tell me something i don't know

by carpisuns (marimbles)

Summary:

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and they can only be together if they vow never to touch.

Notes:

• Translation into Español available: Tell me something I don't know (Español) by orphan_account

This AU takes place a little in the future from present canon, so Marinette and Adrien are 17 and have been superheroes for a few years. Everything that has happened in canon has happened in this universe except for Miracle Queen, so Master Fu is still the Guardian and the hero squad’s identities have not been exposed.

This fic will alternate between chat chapters and normal prose chapters. The prose chapters will always be set in the “present” of the fic, whereas the chat chapters will always be from past conversations. The note at the top will say how far in the past it was.

Thanks to my sister mozzys_studio for encouraging me to do this since i am lazy and weak and never commit to multichaps lol

Chapter 1: negative one billion

Summary:

Do you think it means something? To love someone, if the universe said you had to?

3 months ago

00:46

marinettedesigned

u up?

notchatnoir

thinking of me? 😘

marinettedesigned

-_-

notchatnoir

what’s on your mind, princess

marinettedesigned

ok first you have to promise you won’t make fun of me

notchatnoir

that’s not fair. u can’t make me promise that ahead of time

marinettedesigned

fine then good night

notchatnoir

ok ok!! I PAWmise

marinettedesigned

ok

i’ve been thinking about...soulmates

notchatnoir:

...

oh?

:)

:))

:)))

marinettedesigned

NOT YOU

just like, in general

notchatnoir

ok, what about them

marinettedesigned

nvm, it’s stupid

notchatnoir

aw, come on

I didn’t even get the chance to not make fun of you

marinettedesigned

well it’s not like i’ll even have one so there’s no point talking about it

notchatnoir

you might tho

marinettedesigned

my friend max says the statistical probability of having a soulmate is like negative one billion

notchatnoir

that doesn’t even make sense

that’s just. not how statistics work. lol

marinettedesigned

whatever!! the point is, im not going to have a soulmate. end of story.

so no need to catastrophize about it

notchatnoir

HA

CATastrophize

marinettedesigned

that was unintentional

notchatnoir

sure, sure

but why would you even be worried about it? it’s a good thing ?

marinettedesigned

is it? it just doesn’t seem right

notchatnoir

wym

America explain

marinettedesigned

idk, the idea that the universe is the one that picks who you love

instead of you picking for yourself

notchatnoir

i don’t see it that way

marinettedesigned

ok well how do you see it then

notchatnoir

i think a soulmate connection is different from love

marinettedesigned

??

notchatnoir

i mean, you can love someone who isn’t your soulmate, right? most people do, since soulmates are so rare anyway

so the soulmate bond has to be something different from love

marinettedesigned

i guess?

but i mean you still don’t pick your soulmate

you just click and you don’t get a say in who it is

doesn’t that seem weird? Or wrong?

notchatnoir

not really

marinettedesigned

not even a little??

ii mean, if i had a soulmate who could feel my emtions just by touching me then i’d want it to be someone *i* picked, wouldn’t you??

i don’t think i could ever handle a connection like that with a total stranger

UGH just thinking about it stresses me out

notchatnoir

well, it woulndt necessarily be a stranger

as far as i understand, it’s just a random moment. it doesn’t have to be the first time you touch or anything

so it could be someone you know

marinettedesigned

ok regardless

it still would be someone you didn’t pick

imagine if you clicked with someone terrible!! like chloe. Or LILA. gross

notchatnoir

ha. don’t worry, that’s not gonna happen

marinettedesigned

you don’t know that

there’s still at least a negative one billion chance

notchatnoir

no way. the universe isn’t that cruel

marinettedesigned

it’s cruel enough to make you break my lucky hair tie

notchatnoir

oml I SAID I WAS SORRY

can’t you forgive me??

i’ll get you a new one

marinettedesigned

never

the lucky hair tie is not replaceable

thenperish.png

notchatnoir

Ugh, you act like that hair tie was your soulmate

marinettedesigned

maybe it was

and that’s why i feel so empty inside now that it’s gone

sad_cowboy.jpg

notchatnoir

marinette please

marinettedesigned changed the channel name: boulevard of broken hair ties

notchatnoir

really

marinettedesigned

I walk a lonely road

the only one that i have ever known

🤧

notchatnoir

come on, stop deflecting

i know something is still bothering you

(OTHER than the lucky hair tie, i mean)

marinettedesigned

ugh. fine

idk

You know how i am

I overthink things

I guess the idea of having a soulmate just freaks me out

notchatnoir

I get how it might be scary

To share everything with someone without really having any privacy

marinettedesigned

Maybe that’s it? Im not sure what exactly it is about it but...

I don’t think want it

A soulmate, i mean

notchatnoir

I do

Honestly, not havign secrets sounds so nice

I hate having to keep things from people i care about

marinettedesigned

Im sorry, chat

That must be hard

notchatnoir

yeah :/

but it’s ok. comes with the mask

marinettedesigned

I definitely understnad why that would appeal to you but tbh I still don’t get it

notchatnoir

Don’t get what

marinettedesigned

how you have so much faith in the soulmates thing

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

or, not love, but...whatever you want to call it, i guess

notchatnoir

I think it still means something

im not sure we ever really choose who we fall in love with, soulmates or not

but we choose how to love them. and that’s the same, right?

marinettedesigned

I guess

notchatnoir

Well, have you ever been in love before?

marinettedesigned

…..yeah

notchatnoir

so did you choose to fall in love?

marinettedesigned

i guess not

it just sort of...happened

notchatnoir

Same

marinettedesigned

when you fell in love with ladybug?

notchatnoir

Yeah

I didn’t choose to fall for her, but i did choose to love her

Does that make sense?

marinettedesigned

Sort of

notchatnoir

what i mean is that i chose to keep loving her. to keep hoping. and keep trying.

marinettedesigned

right...

sorry, am i being too nosy?? you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to

notchatnoir

nah

I mean, i’ve never exactly been subtle about it lol

besides, i don’t mind talking about stuff like that with you

it’s like one of the few personal things i can talk about without compromising my identity

marinettedesigned

right

so,,,

are you still in love with her?

(you don’t have to answer)

notchatnoir

honestly, i think i’ll always love ladybug

but it’s not the same as it used to be. she made it clear she didn’t feel the same way, and i guess eventually i learned to give her the space she wanted

and that made us grow closer in a different way. but it also changed a lot

marinettedesigned

oh.

how so?

notchatnoir

well, like i said, you choose how to love, right? so i guess i chose to love her a different way

like, more at a distance. still there, still steady, but not as painful? because i wasn’t wishing for something i knew i couldn’t have

i moved on, i guess. Not from loving her, but from loving her that way

I just kind of learned to be satisfied with what i did have. And be happy with her friendship

did any of that make sense haha

marinettedesigned

actually, yeah

I understand exactly what you mean

notchatnoir

dont get me wrong- i’d be thrilled if ladybug turned out to be my soulmate

but if im being honest

if i had a choice

there’s someone else i’d choose

marinettedesigned

really?

who??

notchatnoir

can’t tell you

marinettedesigned

yeah,,,

I know.

notchatnoir

sorry, i feel like this didn’t help you at all

marinettedesigned

no, it did. I think.

but it’s all irrelevant anyway

neither us is going to have a soulmate

notchatnoir

right

negative one billion chance lol

but you know, if it makes you feel better, you don’t have to have a soulmate

marinettedesigned

what do you mean

notchatnoir

well the click only happens with skin to skin contact, right? so u just have to make sure u never touch anyone ever. lol

marinettedesigned

ha. thanks

helpful advice

notchatnoir

and even if you do click with someone you still don’t have to be with them

i’ve heard that if you don’t nurture the connection then it weakens

so you could starve it on purpose. just let it die

marinettedesigned

that sounds mean :(

notchatnoir

well, the point is that you always have a choice

the universe cant make you love someone if you dont want to love them

marinettedesigned

right

notchatnoir

I guess that’s the real reason i have faith in the soulmates thing

I know how i’ve chosen to love, and i trust that if something is meant to be, it’s because i chose a certain path, not because that path chose me

marinettedesigned

that makes like 12% sense i guess

but you know it sounds really cheesy, right

notchatnoir

obviously

have you met me

marinettedesigned

Unfortunately :/

well, i hope you and mr. banana are very happy together, then <3

notchatnoir

hahahaha

we’ll both be wearing an MDC original down the aisle ✌️

marinettedesigned

sorry, i dont make costumes for furries

or fruities

notchatnoir

:( cant believe you’re gonna make me look like garbage at my wedding wearing some crusty gabriel design. smh

marinettedesigned

hey! gabriel is good

notchatnoir

press x to doubt

he’s ok ig

but he’s got nothing on rising fashion star marinette dupain cheng

marinettedesigned

💜

well maybe i’ll make an exception

since you are such a master of the art of flattery

but it’ll cost extra

notchatnoir

no friends and family discount?

or like a heroes discount?

marinettedesigned

nope

im running a business, not a charity

notchatnoir

well then it’s a good thing i’m loaded

marinettedesigned

pffffft. sure

notchatnoir

how do you know im not

maybe i’m as rich as your friend adrien

marinettedesigned

Lol okay. He has a climbing wall in his ROOM

notchatnoir

sounds lame

marinettedesigned

and a zipline

and a fullsize basketball hoop

notchatnoir

yeah and??

is that supposed 2 impress me

it doesn’t sound nearly as cool as your room

marinettedesigned

my room is like 1/100 the size of adrien’s lol

notchatnoir

so? it’s cozy. and it has twinkle lights

i like them they remind me of little fairies

marinettedesigned

you’re such a dork

notchatnoir

i believe the word you’re looking for is “super sauve super charming super LOADED super hero”

marinettedesigned

so suave that you cant even spell suave huh

crap how is it almost 2

we have school tomorrow. ugh

sorry i kept you up

notchatnoir

no worries. cats are primarily nocturnal

marinettedesigned

unfurtunately so are marinettes

which is very bad when they have to get up early for school every day

notchatnoir

wait

was that a typo or did you make a cat pun

marinettedesigned

i don’t know what you’re talking about 😽

okay goodnight <3 thanks for talking with me

I feel a lot better

notchatnoir

glad to hear it

marinettedesigned

and for the record

if you did have a soulmate

(hypothetically)

they’d be really lucky to have you

notchatnoir

thanks

your hypotehtical soulmate is also very lucky

marinettedesigned

💕

alright, see you friday

notchatnoir

hang on

are there going to be pastries

I refuse to come if there’s no pastries

marinettedesigned

oh no

we’re all out of pastries, sorry :(

notchatnoir

u live in a bakery

marinettedesigned

yeah, a really good one

we’re all sold out

notchatnoir

so it’s more like a fake-ery, huh

marinettedesigned

2/10 for effort

-1 billion/10 for terribleness

notchatnoir

rude

marinettedesigned

<3

notchatnoir

ok but are there really not gonna be treats

marinettedesigned

chat, when have i ever not fed u

ofc there will be treats

notchatnoir

yay

marinettedesigned

altho i am offended that you don’t think my presence is a treat enough

notchatnoir

Of course it is

besides, i bring a snack every time i come

myself 😌

marinettedesigned

ight_imma_head_out_spongebob.jpg

good night for real this time

notchatnoir

sweet dreams, princess ❤️

Notes:

ty for stopping by to give this fic a shot! <33 if you choose to read on, please be aware that there is a fair bit of angst ahead D: i do try to mix in as much fluff/humor as i can throughout, though! I just felt like i needed to include a little warning bc i feel bad when people comment on this chapter and then are not prepared for the next one sdlkdjafljk

Chapter 2: click

Summary:

Summary: His eyes closed at her touch, and he leaned into her palm.
“It’s you,” he whispered. “It’s really you.”

