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to walk in your boots (and fail climbing walls)

Summary:

I'm sorry, has anyone really expected me not to go with body swap on this prompt? That will

never

happen.
Day 5: Role reversal.

Winston and Symmetra are working on a way to teleport multiple people at once, so in case of a crisis, agents don't have to go in one by one. As usual, the crisis comes much sooner than expected - and the first practical test does not go as planned. Who is even surprised at this point? Now the team in question has to deal with the fallout and some uncomfortable revelations.

...and yes, at this point Symmetra is my main sacrifitial lamb for lousy plot bunnies. Meh, someone had to be

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“Explain.” Hanzo’s tone makes it clear enough this is the one and only chance for them, in case they missed the murderous intent on his face. It was surreal to see that expression on McCree’s face pointed towards anyone friendly and it made Winston trip over his own tongue.

“I- um, we are still in the stage of finding out all the- the details. As we told you before the mission, the device was not properly tested but we deemed it stable enough for a case of emergency.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Which, may I add, came to pass.”

“As you are all here and alive it was clearly a good decision,” Satya huffed, pausing in her work over Winston’s station.

McCree’s - well Hanzo’s - arm shoot up to hold off the archer. “Whoa there, pardner. They’re working on it. Let’s keep them to it, okay?”

“McCree,” Hanzo growled and began to look up just to realize he is the taller one of them now and turned his gaze down. His own face was looking at him with an infuriatingly placating smile on his lips.

“I must agree with Jesse on this,” Angela said pausing at the mechanical, and male , voice the words came out in. “I need to do tests on all of us. Really, we shouldn’t have loose time with a debriefing, this is clearly a medical emergency ergo it takes priority.” Her helmeted head turned to where her body was standing rather rigidly, arms holding as to not to touch her own body, making her look like a bad mannequin. “You should have told me, Genji.”

“I… am sorry, doctor..” Was the stilted answer in her own voice.

“Well, I’m not done with this!” A booming voice made them all flinch, including the speaker herself.

“Hana,” McCree started but the huge German knight whirled at him.

“Don’t even, Hanzo! I mean McCree! Just don’t. Look at me! I’m- old! And a guy!”

“This is most peculiar!” Agreed Reinhardt, his usually greater-than-life voice underwhelming coming from D.Va’s tiny body.

“We just want to know when do ya think we can get back into our own bodies,” McCree asked placatingly the scientist and architech respectively.

Winston scratched his head in thought but it was Satya who answered.

“There is much to be done first. We don’t even know how this came to be. We won’t try to reverse it until we know, we could do more harm than good.”

“Because you did such a great job the first time around,” Hana griped in what should probably be under her breath tone but Reinhardt’s vocal box turning into a sentence of regular loudness.

“Uncalled for,” McCree said reprovingly and to her credit, she winced.

“Yeah, sorry. This is just-“

“Uncomfortable,” Genji filled in, still too rigid to be anything but supremely uncomfortable.

“I know. But I’m inclined to agree with Angela, you should all move to med bay. I promise we will let you know the moment we have any new information.”

So they did. The deflated shuffle walk of individuals not quite sure how their bodies work and too afraid to breaks something. Or someone.

McCree sighed, his right hand still holding onto the serape just to hold Hanzo back just in case. And they thought the mission was bad. Fucking typical.

 

“I see,” Zenyatta said, his head looking from one to the next. “Genji?”

“Here, Master,” Genji replied, Angela’s body raising a hand, barely breaking out of its dejected posture.

“I see,” Zenyatta repeated. “Would it be okay if Genji accompanied me elsewhere, doctor Ziegler?”

“I need to check over everyone first, Zenyatta. And I have some questions for Genji I need to-” she paused, clearly not wanting to say it out loud.

“I understand but maybe I could lend you a hand in that way later?”

“It is okay, master,” Genji sighed. “I do not wish for Angela to be in undue pain because of me.”

“Pain?” Hanzo asked with urgency. “Were you injured on the mission?”

