Chapter Text
Prologue - Inferno
When Augustine is a little boy, he reaches for a saucepan of bubbling hot soup and burns his hand on the stove burner.
His mother is there in an instant to dry his tears and to run his reddened fingers under the cold water, and he remembers always what she tells him - if you play with fire, you are going to get burnt.
Rosette is his first best friend, an Espurr with wide, solemn eyes and an otherwise cheerful demeanour. From her, he learns the importance of caring for other creatures, the virtue of patience, and the necessity of asking permission before touching someone's ears.
When he is nine, she evolves, and the Meowstic becomes a confidant for a shy, awkward, clumsy, intellectually brilliant boy with very few other friends in school.
Who wants to play with the nerd, they say, abandoning him to his books even as his teachers shower him with praise. Who wants to play with the boy who can't kick a ball or skate without falling over himself and who honestly and sincerely enjoys talking about evolutionary theory (not that he can, at that point, pronounce it) and the importance of combat in developing Pokemon strength?
Augustine turns insular and withdrawn, burying himself in his books, and finds that he does not mind at all when he's skipped a year and is able to leave those hateful classmates once and for all.
When he's thirteen, he meets Diantha, and she becomes his first human best friend (Rosette approves, and that is what cements the friendship). She's beautiful and popular and adored, and he can't understand why she hangs out with a dork like him - but she's also fascinated by Pokemon and their bonds, and now there are two dark heads bent over the books in the library, murmuring theories between themselves.
He discovers boys at about the same time she discovers girls, and that too is another secret they keep between themselves, Diantha catching his eye and grinning if she spots him watching some of the older boys playing sports, Augustine giving her the thumbs up when her hand lingers for a little too long on one of her friend's shoulders.
It doesn't matter if she likes pretending she's a Pokemon or if he can't tie his shoelaces or tell left from right without curving his index fingers and thumbs into right angles - they declare themselves to be platonic soul mates anyway, keepers of each other's secrets.
He's skipped ahead once more in collège and has got his baccalauréat by the time he's sixteen, specialising in the sciences and off to one of the best universities in Kalos - École Polytechnique Lumiose, huge and imposing to an undersized and inexperienced sixteen-year-old. It's hard - at his old school, decent but not the world's most spectacular, it was easy to move ahead - now, he has to fight hard to learn, only his thirst for knowing everything in existence keeping him moving toward at times. And still, he nearly fails his first year, the classes too general and the concepts too broad to keep his interest.
Still, all things improve. He finds friends there, friends who are as fascinated by Pokemon as he is, and begins developing something actually resembling a a social life. He's moved through the ranks fast - first, he finds himself with a licencié ès sciences, majoring in biology and eager to learn more - and then he ends up doing his postgraduate thesis on the developing bonds between trainers and Pokemon - and then, before he can actually pause to catch his breath, he's starting his Doctorat and wondering what happened to the rest of his university career, to say nothing of his social life (consisting mostly, at this point, of fortnightly coffee with Diantha in Cafe Soleil - increasingly rare, given that she's started getting some decent-sized acting roles - and a few flings here and there, and one relatively happy handful of months with his first actual boyfriend that ends rather abruptly when aforementioned boyfriend tells him about the other boyfriend he has stashed away in Ingrando, whom he promptly leaves Kalos - and Augustine - to be with).
Once, soon after he starts his Doctorat, he visits Couriway Town and engages in some minor vandalism. Perhaps he shouldn't have put his name on it. Somehow, he can't bring himself to care.
When he's accepted to work directly under the famed Professor Rowan of Sinnoh, he packs up with very few second thoughts, saying goodbye to Diantha with a hug and boarding the plane to take him far, far away.
His first reaction to Sinnoh after stepping out of Jubilife Airport is to skid on an icy patch (Sinnoh, he has discovered, occasionally does actually have snow even in October) and to land flat on his backside. Professor Rowan simply chuckles and gives him a hand up, and Augustine, blushing to the tips of his hair, takes it and scrambles to his feet.
