outlandish82
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After the war, Draco Malfoy is sentenced to a binding marriage. No one expects Harry Potter to offer himself—but he does. Out of duty, defiance, and something he can’t yet name.
It’s not love. But it might be something just as powerful.****Updates might be sporadic for a bit, sorry! I lowkey destroyed my knee skiing, and drugs make focusing hard****
❤️Updates on Wednesdays & Fridays❤️ -
Cigarettes and Other Legal Expenses by outlandish82
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Jun 2025
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Draco Malfoy knows three things:
1. The best things are the most expensive. Like the law firm he has on retainer.
2. He will not quit smoking.
3. If you want Harry Potter's attention, you might have to get arrested for it...repeatedly. -
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Harry Potter has a mystery to solve. No, not a dark artifact or a rogue curse--but a viral thirst-trap account that posts videos of him every spring and summer...all set to the same ridiculous song. The public loves it. Draco really loves it. And Harry? He's spiraling.
Armed with a well-stocked wardrobe, a body honed by combat training, too many tattoos, and a disturbing lack of trousers (Draco's fault), Harry is determined to unmask the anonymous poster--especially now that the footage is getting closer to home.
Featuring chaotic family dynamics, hoochie daddy shorts, sleuthing with zero subtlety, and one very invested husband, this summer Harry's going to find answers...or at least look good trying.
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Draco doesn’t know how to be soft. Not with himself, not with anyone else. But Harry Potter keeps offering himself up without demand or expectation, like softness is something he’s always known how to survive.
Set in the quiet aftermath of war, this is the story of how Draco learns to want. To trust. To stay.
A study in breath, in warmth, in the terrifying beauty of being seen—and letting yourself be held anyway.
Series
- Part 2 of The Weight of Wanting
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Harry has a favorite cocktail lounge, and he spends every Tuesday evening there.
Mira, the owner, swears his "perfect match" comes in on Wednesdays.
He doesn't believe her.
But then, a Tuesday night act cancels.
And Draco Malfoy walks onto the stage.
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Who Shagged Harry Potter? by Faith Wood (faithwood)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2012
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One beautiful sunny Sunday the Slytherins wake up after a raunchy night only to discover a very naked Harry Potter sleeping in their dormitory. Naturally, they ask themselves a logical question: Who the hell shagged him?
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Harry never gave much thought to Malfoy's soulmark. But that was before he caught a glimpse. Now it's all he can think about.
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In a world where every touch of a soulmate leaves a temporary heat mark on bare skin, Draco Malfoy suddenly finds his life devolving into a massive cliche because the Boy Who Lived Twice has no idea how to respect the personal space bubble.
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“I never would have thought you had it in you,” Potter’s heated murmur against his jaw is dark and full of depraved promises. “I’ll give you this much, Malfoy, you sure know how to get a man’s attention.”
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"Our whole lives we have always told people that we were married. I knew that it wasn't exactly normal but it was always something that filled me with so much affection for you. I have loved you for so long. Longer than I ever realized." Harry took a deep breath as he looked into shining silver eyes.
Or...
Three-year-old Harry asks little Draco to marry him and they insist to anyone who will listen that they are indeed already married.