“No, brother.” Without his mask, all of his emotions were clearly written all over Angela’s face. It spoke of sadness. And guilt. “I speak of the pain of being a cyborg. I might have neglected to inform doctor Ziegler about my usual state of being. I’ve learned to ignore it.”

Hanzo looked stricken, then bowed his head, gritting his teeth. The hat was shielding him from most of the room but McCree was standing right next to him and he knew his own face, alright? He knew how he looked when he was fighting tears.

“Anija, please do not-”

“I am sorry,” Hanzo blurted before all but ran out of the infirmary.

“Aniki!”

“Hanzo! We need to check you over!” Angela called after him in Genji’s mechanical voice and McCree internally cursed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring him back,” he said to the room, making his way to the door. “Just, do yer thing and we’ll be back.”

He did not wait for their response and made his way where he knew Hanzo would be. His gait much smoother and faster than what he was used to, also quieter. It felt much easier to move and he silently marveled at Hanzo’s fitness. “Damn ninjas.”

He knew he would find Hanzo on the balcony under the roof where he usually tended to retreat to. There would be no fancy wall climbing in Jesse’s body and boots, though.

So when he opened the door and his gaze fell on the man leaning on the railing with a hand over his eyes he was unsurprised.

He hadn’t said anything as he neared the archer, just took in the shaking shoulders and wet sounding breaths.

It took a while before Hanzo spoke. “You should stop smoking,” was the first thing he said when Jesse was close enough.

“Yeah. Yer not the first one to tell me that.”

“And your endurance is atrocious. My sides never hurt after such a short distance.”

“Hey know, no need to be mean. We can’t all be fitness-freak ninjas.” McCree went with the banter as he closed the remaining distance, standing next to Hanzo, looking down at the monitoring station. Just to give Hanzo some semblance of privacy.

Hanzo scoffed, trying and failing to stop the wetness gather in his eyes.

After a few more moments of whipping the moisture from his face, Hanzo sighed, tone grouchy. “This body cries very easily.”

“Yeah, always did,” Jesse chuckled. “On the flip side I don’t suffer from puffy eyes much, so yer in luck there.” Out of habit, he patted his chest pocket for a cigarillo but of course, there was none. And neither was a pocket. Now that he considered it, he hadn’t really had craving for it. But he wouldn’t say no to a drink.

“Did you know?”

There was no need for clarification. “I knew back in Blackwatch, hoped it changed with time. Guess not.”

Hanzo made a self-deprecating noise and Jesse cringed a little. It was weird to hear himself do it.

“Why would he keep it a secret?”

Jesse tried not to let his face show any pity but he held little hope as Hanzo probably knew his face as good as Jesse knew his.

“Ya know why. Yer brother forgave you and wants you to do the same. He wouldn’t want to add up to the fuckton of guilt you already carry around.”

Hanzo growled. “Do you not think it deserved? He might have survived but the past eleven years of his life were filled with pain. In mind and in body.”

“Han, let it go. If not for you then for him. Genji worked so hard to move past it. Yes, he lives with physical pain but you can’t tell me he’s not happy.”

Hanzo pressed the fingers of Jesse’s flesh hand into his eyes, letting out a long breath.

“I do not think I can. Not yet anyway,” he continued before Jesse could say anything else. “But I will not bring it up with him.”

Jesse guessed that was the best deal he could break right now. He patted Hanzo’s left shoulder. The man’s face contorted.

Oh. Right. Genji wasn’t the only one with constant aches.

“I am telling doctor Ziegler about this.”

“Aw, Han. Come on.”

 

When they got back into the infirmary, Genji, presumably still in Angela’s body, and Zenyatta were gone. The doctor was now checking over Hana who was holding herself very still. Jesse noticed some items scattered on the ground and a tipped over chair.

“Not used to taking this much space, huh?” he asked, sidestepping Reinhard who ironically took as much space as usual despite the smaller packaging.

“It’s the worst! I keep bumping things. And people.” She leaned forward, wincing. “And my back aches. And my joints.”

