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“James.”
He looked up, eyes going big and round behind his glasses. Lily might’ve laughed if the whole situation wasn’t making her regret being sorted into Gryffindor in the first place, because honestly, was everyone in this house a hot mess?
“Um, yeah?” James had finally regained his speech, which was useful. She supposed it was rather unusual, her seeking him out for a conversation. Less so since they had become Head Boy and Girl together, but still unusual. Or maybe it was her use of his first name. But what she was planning to ask him about was fairly personal, so she supposed first names were appropriate, and would at the very least make him more inclined to hear her out.
“May I sit down?” she asked politely. Lily was determined to keep this civil, and if James Potter knew what was best for him, he would too.
“Sure,” he nodded, still looking a bit dumbstruck. She sat down across from him at the library desk. It had taken her a week to find him alone, but right now Sirius was in detention, Remus was off doing some prefect tasks that Lily had made up in a moment of desperation to get him away from James, and she had seen Peter sneaking off towards the kitchen so they definitely had time now.
“I need to talk to you.” Talking to James Potter. What had her life come to? Yelling at James Potter, yes, insulting, chiding, making rude gestures, those were all activities she associated with him. Even after finding out he had somehow been made Head Boy—still a mystery, she was pretty sure Dumbledore had finally lost his marbles—she generally avoided him, pulling up a cool veneer of professionalism constructed from years of dislike. But talking? This was new, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit nervous.
“About the prefect rounds? I already posted them in the common rooms.”
Lily bit her lip. She wished it was just about the prefect rounds. “No. Not about Head duties. Something…personal, I guess.”
“Um, yeah, yeah!” James’ eyes lit up and he grinned. An actual smile, not a smirk or a smug quirk of the lips. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He hadn’t been so bad this year, actually taking his Head Boy responsibilities seriously, not asking her out every other day, scaling down some of his pranks. This might work. “About what then? Because if it’s about the incident with the pudding at supper last night, Sirius is already serving detention for that and we haven't planned anything else yet.”
“No—no, not about that.” Lily would take it to her grave that she had actually laughed last night’s pudding incident. James Potter must never know that she found some of their pranks—the harmless ones that didn’t involve public humiliation—actually amusing. “Although it is about Sirius.”
Lily actually saw James’ eyes take on a slightly more serious note, although he kept up the jovial expression. Lily and Sirius’ fights, while not as frequent as hers and James’, were almost as legendary and possibly twice as deadly. “What’d he say to you? If he took it too far or said something he shouldn’t have—”
“No, he didn’t do anything.” Lily paused. She had gotten so distracted dredging up the courage to actually come talk to him that she’d never actually planned out what to say. “It’s—well it’s about him and Remus.”
Remus was Lily’s favorite Marauder, with absolutely no competition. They frequently studied together, were prefects together, and aside from his choice in friends, she thought he was the most sensible person at Hogwarts. He was the only person at school who knew about her troubles with her sister, he had told her about his lycanthropy—admittedly, she had figured it out after the incident fifth year with Severus and confronted him about it, but details—and Lily considered him among her best and closest friends, and would do just about anything for him. Including approaching one James Potter.
“Well—well you know Remus and I are good friends—and well, he told me—the other day—that, you know—” This was quite possibly the worst idea that Lily had ever had. What if Remus hadn’t actually told James and she was just assuming things? Of course, everyone knew the Marauders were extremely close and had as many secrets between them as detentions, but Remus had never actually said he’d told James, what if she accidentally betrayed one of her best friends—
“That he’s gay,” James nodded, and a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. “Yeah, he mentioned the other day that he told you.”
“Right, okay, good,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Well, he also might’ve maybe mentioned to me the bloke he’s interested in…” This was the part she wasn’t sure about. Whether James already knew, or suspected, or whether he had no idea and she’d have to convince him, or what if he just thought it was a horrible idea. He did know his friends better than she did, she was sure.
“Wait—” James’ eyes went big again. “Wait, who did he say?”
“He hasn’t told you?” Lily asked. Oh Merlin, now she was having doubts about betraying Remus’ trust again, and she had thought this would be such a good idea.
“No, but Sirius might’ve told me something similar,” James said, eyes glittering with a maniac glee. “I knew it, I fucking knew it! I’ve been telling Sirius for months that he should make a move but he’s always bitching that Moony doesn’t like him back!”
“No, Remus definitely does,” Lily breathed a sigh of relief. Sirius liked Remus too. She wasn’t crazy, imagining things that weren’t there, and James was would help her fix this. “Half an hour, he talked about Sirius’ hair for literally half an hour.”
“Please, that’s nothing,” James rolled his eyes. “Sirius has gushed about Remus’ jumpers, eyes, hands, hair, books, handwriting, socks, tea preferences, literally everything, there is not one aspect of Remus Lupin that I have not heard Sirius Black wax poetic about.”
Lily giggled, believing him wholeheartedly. That would definitely be characteristic of Sirius. James beamed at her, before leaning over to rummage through his bag, resurfacing with a piece of parchment.
“What’s that?” Lily asked, trying to act casual. She had seen the Marauders huddled around a mysterious parchment before, and her curiosity had only been checked by her prideful resolve to not indulge the boys.
“Idea parchment,” James said. He unfolded it and smoothed it out. “You want to get them together, right? That’s why you came to me?”
“Yeah,” Lily huffed, which was ridiculous because he was right, that’s why she came to him. But it was supposed to be her idea, because she wanted to help her dear friend Remus, not James or Sirius. But it was so nice to be able to talk about this with someone, and James looked so pleased and excited.
“Good,” James said. “Good, because they need to get together, they would be so happy and so good together, and Sirius will stop sighing like a lovesick puppy and just snog him instead.”
“Remus would be much happier too,” Lily admitted. “He’s pining rather pathetically.”
“I knew it!” he exclaimed, rather too loudly. Madame Pince hushed him, and he smiled rather sheepishly. “Of course I couldn’t ask him, because Sirius would’ve killed me and I don’t even know if Remus would’ve told me, but now we know for sure and we can push them together.”
“So what’s on the parchment?”
“Ideas I’ve come up with,” he said. Lily held back a smirk at the self-satisfied look on his face. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I’ve got to do something while Sirius is going on and on about Remus’ pinky toe or whatever.”
“Goodness, you have,” Lily muttered, taking the parchment and scanning it over. The ideas varied in complexity, from “push their heads together so they kiss” to three paragraphs detailing an extremely convoluted plot to trick them into going on a date at Madame Pudifoot’s. “Why can’t we, I don’t know, just tell them?”
James looked scandalized. “Sirius made me promise not to tell Remus.”
“He didn’t make me promise,” Lily pointed out. James still look put out.
“No, no, that’s still—” he bit his lip. “It wouldn’t be right. Besides, Moony’s skittish, he’ll bolt if we approach him, and that’s only if he actually believed us, which is unlikely.”
Lily had to admit that was probably true. And she felt the same about telling Remus’ secrets to Sirius, so that ruled out honesty. Reluctantly, she looked back at the list. “So where should we start?”
“I think number fifteen would work best, or maybe number twenty two?” James rambled excitedly. “Thirty four would be fun but I realize it would be a bit far fetched.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure where we’re going to get a hippogriff…” Lily said. James beamed at her anyways, and had he always smiled at her like that?
“What about number fifteen?” he asked.
“James, it’s October, we can’t use mistletoe,” Lily rolled her eyes. For all his commitment to the cause, he was clearly getting carried away with enthusiasm. Is this what he was like while planning a prank? Probably. She bet Remus was the one who reigned him in. It certainly wasn’t Sirius, and Peter adored James too much to hold him back.
