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Ryuji was the kind of person who was constantly being loud. At times, his bluntness and dense personality could even be a little… Complicated to deal with, especially for someone like Yusuke, who wasn’t the most well-versed person when it came to socializing.
If he had to be honest, Yusuke would consider him the Phantom Thief he had the most trouble understanding, or even getting close to. To him, they seemed like oil and water, with little to nothing in common, and, if it wasn’t for the situation, they’d probably never consider talking to each other — hell, maybe not even looking at each other’s direction.
It didn’t mean, however, that Yusuke disliked Ryuji. Quite the contrary, in fact: he appreciated Ryuji’s attempts to make him feel accepted into the group, how determined he had been about freeing him from Madarame’s abuse, and how he always worried about even the minor of his injuries. But those things, of course, weren’t exclusive to Yusuke. Ryuji was simply that attentive and kind by nature, despite his rude manners and temper. He just couldn’t see a person suffering in silence without doing something to help.
So, when Yusuke met him outside the Leblanc in that afternoon, leaning against the wall with a distant gaze, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react. Thankfully, Ryuji soon noticed his presence, looking at him with puzzled eyes.
“Why are you here?” he asked.
“I sometimes come to clear my mind,” answered Yusuke. “And you?”
Ryuji averted his gaze.
“I don’t know,” he admitted in a low voice. “I just realized I was here when I looked at the sign at the door.”
He pressed his lips together, lightly kicking the ground with the tip of his sneakers. Yusuke simply observed him for a moment.
“Aren’t you going in?” he asked.
“Why?” said Ryuji, without looking at Yusuke. “He’s not there, is he?”
Even without further clarification, Yusuke knew what he meant. Since he first met them, Ryuji and Akira had been inseparable, so, if Yusuke missed his friend and former leader, Ryuji certainly felt the same way — or worse.
“I guess he isn’t,” he answered.
There was a moment of hesitant silence, before Ryuji sighed, frustrated.
“This is so unfair!”
That loud tone surprised Yusuke. Ryuji turned to face him, gesticulating as he kept talking.
“I told him to count on me! I asked him not to do things by himself again, but…” He gritted his teeth, punching the wall with the side of his fist. “Dammit!”
Ryuji closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, then shook his head, leaning against the wall again.
“My bad,” he said, “just kinda had to put it out somehow.”
“It’s not a problem.”
He looked at Yusuke, opening his mouth, only to close it again a second later. He hesitated for a while, and Yusuke wasn’t sure if he was supposed to stay there or simply give him some space and enter the Leblanc.
“Hey…” said Ryuji, finally. “This might sound weird, but wanna go somewhere else?”
Yusuke would be lying if he said he was expecting to do anything but take a seat at Leblanc, and spend the rest of the day drinking Sojiro’s coffee and sketching the other customers. However, such an act was still a distraction from everything that had happened so recently, and, with that in mind, spending some time with Ryuji would serve the same purpose.
“Why not?” he said. “I should just warn you that I don’t have much money to spend.”
A small chuckle left Ryuji’s lips.
“Why am I not surprised?” he shrugged. “No worries, I’m the one who invited, anyway.”
Yusuke nodded, then followed Ryuji to the train station. Before they reached any of the platforms, however, Ryuji stopped walking, looking at him.
“So…” he said. “Where to?”
“I thought you had a place in mind.”
“Well, not really…”
Yusuke pondered for a moment.
“I know of a pleasant place, if you don’t mind the trip,” he said.
Ryuji offered him a light smile.
“Lead the way, then.”
Yusuke did as he said, guiding Ryuji to the Planetarium he once had visited with Akira. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he expected Ryuji to have, but it ended up being closer to confusion than anything else.
“Well… Not really what I was expecting,” said Ryuji.
“Would you rather change locations?”
“Nah…” he shrugged. “This is fine. Let’s go!”
They entered that place, taking their seats, and in no time Ryuji’s face was taken by clear amusement.
“This actually looks quite nice,” he admitted.
Yusuke nodded, proud of his choice of location.