“Tis the weather, little one. It can’t be helped. But you will find I’m more than fit!”

Hana’s grumbles made Jesse chuckle into his hand. Everyone turned to look at him.

“Oh my god, did you just giggle? I didn’t know Hanzo could do that!”

“Aye, it’s most unexpected.”

Next to him, Hanzo bristled. “I do not giggle .”

Hana laughed. “Maybe you don’t but he does. And right now that makes you the one giggling.”

“It wasn’t a giggle,” Jesse protested but he could already tell it wouldn’t change a thing, so he deflected. “Just focus on your achy joints, firecracker, would you?”

That was enough for Angela to get back to work, her movements little stilted and jerky.

It the end Reinhardt was fine, he was perfectly alright, with the sole exception that the body was not inhabited by him. And it went similarly when Mercy checked Hana’s body as well, passing all the response test with flying colors.

“Alright, who wishes to go next?”

Hanzo stepped forward before McCree could say a single thing. He sat on the bed formerly occupied by Reinhardt and thrust his bent left arm forward.

“Dammit, Hanzo.” McCree couldn’t help himself.

“I said I would inform the doctor and that is what I am doing.”

“Is there something wrong?” Angela crossed her arms, one hip cocked slightly to the side in posture she usually took on when someone was about to be in trouble. It looked strange on Genji, to say the least.

“McCree’s arm causes him constant discomfort. I believe it is not completely usual.”

The doctor hummed. “Can you give me a number on a scale from one to ten?”

Hanzo thought. “Solid four.”

“‘S not that bad!” Jesse protested but neither of them was listening.

“Hmm.” Angela took the arm carefully into her hands, straightening, bending, and twisting it in this or that direction. Hanzo’s face remained stoic but McCree nearly winced himself when she turned the palm away from the body. He knew what Hanzo must be feeling at that moment. The archer obediently described all sensations and Angela nodded, while still prodding at different spots.

“I believe we have the cause. The anchor for the prosthetic arm is pinching a nerve right here,” she pointed at a specific place. “I am afraid we will need to refit it.”

“Goddammit,” McCree murmured. He hated the first fitting and the second one even more. “Do we have to, Ang?”

“Yes, Jesse. If it didn’t go away on its own so far there is little hope it will at all. Either the pain will keep worsening or your arm will go numb and probably weaken considerably. Worst-case scenario, you will lose control over the prosthesis.”

Well, fuck. He sighed, making a grab for his hat, that, of course, wasn't there.

“Alright, fine. When?”

“I can have it ready in a few days, I’ll ask Torbjorn to prioritize it. You should speak to him about any changes you might want.”

“Nope. No changes. I’m used to this one, so make it as close to it as possible.”

Angella nodded, clearly not surprised by his choice. “I will tell him. We will be ready when this thing is reversed.”

“No.” Hanzo jumped in. “There is no reason to wait for us to be in our correct bodies. Tell me when it is ready and we will do it immediately.”

“What in the hells, are you crazy?!” Jesse grabbed his shoulder turning him so they could face each other. “You have no idea what yer sayin’.”

Hanzo scoffed. “Do not treat me as a child, McCree. I know how serious the procedure is but I’m sure doctor Ziegler will agree it is best to fix this situation as soon as possible. Is it not?”

Angela was looking Hanzo but with her face hidden behind the faceplate, Jesse couldn’t tell what she thought about it.

“Are you sure, agent Shimada? We will have to attach a new anchor for the prosthetic arm, I do not have to tell you the nerve re-attachment will be excruciating even with anesthetic and there will be rehabilitation necessary afterward.”

“Angela, no.”

“I understand and I am willing.”

She looked from Hanzo to Jesse, who was putting on his best begging face, and back to Hanzo before nodding. “I will inform Torbjorn there is no need to wait then.”

“I don’t get a fucking say in this? It is still my body! If anyone has to go through that shit it should be me, not Hanzo.”