“Oh, you’re right,” he frowned. “What about twenty two?”
“That might work on Sirius, but how on earth are you going to convince Remus that the giant squid will give free rides to people after their first kiss?” she asked dryly.
James went pink, then grabbed the parchment. “Uh, no wait, I meant twenty three. Sorry.”
Lily bit back another laugh. She was doing that a lot over the course of this conversation, she realized, but that was a problem for future Lily to deal with. Present Lily was too busy teaming up with an arrogant git to get their mutual friend laid.
“Number twenty three might work,” she allowed. “Except—what’s your cloak got to do with any of this? And there’s no way Remus wouldn’t be suspicious.”
“Oh, right,” James winced. “Um, don’t worry about the cloak. It’s just a cloak. Maybe we should toss that one.”
“Okay,” Lily said slowly, and decided to disregard his weirdness about his cloak. She rather liked his cloak actually, it was a pretty dark amber color that really brought out his hazel eyes. Not that she thought that, but the girls in her dorm had talked about it for a week straight after he’d come back from Christmas hols fifth year and started wearing it constantly. And she couldn’t imagine how it could possibly help them get Remus and Sirius together. “Anyways, I think we should start small. Remus doesn’t even know Sirius is bent, why don’t we start there?”
James nodded solemnly, like she’d just imparted wisdom of the gravest importance. “Sirius has a stash of dirty muggle magazines that definitely show men doing—stuff.”
Lily watched in amazement as his face turned a delightful shade of pink. Was James Potter a prude?
“That would work,” she said, filing that theory away for further testing. “Maybe I could confiscate it in some public manner that Remus will definitely see?”
“Not too public,” James said. “Sirius—I don’t think he’d like that.”
She couldn’t help but think his protective instincts were sweet. Not that she would ever, ever tell him, but it was one of the few things she actually admired about him—he would protect those he called his to his last breath, she was sure.
“That’s fair,” she said. “Okay, can we think of a reason I’d have to look through his trunks? Then it’d just be in your dorm, and we could just time it so Remus is there?”
“Oh, you could get a tip about the fireworks in his trunk!”
Lily raised an eyebrow. James froze.
“You could get a fake tip about alleged fireworks in his trunk that definitely isn't true?”
“Make sure the fireworks—and any other illicit objects—aren’t in his trunk when I have to look through it,” Lily sighed, rubbing her temple. She had a feeling she would be ignoring a lot of things over the course of this endeavor.
“Of course,” he nodded earnestly. “Lily—you’re the best, seriously, the best. Sirius and Remus—they’ve been head over heels for each other since like, third year, and they’ve been miserable and pining over each other—and I know you’re not overly fond of me but they’re my best mates—”
James Potter, who had asked her out dozens of times, professed his love with dramatic speeches in front of the whole common room, who once composed a sonnet in iambic pentameter about her freckles while drunk during the Quidditch cup after party, was stumbling over his words while trying to thank for for helping him set up two of his best friends. This conversation had not gone where she expected, but she rather liked this better anyways.
“Honestly, James,” she said softly. “I love Remus too. Do I think he could have better taste in men? Probably. But as much as I think Sirius is a prat, I do think underneath it all he’s alright. And they’d be so happy together.”
James looked like he was going to burst apart at the seams. Lily had the sneaking suspicion that what she’d said meant more to him than any compliment she could’ve given him.
“You’re right, you’re absolutely right,” he grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but grin back, he was positively infectious.
They set up a time for her to make her confiscation the following week, since the upcoming weekend was the full moon, and James again promised to remove all other compromising objects from Sirius’ trunk and to plant seeds to make the story plausible.
Lily left the library with a feeling of accomplishment, having achieved her goal of getting James to help her more easily than she expected. However, she’d definitely thought teaming up with James would be more of a headache than it turned out to be. While some of his ideas were frankly ridiculous—honestly, how a house-wide drag show was supposed to get them together, she had no idea—his primary concern was definitely his friends’ happiness, and she could respect that.
Nonetheless, she still felt surreal standing outside the Marauder’s dorm a week later, hand raised to knock. She should’ve also asked James to clean up before she came, because if she saw Peter’s dirty underwear, she was going to die, Remus and Sirius’ epic love story be damned.
Taking a fortifying breath for courage, she knocked. Whatever music that’d been playing—Led Zepplin? Muggle music?—stopped abruptly, and the door swung open to reveal one confused Sirius Black.
“Evans?”
“Mr Black,” Lily said primly, summoning every ounce of her inner prefect and studiously avoiding making eye contact with James. Peter was looking at her like he’d never seen a girl in their dorms before—which was likely a reality—and Remus, she noted, was on his bed with a book, looking mildly interested in the proceedings. “Professor McGonagall heard that you were keeping illegal fireworks in your trunks and sent me to investigate.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide and he spun around to hiss something at James, which sounded like “bloody wanker,” and “know better than to talk in Transfigurations.” She thought James flipped him off in response, but she was too busy not looking at him and marching over to Sirius’ trunk to be sure.
“You can’t just look through my stuff!” Sirius protested. “That’s an invasion of privacy!”
“And fireworks are against school rules,” Lily said in her best snooty voice, and James fucking Potter actually snorted. She honestly thought he’d be better at this, with all the pranking he got up to.
“That’s what you get for chatting during Transfigurations, Pads,” Remus said dryly, returning to his book.
Peter snickered. “Yeah c’mon Padfoot, we all know better than that.”
“I wasn’t—James was the one who brought it up!” Sirius hissed indignantly. Lily thought it was cute that he thought lowering his voice meant she couldn’t hear him. She rummaged through his trunk, ignoring the piles of books and quidditch gear, wondering where exactly a teenage boy would keep dirty magazines.
“Hush Sirius, it’ll be fine.” She could practically hear James winking. What a prat. “I’m sure McGonagall misheard.”
“Aha!” Lily cried, holding up the magazines.
“Those aren’t fireworks!” Sirius cried, making a grab for them which Lily easily dodged.
“Nope, but pornography is also against the rules,” Lily said cheerfully. She almost lost it when she accidentally made eye contact with James, who looked like he was holding his breath to avoid laughing. She quickly darted away from Sirius, who was still trying to grab the magazines, and cleverly positioned herself next to Remus, who was also trying to smother laughter.
“Really, Pads?” Remus asked, letting a chuckle escape. “Classy.”
Lily began to make a show of leafing through one of the magazines, making sure to angle it so it was directly in Remus’ line of sight. “My, my, Sirius, not quite the ladies man the rumors make you out to be, hm?”
She literally felt when Remus caught sight of the decidedly not heterosexual activities going on in the magazine. He froze, sucking in a breath, and she almost didn't notice James going bright red.
“Lily, you don’t have to look through those…” he trailed off, looking uncomfortable.
Lily smirked. “Why, do you have better ones somewhere that I should be looking at?”
“What? No!” James sputtered, turning more red. Sirius snickered. “I would never—not that there’s anything wrong with Pads—I just—”
“Jamie here is straight as a rod,” Sirius said, making another attempt to grab the magazines. “And as stuck up as one, too.”
“Hey!” James yelped. “I am not!”
“You kind of are, Prongs,” Peter said, not unkindly. “Remember when you accidentally caught Frank and Alice shagging in the greenhouse? You couldn’t look either of them in the eyes for weeks.”
“You wouldn’t even say the word ‘shag’ until fourth year,” Remus teased.
“Okay—but—but—Sirius was the one who had dirty magazines!”
