Chapter Text
“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning.” -Vincent Van Gogh
~
Betrayal hurt. Plain and simple, it hurt like no other kind of pain. Heartbreak was a close second, loneliness too, but betrayal left a throbbing ache in your chest where the metaphorical knife was left.
Hands shaking, vision blurring, Marinette bowed her head as she attempted to begin her exercises. In four seconds. One…two…three…four. Hold for seven seconds. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven. Out for nine. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine. Repeating it over and over again, focusing on herself, her worth. She was proud. She was confident. She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
No bully was going to make her get akumatized!
She was better than any of the pettiness Lila offered her, she was Ladybug! She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng! No liar would make her succumb to working with Hawkmoth.
“How are you feeling, Marinette?” Tikki’s squeaky voice questioned tentatively, peering up to her chosen with her wide eyes. She had taken station right there on her lap, keeping watch for black wings, just in case she needed to help Marinette fight against another akuma.
Sighing softly, Marinette scoops Tikki onto her palm so they were eye to eye, “Still the same but I’m a lot calmer. I…Tikki, we need to talk to Master Fu and Maman and Papa about this. I can’t…Ladybug needs to never be akumatized. We can’t risk it. It’ll probably be easier for me if I just..left.” It had been almost a month since Lila’s arrival, and she could feel the shift in everything. It hurt. It hurt a lot, especially with Adrien actively reminding her to stamp down her emotions, actively avoiding her once others were around to avoid her too.
He was such a coward, she had come to realize. So much for having her back…but what should she expect? He had excused Chloe so many times, berated herself for being /excited/ for her bully’s departure, and just ignored her feelings. Kagami, Lila, and Chloe can fight over him, she was getting over him.
“Whatever you think is best. I’ll always be here for you, Marinette.” She flew up, nuzzling her chosen’s cheek.
When they had first began their partnership together, Tikki had the habit of lecturing the young chosen, but she had to remind herself that this was a barely fourteen-year-old girl given a responsibility usually reserved to those trained by the guardians, already adults, typically. Marinette was a young girl who needed love, guidance, and friendship, not another figure head who didn’t listen to her or dismissed her claims.
“I know, Tikki.” Tears prickled at her eyes, heart fluttering with happiness. If nothing else, she had Tikki. Tikki who was there for her, loved her, guided her, and helped her. “Now to just talk to Maman and Papa.” Her parents were amazing, they loved her, but they sometimes had tendencies to just leave her to her own devices. It was both a blessing and a curse.
~
Collège Françoise Dupont was not the only Collège in Paris, it was convenient and close and privately owned, so it was no hardship finding another Collège for her to transfer to. Though her attendance was questionable, her grades and scores were amongst the best, so schools offered her scholarships in the arts once they displayed interest during Spring break, but only one of the schools called to her: Jeanne d'Arc Académie. Old, beautifully structured, and with a highly reputable standing, it was an honor to attend. Their sister schools, Saint-Denis Académie- their école élémentaire- and Jeanne de Clisson Académie-their Lycée, all within walking distances of each other and meant to keep student relationships close. Typically, students would progress from the primary school to the secondary schools, but there was always transfers.
Sure, it would be a commute through the metro and sure she would have to wear a uniform, but it would give her a start to a better road. A road she deserved to venture on.
When she told Tikki the name of her new Collège, the sweet kwami nearly cried tears of joy. “It’s Jeanne, she’s watching out for her fellow ladybug.” She had stated, voice wobbly and emotional but oh so happy. It was no secret to her that one of the greatest historical figures was a Ladybug, Tikki had told her about many following The Pharaoh fiasco. Tikki tried to deny it, but she got the feeling that Jeanne’s time as Ladybug reminded the ancient god of Marinette at the moment.
Her mother had excused her from Dupont following the break, informing the principal and her teacher that Marinette will be attending studies elsewhere. When ventured why, those stormy eyes leveled them both with a look that caused shivers, “We would like to keep the reason to ourselves. We wouldn’t want false rumors to escalate out of hand.” The bite to her tone had the pair obeying without another question.
