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  1. Public Bookmark 9

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    Summary

    When David finally opens his front door, Patrick Brewer is leaning against the entryway wall, arms crossed and foot tapping against the floor, clad in a pair of very tight Levi's and the ugliest puffer jacket that David has ever seen. The fashion disaster, however, can't hide how attractive Patrick is—broad shoulders, thick thighs, and a couple of stray curls peaking out of the toque crammed on his head all take David by surprise. Even the whiskey-brown eyes are gorgeous, despite the way they're narrowed in David's direction.

    David is a celebrity stylist, tasked with styling up and coming indie musician Patrick Brewer, but a freak snowstorm traps them together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,334
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    438

    19 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 5

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    Summary

    David, a New York gallerist with who lacks some business sense, and Patrick, a small business consultant who is new to the city, meet when Johnny thinks that David needs some professional help. David and Patrick agree to enter a fake romantic relationship to change how the public and their families see them. And they absolutely will not fall for each other. No way. Impossible. Ludicrous for you to even suggest that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,035
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    308

    19 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 14

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    Summary

    “You’re a vision, David,” a breathy, deep voice was telling him. “This is how you were meant to be presented to the world.”

    On a trip to NYC to celebrate the latest milestone in Alexis’ career, David and Patrick run into a face from his old crowd. What was supposed to be a highly anticipated city break/family reunion quickly turns awry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115,264
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    224
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    4,391

    12 Oct 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 23

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    Summary

    It’s hard not to have fun. The siblings seem to hate each other as much as he hates them. They both seem to know how privileged, vain, vapid, and deeply selfish the other is, failing to see it in themselves. They try to embarrass each other with stories about their past life, some of which he recognizes from his research, some he doesn’t. They don’t seem to care who he is. He could be an undercover operative from the government, sent to spy on them, for all they know. Patrick is glad he didn’t spend any time creating an elaborate backstory. No one has asked him anything.
     

    Patrick is a tax investigator with the federal government who has tracked the Roses for years. When David Rose starts making moves to start a business, he heads to Schitt's Creek to see for himself what's going on.

    Or, an obnoxiously canon-compliant retelling based on a head canon I can't unsee.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    149,357
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    137
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    4,963

    12 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 12

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    Summary

    In this Alternative Universe (AU), Patrick learns Rachel's secret about their daughter, Franny.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,349
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3,694

    10 Oct 2025