spottedtiger
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Lessons in Flirting (Unintentionally and Definitely Not Romantically) by shrimprangoon
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Hen sighs. “Something had to be said before you idiots put us in mortal peril.”
“I’d never do anything to jeopardize our safety on a job! You know that Hen.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” Chim chimes in, “but, see, the thing is, when you flirt with our Buck, his brain turns off. He just bluescreens.”
“You’re flustering the poor boy, Eddie,” Hen adds. “And it’s making him dumb.”
“-er,” Chim adds.
“Wha- Buck isn’t flustered.”
Eddie is flustered. His face feels hot. He takes another sip of his coffee to give his hands something do to, but that only makes him feel warmer. Shit.
Hen levels him with the most deadpan look. “Last week he walked into a stop sign after you called him ‘big boy’ on a call.”
Eddie nearly spits out his coffee.
Or: the one where Eddie subconsciously flirts with Buck without realizing and Buck is actively trying not to have a heart attack at work about it
Series
- Part 1 of Lessons in Dumbassery
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,342
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 285
- Kudos:
- 2,162
- Bookmarks:
- 643
- Hits:
- 36,645
Bookmarked by spottedtiger
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
"EDDIE! HI!,” Buck yells. Everyone in the room flinches. Buck clears his throat. “Um. Hi. Good morning,” he whispers. “Nice to see you both here today.”
“In our…kitchen?” Christopher asks.
“Exactly,” Buck agrees. “It’s a nice kitchen. And my favorite guys are in it. Just like…just like normal.”
“Okay,” Christopher shrugs. “I don’t remember you being this weird.”
Or, Buck and Eddie try to keep their new relationship a secret. It doesn't go well.
Bookmarked by spottedtiger
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
“Buck,” Eddie says, a small smile curving at the edge of his mouth, “wanna get married? For our honeymoon, we’ll scam your parents out of some money and make Ravi’s accountant do our taxes.”
“Well,” Buck says drily, “that sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”
“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, in his very best – meaning very bad – impression of Buck when he gets his hands on a clipboard. “What was that?”
“Yes, Eddie,” Buck says, putting on an air of suffering despite the butterflies making themselves at home in his stomach. Man, whoever Eddie ends up proposing to for realsies is gonna be so lucky. “I’ll marry you.”
or: buck is invited to a family reunion and realises that there's a good chunk of money waiting for him. there’s one issue, though: he has to be married to claim it, and right now, he’s painfully single. it’s a good thing he has such a great best friend in eddie, right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,978
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 192
- Kudos:
- 2,331
- Bookmarks:
- 643
- Hits:
- 20,724
Bookmarked by spottedtiger
22 Jun 2025
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Summary
“You two are probably the most likely to believe what I’m about to say. I’ll say it once and after that we really don’t have time. We need to get the others. Today is November 14th…”
Hen and Chim cut Buck off with another laugh, like any of this was funny.
“Thank you, Captain obvious.” Chimney chuckled nervously, knowing that something was definitely different by the way Buck was carrying himself.
“Today, is November 14th, 2029. You’ve been gone for five years and apparently now you and everyone else that blipped is back. Get in the car.”
OR
The blip happens, everyone but Buck and Bobby disappear, and Buck ends up with all the 118 children.
Series
- Part 1 of Five Years Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,442
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 298
- Kudos:
- 2,386
- Bookmarks:
- 692
- Hits:
- 34,141
Bookmarked by spottedtiger
18 Jun 2025
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Summary
May realised a very long time ago that Buck was basically her stepbrother. So, when the lightning strike finally provided the impetus for Bobby to admit that he also brought a kid into their family, she had every intention of seizing the opportunity to properly integrate Buck into the Grant-Nash family.
And, look, if in the process she also gains a brother-in-law… clearly the universe was just waiting for the opportunity to make that happen.
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Or, the one where May ensures Buck is enfolded properly into the Grant-Nash clan, which means Bobby (and by extension the firefam, because gossip) suddenly gets significantly more insight into the inner workings of the Buckley-Diaz family, and all roads lead to Buddie…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,004
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 1,021
- Kudos:
- 8,694
- Bookmarks:
- 3,130
- Hits:
- 173,517
Bookmarked by spottedtiger
16 Jun 2025