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English
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Published:
2014-10-16
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1/1
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Are You Happy?

Summary:

“Most of the moms on my soccer team have a crush on him. They keep trying to spill drinks on him to make him take his shirt off.” Jensen squawked and tumbled off the bed at this, his cheeks completely pink now. Cougar could just hear a mutter of “that explains so much” from under the bed. Cougar made a motion with his hand to Jewel, urging her to continue. He was surprised when she stopped twisting his hair, letting it fall from her hands, and gravity undid her work while she turned a very serious face to him instead.

“Does he have a girlfriend? Or…or a boyfriend? When he is with you guys? He should have someone, but whenever I ask, he and mommy beginning to argue in some language I don’t understand and they never tell me. But he should have someone.”

Or: When Jensen's niece tries asking Cougar about Jensen's love life, and Jensen has to explain to a 7 year old that there are questions she can't ask him without causing trouble. And Cougar realizes some things about his newest teammate while he has his hair braided.

Notes:

This was originally something that sprang out while I was writing Googly Eyes for Cougar, but I realized that it added an angst that didn’t fit with the rest of the story. It also had elements from another Losers fic that I am working on, so it was better to pull it out. Then I realized I loved some of the content, and decided to add a bit more to make it stand alone. The next thing I knew it had added a whole new bit and was fighting back. So this was the best that I could salvage from that! As usual this has not been Beta-ed by anyone else.

This is set before the events of the movie, and is roughly set in 2009, so DADT is still in effect.

Work Text:

“Isn’t he the best uncle ever? Mommy says if he ever stops running his mouth so much he would make someone a great partner.” Cougar was surprised to see a blush cross Jensen’s cheeks at this statement. He but made sure not to make eye contact with Cougar in the mirror, and instead fidgeted, pretending his whole concentration was focused on the smart phone in his hands. His hair was falling over his eyes, obscuring them even more from Cougar’s view. Jewel had practiced her hair brushing skills on Jensen earlier, and it was strange to see the blonde hair not up in spikes.

Cougar wasn’t able to turn his head to look directly or even indirectly at Jensen because Jewel was still carefully braiding his hair. He had showed her with her doll how to cross the strands properly to form a braid and then she had begged to try on his hair. He had been unable to deny those pleading blue eyes the small favor; it reminded him of his time with his nieces before he was kicked out of his family. So he was currently sat in one of her small chairs that at her tea table, while Jensen lounged on the small, pink covered twin bed.

“So little Khaleesi, what mad science project do you want to work on later?” Jensen sounded a little desperate to change the subject. Instead Jewel just ignored him and leaned closer to Cougar as she continued to talk.

“Most of the moms on my soccer team have a crush on him. They keep trying to spill drinks on him to make him take his shirt off.” Jensen squawked and tumbled off the bed at this, his cheeks completely pink now. Cougar could just hear a mutter of “that explains so much” from under the bed. Cougar made a motion with his hand to Jewel, urging her to continue. He was surprised when she stopped twisting his hair, letting it fall from her hands, and gravity undid her work while she turned a very serious face to him instead.

“They keep trying to get me to bring him to parties so they can catch him, but I don’t bring him. I don’t like them because they only like him because they think he is ‘hot in a geeky sort of way.’” She made quotation marks with her hands, and Cougar realized she was obviously quoting someone she had overheard. “They should like him because he is an awesome person, even if he talks a lot.” She turned to make sure Jensen was still hiding under the bed before she turned back to Cougar with an earnest look on her face.

“Does he have a girlfriend? Or…or a boyfriend? When he is with you guys? He should have someone, but whenever I ask, he and mommy beginning to argue in some language I don’t understand and they never tell me. But he should have someone.”

It made something in Cougar’s chest clench. There was something just so earnest and loving in her face when she thought about her Uncle; and Cougar wondered if any of his family had ever loved him that much. It was hard sometimes to remember that for as smart as she was, Jewel was still only 7 years old. Cougar answered without stopping to think.

“He should.” Before he could answer any more of her questions, even though he had no idea what to say, he heard Jensen standing up. Glancing back, he saw a mixture of emotions cross Jensen’s face. Jensen glanced at Cougar, but looked away before they could make eye contact.

“Come here munchkin.” Jensen said as he opened his arms. Jewel ran and buried herself in his arms. Jensen held her for a few long seconds before he pulled away to kneel down to her level and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you for protecting me from the soccer moms; they are kind of scary. But I can protect myself from them, so if you want me there don’t worry about protecting me. I can look after myself. I do that all the time in the army.” Cougar barely held back a snort of disagreement at this statement. While Jensen was indeed a capable solider, he also needed a full time babysitter. While usually Cougar kept an eye on Jensen, and so did the rest of the team, Jensen still caused trouble. Both on mission and on base. As they had grown to be friends over the past six months since Jensen had joined the Losers, Cougar had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on Jensen on base, as it seemed to be where the tech found the most trouble. He could tell Clay was glad someone else had decided to look out for the mouthy blond.

