Chapter Text
"Seriously, Gabe. What the fuck are we doing here?"
Gabriel grinned up at Sam. "We're playing minigolf," he said, selecting a club. "I thought that was fairly obvious."
Sam sighed. "You are a child." He ruffled through the assortment of golf clubs. "Dude, these like come up to my knees."
"Serves you right for being eight feet tall," Dean said.
Cas just looked confused.
"Guess you'll just have to bend over then," Gabriel said, scampering off. "Lucky me."
"Can you not?" Dean called after him.
Sam groaned. He picked a club at random and followed Gabriel out to the course. The air was hot and hazy, and the threat of thunderstorms hung low in the grey evening sky, so the place was nearly empty.
"I still don't understand how you convinced us to play minigolf," Sam grumbled.
"Because I've never done it," Gabriel replied, as if it were obvious. "And I am very convincing."
"Golfing with an archangel," Sam sighed. "Well, I guess I can scratch that off my bucket list."
"I don't understand the mechanics, Dean," Castiel's voice drifted from behind, and Sam snorted.
"Pretty sure there should be some sort of angel handicap," he informed Gabriel. "Well, maybe not for Cas," he amended. "But you, definitely."
"If I didn’t know better I'd suspect you think I'd use my archangelic power for inappropriate purposes," Gabriel said. "I'm offended, little moose."
Sam rolled his eyes. He dropped a hot pink golf ball on the green and swung at it awkwardly, and it landed a respectable distance from the hole.
"I think you need to bend over more," Gabriel said, straight-faced. Sam raised a middle finger.
On his next shot the ball rolled to the hole, teetered, then tumbled in.
"Hah! Suck it," Sam said, swinging his club. He fumbled with the notepad and tiny pencil, marking down his score.
Gabriel clapped politely. He set his bright yellow ball down, eying it thoughtfully, and teed off. It rolled towards its mark -- then began to circle the hole lazily, like a fucking drain, before falling in with a satisfying thwunk.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Showoff," he muttered, but he couldn’t help laughing. He balled up the scorecard and threw it at him.
They played through several more holes, Gabriel sinking his shots in increasingly ridiculous ways, before they glanced back to check on Dean and Cas. They were still at the first fucking green, and Dean had his arms around the angel from behind, ostensibly demonstrating how to swing a golf club, but the mouth attached to Cas' neck suggested slight ulterior motives.
"Oh, God," Sam groaned. "We're going to be here all day."
"Well," Gabriel said with a grin, "I'm sure we can find some interesting nooks and crannies hidden away to explore."
Sam snorted. "Which is likely more than can be said for those idiots. I swear to God, if we get arrested for public indecency… No, you know what, the irony would totally be worth it."
"Ah, I'm glad you're on board," Gabe said, reaching up to yank Sam's head down for a kiss.
Sam groaned and leaned into it, then pushed him slightly away. "I'm OK with the arrested bit," he said. "However, I'd just as soon not add 'traumatizing a group of eight year olds' to my ever-growing list of things I feel guilty about."
"Well, they're already growing up in Florida," Gabriel pointed out. "Not much room left for trauma to begin with."
"Fair point," Sam agreed.
By the time they got to the weird little cave-thing on a hill, Dean and Cas had still showed no signs of catching up, nor had anyone else appeared on the course. The air inside was surprisingly cool and dry, deliciously refreshing after the oppressive heat, and they flopped down on a little fake-stone bench.
"So, who's winning?" Gabriel asked brightly, and Sam flicked him on the shoulder.
"I don't keep score with dirty angel cheaters," he informed him.
"I am not," Gabriel protested. "I mean -- OK, cheater, yes. And angel. And dir- -- OK, you know what, I'm losing this argument."
Sam laughed. "Well, there's a first for everything."
"Mm," Gabriel agreed. "Like having sex in a cave on a minigolf course in Florida?"
"Was this your motive all along?" Sam asked, starting to laugh again.
"No," Gabe said. "But, hey, opportunity knocks…" He swung his leg over Sam's lap and nibbled at his lip.
"Mm," Sam said, wrapping his hand in his hair. "You do make a convincing argument."
They kissed for a few minutes, but when it began to intensify Sam broke away.
"Dude," he said. "We'll get in so much trouble."
Gabriel stared at him, then burst out laughing.
"What?" Sam said, defensively.
"Sam," he said. He lifted a hand. "You've been killing monsters since you were a kid," he continued, ticking off a finger. "You've died. Repeatedly. You've been to Hell. You've been possessed by Lucifer. You started the fucking apocalypse. And right now you're making out with an archangel, and you're worried about getting caught by a minigolf employee?"
Sam paused, sheepish. "Well, when you put it like that." He kissed back more fervently, and within a few minutes both their jeans were undone, and the sounds coming out getting less subtle.
"Ahem," said a voice a few feet away.
"Go away, Dean," Sam mumbled, dropping his mouth to slide at the angel's neck.
"In case you were unaware," said an unfamiliar voice, and they jerked apart instantly, "this is a children's establishment. As such, we, by law, have security cameras everywhere." The man shook his head. "Thankfully there are no children on site at the moment, but I'll thank you to leave the premises."
There was a mischievous glint in Gabriel's eye, so Sam spoke up hurried, trying to sound appropriately ashamed.
"O-of course, sir. Our apologies."
They abandoned their clubs and scampered down the hill, taking a shortcut over a small stream.
"C'mon, Sammy," Gabriel whined. "I could've just wiped his memory."
Sam rolled his eyes. "If you're going to stick with us, inconspicuous is a word you might want to read up on."
Gabriel, for a wonder, shut his mouth.
"Fair point, he said meekly.
"Ugh, I wonder if Dean and Cas are ever actually going to get done," Sam said as they wandered out, but to his surprise they were sitting on the trunk of the car. "The fuck?" Sam said. "Last time I saw you guys were about to get married on the first green."
Dean rubbed his neck. "Yeah, well, we… kind of got kicked out."
Sam and Gabriel looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"Oh, God," Sam said, wiping his eyes. "Hunting with the Winchesters. Apocalypse? No problem! But minigolf 1, Winchesters 0." He snorted. "So you guys have just been waiting?"
"Well," Dean supplied, and Cas studiously looked at the ground.
Sam glanced between them, now noticing their rumpled clothes, and his eyes flicked to the strange smears on the window glass, and he groaned.
"Dude! We have to sit there, you guys! You couldn’t control yourselves for like ten fucking minutes?"
"Oh, it was more than ten fucking minutes, Sammy," Dean said with a grin, and Cas elbowed him in the ribs. "And you've sat in the kitchen chairs in the motel room already, so. And on the bed. And --"
"Need to know basis, Dean," Sam interrupted loudly, covering his ears.
"Anyway, I didn't see you two playin' through the 18th hole," Dean pointed out, smirking. "So who won?"
"Gabriel, of course," Sam said in exasperated affection. "Gabriel always wins."
"Well, you know," Gabriel said, gesturing at his face with a wink. "Archangel."