“Akira was the one who brought me here the first time,” he said.
Those words seemed to grab Ryuji’s attention.
“Really?” A light smile appeared on his lips. “Should’ve expected… The guy has little glowing stars on his ceiling.”
“I gave him those.”
Ryuji stared at him, then let out a brief, amused laugh.
“I didn’t know!” he said. “Damn, he fuckin’ loves those stars… First time I spent the night there, after he put them on, he kept sayin’ it was his personal sky, or somethin’ like that. Sounded like a damn child…”
Ryuji stopped talking, and his smile slowly faded. He lowered his eyes, staring at the floor for a while, before burying his face in both hands. Yusuke watched as he cried silently, his shoulders shaking with each sob. He didn’t really know what to do in such a situation, so he stayed silent, looking at the projections around them, half of his attention still on the boy beside him.
When it ended, Ryuji had already managed to calm down a little, acting like everything was fine, only his reddened eyes being proof of what had actually happened. As they walked outside, an idea crossed Yusuke’s mind. He glanced at his thin wallet, concluding that it should be enough.
“Just a moment,” he said.
He went inside, coming back with a small paper package in his hand. Ryuji watched him approach, his face becoming even more puzzled when Yusuke offered the package to him.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking inside.
“Stars.”
Yusuke’s answer coincided with the moment Ryuji took the stickers out of the package. He looked at them for a moment, chuckling before facing Yusuke.
“Do you have some habit of givin’ glowing stickers to people?” he asked.
“Not quite,” answered Yusuke. “I just hoped it would help with cheering you up.”
He didn’t expect Ryuji to be surprised by his answer, but that was still his reaction. His expression slowly changed: he was still smiling, but now it seemed less “bright” and — at least in Yusuke’s eyes — more honest.
“Thanks,” he said.
Ryuji looked at that simple gift again. His reaction was way different — and quieter — from Akira’s, which had basically been shouting “glowing stars!” with a wide, happy smile on his face, but Yusuke had a similar feeling of accomplishment in his chest. The moment soon ended, however, when Ryuji turned to him, furrowing his brow.
“Wait…” he said. “Do you still have enough money to go back?”
“I do.”
“And to eat, and stuff?”
“Probably.”
“Probably…?”
Ryuji stared at him in disbelief, then sighed, covering his eyes with his hand.
“C’mon…” he said. “I’ll buy you somethin’ on the way back. Consider it a thanks for the gift.
Yusuke wasn’t the kind to refuse free food, so he followed Ryuji to that ramen restaurant, which proved to have been a good decision as soon as he tasted it.
“Tastes amazing, doesn’t it?” asked Ryuji, smiling in anticipation.
“Indeed.”
They spent some time eating together, sometimes chatting, but mostly in silence. It didn’t feel awkward, though… At least for Yusuke, those few minutes were calming, and put his usually relentless mind into rest.
They left the restaurant, walking back to the train station, making together the way back until their paths separated. Ryuji still followed Yusuke to his platform, waiting for his train with him. Yusuke didn’t question him why, but still found such gesture a bit curious.
“It was a pleasant distraction,” said Yusuke.
“Yeah…” agreed Ryuji. “Y’know, I wasn’t really expecting to spend the day with you, from all people.”
He quickly raised his hand, offering Yusuke an awkward smile.
“No offense,” he added, lowering his voice, “I just thought we didn’t have much in common.”
“I can agree with that.”
Ryuji nodded, looking at the floor for a moment, before turning his attention back to Yusuke.
“Well,” he said, “but we do have something now, right?”
Yusuke looked at him in slight confusion, not sure of what he had meant with that. Ryuji didn’t seem surprised by it, and opened a wide, bright smile.
“Stars, dude!” he said. “And I’ll think of you whenever I look at them!”
For a moment, Yusuke could do nothing but look at him, wishing he could engrave that image in his memory, so he could turn it into a painting later.
“I see,” he finally answered.
Before he could say anything else, the sound of the train approaching distracted Ryuji from that exchange.
“Ah, that’s your train,” he said, getting up from the bench. “Alright… See you later!”