“But what about those times you come home hurt? And mommy said there were times where your own team…” Jensen cut her off with another hug.

“Sometimes I can’t help it when we get sent on missions, just like Batman sometimes ends up with cuts and bruises. And I’ve leveled up since I had those troubles.” He gave her a cheeky grin at this. If Cougar hadn’t been watching so intently, he would have missed the quick flicker of Jensen’s eyes over to him before he continued speaking. “Besides I am on a new team now, and if they did anything mean, I would just move in here with you guys!”

Jensen tried to keep his voice light, and Cougar thought it worked for Jewel, but he knew what it meant. If anything happened and Jensen had to leave the Losers, he had to leave the Army. While he knew that his friend had had some trouble with his previous teams, what Jewel was implying made Cougar think he might have to ask around to find out what had really happened. And then hunt down those responsible. He would have just checked the records, but he would bet his favorite scope and his hat that Jensen had altered those files. It bothered him a bit that Jensen didn’t assure his niece that there was no way the Losers would ever do whatever his previous teams had done. It made him wonder if Jensen didn’t really trust the team yet, or if there was something else to his story, something that he thought might make the Losers act the same way as his former teams.

“Now to answer your question, no I am not dating anyone. I just haven’t found someone who loves me as much as you do, sweetie.” He chucked her chin gently and she smiled at him. Cougar frowned a bit at the rather strange phrasing. The phrasing almost made him think that maybe Jensen had found someone he fancied but didn’t think they liked him back. It made Cougar wonder who had caught the other man’s eye, and he felt a small burn of jealousy. “It might not happen for a while; you know how busy we are. I promise you, one day I will find someone who loves me that much, but until then, you’ll just have to be my main girl!” He kissed her cheek and caused her to giggle and he tickled her a little before pulling away looking serious again.

“Now you know there is nothing wrong with a guy that likes other guys, or girls who like girls, or…” Jensen trailed off and waved his hand around to indicate other combinations, and Jewel nodded seriously. “So while it is perfectly normal that some people love and date people who are the same as themselves, it isn’t allowed in the military. It’s a rule, and in fact many of the people in the military don’t like people who are gay. Do you understand?” Jensen paused to look her in the eye and she nodded back even as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “So while you can ask if I have a girlfriend, you can’t ask if I have a boyfriend. Because even if I liked a guy like that, or was dating one, I couldn’t tell you. And even if you thought I might have a boyfriend, you couldn’t tell anyone else, because even if it isn’t true it could still cause me a lot of problems. Do you understand?”

“But that isn’t fair.” Jewel protested and buried her face in Jensen’s chest again. He ran his hands soothingly over her back.

“No, no it isn’t. But that is just the way things are right now. Maybe one day it will change. Probably not until we have politicians as smart as you are.” He made a cheeky grin and Jewel smiled up at him. She stared at him for a moment, and seemed to come to a decision.

“Ok, so no dating questions then. But can I ask if you are happy instead?” Again Cougar was struck by the fact that Jewel was wiser than her age should allow. With her mom and Jensen as an Uncle, little Jewel would be a force of nature when she was older, and he hoped it was a good force!

“Of course, hobbit. And I can tell you this new team is my favorite one yet.” Here Jensen looked over at Cougar and grinned. “In fact, we have a cat and dog, and a mom and dad!” Jensen and Jewel dissolved into laughter, and Cougar couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. Maybe Jensen did trust the team.

“So did you master the traditional braid?” Jensen asked Jewel when they had finally stopped giggling on the floor.

“Uh huh, Sr. Cougar is a very good teacher.” She glanced over at Cougar and gave a shy smile at this.

“Gracias.” Cougar said. “You learned much faster than my nieces, and you didn’t pull out my hair.” Here she blushed, and Jensen reached over and ruffled her hair, and received a swat to his hand in return.

“Did you know I used to French braid your mother’s hair ever week when she used to dance?” Jewel’s eyes grew wide at this statement, and Cougar felt his trying to do the same. “Yeah, back when it was mostly just the two of us, she needed her hair tied back but she just couldn’t braid her own hair.”

“Could you teach me?” Jewel asked as she tried to pull Jensen by his hand over to where Cougar was still sitting in the tiny chair.

