9 Works by kuaptic
Listing Works
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Summary
Lila Pitts has been running for a long time, from the Commission, from her mother, running from Five, who she left stranded, broke and without his favorite jacket, all because he didn't love her. Since then, she's been to hundred worlds, and suffered the contempt of almost as many Fives, like the feelings of her Five infected the others.
Landing in 1997 New York to do a job for one Reginald Hargreeves and is almost instantly entangled with her least/most favorite person. But this Five is a little out of pocket. He's the Curator of exhibitions of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. And he paints, with colors all day but then covers his canvases in black at night.
Lila and Five are two people with a terrible sucking darkness in them. Maybe it's time to see if they fit. And plan a heist with Klaus, Viktor and Luther, before the whole thing goes sideways, the Commission shows up or Reggie decides to help.
PS This is the smut one, but not until ch. 4.
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I think we've come too far for an epilogue. But this was once part of the epilogue (So; yay! We made it.) The gang, after growing up and leaving the academy, and then growing up some more, must come together to celebrate everyone's least favorite dead guy. Secrets, feelings and surprises ensue.
This is the third installment (out of four-ish) of Anthem.
Series
- Part 3 of Anthem
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His words wound around her mind, his kiss burned on her cheek, even after he left.
It all felt like a dream the next day as Lila sat in the nearly empty church, cold and grey, with pointed gothic arches and the smallest stained glass windows that quickly turned muddy in the gathering darkness. It was shadowy and cold and she couldn’t even remember how she and Allison had found it early that morning. Allison by her side, and Inspector Ben in the last seat on the aisle. She hadn’t realized that their friends were just money – when it vanished, they did too. There was that worm of panic in her chest again – who was Charles? What had he done with the money? What would she do next? Her whole life was gone. She might have to go back to what she did before.
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Five Hargreeves, born to a normal family in a world where some people have powers, lived with his mom, her second husband, Jeff, and his siblings Diego and Harper. He was fourteen when he got stuck in the apocalypse that wiped out his family for 20 years. The Camera Obscura (Latin for the future) fished him out – but then his body was fourteen again, even though he remained 34 years old. Thirteen years later, they regularly send him into different dimensions to kill people and either provoke or prevent apocalypses. He doesn’t know which or why, and he doesn’t care.
Lila Pitts is the adopted daughter of one of the higher ups at the Camera after her parents are killed during a break-in. Though trained as an Assassin, Lila worked in Infiltration her whole career. She goes largely unnoticed at the Camera. She’s great at pretending to be other people but bad at seeing red flags. When she met Diego, he was nice to her, listened to her. It only took that much to make her fall for him.
Now our assassin Five, a different Five than the one she knows, turns up at her wedding with a bizarre assignment. Five and Lila have to team up to figure out what’s going on.
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Summary
For those who read and loved Anthem and wanted to see what happened next, I offer Terzetto, 14k split into chapters. Is there a happy ending? Yes. Is there a lot of angst and romance before then? Also yes.
In this timeline, Lila Hargreeves was Number 8 at the Umbrella Academy and grew up playing physics with. On the last summer at the Academy, Lila and Five engaged in an experiment that changed everything.
In Terzetto, see Lila and Five's early adulthood -- they save each other, learn some things and flirt. Good luck, kids!
TW: PTSD
One instance of drug useFor those who haven't read Anthem, but want to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70559931/chapters/183344971
Series
- Part 2 of Anthem
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Five and Lila spend a non-canonical second Christmas in the Strawberry House.
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The Umbrella Academy is just the same except for one little difference. Lila Pitts is number 8. It changes everything.
The summer they are seventeen, she decides that most of what Reg has taught them is horseshit and since they’ve never had a summer, they’re going to make their own.
“I was just thinking about summer,” Lila said, dreamy.
“Like what?”
“Like we’ve never had one.”
“So what’ll it look like?”
“Sneaking out as much as possible. Maybe we’ll go to the beach?”
Series
- Part 1 of Anthem
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Too tired from her kids' Halloween chaos, Lila sits in the car outside the annual Hargreeves Halloween Party. She receives a visit from an unexpected guest.
Cultural References:
XMen
Fantastic Four
The Addams Family (with Raul Julia)
"Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer
Batman (1966) -
Bend it Till it Breaks by kuaptic for Rowan_555, HansoDax, ClumsyBookworm18, KitsuneUdon743, monfivela, LokiNightfury, panjava_clown_69, Alexa_K3S
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
28 Aug 2025
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Summary
The mission seemed simple at first -- kill the guy who kills Hitler and who else would the Commission give it to but their best agents, Five Hargreeves and Lila Pitts. There's just one tiny problem. Lila can't play the temptress, so the roll falls to Five. It's not a problem for him, but when Lila gets intense about teaching him how to be a woman, things go awry.