i could use a bad disguise;

by unintentionallyangsty

Summary:

In the wake of the events of Ragnarok, Loki is plagued by nightmares, unable to determine a place for himself within the development of New Asgard and Thor's settling into the role of king.

Meanwhile, Thor wants nothing more than for his brother to stay, but is unsure of how to extend this sentiment.

(Alternatively; a series of miscommunications between what's left of Asgard's royal family, to absolutely no one's surprise).

Notes:

honestly, this just takes place in an au where Loki never took the tesseract from Asgard's vaults and Thanos never attacked and the MCU stopped before Infinity War/Endgame could ever happen.

(i haven't written anything with this much passion in almost a year so Thanks to my MCU phase for flaring back up in my mid-20's)

some additional notes;

i’d like to formally apologize to Bruce Banner, whom i adore and wanted to write so badly and then realized that i could only manage to write you into a couple scenes. love u bb, i’ll do you justice in the future

Val i’m free Thursday night if you’re free or want to do something idk i’m free Thursday

Thor is my emotional support himbo

“There’s no place for you here, you know.”

Loki bit back a wince at the words. He’d known they were coming, of course. It would have been juvenile not to have been expecting it.

It was, after all, in “New” Asgard that they were spoken, and he was hardly an Asgardian.

“It took you this long to figure it out?” he forced himself to retort, smirking slightly in the face of Thor’s stormy expression.

“I’ve known for years.” Thor replied easily, shrugging dismissively. “Everyone has.”

Loki swallowed thickly. It was true, of course. He was hardly a stranger to the fact.

And yet…

“So it’s to be banishment, then?” he inquired with a small smile, rather than continue that particular train of thought.

Thor nodded sagely. “I would have done so months ago, had I had the chance aboard the Statesman.”

Loki did wince, then. Now, that was going a bit far. After--

“After all I’ve done for you?” he sneered, tamping down on the hurt he could feel bubbling within his chest.

To his shock (and dismay), Thor barked a laugh.

“Done for me?” he repeated, raising his brows incredulously. “You’ve done enough, Loki.”

The words were sharp, and Loki felt his shoulders tense slightly in the face of them.

“I care not where you go.” Thor continued, almost as if answering Loki’s next question, “So long as you are gone.”

At the words, Loki let the small smirk fall from his face, keeping it in place suddenly feeling like a monumental effort. “When?” he replied hollowly, not sure why the entire exchange was affecting him so.

It wasn’t as if it were anything new.

“Now, if you know what’s best for you.” Thor responded with no hesitation.

“But--” Loki felt whatever argument he had been forming die on his tongue at the enraged look Thor shot him.

He felt himself shrink backward almost automatically.

“Get out of my sight.” His brother muttered lowly, fists clenching at his sides. “Before I do something we both regret.”

And, in spite of himself, Loki huffed an incredulous laugh.

“You mean I regret.” he taunted, “I hardly think that you’d regret it in the slightest.”

Thor paused, frowning as if mulling the words over.

Then, “No, you’re probably right.”

He raised a hand, then, power crackling along his skin as his eye lit with it--

---

Loki awoke with a choked inhale, his lungs shuddering with the effort as he fought to regain control of himself.

His first nightmare back on Midgard. How fitting.

He lay back on his elbows on the thin mat below, fighting to even his breathing out, there in the dark.

On the sofa in the corner across from Loki, a figure shifted, and Loki bit his lip, forcing himself to remain silent as to not disturb the other occupants of the room.

After over three months of space travel, the small crew had landed in Norway, on Midgard, three weeks prior.

Though they had immediately begun construction on what would eventually become their village, this “New” Asgard, what was left of the kingdom was still sleeping aboard the Statesman.

Through some kind of (not unwelcome) surge of generosity, Thor had offered to share the sizable captain’s chambers with Loki, alongside the Valkyrie and Banner.

And, though Loki had a corner relatively to himself, there was still a certain….inconvenience, to one’s sleep being so loudly disturbed.

The figure on the sofa shifted again, and Loki bit back a groan as Thor sat up, blinking wearily in the dark and peering around their surroundings as if hardly recognizing them.

Not exactly who Loki wanted to be conversing with, at the present moment.

“Loki.” Thor finally spoke, tone low and somewhat confused, “Trouble?”

In reply, Loki shook his head, not quite trusting himself to speak for the sweat still slicking his palms and the space between his shoulder blades.

Which was, apparently, not the answer Thor had been looking for. He sat a bit straighter, his gaze focusing to something a bit sharper.

A bit more suspicious, if Loki had to put a name to it.

“Loki?” he repeated.

“There’s nothing.” Loki cut in smoothly, clearing his throat when the words came out somewhat croaked. “Trouble sleeping, is all. What with all the snoring you three cause, it’s a wonder I can get any at all.”

Thor exhaled, rolling his eye irritably before glancing over his shoulder to where the Valkyrie was, indeed, inhaling a rather noisy breath.

“Yes, well.” Thor murmured, turning back to Loki with a small shrug before making to lie back down. “Best give it an effort, at any rate. Big day tomorrow.”

“Today.” Loki corrected automatically, “And it’s hardly as if they’re not all ‘big days’, at present.”

Thor hummed noncommittally. “Fair point. Still,” he shot Loki a final glance before allowing his eye to fall shut again. “Try.”

Loki huffed, watching Thor for a moment before turning away to glance at the window above.

They had lowered the guard to make sleep more achievable, and yet a small sliver of dawn could be seen creeping in just along the edges of the heavy metal shade.

Loki released a small breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding, and forced himself to ignore the fact that Thor’s breathing had failed to even out, just yet.

There would be no more sleep today.

---

The day following was, indeed, just as busy as the one before.

If not more so.

As if by magic (and in truth, the company was not lacking in the assistance of various mages) the houses around the village had already slowly begun to take something of a shape.

Thor seemed to be in two or three places at once, supervising construction with a critical eye and a mild smile offered to all involved.

Almost all, that is.

Not that he’d been particularly uncivil toward Loki. Rather, given the circumstances, he’d been almost friendly, their shared rescue on the rainbow bridge having seemingly convinced him of Loki’s good intentions, for the time being.

However, that had taken place over three months prior, and it seemed that his affection had cooled slightly over time.

The two spoke, yes, though it was almost exclusively when necessity dictated, most of Thor’s attention spent on either the village or his developing friendship with Banner and the Valkyrie.

It wasn’t as if Loki thought that he and Thor had much in common, as far as conversation topics went, all things considered.

So the two kept their respective distances, leaving Loki feeling restless and a little penned in, the longer it continued.

After all, if not for Thor, then why stick around at all?

The Valkyrie seemed to have her hands full, as it were.

The minute she and Bruce had awoken that morning, they had taken up where they had left off with their correspondence with the mainland, ordering everything from additional lumber to supplies for a sort of pub being constructed on the outskirts of the village.

And Loki…

Loki continued to watch the proceedings from what was more or less the sidelines, maintaining a carefully neutral expression while simultaneously feeling his stomach drop notch by notch, the further the village developed.

And what was he to do? Thor seemed preoccupied, unwilling to even glance in Loki’s direction as the development continued.

And the Valkyrie (Brunnhilde, her actual name was, as it turned out)...she hardly seemed to even notice Loki’s lingering presence, so intent as she was on what was happening within the crowds of somewhat lost, wandering Asgardians.

So now, Loki watched, the subtle clenching of his hands at his sides the only indication of the conflicting emotions within.

“Ho, there!”

From a distance, Loki could just make out Thor raising a hand in greeting, the smile on his face growing as he reached out to accept an armful of lumber from someone just out of view.

Loki realized suddenly that he felt quite stupid, standing there on the outskirts of the village like some outcast.

(And wasn’t that exactly what he was?)

He had, after all, spent the better part of the last week and a half scurrying around like some foolish child at Thor’s heels, eagerly jumping in to help when he could, if only to give his itching hands some task to preoccupy them.

Only, it seemed that his help was less than desired, more often than not. His presence almost consistently viewed from a safe, suspicious distance.

Loki surged forward, suddenly, unsure of quite where he was headed, yet insistent upon breaking the spell of immobility that had settled over him, all the same.

He found that he was quite tired of lingering at the sidelines. .

“I thank you, friend.” Thor was saying, nodding to his companion before turning away to transport the lumber to its intended destination.

Loki saw it before he registered it happening.

Thor turning, a smile still planted firmly on his face as he carried the armful of lumber…

Then the way Thor stumbled, his face creasing into a frown as the burden threatened to overbalance.

Before Loki could entirely register what he was doing, he extended a tendril of energy and blipped across the field, crossing the span of several hundred yards in seconds and reappearing at Thor’s side in a small glimmer of light.

His hands reached out automatically to grip at one end of the lumber, and Loki nearly buckled beneath the weight of it.

He hadn’t practiced teleportation in over a year (hadn’t had the need to), and found himself a little breathless with the effort.

Beside him, Thor blinked, staggering back a surprised step but keeping a firm grip on his end of the lumber, all the same.

“Loki,” he spoke, eye flickering to where Loki had been stood on the edge of the village not a minute before.

(Ah, so he had been watching, then).

“Need a hand?” Loki replied, allowing his mouth to quirk into a wry smile.

For his part, Thor huffed a small smile of his own, and shrugged a bit dismissively.

“No longer, thanks to you.” He nodded. “Thank you, brother.”

A beat passed, each glancing briefly away in the silence.

It hadn’t escaped either’s notice that it was the first time that Thor had used the familial term since the fall of Asgard.

“Old” Asgard, at any rate.

Not feeling quite right with being at a loss for words, Loki shifted his hold on the lumber a bit uncomfortably, pursing his lips and opting to remain silent, rather than struggle for a sentence to fill the silence.

“Well,” Thor finally spoke, clearing his throat slightly before continuing, “I could use your help with--well,” he nodded to the frame of the house he’d been approaching, before the struggle.

“It would be my honor.” Loki drawled, falling into a mock bow to mask the hopeful flutter than stirred beneath his ribs at the offer.

Thor scoffed a bit, rolling his eye and glancing away with a small smirk.

“Shut up, Loki.”

Ah, now that was familiar ground.

---

It formed into something of a habit, following that.

Loki would awaken when Thor rolled out of his makeshift sofa bed and began preparing for the day, often already lying awake himself and itching to do something.

It had been longer than he cared to remember since he had felt so idle.

On Sakaar, at least he’d been granted the distraction of working to earn the Grandmaster’s...favor, for a number of weeks.

And while living in Odin’s place on the throne often offered a life of idle luxury, Loki had often found himself unexpectedly busy with his avoidance of the court, curious subjects, or interference from other realms.

So he found himself now eagerly helping Thor with the construction of New Asgard, accompanying him to planning meetings and assisting with a touch of his seiðr, where applicable.

And, to his surprise and what might be something close to relief, Thor didn’t seem to mind his company in the slightest.

He had even begun inviting Loki to join himself, the Valkyrie, and Banner for meals, when they took them.

Which was, admittedly, something of an odd experience, sat gingerly on the edge of one of the makeshift tables that had been constructed and scattered along the Norwegian cliffside, listening to Valkyrie tease, or Thor discuss the development of the town with a small, proud smile on his face.

The three had grown very comfortable together, Loki had noticed, and he tried valiantly not to acknowledge the simmer of jealousy he had initially felt upon the realization.

“Is that something you can do, Lackey?”

The words drew Loki from his reverie, and he fought not to flush in the face of Thor, Valkyrie, and Banner’s expectant stares, all trained on him.

“Beg pardon?” he inquired, rolling his shoulders and placing the spoon in his grip gingerly on the table when he realized that he’d been simply picking at the bowl of soup before him for an indeterminable amount of time past.

Thor frowned a bit, though Valkyrie only rolled her eyes slightly and repeated herself, “I only asked if you might be able to help us with the gardens a bit. It’s not the season for many flowers. They might need a little...you know.” she waggled her fingers with a small smirk. “Encouragement.”

Immediately, Loki understood, though something within him prickled at the idea of his magic being passed around from project to project like a thing for rent.

Not to mention the fact that the amount of energy he had utilized in the weeks following the teleportation incident had been more than he’d used in months beforehand, and the magic itself wasn’t quite back to peak performance, at present.

Not that anyone at this table needed to be made aware of that.

“Not sure.” Loki finally replied, shaking his head slightly and fighting the urge to drop his gaze to the table below. “It is, after all, somewhat choosy about who it assists.”

The Valkyrie rolled her eyes again, though Loki noted somewhat proudly that the gesture seemed almost fond.

“Come now, Loki!” Thor cried, “Think of it this way. If you assist in the construction of the gardens, you get to have a say in how they turn out!”

It was, admittedly, a tempting offer, especially considering Loki’s own fondness for his mother’s gardens back on Once Was Asgard.

“Wait, you’re into gardening?” Banner spoke up, his brows raising slightly.

It was one of the few sentences the scientist had directed at Loki exclusively, him having remained somewhat aloof since Sakaar, and Loki regarded him in mild surprise.

“Oh, Loki’s always loved gardening!” Thor chimed in, before Loki could formulate an appropriately wry response to the question. “Since he was a child. He used to beg mother to let him practice his magic on the flowers.”

“Aw!” the Valkyrie’s eyes lit up as she regarded Loki with a wicked grin.

“Everyone needs a hobby.” Loki snapped, a little irritably, and forced himself not to bristle at the story. “No need to make a deal out of it.”

“Gardening though…” Banner shook his head slightly, his gaze drifting off as if deep in thought. “God of mischief. I wouldn’t have--”

“Alright, that’s more than enough.” Loki cut in, possibly a little sharper than was necessary.

It did the trick, however. Banner’s mouth snapped shut and he appeared as if fighting the urge to move to the opposite end of the table.

“Loki,” Thor murmured, shooting Loki a warning glance over his mug of ale. “Be reasonable.”

“I’m perfectly reasonable.” Loki replied, blinking as innocently as he could manage.

(Which, if Thor’s taunts of youth were anything to go by, was not a feat easily achieved).

“So you’ll help.” Valkyrie jumped in, raising a brow expectantly.

Loki opened his mouth to tell her to kindly fuck off, only for the words to die on his lips when his gaze flickered back to Thor.

The god was smirking slightly, taking another merry sip of his beer and regarding Loki with some satisfaction.

He had been baited, Loki realized, his expression dropping into a scowl.