“It still could be you, Jesse. We do not know how long it will take for Satya and Winston to reverse this. And agent Shimada is right, we cannot wait too long. How long has it been hurting like this, Jesse?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Eight or nine months? I don’t remember.”

“Jesse!”

“It’s not that bad! I just learned to work around it, ‘s all.”

There was a string of muttered German that he didn't really need to speak to understand.

“We are not waiting any longer.” She raised her hand to stop his protests. “You know I can overrule you on this, Jesse.”

Jesse knew. Reyes made damn sure of it. And goddammit he should have taken the time to officially quit back then. He and Genji were probably the only ones with that particular clause in their contracts.

He also knew Angela never acted on it unless it was beyond serious. He rubbed his face with both hands before letting his shoulders slump in defeat.

“Fine. Schedule it as you see fit.”

“Thank you,” she said, there was a palpable warmth in that mechanical voice.

The rest of the examination went by quickly and nearly silently. Hanzo waited for him until he was done as well before saying goodbye to Angela and leaving the infirmary.

They managed to walk for all of sixty feet before Jesse turned on Hanzo, grabbing the serape and pushing his back to the wall.

“What the fuck do you think yer doing, Shimada!” he hissed at the now taller man. Spitting those words into his own face felt cathartic in a way he did not wish to think about.

Hanzo barred his teeth at him. “I am saving your arm!”

“No, yer tryin’ to punish yourself for Genji! And I don't appreciate you using my body to do it!”

Hanzo looked floored before gathering himself again. “Is that so? And this from a man who spent nearly a year in pain and is about to lose an arm because of his own foolish pride!” He pushed Jesse away with a grunt, stabbing a finger into his chest. “Do not presume to know my reasons!”

It felt like a slap, Jesse took a step back, watching as Hanzo’s chest heaved with anger hard enough he could see it even with the chest plate. When the archer turned and stalked away, leaving him to stand in the hallway, Jesse was still replaying Hanzo’s last words in his head.

Then he let out string of curses Hanzo’s mouth probably never before formed.

 

The knock on the door was soft and Genji contemplated ignoring it. He felt tired. Exhausted even.

He spent several hours with Zenyatta talking and thinking and feeling. And all we wished to do now was to shut down for a while. Or sleep. As he was not a cyborg at the moment and there was no forcing it.

He turned over on the bed just to discover he had to scoot a little to even reach the edge. One of many disorienting things about being in the body of a rather lithe human woman.

“Genji.”

McCree?

Genji frowned. The voice was soft but in a completely wrong way. Then he remembered.

Rising and opening the door was almost an automatic move. Hanzo did not seek him out often and Genji cherished those few occasions he did so. He did not wish for Hanzo to feel like he wasn’t welcomed now, after learning the unfortunate detail of Genji’s continuous existence.

Needless to say, it was bizarre to have to look up at him as McCree was much taller than Angela. He got used to being the taller brother now, it was his little joy.

“Aniki. How are you?”

The flash of pain was something he was not unused to see on Jesse’s face but it has been a while since there was a reason for it to happen in front of Genji. But now the knowledge of workings of McCree’s face was his boon as Hanzo seemed to lack the poker face he had in his own body.

“I wished to ask you that.”

Genji gestured for him to step into the room and let the door close behind them. There wasn’t much in a way of seating in his room. He lacked the desire for comfort as his body’s senses were limited in that and many other ways. But they used his bed as a makeshift couch before, they could do it now as well.

“Would you like to sit?”

Hanzo nodded, making his way across the rather narrow space; he avoided the weapon rack with Genji’s swords but his foot caught at one of the feet of the bed, making him stumble and drop down hard on the mattress, making it squeak.

Genji snorted. It came out much higher than he was used to and his brother shot him a look, eyebrows arched.  

That was fair. There was more than enough ammunition for both of them here.

“I take it McCree’s body is not treating you kindly?”

Hanzo scoffed. “He’s a stubborn fool, I am unsurprised his body is as well.”

“Harsh, brother. Did something happened?” Genji asked as he dropped on the bed; it did not make a sound, not even a decent bounce. How disappointing.