“I might be able to braid your hair if I can remember how to do it, but I don’t know that I can show you on a doll. The wefts in their wigs make it hard to French braid.” Jewel stopped pulling and seemed about to pout before she turned a critical eye towards Cougar. Before she spoke she turned back to Jensen and seemed to analyze him as well, and then flipped between the two of them a couple of times. Then she seemed to come to some sort of decision and nodded to herself.

“Could you show me with Sr. Cougar’s hair, and then I can try later with Mommy’s hair?” Jewel asked innocently, but there was a knowing glint in her eyes. Cougar began to suspect that his attraction to Jensen might not have been as subtle as he hoped. Or, another possibility flitted through his head almost as fast, maybe he was actually the person that Jensen had hinted at. While anything between them would never be without complications due to their jobs and loyalty to the team, but there was a strange sort of balance already between the two of them. Jensen had been the first person that was able to drown out the demons in his head by sheer force of chatter, and that was not a small thing.

Jensen seemed grow slightly embarrassed by Jewel’s suggestion. There was again a sight pink to his cheeks. He glanced shyly at Cougar and gave a helpless shrug. Cougar, for all that he liked Jensen, didn’t believe in making things too easy on him and just sat quietly waiting. He knew Jensen would crack first. After a couple of seconds Jensen broke.

“What do you say Cougar, you up for my bumbling attempt at a French braid? I promise I won’t pull too hard. Jessica used to beat me with her hairbrush if I pulled even the slightest bit.” Then Jensen and Jewel both turned their pleading blue eyes towards Cougar, and Cougar was very glad that he was not against the idea, because two sets of puppy dog eyes would have been hard to resist. He took a moment, pretending to consider and then gave a small one shoulder shrug

“Sweet,” Jensen said as he moved to kneel behind Cougar’s tiny chair. “I promise this will be the most manly and awe inspiring French braid ever.” He declared as he picked up the hairbrush. Just before he was able to bring it up to Cougar’s hair, Cougar caught his wrist and held it tightly.

“No pictures.” He turned in the seat to make sure he meet Jensen’s eyes at this. A slight blush again crossed Jensen’s cheek bones as the eye contact and the small distance between them made itself known to him. It made Cougar pretty confident that at the very least Jensen felt some attraction to him.

“Of course, I know when to make sure there is no evidence,” Jewel interrupted, and Jensen quickly broke the eye contact, and pulled his wrist free. Cougar could not help the chuckle that escaped at the statement.

“Did you learn that from tu tío?” He asked her. She smiled widely and nodded.

“Mom isn’t always very happy about our science experiments. And Uncle Jake says as long as I am not hurting myself or anyone else or bringing down government agencies, what my mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“Yeah, no government take downs without my supervision, code-monkey.” Jensen agreed as he reached over and ruffled Jewel’s hair, only to have her squawk and duck away. “But we both promise, no pictures. Now can I go back to teaching my niece necessary life skills? We have science experiments to get to later.” Raising an unimpressed eyebrow, Cougar gave a magnanimous nod and turned back towards the mirror.

Picking up the brush again Jensen began to carefully brush out Cougar’s hair. Jensen’s free hand came and held the hair while he ran the rush through the ends, making sure that it didn’t pull at Cougar’s scalp. Slowly he worked his way up to the scalp, and it was very gently done. Cougar did not think he had ever had his hair so carefully handled. It was strangely soothing, and Cougar had to fight to keep from leaning into the hand and brush that move across his head. All too soon for his taste, Jensen set the brush down. A soft touch came just under Cougar’s chin, and tilted his head back a bit. Cougar was just able to keep back a shiver at the touch, but Jensen pulled his hand away quickly, as if he had been burned.

“Alright Jewel, pay attention to what I do. Basically it is just like the braid Cougs showed you, but you add more hair each time to the outside strands.” The young girl moved closer, so that she was standing just behind Jensen’s shoulder to watch what his hands did.

Starting towards the top of Cougar’s head, Jensen sectioned out three small portions and began to twist them together. Each time he added hair to the outside strands, his nails scraped lightly against Cougar’s scalp. Almost as if he could not allow silence to take over, Jensen began to hum a song as he worked. The humming and the small touches helped Cougar relax even more. It had been a long time since he had felt so loose and comfortable, and he could never remember feeling so when someone was directly behind him.

In just a few short minutes, Jensen tapped Cougar’s shoulder. Without waiting for Cougar to figure out what he meant Jensen reached down and slide the hair tie from Cougar’s wrist. In a much practiced motion he tied off the end of the braid and let it fall back against Cougar’s shoulders.

“Thank you Uncle Jake, I think I get it.” In the mirror Cougar was able to watch Jewel hug Jensen and give him a kiss on his cheek before turning to look at Cougar. “Y gracias Sr. Cougar.” She leaned over and gave him a quick tight hug, and Cougar could not help the small smile that twitched at his lips.

