squandedae
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Recent works
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(you are) where i feel safest by squandedae
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
29 Dec 2024
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Summary
He would wake up in the morning, and he would hate himself. He would scold himself for overestimating himself and drinking the alcohol. For being reckless.
(Not with his life, of course.)
(...but with his relationship with Ratio.)or, they've both had too much at Robin's concert.
Series
- Part 3 of honkai: star rail oneshots ;D
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(i would never let myself) forget you by squandedae
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
28 Oct 2024
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Summary
“Jiaoqiu?” Moze said, a bit desperately. “What are you doing?”
The answer was immediate, almost as if he had expected the question. And those eyes, again, like the richest, spiciest broth with the deepest crimson puddles of blood. Gods, why were they so beautiful?
“I feel like I’m forgetting what you look like,” Jiaoqiu whispered hoarsely, and the sheer amount of terror in that voice shook Moze to his bones.or, Moze is dragged into a secluded corner for a very important pep talk
Series
- Part 2 of honkai: star rail oneshots ;D
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(i could love you) in another life, perhaps? by squandedae
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
10 Oct 2024
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Summary
Perhaps, in a different life, he would have cared about Ratio. Not his one, not the last one, but in some distant dream. He hoped that some version of him reached this distant goal, because he was too broken, too dead inside to hold the candlelight that always glowed in Ratio’s eyes.
or, Ratio doesn't take it the way he was supposed to. Aventurine finds carefully hidden secrets spilling over in the cradle of their warmth.
Series
- Part 1 of honkai: star rail oneshots ;D
Recent series
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honkai: star rail oneshots ;D by squandedae
Fandom: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
29 Dec 2024
Summary
Small slices of life where the world seems to tilt on its axis <3
- Words:
- 6,330
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“I always think of you,” Aventurine says at once, leaning close. “And I miss you like hell.” How could I not? You’re my adolescence.
Veritas kisses him first. It happens like this: one hand on his cheek, the other at his nape, pulling him in. Aventurine stretches his legs, lets Veritas lie down on top of him. They kiss as if they’re still talking—and they are. They trade breath, because kissing, besides devouring, also means this: placing commas and full stops. Their moans chase one another like they used to on the school field, when they were boys, before Aventurine joined the Club and Veritas was the only person who really mattered.
Or: Aventurine and Ratio meet for the first time in high school, and they’re inseparable. But when Aventurine is invited to join an exclusive school club—the Ten Stonehearts—while Ratio is left on the sidelines, nursing a secret feeling that goes beyond friendship. Their bond begins to fracture… until it breaks completely.
Three years later the balance has shifted—Ratio shines while Aventurine feels adrift. But history tends to repeat itself, and when a reunion brings them face to face, the past is never buried.
Series
- Part 1 of If you'd Dare to Gaze into the Abyss
Bookmarked by squandedae
15 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
it resides in my throat like the dregs of tea
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Summary
It starts, embarrassingly enough, with an ad from Craigslist:
"I’m a 21 y.o art student (male), writing a thesis on the relationship between performance and the awareness of the audience. You don’t care about that. I’m an actor offering to give you the most dramatic night of your life. I’ll be your date to any event/function/family gathering, and convince your friends/family members that I’m either: the biggest mistake of your life or the best thing that ever happened to you. Up to you. I’m very good at what I do."
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Summary
"Hey, Doctor." Aventurine nudges Veritas' ankle with the tip of his shoe, trying to get him to look up from his book. "Want to make a bet?"
Veritas ignores him, knowing better than giving Aventurine the attention he craves. To his annoyance, he has to reread the paragraph he'd been on because of course he didn't retain any of the information in it.
"I bet I can deepthroat your dick without choking on it until you come," Aventurine says, taking the silence as an invitation to continue, and Veritas' eyes stop in the middle of the sentence he was reading. "Ten minutes. What do you say?"
"You are an idiot," Veritas says, eyes flicking up from his book. They stare at each other in silence that drags on, neither of them willing to be the first to look away from the other.
"Sooo ..." Stretching out the last syllable, Aventurine tilts his head, looking intrigued. "Does that mean you agree to bet against me?"
- It does. But the rules of the game change.
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Summary
If anyone else tried to strap Aventurine down to a machine like this again he’d bite and claw his way off it… Then he’d probably get back on it and torture himself, but that’s different. That’s him giving himself what he deserves, the best feeling he can get these days. Anyone else would be using him, would be trying to mould him into another shape where the angles don’t add up. They’d be leering and drooling.
Ratio isn't like anybody else
Ratio edges Aventurine with sex toys. For science.
Series
- Part 2 of Ratiorine NSFW Week 2024
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Summary
"You treat life like cards," Veritas says, and he sounds tired. "I wonder if you do things not because you want to, but because you think they’ll push you toward some optimal outcome."
Aventurine is quiet. Funny. He should’ve figured something like this would happen soon. Veritas knows a little too much, can see through Aventurine a little too well, and now he thinks it’s his place to pass judgment. “Isn’t that life?” Aventurine wonders. “Don’t most people make choices with the future in mind?”
“Not like this,” Veritas says. Softer, “Not here.”