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"Did you hear? Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian are in the area."
The tea cup stills in midair, stalled as the hand holding it is distracted by the talk just one partition down.
The restaurant is one of those run-of-the-mill things, a family-run establishment maybe two, three generations in. The wood is old and somewhat cheap, the walls plain, so really the acoustics of private conversations is clearly far from the owners’ concern.
"Wei Wuxian? Yiling Laozu Wei Wuxian?" comes another voice from the other table.
"Do you know of any other Wei Wuxian? Of course that Wei Wuxian!"
The person in question—Wei Wuxian, that is—clears his throat just one table down. Of course, in a room full of people, this does not draw much attention, and the men on the other table continue with their conversation.
"So what they say is true? The Yiling Patriarch has returned?"
"If you believe the news from Lanling,” says the first voice, “then looks like it.”
“The news from Lanling,” scoffs a third voice, this time a woman. "Who knows what we can believe these days? I spend all these years thinking I know all there is to know about that man, then suddenly, what? He is cavorting with Hanguang-jun as though they were not mortal enemies in a past life! Just how are we to know who is on which side anymore?”
Murmurs of assent go around the table, and Wei Wuxian, used to these silly things and nasty accusations, just huffs a humorless laugh and shakes his head. His eyes look up to the person sitting across from him. Sure enough, the esteemed Hanguang-jun’s face is a picture of calm, though Wei Wuxian can see that his companion remains tense and alert.
“Lan Zhan,” says Wei Wuxian, voice soft so only the two of them can hear. He gives the other a smile that he hopes is appeasing. “Don’t mind them. I am used to this, remember?”
“No less unpleasant,” says Lan Wangji. Stilted though his words may be, Wei Wuxian has known him long enough to recognize how displeased the other is with the conversation going on over on the other table.
Wei Wuxian does not reply, leaving things at that. After all, he would never tell Lan Wangji what he should or should not feel, and in truth, every time the other shows his loyalty to Wei Wuxian like this, Wei Wuxian feels a warmth in his chest that is too pleasant to question.
If it is a feeling that comes to him more often these days than any other time he can remember, well, that is neither here nor there.
"That's not even all that I have heard."
Some time has already passed, and for the most part they have drowned out the rest of the conversation from the other table. The words just came at a rather opportune time, during a brief lull in the room, that Wei Wuxian’s ears perk at hearing the intriguing opening.
“My cousin, as you know, works at the Jin sect, and apparently strange rumors are going around their place even though the leaders are keeping things quiet.”
“What rumors, A-Yi?”
Even Lan Wangji’s expression turns serious at this. They are always on the alert for strange rumors, for they could always be a lead to an investigation or a potential night hunt.
“They say--” There is a pause, long enough perhaps for the speaker to pull the others in or look around for eavesdroppers—not that it would be of any use, given the restaurant partitions. “They say,” says the second woman, her voice lower now, “that Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian are already cultivation partners.”
The tea Wei Wuxian is just drinking promptly goes down the wrong pipe. He chokes, hand slamming down on the table in his surprise, and for some time all things are forgotten as he just spends the time regaining the ability to breathe. After the wheezing, he opens tearful eyes to a sea of white, for sure enough Lan Wangji has risen from his end of the table to lean over and rub Wei Wuxian’s back.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tells him, though his voice still comes out pinched.
“Cough,” says Lan Wangji. He does not move away, his hand a steady weight on Wei Wuxian’s back as he encourages the other to clear his airways.
Wei Wuxian sucks in a breath and releases a few more loaded coughs. “I’m fine,” he repeats, and this time he sounds more convincing. But they seem to have already caused a ruckus, because the conversation from the other table has stopped. “Ah, I think we ought to go, Lan Zhan.”
It is an easy decision to make. The last thing they want is for the other table to peek in and recognize them, and they do not want to cause a scene.
They leave after that, dinner all good and done and their check settled with extra, as is Lan Wangji’s wont. The streets of Laoling greet them on their way out, at least what humble crowd it keeps that time in the day. They are yet in the smaller villages in the outskirts of the main city, just passing by, and here the people are fewer and the lamps even less so.