At least the rest of the trip is a little safer, and he allows himself to relax as Professor Rowan drives them through route two hundred and two to tiny Sandgem Town. It's a nice little place, and with the bigger city to the north easily accessible, he can see himself living there for the next almost-a-year, working on Professor Rowan's research projects and finishing off his thesis on new kinds of evolution.
Naturally, a very peculiar group in bad astronaut costumes and even worse teal bowl-cut wigs tries to remake the universe while he's there, and the world is saved by a group of kids, including Professor Rowan's young assistant. Augustine leaves Sinnoh later that year with an almost-complete thesis, a fading relationship with a young man from Sunyshore, and a far greater appreciation for the universe-saving abilities of kids bearing Pokedexes.
It's May when he returns to Lumiose City, and a Kalosian spring is a welcome balm after a Sinnohan winter. After longer than he's cared to think about it in student accommodation, his return to Kalos means his first actual apartment on the last day of the month, some last-minute, hurried edits and revisions to his thesis, multiple visits to the printers, and, finally, submitting the damn thing.
Well, he says 'damn thing'. It's probably the thing he's most proud of in his life, and Diantha literally shrieks and tackles him when he turns up to Cafe Soleil with an exhausted grin and a declaration that it's done and dusted.
He finds himself with a job almost immediately, working at the École Polytechnique under Professor Blanc as an associate lecturer, taking tutorial groups of nervous first-years. It's interesting, but he finds that research draws him more, and within a year he's a postdoctorate fellow instead, still feeling incredulous every time a journal shows up with a paper with his name on it, still feeling like an overgrown teenager (even at twenty-three!), still feeling like he's missed a few critical steps here.
The smoking he picked up intermittantly during his earlier student days and dropped by the time he made it to Sinnoh comes back with a force, and while Diantha encourages him to pursue actual relationships, all he can really find the energy for is a few short flings that lead absolutely nowhere.
Until three and some years after returning to Kalos and turning in his Ph.D, when, at a university function, his world promptly wobbles on its axis.
He's been roped into talking to a colleague he doesn't particularly like (especially since the man wears far too much aftershave), trying hard not to wrinkle his nose, when he happens to glance across the room and feels his heart almost literally skip a beat. Augustine is tall (having shot up unexpectedly in his late teens, much to everyone's surprise but mostly his own), but this man is taller still, his hair like a flame that demands attention, and he cannot understand, he can't comprehend why this man doesn't have every single pair of eyes on him, why he hasn't become the sun with every other attendee slipping into orbit around him. For just a moment, he can't breathe, and he excuses himself so absently he's not entirely sure he said goodbye at all.
And then Professor Blanc is there and oh Arceus above so is the gorgeous man and he's pretty sure he's about to drop a plate on his foot or trip over someone else's shoelace or start stuttering or just keep staring and never stop, and there's an almost comical screeching noise in his head when Professor Blanc tells him, this is her newest Ph.D candidate, he'll be working with the both of them closely for the next two years, his name is Lysandre.
Augustine is pretty sure he actually does stutter when he introduces himself, and promptly spends the next two and a half minutes mentally telling himself off and consequentially missing half of what Lysandre is saying.
It's not a good look, and he escapes with his face flaming red.
It's either extremely good or extremely bad that he doesn't see Lysandre for another three weeks - he's been doing field research, writing papers, and moaning to Diantha about how spectacularly he messed that one up and how is it that she's able to be a gorgeous young star and have a position in Anistar Gym and he can't even talk to an attractive man without turning into a flailing pile of fail? (He does, at least, feel a little better when he learns she literally went speechless upon meeting famed Kantoan actress Sabrina when over in Unova, and how she would blush every time she approached her mentor in modelling, Elesa, while over there. Beautiful women, it seems, have much the same effect on her as unfairly gorgeous men do on him.)
Still, he manages to steel himself to go back to the university, determined to make a better impression this time - he starts dressing more smartly, cuts his hair into something the hairdresser reassures him is the height of fashion (which probably isn't a bad thing, given that his hair was already long enough enough to pull back in a ponytail), and tries, ever so subtly, to sit up straighter when he takes a seat at his desk in the Pokemon biocommunications office.