“Fine.” he snapped, ignoring Valkyrie’s snicker in favor of continuing to glower at Thor. “Though I can’t say that the citizens of Asgard will be happy about so much of my...personal touch being woven through their new home.”

Thor’s smile dimmed slightly at the comment, and Loki found with some irritation that he felt no satisfaction over having had the last word, this time.

---

Whatever Loki had anticipated would follow the agreement, it hadn’t been finding Thor snivelling in the captain’s chamber of the Statesman less than 24 hours later.

Well, snivelling was probably the wrong word. Pouting might be more accurate, though Loki very much doubted that the god himself would ever admit to such an action.

That was more his own area, anyway.

“What’s got you in a state?” he inquired, pausing in the doorway a bit uncertainly.

Thor was currently bent over the desk in the corner of the room, a frown deeply marring his features as he squinted at whatever was laid upon the surface of the desk.

“Not now, Loki.” Thor replied moodily after a moment of uncomfortable silence, turning so that a broader spread of his back was facing the door and, therefore, Loki himself.

“You always say that.” Loki dismissed, swallowing past the sticky apprehension clogging his throat and letting himself into the room.

He strode over to where Thor was sat, noting absently his brother’s shoulders tensing slightly as he did so, and peered over the desk where a small paper lay.

On it was a small doodle of what Loki assumed was supposed to be a house.

Or it might have been Mjölnir. It was hard to say.

Loki had never been very good at interpreting Thor’s art, at any rate.

“You’re….drawing?” he ventured, raising a casual brow when Thor turned to give him a dark scowl.

“I wasn’t in a ‘note-taking’ mood.” he murmured, the words somewhat childish in their mocking.

“Ah,” Loki offered an exaggerated sympathetic smile. “I take it the council meeting wasn’t to your liking, then.”

“They want me to have a house!” Thor burst out, then, the pout growing on his face as he turned to meet Loki’s eyes with what could only be described as an exasperated expression.

“Ehm.” Loki blinked, pursing his lips before he shook his head slightly. “And you don’t...want one?”

“Of course I want one!”

“Then I fail to see the problem.”

“Guh,” Thor fell back in his seat and threw his hands up in exasperation. “The first, Loki!” he cried, drawing both hands wearily over his face. “The first house.”

Ah, now things were starting to make a bit more sense.

“I...see.” Loki replied slowly, nodding his head as if carefully mulling the words over.

He knew exactly what the problem was, of course, now that he could see the whole picture.

Thor and his damned, obstinate self-sacrificial nature…

Rather than jump straight to the point, however, Loki finally ventured, “And you find issue with this?”

Thor, as displayed many times in the past, often needed to talk things out to get to the root of an issue.

And, true to form, he took a deep breath before exclaiming, “It isn’t right!”

“You're their king.” Loki argued, with no real heat.

“Exactly.” Thor cried, standing so he could pace past Loki into the room beyond. “As king they would have me sleeping in luxury and comfort while my people continue to huddle together on the floor of a ship like a group of--of vagabonds.”

Loki decided that, at this particular moment, pointing out the fact that the remaining citizens of Asgard were, in fact, the very definition of a group of vagabonds would probably be an unwelcome input.

“Who would have it?” he drawled, instead, leaning back to perch against the edge of the desk and crossing his arms casually. “Surely the council of Asgard would hardly be foolish enough to give any special treatment to their king.”

“Unwise choice of words, brother.” Thor tossed him a look, though there was little threat behind it.

And, when Loki didn’t respond beyond a small shrug, Thor sighed and deflated somewhat.

“It was Heimdall’s idea, initially.”

“Ah, that sounds like him.” Loki nodded immediately. “And the rest of the council jumped in on the idea, was that it?”

“If you know so well what happened why bother continuing to interrogate me for answers?” Thor griped.

“Just making conversation.” Loki replied, raising both hands innocently. “Maybe we should make Heimdall king, if the idea of it troubles you so much.”

“If only.” Thor muttered, more to himself than anything.

“Though,” Loki pondered, placing a hand on his chin in exaggerated thoughtfulness. “Given time, I could think of some more suitable options…”

“Don’t start.” Thor rolled his remaining eye histrionically.

“I wasn’t.”

“Loki--”

“There you are.” The door sliding open interrupted Thor’s impending tirade (thank the Norns for small favors) and the Valkyrie strode in, not even glancing at Loki as she continued, “You left in a hurry.”

“I was preoccupied.” Thor returned, though much of the fight seemed to have left him. “I apologize.”

“Don’t.” Valkyrie replied with a small wave of her hand. She did turn to address Loki, then, a small smile quirking her lips. “Was he pouting?”

“Don’t answer that.” Thor interrupted with a warning finger pointed in Loki’s direction as the latter opened his mouth to reply.

“I wasn’t going to.” Loki deflected with a small smile. “I would never betray your trust by revealing such sensitive information.”

The Valkyrie snickered, offering Loki a wry smirk, while Thor glowered slightly.

“Sometimes you really do make me doubt your wisdom, brother.” Thor muttered darkly, running one hand distractedly through his shortly cropped hair.

“You think I’m wise?”

“Alright,” Valkyrie cut in smoothly, before Thor could rise to the challenge. “I’m not about to break up a fight.”

“Not up for it?” Loki sneered, though the words held little venom.

“I’m not your mother.” Valkyrie tutted, either not noticing or simply ignoring the wince Thor and Loki shared at the words.

“You know they mean well.” she continued, instead, turning back to give Thor her full attention once again.

“I would not have it.” Thor grumbled.

“They know which house is to be yours.” Valkyrie pointed out. “Even without your permission they’ll make sure that it’s finished before the others.”

“Then I’ll just give it to someone else.” Thor dismissed with a shrug.

Valkyrie and Loki shared an equally exasperated look, then.

“Look.” Valkyrie began, “They’re your people. They love you. And I truly believe that this would make them genuinely happy.”

Thor glanced away, chewing the inside of his cheek and seemingly mulling the words over carefully.

It was a tell, Loki considered, He was close to relenting.

“I have seen the construction.” Loki cut in, a little unsure of why he was hastening to back the Valkyrie up, but adamant, all the same. “The other houses truly are not so far behind as you think.”

Valkyrie shared his surprise, it seemed, if her pointedly raised brow in his direction was anything to go by.

“I know how stubborn he can be.” Loki offered under his breath to the Valkyrie, as if it explained anything.

And maybe it did.

“He is right.” The Valkyrie admitted with obvious reluctance.

“About which part?” Thor replied, glancing wearily between the two of them.

“Both.” Valkyrie replied simply, crossing her arms to mirror Loki’s previous stance and shrugging dismissively. “All.”

Thor hesitated, moving to sit on the sofa at the other end of the room and leaning forward so that his elbows were planted on his knees.

“How much further behind?” he inquired, finally.

“Two weeks. A month, tops.” Valkyrie replied immediately.

Loki remained silent, certain that she had effectively driven in the last of the point necessary, though Thor still glanced briefly in his direction before sighing, his shoulders drooping slightly with it.

“Fine.” he relented. “I’ll move into the damned house.”

“Good.” Valkyrie nodded curtly. “At least someone here has some sense.”

Loki opened his mouth to gape indignantly. “Why that was a necessary jab in my direction I remain quite unsure.”

“You know why.” Valkyrie gave him a dry look, before continuing, “So, what about you, Lackey?”

“What about me?” Loki replied, a little irritably. “What continued lack of sense may I prove to you?”

Valkyrie heaved a long sigh and rolled her eyes. “Oh, grow up.” she muttered, before continuing, “Where are you going to live? There are plenty of lots still available.”

The words were, Loki would admit, the farthest thing from what he had expected.

And though his gaze did not leave Valkyrie’s, Loki could sense Thor tensing from where he was sat across the room.

“I--” Loki began, finding himself at a sudden loss for words.

“Come on,” Valkyrie chided slightly, “I’m sure you could have your pick. What, as Asgard’s ‘savior’, and all.”

In reply, Loki offered her a scowl.

“I hardly think that it matters.” he replied, at last.

In truth, he hadn’t really even considered the dilemma until it had been spoken.

Had sort of made a habit of not thinking beyond the next 24 hours or so, at present.

“So you don’t care? “ Valkyrie questioned, a bit of unchecked surprise coloring her tone. “Wouldn’t have called that one.”

“Well, I am full of surprises.” Loki offered with a sarcastic tilt of his head.

“So you’ll just take an empty one, then? One of those left over?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Loki snapped, the words leaving him before he could stop them.

“I’d like to know what you want.” Valkyrie shot back, irritation overtaking her expression.

“It’s not a decision that has to be made right this minute, of course.” Thor cut in, then, his tone held carefully controlled in a fashion Loki knew was meant to be mediating.

“I know that!” he snarled, trying valiantly (and ultimately failing) to ignore the brief flash of hurt that crossed Thor’s face.

“It’s also not exactly a difficult decision.” The Valkyrie continued, refusing to back down, even now. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” Loki defended, much too quickly to be considered entirely casual, especially if Valkyrie’s raised brow was anything to go by.

“I just--” Loki paused, mulling his next words over carefully before continuing, “I’m just not sure that it’s worth the trouble.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble.” Valkyrie replied easily, and Loki acknowledged begrudgingly that she knew exactly what kind of bear she was poking, with the continued insistence.

In truth, he was able to admit silently, to himself and no others, that the idea of fixing a more...permanent residence here, on New Asgard…

It was a bit much to consider, at present.

Not to mention--

“Come on,” Valkyrie taunted, “If your big brother can pick a spot, I know you can.”

Not to mention that.

Loathe as he was to admit it, the idea of Thor leaving the captain’s quarters and living somewhere else…anywhere else—

(apart from Loki…)

made Loki’s stomach twist with discomfort and something a little too close to terror for his own liking.

“I am afraid,” Loki began, swallowing down the panic he could feel beginning to flutter at the back of his throat and offering a small, grimacing smile. “That the efforts might be a waste.”

From the other side of the room, Loki noted Thor’s eye narrowing slightly, though he fought valiantly not to react to the tell.

For her part, Valkyrie simply raised an unimpressed brow. “Not planning on staying long?”

“More like the effort isn’t necessary.” Loki replied easily, knowing full well how transparent the deflecting tactic was.

“Sure.” Valkyrie scoffed slightly, “So where are you planning to stay, then? Want us to erect a tent for you?” she smirked slightly with the words.

“I’ll figure something out.” Loki retorted, “The Statesman isn’t so uncomfortable, after all.”

He was immediately aware of Thor shifting and clearing his throat uncomfortably from where he was sat just at the corner of Loki’s line of vision.

“Can’t.” The Valkyrie replied easily, “It’s mine.”

“Yours?” Loki repeated stupidly. “What is?”

“The Statesman.” Valkyrie’s smile grew slightly. “It’s mine.”

“The ship?” Loki sputtered, far from dignified. “Since when?”

“Since it was gifted to me.” Valkyrie informed, glancing over her shoulder to where Thor sat with a satisfied look. “Something about ‘having a hand in Asgard’s rescue’.”

“I didn’t get a ship.” Loki responded, before he could stop himself.

“You never said that you wanted one.” Thor spoke, having the courtesy to at least look a bit sheepish.

“And how would you know?” Loki answered with no real heat, “As you know--”

“You’re full of surprises, yes.” Valkyrie cut in with another small sigh. “So no answers as far as housing, then?”

“Not at present.” Loki confirmed, willing himself to offer some kind of answer before his silence spoke for him.

“Fine.” Valkyrie dismissed with a shrug. “But once everybody is off the ship, it’s mine, and I won’t be running a charity.”

“Duly noted.” Loki sneered.

There was a brief silence then, the two glaring slightly at each other and each stood slightly tensed, as if ready for battle yet quite unsure if it would commence.

It might almost seem a relief, Loki thought distantly, if it had.

A release of built-up tension, if anything.

“I’ll have a sofa.” Thor piped up, then, breaking the two so effectively from their shared stand-off that each turned to face him in surprise.

“What?” Valkyrie spoke first.

“I--I’ll have extra room.” Thor continued, sitting a bit straighter now with a new, determined edge to his tone. “And a sofa.”

“Congratulations.” Loki drawled, shaking his head a bit and furrowing his brow in confusion when the words failed to register any particular meaning pertaining to the conversation at hand.

With a brief exhale and a small roll of his eye, Thor stood and crossed the room so that he was stood at Valkyrie’s side, crossing his arms in a fashion that Loki immediately identified as his brooking no room for argument.

“Loki can stay with me.” Thor finally concluded, firmly. “I’ll have plenty of extra room.”

Silence fell briefly over the room, then.

Loki blinked, opened his mouth to reply, only to simply blink again.

That...hadn’t at all been the answer he had been expecting.

(Not that it was entirely unwelcome…)

For lack of anything better to do, Loki glanced over to where Thor was stood, his stomach flipping slightly at the small, hopeful smile he was offered in return.

“Well,” Valkyrie finally spoke, recovering herself quicker than Loki could ever hope to, given the present situation. “Can’t say that I envy you. Some roommate.”

Loki shot her a sneer. “My thoughts exactly.”

Rather than reply, Valkyrie turned to address Thor. “There might be a prisoner’s cell or two available on the Statesman, if you change your mind.”

“Under your ownership?” Loki cut in, before Thor could reply, and offered a rather forced smile. “I’d rather not. Hel would sooner be a more comfortable option.”

“Let me know how it is.” Valkyrie shot back, taking a small step closer with a dangerous cock of her head.

“Enough.” Thor interrupted, his expression darkening slightly as he moved to step between the two. “This is getting us nowhere.”

“She started it.” Loki murmured, shooting Valkyrie a scowl.

“And I’ll gladly finish it…”

“Enough.” Thor repeated, glancing between the two of them sternly before returning his attention to Loki singularly.

“Is that,” he began, his tone so much more hesitant than it had been only moments ago that Loki was almost taken aback. “Is that something that you would want?”

Loki paused, feeling the weight of two gazes on him and fighting the urge to simply flee in the face of it.

He was, after all, old enough to make his own decisions, now. No reason why his bro--

No reason why Thor’s opinion should have any impact on that, now.

“It’ll suit.” he finally replied with forced casualty, pointedly avoiding Valkyrie’s shrewd gaze. “As a temporary solution.”

Not that he was at all certain of what his living situation might be, following that. Nor did he feel like considering the problem too closely, just now.

The message seemed to get across, however, though Loki remained unsure as to whether he really wanted it to.

