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This Is Not a Love Story (It’s a Cautionary Tale) by soffflikestoread
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Sep 2025
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Summary
Cambridge is brilliant.
No rules.
Just cheap vodka and stupid decisions.I live with Theo.
Blaise never looks hungover. I do—often.
I drink too much. I sleep around. I’m enrolled in four courses and have attended approximately… none.
It’s going great.Then I nearly fail a class. And the university, in its infinite cruelty—and before my very noisy parents found out—assigned me a tutor.
Hermione Granger.
Yes, that one.Still a know-it-all. Still smarter than everyone.
She hates me, I think. I still remember the slap in third year. Top five Hogwarts memories, honestly.She was supposed to help me pass.
Now I’m making her laugh, dreaming about her hair, and wondering if emotional collapse counts as extra credit.She has a boyfriend.
I have a type. (Apparently it’s unavailable and morally superior.)What could possibly go wrong?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 133,506
- Chapters:
- 54/54
- Comments:
- 431
- Kudos:
- 279
- Bookmarks:
- 84
- Hits:
- 10,158
Bookmarked by williblush
28 Aug 2025
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Summary
After months of pining for Hermione, Draco has given up on ever getting a chance with the witch. Until she sits on his lap in the middle of a poker game. Wearing a short dress and no underwear. And rides his thigh.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,446
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 104
- Kudos:
- 1,973
- Bookmarks:
- 503
- Hits:
- 48,473
Bookmarked by williblush
08 Jul 2025
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Summary
When the Ministry passes the Marriage Law, Hermione doesn't leave her fate to chance. It's supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement with the last surviving male Black heir. She's got everything perfectly under control.
***
Sirius raised the cigar back to his mouth and clamped it between two rows of white teeth, now bared at her in a wide grin. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you, poppet?”
“No, I’m not.” The seriousness in her tone sounded almost hard, even to her own ears. He was behaving as though this was all just a joke, and she sat up straighter in response, shaking her hair back. “Look, it’s really very simple. The law says that for the purposes of integration, all Muggleborns need to be married to a Pureblood. I’m a Muggleborn, and you’re a Pureblood.” She shrugged with nonchalance, but her hands twisted in her lap. “And—” she added with emphasis “—you owe Harry.”
He raised an eyebrow and gestured at her with the tip of his cigar. His signet ring glinted with orange light from the dancing flames, and she could see the faded black and green ink of his tattoos rippling over his knuckles. “You’re not Harry.”
She shrugged again and gazed at him pointedly. “You owe me too, Sirius.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,960
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 328
- Kudos:
- 3,370
- Bookmarks:
- 822
- Hits:
- 69,320
Bookmarked by williblush
04 May 2025
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Summary
If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.
Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.
The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.
Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.
Series
- Part 1 of Sin's Dreamland Collection
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Tags
Summary
Draco Malfoy is opening up a sex club.
He is also set on hiring the perfect therapist for his club.
Luckily, Granger is available.
I suck at intros but it's a love story with lots of sex. It's why we come to Ao3 anyway.
Bookmarked by williblush
17 Apr 2025