Yusuke nodded, entering the train. He looked outside through the window, seeing Ryuji still there. Noticing his gaze, he waved at him, and Yusuke discreetly mimicked the gesture. The train soon departed, and Ryuji disappeared from his sight.
At that moment, he had a faint feeling that he didn’t want to go back just yet. But he ignored it, taking a deep breath, watching as the scenery outside slowly passed by him.
But his thoughts were still in that planetarium, and that restaurant, and that platform. It sounded strange even in his own head, but — somehow — he felt like he had just seen Ryuji for the first time that day. He knew nothing was different about him, and that it was probably just a silly thought. Still…
“Beautiful…” he muttered to himself, a soft, subtle smile taking his lips.
It was a strange feeling, indeed.
He expected that afternoon to be the last of its kind, but on the following day, when his steps led him back to the Leblanc, he found Ryuji there, at that same place. This time, he didn’t seem too surprised to see him there.
“Hey, dude,” he greeted Yusuke with a smile.
Yusuke answered with a nod, approaching him.
“Planning to go inside this time?” he asked.
“Nah,” answered Ryuji with a shrug. “Actually, was kinda hoping to see you here.”
Before Yusuke had the time to think about those words, Ryuji proceeded.
“I put the stars on my ceiling yesterday. My mom helped me…” He twisted his lips, briefly averting his gaze. “Well, she kinda laughed at first, but thought they looked cute when we finished.”
“Did you like them?”
“Yeah, they look nice.” Saying that, he took his phone out of his pocket, searching it for a second. “Here, look.”
He showed Yusuke a dark picture, with a few small, hazy points of light scattered through it.
“I know it’s kinda blurry, but… You can have an idea.”
“Yes.”
Ryuji grinned as he placed the phone back in his pocket.
“Next time, I’ll buy you something too,” he said.
Yusuke looked at him, a little surprised at his words. Ryuji probably noticed it, considering how he furrowed his brow.
“C’mon… I can give gifts too,” he said.
Actually, Yusuke was more surprised at that casual implication that there would be a next time. He didn’t, however, question Ryuji about the subject.
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he said.
Ryuji answered with a wide smile, giving Yusuke a light pat on the back. That would probably be a good moment to part ways, however…
“Are you planning to go somewhere?” asked Yusuke, before he could stop himself.
“Not really,” said Ryuji with a shrug. “You?”
“Other than spending time in the Leblanc, no.”
“Great! Let’s go somewhere, then.”
As soon as Yusuke agreed to it, they heard a familiar voice greeting them. It was Futaba, who was also on her way to the station, planning to go to Akihabara in a “solo mission”, according to herself. The three of them ended up going together. There, they made a stop at the arcade, where she invited Yusuke to play a shooting game with her. Yusuke wasn’t too used to visiting places like that, but — at least in his opinion — he got the gist of the game quickly. It was still a little difficult to accompany someone like Futaba, but he had fun anyway.
“How’s it going?” he heard Ryuji’s voice close to him.
“Inari isn’t as bad as I thought,” said Futaba. “But still has a lot to learn… Maybe I should take him as my apprentice.”
“Just don’t turn him into another tech gremlin, okay?”
Futaba aimed a kick at Ryuji’s shin, without looking away from the screen. It took them just another few minutes to finish the game, in great part thanks to Futaba, who seemed to know all the scripted events from the top of her head.
“Nice work!” said Ryuji to Yusuke, resting an arm on his shoulder. “Here, for keeping up with the gremlin.”
Ryuji offered a small, white thing to Yusuke, who took it in his hands. Giving it a better look, he realized it was a Jack Frost plushie.
“It took me a few tries in that crane machine, but I managed to get it,” he said. “Whaddya think?”
Yusuke looked at the smiling plushie, and couldn’t help but do the same.
“It’s quite endearing,” he said.
“Isn’t it?” agreed Ryuji. “If you didn’t want it, I’d take it for myself. But I’m glad you liked it.”
“And what about me?” complained Futaba, pocking the side of Ryuji’s body. “Don’t I get one too?”