It happened like lightning.

A blinding flash of truth—sharp, vivid, bright. A revelation. Undeniable.

Her fingers were still on Chat Noir’s lips, tingling where their skin met. Everything around her went muted and fuzzy, like she was underwater. She felt an irresistible pull in her chest, like a magnet, like gravity, growing tighter and stronger until ...

Click.

Something inside snapped into place, and the world came back in a rush of sound and color.

She gasped and stumbled back, knocking the plate of pastries to the floor.

Chat choked on the macaron she’d shoved into his mouth and fell into a coughing fit.

“Did—did you feel that?” he spluttered.

Marinette nodded slowly.

“Was that …?”

There was only one way to be sure.

She stepped closer, raising her hand. Her fingers trembled near his skin. He stood impossibly still, as if he were afraid that even breathing would make the possibility shatter.

She took a breath and cupped his cheek.

Emotions flooded through her. Shock. Confusion. Disbelief. Although she felt the same, she knew they weren’t hers.

But they didn’t feel wrong or out of place. They felt familiar. They felt like him.

Chat let out a soft gasp. The narrow slits of his pupils widened until they were completely full and round. As the sting of the initial shock faded, something clear and bright grew deep inside her—a nest of warm light swelling in the pit of her stomach.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.

The final test. The strongest bond. As sure as she already was, she couldn’t stop a flash of panic from running through her.

She drew her hand back to her chest, breaking the contact, but she could tell by the look on Chat’s face that she hadn’t been quick enough. He stepped back, and she let her hand fall to her side, fingers cold and tingling.

“You’re scared,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

She couldn’t feel him anymore, but she knew him well enough to know that he was hurt. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but the words weren’t there.

He mustered a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I get it. I already know how you feel about soulmates.”

Soulmates.

Somehow it felt so strange to hear it out loud, even after she had felt it for herself. The sudden quiet in her head was proof that he had been there. She felt kind of cold and empty, like he’d been sitting pressed against her soul and then vanished, leaving her alone to miss his warmth.

“I—I’m sorry, Chat,” she said finally. “It’s just all so sudden.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I can … I’ll give you some space, okay?”

He moved toward the stairs, but before he’d made it to the first step, her hand had caught his wrist.

“Wait!”

He turned, and she found herself pushing her body against his, rising on her toes to meet his lips.

If the click was like lightning, then this was like the sun. Not a flash, but a steady light. It wasn’t a brilliant revelation. It was a simple fact she’d been carrying around in her back pocket, only now remembering it had been there all her life.

Chat’s warmth—inside and outside—wrapped her up like a thick blanket as his arms tightened around her. The little nest of light in her stomach stirred awake again, growing brighter and bigger until it filled her entire body.

She could’ve basked in the sunshine of his kiss forever, but a gentle pull brought her back to the soft pinkish glow of her bedroom.

Chat was silent, staring at her with wide eyes. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing slow and heavy. She brought her hand back to his cheek so she could feel what was written on his face.

Awe. Peace. Joy.

His eyes closed at her touch, and he leaned into her palm.

“It’s you,” he whispered. “It’s really you.”

“Soulmates,” she dared to say.

His eyes snapped open. “Only if you want it. I told you before. You get to choose. I don’t care what the universe says. I only care what you say. Okay?”

His gaze was searching, earnest, and with her fingers still pressed against the soft skin of his cheek, she could feel his sincerity.

She took a steadying breath. “Honestly, if it were anyone else, I’d be terrified. But it’s not anyone else. It’s you.”

“And that’s … okay?”

She smiled. “It’s more than okay. It’s … kind of perfect.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to say that. I know you never wanted this.”

“I didn’t before. But now … well, everything is different, isn’t it?”

He drew backward a few steps, breaking the skin contact. “It doesn’t have to be different. Not if you don’t want it. I—I can love you from here, like I always have.”

Marinette froze, letting the words sink into her brain. “Love me?”

His smile was warm and sad at the same time. “Of course. I’ve loved you for a long time. I thought you knew.”

“I—” She bit her lip. “What about the other one?”

He paused. “Ladybug?”

“No. You told me, months ago … you said there was someone else you would choose, if you could.” She tried to ignore the sinking in her stomach. “Are you disappointed it was me instead?”

Chat looked surprised, and then he laughed. “And I thought I was being too obvious.”

“What?”

“I was talking about you.”

Her mouth fell open. “Really?”

“Really.” He stepped closer, taking her hand in his. “I had a negative one billion chance, but I was hoping.”

His eyes were impossibly green. Impossibly soft. Her pulse fluttered in her fingertips against the cool material of his gloves.

“I love you, Marinette,” he whispered. “Not because I have to. Because I want to. Because I want you. If I’d had a choice … I would’ve picked this.”

He’d looked at her this way before a thousand times when she was Ladybug. How had it never made her feel like this? Like her veins were living vines sprouting blossoms under her skin?

But maybe it had. Maybe with all the secrets she’d had to keep over the years, she’d gotten too good at lying, even to herself. Because she knew, if she was honest, that Chat Noir had always had a hold on her. And now, with her soul in full flower, she couldn’t keep lying even if she wanted to.

“Chat,” she breathed, “I love you too.”

He froze. “You do?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to say that just because—”

She pressed her fingers to his lips so he could feel the roses blooming in her soul.

“I’m not just saying it,” she said. “I love you, stupid.”

He smiled against her fingers. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He grabbed her hand and gently kissed her fingertips, her palm, the inside of her wrist. Her skin came alive with sparklers wherever he touched it. Instinctually she leaned forward and he was there to meet her, catching her lips with his.

If this is how it felt to have a soulmate, she couldn’t remember why she’d been so nervous before. But of course, he wasn’t just a soulmate. He was her partner, her best friend, her confidant. Whenever she needed him most he was already there, wearing a smile made just for her. He had loved her in exactly the way she needed, and without even knowing it, she’d loved him right back.

In the moment, with her fingers twisting in his hair and her heartbeats tangled up with his, she could hardly tell whose emotions were whose. But it didn’t matter anyway. This love crashing against her ribcage—it was all hers, and his, and theirs.

When they finally broke apart, Chat kissed her once more—on the forehead this time. “I know you didn’t want this, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”

“Silly kitty.” She tapped the tip of his nose. “You already do.”

He grinned. “And now I can finally show you.”

“Show me what?”

His eyes slipped closed. “Claws—”

“NO!”

She clapped her hand over his mouth, feeling his surprise crackle through her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice muffled under her fingers.

She lowered her hand. “You can’t tell me who you are.”

“Of course I can. We’re soulmates.”

Marinette disentangled herself from his arms. “But isn’t there a rule? You’ll lose your miraculous if you tell me.”

Chat frowned. “I don’t think that rule applies to soulmates.”

“Are you sure?” Her mind was racing. Would it really be okay? Here? Now?

“I don’t see how it could,” Chat said. “You can’t hide much from your soulmate, can you?”

This could be it. The end of all their secrets. No more lying, no more hiding, no more wishing. Every truth laid in the light. Nothing keeping them apart again.

They could go out like normal people—taking walks along the Seine, sharing whispers under the trees in the park.

When he came, he could call off his transformation and she could hug him tight and smell his scent without the suit. Look into his eyes—his real eyes. Hold his hands without the gloves.

When they went on patrol she wouldn’t have to be Ladybug, hero of Paris. She could just be Marinette. And he would just be … him, whoever he was.

But she couldn’t think about that now. She had to talk to Master Fu first.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “You need to talk to Ladybug. Make sure it’s okay for me to know.”

Chat sighed. “Okay. I’ll ask her at patrol tomorrow. Then she’ll probably have to talk to the Guardian about it.”

“I do want to know,” Marinette said softly. “More than anything.”

“I know.” He twisted a lock of her loose hair between his fingers. “Soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’s getting late. I should go.” He brought her hand to his lips, sending a rush of warmth through her. “Good night, princess.”

He was halfway through the window when she stopped him once again.

“Chat?”

He looked down over his shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re the negative one billion.”

He smiled. “Me too.”

 

---

 

Marinette stared up through her skylight at the shadowy underside of her pink canopy. A narrow strip of sky was barely visible, with just a few stars peeking out beyond the edge.

She rolled onto her side and tapped her phone. 23:57.

“Tikki,” she whispered, “do you think Master Fu is awake right now?”

“No,” Tikki mumbled sleepily. “And you shouldn’t be either.”

Marinette let out a little huff. “You’re right. He’s like 200 years old. He probably goes to bed at 17h.”

Tikki opened one bleary eye. “I know you’re excited, Marinette, but this will just have to wait until tomorrow.”

“But it won’t be tomorrow! I have a meeting after school, so I won’t have time to visit him before patrol. And if he really does go to bed that early, then I can’t go after patrol either. Which means I’ll have to wait till the next day. Except what if he’s not available because a long-lost relative has unexpectedly stopped by? Or what if there’s an akuma attack and we’re all turned into slugs? Or what if—”

“Marinette! Relax. I’m sure none of that is going to happen.”

“You don’t know that. Unlikely things have happened before. For example, Chat Noir being my soulmate.” Marinette propped her head up on her elbow. “Can we go visit him tonight? Right now?”

“No way! It’s late. Master Fu is asleep, and you should be asleep too. You have school tomorrow.”

Marinette swallowed. “I just ... don’t want to wait any longer. I’m so close to knowing, Tikki. I’m so close to knowing who he is.”

Tikki sighed. “Okay.”

“Wait—okay? As in, we can go?”

Tikki yawned, stretching her tiny limbs. “I know how important this is to you. I’m sure Master Fu will forgive you for waking him up, just this once.”

“Thank you!” Marinette scooped Tikki out of the air, snuggling her against her cheek. “You’re the best kwami any Ladybug could ask for.”

“I’m the only kwami any Ladybug could ask for.”

“Right.” Marinette grinned and sat all the way up. “Tikki, spots on!”

 

---

 

The house was dark and silent. Marinette rapped loudly on the door.

“Master Fu! Master, wake up!”

No reply. Impatiently, she knocked again. Inside the house, a light flipped on.

Finally the door creaked open, and Master Fu appeared in a Hawaiian-print pajama set. “Marinette? What are you doing here this late at night? Is something wrong?”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “No, Master. I’m sorry for waking you. But I have something important to tell you.”

“Come in.” He opened the door wider and beckoned her inside. “Shall I make us some tea?”

“No, that’s okay.”

She followed him into the main room and sat cross-legged on the matt. “Hi, Wayzz.”

Wayzz bowed. “Good evening.”

Master Fu groaned as he lowered himself to the floor in front of her. “Now, what is this important thing you have to tell me?”

Marinette took a deep breath. “I have a soulmate.”

Fu’s eyes widened. “This is surprising, indeed. Soulmates are very rare.”