Hanzo scowled. “I do not wish to discuss McCree.”

Genji stared at him contemplatively, deciding if he should let it go or push. But maybe now wasn’t the best time for that. “Alright.”

“How are you feeling? Did doctor Ziegler said everything is good with you as well? Or as good as it can be at least?”

Genji smiled at Hanzo, forgetting he had no faceplate to hide it behind. His brother blinked several times, before looking down and scoffing as his face grew a shade darker.

“I am well, Hanzo. It was a shock, I will not lie about that. But mostly I was afraid I would hurt Angela’s body by accident. Next to my cyborg body, hers is quite fragile. It will take me some time to acclimatize, as Master put it. As I did after getting my new body.”

Hanzo nodded. “Understandable. If you will accept my advice, do not try to climb any walls.”

Genji blinked. Hanzo was staring back at him. They both started to laugh at the same time.

“You did not-” Genji wheezed.

“I wish I did not. I nearly toppled over the railing.”

That set up Genji all over again. His brother, who had the uncanny ability to climb any smooth surface by the age of seven, couldn’t do it with a pair of cowboy boots on.

“I would pay money to see that.”

Hanzo chuckled. “You may try and ask Athena, maybe she will be willing to part with the security footage for a favor or two.”

“I may just do that.”

He leaned back into the wall, sighing contentedly. “This is nice.”

“Mhm.”

“I must say I’m surprised, I expected you to… react in some way to Angela’s revelation. I thought that was why you have come.”

The quick intake of breath whistled a little between Hanzo’s lips. But to Genji’s surprise, there was nothing more.

“Do you not have questions, anija?”

“None that I think I need the answers to. I believe I understand your reasons for keeping it secret and I won’t pry. If you choose to speak to me about it in the future, I will listen.”

“How unexpectedly mature of you,” Genji quipped and Hanzo’s elbow connected with his upper arm.

“Shut up.”

Genji chuckled. “So what brought on this world-shattering epiphany? Or should I ask who?”

Hanzo shot him a dark look. “I told you I do not wish to speak about him.”

“So it was him.”

“Genji…”

“I simply wish to know if I should go knock him around a bit.”

Hanzo snorted. “In that body? Also, you would only bruise my own body. Best not.”

Genji sighed dramatically, stretching his legs. It felts extremely satisfying and it made him smile again. “I guess that’s true. But I could at least bitch at him a little, doctor Ziegler has a magnificent voice when it comes to yelling.”

“Personal experience?” Hanzo smirked.

“Maybe.” Genji finally decided to give up and simply plastered himself to Hanzo’s side. It wasn’t quite right but it hardly mattered.

“What are you doing?”

McCree’s put-upon tone had nothing on Hanzo’s, Genji chuckled. “Clearly, I am snuggling the resident cowboy because you are too chickenshit to do it yourself.”

He fully expected to be punched for that one, realizing too late it wouldn’t just bounce from his metal plates. Luckily, his brother was aware enough to slow his hand down before it connected. It still stung.

“You are not funny.”

“Lies.” Genji grabbed the hand and pulled himself closer with it, now putting his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. It was supremely uncomfortable but he could hold it for a little while.

“But seriously, are you okay, aniki?”

Hanzo sighed but leaned back enough so Genji could fit under his arm instead. It was a weird position but at least it was more comfortable. “I feel strange. I forgot how it feels without them constantly poking at my mind.”

A wave of goosebumps went over Genji; yet another sensation he hadn’t felt in a decade. “I know what you mean. I do hope they will stay put without us there to draw them out. But at least the good doctor knows Ramen. And Ramen likes her, so she shouldn’t cause any problems.”

Hanzo went very still under him. “Oh. Oh no.

 

Jesse felt worse before. Really, he did. Much worse even. But that hardly helped at the moment.

He spent an hour pacing around the compound, Hanzo’s body brimming with restless energy. Nothing like the slow humming undercurrent of his own he was used to. How was the archer always looking and acting so calm and collected was beyond him. The urge to run, climb, and throw punches all at once was making him supremely agitated.

