Chapter Text
Wake Me With the Morning Light
Dean rolled his eyes at Sam for the hundredth time as Sam tried to "headshrink" him again as they drove the Impala to Bobby's house. They were attending a rare and much needed gathering of the hunters in their circle to celebrate a downward slope in demonic activity. They all knew the bell would eventually swing in the other direction sooner or later, so no time like the present to get together for work without working.
"I still don't see why we can't just lay low, maybe sit this one out." Dean said in response to Sam's enthusiasm for connecting with the other hunters and throwing back some beers.
"Come on, Dean, you know you will be fine once you have a cold one in one hand and a girl in the other." Sam said, smiling at his brother.
Dean merely grunted at that.
Sam turned to glance at Dean, head cocked to the side. He asked, all seriousness, "There somethin' bothering you?"
Dean looked out his window as they turned down the road that would end their long journey from their last case. "Not really, Sam. Just in my head that's all."
"That's cool. Wish you'd let me in there sometimes." Sam said, truthfully.
"I know ya do. Gotta keep some things for ourselves though. Now, that's enough of the girly talk, let's get the party started." Dean said as they pulled to a stop.
The Sun was beginning to go down and their legs felt good getting out of the car as they headed to the door of the house, letting themselves in.
They were met with the sound of cheers from several of the hunters. And more than a few stares from the girls and women that were invited along. Sam spoke up and said, "Hey, fellas. Who do we have to kill for a drink around here?"
A guy that Sam recognized well came up, clapping him on the back pulling him to the center of the group and Dean smiled, hands in his pockets heading toward the unoccupied kitchen. He was familiar enough with the house and its where he knew how to self-serve.
"Sam said something has been eatin' at ya for a little while, son." Dean turned, beer in hand to face Bobby in the doorway, alone in his chair.
"Jesus, what is this, an intervention?Huh?" Dean asked, deflecting.
"Now don't get yer panties all in a twist, just remember that you're here to be in good company with people who understand what it's like. Take advantage of that before you go feelin' sorry for yerself and have a good time, why don'tcha?"
With that Bobby wheeled off, but before he left, he said, "And by the way, before you go and have yourself a private pityparty, I think there's somebody here you'll wanna see."
Slightly intrigued, Dean said, "What the hell."
He walked out there back to the crowd and he scanned the room more carefully this time before landing on who Bobby clearly had meant.
In the corner off to the side, not talking to a single person was the first angel Castiel.
Staring intently back at Dean, Castiel's neck angled in a way that was not natural for any person to do. But that was Cas.
"Cas, how are ya, bud?" Dean asked approaching him.
Castiel slowly walked to Dean and awkwardly moved his arms to pat Dean's back as Dean embraced him.
Sam watched this and winced, wishing Dean was capable of being this demonstrative always. At least with him.
Alot of the other hunters scowled. Some of them didn't even know who this stranger was. Even among those that did, some of them had never encountered an Angel even in their line of work. Only Sam and Bobby truly understood.
"Dean. It is good to see you once again." Castiel said, in his dark foreboding tone that wasn't much fun.
"It really is." Dean said pulling back taking him in. It had been a long while that their paths had intersected, especially given the decline in the level of bad he and Sam had been fighting lately.
"Listen, why don't we take a walk outside?" Dean said with a smirk.
"I will go wherever is necessary." Castiel replied.
As Dean turned around, he found a few conversations had paused and felt eyes upon them and he made to move for the door, not really caring about the opinions of others at the moment. Cas followed Dean, taking no notice at all.
Melissa, the wife of one of the other hunters they were somewhat close with asked "What's with your brother and that guy?"
"Oh, Cas saved Dean from hell once upon a time. They've had a "profound bond" ever since. That's all."
Most of the room took that in and were suddenly a lot less suspicious or judgemental.
"Right." She said before turning back.
The party resumed, and before long, it was dark outside.
As Dean and Castiel walked, they found a log that was dry and solid off to the side away from the house and the driveway and Dean sat, gesturing for Cas to join him. "Never been much for big crowds." Dean said, drinking his beer.