When Lysandre does finally show up, somehow managing to look far more put-together than both his position as a grad student and his age (twenty-two, according to his records, and Augustine has to keep reminding himself, he's twenty-two, Augustine is nearing twenty-six, he should be definitely keeping his eyes to himself) would suggest, his first reaction is to pause, stare at Augustine, and bluntly observe that he cut his hair.
Oh, the next two years are definitely going to be awkward.
It takes him another month and a half to stop blushing when Lysandre talks to him.
It takes another three for them to start talking more regularly.
By the time eight months have gone by, Lysandre is a friend and Augustine is pretty sure he's on the verge of falling in love.
Lysandre's mind is amazing, passionate and brilliant and blazing as a flame. The gravity that drew Augustine to him the first time is still there, absolutely, and is no less intense for their proximity, but he's allowed within its influence now, is allowed to talk to, joke with, share drinks with, and spend hours with him, imagining how the future should be. Lysandre has so many ideas on how the future should be shaped, ways the world can simply be better, stopping poverty, stopping pollution, stopping inequality, stopping hatred, and he finds himself caught up in Lysandre's perfect world.
It isn't too much of a surprise when he falls for him, when he quietly tells Diantha that he's almost certain that he actually does love him. Never before has he felt his own emotions so acutely, scalding him, intense and hot.
It's just a pity, then, that Lysandre is straight.
Augustine flirts half-heartedly with attractive women while trying hard not to stare bitterly at Lysandre doing the same with considerably more success, often leaving with them and returning looking attractively dishevelled. Once, he finds himself glaring at a girl from across the room for doing nothing more than be the object of Lysandre's affections, and he goes home on those nights with no company other than his own hand and feeling furious at himself for falling so hard and sinking so low.
And yet he just can't bring himself to stay away from Lysandre. If Lysandre asks him to a new restaurant, he will go. If they go out for drinks after a research session at the university, he will go. If Lysandre asked him to jump off Prism Tower, he probably would, he tells Diantha gloomily, and she pats his hand reassuringly and asks him if he ever actually bothered to tell Lysandre how he feels.
(He hasn't, of course. Their meetings are easy, now - how awkward would they be with that looming over their heads?)
They both seem to be in a diminished mood as winter and the end of Lysandre's Doctorat ticks closer, and while the cause of his own discontent is easy enough to identify (is he ever going to see Lysandre again?), he cannot understand why Lysandre would be so gloomy. He is nearly a Ph.D, and in record time - just a year and a half. He already has a job lined up with a small communications company, working on some gadget for travelling trainers to use or something along those lines, and the future is literally at his fingertips - he knows that Lysandre can do anything he sets his mind to.
In a blustery day in November, Lysandre turns in his Ph.D and disappears out of his life.
It's approved. His graduation day in February is noted, and Augustine tries to mustre the enthusiasm to go. Maybe he can be part of the academic procession, just to be there, just to see Lysandre on his proudest day, just for some support -
It comes as some surprise when Lysandre actually does show up at the offices, solemnly telling Augustine that he's inviting him to the graduation ceremony as one of his two guests.
He goes, of course. He can't not go.
It's snowing, that February day, but the celebratory dinner and drinks in a little restaurant in the middle of the city are loud and boistrous. Lysandre is in a bouyant mood and Augustine tries to just go along with it, content to warm his hands on the fire of Lysandre's presence, joining in with the toasts and cheers.
Lysandre is flushed with wine when he finally asks Augustine to come and smoke with him, and they stumble up the stairs into the snowy night. It's hard not to get caught up in his mood as they smoke and stare up at the snowy sky and talk about the future, and then Lysandre wraps an arm around Augustine's waist and demands that he takes a photo of them both.
