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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Three bonus chapters added!

    Shane Hollander has spent his entire life in control: of his career, his image, his relationships, his body.

    After a season where everything cracks, he makes one reckless decision. An anonymous request through a premier service built on discretion.

    A masked encounter. No names, no awkward hesitation, no conversation. Just one night where someone else takes the choices away.

    What Shane doesn’t know is that the man who accepts the request has wanted him for years.

    And his rival Ilya Rosanov knows exactly who he’s here for.

    What starts as a single night becomes something much harder to walk away from than either of them expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,348
    Chapters:
    13/13
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    502
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    13 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 76

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    fics & one shots that exist in the same universe of my versions of Shane and Ilya <3

    Words:
    87,897
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    76

    19 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya’s hand wraps around his bare wrist and squeezes. Shane barely stops himself from collapsing to his knees.

    The pressure lights up every receptor of his touch-starved nervous system, wrenching a small, pained noise from the back of his throat. Every muted sensation comes flooding back so intensely that it almost hurts. He needs Ilya to hold him down until there’s nothing inside him but quiet. He wants to sink into him and disappear.

    It takes Shane an entire beat to remember where they are. Fighting against the fog in his mind, he manages to drag his gaze up to meet Ilya’s.

    There’s a slow-dawning horror and understanding on Ilya’s face.

    *

    Or: Shane is in subdrop after their encounter in Vegas. Ilya fixes it.

    Language:
    English
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    8,769
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1,036
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    49,085
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    10 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The first time they hooked up, Rozanov had kissed him before Shane got on his knees. They kissed when Scott Hunter was in the room next-door. And they kissed slowly and sweetly, on his apartment stairway, after Rozanov had taken his world apart and put him back together again. Hell, even in that bathroom, where he felt as if the Russian was trampling on his bared soul, Rozanov had kissed him.

    So why was it different this time? What did he do wrong?

    Shane aches with how much he wants—needs the other man. There is a hollow numbness in his chest every time he thinks about those golden curls and ocean eyes, and he hates himself for wishing he could have more.

    ---

    Wanting Hollander is dangerous, because Ilya is wanting more than he’s allowed to have. But Ilya keeps wanting more and more, because he is vain, selfish, undisciplined. He wants to have Hollander in his arms, sweet, warm, and gorgeous.

    And he will always regret it later, in the quiet moments that come in the aftermath, in the small and lingering ache that follows him once they are apart.

    Or: Shane spirals and avoids Ilya post-Vegas. Ilya chases after him, and they talk.

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    English
    Words:
    18,944
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    09 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Why are you here?” Ilya asked, very quietly.
    It still felt like a slap.
    Shane must have let out a sound of some sort, because Ilya turned to look at him, finally.
    “Did not mean it like that,” Ilya said. “Just… surprised.”
    Shane shifted awkwardly from one foot to the next, as if he was suddenly coming to the realization that he had no right to be here at all. “I got a call from the hospital,” he explained. “They told me I’m your emergency contact.”
    “Sorry,” Ilya said, in such a quiet voice it was almost impossible to hear him. “I forgot to change it.”
    Shane could only frown. That did not make him any less confused. “I guess I just… I don’t understand why you put me down as your emergency contact in the first place. It’s not like we…”
    Ilya took a couple of deep breaths. It looked like they were painful. His eyes slid away from Shane, like he couldn’t bear to look at him. “Did not have anyone else,” he admitted, and now his voice was the smallest Shane had ever heard it, like Ilya was trying to disappear as the words left him. “I’m sorry.”

    --

    Or: Ilya has a car accident. Shane is his emergency contact... even though they're no longer seeing each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,376
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    130
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    07 Mar 2026