Castiel mirrored Dean's actions and drank, because he thought he socially should more so than because he wanted a drink. "I've been a part of a host for over 1000 years. And I have to say I find my alone time more agreeable also."
Dean smiled at that. "Where have you been?" He asked, genuinely interested and not irritated.
"Now Dean, you know that I cannot answer that question without knowing precisely when we are discussing."
"It's a turn of phrase, I guess. It just means I care aboutcha and just.." Castiel stared into Dean's eyes, unblinking. "I just wanted to know, that's all." Dean finished.
"I care about where you go too, Dean." Castiel said.
Dean gulped, then made for his beer again. Castiel's eyes did not leave Dean's face.
"You know I've been thinking: I'm 34 years old, and-I've never been in a real relationship before."
"You've had many partners, Dean. I assumed you had not selected one because of your hunt." Castiel said.
Dean nodded, "That's a big part of it. Can't get too attached, someone will get hurt. And that's if something supernatural doesn't happen."
Castiel said nothing to this, not sure what the direction was or what the socially correct response should be. This conversation was headed in a direction that was beyond his millenia of experience.
"Listen, I uh-I'm really glad, you came here tonight." Dean said.
"Yes, you said that. I can tell that there is more you want to say." Castiel said.
Dean turned toward him his face warning. Castiel responded before Dean could speak. "I can determine that without the need to read your soul. I've learned how to read you."
Dean smiled softly at that, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. "I can read you too, Cas. And you're right. There's sure as hell more."
Castiel watched every movement of Dean intently, as he always did, and Dean noticed. "I like the way you look at me."
Castiel replied, "How is it I look at you that's different than humans look at you?"
Dean thought about it, "It's like when you look at me, you see all of me. And how I am is ok. The good and the bad."
"How you are is ok."
Dean smiled at him again. Castiel smiled back at the response written on Dean's face. "I want to know how you feel when I look at you."
Castiel suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I-it's difficult for me to answer that Dean."
"Oh." Dean said, looking at his beer bottle slightly disappointed. Castiel, not knowing what to say to make Dean smile again, started to stumble. "Well, but there's-I-" "It's ok, Cas. I get it, I'm just a human. You don't have to apologise." Dean said, no edge at all in his voice.
"No, Dean. It's difficult to answer how I am feeling because I often do not know what I feel when I am around you."
At that, Dean smiled again, and Castiel was pleased. Dean regarded the angel in front of him before saying softly. "I'd like to try somethin' between us, Cas. If you'll have me."
Castiel stared at Dean with even more intensity than before. "I want to have you, Dean. I do not know how to make that happen."
Dean put his left arm around Castiel's shoulder and gently pulled until Cas' head was leaning on his shoulder, and his head was on top of Castiel's.
"We can figure it out together like we always do." Dean said.
"I am open to your instruction in this area." Castiel said.
"Cas, I'm not lookin to tell you what to do here. I just want you to share with me what's inside."
After a moment of silence, Castiel moved his hand slightly, tentatively in the direction of Dean's. Dean boldly took Castiel's and quietly interlaced their fingers. This small simple connection was like fire for them both, especially for Castiel. "I don't know what it is I am feeling. You make me want to experience this world."
Dean gulped at that. This was more than he had felt for any other person and he was out of his league here as well. "Same here."
Meanwhile, Bobby looked around at the room of people in various corners and rooms and glanced at his phone at the time. It had been almost an hour and a half since Dean had gone out with the angel so he moved his chair outside quietly onto the porch and looked around until he saw them sitting, under the full moon and the light from the pole overhead nearby. "Oh my." He said to himself, taking a sip of his own drink at the intimate site in front of him.
Going back inside, he came across Sam. "Hey, have you seen Dean?"
Bobby, still absorbed in the sight he had witnessed, replied, "Oh, I seen him alright."
Sam eyed him wondering what was up, "Well, good. Did he seem pissed to you, I wanted him to enjoy this party. And I thought asking you to bring Cas here would be a good thing for him since they haven't seen each other in a while. Now I'm thinking it may have been a mistake if all they're going to do is talk shop out there."
Bobby looked up at Sam, carefully considering how he should answer, "I don't think you have to worry too much about that part."
Sam, tired of the cryptic crap, "What are you talking about?"