Thor glanced away, and nodded swiftly.

“That’s settled, then.” he murmured, still avoiding Loki’s gaze before offering a nod to Valkyrie and proceeding to retreat to exit the room entirely.

“Nicely done.” The Valkyrie taunted, as soon as the door had slid shut behind him, and Loki turned to offer her a scowl.

“Would you have done better?” he snapped, “I hardly understand where his mind is at the best of times.”

Without hesitation, Valkyrie snorted, “That’s rich.” before she turned and exited the room on Thor’s heels.

Loki blinked after her, his face twisting into a frown.

“Well that went well.” he murmured, the words echoing unpleasantly in the sudden quiet of the empty room.

---

Thor frowned slightly as he watched where Loki was discussing something with Heimdall in what was clearly very clipped, neutral tones from both parties involved.

Even from where he was sat on a hillside several yards away, Thor could make out the uncomfortable tightness around Loki’s mouth; the way he held his shoulders stiff, as if bracing for a fight.

Heimdall said something, turning his head minutely to further study Loki, and Thor watched with a sigh as Loki took a small, almost imperceptible step backward.

And here he had been, thinking that things had been going relatively well.

Better, at any rate, than they had been.

Loki’s help with the village seemed to be making something of a difference with the remaining citizens of Asgard. And while his interactions with them remained brief and cool, if at all existent, Thor had noticed a subtle improvement in their tone.

Not that the reaction from the citizens themselves had extended beyond a cool, suspicious silence in response to the sudden reappearance of their would-be prince, in most cases.

They kept their distance, and Thor thought that this had probably suited Loki just fine.

Still, he noted with some satisfaction, Loki wouldn’t have been caught dead in a conversation with Heimdall even a fortnight prior. Much less having been the one to initiate such a conversation.

Wonders never did cease, he thought, watching as Loki nodded almost pleasantly before striking off toward where a group of what was left of Asgard’s mages were collected, working to develop a sort of system for running water in the village without having to worry about the time it would take implement actual indoor, running water.

Thor hadn’t thought it necessary, given that they had lived for centuries without such luxuries as “running water” and “indoor plumbing”, but Val and Bruce had both insisted upon it.

Even Loki had seemed to be in agreement, so much so that he had agreed to utilize his magic to assist in the process, which had amused Thor to no end.

He’d become spoiled on Sakaar.

With the thought, Thor’s good mood was considerably doused.

Sakaar, where this entire mess had started.

And by mess, he of course meant his damned foolish heart beginning once again to nurture that familiar flame of hope he could never quite extinguish, when it came to his wayward brother.

Even following his “betrayal”, Thor had felt it smouldering still, flaring to something close to full life when he had appeared with the Statesman back on the Bifrost, fully armored and as big as life itself, what for all his gloating.

Even now, it put a small smile on Thor’s face, the idea of Loki talking himself up, shrouding himself with an exaggerated glamour and taking on the role of Asgard’s “savior” as easily as Thor would have once taken up Mjölnir.

The act, Thor knew without doubt, mainly for the benefit of his own amusement.

“Loki,” Thor murmured with a small and somewhat reluctant laugh.

Then, aboard the Statesman, Loki reassuring him that he was there… then standing unfalteringly at Thor’s right hand side as he’d assumed his place on the makeshift “throne”.

It did not go unnoticed to Thor that it was the first time in a long, long time that Loki had chosen not to run.

(Nor had the fact that he had never delivered on his promised hug).

The time spent travelling on the Statesman had been something of a struggle, though it was hardly unexpected.

Only a few weeks into their three months of travel, and Loki had grown...fidgety.

He hid it well, but Thor knew that he was hardly accustomed to so much time spent in one place with no option of an exit. Thor had tried to give him space, allow him to come and go as he pleased along the length of the ship without much to require his attention.

However, whether it was a response to the wandering eyes of curious citizens that followed him everywhere or simply an avoidance tactic due to his own trepidation about how his return might be perceived, Loki had spent a majority of the time travelling stuck close to Thor’s side, following him to council meetings and remaining a silent company when Thor retreated to their chambers to work.

Not that Thor had minded in the slightest. After years spent apart on...less than desirable terms, it was something of a comfort to have Loki’s unwavering presence beside him, more often than not.

It would not have been unwelcome, therefore, had the comfortable nature of the relationship between them continued uninterrupted.

Things were hardly ever that simple, however, especially not with their particular family history.

After a time, Loki’s restlessness began to rear its ugly head. He became slightly sharper, seeming to be at war with himself over wanting to cling to Thor’s side whilst simultaneously barking at him to keep his distance.

He lashed out any time Valkyrie had attempted a conversation (big surprise there) and, though Banner had mainly avoided the easily irritable god of mischief, he hadn’t entirely escaped without facing his ire, either.

Thor had chided him about the behavior a number of times, though he was seldom met with anything beyond Loki turning his foul mood on Thor, or simply growling and remaining silent.

Needless to say, their arrival to Midgard was a relief for a number of reasons.

Loki’s mood had improved, more or less, though Thor could sense an underlying current of something like frustration just below the surface, despite Loki’s efforts to paste a mask of sarcastic indifference upon himself, more often than not.

At least now, he could exit the ship and walk the cliffside as long as he wanted, when that irritation bubbled to the surface.

This had unsettled Thor, initially. He had often sat up, staring out the window or pacing outside the ship, when Loki disappeared into the foggy Norweigen afternoon with hardly a word of notice.

Yet each time he had returned, his ruffled feathers seemingly soothed, and each time Thor feared would be the last that he did so.

And now this, Thor considered. Loki’s very obvious reluctance to claim a household for himself…

It wasn’t as if Thor minded the idea of his younger brother staying with him. Rather, he found himself quite comfortable with the idea of having Loki close by for at least a little while longer.

Just how long it would be, however, was a question that had begun gnawing at the back of Thor’s mind with a continually increasing insistence.

He had little knowledge, he had come to realize, of just how much time Loki had spent on Midgard over the past few years. Did he have connections? Unfinished business that he might be itching to attend to? Was this the reasoning for his restlessness and overall irritable mood?

Or was that just simply Loki being…

Well, Loki.

Thor had allowed himself to remain hopeful, however, right up until Loki’s response to Val’s question concerning housing had doused that flame, ever so slightly.

Now he wasn’t sure what to think.

If he were to tell the truth, Thor would admit that he hadn’t at all anticipated having to wonder why Loki was on New Asgard so far into their settling at all.

Hadn’t expected him to have stayed put more than a few days, if he was being entirely honest.

And yet now this, Thor’s traitorous heart once again beginning to flare to life at Loki’s continued company…

“Busy, highness?” Val’s voice cut into his thoughts, as if on cue, and Thor turned to offer his friend a small smile as she approached.

“Taking a moment of reprieve.” he admitted, nodding to the space on the grass beside him.

The Valkyrie took the offered seat and mirrored Thor’s position, elbows on her knees.

“Watching the going-ons?” she prodded, jerking her chin in the direction of the gathered mages. “Are they working on the water thing?”

“From my understanding.” Thor smirked when Valkyrie brightened at the information.

“You’re gonna love it, really.” she insisted, bumping her shoulder comfortably against his.

“I have had experience with running water, you know.” Thor laughed.

“Not magic water, though!” Val replied, fairly bouncing with the eager words.

“True.” Thor nodded his acquiesce, though in truth he could not confirm nor deny the information.

His time bouncing between the Nine Realms had begun to blur together after a time, he had to admit in all honesty.

A brief silence befell them, then, and Thor felt himself sink into the warm comfort and familiarity of it all.

Funny, he considered, how quickly Val’s company had begun to feel more familiar than almost any others he had encountered, in his lifetime.

“How is he doing?” Valkyrie spoke suddenly, and Thor didn’t have to ask about who she was addressing.

“He seems to be improving.” he replied, watching as Loki offered a few words of assistance to one of the mages beside him.

He was offered no more than a curt nod in reply, and Thor fought the urge to wince as he watched the exchange, certain that Valkyrie had not missed it, either.

She had the good grace not to mention it, however, and instead inquired, “What do you think he meant, yesterday?”

Thor frowned slightly, suddenly wishing that this were not the conversation she had chosen to pursue.

Always so perceptive, as she was.

“Meaning?” he replied, rather than address the issue head on.

“About the house.” Val did him the favor of not calling him on his obvious avoidance of the topic. “He didn’t seem enthused.”

“Loki’s always been confusing.” Thor responded with a small shrug. “Norns know that I have a hard time understanding where he’s coming from, at best.”

“So you both keep saying.” Valkyrie murmured, before continuing, “Do you think he’s going to run?”

Thor winced, but the words were out now, hanging on the air and insistent upon being addressed.

Do you think he’s going to run?

And really, when had Loki not run in the past?

(Thor had a brief flash of a memory;

Loki’s hand loosening its hold on Gungnir…)

He pushed the thought hastily away, his stomach turning unpleasantly at the memory.

“I don’t know.” he finally answered, truthfully.

“Me neither.” Valkyrie hummed. “Not that that’s any surprise. I hardly know him the way you do.”

She shot Thor a very unsubtle look.

“You think I should talk to him.” Thor grumbled, though he could hardly say that he disagreed.

It was just…a “talk” with Loki never ended up just being a talk, and Thor was often left with more questions than he had going in.

“It doesn’t matter what I think.” Valkyrie dismissed, pointedly avoiding Thor’s gaze and picking casually at the lint on her sweater.

It looked warm, chunky and dark blue. It suited her, Thor thought, though seeing a majority of the citizens of Asgard in Midgardian garb was, if anything, a bit odd.

Only Heimdall had remained insistent upon maintaining his Asgardian appearance, and Thor had found himself unable to argue.

Even Loki had acquiesced with no argument, him actually having been one of the first to don a more Midgardian-friendly look.

(And Thor had found with little surprise and more amusement that most of his little brother’s outfits had consisted more or less of a variety of dark trousers and green sweaters.

He was well suited, as well).

“You are right, though.” Thor finally spoke, forcing himself back to the present moment and the conversation at hand.

“Can’t say it’s not nice to hear.” Valkyrie replied brightly. “About what?”

Thor huffed softly, turning back to study where Loki was stood, his arms crossed and shoulders just barely hunched.

As if sensing his gaze, Loki turned to meet Thor’s eye, a brief flash of confusion crossing his face before he raised a somewhat awkward hand in acknowledgment.

“I do need to talk to him.” Thor spoke, raising a hand in Loki’s direction before turning his attention fully to where Val had watched the exchange with something like an amused smile on her face.

“If that’s what you think.” she dismissed with a small shrug, though Thor could tell that she was pleased with the development.

“Unless that’s something you’d be willing to do.” Thor ventured, fighting the urge to laugh outright at the horrified expression that crossed Valkyrie’s face at the suggestion.

“I’d rather die.” she proclaimed, and Thor did not doubt that she fully meant the sentiment.

“Really?” he pondered the words with exaggerated seriousness. “Even if it were a direct command from your king?” he shot her a small, sly look.

“Even more so, in that case.” Val returned without hesitation, though she seemed hard-pressed to keep a smile from her own face.

Thor let loose a laugh, then.

And, though he would rather have let things lie there, Thor found himself sobering before voicing one final question.

“Tell me, Val.” he began, and she turned to face him in reply, a warm smile creeping onto her face at the nickname.

Suddenly, Thor found himself quite unable to return it, his stomach tightening slightly with the anxiety his next words brought to life.

“If you had to guess, based upon what you know of my brother,” he swallowed before forcing himself to press ahead.

“Would you expect him to run?”

Valkyrie blinked, glancing away and clearly mulling her answer over carefully.

It was a rare thing to see her hesitate so, and Thor felt his stomach tighten further at the sight.

“Had you asked me on Sakaar,” she began, hesitantly, at first, “The Loki I met then...I would have said yes. Would have been grateful for it, at that.”

“And now?” Thor prodded, though he had the unpleasant feeling that he knew the answer.

“I don’t know.” Valkyrie replied with a sympathetic grimace.

Thor paused, pondering the response before nodding and turning back to watch as Loki and the small group began walking into the house before them.

And, as if not quite able to stop himself, Loki glanced briefly over his shoulder in Thor’s direction before he disappeared entirely out of sight.

“Me neither.” Thor murmured, the hopeful flame giving a small shimmer as something like doubt curled in his stomach.

---

“Well, I think that that went particularly well.”

Thor hummed in what might be considered agreement, but remained silent as they trekked through the halls of the Statesman, his eye trained firmly on the path before them, rather than turning to address Loki at all.

Loki felt himself faltering, feeling as one might if they had missed a step on the way up or down a staircase.

The sudden swoop of the gut included.

It was rare that he found himself unable to goad his older brother into conversation, and the continued, stubborn silence coming from Thor, though not unfamiliar, was something that Loki hadn’t thought that he would have been experiencing again for quite some time.

“Do you disagree with them?” Loki forced himself to continue, thinking back to the council meeting that had ended only minutes before.

It hadn’t been to discuss anything particularly substantial. Rather, the remaining members of the council had only seemed interested in touching base on the continuing development of the village, if anything. Almost as if they were actively searching for an excuse to hold the meeting, rather than appear with nothing at all to discuss.

And, had Loki had to hazard a guess a week before, he would have confidently offered that Thor would much rather have bypassed the meeting entirely, rather than spend over half a Midgardian hour talking in circles and discussing events that had taken place over a week beforehand.

Now, though…

Now the god of thunder seemed almost impossibly more difficult than he had been, previously.

It could have been that Thor was just tired, Loki reminded himself firmly. The preparations for the village were, after all, well under way. It was understandable that Thor might be feeling the pressures of the continued demands for his attention from his citizens.

“I do not doubt the council.” Thor replied at last, his tone held carefully neutral, something left vaguely unspoken behind the words.

Loki decided then that silence, however uncomfortable, might be preferable to a continued effort at conversation.

They had spent the last 6 years or so in silence, after all. What was a few hours more, at this point?

Which would have been a perfectly acceptable decision, Loki thought, were he capable of sticking with it, personally.

He glanced, as subtly as he could manage, over to where his brother was stalking down the hallway beside him, noting the tension held in Thor’s shoulders and the stormy expression that had befallen his face.

He was changed, Loki noted with some surprise.

He’d thought, perhaps foolishly, that they had worked past this. The way he had willingly sought out Thor’s company…

The way Thor had seemed to accept, even anticipate, the company.