“I know, Master. And that’s why I was hoping that …” She bit her lip. “That you’d make an exception to the rule about revealing our identities.”

Master Fu shared a glance with Wayzz and then sighed. “I am sorry, Marinette, but I cannot allow that.”

“Please, Master. I promise not to tell anyone else—just him.”

But Master Fu was already shaking his head. “I’m afraid that even for soulmates, it is too dangerous for anyone to know Ladybug’s true identity.”

“But you don’t understand! My soulmate is Ch—”

Master Fu raised a hand, cutting her off. “There can be no exceptions.”

“If you would just let me explain—”

“No amount of explanation could change my mind. This rule must not be broken.”

“Master, listen, if you knew who he was, you would agree that—”

“Ladybug!”

She startled at the the harshness of his voice. For a handful of seconds, he held her with her stare. Then his expression softened.

“I am sorry. Truly. I would not place this burden upon you if it were not necessary.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “But why?”

He leaned forward. “The soulmate bond is a force of incredible power. But that same power makes you vulnerable. If Hawkmoth were to discover the identity of your soulmate, he could manipulate you in ways you cannot imagine. For your soulmate’s safety and for yours—for the safety of Paris itself—I must ask that you tell no one his identity, not even me. In fact, it would be best if you kept the very existence of a soulmate hidden.”

Her heart sank. More secrets. More lies.

“And Marinette, I must caution you,” Fu went on. “As I have mentioned, the bond of soulmates is very powerful. I am sure you have felt that already. But what you have thus far experienced is merely a fraction of its potential.”

“What do you mean?”

“As it is nurtured, the bond grows stronger. Although it always begins as an empathic connection possible only through skin contact, it may develop beyond those limitations. In rare instances, a soulmate bond may grow so strong that the partners can feel each others’ emotions even without physical touch. Some may even learn to read each other’s thoughts.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “I’ve never heard that. Is it really possible?”

“It’s quite rare, but yes.”

“So that means …”

“The stronger your bond grows, the greater the danger that you will inadvertently reveal your double identity. Rare as it is, we cannot ignore the possible development of a telepathic connection. At that point, it would be impossible for your identity to remain a secret.”

Fu’s voice was slow and heavy—a stone dragging her down, down, down. From the bottom of her hole she looked up into unsmiling eyes.

“In order to protect your identity and continue your role as Ladybug, you must not allow your soulmate bond to grow to that extent,” Fu said. “Do you understand what I am saying, Marinette?”

No. No. No.

“I can’t … see him anymore?” she choked. “That’s impossible; he—”

“I didn’t say that. If you must see this boy, so be it. But you cannot touch his skin. That would serve only to nurture your connection.”

Dread sank into Marinette’s blood like slow poison. “But … without skin contact, the bond will weaken. It’ll die.”

Beneath the shadow of his brows, Fu’s eyes looked almost sorrowful. “Ladybug, the sacrifices we must make as wielders of the miraculous are never easy. But your most important duty is to this city. By protecting your identity, you protect Paris, and you protect the one you love. However you feel for this boy, you must find within yourself the strength to keep the necessary distance. This is the only way.”

She tried to speak, but the ice in her veins made her tongue feel frozen in her mouth. She sprang to her feet, and without even mustering a word of goodbye, she ran to the door.

Outside, under the cold light of the streetlamps, she felt herself unraveling, thread by thread. Why did it matter whether Hawkmoth knew her identity or not when he could just follow the trail of desperate heartbeats she was scattering behind her?

“Marinette—” Tikki began, but she cut her off with a broken whisper.

“Spots on.”

When the pink light had faded, she snatched her yo-yo from her hip and flung it high, lifting herself to the rooftops. The thudding in her eardrums drowned out the sound of nighttime traffic and her own pounding footsteps. She willed herself to focus on the rhythm, to hold herself together for just a little longer.

By the time she reached her balcony, the tears had already begun to fall. She slipped through the skylight and collapsed onto her bed in her suit, with the ghost of a soulmate’s kiss still on her lips.

“I love you, Chat Noir,” she whispered. Then she curled under her blankets and let the rest of her threads unspool.

Notes:

i did a little drawing of the click scene here

Chapter 3: bf(bestfriend)

Summary:

notchatnoir

am i your best friend

marinettedesigned

what are you, 12

notchatnoir

answer the question, dupain-cheng

Notes:

art by my amazing sister at the end! <3

18 months ago

20:38

notchatnoir

question

do u think ppl can people have more than one best friend

Liek is that allowed

marinettedesigned

no

if you have more than one then the Best Friend Committee™️ will ban you from having any friends at all

notchatnoir

marinette:(

marinettedesigned

sorry, i dont make the rules

notchatnoir

Im actually asking tho

is it weird??

marinettedesigned

I dont think so

I have more than one best frined

notchatnoir

I have 4

marinettedesigned

wow. mr popular

notchatnoir

my kwami

my lady

my princess 👑❤️

marinettedesigned

aw 💕

but thats only 3?

notchatnoir

i cant tell u the last one

identity

marinettedesigned

oh. right

notchatnoir

so...

am i your bf too

marinettedesigned

NO

U R NOT MY BF

notchatnoir

bestfriend:)

marinettedesigned

that’s not what bf means!!

notchatnoir

Sure it does :)

marinettedesigned

STOP

notchatnoir

fine

but am i your best friend

marinettedesigned

what are you, 12

notchatnoir

answer the question, dupain-cheng

marinettedesigned

i consider you..an acquaintance

notchatnoir

do u let all your acquaintances stay over till 04h playing ums

marinettedesigned

ofc

notchatnoir

and eating macrons that you made special for them

marinettedesigned

yep

notchatnoir

and cuddling 😳

marinettedesigned

…………….yes

notchatnoir

and here i thought i was special 😔

marinettedesigned

u don’t need anyone telling u you’re special

ur head is big enough as it is

notchatnoir

it has to be

to fit my big beefy brains

im intellectually swole 💪

marinettedesigned

ok now you’ve been demoted from acquaintance to estranged acquaintance

notchatnoir

🥺

marinettedesigned

your kitty eyes dont work on me

notchatnoir

yes they do 🥺🥺

marinettedesigned

no they dont

notchatnoir

Marineeeeeeette 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

marinettedesigned

UGH fine

you’re my best friend too

notchatnoir

😌

marinettedesigned

i thought it was obvious

notchatnoir

it was

i just wanted to hear you say it

notchatnoir pinned a message to this channel

marinettedesigned

chat noir is an anime nerd

pin that, loser

notchatnoir pinned a message to this channel

marinettedesigned

sksjskksk

notchatnoir

watch me naruto run to your house 🏃🏽

marinettedesigned

lmao

notchatnoir

see you in 10

marinettedesigned

wait fr??

not right now

notchatnoir

you cant turn me away

im your bf(bestfriend)

read the pins sis

marinettedesigned

i have hw

notchatnoir

i’ll help u

with my beefy brains

marinettedesigned

...Ok fine

but only bc it’s physics and you’re good at it

notchatnoir

yea i am

certified genius 🧠

marinettedesigned

who once got his tail stuck in the railing of my balcony

notchatnoir

IT WAS ONE TIME

ok can i head over

marinettedesigned

yea

but you have to leave by 22h

notchatnoir

no prob

i’ll be gone like a cat in the night

marinettedesigned

a vengeful cat in the night?

notchatnoir

f

I forgot i told u about that

what all did i tell u

marinettedesigned

when u were like 14 u were feeling extra emo one night so u made up an angsty song and dramatically sang in the streets iin the middle of the night

and then cataclysmed a poster of adrien agreste

and the song said “im the vengeful cat in the night”

but you refused to sing it for me or tell me the words

notchatnoir

yeah and i never will

i regret ever telling you about that

marinettedesigned

you won’t sing it for me? :(

notchatnoir

NO

besides, it wouldn’t be seasonal

it’s a christmas song

marinettedesigned

LMAO WHAT

this was at christmas???

notchatnoir

yeah

marinettedesigned

why were you so angsty at christmas

notchatnoir

because

marinettedesigned

the most wonderful time of the year

notchatnoir

i just was

marinettedesigned

the hap-, happiest season of all

notchatnoir

ok i get it

can i come over now

marinettedesigned

only if you promise to sing me the song

notchatnoir

never

(ngl tho it was a bop)

marinettedesigned

promise

notchatnoir

NO

marinettedesigned

[eyes go black]

PAWMISE

notchatnoir

ugh

u know i cant say no to you when u make cat puns

marinettedesigned

>:3

notchatnoir

fine

I’ll sing it for u on my deathbed then

marinettedesigned

what if i die first

notchatnoir

You wont

I wont let that happen

It’s illegal

marinettedesigned

what if i cant make it to your deathbed

notchatnoir

Why cant you make it to my theoretical deathbed

am i not important enough to you

marinettedesigned

it’s just that i’ll probably be too busy debuting my new fashion line in milan:(

notchatnoir

well i obvioiusly i wouldn’t die during milan fashioin week

i’d wait till after so i could go to your show

im lifeless, not tasteless

marinettedesigned

that’s very considerate of you

I’ll have my assistant send you a ticket

notchatnoir

good to know you’ll remember me when youre rich and famous 🥺

marinettedesigned

I’ll try 💅

notchatnoir

maybe i could model some of your designs 👀

marinettedesigned

i thought u were dying

notchatnoir

Doesnt mean i cant still werk it

i will die fabulous or i will not die at all

marinettedesigned

are you sure you can handle the pressure

notchatnoir

please

It’s called a catwalk

I was born for this

marinettedesigned

sdlkjfasljdkf

well u better do a good job bc i wont let you get away with clownery when youre representing MY brand

notchatnoir

excuse me

Im highly professional

marinettedesigned

says the guy who puns his way through every akuma battle

notchatnoir

i can pun professionally

you can acCOUNT on me

(accounting pun)

marinettedesigned

no

notchatnoir

let me keep this BRIEF

(like...a business brief. or. a briefcase idk)

marinettedesigned

0 pts

notchatnoir

I hope my professional jokes SUIT you

(....suit)

marinettedesigned

wrong

notchatnoir

Ok you need to give me an actual category to work with cause i just googled “professional” and it’s just a bunch of pictures of people in suits shaking hands

marinettedesigned

are u the pun master or not

notchatnoir

yes

but even masters need a framework to operate in

marinettedesigned

that’s not what u said yesterday

you said (and i quote...ish) “i dont need your help. I can come up with them on my own. I can make a pun out of anything. Keep your pity puns, for I am the Pun Master, and the best punsters in Paris quiver before me” blah blah something about how only weaklings need help with their jokes and you are not a weakling because you are connected to the “primal source of punnery” ??? whatever that means

idk you got really weird and monologue-y and wouldnt shut up lol

notchatnoir

i never said that

u have no proof

marinettedesigned

slkdfja did you delete it??

wait i took a screenshot i think

HA

Screenshot_314.png

notchatnoir

OH MY GOSH

LIGHT MODE???