Chuckling, he snaps a photo with his phone, privately vowing to get it printed off if he can. Lowering his head so he can focus on actually slipping the phone back into his pocket without dropping it in a pile of slush (it's harder than it looks), he doesn't notice when Lysandre wraps the arm around his waist a little more firmly, only lifts his head in surprise when deceptively gentle fingers brush his hair (it's long again, probably too long, he can't bring himself to care) out of his eyes.
He definitely notices when Lysandre leans in and kisses him.
He tastes of rosé, chocolate cheesecake, and cigarettes, and Augustine finds himself marking that particular combination of flavours, even unconsciously, as his new favourite.
But - he's drunk, and Augustine draws back reluctantly, shaking his head once, catching a flash of hurt on Lysandre's face before hastily clarifying what he means - he can't, he won't take advantage of Lysandre when he's been drinking, and if anything is to happen, it will happen when they are both sober and can talk about this properly.
He still walks him home, and he can't protest too much when Lysandre insists on keeping his hand in Augustine's the entire time - or when Lysandre kisses him again, full of promise, at the front door.
When he finally walks home himself, he's pretty sure he's walking on air.
It's the phone that wakes him up the next day, and it's Lysandre's voice he hears upon pressing the call button. He's not drunk any more, he says briskly; he's mildly hungover, but otherwise completely in his right mind. He remembers everything from last night, he greatly appreciates Augustine not going any further with Lysandre in his drunken state, and just when Augustine is pretty sure his heart is going to crack into broken shards, he adds that he would very much like to pick up where they left off the night before.
They tentatively make arrangements to meet in three days (the problem with both being busy men means distinctly less time to pursue potential relationships), and literally the next thing that Augustine does is call up Diantha and almost deafen her with quite possibly the least dignified noise he's ever made.
When they do finally meet up, it's after work in Augustine's apartment, where he's spent the last half hour attempting to wear a crease into the carpet from pacing and has got up and down more often than he cares to think about to check that he has coffee, that he has wine, that he has liquor, that he has the brand of cigarettes that Lysandre likes best, that the cushions are straight and the base boards are free from dust and he has good music and it's only with conscious effort (and a well-timed text from Diantha telling him to relax - in capital letters and an ungrammatical amount of exclamation marks) that he's able to breathe normally.
Naturally, of course, he manages to bash his shin against the coffee table when he jumps up to open the door.
The corners of Lysandre's lips are twitching, and he's fairly sure that's a bad sign.
But no, things go well - Lysandre seems at ease as they settle down on the sofa (Augustine hopping and limping clumsily, Lysandre with his usual graceful glide), half-turned towards each other, neither particularly sure where to begin. How, precisely, were grown adults meant to do this? He was pretty sure that all of his past relationships had started with making out in some dark corner, possibly ill-advised sex, and then determining the next morning if they wanted to continue doing that for some period of time. It's nothing like... this, nothing like what he wants with Lysandre.
(Although he definitely wouldn't say no to some more making out and probably some sex to follow.)
They do begin slowly, though, working out precisely what they want out of this. Are they physically attracted to each other? (Yes, says Lysandre, very much yes, answers Augustine.) Do they want to act on it? (Yes, on all parts.) Would they be interested in acting on it more than once? (Absolutely yes, mutually.)
And then comes the difficult parts - do they want this to simply be a sexual relationship, based solely on lust? (Not... really, Augustine admits, and Lysandre nods once, briefly terrifying him until he clarifies that he was nodding in agreement with Augustine, not that he was agreeing to just being friends with benefits.) Do they want this to be a proper relationship? (Yes, Augustine whispers, and again, Lysandre nods once.) Do they have feelings for each other that went beyond friendship, beyond sex? (And Augustine nods once and bows his head, not sure he wants to see Lysandre's answer, not sure whether he's infatuated or in love and what the difference is, anyway, and it's not until Lysandre lifts his chin with the tips of his fingers and leans in for an infinitely gentle kiss that he gets his answer.)
They end up retiring to the bedroom, after all.
And then they continue to get to know each other.