In the end, he made his way to his room, punched in the code, and headed straight for the bed and the stock of bourbon under it.

Some indeterminable span of time later and more than half a bottle in, the agitation turned into a sulk. Not much better but at least he didn’t felt like he needed to go run a marathon anymore.

Jesse was aware he fucked up.

Badly.

He shouldn’t have said those things. He and Hanzo had a rocky start, mostly on account of Jesse’s long friendship with Genji and the somewhat aloof nature of the Shimada heir. But they got over it. And as they were passing it they discovered many common interests. And even better, a similar sense of humor. After that their relationship skyrocketed and soon reached a friendship Jesse would never expect. Nowadays they barely spent any free time without each other in some way. Even if they were far, or occupied by something, they tended to send each other messages, pictures or quips at the expense of those they were physically sharing space with. And somewhere in the middle of that, they entrusted some of their secrets to each other. Shards of unsavory pasts, mistakes that haunted their steps and dreams. Regrets.

Jesse hadn’t even noticed when he started to trace the outline of the dragon tattoo on Hanzo’s arm. It was such an intricate piece of art. Hanzo once told him that unlike regular tattoos this one did not fade and it stayed as sharp as it was the first day it was put on his skin.

‘Magic.’ Hanzo grinned at him that evening, taking a sip from his gourd before letting Jesse have one as well.

Jesse was confident this blunder wasn’t about to ruin what they have, their foundations were built much more solidly for a fight like this to shake them. But that did not mean he didn't feel like shit about it. He hated fighting with Hanzo. Real fighting. Not the banter, or quips, or shots they took at each other on regular basis. That was fun, they both knew it.

“Shouldn’t have brought Genji into it. ‘M such an idiot,” he murmured into his palms as he rubbed at his face.

True .

His eyes flew wide open and he dropped his hands.

“What.”

Sssstupid, cowboy.

The bright blue glow was as familiar as it was unexpected. He could feel the tingling under his skin turning into prickling and then burning as the glow intensified and morphed from tendrils into two thin, long forms floating in the air above him.

“Howdy?”

Why are you here?

He isss not here.

Where issss he?

What did you do with massster?

To say the dragons were aggravated was a gross understatement and Jesse suddenly felt a nibble of fear.

They were hissing over each other, twisting in the air and to his horror, growing.

“I’m sorry. I know this must feel wrong to you, guys. We got switched but they are working on getting us back in order, I swear!”

We can hear you.

You have hurt him.

We ssshould eat you.

“Oh god.” Pinned in his own bed under the coiling bodies of ancient spirits he saw wreak more havoc in battle than most bombs can, Jesse felt terror like scarce ever before.

He isss not here-

We could devour you whole.

-to ssstop usss.

“B- but it’s Hanzo’s body!” A new sort of horror poured over him as the thought of Hanzo losing his body got to him. Would he survive that? Would it kill them both? What if this wasn’t permanent and when they switched back, Hanzo would have nowhere to go and just disappeared?

We can sssave the body.

We can only take your sssoul.

That was somewhat relieving. Just a little. But he was still scared shitless. He barely noticed the sound of door opening and voices shouting.

Massster!

We can feel him!

He isss here!

“Udon! Soba! Stop this immediately!”

Jesse watched the spirits float over to where Hanzo was standing in Jesse’s body, the dragons swirling around him, poking their noses with trembling whiskers into his sides, and neck, and tugging at his clothes.

Hanzo was talking in fast Japanese, his voice stern and angry sounding.

Jesse flinched as someone touched him; Angela immediately pulling back, hands up in a placating gesture.

“It is only me. Are you well, Jesse?”

Oh. right. Not Angela. Genji. He let his eyes fall shut and head drop back on the pillow.

“Not gonna lie. I’ve been better.”

“Did they hurt you?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Not really. Scared me shitless though. They are not happy with me. Not one bit.” He peered from under his lashes at Hanzo, who was now holding the dragons who solidified around him, like two glowing blue anacondas. He was looking at Jesse with a forcibly neutral expression. “Can’t say I blame them.”