MYEYES_spongebob_meme.jpg

im sorry, we can’t be bfs anymore

marinettedesigned

what lol

I didn’t even know u could change it

why do you care

notchatnoir

uhhh hello? Im chat noir, prince of darkness

i always use dark mode

marinettedesigned

LSDKJFLSKJFS PRINCE OF DARKNESS

more like prince of DORKNESS

notchatnoir

everyone else in paris thinks im cool

why cant u get with the program

marinettedesigned

even ladybug?

notchatnoir

especially ladybug

marinettedesigned

doubt.jpg

notchatnoir

I’LL PROVE IT

hang on

marinettedesigned

mmk

 

---

 

21:23

notchatnoir

hey mlady❤️

quick question

luckycharm

shoot

notchatnoir

do you think im cool

luckycharm

no

notchatnoir

aight thanks

luckycharm

np

 

---

 

21:32

notchatnoir

Screenshot_163.png

see

marinettedesigned

lol i know you edited that

notchatnoir

no i didnt

marinettedesigned

then why is the “yes” slightly bigger than the rest of the text

notchatnoir

it’s for emphasis

that’s how cool she thinks i am

marinettedesigned

surejan.gif

well since you didnt black out her username now i can just ask her myself

notchatnoir

CRAP

Nooo she’ll kill me if she knew i gave that out please dont

marinettedesigned

lol im kidding

Im not going to bug her

she has to deal with enough already

(aka you)

notchatnoir

YOU JUST MADE A LADYBUG PUN

#myinfluence

that’s the true power of a bf(bestfriend)

marinettedesigned

lol ok

notchatnoir

crap

u know what i just realized

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

it’s past 22h

and i never came over

marinettedesigned

PFFFFFT

guess im failing this physics hw then ✌️

notchatnoir

no i can still come over and help

please? 🥺

marinettedesigned

ehh i promised my mom id get to bed early tn

because i keep falling asleep at school

notchatnoir

well, a princess does need her beauty sleep

marinettedesigned

but i dont wanna sleep yet :((( it’s vibe time

screw responsibility

come over and let met beat you 100 times at ums

notchatnoir

No, your mom’s right

It’s late and you should get your rest

marinettedesigned

wow

never thought i’d hear something like that from u of all people

notchatnoir

See what im doing?

marinettedesigned

What

notchatnoir

being professional :)

marinettedesigned

lfsjaslj

ok im gonna try to finish this hw and then i’ll go to bed then

notchatnoir

good luck

marinettedesigned

thx

Holy crap

I just switched to dark mode

u were right this is so much better lol

notchatnoir

told ya

marinettedesigned

alright stop dsitracting me

fare thee well, prince of darkness

notchatnoir

Thank you for using my formal title

But the title i prefer is bf(bestfriend)

marinettedesigned

Ok

gn bf

notchatnoir

LKFJDSFsd

i didnt expect that

🥰

gn bf

Notes:

art by marikittynoir

Chapter 4: soon, soon, soon

Summary:

“See you later,” he said as he pulled back.

 

I love you.

 

Soon, soon, soon.

Notes:

A/N: Although they are a few years older than in canon for simplicity’s sake I’m pretending that their class is the same as it was when they were in collège because that’s what we’re familiar with in the show. So Miss Bustier is still their teacher and they have all the same classmates as in the show. Also the same seating arrangement lol

When he woke, his first thoughts were of her.

Her hand, warm against his cheek. Her eyes, wide and shining. Her lips, colliding with his.

Just her—filling his lungs with her breath, singing inside his blood, brushing her fingertips over every inch of his soul.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was his soulmate, and she loved him, and everything was perfect.

“Blegh,” Plagg said. “And I thought your normal moony-over-Marinette face was bad. But this? This is so much worse.”

Adrien threw a stray sock at him. “I’m not going to apologize for being happy about the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So you can either shut up and be happy for me, or you can just … shut up, I guess.”

“This is me being happy for you.”

“Well, then, I’m very touched.”

On a normal day, Adrien might’ve kept arguing until Nathalie came to get him for school. But not even Plagg’s grumbling could bring him down today. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed when they rolled to a stop beside an old Adrien: the fragrance ad on the way to school. For once, he actually did feel as radiant, carefree, dreamy as he looked on that stupid poster.

Because Marinette Dupain-Cheng was his soulmate, and she loved him, and everything was perfect.

As soon as they made it to the school, Adrien jumped out of the car, shouting goodbye to the Gorilla over his shoulder. He ran up the steps two at a time and darted through the crowded hallways, making it to Miss Bustier’s classroom in record time.

And there she was.

“Morning, Marinette!” he said, panting slightly.

She blinked up at him, her lips slightly parted in surprise, and it took everything in him not to kiss her senseless right there in front of everyone.

“Um, morning, Adrien,” she said.

A thrill ran through him at the sound of his name. Of course, she’d called him Adrien a million times before, but soon she would know. Soon, she could call him Adrien all the time.

He could’ve stood there gawking at her for forever, but he probably seemed like enough of a weirdo already since he’d rushed into the room just to greet her like an eager puppy. He forced himself to slide into his seat beside Nino and take out his notebook.

“Dude, why are you out of breath?” Nino eyed him. “Did you run here?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Why? You’re not even late.”

“Oh, I’m just … excited to learn!”

“Okay, weirdo.”

Adrien snuck another peek at Marinette over his shoulder as he flipped his notebook open. He couldn’t help it. She was right there—close enough that he could reach out and take her hand. Let her feel everything he felt. Tell her without speaking, It’s me. It’s always been me.

But he couldn’t. Not yet. He had to wait a little longer.

She was bent over her desk, her dark hair spilling around her shoulders as she tapped her pen against her notebook. She glanced up and caught him staring, and maybe he should’ve been embarrassed, maybe he should’ve turned away, but those were the same eyes he had stared into last night while he savored the taste of her I love you, and he couldn’t look away.

He grinned, and she flashed a smile back—a soft, bright, beautiful thing, like a butterfly, or a twinkling star, or a scattered rainbow caught in a shard of glass.

“Good morning, class,” Miss Bustier called.

Adrien forced himself to face the front. But all through the lesson, his thoughts were on her.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was his soulmate, and she loved him, and soon—soon—everything would be perfect.

 

---

 

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, the Gorilla was already waiting for him, but Adrien couldn’t leave without seeing her one more time. He found her at her locker, tucking a book into her bag.

“Hey, Marinette.”

Her head snapped up. “Oh! H-hi, Adrien.”

Something was wrong. Her smile was too strained, her shoulders slumped under an unseen weight.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She ducked her head, sweeping her hair behind her ear. “Yeah! Yeah. I’m just … tired, that’s all.”

Now that he was looking more closely, he could see the dark circles under her eyes, the slight crease between her brows.

“Late night?” he asked cautiously.

She offered a weak smile. “Bad habit, I guess.”

Adrien had barely slept at all because he was too busy “pining like a stupid lovesick dweeb” (Plagg’s words, not his), but he got the feeling there was something else going on with Marinette. A sinking dread settled at the bottom of his stomach. Had she changed her mind? Had she decided she didn’t want him as a soulmate after all?

No. She loved him. She was happy. He knew that. He’d felt it, straight from her.

But now, standing before her with no words to offer, he could only guess what she was feeling. The few centimeters between them felt like a chasm. He wished he could touch her and know it all without a word. Wished he could wrap her in his arms and tell her it would be okay, whatever was going on.

Soon. Soon, soon, soon.

His phone dinged. It was a text from the Gorilla. He sighed and shoved it back into his pocket. “I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m not sure what’s going on, but … take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will. Thanks.”

He hesitated, then placed his hands on her shoulders, careful not to touch her skin. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

He looked her in the eyes, trying to channel all the things he couldn’t say. She blinked up at him, and he could only hope she got at least part of the message.

“See you later,” he said as he pulled back.

I love you.

Soon, soon, soon.

 

---

 

The rest of the day dragged slowly by. Kagami chided him for being distracted during fencing practice, and his photographer practically had a meltdown because he wasn’t imagining lasagne with enough passion.

Adrien counted the seconds until the sun finally slipped below the horizon. He wasn’t supposed to meet Ladybug for patrol until 20:30, but he couldn’t wait that long. The second Nathalie left him alone to finish his homework, he transformed before Plagg had a chance to complain about it. Then he threw open his window and jumped into the night.

He got to their usual meeting spot much too early, but he didn’t care. He paced up and down the length of the roof, twirling his staff absently as he replayed every moment with Marinette from the night before. How would she feel when she finally knew? He closed his eyes and imagined it—her hand on his face, his name on her lips, her warmth rushing through him like a summer breeze.

Soon, soon, soon.

The minutes ticked by, but there was no sign of Ladybug. He checked the time on his baton, frowning. It wasn’t like her to be this late.

Just when he was about to call her, a soft thump sounded behind him.

He spun around. “Ladybug! I have big news.”

“Oh? What kind of news?” Her silhouette was painted with moonlight, but her face was hidden in shadow as she stowed her yo-yo on her hip.

“You’ll never believe it,” Adrien said eagerly. “I have a soulmate.”

“Oh! Tha—that’s amazing, Chat. What are the chances?”

“About negative one billion.” He grinned and plopped onto the edge of the roof, letting his feet dangle over the glittering lights of the city below. “I can hardly believe it’s real. Not just that I have a soulmate, but that it’s her.”

Ladybug lowered herself next to him on the ledge. “What’s she like?” she asked.

“Kind. Smart. Funny. Beautiful. Basically all of the things you’d ever want in a soulmate.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She’s incredible. I don’t know how I got this lucky.”

She turned, milky light washing over her face, and smiled softly. “She’s lucky to have you too.”

“Thanks.” He shifted to face her. “I know our identities are supposed to be a secret, but I’m sure Master Fu would make an exception. You can’t keep a secret from your soulmate, right?”

She didn’t answer. Just looked down at the city below, the ribbons in her hair gently rustling in the breeze.

“Could you ask him for me?” he asked. “Just to be sure.”

Her voice was barely a whisper above the gentle hum of traffic. “I already did.”

“You did? When?”

“Um, a few weeks ago. When …” She swallowed. “When I found my soulmate.”

A pang of some unknown emotion jolted through him. “You … have a soulmate too?”

“Yeah.”

He was speechless for the space of a heartbeat. Then he shook himself and grinned. “That’s amazing! I’m happy for you, Bug.”

Her gaze flickered downward. “You won’t be happy in a second.”

Adrien’s smile faded. “He said no, didn’t he.”

She nodded.

“Oh.” His heart sank like a stone, cold and hard at the bottom of his chest.

“He said it was too much of a risk for my soulmate to know who I was,” she said, voice hushed. “Because if Hawkmoth found out, he could manipulate me.”

It didn’t make sense. How could Adrien not tell her? How could he keep secrets from the one person he was supposed to share everything with?

“But that’s not all,” Ladybug whispered. “He said I ... couldn’t touch his skin.”

His mouth went dry. “What?”

“He said the bond might grow too powerful. That we might learn to read each others’ thoughts. And then I wouldn’t have the choice to keep my secret. He said that to protect my identity, I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let the bond grow. He said …”

She took a shaking breath and bowed her head.

“He said I had to let it die.”

Adrien felt like he was falling, like he’d just slipped over the edge of the building and left his stomach on the roof behind him. He gripped the ledge to ground himself, claws digging into the stone, while his pulse thundered in his ears.

“Chat?” Ladybug asked. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Adrien shook his head. “This can’t be right. You must have misunderstood.”