Augustine is pretty sure his body has turned to jelly and also pretty sure he doesn't mind in the slightest, basking in Lysandre's glorious warmth, the bruise on his shin completely forgotten, and feeling pleasantly tingly. Lysandre's fingers are carding through his hair and his gentle breathing is warm against his skin, the earlier fire cooled to a gentle simmer, and it's going to take rather a lot to actually get him out of bed now.
(It's at this point that Lysandre confides that the reason he remarked on Augustine cutting his hair soon after their first meeting was because he had just spent three weeks fantasising about running his fingers through it. Quietly, Augustine vows to never cut his hair short again.)
And he asks Lysandre, do they keep going like this, together?
And Lysandre answers, yes.
It's surprisingly nice, being in a relationship like this. They're not living together, no - but they see each other enough that that doesn't really matter, and it's not uncommon for Augustine to spend the night at Lysandre's place or vice versa. For three very pleasant years, they continue like this.
Augustine continues working at the university, researching and occasionally teaching, developing a reputation as a growing expert on evolution and potential. He's learning about Mega evolution, evolution beyond evolution, and he is determined to crack it - to work out how to trigger it every time, to work out what every ingredient is, to see if anyone can do it or just a few, to work out how, precisely, Mega stones work, to learn what kinds there are.
Lysandre continues working in electronics, to learn new ways to facilitate communication between groups. He's building up quite a following, practically leading his section of the laboratories, and Augustine is sure it's only a matter of time before he either takes it over or leaves and starts his own.
Diantha, who he rarely gets to see these days (she's gym leader at Anistar City Gym now, and is on track to becoming a member of the Elite Four - there just needs to be two more retirements before she can take a place there - and is still one of the brightest stars in Kalos) is an encouraging friend, the cool water to Lysandre's fire, calming where Lysandre is energising, and he finds himself quietly cursing the film industry for this separation. He needs the both of them, and he needs support if he's going to do what he's thinking of doing.
What he's thinking of doing is moving (temporarily) to Shalour City, to the Tower of Mastery, to learn how to use Mega evolution himself.
Lysandre is silent the day he leaves, both knowing that Lumiose City is not so far away, a mere train ride away. And anyway, they had said their proper farewells that night, quiet promises that this is just temporary, that he will be back soon with the power of Mega evolution. He has Garchompite in his bag and the Pokeball for Artemis the Garchomp on his belt, one of the laboratory Pokemon and his favourite of the group, and he's full of confidence as he waves goodbye from the door of the train.
He returns early, keeps his head bowed low, and begins to pack to see more of the world and to try and learn what went wrong - to try and work out why he just wasn't good enough.
It's a temporary break, he tells Lysandre quietly, just while he gets his head together, while he works out what he wants to do. Long-distance relationships are not easy, and although he promises he will be back, he can't guarantee when that will be.
He can't demand that Lysandre puts his life on hold just for him.
So, for the first time in... ever, he leaves Kalos and travels for the joy of it, for the experience of seeing other regions and other lands. He samples local foods in cafes and restaurants, he mimes hilariously badly with people whose language he doesn't share yet, he delights in the new Pokemon he finds. He still writes back - every week, no matter where he is, a letter to his family, a letter to Diantha, and a letter to Lysandre. There's study in there, too - in Kanto, he finds himself meeting and working with Professor Oak at Professor Rowan's recommendations, and finds himself given not one, not two, but all three Kanto starters.
He names them Hugues, David, and Louis, and tells no one that their nicknames are that from an old Unovan cartoon.
Still, it's Oak who gives him the idea - when he returns to Kalos, with the blessing of Professor Hazel, the current leading Pokemon Professor, he can begin working towards claiming the position for himself. Kalos has its own starters, but the Kantoan ones would work well there too - perhaps, Oak points out, he can distribute those too.
He tries calling Lysandre to let him know, but Lysandre is, it seems, exceptionally busy these days.
It's been a little under two years since he last saw Kalos, and now he returns with his head (slightly) higher. Professor Hazel has accepted his application, and he will be learning how to take over from her when she retires (which, frankly, will be sooner rather than later). With the position will come his own building, essentially - laboratory space of his own (no more having to use the university's!), an office, a rather nice apartment in a very central area.