And now this. Thor had spent the entirety of the previous council meeting pointedly avoiding Loki’s gaze.

He had, Loki considered now, hardly even offered an interaction to the council beyond a curt nod or muttered “aye”, when it seemed appropriate.

The thought filled Loki with a small bit of hope, though he considered that it probably should not have.

However…

Perhaps it indicated that Thor’s sudden ire was not directed at him entirely.

Though, if past quarries had any say on present occurrences, Loki being the sole recipient of Thor’s irritation would hardly be a surprise to anyone. Especially to Loki, himself.

His mind flickered involuntarily, then, to a moment the week prior, when Loki had let himself into their shared rooms, and Thor had glanced up from the papers spread out on the desk before him, a wide and sunny smile spreading across his face.

Welcoming…

And Loki had been left a bit fearful at how easily he had found himself hard-pressed not to return the smile in equal measure.

Sentiment, the word rose unbidden to the forefront of his mind, and Loki’s gut turned unpleasantly with it.

“Loki?” Thor’s voice broke into his reverie, and Loki found (shamefully, almost humiliatingly) that he had slowed considerably in their walk, his shoulder brushing the corridor wall to his left as if he meant to lean on it for support.

“I--” he began, before clearing his throat against the nausea rising suddenly, choking out what remained of his breath.

“I only--are you well?” Thor inquired, almost hesitantly, though Loki knew well not to be fooled.

Hesitance was not in Thor’s nature, after all.

“Fine,” he breathed, his voice coming out much weaker than he had intended, and cleared his throat before continuing, “It might suit you best to go on without me. I find that I am--” he paused, grappling for a suitable excuse before offering, somewhat lamely, “Tired.”

Thor seemed to pause, his gaze sharp and keen and suddenly trained entirely on Loki, and Loki prayed to whoever might be listening that the sudden trembling of his knees was not outwardly visible.

Oh, Norns, he thought, swallowing thickly. Make up your mind, you oaf.

“Alright.” Thor finally relented, shuffling a bit before nodding stiffly. “I’ll see you at lunch, then?”

“I wouldn’t wait up.” Loki replied, and swallowed again, almost convulsively, despite his best attempts to avoid doing so.

He needed to leave. Now.

Thor seemed to bristle at the words, his mouth turning down into something Loki would almost call a scowl, were he not so certain that the “New” Thor had sworn off such impish displays of emotion.

They were hardly becoming of a king, after all.

“Very well.” Thor nodded again, before turning swiftly and without another word to carry on down the passage toward where his companions would no doubt be awaiting his presence.

Loki waited patiently, forcing himself to keep an eye on Thor’s retreating form until he had disappeared around the next corner, before he bolted in the direction of their chambers.

Not a moment too soon, it would seem.

Loki barely made it to the refresher adjacent to their rooms before he was vomiting, his stomach heaving with the effort of expelling everything left in it from the previous 12 hours or so.

Give or take, Loki considered wryly, before heaving again.

It was hardly his first experience with the visceral reaction, and yet Loki found himself remaining knelt on the cool floor below following the spell, unwilling to arise just yet.

He could remember a time long ago, almost too long ago to recall in any detail, wherein he would have been left in tears after a dismissal from his older brother.

Whether it was one of Thor’s foul moods or simply because his elder brother had wished to spend time with his friends, in youth Loki had spent a fair few evenings closed away in his chambers, fighting the sobbing fit he could feel cloying at the back of his throat, unwilling to go ignored after Thor had disappeared to whatever task had called his attention, beyond Loki himself

Sentiment, the thought struck again, and he had to scramble back to the bowl to heave once more.

It was pathetic, Loki decided, swallowing against the nausea still clinging to him and wiping irritably at the salty tear tracks that had cascaded down his cheeks during the fit.

If Thor had decided that he was to treat Loki with a new suspicion, that was up to him. He was grown, of course. He could do what he wanted.

And what was a little bitter suspicion between brothers, after all?

It was hardly as if the sentiment were an unfounded one. Norns knew that Loki probably deserved Thor’s treatment.

And if that included avoiding him pointedly, Loki would take it in stride. He had, after all, spent quite a while without his big brother’s company, in the past. He was hardly a stranger to that particular loneliness.

He would adapt. He always had.

Why should this time be any different?

---

“How are you settling in?”

Thor glanced up from where he was placing a bag on the floor beside the door to the bedroom, noting out the corner of his eye the way Loki tensed at the new company suddenly entering the house.

They had spent the first few hours of the morning moving their few belongings into Thor’s newly finished home, and Thor had noticed with some dismay that Loki had remained tense and jumpy throughout the process, him hardly having offered more than a dozen words to Thor as they had worked.

“It’s fine.” Thor finally responded to the inquiry, turning to face Brunnhilde with a warm smile on his face. “More than fine.”

The Valkyrie hummed, pausing with her hands on her hips to survey the space.

“Not as nice as mine’s going to be.” she finally replied with a small shrug. “Still wish that you would have agreed to the ceremony.”

Thor fought the urge to roll his eye, and heaved a small and weary sigh at the words.

“Not you too.” he chided. “I’ve heard enough from Heimdall.”

“Probably deserved it, too.” Valkyrie teased, striding forward to reach for the bundle of food Thor was extracting from the pack, which he gladly handed over with a nod. “They really didn’t want anything fancy. Just a sort of commemoration.”

“I know.” Thor relented. “But the house was more than enough.”

Val hummed again in response, shooting him a reproving look that suggested that they would more likely than not be continuing the discussion later.

She was worse than Odin had been about keeping him in line, Thor had come to realize, and he wasn’t sure whether or not he was grateful for the guidance.

More likely than not he was, he considered. He wasn’t sure where he would be now, without her consistently pushing him into addressing the issues he’d just as soon ignore until they sorted themselves out.

As if reading his mind, Valkyrie glanced to where Loki was stood, his back to the two of them, unloading a blanket from the bag at his feet and folding it neatly to place at the end of the sofa in the corner of the room.

She raised her brows at Thor, then, glancing between him and his younger brother with a pointed look.

Thor shrugged in response, shaking his head and finding it difficult to hold her questioning gaze for long.

He’d never been very good at navigating Loki’s occasional dark moods, and this time was no different.

From where she was stood in the kitchen, Val rolled her eyes dramatically before speaking again.

“How are you finding it, Highness? Is it to your liking?”

Loki stilled, remaining turned away long enough to run his hands once more over the folded blanket before he turned to nod politely in Valkyrie’s direction.

He very pointedly avoided glancing to where Thor was stood, and Thor felt his stomach twist at that.

“It is a...suitable arrangement.” Loki replied, at last, making as if to turn back around as soon as the words had left him.

Thor fought the urge to sigh again, considering that if anyone were worse than he at navigating Loki’s foul moods then it was Loki himself.

“What?” The Valkyrie goaded, before he could return to ignoring their presence, “Not to your liking? Perhaps you’d prefer a palace.”

The words were a little sharper than even Val probably realized, and Thor found himself wincing slightly, though he turned slightly to hide the reaction.

Loki, for his part, simply sneered an ugly smile in retort.

“And perhaps you’d like to return to your ship,” he growled lowly.

The Valkyrie grinned slightly in the way Thor knew she often did when faced with a challenge.

He did sigh, then, making little effort to hide it as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall behind to wait out the inevitable storm that was to follow.

“Oh, I dunno.” Valkyrie finally responded, striding forward to open the cooler at the end of the kitchen (which would soon be replaced with an actual refrigerator, when the supplies that had been ordered had all been accounted for) and reaching inside to fish out a bottle. “Thought I might stay for a while. Help you get settled and all that.”

Loki’s mouth thinned slightly at the edges, and Thor wasn’t sure how to effectively convey to Valkyrie that the movement promised nothing good.

“I’m not sure that you’d find it to your taste.” Loki replied, tilting his head slightly, almost condescendingly. “We’re astonishingly short on alcohol. You’d be in and out within the half hour.”

Valkyrie bristled, though made no visible effort to back down.

Right, Thor thought, best to cut this off before it started. He stepped forward to cut in, only for the sudden, cool smile spreading across Val’s face to halt him in his tracks.

“You know, I think you might be right.” she responded, cracking the bottle she held open with her teeth and spitting the cap so it clattered to the ground between Loki’s spread feet. “Though I’m a little surprised that you’re sticking around. The company seems a little refined for your taste. If the company you’ve chosen to keep in the past is anything to go by, anyway.”

Thor watched as Loki’s carefully maintained facade cracked slightly, indigance coloring his face as he took a deep breath to respond.

Only for Valkyrie to offer a small wave before turning sharply on one heel, muttering a, “See you.” to Thor before exiting the house entirely, the sound of door slamming shut behind her echoing in the sudden, tense silence of the room.

The two remaining occupants of the house stood still, for a moment, each remaining focussed on the door Valkyrie had just disappeared through, rather than the other.

“I’d just as soon have you not speak to our friends that way.” Thor finally murmured, forcing himself to maintain a carefully controlled tone.

It was hardly the first time he had chided Loki about his treatment of their companions, though it had been many years since such an occurrence had taken place, and Thor would have thought it almost humorous, were it not for his younger brother’s continued tension.

“Your friends.” Loki snapped, and Thor felt his heart sink slightly at the words.

Again, not unfamiliar, though he wished desperately that it were otherwise.

“She would be your friend, too, gladly I believe, were you to make any kind of effort at all.” Thor replied, turning finally to face where Loki was stood, both hands clenched tightly at his sides.

Loki snorted, the sound ugly and harsh in the otherwise quiet room.

“She has no desire to tarnish her good character keeping such...undesirable company.” he muttered, and though he tried to hide it, Thor could easily detect the underlying current of hurt running just beneath the words.

“You do not know that.” Thor reasoned, though he suspected that the words would do little good, at this point. “Brunnhilde is a good friend. She has been a steady companion, and--”

“Oh, yes.” Loki interrupted with a scowl, and Thor recognized too late the error of his words. “I know well how much you value her company. So steadfast, as it has been.”

“Loki,” Thor warned, already shaking his head. “You know I do not mean it that way.”

“Really?” Loki challenged, turning his head to face Thor so sharply that Thor thought he might have heard the click of the muscles in his neck. “I have no doubt of how it was meant.”

Thor faltered, watching with a sinking heart as Loki seemed to struggle to maintain control of his breathing, it leaving him through his nose in short, sharp bursts.

He looked, Thor considered, more like the Loki he had battled on Midgard some 5 years before than he had in quite some time.

“Your reason has left you, brother.” Thor forced himself to continue, raising both hands in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. “I only ask that you calm yourself before continuing this line of thought.”

Loki’s face smoothed out, then, though Thor knew better than to be relieved at the shift.

“Me?” Loki replied, at length. “Oh, I am calm. Seeing with perfect clarity, if you prefer.”

“But you are not.” Thor disagreed with a small shake of his head, before he could consider the words. “Nor have you been for some time. Loki…” he paused, taking a breath before forging onward, “What ails you, brother? I know that we haven’t been at our best, in the past—“

“No, we haven’t.” Loki interrupted, his shoulders drawn tense and his gaze narrowed.

“But you can bring anything to me.” Thor continued, unheeding. “I want to listen.”

He let the words hang on the air between them for a moment, forcing a hopeful smile that he didn’t quite feel onto his face.

Please, he thought, though didn’t dare speak the sentiment aloud.

Loki seemed to hesitate slightly at the words, his face creasing into a small frown as he seemed to consider how best to reply to that.

It was, Thor thought, a hopeful sign.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Loki finally responded, though the words held little heat--sounded almost hesitant, truthfully.

“I grow tired of this silence, brother.” Thor responded at once, working to keep any irritation from his tone. It would do little good to rile Loki up further, in his present state.

In any state, really.

 

“If--if things are not to your liking,” Thor began, swallowing and forcing himself to continue, “If the house--”

“The house?” Loki interrupted, sounding genuinely confused.

Thor blinked at the question, the silence between them growing thick with tension as the two surveyed each other somewhat warily.

“Loki,” Thor finally began again, though he was somewhat uncertain of how to continue.

“If you’ll excuse me.” Loki cut jn smoothly, keeping his gaze carefully averted as he skirted around where Thor was stood to cross the room toward the front door.

“Brother.” Thor warned, feeling his stomach tighten as Loki reached for the doorknob. “This isn’t finished.”

Don’t go.

Loki seemed to pause, then, hand frozen bare inches from the doorknob, before he turned to nod curtly in Thor’s direction with a small, humorless smile pasted onto his face.

“Sire.” he muttered, before turning sharply to let himself out of the house.

And Thor let him go, finding himself suddenly struck motionless as he watched through the small window to his left as his brother strode determinedly away and, eventually, out of sight.

---

It was 8 hours before Loki returned.

Thor sat on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and eye itchy as he held it open and wide in the dark of the room.

From outside the cracked door to the bedroom came the unmistakable sound of the front door opening, before it was shut with a quiet snik.

At the sound, Thor released a breath he hadn’t realized that he’d been holding and raised both hands to run them wearily over his face.

The sound of the sofa creaking softly sounded from the other side of the door, indicating that Loki was attempting to get comfortable without making a good deal of noise.

Thor felt his heart twist at the sound, so familiar from the evenings of their youth, when Loki would sneak quietly into Thor’s chambers after a particularly bad nightmare, attempting to make as little noise as possible whilst curling up on the settee in the corner of the room.

Calmed by Thor’s presence even from across the room, though unwilling to disturb his elder brother’s comfort with his problems, even then.

Come to me, Loki, Thor thought, almost willing his brother to enter the room and simply talk to him. Whatever it is…

The moment passed, however, all sound from the living room going silent and still.

With another sigh, Thor turned and lay on his side on the mattress below, not bothering with the blankets tucked beneath him as he twisted his eye shut against the pervading darkness of the unfamiliar room.

He couldn’t stand it, he realized with a sinking of his gut. Would not stand for another day of this ever-present, heavy silence between them.

He needed to know what Loki expected of him. Whether he planned on leaving (again, always leaving) or remaining by Thor’s side.

The alternative was unimaginable, even here in the dark, but the questions were worse.

And, Thor considered with little humor, he’d had just about enough of running from the truth.

---

“Why are you here?”

Loki blinked, a little taken aback at the sudden shadow falling over the flowers on the ground before him, and quickly put a stopper on the gentle waves of magic he’d been pulsating into the soft soil beneath his fingers.