“De nada, Joyita.” Jewel smiled widely at that and turned to run out of the room.

“I’m going to go find mom and French braid her hair.” Just as she was about to cross the threshold she stopped and turned back to the two men. “I forgot to ask, are you happy Uncle Jake?” Giving a loud laugh Jensen nodded.

“And you Sr. Cougar? I know I can’t ask you the same questions that I can’t ask Uncle Jake.” She shrugged in resignation before continuing, “But are you happy?” In that moment Cougar knew it was only a matter of time until this young girl was bringing down governments.

“Sí, I think I am getting there.” He answered honestly. He smiled as she nodded as if she was expecting this, and then she ran out of the room, calling for her mother. Cougar could feel Jensen’s questioning gaze, but instead of acknowledging it he found the small hand mirror on the table. He raised it up behind his head and angled it so that he could take in Jensen’s work. He had never had his hair in a French braid before, but he rather liked the way it felt more secure, with the front part of his hair not able to swing into his eyes. For his protestation about how long it had been since he had practiced, the braid was cleanly well done.

“Es bueno.” He declared and lowered the mirror. Jensen smiled at this then looked a bit uncertain.

“Thank you for being so great with Jewel.” He finally said as he stood up. Moving around in front of Cougar, Jensen offered a hand down to help him up. When he was standing, and much closer than Jensen had probably meant, Cougar allowed a slight tilt of his lip to show.

“No es un problema. Me gusta tu familia.” He then stepped back a bit as Jensen worked out what he had said. Jensen was quickly picking up Spanish, but sometimes Cougar’s sentences seemed out of context and they took Jensen longer to translate.

“Good, because I think they have officially adopted you. If you are not careful you may have to change your name to Jensen.” He quickly closed his mouth in a way that let Cougar know that Jensen’s mouth had run away from him, and it had taken his mind a moment longer to consider the implications of what he had said. Not giving him a chance to take it back or dig in deeper Cougar smirked as he turned towards the door.

“Tal vez un día.” He heard Jensen stumble at his words, and then the blond was scrambling to catch up with Cougar. He lightly grabbed Cougar’s shoulder and turned the shorter man to face him. His eyebrows scrunched up a bit as he took in Cougar and seemed to consider his words, for once, before he spoke.

“Hey, I know this is rather silly to ask, but can you not mention to the guys about the conversation Jewel and I had?” He looked down at the ground instead of at Cougar as he continued. “I know Pooch probably wouldn’t mind, but I am not so sure about Roque and Clay. And I don’t want anyone telling her some people are damned or sick or something for loving someone else. Besides they really don’t need to know about the soccer moms who are trying to get me to take my shirt off. Or that I called Clay and Roque, mom and dad!” It was said in a rush with his usual casualness, but Cougar knew how hard it was for Jensen to ask what he was. It was also as close to a confession as Jensen could make with DADT in place.

With his hair soft and falling over his eyes he looked much younger and more vulnerable than the man Cougar went into battle with. Cougar knew that even if he had not been feeling what he was towards Jensen, he would still have a strong urge to protect this man. After the things that they had seen while fighting together, and after whatever had happened to Jensen before he joined the Losers, he still joked and smiled and didn’t let it change him. While Cougar had seen the darkness and hardness that hid within Jensen, it was the fact that he went against those feelings that showed how strong Jensen truly was. And Cougar would protect those brilliant smiles and laughter, the ones that made him believe everything would be alright in the end.

“No te preocupes.” He decided to go for broke and reached forward and grabbed a handful of Jensen’s hideous neon green shirt that had some geeky reference Cougar didn’t understand. Before Jensen could process what was happening, Cougar pulled him down and sealed his lips against the blondes. It was a quick rough kiss, and Cougar pulled back before Jensen could react. “Yo nunca dije nada.”

Turning then Cougar turned and continued walking out of the room and pulling his hat on over the top of the French braid. There was a loud flurry of movement behind him and then Jensen was next to him as they started down the stairs. Cougar could feel Jensen’s eyes studying him, but he resolutely kept his face blank.

“You sly, sly cat you.” He laughed at his own joke and then bumped his elbow into Cougar’s before he continued. “I guess I should have figured out you aren’t the kiss and tell type.” Jensen gave Cougar an apprising look as they crossed the kitchen towards the sliding door to the backyard. “But you are the kiss and smirk type.”

All Cougar could do was smirk and raise a single eyebrow before he and Jensen joined Jessica and Jewel out in the yard.

If the others in the Losers picked up on a change between the two men after the leave, they kept it to themselves. And if Cougar would occasionally drop a hairbrush into Jensen’s lap when it was just the two of them, it was no one else’s business.