“No way…” Ryuji sighed. “You’re always making me buy snacks for you already.”
Futaba protested for a while, but both of them forgot the subject as soon as they left the arcade and decided to go eat something. They spent the rest of the day together, until it started to get late, and they decided to part ways.
When Yusuke got back to his dormitory, he placed the plushie on his bed, looking at it for a while, being taken by a subtle, warm feeling of fondness. Did Ryuji feel like that too, when Yusuke gave him those stickers?
He surely hoped so.
The next time they went out together, Ryuji sent him a message the night before.
Ryuji: u free tomorrow?
Ryuji: lets meet in shibuya
And it continued just like that, with the two of them meeting without a plan in mind, choosing somewhere to visit at the last minute. Everywhere, anywhere… Most times, the same old places. As the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, being with Ryuji — much like painting — became part of his routine, and, before he knew it, he started to anticipate those messages every evening.
Looking back, he found it surprising he hadn’t realized before that he was in love. During all that time, he still thought of Ryuji as a close friend. As a person he cared about, and who also cared for him in return. The one who, as soon as he noticed his tendencies to neglect his own health, made a habit of messaging him every night to make sure he was taking care of himself. The one who, despite knowing close to nothing about art, still heard his endless ramblings with his whole attention. The one who was always on his mind. The one who was above anything else in his heart.
Surprisingly, what made him realize his own feelings was a call from Makoto, informing him that she heard from her sister that Akira would be released from prison in just a few days.
As soon as he heard the news, he felt a burst of excitement inside his chest. As the minutes passed, however, the worries started to crawl into his mind. Of course he was happy for his friend, but… there was also a part deep inside him that couldn’t help but feel restless at how Akira’s return would change things between Ryuji and himself.
Even in his absence, Akira was everywhere in Ryuji’s life — and the contrary was probably true, as well. Both of them were deeply intertwined, connected by an endless web of events, feelings, and trust, to the point you barely could think of one without also remembering the other. And, when Yusuke thought about it, a bitter feeling embraced him: Akira Kurusu and Ryuji Sakamoto, the two persons who he came to cherish above anything else in that last year, shared an unbreakable, beautiful bond. But… What about Yusuke himself? Was there even a place for him between those two?
He didn’t realize that was something that bothered him until the first time he visited Ryuji’s house, and saw those little glowing stars on his ceiling. He expected to feel happy, but, instead, his chest tightened. In the end, he felt like he had just given Ryuji and Akira one more thing in common, one more small connection, pushing himself aside even further in the process.
Yusuke tried to bury those thoughts away, but it soon proved to be useless. They kept tormenting him until he was already in bed, shifting restlessly from one side to the other. Before he knew it, he already had his phone in his hands, typing a message to Ryuji.
Yusuke: There is a place I want to visit.
Yusuke: Would you mind accompanying me?
Despite the late hour, it didn’t take long for him to answer.
Ryuji: sure
Ryuji: where?
Yusuke took a deep breath. It was true that he had plans to go there at some point, but lying so openly about his reasons made him feel a little guilty.
Yusuke: The Ferris wheel.
Yusuke: I imagine the view from up there should be magnificent.
It took Ryuji a while to answer, and Yusuke noticed that he started and stopped typing his message a few times before finally sending it.
Ryuji: ok
Ryuji: meet u at the station tomorrow
Ryuji: sleep well art nerd
Yusuke placed his phone beside his pillow, close to his Jack Frost plushie. As Ryuji had said about his glowing stickers, Yusuke couldn’t help but think of him whenever he looked at it. He closed his eyes, unable to sleep for a while. Without thinking much, he reached for that toy, holding it close to his chest.
It was comforting…
He let out his breath, relaxing, telling himself he was exaggerating. It was Ryuji, after all… He wouldn’t simply disappear from his life.
At some point, without realizing, Yusuke fell asleep.
The train ride was quieter than usual, and he was much probably the one to blame. Ryuji tried to start a conversation more than once, but it always died after a short while, so he soon stopped trying, being silent as well.