Well, they prefer it that way anyway. Lan Wangji has always preferred peace and he disliked crowds, and while Wei Wuxian is the more outgoing one between them, much have changed since their carefree days in Gusu. The “Yiling Patriarch” is still a title that he carries with him and it comes with heavy baggage, regardless of recent events. Who knows how long his legacy will continue on for, when it has already survived for nearly two decades?
"Do not take it to heart."
Wei Wuxian looks up, pulled out from his thoughts.
"Huh?"
Lan Wangji stands a few steps back. A nearby lamp softly lights his face with its golden glow, the pristine white of his robes making him stand out from his more humble surroundings. Not that it is the village’s fault, thinks Wei Wuxian, for the esteemed Hanguang-jun would stand out even amidst all the gold in Lanling.
"What they said," says Lan Wangji. “The rumors—forget them.”
“Oh, those!” Wei Wuxian laughs, loudly and cutting through the evening quiet. "Oh, Lan Zhan. Come on, that didn't bother me!" He makes a show of it by laughing again, nevermind that Lan Wangji is not laughing with him. (He seldom does anyway.)
Distracted as he is with deflecting, it takes a while before another thought settles. When it does though, it silences the laughter from Wei Wuxian’s mouth.
“Did--” he begins to say, although for some reason the words get stuck as though he is still choking. He clears his throat. “What about you? D-Did that conversation bother you?”
He is not sure why his voice shakes. Then again, lately it seems like he is not sure of a lot of things. Ever since he and Lan Wangji met again after their parting in Gusu—a parting he used to tell himself was not as long as some sleepless nights made it feel—they have not settled with the same ease and closeness as they used to have. It is as though something unsettled hangs between them, but what that something is is something Wei Wuxian is still wracking his brain for.
Maybe that less stubborn part of him is right. When they met again, maybe he should have just been honest and hugged Lan Wangji tight like he wanted, told him how much he missed him and how lonely and boring the days had been night hunting without Lan Wangji by his side. Maybe then it would not feel as though every time he looks at Lan Wangji, something is lodged in Wei Wuxian’s throat like a secret clamoring to be let free.
“I am not bothered,” Lan Wangji answers.
Wei Wuxian releases a breath he did not even know he held. "S-So then, you see? All is fine!"
"Mn."
They continue walking, Lan Wangji all tall and proper, Wei Wuxian beside him kicking up dust and stray pebbles. It is a comfortable enough walk that Wei Wuxian relaxes into it as time passes.
“The last time I checked, you are still at the top of the esteemed bachelors of the cultivation world,” he finds himself saying.
Lan Wangji hums. "I do not pay attention to those."
"I used to," shares Wei Wuxian, reminiscing about his youth. "Jiang Cheng will deny it, but he did, too. It's fun knowing those things anyway, and it is good for the ego."
"Wei Ying's ego does not need any more feeding."
Wei Wuxian grins. "Sure it does."
Lan Wangji makes another noise. "Could even use being starved for a few days."
This time, Wei Wuxian outright laughs. It is a good, honest and healthy laugh, the kind of thing that he made often in a far past, but one only Lan Wangji seems to get out of him ever since waking to this new life. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, what an awful thing to say! To think I used to celebrate it when you teased me, but I don't think I'll be doing that anymore."
He says it in good cheer though, and Lan Wangji knows that well enough without him having to explain it. More and more does the air between them ease so the smile stays on Wei Wuxian's face.
He still does not know what makes him ask it.
"Say, Lan Zhan. Have you ever thought of settling down with someone?"
The words were out before Wei Wuxian could think to filter them. Lan Wangji does not immediately answer, and so Wei Wuxian scrabbles to explain. "I mean, you can't help what people gossip about, right? You're too famous, and you are at that age when people really wonder. I know Gusu probably has all these rules that forbid having sweethearts and lovers you don't intend to marry, so I don't know if you have even--"
This time, Wei Wuxian catches himself. Realizing what he is just about to say, he immediately closes his mouth, cutting himself off.