Lily watched in delight as James Potter grew more flustered at his own prank—well, their own prank, she should probably take at least partial responsibility—turned around and bit him on the arse.
“Who doesn’t have dirty magazines,” Peter rolled his eyes. “Besides you, I mean.”
James, still bright red, threw a pillow at Peter, who ducked, leaving the pillow to fly uninhibited into Remus’ face, which was distinctly unamused.
“Oh?” Lily asked, realizing there was a good chance they’d forget she was here if they were allowed to continue ragging on each other without check. “Should I look through your trunks as well, Pettigrew?”
“No,” Peter squeaked, eyes wide and panicked.
Sirius roared with laughter. “Go ahead and take them, Evans, since you like them so much.”
“Much obliged,” Lily nodded, struggling to keep up a veneer of dignity. She decided to make her escape before things truly descended into chaos, and headed for the door. “Stay out of trouble, boys.”
“No promises!” James called out as she closed the door, which was lucky because there was immediately a loud thud as someone presumably tackled someone else, and lots of yelling.
The Marauders were something else, that was for sure. They were loud, and obnoxious, and brash, and boyish, and charming, and just plain fun. Lily knew without a doubt that no one in the castle had more fun than those four idiots, and she could, in a funny way, admire them for that.
It was a few days before James and Lily could regroup, as the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor quidditch match was that weekend, and James was taking his role as captain more seriously than she’d seen him take anything. There were practices all the bloody time, and when there wasn’t James was usually trying to communicate the match’s importance to Sirius, who, despite being a fantastic beater, took quidditch as seriously as he did anything else, which was to say not at all.
Nonetheless, Lily was feeling quite successful with her first foray into—well, not quite pranking but definitely plotting of some kind. She quickly had her hopes dashed when Remus Lupin plopped in front of her at breakfast, with a forlorn look on his face.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, trying to be casual and concerned at the same time. Remus was definitely the one they had to be careful about, because if he caught on to her and James there would be hell to pay.
“Sirius is bi,” Remus said mournfully, picking at his bacon, looking decidedly not happy about the revelation.
“I thought that would be a good thing?”
“I thought so too, but—” he glanced around, but she and Remus were notorious early risers, one of the foundations of their friendship, and the Great Hall was nearly empty. “But if Sirius is attracted to blokes—and has been—then that means he’s probably not attracted to me.”
James and Sirius had always astounded Lily with their clearly natural brilliance, yet high capacity for stupidity. She had once witnessed James transfigure a goose into an exquisite porcelain statue of an intricate rose bush that she was pretty sure made McGonagall cry, and then turn around and tell Peter with unfailing confidence that the king of England was on vacation in the Philippines. Sirius had the uncanny ability to sleep through class, wake up to give a well-thought out answer to some obscure question, and then fall immediately back asleep. But she had always assumed Remus to be different, until now.
“What.”
“He must not be attracted to me,” he said again, projecting sadness from every pore of his body. Lily stared. It might possibly have been the dumbest thing she’d ever heard come out of Remus’ mouth.
“Why on earth would you say that?” she finally asked.
“Well, you know Padfoot,” he said, sighing dramatically. Lily wanted to throttle him. “When he wants something, he goes after it. If he was attracted to me, he would’ve at least said something by now. I mean, he’s known that I’m gay for ages.”
Lily wanted to stand on the table and shout that staring at Remus’ arse for no less than seven and a half uninterrupted minutes—yes, she and James had timed it one night in the common room—was just as good as saying something. But alas, that might scare Remus off more, and then Remus would still be sad and James would be pissed at her. When it came to Marauders’ business, it was probably best to take Marauder advice.
“There could be plenty of reasons why Sirius hasn’t said anything,” she tried instead. “After all, you haven’t made a move either.”
“Yeah, but I’m Remus, and he’s Sirius,” he said, like that explained anything. Lily wanted to bang her head against the table. If Remus—level-headed, wise Remus!—was being this thick, there was no hope for boys anywhere.
Lily breathed a sigh of relief at the arrival of James and Sirius, both decked out for early morning quidditch practice, because she was about two seconds away from throwing eggs in Remus’ face to shut him up. However, she didn’t anticipate the effect Sirius in in quidditch gear would have on Remus, and instead of lovesick sighs she now had to deal with lovesick eye fucking.
James, catching her eye from across the table, jerked his head at Remus and then made an exaggerated face mimicking his pining expression. Lily snorted into her pumpkin juice, and quickly tried to cover it up as a cough. Remus still gave her a weird look, but he was no longer undressing Sirius with his eyes so she counted it as a win.
It wasn’t until later in the afternoon, insisting that James had a book she needed (he definitively didn’t because it was currently upstairs in her trunk but oh well), that she was able to get him alone again.
“It didn’t work,” she pouted, slumping on a desk in the empty classroom he’d led her too. She was trying hard to ignore that she was in an empty classroom with James Potter, and mostly succeeding. “Remus is more convinced than ever that Sirius isn’t into him. And I honestly thought he was the smart one of your lot.”
“Yeah, Moony might be book smart, and surprisingly street smart, but when it comes to realizing people actually like him he’s a bit of a dumbass,” James admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “Took us ages to convince him we actually wanted to be his friends. Sirius could literally be proposing and Remus would still be like ‘wait, you mean you actually like me?’”
He said the last bit in a ridiculous imitation of Remus, complete with the biting of the fingernail and confused furrow of the eyebrow, and Lily couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing.
“That was good,” she said, and James was smiling at her again. Against her better judgement, she was beginning to like it.
“You should hear my McGonagall,” he winked. “I can only pull it off when I’m drunk, though. Bloody weird.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but I hope you get sloshed at the next house party.”
James laughed, full-bodied and deep. There was another thing Lily was going to take to her grave, that she actually found his laugh incredibly pleasant. She always had, but it was usually ruined by being caused by bullying Slytherins or something equally obnoxious. But in this context, him laughing at her dumb joke, it was downright dangerous.
“So what’s the next step?” she asked, mostly to get herself back on track. “How’s Sirius doing?”
“He’s alright, better for coming out, I think,” James said, looking immensely proud of his best friend. “But just as much of a dumbass as Remus, I’m afraid. He thinks that because Remus didn’t immediately snog him it means he’s not interested.”
“Boys are idiots,” Lily sighed.
James laughed again. “That we are.”
“So how do we convince they’re actually attracted to each other? Anything helpful on that list?”
He dug out the list from his bag, handing it to her. She scanned it, looking for ideas, but only half of them were even plausible.
“Seriously? Amortentia?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
“Not like, making them drink it,” he said defensively. “Let them smell it, then they realize they smell each other, then they get together and live happily ever after.”
“Except they already smelled amortentia, during Slughorn’s class demonstration at the beginning of the year,” Lily pointed out. “And that didn’t lead to any confessions of love.”
“Hm, we’ve got to think of a way to get them to tell each other what they smelled,” James mused. “Oh! What if we played truth or dare?”
“James, you have truth or dare on here,” Lily said, waving the list around. “Three times actually— it’s number three, number twelve and thirty one. And you’re even more of a dumbass than your friends if you think you can get Remus Lupin in the same room as a party game.”
“He does hate party games,” he admitted sadly. James on the other hand, as Lily knew well from merely being in the same house with him for over six years, loved party games with a passion that nearly rivaled his love for quidditch. She decided not to mention that spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven probably would also not work, and mentally crossed out five, seventeen, and twenty one. Although...
“Now seven minutes in heaven might not work as a party game,” she said, “but I hate to say shoving them in a broom closet together might actually work.”