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“Isn’t … isn’t there another way? If Master Fu knew her, he’d know he could trust her. Maybe if I brought her there to meet him—”

“No,” Ladybug said. “He wouldn’t even let me say my soulmate’s name. He said that no one should know, not even him.”

“But it’s not fair!” He couldn’t keep his voice from rising. His skin felt hot underneath his suit. “How can he say this? He doesn’t know what it’s like. He doesn’t know what it’s like to love like this.”

Ladybug said nothing. Her eyes were closed, the glint of a tear on her cheek, and when he looked at her, all the fire in his chest died down.

“But you do,” he said softly. “You know what it’s like.”

She wiped at her eye with a gloved hand. “Trust me. This isn’t the answer I wanted either.”

His hands clenched into fists in his lap. He stared at the glowing green of his miraculous. “I know it’s our duty to protect the city, but don’t we have a duty to our soulmates too? I mean, don’t we get a shot at being happy? It’s not fair to them. And it’s not fair to us.”

She turned to him, and he could read the starlight in her eyes, sad and longing.

“We’re superheroes, Chat Noir,” she said. “We don’t have a choice.”

It was the same thing she’d said to him years ago, on a night like this one, in the glow of the candles, with his rose-shaped love wilting in his hands. It felt like a lifetime ago. They were different people then. Just kids.

But then again, some things never change. No matter what, Ladybug would always be his best friend. Maybe they were a different kind of soulmate—one that fate, or destiny (or a tiny ancient Chinese man) threw together, whose paths would always intertwine, even while their hearts led somewhere else.

From the very beginning it had always been the two of them against the world, and now she was here beside him, wearing the same kind of heartbreak on her sleeve. And it seemed there was nothing else to do but sit under the moonlight and be broken together.

He scooted closer to her on the ledge, lifting his arm in invitation. She hesitated, then relaxed against him, burying her face in his suit. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. For a while, they were silent. Hot tears blurred the city lights into bright smudges of color while her gentle sobs mixed with the drone of cars below.

“We’ll make it through,” he whispered. “And so will they. We’ll be okay.”

He wished he could believe it.

When the moon had retreated behind the clouds and they’d finally said their goodbyes, Adrien dropped back through his window. He felt like he had run a thousand miles, his limbs trembling under his own weight.

He sank onto his bed. “Claws in.”

“Look, kid,” Plagg said, “I know that—”

“Sorry, I don’t want to talk right now,” Adrien said hoarsely. His throat was still raw from crying, his eyes still red and tender.

For once, Plagg didn’t argue. He nodded and flew away to his cheese cupboard, leaving Adrien alone in the shadowy corner of his bedroom.

Adrien kicked off his shoes and burrowed under his blankets, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. He stared at the wall, willing himself not to cry again, but when he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, he couldn’t stop the tears from leaking out.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was his soulmate, and she loved him.

And everything was wrong.

Notes:

art by marikittynoir THANKS MOZZY ily <33

Chapter 5: 1 hour and 48 minutes

Summary:

notchatnoir

Can i call you

3 days ago

00:11

notchatnoir

are you awake?

sorry, i know it’s late

marinettedesigned

im here

how was patrol

notchatnoir

i told ladybug

and she talked to the guardian

marinettedesigned

and?

notchatnoir

i’d rather talk about this in person

but i cant wait that long

Can i call you

marinettedesigned

ok

notchatnoir started a call that lasted 1 hour and 48 minutes.

 

---

 

02:18

marinettedesigned

i love you, chat noir

notchatnoir

i love you too

and im sorry

marinettedesigned

it’s not your fault

notchatnoir

i know

but im still sorry

marinettedesigned

yeah

me too.

Notes:

in case it wasnt clear, this conversation takes place on the same night as the previous chapter. the timestamps show how long ago it was in relation to the following chapter

Chapter 6: i'm here

Summary:

“Marinette,” he said.

Her voice came out as a whisper. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.”

Notes:

i commissioned the amazing anna-scribbles to do art of a scene in this chapter! see it at the end :D
Update: art-the-f-up drew that scene as well and it's gorgeous 😭 link at the bottom notes

“Good morning.” Alya folded her arms and leaned against the lockers. “Now spill.”

Marinette blinked. “Uh, what?”

Alya scoffed. “Don’t pretend there’s not something going on with you. You’ve been acting weird all week.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Marinette leaned over her bag to hide her face.

“Seriously? Your excuses are always lame, but lately they’ve been downright pitiful. You said you couldn’t come to my mom’s tasting yesterday because your hamster was graduating from obedience school. You don’t even have a hamster.”

“I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately, I guess.” Marinette shut her locker.

Alya’s eyebrows rose. “Yeah? Care to share, then?”

“I—we’re gonna be late to class.” Marinette spun on her heel and marched down the hall toward Miss Mendeleiv’s room.

“Oh no you don’t.” Alya caught her by the shoulder. “You’re not getting out of this one. Not until you tell me what’s up.”

Marinette tried not to flinch under Alya’s laser-beam gaze. “N-nothing …”

Alya groaned. “Come on, M. You know you can’t hide things from your best friend.”

But sometimes you don’t have a choice.

Marinette swallowed down the lump in her throat. “I can’t—”

“Wait, does this have something to do with Adrien?”

Her mouth fell open. “What? No!”

“I don’t know … he’s been weird lately too. Nino said he’s been even more AWOL than usual.” Alya narrowed her eyes. “Are you guys secretly dating or something?”

“Of course not!”

“I mean, I know you say you’re over him, but if he asked, you’d go out with him, right?”

Marinette couldn’t fight the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Why are we even talking about this right now? We’re gonna be late.”

“Fine,” Alya said coolly. “But don’t think this discussion is over. I always get the scoop.”

Marinette sighed as Alya walked ahead of her. “At least I have one best friend I don’t have to lie to,” she whispered to Tikki.

 

---

 

Alya was relentless for the rest of the day. Marinette tried her best to ignore her nudges during class, her pointed looks at lunch, her whispered questions in the halls. But she knew that when school was over, there would be no distractions left to protect her. She had to plan her escape carefully.

When the bell finally rang at the end of the day, she waited until Alya had turned her back. Then she snuck out, ducking into the nearest bathroom. After a few minutes, Alya called her, but Marinette ignored it.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Tikki asked.

“Are you kidding? She’s just going to grill me about what’s going on. And I can’t tell her anything.” Marinette sighed. “I just need more time to figure out what to say to her.”

When she was sure the coast was clear, she slipped back into the hall, casting glances over her shoulder as she made her way to the stairs. She managed to make it to the bottom without incident, but she was so focused on watching out for Alya that she forgot to watch where she was going. With a muffled shout, she collided with something solid and warm, toppling to the floor.

“Oh. ’Sup, Marinette?” Nino said.

It turned out that the solid, warm thing was Adrien. He scrambled to his feet and reached out a hand to help her up but then snatched it back like he’d been burned.

“Uhhh, let me help you with that!” He knelt and began to gather up the books that had spilled out of her school bag.

Marinette’s face flushed as she shoved some loose papers into a folder. “S-sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His smile was as bright and warm as always, but there was something different about it. There wasn’t any time to figure out what it was, though. She had to get out of here while she still could.

“Thanks!” She got to her feet and took the books from Adrien, stowing them in her bag.

“Oh, by the way, Alya was looking for you,” Nino said.

Marinette suppressed a groan. “I know. So don’t tell her you saw me, okay? I gotta go.” She dashed away without giving either of them a chance to say anything else.

When she got to the bakery, she peeked through the window first to make sure Alya wasn’t waiting to ambush her inside. But it looked like she’d finally shaken her—for now, at least. She let out a breath and slipped through the door.

“Hi, sweetie. How was school?” Mom said over the jingle of the bell. She had a box open on the counter, carefully placing pastries inside one by one with a pair of silver tongs.

Marinette brushed her hair away from her face. “It was fine.”

Mom paused with a croissant halfway to the box. “Are you alright, Marinette?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve been acting strange this week. We’ve been worried.”

“Really, I’m fine.”

Papa poked his head in from the back room. “You seem like you need a break. How about a video game tournament later tonight?”

Marinette adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “Thanks, but I have a lot of work to do.”

“Well, be sure to come down and eat some supper after closing,” Mom said. “I made baozi.”

“Actually, I … I’m not feeling so well. I’m gonna turn in early tonight, okay?”

Mom frowned and placed the tongs inside the box of pastries. “You do seem flushed. Maybe you’re coming down with something.”

“Maybe. I probably just need some rest. Don’t bother coming up, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” Marinette ran up the stairs before they could ask any more questions.

“Feel better, sweetheart,” Papa called after her.

When she finally made it to the safety of her bedroom, she dropped her bag on the floor and sank onto her chaise. Tikki flitted out of her purse.

“What am I supposed to do, Tikki?” Marinette asked. “Everyone knows something’s going on. I don’t know how much longer I can keep making excuses.”

“I know it’s hard,” Tikki said, “but you’ve kept Ladybug a secret for three years now. You can keep this secret too.”

Marinette flopped backward, clutching a pillow to her chest. “I’m so tired of secrets.”

Tikki’s eyes looked sad and ancient. “I know. I’m sorry, Marinette.”

She fiddled with the fringe on the edge of the pillow. “Did any other Ladybugs have a soulmate too?”

Tikki nodded. “Two others before you.”

“What did they do?”

“One of them chose to give up his miraculous.”

Her fingers froze. Instinctually, she reached for her earrings. “What about the other one?”

Tikki hesitated. “She chose to give up her soulmate.”

Marinette swallowed. “You mean, she let her bond die? Like Master Fu said?”

“Yes. And she chose to never see her soulmate again. She said it was too hard. That it was better to pretend they’d never met.”

Marinette’s blood went cold. “I can’t do that. Chat Noir is my partner.”

“I know.”

“And my best friend.”

“I know.”

“And … and I love him.” She hugged the pillow tighter. “Tikki, I love him more than anything.”

“I know.”

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “So how can I give him up? I can’t. I won’t. I’ll just—I’ll just—”

Tap-tap, tap, tap, tap-tap, tap-tap-tap.

Their secret knock.

Marinette scrambled off the chaise while Tikki flew away to hide. Really, it was dumb that they even had a secret knock. It wasn’t like there was ever anyone else showing up at her balcony. But he used it every time, and she didn’t want him to stop. Because on her worst days, that sound always sent relief flooding through all her aching corners.

She could see part of his dark suit at the edge of the window as she stumbled up the steps to the loft. She pushed open the skylight, and there he was.

For a moment, neither of them moved. She just stared up at him, full of words she didn’t know how to say.

“Marinette,” he said.

Her voice came out as a whisper. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.”

She pulled him down onto her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

“I don’t really know if we should—”

“He said no skin contact,” she mumbled against his shoulder. “He never said anything about me hugging the living crap out of you.”

He chuckled. “Fair enough.”

His arms came around her too, and she released her breath, deep and slow. With her eyes closed, she imagined she could feel him, the way she did before—his light, his warmth, his soul’s quiet touch. Like a lost thing restored. Or a forgotten truth remembered. All her empty filled with him. She squeezed him tighter. Maybe, if she held him close enough, she could keep the memory from fading.

(Maybe, if she loved him hard enough, she could keep the bond from dying.)

