thistels
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Recent works
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The Butcher of Cintra by thistels
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
14 Feb 2026
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Summary
The Witchers got sick of being treated like vermin and turned the tides. Now they live as royalty, pampered and entitled on their mountain and those who need their help pay a steep price for it.
This life has made them cruel and spoiled and several laws have been implemented where refusing a Witcher service or charging them for basically anything is a crime. They want revenge for how they were treated before.
Viscount Julian has been sent to their castle at Kaer Morhen to buy the aid of the Witchers, but what do you pay someone who already has more coin than they can spend?
Ass.
Ass is the answer.
And who other than our favorite (though morally black and horribly jaded) Geralt, the infamous Butcher of Cintra, accepts the contract?
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Bleeding bard by thistels
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
Geralt disappears one night and Jaskier follows a trail of monster bodies that have been drained of blood and puts two and two together. Geralt hates being turned into something even more monstrous and Jaskier is hellbent on making Geralt feed on something with more nutritional value than Drowners, preferably himself.
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A story about how years of pining and poor communication finally culminate into something more when Geralt is turned into a vampire. (Surprise, this isn't actually the first time they've fucked)
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Who could love a Witcher? by Mia_Da_Cat, thistels
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
The Path is lonely and Geralt is starved for touch and affection. He goes to bed with the bard in Posada to scratch an itch, expecting the bard to want to do horrible, violent things to him like most people do when they have an indestructible beast kneeling for them.
Instead the bard calls him nice things and doesn't leave when he's taken his pleasure and starts following him around the continent. Geralt is confused, thinking that Jaskier must be hiding some ulterior motive and bloody appetites but somewhere along the way they become friends.
Convinced that Witchers are unlovable creatures Geralt fights a hard inner battle with himself only to be faced with the most horrifying reality just as he is ready to let his guard down around the bard - Jaskier was worse than anyone else he'd ever taken to bed.
(There will be a happy ending eventually but there will be a lot of hurt and anxiety to get there, this is NOT a happy story)
Completed work, safe to read unlike most of my other works haha
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The Making of Rings by thistels
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (TV 2022), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
When Celebrimbor first starts to take notice of how handsome the human smith is it is of no consequence because he will not stay in Eregion for long.
But when the Man returns wounded Celebrimbor takes pity on him and cannot turn him away despite his promise to Galadriel. They fall into bed together. And might they not make rings for Men, too?
When Halbrand reveals himself to be Annatar, Celebrimbor finds religion at his doorstep and in between his sheets. Is there anything the two of them cannot do together?
And when Sauron reveals his true face Celebrimbor does not know if he has the strength to fight him. What is the price of rings compared to ones soul?
Or in other words: Sauron discovers that he barely has to manipulate Celebrimbor at all if only he barters with his flesh, which he is most happy to do because Sauron was meant to be worshiped.
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The Witcher and the Incubus by Mia_Da_Cat, thistels
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
10 Oct 2025
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Summary
Geralt is contracted to clear out a den of sexual horror. Succubus and Incubus have banded together and stolen humans to keep as sexual slaves, killing others and causing chaos.
But when Geralt stumbles over a young man who is only part Incubus he can't make himself kill it. He takes Jaskier on the road with him to keep an eye on him. And then he tries very hard to convince himself that he doesn't want to be the only person Jaskier ever has to feed on.
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Two monsters with raging pheromones, lots of self-hatred and who are bad at communication.
OR
An excuse for me to write the line "If two monsters fuck in the forest and no one is around to hear them, does it really count?"
Recent series
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A day in the life of Bottom-Bucky by thistels
Fandom Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
02 Aug 2018
- Words:
- 8,984
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 89
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- Words:
- 14,267
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Geralt remembered, dimly, the feel of gentle hands on his skin. A hand in his. A kiss pressed to his forehead. A hand touching his sticky, sickly face, and recoiling. A cry of shock and pain. A glimpse of blistered skin.
“How long has it been?” Jaskier said. “Since somebody touched you?”
The mutagens used to make boys into witchers leave poison in their skin, in their hair, in their blood. To touch a witcher is agony. To get too close to one is deadly.
Jaskier doesn't seem to care.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,806
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 328
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- 5,007
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- 909
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- 39,324
Bookmarked by thistels
06 Jan 2026
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Knot Out of the Question by dandelionpuff
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
Jaskier has... a thought.
It’s merely the natural progression of things, he tells himself. And usually, he’s a much better liar, with an impassable expression that serves him very well at Gwent.
And yet, as he lay on his belly between Geralt’s spread legs, his mouth around the witcher’s cock, his lips brushing the hot, throbbing gland at the base, it strikes him. He looks up at Geralt, still armored to the teeth except for his unfastened trousers. Geralt looks back at him, his slack expression of pleasure hardening suddenly as he growls, “no.”
Were Jaskier a moral man, that would've been the end of that. As it is, though, he makes a pleading sound in his throat.Series
- Part 2 of Knot a Dealbreaker
Bookmarked by thistels
20 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Shit,” Jaskier swore, knowing what was going to happen even before he saw it: with all his weight back on them, Geralt’s legs buckled, folded. There was no grace to it, only hard impact against the wooden floorboards, and Jaskier winced. But Geralt didn’t stop there, didn’t simply sit and rest; no, his torso pitched forward, elbows bracing before his head could hit the floor, at least.
“Geralt!” Jaskier was by his side again in an instant, kneeling next to him, hands fluttering helplessly. He didn’t know where to touch, where it was safe. It was dark, the room’s lamps not yet lit and only faint moonlight coming through the window. “Shit. This is bad. Real bad.” It took a lot to best a Witcher. Even more so the White Wolf. Venom, usually, if Geralt’s halting recounts of past fights were any believable source.
“What do I do?”
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Jaskier takes care of Geralt, and then 'takes care' of him some more- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,860
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
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- 219
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- 3,567
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- 602
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- 23,679
Bookmarked by thistels
27 Nov 2025
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Skin Debt by LemmingDancer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
18 Jun 2020
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Summary
Geralt’s life was a series of transactions. His human heart and soul exchanged for a predator’s teeth and eyes, a monster head for too little coin, too much coin for tasteless gruel…an endless spiral of uneven trades and bad bargains, Geralt giving too much and receiving too little in return.
Sex was just another transaction.
Now, if only the bard would stick to the terms.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,897
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 387
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- 2,126
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- 328
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Bookmarked by thistels
18 Aug 2025
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Summary
A handful of moments that Jaskier and Geralt shared together where their friendship fell slowly into an unbearable, burning want.
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"Geralt could never say something like: Do you dream about me? He also could never say: Is this friendship? Or: Is this torture? Or: What have you done to my brain?"
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Like a toothache, they feel it hurt more and more until they have to yank it out.Bookmarked by thistels
07 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Absolutely fantastic Jaskier/Geralt, the quality of writing, characters voices and the slow burn, gaaah