jarofbeees
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Recent works
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S. lepidophylla by jarofbeees
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
"I do have a suggestion," John said, coming to take a seat beside her. She sat up and squared her shoulders. When John wanted to sit beside her, it usually meant the conversation coming next would leave her agitated and tired. "I think you need to produce an heir of your own."
Kiriona stared. Seconds of silence passed by with only her wide eyes and John's impassive glance. Finally, she burst into raucous laughter, going so far as to slap her knee.
or
Gideon Nav's 57th escape attempt works, but she stumbles right into God. Divinity kind of sucks. At least John lets her pick her own wife.
Harrowhark doesn't get a choice.
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Hold you high above the flames by jarofbeees
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
"The Houses have grown fat on the Cohort's efforts. They linger within the safety of Dominicus, entirely unaware of the sacrifices we make to protect them. The time has come to call upon their sons and daughters, to enlist their blood for the glory of the Emperor Undying."
aka
What if you took the coffee shop AU River bubble but made it fucked up? The finest adepts of the Nine Houses face 'recruitment' into the Cohort, against their better judgment and their will. Harrowhark knows she's walking into the jaws of death, alongside seven others.
This will not be gentle. Please read the tags and intro.
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Unintended side effects by jarofbeees
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
26 Jan 2026
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Summary
Harrowhark knew damn well that her medications were life-saving. Except a new dose hits her right in the libido.
Gideon isn't concerned.
(Set in the same universe as "A rush of blood is not enough", but it can be read as a standalone.)
Series
- Part 3 of I Dare You
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A rush of blood is not enough by jarofbeees
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
What if Gideon and Harrow grew up in a 21st century small Midwestern town? What if Catholic trauma haunted their lives? What if so many wires crossed during their youth that everything feels impossible now? What if atypical antipsychotics weren't enough?
What if Ianthe sold coke on the dark web?
Series
- Part 1 of I Dare You
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Sexual Awakening by jarofbeees
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
01 Nov 2025
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Summary
It's the time of year for Coronabeth's annual Halloween party. With a theme as interesting as "dress as your sexual awakening", Gideon cannot resist the chance to be a fucking problem.
Set loosely in the same universe as my fic "A rush of blood is not enough," but it can be read as a standalone modern AU. I quarantined the smut to chapter 2.
Series
- Part 2 of I Dare You
Recent series
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I Dare You by jarofbeees
Fandom The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
26 Jan 2026
Summary
Small towns and churches are hell for girls growing up. At least Gideon thinks so. A rage of emotions strips her away from her childhood best/worst friend. But eight years later, everything flips on its head when Harrowhark shows up as the new pharmacist at work.
(Modern AU, all based in the same universe)
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Recent bookmarks
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You Go Down Just Like Holy Mary... by ckwrites
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
01 Nov 2022
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Summary
God, there’d been a time when Gideon had wanted nothing less than to be close to Harrow. And then shit had happened that had made them both…realize some things. Harrow had inherited the throne, had needed a guard, and Gideon had been…well. Bored.
Who could have fucking guessed that they’d fall in love? That she, Gideon fucking Nav, buff beast of the Ninth, would have fallen for a glorified stick figure that rattled with every step from the sheer amount of bones she wore?
It was comical. It was absurd. It was fucking great.
-x-
Medieval!AU where Gideon is queen Harrow's personal guard, and they fuck in a church.
That's it, that's the fic.
Bookmarked by jarofbeees
02 Mar 2026
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avant gardener by pearlpool
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
25 Jul 2024
Tags
Summary
It’s death. It is actual death and dying to spend an afternoon slowly liquefying in a two bedroom apartment in the absolute armpit of July without air conditioning. It’s inescapable, and it’s bad, and it’s probably pretty similar to what hell is like.
But. To have to suffer this inferno alongside the literal pit fiend known as Harrowhark Nonagesimus is undeniably worse. The slowest and cruelest fate possible, in Gideon’s humble opinion.
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or, griddlehark are roommates and there's a heatwave. they hook up about it.
Bookmarked by jarofbeees
22 Feb 2026
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Countdown by imalwaysstraight for LesbianJesusLovesYou
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
17 Nov 2023
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Summary
Head cocked and arms crossed, her face is hard as the rock she once rolled away. You know this expression like the pommel of your sword.
Gideon Novemsotiria—Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House, Saint of Forgiveness, the unwitting once-furnace of your soul, she who slayed the King Undying and mended your weak and broken heart—is done with your bullshit.
Bookmarked by jarofbeees
19 Feb 2026
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silver and gold. by PineAndPetrichor
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
04 Sep 2022
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Summary
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Harrow, naked on the bed. Blindfolded. Nerves churning.Arching into the touch—
The woman whispers: “So willing. And you don’t even know me.”or,
Harrow wants blindfolded anonymous sex. Guess who she gets matched with.Bookmarked by jarofbeees
15 Feb 2026
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I’ll pretend being with you doesn’t feel like drowning by amidnightsurgery
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
04 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
“So you want to shake off Ianthe and I want to make Corona see me as a legit romantic prospect. I have the perfect plan,” Gideon said, her eyes glowing in the way that told Harrow she was much drunker than she’d been letting on.
“That’s not a comforting statement coming from you,” Harrow replied, knowing she was definitely not drunk enough for whatever Gideon was about to say.
“We should pretend to date each other."
“No,” Harrow said. “Absolutely not.”
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Harrow agrees to fake-date Gideon and it goes completely smoothly and according to plan.Just kidding, it's an absolute disaster of pining and repressed feelings.
Bookmarked by jarofbeees
15 Feb 2026