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.” Reluctantly, she pulled away. “What are you doing here? You said you had a thing today.”

“I faked a stomachache so I could leave,” he said. “I had to see you.”

“Ha. I faked an illness too. I just needed to be alone.”

Chat’s eyes widened. “Oh—do you want me to leave? Sorry, I should’ve asked if it was a good time, or, or if—”

“Chat. I always want you here.”

His face relaxed into a soft smile, the kind he’d given her on so many warm, sleepy nights—under the stars on some remote rooftop, or in the glow of the lanterns on her balcony, or behind the walls of a blanket fort on her bedroom floor. He had toothy grins and cheeky smirks galore, but these kinds of smiles were always her favorite. They felt like a gift he’d made just for her, wrapped up in brown paper and bound with string—a simple treasure she could keep in her pocket for a rainy day.

She brought her hand close to his face, fingers centimeters from his skin. He didn’t flinch or move away. Just looked at her with sad eyes and her favorite smile.

How could she not touch him? How could she not touch him when his cheeks had been sculpted especially to the shape of her hands?

She sighed and let her hand fall. “This sucks.”

His wistful smile faded. “Yeah. It really does.” He lowered his gaze. His hand moved uncertainly, hovering over hers, but then he drew back.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“I told you—you have no reason to apologize,” she said. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but …” He swallowed. “If it had been anyone else—or no one else—you could be happy.”

“No.” Marinette grabbed his hand. “Kitty, I’m happy because it’s you.”

“But are you happy? Can you be happy, with me, like this?” His eyes found hers again, desperate, searching.

Marinette stared back. “No one said it would be easy,” she said finally.

“But it shouldn’t be this hard. I can’t—I don’t … I don’t want to lose you.” He squeezed his eyes shut. A tear leaked onto his mask.

She lifted one hand and gently wiped it away, careful not to touch his face. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m here. I’m right here.”

His voice was a broken whisper. “Marinette, I don’t want to let it die.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I won’t let it.”

“But we can’t touch.”

“So what? I’m not going to let the universe kill what it just barely gave us.”

Chat shook his head. “I wish that was how it worked.”

“That is how it works,” she said. “You’re just underestimating me.”

“I would never. I know better than that.”

“But what you don’t know is how petty I can be.”

He gave a weak laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She squeezed his hand. “It means that if the universe tells us we can’t be soulmates anymore, I’m gonna be your soulmate anyway. I’m gonna love you so hard and want you so much that it won’t have a choice.”

He stared at her, the top edge of his mask furrowed. Another tear slid down his cheek. She resisted the urge to wipe it away.

“I wish I could give you everything you deserve,” he whispered.

“But I have you. And that’s all I need.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Don’t you want more than what I can give you right now?”

She paused. “You know, a friend once told me that you don’t choose who to love, but you do choose how to love them.”

Chat smiled. “This mystery friend sounds very wise.”

“He’s not. It was a fluke.”

“Hey!”

“But he was right about that.” She caught his gaze. “Chat, this is how I choose to love you. I’ll love you just like this, until I’m allowed to love you another way.”

For a second, he didn’t answer. Then he pulled her in and held her close. She could feel his arms trembling, his breath shaking. A lump grew in her throat, and she blinked back tears.

“It’s okay,” she murmured. “I’m here. We’re together. That’s what really matters.”

His arms tightened around her. “I love you, princess. More than anything.”

“I love you too.”

For several long heartbeats, they held each other. Then Chat pulled away, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry, I should go. I know you have homework.”

“No! Don’t.” She pulled him back onto her pillows and nestled against him. “Stay with me. Please?”

He slipped his hand into hers, lacing their fingers together. “If you insist.”

“I do. But next time, I call dibs on being the blubbering mess, okay?”

He laughed. “Deal.”

For a while, they just lay there, talking about nothing and everything. Her parents must have decided to let her rest because they never came to check on her. She was glad for the stolen time, and even more glad it was with him. She found herself focusing on the weight of his hand in hers, the heat of their shoulders pressed together. Every point of contact was an anchor that she clung to. He was warm, and he was here, and he was hers, and for now, it was enough.

When the sun had set and evening shadows settled over her room, Chat gave her hand a final squeeze. “I have to get back now. They’re going to realize I’m gone.”

“Okay.”

He pushed the skylight open and climbed through. She poked her head out after him.

“Wait, don’t I get a kiss goodbye?” she blurted.

His brows shot up under his mask. She felt her face warm. Stupid. Why would she even ask?

Chat crouched back down. He kissed two fingers and touched them to her lips.

“Good night, Marinette.”

He left her with one last warm, paper-wrapped smile. Then he jumped into the darkness and disappeared.

“Good night, Chat Noir,” she whispered to the night.

I miss you.

Come back.

art by anna-scribbles

Notes:

HUGE thanks to anna for taking this commission and working so hard on it. it's absolutely gorgeous and makes me wanna cry aaaaaaaaa
reblog her post here and don't forget to check out the rest of her art tag here! she's one of my favorite artists 🥺

UPDATE: Check out art-the-f-up's drawing of the same scene HERE! SO GOOD im cryyyy

Chapter 7: homeless romantic

Summary:

lahiffesbeats

dude ily but ur full of crap lmao

u think after all this time i cant tell when my best bro is hurt?

bogus

1 day ago

15:13

ladyblogger

hey girl

how are you feeling today?

marinettedesigned

uhhh what?

im fine, why wouldn’t i be fine??

ladyblogger

idk, maybe because when i tried to come over yesterday your parents said you were sick and sent me away ?

marinettedesigned

right..

it was just a headache. slept it off and im fine now, ha

ladyblogger

good, im glad you’re feeling better now

marinettedesigned

yep, thanks!!

ladyblogger

better enough to … finally tell me what’s going on??

marinettedesigneh

I told you, it’s nothing

I’ve just been stressed with school stuff and commissions and such

ladyblogger

well, i know you tend to bite off more than you can chew

marinettedesigned

yep, that’s me!! Just...chewing!

look out, trying to swallow here! hahahaha

ha

ladyblogger

I also know that you’re a terrible liar

marinettedesigned

uh

what?

ladyblogger

look m, i know i give you a hard time about stuff sometimes

but you know i love you, right? im always here for you

marinettedesigned

I know

And i really appreciate it. seriously

ladyblogger

i’ll give you space if you need it

but i can tell something is wrong

it’s not nothing and it’s not just normal stress

something is really hurting you, isn’t it?

marinettedesigned

well

ladyblogger

well?

marinettedesigned

...

actually, i do need space right now

ladyblogger

Oh. I see.

marinettedesigned

im sorry

please dont be mad?

ladyblogger

I’m not mad.

marinettedesigned

yes u are :(

you’re using your mad texting voice

with capital letters and punctuation

ladyblogger

sorry

I promise im not mad

just a little disappointed

marinettedesigned

bc i’m keeping something from you?

ladyblogger

no

because you don’t trust me enough to share

marinettedesigned

no that’s not it at all!

I do trust you!

I just. can’t talk about this with anyone

Even you

ladyblogger

it’s okay, marinette

I don’t wanna guilt you or anything

you’re allowed to keep things private if you want to

marinettedesigned

i’m sorry

I don’t want to keep anything from you, i promise

ladyblogger

don’t worry about it

Listen, I gotta run some errands

then i’m taking the twins over to nino’s to play with chris while our parents are out

but i’m around if you need to talk, okay?

im here for you whenever you want me to be here.

marinettedesigned

Ok

thanks

ladyblogger

Love you, marinette

marinettedesigned

Love you, al 🧡

 

---

 

17:22

lahiffesbeats

yo

u ok dude?

adrienagrestebrand

? yeah, im fine

lahiffesbeats

lies. you’ve been off all week

i would leave u to alone to cry your manly tears in private but

1. im ur best bro and i wanna be here for u in ur time of pain and crisis

2. u arent like that anyway

3. screw toxic masculinitiy amirite

adrienagrestebrand

thanks nino💚

but dont worry, im not in a time of pain and crisis

lahiffesbeats

dude ily but ur full of crap lmao

u think after all this time i cant tell when my best bro is hurt?

bogus

im not the best at picking up on signals and whatnot but even i can tell when you’re being sadboi™️

adrienagrestebrand

ha

well...yeah

lahiffesbeats

whats up then

i mean ur always kinda sadboi ig bc ur old man sucks but this seems like something different

like big bummer hours

i get the feeling that this is about a romantical thing ? 👀

adrienagrestebrand

what makes you say that

lahiffesbeats

i saw u drawing tiny lil hearts inside ur physics notebook lol

and sighing dramatically

adrienagrestebrand

that doesn’t mean anything. maybe i just like doodling tiny hearts

lahiffesbeats

also you keep listening to the same playlists on repeat

“sad anime songs to cry to” and another one just labeled with like. 12 hearts

adrienagrestebrand

ok how do you even know what im listening to??

lahiffesbeats

cause we’re friends on spotify

I can see what ur listening to in my feed

adrienagrestebrand

oh

lahiffesbeats

did u ask someone out and they sadid no??

nvm that sounds so stupid that cant be it lmaooo

adrienagrestebrand

why is that stupid

lahiffesbeats

bc ur a literal model and all the straight girls and even some of the straight guys at school r into u hahaha

adrienagrestebrand

well it’s not like i haven’t been rejected before

lahiffesbeats

pffft. bet

when

adrienagrestebrand

lots of times, actually

lahiffesbeats

what???

why wouldn’t you tell me about iti??

adrienagrestebrand

uh, it was kinda personal i guess?

and it was a long time ago

lahiffesbeats

are you telling me my best bro went thru MULTIPLE times of pain and crisis and i wasnt there for him??

adrienagrestebrand

of course you were!

lahiffesbeats

im a sham

adrienagrestebrand

come on

lahiffesbeats

gotta give back the best bro cap u got me

no longer worthy of it 😔

adrienagrestebrand

you’re always there for me, nino

even if you don’t realize that i need it

you’re the best best bro any bro could ask for 💚

lahiffesbeats

brO 🥺💚

adrienagrestebrand

bro 🥺💚

lahiffesbeats

k well if it was a long time ago maybe i just hadn’t learned the different brands of adrien sad hours yet

I probably thought it was the run-of-the-mill “my dad is a turd” sad hours

which, like, sucks. but. it be like that

adrienagrestebrand

you know i don’t like it when you talk about my father like that

but also...

worm

lahiffesbeats

lol i’m so glad i taught you that one

rememebr when you used to type like,,,idk, the freaking queen of england or something LKSJDF

all Fancy and Proper

adrienagrestebrand

hahaha yeah

I was never as bad as kagami tho, was i?

she still sort of types like that

lahiffesbeats

yeah but

the other day i sent her some cursed meme thing, i dont even remember

and she texted back “I desire to be Jared, age 19”

and it made my entire freakin life lmaoooo

adrienagrestebrand

djjdjdjdjdjd

that’s cute

lahiffesbeats

false

It’s HELLA cute lol

OK BUT

i was telling u what i know about ur brands of sad hours

to restore my honor as ur best bro

adrienagrestebrand

pls conitnue

lahiffesbeats

Ok so there’s

1. “my dad sux” normal sad hours

2. “my dad REALLY sux (and we got into a fight)” sad hours

3. “i miss my mom extra today” sad hours (💚💚💚 here for u, bud)

adrienagrestebrand

thanks💚

lahiffesbeats

4. “i am Overwhelmed by my 9000 extracurricular activities and the pressures of forced perfectionism” sad hours (side effects: hyperfocus about the uncertainty of the future giving way 2 weird existential dread n sometimes a short-lived rebellious streak, which ngl...i probably enjoy too much lmao)

adrienagrestebrand

KASKSKSK

lahiffesbeats

and finally, 5 (this is rare but it’s a doozy):

