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If there was one thing Pepper hated about being pregnant, it was the way it left her tired and sore half the time. She loved feeling her baby kick, loved the utter adoration on Tony’s face when he felt it, too. But she really could do without the back pain.
“Tony,” she groaned, keeping one hand on her rounded belly. She tried to move, only to find her swollen feet asleep.
“Yeah, babe?” Tony called from the kitchen, where he was fetching her her peanut butter ice cream. A side effect of pregnancy meant more money spent on odd foods, considering Pepper had hated peanut butter before. He walked over to the couch, holding a pint and two spoons. “What’s up?”
“My feet are asleep,” she complained, making grabby hands for the ice cream. “Pregnancy is the worst.”
He chuckled, passing over the container and a spoon. “So you’ve said.”
“Next time, you’re carrying the baby, I swear,” she groused, eating her ice cream sullenly. Tony tried to stick his spoon in and she smacked him. “Paws off.”
“Pep, that’s a whole pint,” he said incredulously, trying again to get a bite. “I can have a bit of it.”
She glared at him and snatched his spoon, throwing it across the room. “Oops,” she deadpanned. “Go get that and let me eat my ice cream in peace. This is all your fault.”
“We were both involved in the process,” Tony reminded her, but he obediently went and picked up the thrown utensil to put in the sink. “I will accept no more than twelve percent of the credit.”
“Then I will do no more than twelve percent of the childcare,” Pepper said sweetly. “And I’ll take the cute bits. You can change all the diapers.”
He sat back down next to her, moving her feet into his lap to massage. “And I will be the best diaper-changer there ever was,” he said confidently.
Inexplicably, Pepper teared up. “Stupid hormones!” she hissed, wiping her eyes.
“Woah, Pep, are you okay?” said Tony, concerned.
“I just got hit with a wave of holy shit, we’re going to be parents ,” she explained, waving off his concern. “For some reason, it manifested as tears. I hate pregnancy.”
“Need more ice cream?” he took it in stride, used to her mood swings by this time in her pregnancy. “I bought extra when I was at the store.”
She stretched to kiss him, tasting like peanut butter and love. “I’m good, babe,” she said. “Thanks, though. Now, rub my feet. I’m in pain.”
“No heels for a while, I think,” Tony said, complying. “I’m not sure these things will fit in any of your shoes.”
“And that’s why you don’t get any ice cream,” she huffed, suppressing a moan when he hit the spot that was hurting. “Oh, never stop doing that.”
“I have a job, Pep,” he argued playfully. “I can’t be your live-in masseuse.”
“You’re fired,” Pepper waved a hand. “I’m CEO, I can do that. Now your employment is wide open.”
He sighed. “I guess I have no choice, then. I’ll have to sell my body on the streets to make money. Or sell drugs; I’d be good at that.”
“Nope,” she smirked at him. “You’d be terrible at selling drugs.”
“There go all of my employment plans,” he sighed. “Whatever shall I do?”
She set the empty container of ice cream to the side. Her eyes were drooping; pregnancy was exhausting . The mood swings alone could put her out of commission for a whole day.
“I think we should take a nap,” she told Tony, twisting to get more comfortable.
“Do you want to be on the bed or here?” he asked.
She hissed as her sore body changed position. “Whatever requires the least movement on my part.”
“I could carry you,” he offered. “Like a sack of potatoes.”
“Quit while you’re ahead, Tony,” Pepper advised, closing her eyes. “You earned good husband points for today, don’t make me take them back.”
Tony chuckled softly, carding a hand through her hair. “Go to sleep, Pep,” he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll wake you for dinner.”
“You’re the best husband,” she slurred, already half asleep. “And you’re going to be the best dad ever.”
“And you, my dear,” Tony bopped her nose lightly. “Are going to be the best mother ever.”
Pepper closed her eyes to Tony’s ecstatic whisper of we’re going to be parents! and smiled.