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"I think you're starting to scare him."
Arin glanced up, taking a moment to let his gaze skim along his wife's spine. She was wearing one of his favorite shirts, a little corset number that showed off that waist of hers, that was tied with a thin bright pink ribbon. He held back the urge to whistle softly, instead locking eyes with her in their bathroom mirror. "What?"
"Dan." She was doing her eyeliner with that deft hand of hers. The wings were definitely out to play today. "You're scaring him."
He slowly smiled as he closed the fanart he'd been looking at - him and Danny as some badasses in Metal Slug - and absently ran a hand through his hair. "How's that?"
"Arin Hanson," she murmured warningly, quirking an eyebrow. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb."
He did. But thinking about it was still a little weird, so he bit the tip of his tongue to try to force himself to rephrase his words before he spat them out. It was hard. Too damn hard. "I, uh..."
"Ariiiiin..."
He chuckled. "C'mon, Suzy."
She gave him The Look through the mirror - wide eyes, pursed lips, pink cheeks - and it was super-effective even with only one eye made up so far. "You're being a dummy, and it needs to stop."
"Oh, is that so?" He leaned forward, crossing his legs on the bed. "How am I being a dumbass?"
"I said a dummy, not a dumbass - it's different - and it's because you're being a hypocrite, and that's stupid, because you're never one of those, ever."
He blinked a few times, wrinkling his brow. "A hypocrite. Really?"
"Uh, yeah?"
She was being a little sassy, but if there was anything he'd learned about Suzy after all these years, it was that she was only sassy when she had something important to say. He'd long since given up being offended by it. "...you gonna tell me why, or...?"
She sighed and capped her eyeliner, pressing it into the counter with a little more force than necessary. "You're...you're just...okay, look, remember yesterday?"
He nodded. "Yeah...?"
"I was getting ready to go off to my shoot, and I had that little talk with Ross, and then you snuck up on me and kissed me..."
"Mm-hmm?"
"...and then you gave Dan the Death Glare of Doom."
"I did not."
"You totally did! Oh my God, sweetie, you were burning a hole through the wall!"
He huffed and fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "You're misinterpreting it."
"No, listen, I'm not done."
He gritted his teeth. Felt his patience shake a little.
"You've been doing that for days now, and it's really stupid, because you know what I went off and did for that shoot?"
"Suzy..."
"I did a lingerie shoot. And do you know, there were three dudes helping out, including the photographer? And did you go down there and threaten to stab them all in the dick?"
Maybe if he pouted she'd stop talking. He doubted it, though. She had a brain, and ninety-nine percent of the time he loved that, but sometimes...grr...
"He thinks I'm pretty. And I hate to burst your bubble, but I am pretty. I thought you might've figured that out already."
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, groaning.
"He's a good man. He's your best friend, and he's one of mine too. And he's good for you - he's so good for you. And it...it wouldn't be good for him to be driven off just because he found me attractive."
She had a point. She really did. But he still squirmed around in the sheets with an audible muttering.
"I just...how is he different from any other guy? If anything, he's the only one that's never gonna try anything. You know that."
"It's just...not cool."
"But why?" The bed caved when she belly-flopped beside him, and he turned his head to look her in the eye, to get a little lost in them with a sigh.
"...it's...i-it's just not, I mean, he's my best friend, right? And you're my wife. And it's just weird."
She winced, pursed her lips in that sympathetic way she had, and reached out to trail her fingers down his cheek. "I...babe, I'm sorry, but...that's not...a good enough reason. If he's the only one you can't stand looking at me, there's something else. Something deeper."
He was being a little passive-aggressive, maybe, but he leaned away from her touch, immediately flipping onto his back to stare at the ceiling. "Why does it matter?"
"Because it does! Because if you scare him off and he leaves the show, you'll never see him again, you know that. And you'll miss him."
Something in his chest swelled. Shit.
"And, you know, that means you'll have to pick Ross as your co-host or something, and I'm betting it'll be like a month before you straight up shank him..."
But he was still focusing on his chest, on his heart, on the way that just thinking of Danny skipping town made it feel like everything was caving in and crushing him and making it hard to breathe, and...and...
This wasn't okay.
He rolled over suddenly and wrapped his arms around Suzy, crushing her to his chest, and she didn't hesitate before looping a leg around his waist and tucking his head under her chin. "Baby?"
He knew what this was, but he didn't like it, and it wasn't okay, and it didn't make any sense, and maybe if he just kept pretending it wasn't there, that it didn't exist, it'd just go away. He could suffocate it and force it down and swallow it and shit it out and let it go.
"Arin...Arin, it's okay." Suzy kissed his forehead, and he closed his eyes for a moment, letting the warmth it made flow over him. "I'm here."
"I know," he murmured, loosening his hold a little. She didn't squirm away. She was amazing like that. She just held on and stabilized his thoughts before they could run away with him again. "I figured out why it's different."
"Okay." More kisses, three of them right in a row. "You can tell me when you're ready."
So patient. Fuck, he didn't deserve her, not a single bit. "...I'm jealous."
She nodded. "Yeah?" When he didn't say more, she pushed a little. "Jealous that he might try and make me interested in him?"
"No." He chuckled, almost sick with the irony in his tone. "Jealous that he's looking at you."