“Really?” James asked, face lighting up. Lily could just tell he was itching to shove his two best mates into a closet together.
“Maybe,” she said. “Neither of them think the other is attracted to them, right? Well, in close quarters, pressed against each other, they might find...evidence to the contrary.”
“That could work!” Lily could tell the innuendo went right over his head, and wondered how someone could share a room with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black for so long and still be so innocent.
“How are we going to do it in a way that’s not suspicious?” she asked.
“Easy,” he said, waving his hand. “Broom cupboards are basic hiding spots when almost getting caught during a prank. We’ll have to time it right, you’ll have to bring McGonagall around at just the right moment to force them into a cupboard, but that shouldn’t be too difficult, and we already have a prank lined up—“
Lily shot him a look.
“—we do not already have a prank lined up so we’ll have to think of a fake prank that we definitely won’t go through with,” James amended.
Lily dropped the stern look and rolled her eyes. “As long as I know nothing beforehand and you understand I’m still going to yell at you when you get caught, do whatever you’d like.”
James beamed at her. “The absolute best, Lily!”
Actually, knowing the Marauders had a real prank in the works made her feel better about dragging Professor McGonagall on a wild goose hunt through the castle a few nights later. She was pleasantly surprised when they stumbled upon James and Peter, arms full of food.
“And what do you two think you’re up to at this hour?” McGonagall asked, staring them down.
James merely beamed at her. “Feeling a bit peckish, so we thought we’d go for a midnight snack.”
Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and then scrunched up her nose when James winked at her. “Just a snack?”
“Just a snack,” he said. “Treacle tart?” He offered, gently easing one off the pile of food.
“I love treacle tart,” she said as she took it automatically, before sheepishly glancing at McGonagall, who was looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Back to the dorm rooms with all of you,” she said finally. “You have classes in the morning.”
Unfortunately, she personally escorted them back to the tower, which made sense given James and Peter’s reputations, but didn’t allow Lily to ask about Sirius and Remus until they got back to the common room and James sent Peter to bed.
“We went down the right hallway at the right time,” Lily said. “And we didn’t see anyone, but I suppose that’s a good thing?”
“Yeah, and they aren’t back yet so that’s a good sign,” James nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Padfoot will definitely give something away if they’re in close quarters, he’s so obvious.”
“So I’ve be meaning to ask,” Lily said casually. She found herself reluctant to head upstairs to bed, and didn’t feel like analyzing it. “What’s with the nicknames? Moony I get, with the werewolf thing, but Padfoot?”
James had a slightly panicked look in his eye that Lily enjoyed far too much. “Well, um, you see, Sirius—well he, uh, pads around the dorm quite a bit. And, uh, has feet. So, you know, Padfoot.”
Lily supposed Sirius and Remus had to do most of the lying to cover up their pranks, because James was possibly the worst liar she’d ever encountered, including those first years who thought they could get away with sneaking a box of flobberworms into their dorm. “Ah, and here I thought it had something to do with the dog I sometimes see hanging around you lot.”
The panicked look got worse, and Lily struggled to look casual instead of smirking.
“There’s no—What dog—” James sputtered.
“And what about Prongs? And Wormtail?” Lily continued. James actually went pale, and Lily felt bad for about two seconds until she remembered the time fourth year when had tried to impress her by hexing Severus and decided that she deserved some fun too. “What’s the story behind that?”
“No story,” he said faintly. “Just—I dunno, just us messing around. No reason.”
“Nothing to do with the stag Marlene swore she saw on the quidditch pitch? Or the deer puns Sirius continuously makes?” Lily asked. She found she couldn’t help the smirk on her lips. “Or the rat you carry around, Peter’s pet rat he conveniently is never with?”
“Lily,” James whispered. He looked ashen, and maybe she had pushed it too far.
“I have my own theories, of course,” she said, looking at him carefully. She was actually quite proud of herself for figuring it out. “But I highly doubt I’m right, considering it’s extremely complicated magic, and not to mention illegal. And I highly doubt anyone would believe me if I was inclined to share.”
James let out a big breath, eyes shining with understanding and relief. “You know it’s for Moony, right?”
“Good,” she said decisively. “Good, he deserves that.”
“Don’t—don’t tell the others you figured it out,” he said, shifting nervously. “Sirius doesn’t trust you, Remus will panic, Peter will probably hide for days—”
“Figured what out?” she asked playfully, and hoped her smile was reassuring. He sent her a grateful look, before gesturing towards the stairs.
“It’s getting late, we don’t want to be here when they get back.”
“James?” Lily knew it wasn’t fair after she’d already pushed him, but she had to ask, or it would bug her and she’d never get to sleep. “One more thing?”
“Yeah?” He gave her a little smile, one she was beginning to associate with whenever she called him ‘James’ instead of ‘Potter.’
“Why’d you let yourself and Peter get caught? It wasn’t necessary to the plan, you definitely could’ve gotten away with more than just a bit of food.”
“Yeah, but that would’ve hurt your credibility,” James said, looking surprised, like he hadn’t even thought of not getting caught.
“Oh,” she said. And dammit, she was actually touched by that.
“And who’s to say we didn’t get away with something?” James asked, the familiar smirk settling on his face, and Lily couldn’t help but laugh.
“Goodnight, James,” she said, just to get that smile again.
“Goodnight, Lily.”
The next morning, Lily found out that what the Marauders has gotten away with was charming all the stone in the Great Hall a blinding hot pink. Dumbledore somehow must’ve known about it, and came to breakfast in matching robes. Lily was trying decide whether he’d changed the colour of different robes or whether he’d already had them when Remus slammed into the seat next to him
“Lily,” he said, breathing heavily.
“Yeah?” She said, trying so very hard to be casual but dying to know what happened in the broom cupboard the night before.
“You won’t believe—” Remus stopped to take a swig of pumpkin juice, and Lily seriously considered dumping it over his head.
“Yeah?” She said again, a little more forcefully.
“I think—” Remus glanced around, and Lily was honestly just going to shake his shoulders until he finished his sentence. “I think Sirius almost kissed me last night.”
Lily’s heart sank, but she tried to keep it off her face. “Almost?”
“Yeah we were out on a prank,” he gestured needlessly to the hot pink Great Hall, “when you and McGonagall walked by so we had to hide in a broom cupboard, and it was a really tight fit—”
Because she and James and specifically chosen the smallest broom cupboard in the entire castle, but that was besides the point.
“—and we were just so close, he was pressed right up against me, and I wanted to kiss him so bad, and I think he wanted to as well! He gripped my hip and I swear he started to lean in.”
“I told you!” she squealed, punching him lightly on the shoulder. “What happened?”
“Filch happened,” Remus sighed, and Lily had never hated the caretaker more. “Whipped the door open, nearly gave me a heart attack. Kind of ruined the mood.”
So close, they had been so close. Lily hoped Sirius was giving James the same story right now, because she needed someone to commiserate with.
“But that’s good, right?” Lily asked, trying to be optimistic, for herself as much as Remus. “He was about to kiss you Remus, that means he likes you!”
“That means he wants to kiss someone and I happened to be the one stuck in the cupboard with him,” Remus sighed. “Which I guess is more than I expected so that’s a win.”
This time Lily actually buried her face in her arms, slumping against the table. “Remus, almost kissing someone usually means they like you.”
“Please, he would’ve kissed anyone.” Remus, Lily was glad to note, didn’t look like he believed his own words.
“You think he would’ve kissed James? Or Peter? Or me?” she demanded.
“Okay that’s not—” Remus shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “I mean, he’s probably just exploring his sexuality. He would’ve kissed any bloke in a broom cupboard if he was sure they wouldn’t punch him for it.”