They got out of the train, walking for a few minutes until they reached their objective, joining the small line to the Ferris wheel.
“I was kinda surprised when you said you wanted to come here,” admitted Ryuji after a few more minutes of silence. “Y’know… Since this place is filled with couples and all that.”
“Indeed,” agreed Yusuke, only then stopping to think about it. “Does it bother you?”
“Nah, it’s fine,” Ryuji shrugged with a light smile. “Just kinda embarrassing, I think.”
Before Yusuke could think of an answer, he felt Ryuji’s hand closing around his wrist, pulling him forward.
“Come,” said Ryuji, “it’s our turn.”
They sat across from each other, and soon the Ferris wheel started to move. Yusuke almost regretted his choice of place, since now that they were locked together in a small cart, getting farther and farther from the ground, the awkward silence only seemed more intense. Yusuke took his sketchbook out of his bag, so he would at least have an excuse for his silence.
“You’re almost outta pages,” observed Ryuji.
Yusuke raised his eyes to him, needing a moment to understand he was talking about his sketchbook.
“Yes,” he agreed. “I go through these in no time at all.”
“We should buy you a new one on the way back.”
“There’s no need, I still have a feel unused ones.”
“Hm…”
Ryuji watched him for a while, and it made concentrating in his sketches quite a difficult task.
“Yusuke,” Ryuji called him in a low, concerned voice. “Is something wrong? You’re acting kinda weird today.”
Yusuke felt his stomach turn at that question.
“Not really,” he said.
“You sure?” insisted Ryuji. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
Yusuke nodded, turning his eyes to the scenery outside, once again feeling guilty about how he was — or wasn’t — dealing with the situation.
“Oh, shit…” Ryuji’s distressed voice called his attention again. “Did you just discover that you’re afraid of heights?”
Yusuke stared at his friend. It was quite clear that Ryuji knew that wasn’t the case, and was just trying to cheer him up in some way. Such thought made a low chuckle leave his lips.
“It would be quite a problem, if I did,” he said.
“Yeah… Since jumping outta here isn’t an option at this height, we’d have to come up with somethin’ else.”
“Like what?”
“I didn’t think that far ahead,” admitted Ryuji. “Maybe I could… I don’t know, hold your hand?”
Yusuke’s mind froze for a second, and Ryuji’s light, playful smile soon started to fade, giving place to an embarrassed expression.
“I mean—” he started to say.
“That seems—” Yusuke accidentally interrupted him.
For a second, they both simply looked at each other. Ryuji was the first to avert his gaze. He opened his mouth to say something, but, before he could, Yusuke gathered his courage.
“That seems helpful,” he said.
Ryuji faced him again. He did nothing for a moment that seemed way too long, then, after some hesitation, offered his hand to Yusuke, who placed his own over it, both their fingers curling, locking them together. Yusuke risked looking at Ryuji’s face, but his friend’s eyes were on their joined hands. For a moment, neither of them said anything.
“We kinda look like a couple right now, don’t we?” asked Ryuji in a low voice.
“I suppose.”
He answered without giving it too much thought, but his words made Ryuji chuckle.
“C’mon, dude…” he said. “You weren’t supposed to agree like that. Just… I don’t know, laugh, or call me stupid, or I’ll end up getting the wrong idea.”
“Oh, I see. My apologies.”
Yusuke wasn’t sure what he had said wrong, but Ryuji’s smile faded a little, and he slowly let go of Yusuke’s hand.
“Well… Not like it matters, anyway,” he said.
Before Yusuke could find an answer, Ryuji turned his attention to the scenery outside.
“Damn, we’re so high!” he said with a slightly forced enthusiasm. “Akira would be freakin’ out if he was here.”
Ryuji’s words caused a sharp pain in Yusuke’s chest. In a second, his mind was taken by the image of Ryuji there, sitting beside Akira, holding his hand to calm him down.
“I guess he would.”
They were silent again after that. The Ferris wheel seemed to move at an impossibly slow pace, and Yusuke saw himself growing more impatient each second.
