ki_sa
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Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of cjo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,370
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 720
- Kudos:
- 25,027
- Bookmarks:
- 5,219
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by ki_sa
04 May 2026
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Of Gold and Iron by Kallypso
Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
01 Oct 2021
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It begins the night of the car crash that took Ned Stark's life. The tragedy leaves the Stark family struggling to pick up the pieces. But Arya knows in her gut that her father's death wasn't an accident, and a clue at his graveside sends her across the narrow sea to learn the truth.
She does not return for three years.
Tywin Lannister finds it more than a little strange that three prominent CEOs in King's Landing died within a year of each other. And when the missing, declared-dead Stark girl shows up in the Lannister manor three years after she disappeared, his suspicions only grow.
A series of strange events suddenly draw the Starks and Lannisters together, forcing them to cooperate for once-or else become victims of a conspiracy they do not yet understand.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 249,111
- Chapters:
- 66/66
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 2,408
- Kudos:
- 2,020
- Bookmarks:
- 453
- Hits:
- 84,150
Bookmarked by ki_sa
02 May 2026
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sender: [email protected]
recipient: [email protected]
subject: Today’s MeetingGranger –
Attached is the dry-cleaning bill for the shirt you ruined when you threw your tea at it. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I happened to be wearing the shirt at the time. You are lucky it was cold. Pay the bill and I won’t sue you for assault.
Regards,
Thomas Marvolo Riddle
CEO of Walpurgis Corporatesender: [email protected]
recipient: [email protected]
subject: re: Today’s MeetingRiddle –
I did notice, because unlike you, I can identify when something is being inhabited, you forest-destroying monster.
You do not require a dry cleaner to get herbal tea out of a shirt. The shirt was black, the tea was camomile, and you have no grounds on which to stand nor sue. Your company, however, WILL be exposed for the havoc it is wreaking upon our natural world.
Sincerely,
Hermione Jean Granger
CEO of Not being a Twat- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,774
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 267
- Kudos:
- 3,464
- Bookmarks:
- 745
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- 34,535
Bookmarked by ki_sa
03 Apr 2026
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Inspired by this fake boyfriend ad. Spock decides to make his problems with Sarek worse by bringing home a punk human boyfriend his dad will hate.
Jim swears he can be that guy. But can he, when deep down he's just a stack of books with legs?
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The Dark Lord thought a marriage law would be a good way to keep Hermione Granger from helping Harry Potter defeat him. Unfortunately for the wizard formerly known as Tom Riddle, things don’t go quite according to plan.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 74,236
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,300
- Kudos:
- 3,268
- Bookmarks:
- 763
- Hits:
- 99,546
Bookmarked by ki_sa
26 Mar 2026