It had been over two months since the Valkyrie had requested his assistance with the project, and Loki had to admit that he was really beginning to feel a sense of possession over the growing development of the gardens.

And, though she had initially stuck around and watched Loki was a poorly concealed critical eye the first few times he had helped, Valkyrie must have found what she was looking for after the first two or three sessions, as Loki was now allowed the freedom of wandering into the gardens at his own leisure to continue the work.

It was small stuff. Parlor tricks, really, but Loki often found himself having to take small breaks between each session, his chest heaving slightly with the effort of the encouragement.

His magic, loathe as he was to admit it, had weakened significantly during his time on Sakaar, it falling out of practice with almost astonishing ease after 4 years having kept an almost constant glamour in place.

Not so badly that he couldn’t reach it still, but just enough to make small efforts like these a bit more...difficult.

The thought made shame, warm and unpleasant, curl in Loki’s gut, and he pushed it away with some difficulty.

“What?” he finally responded to the inquiry, a bit of irritation creeping into the tone, and raised his head to blink slightly in the sunlight.

“Why are you here?” Thor repeated, a determined frown set firmly into his features.

Ah, so they were having that conversation.

It had arrived with no small amount of expectation, of course. Loki had spent the past several weeks more or less dancing around Thor’s obvious irritation and suspicion.

He had, however, hoped that it might have been held off for a little while longer, all things considered.

So Loki found himself mirroring Thor’s frown, though his was fashioned more of confusion than anything.

“In the gardens?” he finally questioned, deliberately skirting the issue with a pointedly raised brow. “You know of my promise to the Valkyrie--”

“New Asgard.” Thor interrupted, the words bursting forth as if rehearsed. “Why are you in New Asgard?”

Loki fought the urge to wince at the words, keeping his expression carefully neutral as Thor seemed to gain confidence in his ventured conversation.

“It’s been over four months since we landed.” Thor continued, still with that somewhat pre-rehearsed tone behind the words. “Settled. Why haven’t you--you run?” his expression faltered, so briefly Loki might have believed that he had imagined it, before he pressed on determinedly, “You’ve had every opportunity.”

Thor gestured to the woods to Loki’s back with a raise of his brows, then.

Loki blinked again, caught slightly off his guard by the sudden rapid-fire line of questioning.

And quite without an answer, as it were.

Why hadn’t he run? The opportunity was there, surely. And Thor had certainly made no secret of his lukewarm reception to Loki’s having stuck around as long he had so far, as it was.

And besides, what was left of the citizens of their once Noble Asgard very decidedly did not care for Loki’s company. More often than not, he was met with suspicious glares from all involved, when out and about in the village.

Which was perhaps a part of why the development of the gardens had seemed a more comfortable activity, at present.

“Loki?” Thor prompted, his frown deepening as silence stretched on a bit too long for his liking.

“Well, it just seemed like the place to be.” Loki deflected easily, rolling his shoulders before standing in one smooth motion, now at eye-level with his brother. He smirked, the expression feeling only slightly forced as he continued, “So much going on. So many...opportunities.”

He wasn’t entirely sure where the words were sprouting from, only that they seemed the most natural, at the present moment.

Some part of him, he supposed, had hoped that the words might get a rise out of Thor. Might make him huff and roll his eye, or possibly even offer a rueful smile.

Instead, his face only darkened, brow lowering over his remaining eye as he seemed to study Loki for a long moment.

Loki shifted, though forced himself not to glance away in the face of the scrutiny.

The interaction was beginning to feel a little too familiar for his liking, he considered distantly.

“There is no throne here.” Thor said at last, shaking his head slightly and crossing his arms over his broad chest. “At least, not one that you’d desire.”

“I never wanted a throne.” Loki replied immediately, the words leaving him for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 years. Immediately, he felt his ears heat, though he forced himself to maintain a stony expression.

Hadn’t they been through this?

To his surprise, Thor blinked, before huffing a hollow laugh.

“Funny.” he murmured, his gaze still dark and never leaving Loki’s. “Consider me fooled, then.”

Before Loki could reply (before he could even think of how to reply), Thor had turned and began trekking back up the hill he had descended only moments before, the bitter wind whipping his jacket around his broad frame.

Loki watched him disappear, a confused scoff leaving his lips before he could quite catch it.

It had been quite some time since they had failed to bounce back from an argument the way they seemed to, now. This, coupled with Thor’s newfound suspicion…

With a small frown, Loki glanced back down to where his attention had previously been trained, finding quite without surprise that the flowers at his feet had shriveled and browned in the cold earth below.

---

“I take it things didn’t go quite as planned?”

Thor grunted noncommittally, allowing the door to fall loudly shut behind him and hardly sparing a glance to where Valkyrie was sat with her elbows planted on the kitchen table.

“Didn’t you just move into your own place?” Thor snapped somewhat irritably.

“You’re in a mood.” Valkyrie murmured into the mug of tea cradled between her hands.

“You would be too, if you had the most obstinate and confusing brother in the Nine Realms.” Thor muttered darkly, tossing his coat onto the sofa before moving to join Val in the kitchen.

It was still an odd feeling, having a home to come back to, rather than reboarding the Statesman and sneaking off to hide in the captain’s chambers like some tween sneaking back home after having been out all night.

“So it definitely didn’t go as planned.” Valkyrie assessed, moving to kick the cooler closed where Thor had opened it.

“Val…” he warned, the weariness he’d been fighting since the unsatisfactory conversation with Loki settling over him now like a shroud.

“It’s 2 o’clock.” Valkyrie supplied, quite unhelpfully. “You’ve got a council meeting after this. Save the drinks for after.”

Thor grumbled slightly, though he did as requested and moved to make himself his own cup of tea instead.

“So…” Valkyrie prodded, raising her brows expectantly.

“He was as unforthcoming as I told you he would be.” Thor replied after a moment, determining that he may as well offer the information up front, rather than have her heckle it out of him one way or another.

“He wouldn’t talk]? Doesn’t sound like him.”

Thor hesitated. In truth, it might be a bit easier for someone unfamiliar with their….history, for him to answer the question in an affirmative and leave it at that.

He suspected, however, that Valkyrie would not be easily fooled by the dismissal.

“Not exactly.” he finally admitted.

“You asked him why he’s still here?” Val prodded.

“More or less.” Thor shrugged.

“Like you wanted to.” Val pressed, unrelenting.

“Aye.” Thor muttered, “And he deflected the question.”

“Seems like a pattern with him.” Valkyrie pursed her lips as if in thought. “Maybe you scared him.”

Thor snorted before he could stop himself, very little humor behind the sound. “Loki’s not frightened by me.”

Valkyrie made a somewhat disbelieving face. “Whatever you say…”

“I just…” Thor paused, struggling to voice exactly why he was frustrated.

Again, Thor fought the urge to admit that he had hardly anticipated that he would be having a conversation pertaining to Loki’s lingering around New Asgard this far into the game.

And yet here he was, with Loki sleeping on Thor’s sofa and helping with the development of their new home as if it meant something to him.

As if he genuinely cared.

Which was, Thor assumed, ridiculous. He had referred to the village as “your home” too many times in conversation for Thor to think otherwise. As if making a determined point of detaching himself from the place, their new home, entirely.

Which would have been a good deal more believable, had he actually made the effort to actually distance himself at all.

“If I may be so bold,” Valkyrie began, when Thor’s silence had stretched on a bit too long to be considered casual, the formality behind the words distinctly sarcastic, “I would venture to assume that your being confused by your little brother. It...It’s not exactly a rare occurrence?”

“Hardly,” Thor snorted, unable to stop the small, amused smile from quirking at the corner of his mouth, despite his irritation at the entire situation.

“And I take it that ‘talking things out’ has never really made much of a difference, in the past.” It wasn’t spoken as a question, but Thor found himself pausing at the Valkyrie’s words, nonetheless.

How many times in the past had he made the effort to “talk things out” with Loki?

He had long since acknowledged his own tendency to ignore problems until they had either sorted themselves out or become too large to ignore any longer, instead requiring a show of force to resolve, at length.

“Oh, god.” Valkyrie was murmuring, seeming to read his silence. “Don’t tell me that the two of you are one of those, ‘emotions are too complicated for us to acknowledge’ sibling sets.”

“Coming from you,” Thor tossed back, though the words were more teasing than anything.

True to form, Valkyrie smirked slightly before leaning casually back into her seat.

“Fair point.” she admitted, at length, “But we’re not talking about me.”

“I know,” Thor growled, beginning to pace the length of the kitchen as he waited for the water for his tea to boil, if only to let off some excess energy.

“You need to talk to him,”

“I know,”

“Or he needs to talk to you…”

“I know.”

“You know what I think?” Valkyrie inquired, leaning forward and narrowing her eyes thoughtfully, seemingly unaffected by Thor’s increasing irritability.

“And what is that?” Thor replied finally, knowing that it would do no good to draw things out. Not when Valkyrie would get to her point either way, and collapsed into the dining chair across from his companion.

“I think that he needs a compliment.” Val concluded with a triumphant nod.

Thor blinked, shaking his head slightly. “What?” he finally inquired, blinking again as the words began to register. “A--”

“A compliment.” Valkyrie confirmed with another firm nod. “He loves them, you know.”

“I know.” Thor agreed, and Norns did he know. Had known since they were children, when an encouragement from their mother or Thor himself had made Loki preen for days on end, his magic stronger than ever, in those following days.

And that wasn’t even to mention the rare, few occasions after their father had offered him a scarce word of encouragement.

“So offer him one.” Valkyrie continued, “Or an encouragement. Something. Break the ice.”

“I didn’t think you were one to be so concerned with Loki’s wellbeing.” Thor replied, shaking his head in confusion.

“He’s a shitheel.” Val admitted with little hesitation, “But watching the two of you dance around each other is more painful than anything I have experienced in a long, long time.” she smirked, “I can’t imagine how your parents handled it.”

“They didn’t.” Thor countered, before he could stop himself. “Loki and I, we--things weren’t always--he--” he broke off, struggling to convey exactly what had transpired, even now.

“Listen,” Valkyrie interrupted smoothly, mercifully saving Thor from embarrassing himself further. “I don’t want to know. I’d rather stay out of your family squabbles.”

“Funny,” Thor smirked, if for nothing else than to move away from the present topic. “Because it seems to me that serving under my father, fighting alongside myself, protecting my brother, and fighting to defeat my sister is quite the opposite of that sentiment.”

Valkyrie made a sour face, and Thor fought the urge to burst into jolly laughter at the sight.

“At least half of those were against my better judgement.” Val pointed out after a moment, still looking vaguely as if she had swallowed something unsavory.

“Sure,” Thor agreed, grinning a bit when Val shot him a wry look.

“Talk to him.” she repeated, finally, standing to click the stove off where the water for Thor’s tea was boiling, and deposited her own mug into the sink. “I mean it.”

“I know you do.” Thor acquiesced with a solemn nod. “And I thank you for your council.”

“Alright,” Val waved off, an amused smile playing at the corners of her mouth, despite the brisk dismissal. “No need for the formalities.”

She strode across the room, then, pausing briefly to grip at Thor’s shoulder.

“See you at the meeting.” she called over her shoulder, reaching out for the doorknob before stopping and turning, just barely, to address Thor once more.

“I truly think it’ll make a difference, you know.” she murmured, the words almost inaudible.

Thor heard them, however, and offered another solemn nod in return, remaining facing the kitchen, rather than turning to meet her head on.

“I know,” he repeated for what felt like the millionth time. “I will--” he inhaled a deep, somewhat tremulous breath. “I’ll give it a try.” he admitted, at length, swallowing past the small bits of pride still clinging at the back of his throat.

Valkyrie scoffed, the sound more fond than anything, before she turned and exited entirely, leaving Thor in more solitude than he was quite comfortable with, at present.

Left alone with his thoughts as he was.

---

“Loki!”

Loki froze where he was sat, a number of flowers slowly blossoming in the soft earth below and around his legs.

“Thor,” he returned, tone held carefully cool and calculated, and made to stand as his brother approached him.

“I grow tired of your tricks.” Thor declared as he slowed to a halt, both his face and his tone held frighteningly blank.

Loki felt himself bristle at the words, though he forced himself to remain impassive, even still.

“And here I thought you were so fond of them.” he finally returned, fighting the urge to take a step backward at Thor’s darkening expression.

“If you will not leave,” his brother declared sharply, one hand curling into a tight fist at his side, “Then you force my hand.”

Loki swallowed, his stomach churning at the words.

It was hard to doubt the sentiment, when the sky behind Thor darkened so.

“For mercy’s sake,” he countered, rather than allow his words to betray the fear he truly felt, running rapidly through his veins with each pulse of his madly stuttering heart. “Get it over with, then.”

“So be it.” Thor returned easily, and raised a hand--

---

Loki jerked, and his head smacked unceremoniously against the wall beside him as he inhaled sharply, willing himself to remain silent even as he struggled to wake fully.

From the next room over, he could sense Thor’s continued snores, the faint sound bringing him a grounding sense of peace and comfort, even now.

He was out of options, he realized, reality flooding slowly back in as he continued to struggle for air.

Thor, the Valkyrie, Banner, even Heimdall…

Their good nature had run dry, he felt, a familiar sense of displacement beginning to set in heavily alongside the stark realization.

He was out of time. Thor would have sensed it, of course. Would have spent the weeks prior attempting to drive Loki, the unwanted vagabond, out of their new home utilizing whatever means necessary before resorting to the blatant truth.

That he was unwanted, Loki had known; been well aware, truthfully.

And yet…

And yet it hurt, he acknowledged begrudgingly, curling back on his side and squeezing both eyes shut against the steady ache growing at his right temple from where it had struck the wall.

Somehow, even now, it still hurt.

---

“Would you not join us, Loki?”

Loki blinked once, then again, willing his vision to even out so that he might be able to focus on where his brother was stood in the kitchen, expression somewhat hopeful and trained unrelentingly on Loki himself.

“What?” Loki inquired hesitantly, swallowing against the sick that threatened to climb its way up at the back of his throat.

The last, clinging reminder of a nightmare, he realized bitterly.

“For breakfast.” Thor clarified, when Loki’s own silence had probably stretched too long past the normal conventions of what was acceptable.

From where she was sat at the kitchen table, Loki could just make out the Valkyrie watching him from the corner of her eye, though she did make a spectacular effort to appear otherwise.