Lan Wangji though, of course takes notice. He slows down and looks at Wei Wuxian. "If I have even what?" he asks.
"Uh…"
At first he is able to meet that gaze, but like the traitors that they are, Wei Wuxian's eyes slide down before he can help it. They settle on Lan Wangji's lips, the question of the other's prior experiences—if there had been any—at the forefront of his mind. Who knows, after all? Wei Wuxian was dead for sixteen years, and life went on for Lan Wangji in all that time.
A myriad of things happen to Wei Wuxian then. He is struck by the idea of Lan Wangji kissing somebody—struck, that is, by the realization that he absolutely does not like that. But before he can remind himself how inappropriate it is to feel in any way proprietary over another person, he is then struck by the idea of Lan Wangji and kissing, in general, that is—what it's like… to... kiss him.
Wei Wuxian looks away and blurts out the first thing he can think to say. "Cultivation partners!" Wait, maybe that is also a bad idea, but-- nevermind. "If you ever thought about it, I mean. But your sect founder was famous for his story of finding his own cultivation partner, right? So surely it is not so foreign an idea for you guys…"
He ends with an awkward laugh. He then clears his throat and walks ahead.
Unexpectedly, Lan Wangji answers behind him. "I have thought of settling down."
Something thumps in Wei Wuxian's chest, makes him stop walking. He turns around, surprised (not hurt, because why would he be) by the admission. "You have?"
"Mn. A long time ago."
Footsteps crunch quietly against the dirt road, and in no time Lan Wangji is standing near and facing Wei Wuxian. His presence warms the cooling air of the evening around them.
"Wei Ying," he says, voice low and steady in that way Wei Wuxian knows all too well. "Earlier, what did you really mean to ask me?"
Wei Wuxian's mind is in turmoil. His face heats at the remembrance of where his earlier thoughts had been, but mixed with the revelation of Lan Wangji having considered to marry (who? when was this?) at least once in his life, it is all a confusing mix of conflicting things.
"I guess I--"
He was about to say, 'I have never thought about it myself,' but would that be true? He might not have thought about it in those exact terms, but what difference is there between what cultivation partners are and—if he is being honest with himself—what he once (twice... three or maybe many other times) envisioned for himself and the man standing in front of him?
"Lan Zhan, as you know, as strange as it sounds, I have been dead for almost half of my life. I am supposed to be the same age as you, but does it even count if I was not alive for much of those years?" He looks down at his foot carving odd patterns on the dirt. "So I just wondered if you have-- I mean, it might come as no surprise, but I haven't even kissed anyone before."
Something in the other's silence makes Wei Wuxian look up. Sure enough, there is an odd expression on Lan Wangji's face.
"What?" asks Wei Wuxian.
"I did not say anything."
"No, but your face did! You are surprised!"
This time, Lan Wangji's face twitches, as though suddenly conscious of whatever it was showing.
Wei Wuxian huffs at him. "I will have you know, Hanguang-jun, that I am a man of honor. I do not go around giving away kisses to all and sundry, and I am both curious why and offended that you think so."
"Wei Ying is a flirt," says Lan Wangji, deadpan.
"F-Flirting is just flirting! It doesn't mean doing!"
"Mn."
This time, there is a hint of amusement in Lan Wangji's tone. It is contagious, too, so that even though he pretends to still be offended by him, Wei Wuxian's lips also cannot help but lift in mirrored mirth.
The street has grown deserted in the time that has passed, so that as soon as they suddenly stop speaking, the quiet settles around them. The evening breeze blows around them, their robes billowing as it passes. Lan Wangji's hair dances with the light around his face, and once again, Wei Wuxian wonders.
"Lan Zhan… what about you?"
Lan Wangji's voice is as soft as his eyes as he looks back at Wei Wuxian. "What about me?"
"Have you… ever kissed anyone? Thought of kissing anyone?"
Deathly curious but also anxious of what the answer could be, Wei Wuxian holds his breath.
"Kissed, no," says Lan Wangji. (Wei Wuxian quietly releases his breath.) "Thought about it…"
Wei Wuxian blinks up at him. "Yes?"