“Aren’t you gonna draw?”
Ryuji’s voice called his attention again, and a small, tired smile took his lips.
“I think I’d rather just appreciate the view for now,” he said.
“Yeah… Guess it’d feel like a waste to look away,” agreed Ryuji. “I never rode a Ferris wheel before, y’know? I always felt kinda curious about it, but I didn’t have anyone to come with me.”
“We’re different in that aspect,” observed Yusuke. “I usually go alone to the places that I want to visit, since few people share my interests.”
Ryuji observed him for a while, seeming lost in thought.
“Living alone, and doing everythin’ by yourself…” he said. “Don’t you feel lonely?”
“I’m used to it,” answered Yusuke. “Even when I still lived with Madarame, I was mostly on my own.”
“Shit, dude…”
“I don’t really mind it, though,” he showed a light smile. “Being alone is quite pleasant when you want to be productive.”
Again, he wasn’t sure of the reason, but Ryuji seemed almost hurt by his words, lowering his eyes.
“Hey…” his voice was almost a mutter. “Am I annoying you?”
The question caught Yusuke by surprise.
“Why do you ask?”
Ryuji shifted in the same place, seeming a little uncomfortable.
“I mean…” he said, avoiding Yusuke’s gaze. “I’m always going after you, and kinda draggin’ you everywhere with me… I never thought I was stopping you from being productive, ‘n all that. I just wanted to be with you.”
Those last words made Yusuke feel almost ecstatic: he knew Ryuji wanted to be with him, but hearing it from his lips was something else entirely.
“Not in the least,” he said. “To put it shortly, the time I spend with you can be quite inspiring on itself.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” Yusuke showed a light smile. “You’re constantly stimulating me with new experiences.”
Ryuji blinked, surprised, and suddenly his face acquired a bright shade of pink.
“Okay…” he said with an embarrassed laugh. “That’s good to hear, but… You really should work on your phrasing.”
Yusuke furrowed his brow.
“Is something wrong with how I speak?” he asked.
“No. I mean, you’re kinda formal for a guy your age, but…”
Ryuji made a pause, looking at Yusuke for a moment before shaking his head, a fond smile on his face.
“Nah, man… You’re good.”
Saying that, he got up from his seat, sitting closer to Yusuke.
“You’re a peculiar one,” observed Yusuke.
“Can’t believe I’m hearing it from you.”
The mood seemed lighter again. However, Yusuke’s mind was still filled with those same concerns that had been pestering him the whole day. He knew that, if it continued like that, things would just keep repeating themselves, and, in that rhythm, he would be the one pushing Ryuji away from him. So, before it could happen, he decided to speak.
“Ryuji…”
“Hm?”
The words seemed to freeze in his throat, and he had to take a deep breath before proceeding.
“Since Akira is coming back, what will happen to us?”
That question alone was enough to make his chest hurt, and he soon regretted his words. Now, however, was too late to take them back.
“Whaddya mean?” asked Ryuji.
“Will this be over?”
To him, what he meant was clear as day, but Ryuji still looked at him with confusion in his eyes.
“I don’t get it…” he said. “What’ll be over?”
“Everything!”
Yusuke’s voice sounded much louder than he wanted, and seeing Ryuji’s surprised reaction made him feel terrible. He lowered his eyes, needing to make an effort not to start crying.
“Hey…” Ryuji leaned in his direction, clearly concerned. “Are you okay?”
Yusuke nodded, taking some deep breaths to calm himself.
“My apologies,” he said.
“C’mon… I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.”
Ryuji’s soft, caring voice only seemed to make everything worse.
“I just… Saw myself enjoying being your friend,” he said. “To think I might lose it, I—”
“Wait…” Ryuji interrupted him. “Why would you lose it?”
Yusuke didn’t answer, his eyes still on the floor. Ryuji was, again, the one to break the silence.
“You think that, just ‘cause Akira’s back, I’ll stop…” He made a pause, shaking his head. “C’mon, dude… I can have more than one friend at a time, y’know?”