Loki would have almost been fooled, he considered, had he not been so accustomed to being watched in such a manner.

“I--” Loki cut himself off, coughing slightly past the sudden clotting at his throat before continuing, as if the hesitation had not occurred at all, “I’m not sure that either of you would find me good company, at present.”

In truth, Loki simply wanted to race to the bathroom and rinse quickly before hastening to fulfill some duty out in the village--

If only to distract himself from the bitter taste that had been lingering on the back of his tongue since the dream that had so effectively shaken him from his sleep, the night before.

From where she was sat, the Valkyrie offered an exaggerated pout, as if her sole purpose in life was to counter Loki’s own firm decisions.

“Come now, Highness.” she chided, “Thor’s made eggs. Let’s not start the morning off by letting our king down, eh?”

Loki bristled at the condescending tone, but found himself crossing the room in spite of his own reluctance, glancing down to the skillet held firmly in Thor’s hand when he got close enough.

“It seems primal.” Loki spoke, at last, turning away from the sight of the food sizzling and willing himself not to gag at the heavy smell quickly filling the kitchen.

“It’s eggs.” Valkyrie laughed, she herself glancing eagerly to where Thor was stood at the stove and hands gripping either side of her plate as if she could hardly wait for the food to be delivered.

Loki felt his stomach shift uncomfortably again at the thought, and took another step backward toward the bathroom.

The front door swinging open halted him in his tracks, however, and he watched with displeasure blooming further in his gut as Banner let himself into the house.

“Morning, all!” he called, offering Thor and Valkyrie a polite grin before turning to nod in Loki’s direction. “Loki.”

“Not sure why the distinction was necessary.” Loki muttered before he could stop himself, feeling no pleasure in the way Banner skittered away a little uncomfortably at the words.

“Be reasonable.” Thor murmured without turning from the stove, the words more sleepy than scolding. “Hello, Bruce!” he greeted then, and Loki fought (quite unsuccessfully) to ignore the flare of jealousy that ignited briefly within his stomach at the warm tone he had taken on. “Hungry?”

“Nooo,” The Valkyrie moaned, placing a hand dramatically over her eyes as she leaned back in her seat. “We’re gonna need more eggs.”

“I am kind of, thanks.” Bruce replied with a nod, and made to sit at the table across from a now thoroughly sulking Valkyrie. “We--we all eating?” he inquired, the brief hesitation in his tone almost unnoticeable, were it not for the way his gaze flickered quickly to where Loki was still standing, immobile in the hallway.

“Dunno,” Valkyrie shrugged, “That all depends on if his highness is willing to humble himself enough to eat the common food like everyone else.”

Loki scowled in the face of the playful smile Valkyrie shot him over her shoulder.

“Ah,” Bruce nodded as if that explained everything. “It’s really good, actually, uh--Loki. Thor’s great with eggs.”

“Thank you, Bruce!” Thor returned pleasantly, placing a thick slice of bacon on another heating skillet. He turned to offer Loki a quite unreadable look, then. “You don’t have to, you know, Loki. It’s up to you.”

The words felt eerily similar to a dismissal, and Loki felt himself falter at it.

Though, ever unwilling to back down from an obvious challenger, Loki squared his shoulders before striding into the kitchen and gingerly taking the seat to Valkyrie’s left, making a pointed effort to ignore Bruce’s raised brows.

“Thank you, brother.” he replied, working to keep the sneer out of his tone. “I’d be happy to join.”

“Hooray,” Valkyrie drawled, “Less for me, then.”

As it turned out, there was plenty for everyone, and Loki found himself not 10 minutes later staring blankly down at the plate full of eggs and bacon that had been set before him.

“Eat up.” Thor addressed the entire party from where he was settling into the seat across from Loki, before taking a loud slurp from his mug of coffee.

Loki wrinkled his nose.

“Gladly take any you don’t want, princess.” The Valkyrie spoke up past a mouthful of food, eyeing Loki’s yet untouched plate, her own already half empty.

“On the contrary,” Loki nodded dryly in her direction, before delicately picking his fork up and spearing a small scoop of eggs.

He hesitated, the smell of the food before him suddenly rich and intoxicating, the sound of the others at the table chewing and swallowing…

He fought the urge to gag again and, uncomfortably aware of Thor’s gaze trained on him, moved automatically to take the bite still sat on his fork.

Beside him, Valkyrie pouted slightly, and Loki focussed on shooting her a triumphant look, rather than chewing and swallowing the heavy bite of egg on his tongue.

“So, Bruce,” Thor finally spoke, breaking the somewhat uncomfortable silence and finally (finally) tearing his gaze from where Loki was sat to address the companion to his right. “I hear that we’re making good progress on the procurement of farming supplies from the mainland.”

The conversation continued in more or less a similar fashion, and Loki forced himself to continue eating, rather than address the pointed looks he could feel coming from Valkyrie’s direction as he did so.

He continued to shovel mouthful after mouthful of the food into his mouth, keeping his mind carefully blank as he did so, as not to overthink the action.

It wasn’t that Thor was at all a poor cook. Rather, Loki assumed that anything he might have put in his mouth, at the present moment, might taste and stick similarly to the way the eggs were.

Like clay, he thought dimly.

Besides, he considered, he had never been one to eat quite as much as his older brother seemed to need to, and the portions on the plate before him had started out decidedly Thor-Sized.

“...Loki?” Thor’s voice cut into his reverie, and Loki started almost guiltily at the sound of it.

“Pardon?” he replied, clearing his throat slightly when the word came out more cracked than he had intended.

“I--” Thor paused, seemingly at war with himself, before shaking his head slightly and continuing, “I only asked if you might want some more?”

Loki was drawn entirely back to the present moment, then, noting the way both Banner and Valkyrie’s wide eyes were trained in his direction, flickering disbelievingly between Loki himself and his now-empty plate.

Loki did not dare reveal the extended moment of blankness by inquiring as to how much time had passed, but he assumed that it had hardly been a conventional amount of time to have finished the meal..

His gut swooped mightily, and he only just avoided gagging audibly at the table with all eyes on him.

“Am I free to go?” he inquired instead, words coming out far sharper than he had intended, his knuckles paling as he gripped the fabric of his pants below the table.

Distantly, he assumed that the Valkyrie had noticed the movement, and possibly Banner, as well, and found that he was hard pressed to really care, at the moment.

“What?” Thor responded, shaking his head as if bewildered.

“I ate your damned breakfast.” Loki snapped, before he could stop himself, a mixture of something like a bitter anger and anxiety beginning to bubble unpleasantly in his stomach, now. “May I go?”

There was a tense silence, wherein which Thor and Loki studied each other while the additional occupants of the room pretended not to notice.

Let them stare, Loki decided. After all, if nothing else, hadn’t their family drama always been more or less a spectacle for outside parties to gawk at?

“No--Nobody’s forcing you to be here.” Thor replied, at last, a bit of frustration clearly creeping into the words.

The double meaning behind them was more than clear, and Loki felt his stomach drop uncomfortably again with it.

“Then I’ll go.” he muttered, narrowing his eyes in Thor’s direction before standing hastily.

Which would have been a far more graceful movement, were it not for his stumbling as he did so, having to shoot a hand out quickly to catch onto the edge of the table to avoid falling entirely.

To his left, Bruce made a noise, and Valkyrie raised a brow, appearing almost as if ready to stand, herself.

Shame boiling low in his stomach, Loki nodded curtly, once, before scurrying off in the direction of the bathroom.

He didn’t miss the subtle, almost imperceptible look Thor shot him as he shut and locked the door behind himself.

He might have almost mistaken it for concern, had he not known better.

With a jerk of movement, Loki lurched toward the shower and fumbled to turn the spray on, his magic thrumming faintly as the water began to hiss loudly in the small, enclosed space.

The sensation was enough to send him over the edge, and Loki fell forward with barely enough time to sick up the breakfast he’d just ingested into the bowl of the toilet below.

For what seemed like hours afterward, Loki remained knelt on the floor, shuddering and gasping past the urge to continue heaving until all that was left of him was an empty shell.

From the kitchen, the sound of Thor’s booming laugh could just be made out, and Loki felt his breath leave him in a shuddering gasp. He squeezed his eyes shut, resting his brow on the cool porcelain below and willing himself to move, already.

In a moment, he decided, listening to the movement from the kitchen in spite of himself, skin beginning to grow clammy as steam began to pour from the still running shower.

Just a moment more.

---

The hours following Loki’s more or less fleeing from the breakfast table had been some of the most frustrating in Thor’s life, he had decided.

Which was really saying something, all things considered.

He had watched, his face grim and heart even more so, as Loki had exited the house swiftly after his shower, hastening off into the bustling village and refusing to meet anyone’s eyes as he navigated the crowds.

Something had transpired, Thor decided as he watched his brother hasten into the heart of the village. A decision of sorts had been made, it seemed. Or--

Thor growled, fighting the urge to kick the ground below in his frustration.

He didn’t know, he realized, his heart sinking at the thought. He genuinely did not know where to go from here.

Unbidden, Val’s voice rose from the back of his mind, determined and cocky, even now.

It’ll make a difference…

“Like hell, it will.” Thor snorted almost silently, watching as, from a distance away, Loki lurched sharply to avoid coming into contact with a passerby.

Loki may have been, at times, predictable, Thor considered darkly, but he was hardly controllable, for it.

And Thor knew, from efforts past. Had tried many times to talk Loki down from whatever ledge he was perched upon, knowing full well that his words would have no more effect than any others, when Loki remained determined as he often was.

And yet…

And yet, Thor thought mockingly to himself, his gut twisting unpleasantly with the words.

There was always an “and yet,” with him. Always that glimmer of hope, always that betraying sense of expectation that, even now, things might turn out for the better.

And hadn’t he been burned enough, at this point? Hadn’t his desperate optimism been backhanded to the point of surrender, yet?

And yet, Thor thought wearily, too exhausted now to ignore that flame igniting once again.

And yet, that was still his little brother.

And yet, he still desired that he remain, after everything.

After everything…

With a small huff, Thor made his descent from the hill his new home was perched upon and into the throes of the bustling village, offering a small, kind smile to anyone who happened to glance his way.

If they were surprised at their king mingling so effortless with the “common” folk, they did not show it.

And, for all his faults in ruling, Thor thought somewhat humorlessly that that might have partially boiled down to Loki’s doing.

He had, after all, spent the better part of the past 4 years or so masquerading as their father and mingling with the everyday townsfolk of Asgard routinely.

Which was, admittedly, somewhat out of character, in Thor’s opinion.

But that was the catch, wasn’t it? Perhaps Thor’s opinion of what was “in character” meant very little to none at all, anymore, when it came to Loki.

He had thought, in the past when he was a good deal bolder and more confident, that he had known his brother. Really known him, in spite of their squabbles.

Even after New York...After Loki had been so consumed with rage and a manic desire to rule that Thor had hardly recognized him…

Even then, he had held out some secret hope.

And he had told Loki as much, desiring the words to be cutting and final.

(“When we fought each other in the past…”)

He wasn’t really sure if that hope had ever been entirely extinguished.

He had wanted to, so badly wanted to believe that Loki, his baby brother, was in there, somewhere. And even now, he wished it.

At the battle for Asgard, and afterward aboard the Statesman, he had seen it. He was sure that he had.

And perhaps it was this restlessness, Thor considered, that stayed his hand. Perhaps this was just Loki.

It was only that Thor wasn’t sure that he knew what that entailed, now.

So, he considered as he approached where his brother was stood in the middle of the village, discomfort and confusion bleeding through his body language, despite his best efforts to disguise it, Thor was sure.

So this was to be a last ditch effort.

He would not be the one to force his brother to stay in one place for an elongated amount of time. The effort might be considered more hostile than anything, he thought.

And he hardly wanted to play that role in Loki’s life, anymore.

“I’m here,” his brother had admitted on the Statesman, the evening after their escape, smile spreading warm and sincere across his face.

And just how long did you plan on staying, brother? Thor thought, his stomach sinking.

As he approached, Thor watched as Loki, still apparently unaware of his presence, glanced briefly at one of the village mages hastening by, something almost like hesitation flickering over his face as he turned with a somewhat dejected look to watch her disappear around a corner.

He was lost, Thor realized with a start, only just realizing that he had nowhere to be.

It made Thor’s heart ache to watch, and he found himself wishing that he could smooth away his brother’s doubts the way he used to smooth the worried creases between his fine brows with the pad of his thumb.

“Loki,” he called, instead, wincing slightly when Loki turned, quite ungracefully, to face him, a somewhat panicked expression crossing his face before it smoothed to one of casual indifference.

“Ah,” he reacted, slowly, as if struggling to find the words to reply, for a moment. “Thor. I was just--”

“What you’re doing,” Thor interrupted, unwilling to watch Loki struggle to find an excuse for his hesitance, even now.

Admitting fear is not a weakness, brother.

There was a beat, before Loki furrowed his brow in apparent confusion.

“What?”

“What you’re doing,” Thor repeated, fighting the urge to shuffle uncomfortably in the face of Loki’s sharp scrutiny. “Here, On--on New Asgard. It’s--”

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever outcome might follow the words.

(It’ll make a difference.)

Why was this so difficult?

“It’s good of you.” Thor finished, finally, “What you’re doing--”

“You said that.” Loki interrupted, his face twisting into something almost unreadable, were it not for the strong undercurrent of confusion hovering just behind the expression.

“Yes, well,” Thor shifted and cleared his throat slightly. “The village would not be where it is now, if not for you. And,”

He paused watching as Loki’s expression shifted from one of confusion to outright suspicion in a matter of seconds.

Best get on with it, then.

“And I thank you,” he took a step forward, making an effort to ignore Loki’s subtle flinch backward,

(even now, brother?)

And extended a hand to rest it heavily on Loki’s slim shoulder.

“Brother.”

Almost immediately, Loki exhaled a sharp breath, glance flickering wildly between Thor and the cliffs behind with a sort of maddened confusion.

And when had Thor’s words of encouragement ever caused such a reaction?

“I--” Loki sputtered, swallowing thickly and drawing far enough away that Thor’s hand fell limply from his shoulder. “You--”

“Truly.” Thor interjected, willing a certain genuity into his voice.

He did mean the sentiment, after all, in spite of his own confusions and frustrations.

Loki looked even more stricken for a moment, if that were at all possible, before something like a wry comprehension dawned on his face.