"Yes."
It takes a while for that to sink in, and Wei Wuxian blinks again. "Yes?"
There is a slight tilt to Lan Wangji's head when he speaks again. "I answered."
"Yes, but-- Lan Zhan, you have been holding out on me!" His heart is racing though he does not yet understand why. Wei Wuxian forces out a big smile. "How come I have never heard of this before? Am I not your closest friend? Is it anyone I know?"
Lan Wangji looks at him, looks at him for a long time, and Wei Wuxian thinks he has seen that look before. A time many years ago return to him, one where the two of them are sitting in front of a fire in the Xuanyu Cave and he had been teasing Lan Wangji about liking Mianmian. At the time, he had known it wasn't true, and so really he was just teasing Lan Wangji. The look on Lan Wangji's face then looks much like it does now.
After some time, Lan Wangji just looks away with a near imperceptible shake of his head.
"What?" Wei Wuxian asks after him when the other begins walking again. He pulls Lan Wangji by the crook of his arm. "What is that look for? Don't tell me you actually like somebody? We are so close, how come you never told me? I really am disappointed, Lan Zhan."
Wei Wuxian likes teasing Lan Wangji—this is no secret. This has been apparent for anyone to see since the moment the two young cultivators met. But for some reason, nowadays, when Wei Wuxian teases Lan Wangji with things like this—girls, whom he likes, the many admirers who follow him with their eyes—a sharp, heavy thing scratches at his chest, making a once entertaining habit feel... decidedly less so.
"You are so dense," says Lan Wangji.
"What?" Wei Wuxian pulls on the other's arm again. "I really don't know what you mean."
"Think."
Wei Wuxian huffs and kicks at the dirt for good measure. "Aiya, you and your riddles again. Just tell me!"
"I think Wei Ying knows." Lan Wangji faces him fully then, and it could be a trick of the light, but something on that otherwise ethereal face looks exasperated and pained. Steady eyes bore into Wei Wuxian. "Everyone else seems to know."
The breath stills in Wei Wuxian's chest. Oddly, it is Jiang Cheng's voice in their youth that suddenly rings in his head: 'Wei Wuxian, you are pretty close with Lan Wangji these days. You may as well be a Lan Sect disciple.' And then, Zewu-jun: 'I hope that Master Wei would not be so overly focused on himself that he hurts those who care most about him.' Even Sizhui: 'You and Hanguang-jun, you are very much alike.'
Everyone else seems to know.
If he is being honest with himself, the idea is not completely new to Wei Wuxian. He considered it, once or twice even in his old life, whether what affinity he felt for Lan Wangji was really just the kind of fondness one harbored for a friend, even one who was a brother-in-arms and an equal in all things. If one had that one friend, one trustworthy and who understood you even better than you sometimes did yourself… if there was no one else like that friend, and if you sought their company like you did no one else's—could one still call that just a friend? What even makes someone more than a friend?
The answer comes to him now in the flickering lights. Once, his dear shijie asked him whether he thought Lan Wangji was as handsome as Wei Wuxian. He did not even think twice and he told her then: 'More handsome.'
And he is. Lan Wangji—Hanguang-jun—is gorgeous , fully deserving of his title, and of this there has never been any doubt. But what used to be just healthy admiration and Wei Wuxian being comfortable enough in his own skin to admit if another man is more attractive than he is, this time looking at Lan Wangji stirs something else in him, something less… friendly and innocent. Looking at Lan Wangji these days makes Wei Wuxian nervous, excited and awkward in equal parts, and he has never really allowed himself to think much about that—until now.
Looking at Lan Wangji now, he is beautiful in a way even Wei Wuxian struggles with words to describe. His light-colored eyes make shivers run up Wei Wuxian's back, and the line of his lips are naturally an alluring curve, soft and warm-looking in the chill evening air.
"Wei Ying." Those lips move around his name and, oh —impossibly, it even gets so much better. They curve up slightly into a soft smile, one that Wei Wuxian follows up again to Lan Wangji's eyes that look at him fondly, comfortable and familiar. "Have you also thought of someone?"