Genji let out a relieved breath, turning to his brother. “Anija?”

“They are calming down now. But I do not understand what drew them out in the first place.”

Jesse blinked, then groaned. “‘S my fault I think. Was touching the tattoo. Thinking about you.”

Next to him, Genji choked.

“Fer fuck’s sake not like that! Just, I don’t know, tracing it. Hadn’t even noticed at first.”

“Ah.” Was all Hanzo said.

The silence in the room was getting a bit awkward when Hanzo sighed and asked his brother: “Genji, could you give us a moment?”

“Sure, aniki!” Genji said happily, before turning to Jesse, murmuring: “Don’t fuck it up or I’ll fuck you up.” In that tone Angela only ever used on runaway patients who had the audacity to bring cigarillos and whiskey back to the med bay. He gulped.

Hanzo must have caught it because he rolled his eyes at his brother as he passed by.

Then he turned to Jesse, who was still lying on the bed. The dragons lifted their heads from Hanzo’s shoulders, watching Jesse intently.

“They won’t hurt you.”

“Mmhm.”

“They are under strict order not to.”

“As I said, I wouldn’t blame them. They got right to be pissed.” You got right to be pissed , was what Jesse meant to say. But Hanzo seemed to hear it anyway.

He let out a breath, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, careful not to actually sit on one of the coils around him.

“I-”

“I’m sorry!” Jesse blurted, suddenly afraid Hanzo would try and apologize to him instead. Hanzo huffed, a small smile curling his lips.

“I know you regret your words, Jesse. Just as I regret mine. But what I meant to say is that I’ve been thinking, and your words weren’t completely baseless. My decision was influenced by my guilt. But”- he raised a hand as Jesse opened his mouth to speak. “But it was only a small part of it. This is a serious issue and I would not have you risk your arm for my comfort.”

“Han, this is more than just about comfort. There’s a reason I haven’t said anything for so long. That surgery? I still have nightmares ‘bout the first one. Yes, they’ll give ya anesthetics but not enough, they need you to be awake and feel for their readings to be worth a damn.”

Hanzo nodded. “I am aware.”

Jesse was now focusing solely on Hanzo’s eyes.

He looked into this pair of eyes nearly every day of his life; he knew every speck of gold and green that appeared in them over the years, searching in them as often as he did for the answers he needed at times. But never once they looked like this. Like they are not his at all.

“Please, Jesse. I might be unable to keep Genji from pain but I can do it for you .”

He nodded, defeated. “If yer sure then.”

“I am. I would see you happy and healthy when we get to back to our own bodies. Our competition will be much more interesting without a handicap on your side.”

Jesse let out an indignant squawk. “Oh yer just full of yourself, ain'tcha, Shimada?”

Hanzo arched an eyebrow at him. “I believe you are the one who is full of myself at the moment.”

The groan was heartfelt, and it was only because of Hanzo was still intertwined with his dragons that Jesse didn’t chuck a pillow at him.

The archer was still chuckling at his own god-awful joke when Jesse spoke again.

“Hey, Han?”

“Yes?”

“Thank ya.”

Hanzo smiled at him. “You are welcome. But there is no need for thanks, now or later.”

“I mean, fer always having ma back.” He reached towards the archer’s hands just to stop himself a foot away. He did not fully expect the man to close the distance and intertwine their fingers. Knuckles brushing against knuckles, warm skin against his colder one. Hanzo’s fingers are always cold , Jesse thought. I guess I’ll always have to be there to warm them up.

The thought came out of nowhere, yet it felt like it was always there. Flickering in the back of his mind.

Well, damn.

“Hey Han?” he asked again. The archer humming, thumb brushing over Jesse’s index finger. “When we have our bodies back, wouldya like to grab some tea and cake with me?”

The finger stilled for a second, two, three; then it started to move again. There was a softness to his voice Jesse never heard in all his days.

“I would like that very much.”