“No need for thanks.” he replied, at length, offering a small, curt smile. “I am only here to serve, after all.”

The words were sharp, unexpectedly so, and Thor found himself drawing back with a small hiss as they registered.

“Even still,” he forced out, fighting valiantly against the urge to simply flee in the face of his little brother’s irritation.

Because when, in the past, had that solved anything?

“I--”

“You what?” Loki cut in smoothly, and only then did Thor realize how waxy his complexion had become, even in the past hour. “You mean to ‘thank’ me? For what, exactly? For being a burden?”

“Loki,”

“A thorn in your side?” Loki continued to chide, an ugly sneer marring his expression. “A--An embarrassment?”

“Loki,” Thor interjected, sternly, “Stop this, brother.”

“And why should I?” Loki countered, as smoothly as he might in the heat of battle.

And, oh, how Thor’s heart sang at the familiar show of character, even now.

“Because I am trying to express my thanks.” Thor finally grit out, the air around them suddenly feeling hot and thick. “Why must you always be like this?”

They both stood for a moment then, their breath mingling visibly in the crisp air between them the only sound.

“Then I accept it.” Loki replied, sounding almost bewildered, his expression almost wild in its blankness.

“Then--” Thor swallowed thickly before forcing himself to continue, “Then so be it.”

“So be it.” Loki nodded courteously, just toeing the line of mocking, before turning swiftly on his heel and stalking into the village beyond Thor’s sight.

And Thor watched, his breath catching in his throat as the reality behind the words finally caught up with him.

“So this is goodbye,” he murmured, a sudden wave of dizziness overtaking him, at the thought.

This was goodbye.

---

As soon as he was sure that he was no longer within Thor’s line of sight, Loki allowed himself to slow his gait, leaning heavily against one of the trees on the outskirts of the village and taking a moment to simply breathe.

“What the hell?” he intoned lowly, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it.

What had that been? Where had his brother suddenly located this need to thank him, of all things?

And for what would he even have to thank him for? His efforts to assist had been minimal, at best. And, while he would admit that watching Thor’s satisfaction with the growth of the village had been gratifying in itself, the development really held little interest for Loki.

It wasn’t his village, after all. He hadn’t considered Asgard to be his home for a long, long time.

He was met, then, by the image of Thor jumping unbidden to the forefront of his mind, his smile soft and eye glittering as he watched his people ramble through the streets of their new home.

To Loki, it was the barest sentimentality. Years ago, he might have called it weakness.

And now?

Loki blinked, straightening somewhat as the thought nagged at him again.

And now what? Now he had had a change of heart? Now he was suddenly gripped with the need to do the “right” thing?

No, he considered, not entirely.

But now he might have admitted that he could not stand to consider almost anything Thor did to be weak any longer.

Even at the present moment, as the reality of the situation truly began to set in, Loki was able to admit this to himself.

And now…

Now, Thor expected him to leave. Had almost seemed to request it, the thankful words extended a sort of parting gift, as it were.

Unexpectedly, the thought twisted like a knife in Loki’s midsection, cruel and unrelenting.

If they were to be parted, he considered, the blow would have been decidedly easier to bear had it been with a stern word.

So he was left with this. Thor’s thanks, of all things, feeling oddly more cutting than any of his verbal jabs when they had fought in the past.

And wasn’t that just the crux of this entire issue? Therein lied what Loki believed might be the real reason he could not stay.

Cold words he could handle. A dismissal, he could handle.

But Thor’s warm welcoming? His care and blatant concern and love?

The idea of it terrified Loki. It felt almost wrong, now, as if it should have belonged to someone else.

And maybe it did.

Maybe he had been subconsciously fighting the efforts since their rescue of Asgard.

Because the suspicion he was prepared to deal with. Thor’s cold, calculating looks and gestures; that was familiar.

And maybe some part of Loki had known that, had craved it, even.

(Perhaps thought that it was the best that he deserved).

Well, he thought, huffing a small and hollow laugh that echoed unpleasantly in the surrounding silence. Is this what you wanted?

The thought struck him, empty and unforgiving, that he had no idea of where he would go.

In the past he had always made due. Found himself a crevice to slide into, unnoticed, in almost every realm he had spent time in.

 

And perhaps that had partially been born of desperation; his constant need to run from something.

And now, at last, he realized that he was tired of running. Tired of improvising and beguiling with only his wits to help him and serve as some barren shadow of company.

He was tired, and quite without anywhere to go.

Loki turned swiftly, then, willing the still echoing memory of Thor’s compliments to the back of his mind.

His shoulder still tingled slightly where Thor had laid his heavy hand upon it, and Loki fought the urge to scratch irritably at the skin there until the sensation faded.

He would prepare, he decided, striding back into the village with his carefully composed mask firmly back in place.

After all, what right did he have now to deny his brother anything?

---

“Up to something, Highness?”

Loki winced at the sound of the door swinging open behind him, his hands still on the pack laid out on the sofa at his front.

He could hardly recall a time that so many had snuck up on him so successfully, and the thought filled him with a hot and mingled cocktail of irritation and shame.

“Cleaning,” he replied curtly, not turning to face where the Valkyrie was undoubtedly watching him with a disbelieving expression.

And really, who could blame her? This wasn’t exactly easy to lie away.

Certainly not his best work.

Not that Loki particularly wanted or needed to lie, at present. She might as well have known anyway, as she was going to find out the truth sooner or later.

Sooner, Loki thought, rather than later.

“Ah,” Valkyrie replied, striding across the room to perch on the edge of the sofa, one knee drawn to her chest.

Loki attempted valiantly not to scowl at the new company, and remained with his gaze focused firmly on the items before him, rather than Valkyrie herself.

It wasn’t a very impressive collection, he had to admit. A few sweaters, several pairs of socks, and his Sakaarian daggers, partially hidden beneath a pair of poorly folded trousers.

They hadn’t left Asgard with much, but it hadn’t felt at all lacking until this moment.

“Cleaning.” Valkyrie repeated, drawing Loki from his wandering thoughts as she nodded sagely. “Things not to your liking, then?”

The true question rang clearly behind the words, and Loki felt himself meeting her eyes in mild surprise before his own dropped in something almost like shame.

“Not exactly,” he muttered, though what he truly meant by the words even he was not so certain.

In reply, the Valkyrie hummed again, rather than taking the opportunity to call him on his obvious bullshit.

Uncharacteristic.

“Maybe you can change that.” she offered, at length, wrinkling her nose and glancing away as if the conversation did not affect her either way.

Loki blinked, eyes trained on the wall behind the sofa before he turned to address the Valkyrie directly.

“That’s what I’m doing.” he spoke at last, gesturing vaguely to the pile of items as if that explained everything, and made to continue packing.

“Maybe,” Valkyrie nodded noncommittally, “But maybe cleaning isn’t really what it needs. Things, I mean.”

Loki hesitated at the words, one hand hovering over the pile of sweaters at his elbow.

“And what do you suggest?” he finally snarled, gripping one of the sweaters and tossing it into the bag with a little more force than was probably necessary. “It’s clear that I’m not the--the only party to think that to be the case.”

His brief hesitation was not commented on, and for that he was oddly grateful.

“I dunno,” Valkyrie replied with another casual shrug. “Maybe that’s what you think.”

“I hardly think it could have been made anymore obvious.” Loki growled lowly, a little irritated at her insistence. “Why do you care, anyway? I thought you’d be happy.”

“About the cleaning?” Valkyrie inquired with a quirked brow. “I dunno. I care more about the repercussions, I suppose.” she leaned forward, then, both elbows on her knees as she narrowed her gaze and seemed to study Loki for a long, uncomfortable moment.

And Loki fought not to shift uncomfortably, in the face of the blatant scrutiny.

“You know what I think?” she asked, then.

“Do indulge me.” Loki drawled, rolling his eyes slightly.

“I don’t think it needs cleaning. The place, I mean.” she stood, then, so suddenly that Loki had to resist the urge to take a sudden step back.

“I think it just needs another chance.”

With that, she made to skirt around where Loki was stood and exit entirely.

Only for her to freeze as the front door opened again, some of the casualty bleeding out of her posture as she tensed.

Loki watched, his heart twisting, as Thor let himself into the room, only to pause and survey the two of them for a long, quiet moment.

His eye flickered unsubtly to the bag on the sofa, and Loki felt his stomach churn at the unreadable look that crossed his face at the sight of it.

“Am I interrupting?” Thor spoke at last, sounding almost exhausted.

“Hardly,” The Valkyrie snorted, recovering herself quickly and crossing the room to pat Thor companionably on the shoulder. “Was just leaving, actually.”

She turned, then, to offer Loki a small smile.

It was, he considered, one of the more genuine she had offered him to date.

“See you, Lackey.” she called, before turning to exit out the door Thor had just entered through.

There was a beat as Thor seemed to struggle for something to say, and Loki wanted nothing more than to flee on Valkyrie’s heels.

If only it were that easy.

“I--” he began, when it seemed that Thor was unable to think of anything with which to break the silence. “I only--”

“I find that I’m tired.” Thor interrupted, and nodded with a smile that was so blatantly sorrowful that Loki felt his stomach twist again.

The damn fool, always wearing his heart on his sleeve.

And, before Loki could formulate a response, Thor turned to enter the bedroom to his right, still keeping his gaze carefully averted from the items on the sofa.

“Alright,” Loki finally managed to croak, after the door had been shut firmly behind his brother, leaving him alone in the room.

And, whereas before Loki would have thought the silence a blessing, now it only served to make him feel even more unsure.

From outside the small home came the sound of thunder rumbling unpleasantly, and Loki felt himself swallow involuntarily.

One more night, he decided, almost subconsciously. To wait out the rain and finalize preparations.

Another roll of thunder burst forth from outside, followed closely by rain beginning to splatter against the glass of the window.

Just a moment more.

---

“I find that I’m tired.”

Loki blinked, glancing around himself at the darkness that had befallen them, the tall pine trees casting them in a sort of warped shadow as Thor stalked slowly around the edge of the clearing, Mjölnir gripped tightly in one hand as lightning crackled at his fingertips and behind his one remaining eye.

From where he was stood over 6 feet away, Loki could feel the heat radiating off of his brother’s tense form.

“That much I had gathered,” he forced himself to return, though his heart was hardly behind the words.

Will you not let me be? he thought distantly, exhaustion creeping into his bones. Was it not you who wished for me to go?

“And yet you are still here.”

“I cannot leave until I’ve finished my job here.” Thor returned, a noticeable trace of anger lacing the words. “If you would only stop making it more difficult.”

Loki watched, as if from outside himself, as his brother charged forward, a battle cry leaving his lips as he swung Mjölnir toward Loki’s left shoulder.

Loki watched as he dodged the blow, something like a smirk etching its way onto his face as he danced away from Thor’s fury.

“Is that what you’d consider this?” he called, sweat already beading at his brow as he continued to avoid Thor’s wildly swinging arm. “A job? Just another loose end to tie up?”

“You know damn well the answer to that.” Thor snapped, lunging to strike at Loki’s ribs seconds too late.

“No,” Loki wanted to call, but found that the sentiment lacked conviction.

After all, he didn’t know, did he?

The Other Loki only continued to smile, however, something bordering on manic glee coloring his expression.

“Fool!” he spat, even as Loki willed that he yield, already. “Your sentiment was always going to be your undoing.”

No, Loki thought, watching as this shadow of a figure masquerading as himself jolted away from another blow just before it landed, laughing in the face of Thor’s ire.

“If sentiment had any lingering hold over me,” Thor returned, his shoulders squaring as thunder roared behind him, “Then you might have a hope for survival.”

“Then so be it,” the Shadow Loki growled, and from where Loki himself was stood he saw him reach into the folds of his leathers and pull out a glimmering dagger.

(Too late, always too late).

“No!” he called, only to watch, motionless, as this hollowed out version of himself lunged forward and struck at Thor’s shoulder with the sharp blade, blood spurting out and painting his still-grinning face grotesquely.

“No!” Loki screamed again, as Thor was struck by the dagger again and again and again.

Mercilessly.

All the while this shadow, this other Loki laughed, his white teeth bared as if trying to replicate a smile.

No.

“Enough!” Loki cried, then, blipping across the clearing before he could quite understand that he intended to do so, and found himself stood directly to the Shade’s right, a dagger of his own manifesting into his tightly clenched palm.

He raised his fist then, forcing himself to ignore how Thor had fallen to the ground beside them and charged forward--

Only for the Other Loki to smirk slightly, shaking his head almost pityingly before disappearing in a green-gold gleam of magic.

And Loki faltered, swiping the blade in his hand in nothing but thin air.

An illusion. Only an illusion.

But then…

With a shuddering gasp, Loki turned swiftly on his heel, his knees hitting the mossy ground beside where Thor had fallen.

“No,” he muttered for what felt like the hundredth time, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck as he watched his brother writhe.

Blood, thick and dark, had begun to pool around them, soaking into the fabric at the knees of Loki’s trousers, and he fought the urge to gag at the sensation.

“Loki,” Thor began, coughing and offering a small, sad smile.

Even now…

“No.” Loki repeated, reaching out to (to what? Stem the flow of blood? To heal him?) to press against the wound at Thor’s shoulder, his hands quickly becoming slick with blood. “No, Thor.”

“It’s alright.” Thor’s voice cut in through the panic cloying thickly at Loki’s already scrambled mind, the smile on his face softening, somehow, even as blood streamed from the corner of his quirked lips. “It’s okay, Loki.”

“Pray tell,” Loki responded, noticing distantly how badly his hands were shaking as they continued to press against Thor’s wound. “How is this ‘alright’?”

Thor huffed a small laugh, then, and, before Loki could react, raised a trembling hand--

Only for it to fall onto Loki’s shoulder, heavy and warm, even now.

“Never doubt that I love you.” Thor murmured, that small smile still on his face, in spite of everything.

“Nn--” Loki gagged a bit, bloodied hands scrambling in the slick below to press even firmer, still, against his brother’s shoulder. “It’s--” he paused to gasp, his lungs filling with a thick sap that made the action ever more difficult. “It’s--”

“It’s alright.” Thor repeated, his expression remaining soft for another, blissful second before--

Before is shifted to one of pure terror, trained on something held over Loki’s right shoulder.

And it was only then that Loki realized that one of his own hands, still wet with Thor’s warm blood, was poised in the air, one of his daggers held aloft.