That smile, small though it may be, is what gives him courage. Lan Wangji is still Lan Wangji, after all, despite that they have not seen one another in so many months. If perhaps those months just helped settle something in Wei Wuxian that had been brewing for what feels like so many years, well, they would just have to ride that through, as they have done for even worse things.
"There is someone," he admits, and this time his own lips stretch into its old playful smile, "that I think about. But I… do not know what they would say if I ask. Do you think they will agree if I ask them?"
Something in Lan Wangji's eyes light up in answer to Wei Wuxian's smile. "Ask them what?" he says. "To kiss or to settle down?"
Wei Wuxian gravitates towards him without even noticing, not until he is standing so close to Lan Wangji that their breaths mingle in the cold air. His voice is still playful, but it trembles all the same. "Maybe... first, to kiss?"
His answer comes first with Lan Wangji's gaze sliding down, down to where Wei Wuxian's lips are cold, parted and waiting. Lan Wangji moves then, those lips finally descending, but it is as though Wei Wuxian registers it all happening in some heightened, hyper-focused state. His own eyes home in and sees those lips coming to him so painfully slowly, enough so in waiting his own lips start to itch and tingle. He bites them to keep himself in check, but Lan Wangji makes a noise and Wei Wuxian does not last. He closes that final gap, surging up and latching on, lips pressing against lips as his arms wrap around Lan Wangji's neck.
And gods, the heat of it. Wei Wuxian is not so pure; he was a healthy boy growing up, with money to access things healthy boys liked to look at in their early days. But nothing he knew could compare to the potency of this first kiss. He is pressed against Lan Wangji that they form a warm cocoon, and his lips are hot against Wei Wuxian's. At first they were just innocently pressed together, sharing breaths, but gradually they figure things out. Lips part, slide together, and drowning, Wei Wuxian's mind blanks out for those long, blissful moments when he tastes the sweetness of a deepened kiss, and he holds on tightly.
They part eventually after what feels like hours. Wei Wuxian can even believe it as he looks up at Lan Wangji's flushed cheeks, his beautifully reddened lips, and his eyes that gaze down at Wei Wuxian as though he has just brought down the moon and the stars from the heavens.
"Next question?"
Warm fingers brush the hair out of Wei Wuxian's face. He leans into that hand, irresistibly drawn to its warmth, even as he tightens his arms that have wrapped around Lan Wangji's waist. "Hmm?"
"Earlier, you said to kiss is just the first."
It takes a while before the pieces fall together for Wei Wuxian—who can blame him, when his brain is still blissed out from that brilliant kiss?
Eventually though, he gets it. "Ah."
His arms could not have tightened any more around Lan Wangji, which Wei Wuxian mourns, because he dearly would like to be able to do so. Here is the man who has grown so precious to him, so important to him, who stayed with him and remained faithful to him even after his death. Lan Wangji has never even been kissed before this, which for someone as beautiful as he is, is almost a crime. Wei Wuxian would be a fool not to claim him, wouldn't he? And who would not want to live a life with someone as perfect as Lan Wangji? When he does claim him, Wei Wuxian will make sure to kiss Lan Wangji everyday as he is meant to be kissed—lovingly and devotedly, as Lan Wangji has always ever been with Wei Wuxian.
"Hanguang-jun," he says. He meant for teasing, but his voice just comes out breathless and awed as he looks at the beautiful man before him. "Lan Zhan. Will you settle down and be cultivation partners with me?"
Sometimes, having been born with great gall truly can be a blessing. He is rewarded for it again now, when he finds himself kissed again, and it is no less spectacular the second time around.
"Yes." Lan Wangji's wraps Wei Wuxian in an equally snug embrace, and Wei Wuxian is truly tempted to stand just like that 'til morning. But Lan Wangji is not yet done. "Not sure though about settling down. Might be impossible for Wei Ying—too much energy."
Wei Wuxian laughs. It bubbles within him with pure delight, because not even all the evils of the world can mar this moment for him.
Plus, on second thought, maybe he can get used to a teasing Lan Wangji.
"Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. I'll show you energy, just you wait."
- fin -