“Remus, no,” Lily protested, but couldn’t press because of the arrival of James and Sirius, again ready for early quidditch practice. Lily supposed she couldn’t fault Remus for ogling Sirius in his quidditch gear, it did look rather good on James. And Sirius, she supposed.
One look at James confirmed that he had heard the same story she had, as he made an exasperated face and a rude gesture when Sirius wasn’t looking. For their part, Remus and Sirius were pointedly acting super casual, having an exciting conversation about passing the toast.
James’ day, as he related as they went about their Head Boy and Head Girl duties later that night, went much the same.
“Sirius was relieved! He was actually relieved he got caught by Filch!” James sounded personally offended. “Said it would’ve been the worst thing he could’ve done and it would’ve ruined their whole friendship!”
“Remus thinks Sirius would’ve kissed any bloke in a cupboard,” Lily added dryly.
“What? Sirius has never tried to kiss me in a cupboard!” James cried, indignant.
“You spend a lot of time in cupboards with Sirius?” Lily teased. James stuck his tongue out at her, the mature git he was.
“Wait,” he said, stopping. “Why hasn’t Padfoot tried to kiss me in a broom cupboard? Am I not good enough for him?”
“James, you’re straight,” Lily felt the need to point out. “And you consider him your brother.”
“Well yeah, but I’m attractive, right?” He pouted, running his hand through his hair and checking his reflection in a suit of armor.
“Maybe you’re not Sirius’ type,” Lily suggested as she hid a smile. “Apparently, he goes for soft dorks in jumpers.”
“But everyone likes quidditch players,” he whined, giving up on his hair and turning back to her so they could continue on rounds. “Except you of course,” he added hastily, and Lily’s cheeks went pink entirely without her permission.
“They’re not so bad,” she murmured, and politely ignored him pumping his fist behind her. “Now, what are we going to do about Remus and Sirius?”
“Well, we have to get them to kiss,” James said. “They kiss, they snog, they talk about their feelings, and then bam! They’re together.”
“I’m fairly certain you missed a step between snogging and talking about their feelings,” Lily teased, entirely to see James blush. “It’s really sweet that you’re trying to get your mates laid.”
“I’m not—they—” he sputtered, making her laugh. He took a breath and summoned whatever composure he could muster. “Sirius and Remus can do whatever they’d like to, on their own time.”
“You know they’re probably going to ‘do whatever they’d like’ in your dorm room, right?”
James went bright red. Lily smirked. This was fun.
“Who do you think would top?” she asked casually.
“Kissing!” James yelled. “We need to get Remus and Sirius to kiss and they’re only going to kiss for the rest of their lives!”
“Oh Merlin,” Lily gasped, trying to suck in air between bouts of laughter. James was glaring at her. “You’re such a prude!”
“I am—I am not!” He protested, face still bright red. “C’mon now, back on subject. I think we should go with the mistletoe idea, that’s the easiest, least suspicious way to get them to kiss—are you done yet?”
“Yes, yes,” Lily said, pulling herself together. “Mistletoe, great idea, they should be decorating the castle in the next week or so.”
“Alright, when they decorate the common room we’ll add some enchanted mistletoe that won’t let you leave until you kiss.” James glances warily at her. “That I’ll definitely have to look up, because I definitely don’t already know how to do it.”
“Of course,” Lily smiled at his goofy grin, then stopped. “Wait, the mistletoe will grab anybody? And not let them go until they kiss?”
“Well yeah,” James shrugged. “It would be way too obvious if it was just Padfoot and Moony.”
“What if it traps two people who don’t want to kiss?” What if it traps a couple of first years? What if it traps a first year and a seventh year?” Lily bit her lip. “Maybe this isn’t the best option.”
“Nah, I think I can tweak the spell so it’s based on mutual attraction,” he assured her. “And besides, I’ll give you the counterspell.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. “You’ll give me the counterspell?”
James turned around. “Well yeah?”
He said it with so much conviction, like it was a given, like he never even considered not giving her the counterspell, like she didn’t even need to ask for it. She was suddenly furious, furious that James fucking Potter, the most arrogant toerag at Hogwarts, who was so full of himself, who was so rude, and obnoxious, and irritating, was actually secretly thoughtful. The nerve.
“Thanks,” she managed, hopefully masking her inner turmoil. He smiled at her again, and her gut twisted further.
Returning to the common room, she bid James goodnight before curling up in her bed and shutting the curtains to do all the thinking she’d been avoiding.
James Potter was not what she expected. He was fiercely protective of his friends, which she had known, but the depths surprised her. He was careful not to spook Remus, respectful of his boundaries and understanding his hesitations but not handling him with kid gloves. And James was careful to let Sirius keep up his carefully curated image but not let him go too far, protecting the privacy Sirius pretended he didn’t have.
And James Potter was thoughtful! That had blown her away. But he cared so much about his friends and wanted so badly for Sirius and Remus to be happy together. And he was so good about including her while still respecting her position as Head Girl. And his own position as Head Boy! She might even go so far to call him responsible, which was a bizarre concept.
Also, she was loath to admit but needed to be honest with herself, James Potter was attractive. Very attractive. Irritatingly attractive. She could definitely understand why Remus got so distracted by Sirius in his quidditch gear, although she hoped she was a tad less obvious when checking out James. His messy hair, which had formally struck her as disorganized, now seemed endearing, of all possible things. And his smile—his real smile, not the smirk that came after a prank that infuriated her so, but the real smile he gave her when she said something clever or nice about his friends, that smile made her heart stop.
James Potter has changed. Or, she mused, maybe he had always been like this, and she had never gotten close enough to see. She wasn’t sure which it was, and found herself regretting that she might not find out.
“Oi, Lily?”
The curtains pulled open to reveal Mary and Marlene.
“What are you doing in bed so early?” Mary asked, waving around the deck of cards, reminding Lily of the poker game she’d agreed to earlier.
“I think I might fancy James Potter,” Lily said miserably.
“Are you fucking kidding me Evans?” Marlene yelled, while Mary positively cackled. “A month, you couldn’t have waited one month for this revelation?!”
“You owe me ten galleons!” Mary said gleefully. “I won the pot!”
“The pot?” Lily demanded, despair discarded in favor of outrage.
“Oh yeah, we’ve had a bet going on when you’ll realize you’ve got the hots for Potter since like, fourth year,” Marlene shrugged, shoving her way onto an irate Lily’s bed. “Which I just lost, thank you very much.”
“Fourth year?” Lily said faintly.
“Oh honey,” Mary said, patting her knee. “It’s okay, you got there eventually.”
Lily spent the next hour of her life being interrogated by her so-called friends, and having to repeat the story every time someone new came into the 7the year girls’ dorm.
“Wait, what?” Alice asked, eyes wide.
“I might have some slight feelings of the affectionate nature for James Potter,” Lily grumbled.
“Oh! So Mary won the pot!” Alice fist bumped Mary, who smirked triumphantly.
“I still don’t think it’s fair,” Emmeline Vance huffed. “She changed her wager at the beginning of the year! She should’ve stuck with her original one, like the rest of us.”
“Okay, how many people were in on this bet?” Lily demanded and then immediately changed her mind after seeing the look on Mary’s face. “Actually, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
“So what changed?” Dorcas Meadowes asked, leaning forward. “Was it the long nights of doing Head Boy and Girl duties together?”
“No,” Lily sniffed.
“Him defending those muggle born second years from that slimy git Nott?” Mary suggested.
“No,” Lily said slowly. She hadn’t even heard about that—why hadn’t she heard about that?