"Just go outside Sam. Some things it's better just to see for yourself than to hear from somebody else."
Sam, suddenly worried, passed him and went out on the porch. He looked in all directions for his brother and Castiel, thinking supernaturally the worst. What he saw was quite the opposite, and yet still quite shocking. Dean and Cas were still sitting close. Closer than Sam could recall his brother sitting with anyone. He felt like he was intruding, so he went inside, remembering Bobby had seen this as well.
"Well-" Sam cleared his throat, "That uh. It's somethin'"
Bobby looked up at Sam in confusion, "That all you can say? And here I thought you were the more emotionally savvy of the two of you."
Taken aback, Sam said,"Look, Bobby, I don't know what I should say here. Dean has never done anything like this before."
"You're damn right he hasn't. And that's been his problem. The job makes it real hard to get what he's got right now out in the yard. You of all people should know that. So what if it's out of nowhere. If the only place he can get a little bit of happy is from the weird angel-guy out there, then let him have it, I say."
Sam smiled at that. Bobby was right. "You're right. I just want to talk to him, that's all."
"I'm sure you got a million questions for him, but right now, we gotta just ride it out and let em have their thing. Now I don't know bout you, but I sure could use a stiff one."
With that they both returned to the party, leaving Dean and Cas outside again. They had been silent for a while.
"Sammy will probably be all over this pretty soon." Dean said, smiling to himself thinking of his brother's reaction to being told the slightest detail of the innermost thoughts of Dean Winchester.
"I suppose he will." Castiel said. "Do you think it will bother him?"
Dean let out a sigh,"I think he might be thrown for a loop for a minute, but uh-no. Sam is one of the most empathetic people I know. He will take this better than I would have."
Cas smiled,"You can be hard on others Dean. You are so hard on yourself."
Dean sighed, "Man, you know me so well. And you're still interested." Dean laughed.
"I am interested in you Dean." Castiel replied.
"I think you're beautiful, Cas." Dean said, his voice thick.
"My vessel's physical appearance is pleasing for you?" Castiel asked.
Dean sighed. It was alot to unpack. "I wish you wouldn't talk about yourself that way. It's so mechanical. The body of the man you are in, I am attracted to him-to you. But I wouldn't be if you weren't in him. You-are the one I want. Does that make sense?"
"It does Dean. I will make more effort to refer to this body as part of myself, as in a way, it is myself. I must go now." Castiel said, slowly lifting his head from Dean's shoulder.
"That's something I wanted to talk to you about, Cas." Dean said, steeling himself up for the next part.
Taking a deep breath, inhale....exhale..."You think you can stay with me?"
Castiel stood facing Dean, who now stood to meet him face to face.
"There are things I still must do." Castiel replied.
At the sight of the sadness in Dean's eyes, he quickly added, "But I will always return to you."
Dean smiled, "Alright Tiger. Go do your thing."
Cas smiled at the pet name, "I'll see you-"
Dean cut him off. "Wait." With that, Dean put his hands gently on each side of Castiel's face and kissed him softly, both of their eyes closed. Castiel was again awash in fire all over his body, this was so new. And Dean, for his part, had kissed in lust and one night trysts, but he had not kissed in love. Nor with another man. After they parted slowly, Castiel was brave this time. He raised one hand to Dean's face and traced his jawline with his thumb. When Dean opened his eyes again, he was standing alone.
Sighing, he entered the house and people greeted him again. Some asked where "the angel" had gotten to and he replied that he went to answer his higher calling.
Sam approached him and said, "Look, I think we've both had a long day, and it's time to crash. But tomorrow, we're gonna have a talk, you and me."
Dean smirked at his little brother. "That right?"
Sam nodded once.
"Well then, better get me shut eye. Night Sam."
Night Bobby." Dean yelled, seeing Bobby raise his glass to him from across the room, he mounted the stares to the spare bedroom.
That night, he fell asleep and sleep came very easy, not because of the fatigue from the job, but because he found his peace. And life seemed weightless and easier somehow. When he woke, the first thing he saw was the sleeping face of the one who gave him these things. He smiled in wonder as he listened to him breathe and watched as the sun shone on his handsome face.