“im emo bc i like someone but i havent told them how i feel so im stuck in the throws (throes?? thros?? whatever) of unrequited love except for it’s probably requited and i don’t know it bc once again i havent asked them out even tho they would definitely say yes bc apart from being a giant anime nerd with questionable taste in music im a perfect catch” sad hours

adrienagrestebrand

...

lahiffesbeats

which number dude

n if u say something other than #5 i know you’re lying

adrienagrestebrand

uh

none??

lahiffesbeats

WHY THE F U ALWAYS LYIN

I know it’s 5

ur such a homeless romantic

adrienagrestebrand

homeless

lahiffesbeats

u know what i meant

and actually. I stand by it

adrien agreste is a homeless romantic

adrienagrestebrand

k well i wont deny that

but it’s still not quite accurate

lahiffesbeats

wym??

oh no

we’ve got a #6 dont we

adrienagrestebrand

what’s #6

lahiffesbeats

“I am extra sad and i’m being really obvious bc i’m unable to hide my feelings but if you ask i’ll be really mysterious about it for no discernible reason”

adrienagrestebrand

ah

uh

hm

lahiffesbeats

F

#confirmed

ok so is it like a 5.5 then??

adrienagrestebrand

What does that mean?

lahiffesbeats

it IS a romantical thing

but ur gonna be mysterious about it for no discernible reason

adrienagrestebrand

um. I guess?

lahiffesbeats

so that’s it then?

i am, once again, unable 2 support my best bud in a time of crisis

u really aren’t going to give me any more detail than that??

adrienagrestebrand

im sorry, i dont think i can

lahiffesbeats

well if it’s not because you’re pining after someone and haven’t told them how u feel then what is the deal

please at least give me the diagnosis of ur heartsickness dude

so i can make you a proper playlist for it

adrienagrestebrand

well it’s not bc i didn’t tell her how i feel

lahiffesbeats

so she rejected you???

adrienagrestebrand

no, she didn’t reject me

lahiffesbeats

???? ok so that’s good???? why the sadboi?

also dont i get to know who the lucky girl is

adrienagrestebrand

that’s the thing

I can’t tell you

lahiffesbeats

why tho?

i respect your space

But also

bro:(

adrienagrestebrand

…

Okay

lahiffesbeats

ok??

adrienagrestebrand

I shouldn’t tell you this but

lahiffesbeats

👀

adrienagrestebrand

uh how do i say this

lahiffesbeats

👀👀

adrienagrestebrand

I have

lahiffesbeats

👀👀👀

adrienagrestebrand

a soulmate

lahiffesbeats

LZKJF:LKjFLKSDJF:LSDKJFL:SKDJFL:KSJFL:SKDJF:LSKFJS:LKFS:LDKF

DUDE WHAT

ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW

adrienagrestebrand

Yes

lahiffesbeats

DUDE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TELL ME U HAD A CRUSH ON CHLOÉ OR SOMETHING LMAOOO

omg

is chloe your soulmate

adrienagrestebrand

NO

lahiffesbeats

oh thank goodness

adrienagrestebrand

chloe’s my friend but

never lol

lahiffesbeats

aight so what’s her name??

adrienagrestebrand

I can’t tell you

lahiffesbeats

DUDE WHY NOT

THIS IS HUGE

SOULMATES THAT’S LIKE

ASTRONOMICAL HUGE

adrienagrestebrand

I know!! So you cant tell anyone, ok?

This is trusted info for best bros only

lahiffesbeats

ofc!

but DUDE what did your dad say??

adrienagrestebrand

he doesn’t know

lahiffesbeats

woah, seriously??

adrienagrestebrand

I haven’t told anyone

except you

lahiffesbeats

but why all the secrecy?

omg is it soemone WORSE than chloe?

IS IT LILA

adrienagrestebrand

NO!!!

she’s nothing like lila

she’s good and honest and smart and funny and beautiful and brave and compassionate and trustworthy and kind

lahiffesbeats

wow

you really like. love her

adrienagrestebrand

yes

I love her more than anything

she’s the one, nino

lahiffesbeats

well, obviously

cause she’s your literal soulmate

adrienagrestebrand

i mean, yeah

but even if she wasn’t

she’d still be the one

I fell in love with her a long time before we clicked

lahiffesbeats

HANG ON

You knew her before????

She wasn’t a stranger???

DO I KNOW HER

DOES SHE GO TO FRANCOISE DUPONT

adrienagrestebrand

uhh

Im sorry, i really can’t talk about it

lahiffesbeats

SLKJDSLKF ARGH

ok. aight

mysterious mood #6 strikes again

I get it

I mean actually no i dont get it at all. but

adrienagrestebrand

trust me, i wish could tell you

I’d tell everyone if i could

but you know how my father is

Im afraid that if he found out, he wouldn’t let us be together

because it’s “not good for the brand” or whatever

lahiffesbeats

you’re still his son

as cold as he can be, he wouldn’t keep you from your ACTUAL SOULMATE

..right?

adrienagrestebrand

idk

I can’t risk it

I couldn’t bear it if i couldn’t see her anymore

lahiffesbeats

Wait so you’ve been sneaking out to see her so your dad doesn’t know?

adrienagrestebrand

yeah

lahiffesbeats

well wouldn’t it be the same if he knew and said no

you’d just sneak out and see her

adrienagrestebrand

sure but it would probably be a lot harder

cause he’d set nathalie and gorilla on the lookout

even more than they usually are

lahiffesbeats

MAN

I know you dont like me saying this but literally i hate ur dad so much

I just want to punch him so hard in his stupid bug-eyed sourpuss FACE

he really needs a vibe check

adrienagrestebrand

uh

im not sure what to say to that...

Thanks, i guess?

lahiffesbeats

yw 🤙

adrienagrestebrand

Im sorry i can’t tell you more

I just cant risk anything getting out, you know?

Not that i dont trust you! It’s just the less you know, the better

lahiffesbeats

sure, i guess

can i ask one thing, though?

adrienagrestebrand

Not sure if i can answer, but shoot

lahiffesbeats

what was it like?

the click

adrienagrestebrand

It’s...hard to describe

at first it was shocking and...loud?

but then it was just quiet

And it felt like...coming home

like i’d been wandering around looking for something my whole life but then suddenly, i was right where i was supposed to be

and i didn’t have to search anymore

because it was her, and she was right there

and she was home

sorry, that probably sounds weird and cheesy

lahiffesbeats

nah, that’s just love, dude. i get it

That’s how i feel about alya

she’s home for me

adrienagrestebrand

I hope i can have as good of a relationship as you do

I always wished i had what you two have

lahiffesbeats

ha i wouldn’t worry about it bro

you’re soulmates. what could keep you apart?

adrienagrestebrand

.....you’d be surprised

lahiffesbeats

hey

ur dad and his stupid sour cream dollop head cant keep you apart forever

when u graduate u can move out and finally be free of him

adrienagrestebrand

right

unless she decides being with me is too hard??

lahiffesbeats

nah, she wont

she’s your alya

alyas dont leave when it’s hard

they face the hard thing with you

adrienagrestebrand

right. of course

I trust her. I know she’s not going to leave

It’s just hurts to think of losing her, you know?

lahiffesbeats

I feel that

But you’ll get through it together. I promise

adrienagrestebrand

yeah. you’re right

lahiffesbeats

listen, i’m really glad you found your alya, man

I always hope you would eventually, whoever it ended up being

adrienagrestebrand

thanks💚

lahiffesbeats

ngl tho i thought it would be marinette lolol

adrienagrestebrand

uhh what? haha

lahiffesbeats

cmon dude, don’t deny that you had a crush on her

i had to put up with that “just a friend” crap for YEARS

but we all knew you had it bad for her lol

adrienagrestebrand

um. yeah, i guess i did. Ha

lahiffesbeats

and she had it just as bad oml 😂

adrienagrestebrand

she did???

lahiffesbeats

u seriously never noticed? the whole school knew about her mad crush on u man lol

I always thought it was a shame u never dated

actually it’s...kind of a miracle you didn’t?? Alya schemed so much and u know how she is when she puts her mind to something lmao

adrienagrestebrand

Wow, i ...never noticed

lahiffesbeats

hahaha bro ur one of the smartest dudes i know but you’re also one of the most clueless 😂

But no sweat, obviously it wasn’t meant to be

you’ve got Mystery Girl now and marinette has...well i think she’s single atm? but she’ll find someone eventually

adrien? u still there?

adrienagrestebrand

Yeah sry i was...bsuy w something for a min

lahiffesbeats

np, i gotta go now anyway. alya’s comin over with the twins

Congrats on having a soulmate!!!

and also im sorry things are rough

adrienagrestebrand

thanks

lahiffesbeats

but hey, you can count on me to help cover for u whenever you go visit ur girl

say you were with me and i’ll vouch for u

adrienagrestebrand

you’d do that for me?

lahiffesbeats

ofc

best bros remember

adrienagrestebrand

💚

lahiffesbeats

💚

ok, see ya monday

adrienagrestebrand

night

Chapter 8: the lucky ones

Summary:

“So let’s say that, theoretically, against all odds, two people in our class had a soulmate.” Alya paused, narrowing her eyes. “What are the chances that they’re soulmates with each other?”

Notes:

Just pretend the math in this chapter is legit ok lol I did try at first but at a certain point i had to make stuff up so...just go with it. thank

also thanks to morgie and tali for always beta-ing for me <3

ETA: my sister did some amazing art of this chapter! see it below💜

“Would you cut that out?” Plagg said. “You’re making me nervous.”

Adrien stopped pacing and glanced at the time on his phone. Nathalie would be coming for him in two minutes. She was never late. “Ugh. Should I skip today? Maybe I could pretend my fake stomachache came back.”

“What’s the point? You can’t avoid school forever.”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped. “And I don’t want to.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Plagg waved a dismissive paw. “We all know how much you love school. Which is so weird, by the way. I thought after three years you’d have finally realized that school sucks. Every other kid seems to get it!”

“I like seeing my friends,” Adrien said.

“Riiiight. Especially one in particular, huh?” Plagg waggled his not-eyebrows.

“Well, yeah, of course I like seeing Marinette!” Adrien resumed his pacing. “But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Now that we’re soulmates, being around her at school is even more of a risk than it was before.”

“Eh, stop stressing so much. You’ve kept your identity a secret for years. You just have to be careful.”

Adrien spun around. “I almost touched her, Plagg!”

“Yeah. But you didn’t.”

“I didn’t this time, but what if next time I don’t remember fast enough? Or I don’t have a choice?” Adrien swallowed. He’d been so close. So close to giving it all away.

And what scared him the most was that he almost wished he had.

He couldn’t stop thinking back to the night they clicked. He had felt her then—not just on his lips and between his arms but deep inside, like she was finally settling into a space inside his soul that had always been empty, shaped to her measurements, waiting to be filled by her alone.