“Seeing him all sweaty after quidditch practice?” Emmeline asked, waggling her eyebrows.
“No,” Lily lied.
“Then what was it!” Marlene actually took her by the shoulders and shook her, which was not smart considering Lily knew where she slept and now had some experience pranking. “We have a right to know!”
“You most certainly do not,” Lily rolled her eyes. “But if you must know, we’ve been trying to help out a mutual friend, and he’s been surprisingly...sweet about it.”
Mary raised her eyebrows. “Mutual friend?”
“For the sake of the privacy of someone who is neither me nor James, I’m not going to give you any details about that,” Lily said primly, ignoring the protests.
The next few days were awful, her terrible friends taking every opportunity to make rude gestures and noises whenever she was in the same room as James, and she was seriously considering whether or not it was too late to transfer to a different house.
“Are your friends...okay?” James asked tentatively in Charms one morning. Mary and Marlene were fake making out in the corner while pointedly making contact with her and James.
“Those people are dead to me,” Lily said coldly. James took a step back, eyeing her warily, before turning back to charming a loudly complaining Sirius’ hair yellow.
Finally the castle was decorated for Christmas and Lily was relieved she could distract herself from her newfound crush on James—who she swore was getting more attractive by the day, the inconsiderate bastard—with trying to set up Remus and Sirius.
“I’ve got mistletoe!” James was also apparently feeling the holiday spirit, bursting into the empty classroom they’d claimed as their meeting spot. “Just finished enchanting it, should work just fine.”
Before Lily could get a word out, he threw a piece of mistletoe in the air and suddenly she was magically rooted to the spot.
“James!” she cried out loudly. This was not the plan, this was definitely not the plan. A week of being aware that James Potter was not an arrogant toerag was not nearly enough time to come to terms with kissing him—
He was laughing at her, and thankfully the mistletoe was kind enough to let her shove him, if not get further than two feet away.
“Sorry, that was a bit mean,” he winced, but the effect was a bit ruined by his chuckling. “Extrico.”
“What?” Lily asked, a bit frantic.
“The counterspell, it’s extrico,” James said, calmed down now but searching her eyes for something. “I thought you’d want to try it out to make sure it works?”
And there he went again, being thoughtful in the most James Potter way possible. “Extrico.”
Instantly she was able to move and took a few steps back. James was still looking at her, concerned.
“You alright?” He made a move to step forward, but apparently thought better of it and stopped. “That was really rather mean of me, I should’ve given a proper warning, I was just excited to show you—”
“No, it’s alright,” Lily said. She was so, so angry at the sinking feeling of disappointment in her stomach. Curse James Potter for making her want to kiss him. “It’ll work brilliantly, I’m sure.”
James beamed at her, and started excitedly explaining how the enchantment worked. She was once again shocked at this boy, who could puzzle out such a complex spell, but also, for idea number eighteen, had written “Glue Remus’ hand to Sirius’ pants.”
Lily might’ve known that the whole of Gryffindor, the house of impulse, reckless idiots, would be delighted by enchanted mistletoe. James was sitting in the armchair by the fireplace, watching the proceedings with an unholy glee when Lily walked in.
She rolled her eyes at his excited wave, and started to make her way over to him when she was stopped in her tracks.
“Pucker up Lilykins!” Marlene shouted, giving Lily a messy kiss before she could protest. Instantly she felt the spell release.
“How many people have you kissed, Marlene?” Lily asked, laughing.
“Honestly, I lost count after six,” she giggled, then pushed Lily in James’ direction, prancing away without acknowledging Lily’s rude gesture.
She suddenly didn’t want to be anywhere near James with enchanted mistletoe around, but a quick glance told her it was hovering above Frank and Alice, who were definitely free by now but probably just snogging for the hell of it.
“So how many people have you had to kiss?” Lily asked as she curled up on the sofa next to James’ chair. This was a safe distance, probably.
“Just Frank,” James said. “Oi, Frank! Is Alice a better kisser than me?”
Frank untangled himself from Alice just enough to flip James off.
“Any other interesting pairings?”
“Other than Marlene going for every single person who walks in the room?” James laughed. “Emmeline and Frank, Emmeline and Alice, Mary and Alice, a couple of fifth years who I’m pretty sure are dating, Dorcas and Peter, which was weird—”
“Not really, they’ve been secretly shagging for weeks now,” Lily giggled.
“What?!” James cried, shocked. “That prick! He never told me!”
“Didn’t tell me either, I caught them going at it in the astronomy tower two weeks ago,” she said. James was a bit pink, she was happy to see. “They’ve been bribing me with chocolates to keep quiet.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “Definitely going to tease him later about that, can’t believe he didn’t tell me. Oh, and it turns out if it catches anyone under fourth year, they can get out by kissing on the cheek. Caught a couple of first years, it was adorable.”
“That’s good,” Lily said, glad that no disasters had occurred considering— “Hey, does this count as my first prank?”
James beamed at her, with the joy of a thousand suns bursting through his face. Lily didn’t think she’d ever seen him so happy. She was honestly surprised she didn’t melt on the spot, although she suspected, had she been standing, her knees would be quite wobbly.
“Lily!” He exclaimed. “Your first prank! I’m—I’m so proud.” He pretended to wipe away a tear and she batted at his arm.
“Oh hush,” she said. “Look, here comes Remus and Sirius.”
Her part of the plot had been assigning Remus and Sirius detention. Remus—who usually avoided ending up in detention through a combination of a really good innocent face, excellent lying, and the desperate hope from professors that at least one of the Marauders was respectable—had looked at her with a deep sense of betrayal, which Lily just shrugged off. It was for a good cause, he would forgive her later.
James squealed— James Potter actually made the most adorable, excited squealing noise, and Lily was so done with everything— and grabbed her arm, which Lily also tried not to think about. “Oh my god. The mistletoe. It’s working.”
Lily tore her gaze away from his hand gripping her arm to look at Sirius and Remus, trapped just inside the common room.
“What in the bloody hell?” Sirius asked, looking bewildered. Remus narrowed his eyes at her and Lily immediately looked away, back at James, who was grinning like a loon.
“Enchanted mistletoe!” he called gleefully. “You have to kiss!”
Lily could feel the full force of Remus’ glare, but chose to focus on Sirius instead.
“Prongs,” he cried, hand clasped against his heart in typical Sirius Black fashion. “You planned a prank without me?”
James shrugged, unaffected, with his trademark smirk still on his face. “That’s what you get for having detention you prat. Now c’mon and kiss Moony.”
Sirius rolled his eyes before turning back to Remus and planting a big, sloppy kiss on the mouth.
It lasted all of five seconds, and Lily swore James didn’t breath for a single one of them.
“You’re welcome, Moony,” Sirius said loudly as he stepped back. He made a dramatic bow, soaking in the various cheers and wolf whistles coming from the common room, but Lily could see the way his hands were slightly shaking, the way his eyes were desperately searching Remus’ face.
Remus himself looked quite dazed, fingers absently coming up to softly touch his lips, eyes glued on Sirius. As Lily watched, he shook himself and took a few steps back, bumping into the portrait hole.
She was too far away to hear them over the general chatter of the common room as the mistletoe went after a couple of sixth years who had been in an on-again, off-again relationship, but a flustered Remus gestured back out into the hallway before mumbling what was probably an excuse and disappeared out the common room.
Sirius stood there, staring at the door, baffled, for a few long seconds before bolting out the door.
“Shit.”
James’ voice surprised her, she was so wrapped up in Sirius and Remus. His hand was still gripping her arm, she noted, and shivered pleasantly.