It's a prestigious position, Professor Hazel tells him frankly when he first arrives at Hazel Laboratories, and he'd better be up for it.
He says yes, and hopes that it's true.
Lysandre takes almost a week to catch up with him, and he finds himself... disconcerted at the changes he sees in him. Yes, running Fleur-de-Lis Labs on his own must be exhausting, and trying to perfect holographic technology can't be easy, but still...
But still.
He's not entirely sure if Lysandre is the same person he was when he left, when he sees that his steely resolve is more like ice. But the same passion he recognised when Lysandre was younger is still there, burning like an inferno, and he can't help but draw closer like a moth to a flame.
They pick up where they left off, and any reservations are gone by the time they reach the bedroom - Lysandre is still as attentive and as warm and as blazingly bright as he always has been, and Sycamore sets those reservations deep, deep down as he forces himself to focus on his new job and rekindling their old relationship.
He can't have changed too much.
Diantha becomes a member of the Elite Four soon after Augustine gets back, and she finds herself only third in line to become Champion herself (another of her fellow Elites, Wikstrom, has no interest in the role, leaving just the other two before her). Augustine hugs her at her celebratory party, and they find themselves retreating to a corner, giggling like schoolchildren and catching up on everything that has happened in the years that Augustine has been travelling for.
Briefly, he explains the odd disconcertment he felt with Lysandre - she pauses, then points out that Lysandre is somewhat of a force of nature, and probably takes a fair bit of getting used to. He became unaccostmed to him while travelling, she says, it will only take time to reacclimatise.
He certainly hopes so, because while their relationship seems to be functioning as well as any adult relationship should be, Lysandre is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders for just about everything else, stressed and easily frustrated.
Something in him is burning away, and it's not going out.
But they can make things bump along smoothly enough if he just pretends hard enough, and they do, and there's nothing actively wrong, there's nothing visible like shouting or arguments and so he can tell himself that Lysandre's occasional rants and passionate fury are just the product of someone who wants to change an injust world, and it's slow, so slow he doesn't realise, and it's not until he finds himself sitting at his own desk in his own new laboratories two years after his return and staring at a framed photograph and feeling more lost than he ever has felt before that he realises that Lysandre has irrevokably changed.
And it's not for the better.
There is a framed photo of him and Lysandre, Lysandre's arm around his waist, flushed with wine, snow in their hair and laughing.
He wonders - how far will he go for perfection?
He opens his safety deposit box, hidden in the third drawer down on the left hand side, places the picture inside, and locks it up tight.
Things go on, because they do.
He gives out Pokedexes and starters, Kalosian and Kantoan alike - first to just one, and then to two (Sina and Dexio, who end up becoming his left and right hands, deciding on their own to become the Defenders of Kalos), then three, then, in a burst of confidence, five. He acquires more Pokemon - a Ralts named Pierre, one of Diantha's Gardevoir's offspring, and a little Skiddo who had been sleeping outside his labs who he names Lili. He hears his name mentioned in the same breath as Professor Oak, Professor Rowan, Professor Juniper, and can't quite shake the little thrill of pride he feels each time. He still spends time with Lysandre and pretends not to see, pretends that he doesn't fear gravely for him, pretends that his hands are only shaking from nerves and not terror when he gives him the Mega Ring he had got from the Tower of Mastery all those years ago. He urges his students onwards, encourages them to learn about the world, to learn about the people in it, to learn if, just possibly, there is anyone in it that could pose a threat to it.
Lysandre starts wearing rather a lot of red.
When Augustine was a little boy, he reached for a saucepan of bubbling hot soup and burned his hand on the stove burner.
When Augustine is a grown man, he watches the blurry video footage of Geosenge aflame, shivering and rubbing his arms, struggling to breathe, fighting fury and denial and terror and the sickening sense that he could have prevented this, and remembers - if you play with fire, you are going to get burnt.