orthostatics



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is breathing in manly shampoo, and his arm is numb, and he’s lived this day already. At least once, but he thinks it could be more. The panic hits him first, slamming him into the scratched plexiglass of his own body. He pushes off of it, and he ends up on the other side of the bed.

    Hollander makes a noise like a creaky door, and Ilya swallows.

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    26 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The 2008 World Junior Hockey Championships are hosted in Regina, Saskatchewan, a place with absolutely fucking nothing to do. Ilya and Shane find themselves in each other's company, trying to pass the time.

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    26 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 39

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    Shane Hollander was very good at denying himself. It was nearly an automatic response by now, a form of survival just like any other bodily function. Eat, sleep, hide your shame. Discipline was the foundation of control, and control was how you kept standing on your feet. All Shane needed to do was to never falter.

    Enter Category 5 hurricane Ilya.

    Or: Shane vs desire.

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    25 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Stop asking me if it's okay. If I want it. You're always, like—whatever. I'm not one of your fucking girls, okay? If I don't like it, I'll stop you. I can make you stop."

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    24 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ha ha,” Shane says, then, feeling very brave and magnanimous: “Just, you know. I could top, if you wanted me to.”

    Ilya laughs at him.

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    23 Jan 2026