“Shit,” she agreed. “Should we follow them? Is that invasive?”
“Hold on,” James said, standing up and tugging her up too. “I have an idea.”
He took her hand—three months ago she would’ve smacked him for trying to take her hand and here now it was giving her butterflies—and led her up the stairs to the boy’s’ dorms.
“James?”
“Right, sorry, it’s in my trunk, just let me grab it,” he said, dropping her hand to bust into his dorms and rifle through his trunk. Setting aside her confusion, as she’d demand James to explain once he found what he was looking for, she glanced around the dorm, amused to see it was significantly messier than the last time she was here. She imagined James, in a frenzy, cleaning up the other Marauders’ mess, and snorted.
“What? Oh yeah, Padfoot’s a slob, I gave up on him in like, third year,” he said, waving dismissively at the worst corner, which was only marginally better than the other two. James’ area, Lily noticed, was actually quite tidy. “Here, now we can—”
He cut himself off, a parchment in his hand and a conflicted look on his face.
“I won’t share your secrets,” Lily said quietly, surprised to find she really, really meant it. James smiles softly at her before unfolding the parchment on his bed.
“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good,” he whispered, tapping the parchment with his wand. A beautiful map of Hogwarts unfurled from the center and Lily gasped, leaning in. She could see names, everywhere, of classmates and professors and little footsteps—
“James—” She wasn’t quite sure what to ask.
“It’s a map of the castle,” he explained as he flipped through the folds. “Shows everyone inside, too.”
“James,” Lily said again, not even bothering to keep the awe out of her voice. “This is incredible—this is ridiculously complicated magic—”
“Tell me about it, it took us most of fourth year to make it,” he said absently, still searching.
“Fourth year?”
“Here they are!” He cried triumphantly, and held the map up for her to see.
She looked, and saw Sirius and Remus’ names in an empty Great Hall. “That’s no good,” she said, sighing.
“What?” James asked, tossing the map back in the bed. “We can go spy on them, see what happens! Maybe they’ll kiss again, but for real this time!”
“They’re in the Great Hall,” she pointed out, and decided to ignore the invasion of privacy part because they had been so far. “There’s only one way in, those huge doors which they’ll definitely notice us opening.”
“Shit, you’re right,” he said, deflating.
“I hate to say it,” Lily said, and found she did actually hate to say it, because all this sneaking around, all the plotting, was actually quite fun. “But maybe it’s time to let them sort it out on their own.”
James let out a noise of frustration, and then sighed. “You’re probably right. Remus was upset, and Sirius always makes him talk about it when he’s upset. They’ll have to confront it. And Remus will make Sirius be serious about the whole thing, he’s good at that.”
Lily was tempted to make a Sirius-serious joke, and then realized she was probably spending too much time with the Marauders as a whole.
“They’ll be okay,” she said instead. “We know they have feelings for each other, it’ll work out.”
“I know,” James sighed. “I just—I don’t know, I just want to make sure, you know? They’re my best mates, they deserve to be happy, they deserve to be happy with each other. Neither of them have had particularly easy lives, what with Sirius’ family and Remus’ lycanthropy…”
He trailed off, looking positively forlorn. It wasn’t a look Lily liked on him.
“You’re right, they do deserve to be happy.” Lily sighed. “But you can’t make them happy, they have to find it for themselves, you can’t do it for them.”
“I wish I could,” he grumbled. He kicked the leg of his bed. “I wish I could just—make everyone happy. Fix everything. Make it all better. I can’t just—I can’t just do nothing, watch my friends be miserable when I know I can do something about it!”
James Potter, Lily decided, was the sweetest boy on the planet.
“You help. You help them—James, the Marauders wouldn’t exist without you,” she said, trying to sort out what she wanted to say. “Sirius would be a mess with his family if he didn’t have you, Remus would be struggling all alone, too proud to ask for help, and Peter probably would probably be sucked into the wrong crowd. James, you might not be able to do everything for your friends, but you do so, so much, and are so important to this school.”
She stopped. She hadn’t meant to go that far, say that much, but with the way James was looking at her, the light in his eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
“Thanks,” he said quietly. “I think I needed that.”
“Anytime,” she smiled. “I’m always happy to talk to sense into you.”
“So no more plotting then?” he asked, hesitation all over his face. Lily felt the same hesitation under her skin.
“Well, maybe not about Remus and Sirius,” she said. “And, of course, nothing that interferes with Head Boy and Girl duties, and nothing that humiliates anyone—”
James scooped her into a hug which she imagined was the physical equivalent of one of his smiles. “The absolute best, Lily, you’re the absolute best.”
He stepped back, cheeks pink. She coughed a little, her own face warm.
Flailing just a little bit, clearly looking for something to do with his hands, James reached for the map and his wand. “Mischief—wait, where’d they go?”
Lily came over to look, and if she stood a bit closer to him then necessary, well, then, that was her business. “Shit—the common room—shit, they’re in the hallway—”
“Fuck,” James swore, eyes wide. “Hide! They can’t find you here, they’ll know—”
“Where?” She hissed. The boys’ dorms didn’t have dressers like the girls’ and she sure as hell wasn’t getting in a trunk—
Footsteps echoed in the hallway. Before Lily could say another word, James grabbed her by the waist and pulled her under his bed.
“James!” She squeaked, and he had just enough time to clap his hand over her mouth before they heard the door swing open.
“I know, I know—Padfoot!” Remus’ voice was happy and full of laughter, Lily was happy to note, deciding to look on the bright side of being trapped under a bed with James Potter.
“I don’t care if you know, I’ll say it a thousand times a day because a truth so wonderful deserves to be said aloud,” Sirius declared. Because of the bedding, she could only just barely see the bottoms of their shoes, and they seemed to be standing very close together. Lily decided to focus on that rather than the fact that she and James were effectively spooning. “Your arse is the best thing I’ve ever seen, felt, or tasted, and I’m looking into taking out an ad in the Daily Prophet so everyone will know.”
James jolted behind Lily, and she could literally feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. She sniggered, only for him to glare at her and put his hand back over his mouth.
“Don’t you dare, Pads, I’ll kill you.” Remus’ voice lacked its usual dry bite, and he made a noise that Lily was fairly certain was a result of Sirius groping his arse.
That noise was followed by the noise of what was presumably snogging. Sirius let out a low moan, and Lily turned around for the sole purpose of waggling her eyebrows at James to see if he could turn a brighter shade of red. She found it impressive that she could see the red on his cheeks in the darkness under the bed.
“You know I mean it though, right Moony?” Sirius, breathless, sounded more sincere than she’d ever heard before. “I love you, Moony, you’re it for me, there’s no one else, there’s never been, never will be—“
Sirius was cut off by more snogging noises and Lily swore if there had been room James would’ve pumped his fist.
“Fuck, you too Padfoot, you’re everything.” Remus’ voice was wrecked, and Lily felt herself blush a little at hearing her friend sound like that. “Get on the bed.”
James stiffened in alarm next to her, and this time she was glad for his hand over her mouth because she definitely would’ve given them away without it.
“My bed’s got too much stuff on it,” Sirius whined.
“My bed, then.”
“Your bed’s still dirty from this morning.”
This morning?
“Fine, then, James’ bed is clean.” Lily, in the small part of her brain that wasn’t panicking, could hear Remus rolling his eyes.
James jerked violently, looking like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to run away screaming or disintegrate on the spot.
The bed sprigs above them bounced, and James made his decision, which luckily Lily caught soon enough to slap a hand over his mouth, only letting out a muffled shout.