Yusuke stayed silent. Ryuji placed a hand on his back, looking at his face.
“Is this why you were acting weird?” he asked.
Silence again. Ryuji sighed, placing both hands on Yusuke’s shoulders, making his friend face him.
“Listen,” he said in a serious voice, “Akira is my friend. No, he’s more than that. He’s my family, my strength… He gave me a chance to prove I’m not the piece of trash everyone thought I was, and believed me when even I didn’t believe myself… He’s really important to me, and I’ll never deny it.”
He made a brief pause, reaching for Yusuke’s hand, holding it between his.
“But so are you,” he added. “I was so lost after Akira went away, but you helped me more than anything, and anyone. I was just happy to spend time with you, and, when I realized, I was lookin’ forward to it every day, just wondering when I’d see you again, and where we’d go, and…” he stopped talking for a second, as if searching for the right words. “I never felt like this before, okay? Not with Akira, or anyone else.”
He lowered his eyes, lightly squeezing Yusuke’s hand.
“It’s just you,” he added in a low voice, “and I’d be fuckin’ lost without you in my life.”
Yusuke couldn’t find an answer to those words, but hearing them made his chest seem lighter. After a few seconds of silence, Ryuji let go of his hand, forcing a small laugh.
“Anyway,” he said, “I’m not gonna ditch you just ‘cause Akira—”
Yusuke reached for Ryuji’s face, cupping it with both hands, leaning in his direction until their lips touched. He stayed like that for a moment, enjoying that soft sensation, then moved away, just enough to look into Ryuji’s widened eyes.
“I might have romantic feelings for you,” he said.
Ryuji stared at him in shocked disbelief, and when he spoke, his voice sounded slightly squeaky.
“You say that after kissing me…?” he asked.
“Was it wrong of me to do so?”
“No! I mean… Yeah, but… Fuck…” Ryuji groaned, covering his face with a hand. “Damn, you just killed my stupid brain…”
“My apologies…” Yusuke lowered his eyes. “But I’ve been longing to do it for quite some time. Was it unpleasant?”
Ryuji lowered his hand, enough to uncover his eyes, and stared at Yusuke for a moment, his face carrying a reddish tone.
“You’ll really make me say it, won’t you?” he asked.
Before Yusuke could answer, Ryuji placed a hand on the side of his neck, closing the distance between them.
“No,” he muttered, staring into his eyes, “it wasn’t unpleasant.”
They kissed a second time, but, unlike the first, neither of them moved away for quite a while. Yusuke’s hand slid down the side of Ryuji’s body, stopping at his waist, lightly caressing it. He felt Ryuji’s hand on his head, fingers playing with his hair. A long time passed, and Yusuke was starting to feel like he could stay like that forever, when a sudden thought crossed his mind, and he broke the kiss.
“Am I right to assume you have feelings for me, as well?” he asked.
“Please, do!” answered Ryuji with a loud, amused voice. “I didn’t know how to make it more obvious than this. Shit, dude… you’re impossible to read. I was sure you were just rejecting me nicely, but then you’d go and say somethin’ that gave me hope again…” he sighed. “I was freakin’ out here for nothing.”
“I had no idea you were…”
Yusuke stopped talking, recollecting a few of Ryuji’s words and actions from that day — and not only that day. Now, the more he thought about it, the more hints he found, to the point he started questioning himself how he hadn’t noticed them before.
“Oh…”
Ryuji chuckled at that dejected response.
“You’re so fuckin’ slow!” he said.
Yusuke closed his eyes, feeling a little embarrassed.
“I think… I should apologize for that.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” answered Ryuji, placing an arm around his shoulders. “What matters is that it ended well, right?”
“I suppose.”
Ryuji smiled at him, then leaned against his shoulder. Yusuke played with his hair, a little distracted, his mind still reliving everything that had happened in those last few minutes.
“We might have to come here again later,” he said after a moment. “I barely could finish my first sketch.”
“No problem,” answered Ryuji.
Yusuke smiled to himself, resting his head against Ryuji’s, enjoying what was left of that brief ride.