“No,” he whispered, before driving the blade down and slicing Thor’s arm cleanly from the rest of him.

Blood gushed out in rivers, then, coating Loki’s lap and warming the earth beneath the two of them, killing the moss and grass below as if some poisoned thing.

“What--” Loki began, reaching up to scratch at his suddenly burning shoulder--

Only to realize that Thor’s arm, his hand, was still clung there, tightened in the fabric of Loki’s quickly dampening sweater.

The point of contact was still warm, and Loki felt himself gag again at the realization.

From below, Thor’s expression had shifted rapidly to one of bewilderment, his gaze flickering wildly, uncontrolled, between Loki and his arm, disattached and still clung to Loki’s shoulder like a leach.

“Loki?” he whispered, tone so low and childlike that Loki felt something within himself break at the sound of it.

“I’ll--” he gasped, unmoving even as Thor bled out before him, “I’ll--I can make this better--”

“Don’t.” Thor interrupted, his gaze becoming more distant by the second. “Lo--Loki--”

From where the lifeless hand was still clung to his shoulder, Loki could feel a crackle of thunder, of heat and of power, beginning to build.

He closed his eyes, then, accepting whatever fate should befall him and willing himself to ignore Thor’s guttural death rattle from below--

---

“Don’t!” Loki shouted, the sharp word echoing throughout the otherwise dark and empty room as he sat ramrod straight upon the sofa, his breaths leaving him in short, erratic sobs.

Outside, a spectacular bout of thunder boomed, and Loki shrank away from the sound before he could stop himself.

It was time, he realized, already falling off of the sofa and gripping at where he’d stowed his bag behind the makeshift bed.

He had wasted too much time, already. This was a dangerous game, and only becoming more dangerous the more time he wasted.

It was time to go.

---

Don’t!--

Thor sat bolt upright in bed, the covers pooling around his waist as he fought to gain control of his breathing.

A large bolt of thunder rumbled outside the house, and Thor steeled himself, inhaling a sharp breath through his nose and willing himself to calm slightly.

It would do no good to harm any others, in his turmoil.

From outside the bedroom came a solid thump, followed by the sound of scurrying footsteps and, eventually, the front door creaking open and shutting quietly.

Loki letting himself out, then.

Thor exhaled another slow breath.

The sound was not wholly unfamiliar, he reasoned. And yet…

And yet--

His mind wandered to hours earlier, this pack and items spread out on the sofa behind where Loki was stood, squaring his shoulders as if he had any power to hide the truth behind his actions.

Thor stood swiftly, then, reaching out to where he had cast his jacket the evening before and throwing it determinedly over his shoulders.

He was finished watching passively as Loki shrunk further away, he decided. Something had transpired. Something--

Don’t! Loki’s strangled cry reached him, again, and sharp and unrelenting in its desperate need.

No, he decided firmly, striding determinedly for the door and throwing it open to head out into the windy evening.

He was tired of watching passively from the sidelines. If Loki needed him, he would be there.

He hadn’t always fulfilled that role in the past, he considered bitterly, but like hell he would surrender that role now.

Even if it were to be the final time.

---

Outside the house, Loki faltered, his head beginning to clear from the thick sleep that had previously been clinging, and began to wonder why exactly he had thought that fleeing into the crisp 3 a.m. morning might have been a good idea.

The bitter wind whipped around his figure, and he shuddered in spite of himself, hugging the pack in his arms to his chest as if it could stave off the cold.

He had never found issue with cooler temperatures in the past or in his youth, Loki reflected bitterly. It was almost poetic that the chill of the Norweigen morning air might be what undid him, now.

With another shudder, Loki allowed himself a brief moment to regret not having acquired a winter jacket, similar to Thor or Valkyrie’s, during his time in New Asgard, before he forced himself to continue trekking off into the trees just outside the village.

Almost unconsciously, Loki raised a hand to scratch bitterly at his right shoulder, his throat clogging slightly as he realized that the patch of skin there still felt raw and warm, even now.

Another roar of thunder sounded in the distance and, almost as if yearning to complete the perfect picture of a vagabond escaping a village that had cast them out in the dead of the night, thick drops of rain began to fall again, this time around Loki’s hunched figure.

He would have laughed, were it not for the sickness clogging his throat.

He missed it already, Loki realized with a jolt.

He missed--

What? The village?

But no. No, that wasn’t quite right.

He missed--

As if finishing the thought, a call rang out, sharp and startling in the cool morning air;

“Loki!”

Loki froze, his shoulders tensing almost to his ears as the source of the call registered.

And, in spite of himself, Loki scoffed with a small, humorless smile.

Because of course, of course Thor couldn’t let him leave without making things difficult.

“Loki, please.” his brother continued, the sound of him skittering to a halt not 10 feet behind Loki drawing the latter to a halt.

And oh, how he wished he could keep the sarcastic, droll smile on his face, now, rather than the fearful blankness that had fallen upon it at the words.

“Can’t you--” Loki began without turning, taking another shuddering inhale before continuing, “This would be easier if you—if you did not.”

The rain had begun to fall heavily around them, now, causing Loki’s hair to stick miserably to his face as he stood, motionless, awaiting Thor’s answer.

From behind, Thor cleared his throat softly, the sound almost imperceptible beneath that of the rain.

“I--” Thor finally began, his tone low and tremulous and too utterly weak for Loki’s liking, “I cannot watch you leave like this again.”

Loki felt himself blanch as the words truly registered, and he wavered almost uncontrollably in place for a moment before forcing himself to turn and meet Thor’s soft, desperate gaze head on.

And Thor, ever hopeful and ever transparent, stood watching him with an almost fragile, hopeful expression plastered onto his otherwise royal features, his broad shoulders hunched as if in dejection.

It was something that Loki had never wished to see, nor did he wish to see it ever again.

“Not again.” he repeated, softly.

“Thor--” Loki began, cursing the tremble behind his own tone, now.

“No,” Thor interrupted, somehow stern and soft all at once, “No, Loki. If--” he faltered, looking almost lost for a brief glimmer of a moment, before he seemed to steel himself and straightened to continue, “If you wish to leave, now, then I will not stop you.”

“Thor--”

“But I will not allow this--this miscommunication between the two of us to wreak havoc again.” Thor continued, firmly, nodding once, twice. “I--I do not wish to lose you, brother. Even if that means allowing you to leave, I will accept it. I just--” he inhaled a deep, tremulous breath, “I will not allow that to be the end of things.”

The silence between the two of them stretched out, then, the rain falling heavily onto the thick moss and brush below their feet the only sound for a long, long moment.

“I--” Loki faltered, feeling suddenly as if he were being backed into a corner, despite the sheer relief that had begun to weaken his muscles at the knees and elbows.

“I almost killed you.” he finally sputtered, knowing that the words for almost nonsensical, but unable to keep them from spilling forth between them, the feel of Thor’s blood, warm and slick, still heavy on his mind. “Many times. Thor, I--”

“And I cannot say that I have acted any differently to you, brother.” Thor reasoned, taking another hesitant, careful step closer to where Loki was still stood, frozen in place.

“You know that you can come to me with anything.”

And, despite the words, Loki found himself taking another, jerking step backward, ignoring the flash of hurt that crossed Thor’s face at the movement.

“Isn’t this--” he began, forcing another inhale past whatever was clogging at the back of his throat, now. “I thought--”

“Loki,” Thor interrupted, smoothly, the confidence beginning to work itself back into his features as he took another one, two steps closer to where Loki had still yet to flee.

Not yet, anyway. Not yet…

(Just another moment longer…)

“Loki,” Thor murmured, his expression almost terrifyingly sorrowful as he extended a hand to place it tenderly on Loki’s now trembling shoulder.

He wanted, Loki registered almost too distantly to recognize, he wanted so badly to run.

And yet, there was Thor’s soft and heavy and warm hand, gripping at his shoulder and massaging at the muscle there softly.

It was too much to ignore.

Loki inhaled, preparing himself to answer, only for his breath to catch on a harsh, ugly sob.

Sentiment.

“Loki,” Thor crooned, his hand tightening where it was gripped on Loki’s shoulder, his face softening into something almost terrifyingly tender.

“Brother.”

And Loki would have jerked back at that, really, his heart already pulsating thickly and tremulously in the face of the words--

If only he had the power to fight them.

Instead, he found himself falling weakly and helplessly forward, sucking in a sharp and painful inhale before it left him in an almost desperate wail.

And, true to form, in spite of everything, Thor caught him, immediately drawing Loki’s limp form closer to himself and tucking his head tenderly into the side of his neck.

“Loki,” he murmured, moving to press a soft kiss to the side of Loki’s sweat-beaded brow, “Loki, Loki, Loki, Loki…”

“I’m sorry.” Loki gasped, fighting the sudden, strong urge to wriggle out of the hold and distance himself, even now. “I’m so--”

“Don’t.” Thor interrupted, making a small shushing noise as he tugged Loki’s pliant form closer, the both of them wet and shuddering in the continually pouring rain. “I don’t care.”

And, despite everything, Loki found it within himself to smirk slightly at the words.

“You should.” he admitted, though he could hardly determine why he had shared the words at all. “Thor--”

“I do not care.” Thor repeated, his breath hot and heavy on the side of Loki’s neck. “Loki. Loki--” he paused, his grip tightening as he shook Loki ever so slightly.

“Just-- Just…stay. Please.”

The words hung on the air between the two of them, then, heavy with the implications behind them.

“You--” Loki spoke before he realized that he was quite ready to do so, shaking his head slightly in bewilderment, though not willing to move it from where it was rested on Thor’s sturdy shoulder, even now. “You wish me to stay?”

The words came out far softer than he had hoped, small and croaked and utterly defeated.

But it seemed that they were enough for Thor.

Thor paused, and from the corner of Loki’s eye he could just make out how his brother’s expression crumpled at the words.

“Loki,” he finally spoke, moving to push Loki away from where he was collapsed against Thor’s shoulder--

And Loki only just barely managed to hold back a noise of disapproval as he did so.

They stood for a long moment, then, rain plastering their hair to their faces as they studied each other in the pale morning light.

“I had never wished otherwise.” Thor finally admitted, tone held low and comforting, in contrast to the war of emotions flickering across his face.

And Loki--

Loki faltered.

He searched desperately for a sarcastic response, or possibly for a counter argument as to why Thor shouldn’t have, even now--

And even now--

Loki felt his knees give out before he had fully recognized what was happening, his limp form all but collapsing against Thor, who was there, ready to catch him again and cradle him close with a series of hushed, comforting murmurs at ready.

Even now…

“I don’t wish to leave.” the words burst forth from Loki quite before he could catch them, raw and desperate and utterly without deceit.

“I know.” Thor only whispered, drawing Loki closer to himself and placing another soft and tender kiss to his temple.

“And--” Loki gulped a desperate, needy inhale. “And I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Loki choked slightly, then, struggling to find any words, and yet feeling as if he should offer something--

“Let’s go back.” Thor spoke softly, then, the words more comforting now than Loki would ever admit.

And, before he was able to realize exactly what was happening, Thor was dragging Loki to his feet, one arm wound tightly around his waist as he led them back to Thor’s house, not quite so far away as Loki would have determined.

And though the walk was short, Loki found himself wearily leaning against his brother’s side up until Thor had led them into the quiet of the house (Thor’s house. Their house.) and steered Loki to gently seat him on the edge of the bed.

Thor was halfway through stripping Loki of his sopping sweater, movements soft and calculated, before a sound bit of reason returned to Loki, and he raised a hand to halt his brother in his movements.

“I--” he coughed once, twice, the sound painful and ugly in the silence of the room, before he continued, determinedly, “I think that we should--should talk.”

Thor’s face creased in a bit of a frown, then, and he took his time depositing Loki’s rain-soaked sweater onto the floor beside the bed with practiced care before he let out a soft, shuddering sigh.

“I know.” Thor finally replied, turning to face Loki with an almost painfully fragile expression. “Soon?”

And, even now, Loki found himself hard pressed to deny his brother anything.

Even now.

“You’re cold.” Thor observed, and Loki only noticed then how he was shuddering, even in the comfortable warmth of the house.

“It’ll pass.” he murmured, offering a somewhat weak smile in the face of Thor’s persistent concern.

And, as if they had truly moved past the point of believing each other’s flippant dismissals, Thor moved forward to draw Loki into another hesitant embrace, his expression shuttered into one of stony determination.

And, in spite of everything, Loki found himself shifting forward, curling closer so that his head was rested more comfortably against Thor’s shoulder, and drew his legs up so that they were slotted more comfortably against his brother’s.

“Thor--” he began, a sudden wave of emotions beginning to clog the back of his throat as his brother moved to tighten his hold.

“Rest, brother.” Thor murmured, at length, moving so that the both of them were laid comfortably along the mattress below, Loki drawn to Thor’s chest, even still.

And, even still, Loki panted for breath, his exhales ghosting rapid and warm against Thor’s collarbones.

“It’s alright.” Thor cooed, raising a hand to rub at the back of Loki’s head, his fingers running gently through the thick, dark curls there.

“I love you, brother.” Thor murmured, and Loki felt his heart stutter at the words.

How long had he yearned to hear them, again,

and yet he found himself momentarily without reply, his mouth opening and closing desperately as he wracked his brain for words that might even come close to appropriate.

“Shhh…” Thor shushed, drawing Loki closer and placing a final kiss on his brow.

Loki shuddered again, simultaneously hating and revelling in how eagerly he drew closer to Thor’s warmth.

“It’ll be alright.” Thor murmured.

Outside the house, rain continued to pour, the sound of it soft and almost soothing on the windowpane above the bed.

Beside Loki, Thor’s breaths began to even out, the sound more comforting than he would like to admit.

At his shoulder, Thor’s hand tightened, even in sleep.

And, rather than be alarmed at the movement, Loki found himself shuffling closer and squeezing his eyes shut as he burrowed his face into Thor’s shoulder.

Outside, the wind continued to howl, the rain continuing to splatter softly against the window.

But the thunder had stopped, and Loki considered this comforting fact only briefly before he, too, dropped off into sleep, his head resting heavily on his brother’s shoulder as they both breathed easily.

For the time being, they both breathed easily.

Notes:

i just like thinking about Val and Loki in big comfy and chunky sweaters.

(feel free to follow me at my MCU tumblr here or my chaotic og blog, or alternatively my twitter. as always, i'm taking writing requests at either tumblr xx

love u all

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of New Asgard AU