They both froze, but the moans and jostling above them didn’t falter, and if anything got louder.
“Clothes off, Sirius,” Remus growled.
“You too—” Sirius sounded frantic. “You too, I wanna see—”
“Lily,” James hissed, panic all over his face. “We can’t stay here!”
“It was your idea to hid under the bed!” she shot back. A particularly loud groan—Remus this time—interrupted them, and James whimpered.
“I’m not going to lay here and listen to my best mates have sex in my bed!” He might’ve sounded indignant if he hadn’t been so flustered.
“Wait a minute,” Lily said. Those—those bastards. “Wait a minute.”
“Lily what—” James started, but Lily wriggled out of his grip and out from under the bed.
Sirius and Remus—slightly disheveled, but fully clothed—met her glare with wide grins.
“You absolute wankers!” she shouted, grabbing something quidditch related from James’ desk and hurling it at them. “You bloody tossers! Complete and utter pricks!”
Sirius lost it, dissolving into laughter. Even Remus started chuckling.
James extracted himself from under the bed, still a deep shade of red. “What the hell, Lily?”
“You were under the bed!” Sirius wheezed, rolling on his back.
“This gits have been—have been—” Lily wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt this angry. “—pranking us!”
James whipped his head around to stare at them in shock. “What?”
“Guilty as charged, Prongs,” Remus admitted, although the smug look on his face didn’t really convey guilt.
“You’re not—wait, so you two aren’t—” His face dropped, and Lily swore she was going to personally feed them both to the giant squid.
“No, we are.” Remus glanced fondly over to Sirius, who was still in hysterics. Lily let out a relieved breath, and mentally changed her plans to just maiming instead of murder. The whole relationship being a fake—that would’ve really broken James’ heart. “Have been, since this summer.”
“Wait, really?” James face lit up again. He bounded over to tackle them with a huge hug. “That’s brilliant!”
Well, James might be easily placated, but Lily wasn’t. Just as she opened her mouth to demand what they hell they thought they’d been doing, the door burst open.
“Oh, James and Lily figured it out?” Peter asked. Sirius shrieked with laughter again.
“Peter knew?” Now James sounded properly offended, Lily noted with satisfaction.
“Peter figured it out the first week of school,” Remus said dryly.
“So what was the point of keeping it a secret?” Lily demanded, voice sharp. She still felt very put off. “Why didn’t you just go ahead and tell everyone?”
“Ah well, at first we just wanted to see how long it would take James to notice,” Remus admitted, a bit sheepish. “Which, seriously Prongs, I can’t believe you never picked up on it.”
“Wait,” James said. “Wait, is that why you and Sirius were sharing a bed all the time?”
Sirius, who had almost calmed down, was set off again.
“Sharing a bed isn’t—isn’t always like that!” James protested. “Sirius and I do sleepovers all the time—Peter sometimes has nightmares—”
“Hey!” Peter looked embarrassed, glancing at Lily, who hoped she looked comforting instead of amused.
“And then?” She prompted. She had a feeling these boys often got sidetracked, and wondered how they got anything done. “Why on earth would you come tell me you had a crush on Sirius if you were already shagging him?”
“They’re not shagging,” James said weakly. “Just—Just kissing, and holding hands.”
“They’re definitely shagging, Prongs,” Peter said morosely. “I’ve walked in on them too many time to pretend otherwise.”
James made a pained noise.
“I think you know why, Evans,” Sirius grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “And I reckon it worked, too.”
This time Lily blushed.
“Wait, what?” James straightened. “You prats, I told you to stop—”
“And what right do you have to meddle in my love life?” Lily asked, furious.
Remus raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, fair point.” She deflated.
“No, that’s not a fair point,” James said crossing his arms and looking as pissed as she’d ever seen him. “I told you guys I wasn’t—that she—I didn’t want—”
He glanced at her, and Lily got the feeling that he wished she wasn’t here for this part of the conversation.
Well, too bad.
“You what?” she asked, turning towards him and blocking out Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
“I wasn’t going to pursue you anymore,” he said. His eyes were glued to his feet. “You obviously don’t want anything to do with me, romantically, and pushing you wasn’t going to help, and wasn’t fair to you anyways, so this past summer I decided to give up and try to get over you.”
Lily bit her lip. “Try?”
“It’s kind of hard, you’re bloody incredible,” James laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “And then we started hanging out and that didn’t help, but I swear I will, eventually, because being friends with you is the best, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
He finally glanced at her, eyes sincere and pleading, and Lily cursed the day she decided to approach him in the library, because James Potter was going to be the end of her.
“Fuck, Sirius was right,” she sighed.
“Wait, I was?” Sirius asked. Remus smacked him.
“About what?” James asked.
“It worked, and we’re never going to hear the end of it.”
With that, she took a step forward, grabbed James by the tie, and pulled him down so she could finally, finally kiss him.
She felt him freeze against her, then all at once he moved, gathering her up in his arms and kissing her back. Kissing James, like all things James-related, blew expectations out of the water. She felt it to the tips of her toes, the ends of her hair, her fingers tingled with it as they insistently pulled him closer.
Eventually the loud whooping in the background grew too much to ignore, and she drew back, slightly more dazed than she’d be likely to admit.
“Alright, alright,” James said, and Lily caught a glimpse of his pink cheeks before he pulled her to his chest, setting his chin on the top of her head. Lily knew, on some instinctive level, that he would never let go as long as it was in his power to hold her, and she was surprisingly okay with that. “Shut up, you bastards.”
“Are you kidding me?” Sirius shouted, literally bouncing on his feet. “This is a monumental day in history! And completely because of my brilliant idea!”
“It was Remus’ idea,” Peter said.
Sirius continued without pause. “We’re going to celebrate this day for decades! I’ve already got the forms to make this a national holiday, I just have to add the date—”
Remus caught Sirius by the collar before he could start rooting around his trunk. “Chill for a second, Pads, give them a minute.”
“Fine then, I’m going to collect on that bet I just won,” Sirius sniffed and left the room. Distantly, Lily heard him shout something she was going to pretend like she didn’t hear clearly, and then the common room burst into cheers.
“Another bet?” Lily moaned. Gryffindor was the absolute worst, maybe Hufflepuff was accepting new students.
“Another bet?” James echoed. He seemed content just hugging her, and she wasn’t about to complain.
“Nope, first bet,” she said quickly. “No other bets, this is definitely the first bet I’ve heard of.”
Remus snorted. “Sure, Lily, we can go with that.”
“Please,” Peter piped up. “Remus was in with Mary on that bet, he got half the pot.”
“What!?” Lily shrieked.
“Wormtail, you little shit!” Remus growled, and Peter wisely left the room before the book Remus threw made contact.
“What bet?” James asked again, pulling back slightly to look Lily in the eye.
“There was no bet!” She insisted. Remus snorted again so she threw a pillow at him.
“There’s been a bet about when Lily would realize her feelings for you since fourth year,” Remus called as he left the room. “Mary and I won two weeks ago!”
“Remus!”
“Fourth year?” James smirked, taking the newly empty room as an opportunity to pull her close again.
“In my defense, I didn’t figure it out until a couple weeks ago,” she sighed. “And also in my defense, you were a prat until this year.”
James laughed. “Okay, that’s fair.”
They stood there for a few moments, not quite ready to face what sounded like an impromptu party in the common room. James was pressing little kisses to the top of her head, and she really didn’t know how she’d missed how sweet he was.
“So?” she asked eventually.
“So?” he repeated.
“How are we going to get them back?”
He beamed at her. “Get some parchment, I have some ideas.”