neutral_god
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A story of Chan discovering more about who he is and how he loves through messy parties and late-night drives with his best friend Minho.
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Everyone deserves to have somebody looking after them, and Changbin wants Chan to know that he'll be that person for him.
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He’s always been open about who his favourite hyung is.
Lee Know. Lee Minho. The dancing gem. The beautiful boy with so much raw talent in his voice, his body, his character… It’s always been him. Ever since the elder of the two first joined JYP. Young, fresh-faced, barely an adult… Seungmin latched on to him and never let go.
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Seungmin reflects upon his relationship with Lee Know through the process of how CINEMA comes to be.
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"Is this your first time with a man?"
"Yeah. Yours?"
"Oh—no."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Who, another player?"
He stopped. He hesitated.
"no, my coach's son back in russia."Just as they begin to believe in something stable and lasting, a scandal erupts: a former Russian national team coach is exposed as a serial abuser, and images from Ilya’s past begin circulating in the media.
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When Shane first notices in the locker room showers, he’s having about six different crises at the same time that he’s trying not to get caught looking anywhere near Rozanov’s dick, so it doesn’t really register all the way.
It’s not until he’s watching Rozanov move up the bed that night that Shane’s eyes snag again on the scars littering his upper thighs and he realises what they are: self-inflicted.
Or: they’re both a little less terrible at having feelings for their rival-with-benefits, Shane grows more comfortable with letting some rules change, and Ilya grows more comfortable with opening up to Shane.
Bookmarked by neutral_god
13 Apr 2026
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Ilya hadn’t known the video existed. If he had known, he would have paid someone to have it destroyed. Would have paid someone to murder Kuznetsov, maybe, just for redundancy's sake. But it was peak stupidity, to keep evidence of your homosexual perversion around in a country where that crime could get you sent to jail for several decades, and Ilya hadn’t thought that Kuznetsov would be that dumb.
Now here Ilya was, watching a video of his fourteen-year-old self on Twitter getting fucked by his former hockey coach.
So. There go the plans for the rest of his life.
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Or: in 2018, during Ilya's last year with the Raiders, an old video is leaked on Twitter. Ilya reacts, or overreacts. Shane does, too.
Series
- Part 21 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,773
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 535
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Bookmarked by neutral_god
12 Apr 2026
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you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by barnes_romzanov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Dec 2025
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It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is.
His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped.
Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken.
Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too.
or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place.
"I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.
Series
- Part 1 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
- Language:
- English
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- 15,440
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by neutral_god
12 Apr 2026
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Ilya was quiet for a long moment. "I'm scared I'm going to end up like my mother."
Ilya is struggling while Shane is on the road with the Metros, and the distance, combined with a brutal depressive episode, leaves Ilya spiralling. When everything becomes too much and the intrusive thoughts won't stop, Ilya takes Anya for a walk - and somehow ends up at Shane's parents' house.
Series
- Part 1 of Hollanov Angst Time
Bookmarked by neutral_god
10 Apr 2026