Silence. He felt her fingers pull fistfuls of his shirt in when the realization dawned on her, his brilliant wife. "...instead of you?"
He was the silent one this time.
"...oh, sweetie..."
"I didn't exactly plan it."
"I know, baby."
"It's bullshit." He sounded like he was two years old, but did he really even care? The answer was a big fat no. "I-I just...it's fucking stupid."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why is it stupid?"
He pulled back a little, enough to look her in the eye with a wrinkled brow. "'Cuz...I'm married to you? And you're the most perfect thing that's ever happened to me? I mean, Jesus, Suzy, I'm so fucking lucky, I can't even tell you."
She brushed her fingers through his hair. Her eyes followed the progress of his bangs, how they swept back over the crown of his head before flopping back forward. "That...doesn't invalidate you being jealous, though, does it? Or having feelings for him?"
"I don't have feelings for him," he muttered reflexively.
Suzy caught his gaze and stared at him.
"...goddammit." He finally broke away from her and rolled onto his back again. "Why aren't you hitting me, anyway? Shouldn't you be shoving your ring down my throat or something? I mean, that's...that's what's supposed to happen right now."
She chuckled and nuzzled into his chest, and he reflexively wrapped an arm around her waist. "Question, Arin: when have we ever been completely normal unless forced?"
He licked his lips and sighed.
"...Danny's a good guy, isn't he?"
He closed his eyes, squinting them so tightly shut that they hurt. "Yeah."
"He's nice and he's cute and he's funny-"
"You're not helping me forget about him, y'know."
"You're not gonna."
His entire body was tensing up. He absently started bouncing one of his legs just to get all the nervous energy out, more than he usually dealt with. "I want to."
"You film with him almost every day. He comes over here for dinner. You're in a fucking band with him. You're not just gonna forget he exists."
"Goddamn it."
"What?"
He sat up, ripping a hand through his hair. "Do you think I like this? Looking at him, thinking about him, wanting to...to be with him? I mean, fuck, Suzy! It was easy with you! It doesn't matter that I didn't think I deserved you, because you made it pretty damn clear I was worth your time, somehow, and you wouldn't let me go, and now here we are, right? Married. Together for the rest of our lives. And then there's this asshole." He growled. "I'm so fucking happy with you. You're all I need to be happy, I promise. But I swear to God that he's fucking weaseled his way into my life, and I just..." Nothing was even making any sense, was it? He buried his face in his hands and breathed, tried to fight down the frustration and the anger and put himself back on stable ground.
When Suzy wrapped her arms around him from behind he leaned into her, desperate to feel her acceptance, her love, to know he wasn't just a ruddy piece of shit husband. She hummed out a little sound of sympathy and he let out a shaky breath. "...what if you could...have both?"
Everything in his body went cold. She hadn't just said that. There was no way she'd just...
"Like, I mean, what if...he wanted you too?"
"He doesn't," he mumbled from behind his hands. "Straight as an arrow, Suze. No way in hell he wants The D."
She chuckled and kissed his temple, going back to smoothing his hair, soothing his agitation in that simple movement. "He loves you, though. Maybe not romantically, but I think he'd punch a baby for you."
Arin snorted.
"And I think...there's always a chance that we could make that something more."
"We?" He dropped his hands into his lap and looked at her. "What're you saying?"
"I'm saying..." She bit her bottom lip, eyes distant in thought. "...if he wants me...then maybe we could-"
"You're not doing that for me."
She took his face in her hands and looked him very sternly in the eye. "You don't tell me what I can and can't do. My life. My decisions."
"But-"
"I want you to be happy, Arin! What part of that is so hard for you to understand?"
"But you're talking about...about fucking him, aren't you?"
She shrugged. "Only if you're there."
He blinked. Shook his head a little. "You can't do that. ...can you?"
"What do you say?"
He stared at her, mouth opening and closing in indecision.
"Is it cheating if you're there?"
"I-I..."
"And, listen, you're all I need too, okay? That's it. I've never even thought about looking for someone else. But I love the shit out of him too, and it...I mean, it wouldn't be a huge imposition..." Her cheeks were flushing a little, and Arin couldn't help but grin.
"...you think he's hot, don't you?"
"Arin..." She looked away, biting her bottom lip.
"You do! You totally think he's hot! You actually wanna fuck him?"
"Look, I'm just saying I wouldn't mind, okay? God." She covered her cheeks, like he wouldn't see the blush, like it wouldn't make him laugh just from how cute she was being.
He covered her hands with his, leaning it to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. "...do you think you could do it? Get him in bed with us?"
She scoffed. "Sweetie, please, I could have him naked and cuffed in an hour if I Wanted."
"And you...you really wouldn't mind? You wouldn't hold it against me for the rest of our lives and take me to court and take all my money? 'Cuz I didn't sign a prenup, and, uh..."
She kissed him to shut him up, one of those lingering kisses that always felt like she was sucking every bit of air out of his lungs and making him light-headed and fizzy. When she finally broke it she touched her forehead to his and smiled. "I promise."
"And...and if he's not into it..."
She shrugged. "I'll talk him down. And everything will be okay. I promise."
"He won't leave?"
"No. We won't let him. We can talk shit out. You know that."
He nodded. Slowly exhaled as he stared down at the bed again, biting his bottom lip.
"So what do you say?" she murmured.
"...let's do it."