She ignored any greetings her daughter’s bullies extended to her, ignored them all as she exited the school for the last time. She had a daughter and husband to get to.
There was many things Tom and Sabine regretted. They regretted going to Milan after eating copious amounts of bad seafood, most of their trip was spent throwing up in the hotel room and never venturing outside; they regretted the argument that caused the riff between Sabine and her family, only recently reconnecting after talking about the issue; and they regretted never seeing what they and others were doing to their daughter. They should’ve reached out to her, made the effort to talk with her, to help her understand that emotions were valid and should never be a shaming issue, that any type of bullying should’ve never happened to their sweet girl. Oh yes, they regretted those things, but never again would it happen.
Tom was at home, helping Marinette get her paperwork signed and analyzed, watching over his baby girl who seemed to bloom over the weekend. Never again would he allow another to hurt her, especially from his own tendencies. The pithivier was nearly finished now, and his mama was on her way to spend time with her nipotina. They would all get through this together.
~
Master Fu was a lot easier to speak to. Of course, he was concerned, but he reassures her people are placed in your life to test you, to teach you, to use you, and some to bring out the best in you. It just turned out her classmates were lessons for her to learn from, to understand that she was not at fault in any of this. The willfully blind see what they wish.
Marinette couldn’t help but feel guilty towards Wayzz, his expression resigned and disappointed, apologizing that Ni-Carapace would not be returning to the field to work with. He reassured her it was fine, “You and Chat Noir are who we need, any new chosen will emerge later.”
“You need to teach me to help me learn calming techniques, master. I don’t want the ladybug miraculous to be lost over hurt feelings. Those emotions may be justified, but I have a duty to Paris and myself.”
His proud expression made her beam with confidence in return.
Meditation was the best form of inner peace, at least for herself. She was right, he stated, her emotions and feelings were not to be ignored, lest they fester and rot, so she needed to confront each situation for her own healing. Master Fu guided her through exercises for her to practice in calming herself, to reassure herself in situations of distress. He sat with her as she walked herself through each confrontation with a classmate, only visible to her mind’s eye but she needed it.
Day sessions were implemented, Marinette saying that she was seeing her Master for Chinese lessons and meditation practice-it became more of a thing once Akumas emerged. Her parents were proud she was taking steps ahead to better and protect herself, hugging her close to let her know they absolutely loved their little girl.
~
Nonnia Gina always challenged her, challenged her minds’ thinking by telling her how unique the world was. How modern Mongolians continued their old traditions of being nomadic and training golden eagles for hunts, but some switched from horses to motorcycles; how Gregorian dancing used to be her favorite thing but it hurt now in her older years; how monstrous fish could become in the less treaded areas of the world, recalling how a British fisherman had been at a nearby village and caught a beast of a fish. She expanded her nipotina’s understanding of the world, but sometimes it was best to get to their roots.
Which lead them to their current situation. It’s not like Gina meant to introduce knife fighting to her granddaughter, but Marinette was a talented girl and Tom was too much of a softy. After Befana, Gina made an effort to keep in contact and visit her nipotina more often so they could reconnect; now, Akuma’s were a terrifying things but they were nothing in comparison to the real monsters in life. So knife fighting became a thing for them.
“Come on! I know you know how to better defend yourself.” She challenged, smirking as sapphires narrowed in concentration as Marinette allowed herself to move properly with the knife in her hand. “That’s it! You should hold nothing back in situations of life or death, that will only mean death or injury for yourself or another. The monster fighting you will not hold back!”
Marinette grunted, the blades colliding together as they almost danced together. Faintly, she compared it to fencing, but fencing was not /nearly/ as fun as Italian knife fighting. Close though. Like Savate wasn’t nearly as fun as American kickboxing. She needed something hard, fast, and made her sweat. It’s why she had loved ballet, why she had loved shaolin Kung Fu, why she loved practice fighting with Chat Noir. They were a challenge.
So just like she was beating her Nonnia in their fight, she was going to beat everyone and live the life she deserved!