And now that he knew she was his missing piece, he couldn’t help but ache whenever they were apart. When they were together it was better. It didn’t hurt so much. But still, he knew that hole could never quite be filled again until he could touch her. Until they could be together like other soulmates were.

He had to believe it would happen. She loved him now, and if Nino was right, she had loved him before without even knowing. Surely that was a sign? That they were meant to be together—not just because they were soulmates, but because they had chosen each other a long time ago, even if she didn’t know it.

Adrien sank onto his bed. “I hate that she doesn’t even know who I am. Why couldn’t I have clicked with her when I was Adrien?”

“Well, if you did, you’d still have the same problem,” Plagg pointed out. “You’re still Chat Noir, kid, even when you’re not suited up. So you’d still have to keep it a secret from her. And that means—”

“—I still wouldn’t be able to touch her.” Adrien frowned. “Only she wouldn’t know why.”

“Exactly,” Plagg said. “So really, it’s better this way.”

“I guess.” Adrien sighed. “It’s just so hard.”

A knock sounded at the door. Plagg dove into Adrien’s shirt pocket just in time for Nathalie to step in.

“Good morning,” she said briskly. “Are you ready for school? We’ll be leaving in five minutes.”

Adrien suppressed a groan. He couldn’t fake sick now that she’d seen him dressed and ready to go. “Yeah. I’ll be right down.”

She nodded and turned on her heel. He watched her go, stomach buzzing with uncertainty.

Plagg darted out of Adrien’s pocket. “Hey, maybe you could wear that old banana suit to school. That would keep you safe.” He cackled.

“Actually …” Adrien frowned thoughtfully and strode over to his closet.

“Wait, don’t tell me you’re actually going to dress up like a banana.”

“Of course not.” Adrien pushed past rows of starched shirts and neatly pressed trousers until he found his winter clothes. He yanked the nearest coat off its hanger. Luckily, there was already a pair of gloves inside the pocket.

“You look ridiculous,” Plagg said as Adrien slipped the coat on. “It’s not nearly cold enough to be wearing all that. Everyone’s gonna think it’s weird.”

“Whatever. I’ll just have to deal with it. What if she trips on me again? I can’t risk touching her.”

Plagg watched Adrien button up the coat. “You just had to click with the clumsiest girl at school, huh?”

“Yep. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Outside, the car honked. Adrien held open his coat for Plagg and dashed out the door, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he went.

 

---

 

“Bro, I think you left your top hat in the horse-drawn carriage.”

“Huh?” Adrien slid into his seat beside Nino, glancing at the row behind him. No Marinette yet.

“Uh, the fancy coat? The gloves?”

Right. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Uh, I’m cold, that’s all.”

“Dude, it’s like 25 degrees out. Why are you dressed like it’s the middle of the winter?” Nino eyed the coat’s elaborate collar. “In nineteenth-century England?”

Adrien’s face warmed. “It gets chilly in the classroom,” he said lamely.

Nino’s brows rose beneath his cap, but before he could say anything, the door burst open.

“Nice of you to join us, Marinette,” Miss Bustier said calmly. “Please take your seat so we can begin.”

“S-sure thing,” Marinette panted.

As she passed him on the way to her seat, her arm brushed his. His skin tingled under the fabric of his coat. It was a good thing he’d decided to wear it.

He rubbed away the goosebumps.

A very, very good thing.

 

---

 

By the time Miss Bustier had released them for lunch break, Adrien was sweating bullets. This whole “Prevent Yourself from Accidentally Touching Your Soulmate (and Revealing Your Identity and Losing Your Miraculous and Basically Ruining Everything) through the Power of Questionably Fashionable but Extremely Modest Dress!!” plan was clearly not working. He was about to give up and take the coat off when he felt a light tap through the padding on his shoulder.

“Yo, Mr. Darcy,” Alya said. “Mind staying back for a few minutes?”

“Uh, sure.”

Marinette appeared to be trying to sneak away, but Alya yanked her back by the backpack.

“You too, missy. I need to talk to both of you.”

Adrien’s pulse quickened. There was no way Alya knew about him and Marinette, right?

Alya pushed him and Marinette onto the bench and then stepped back to whisper something to Nino. When the last few stragglers had trickled out of the room, she planted her feet, hands on her hips.

“So. Is there anything you two would like to tell us?”

Adrien’s hands felt clammy inside his gloves. He stole a glance at Marinette, whose face looked a little pink.

“Alya,” she hissed, “I already told you! We’re not … well, you know ...”

“Yeah, I do know, even if you keep denying it.” Alya turned to Adrien. “So how ’bout you, lover boy? You gonna admit that you and Marinette are secretly dating?”

Adrien’s blood went cold. “I—uh ...” he stammered.

Alya groaned. “Ugh, seriously, what is with you guys? Just give it up. We already know you two are soulmates.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped at the same time Marinette shrieked, “What?”

“Oh, don’t pretend to be shocked,” Alya said. “Nino already told me that Adrien has a soulmate.”

Adrien jumped to his feet. “Nino! I told you not to tell anyone! You promised.”

“I didn’t think you meant Alya!” Nino said. “I mean, we’re not technically soulmates, but we basically are.”

Adrien plopped back onto the bench. “Well, I definitely did not say it was Marinette.”

Marinette shook her head. “And what makes you think I even have a soulmate at all? I never said I did!”

Alya let out a little huff. “So you’re telling me Adrien’s new secret soulmate has nothing to do with you acting all mysterious and elusive lately?”

“No! I mean—yes!”

“Okay. Tell me why you’re acting weird and I’ll leave you alone.”

“I ...” Marinette bit her lip.

“Yep. That’s what I thought,” Alya said coolly.

Nino stepped forward. “Looks like they’re not gonna crack, babe. Maybe we should give it a rest. If Marinette and Adrien want some privacy, then—”

“Wait! I can prove it.” Alya pulled out her phone, thumbs flying across the screen.

“What are you doing?” Marinette asked nervously.

“Calling for backup.”

The backup turned out to be Max and Markov. Adrien didn’t know how they factored into all of this, but that just put him even more on edge.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Alya said. “I was hoping you could help us out with some calculations.”

Adrien shot Nino a questioning glance. Nino answered with a shrug.

“Certainly,” Max said. “Markov and I are always happy to assist.”

“Cool.” Alya’s eyes turned back to Adrien and Marinette, flashing under her glasses. “First of all, could you please tell us the statistical probability of having a soulmate?”

“About one in eighteen thousand,” Markov piped up. “Similar to the statistics for a rare genetic condition, like albinism.”

“Right. So how many people in Paris would have a soulmate?”

“Approximately one hundred and twenty,” Markov said.

Alya stepped closer. “And what are the chances that one of those one hundred and twenty people goes to Françoise Dupont?”

Max pulled out a calculator and tapped at it for a few seconds. “0.0056 percent.”

Another step closer. “That they’re in this class?”

More tapping. “0.00083 percent.”

Alya leaned down so she was at Adrien and Marinette’s eye level. Adrien swallowed, forcing himself to meet her gaze.

“So let’s say that, theoretically, against all odds, two people in our class had a soulmate.” Alya paused, narrowing her eyes. “What are the chances that they’re soulmates with each other?”

Adrien couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Marinette. She looked back at him, her brows slightly furrowed, lips parted. He tore his gaze away.

Max pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Let’s see,” he muttered. “Given that soulmate bonds are initiated by physical touch, and most skin-to-skin contact occurs between people who encounter each other frequently …”

He pulled out a notebook and scribbled down some equations, Markov hovering over his shoulder. After a few minutes, Max straightened.

“Approximately ninety-three percent.”

“Aha!” Alya stepped back and grinned. “The math doesn’t lie. You two are definitely soulmates.”

Adrien froze. Even Plagg, nestled in his inside pocket, was strangely still. He stared straight ahead, struggling to resist the overwhelming urge to look at Marinette. He could feel her eyes on him, her face blurred in the corner of his vision.

If he looked at her now, how could he keep himself from crumbling right in front of her? How on earth was he supposed to look into the eyes of the girl he loved and swear he wasn’t hers?

“Actually, even an extremely high probability doesn’t guarantee a result,” Max pointed out. “It merely describes the likelihood that it will occur.”

“Sure, sure,” Alya said. “But I think you forgot to account for the fact that Marinette is a terrible liar.”

Adrien risked a glance at Marinette. Her head was bowed, eyes glued to the floor. Slowly, she lifted her chin.

“If I’m such a terrible liar, then you should believe me when I say ...” She took a deep breath. “Adrien is not my soulmate.”

Alya frowned at her for a moment. Then she turned to Adrien. “Is she telling the truth? She’s really not your soulmate?”

Before Adrien could steel himself to lie, Marinette cut in.

“I do have a soulmate,” she said. “But it’s … not him. It’s someone else.”

“Who is it, then?” Alya asked.

A long pause. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?” Alya’s voice was hushed now. She sounded more hurt than angry.

Max cleared his throat. “We’d better get going, Markov. Mother is expecting us for lunch.” He picked up his bag and left the room. The door clicked shut behind him, echoing slightly in the otherwise empty room.

“Marinette, I don’t understand why you’re keeping this from me,” Alya said. “This is big news. I want to be happy for you, but you won’t even let me.”

“You can be happy for me!” Marinette said quickly. “I just … I just can’t give you any details.”

“But why? Adrien can’t tell because of his dad. I get that. But I thought you’d want to tell me everything. I thought …” Alya swallowed, her eyes filling with tears. Nino put an arm around her.

Adrien looked back at Marinette. She was looking at the floor. He didn’t have to touch her to know how she felt. He knew exactly what it was like to keep a secret like this.

He broke the silence carefully, like he was cracking an egg against the countertop, the way Marinette had taught him years ago. “I’m sure Marinette has a really good reason for not telling.”

Marinette lifted her head.

“Yeah? Like what?” Alya sniffled.

“It doesn’t really matter to me, honestly. We all know what kind of person Marinette is. If she says she has a reason, I believe her.”

Alya was quiet.

“You trust her, don’t you?” Adrien asked softly. He caught Marinette’s eye. “I do.”

She blinked back at him, eyes wide.

Alya was silent for another moment. Then she sighed. “Of course I do.” She stepped out of Nino’s arms. “I’ll always trust you, Marinette.”

Marinette jumped off the bench and tackled Alya in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Al. I wish I could tell you. I hate having to keep it a secret, especially from you.”

Alya squeezed Marinette back. “You’re my best friend. I’m always here for you, okay? No matter what.”

Adrien stood up. “I wish I could tell you too, Nino.”

Nino pulled him into a crushing hug. “I get it, man. This can’t be easy.” He pulled back. “Oh, yeah. And … sorry for spilling the beans about your soulmate. For future reference, you should know that Alya and I basically tell each other everything. We’re a package deal.”

Adrien smiled. “Yeah, I should’ve figured.”

Alya pulled away from Marinette, wiping at her eyes under her glasses. “We should eat before the break is over. Are you going home, M? Or do you want to grab a bite with us?”

“I’ll, um, catch up with you,” Marinette said. “I gotta do something first.”

Nino turned to Adrien. “You coming, dude?”

“Yeah. Gimme a second.”

“Alright. See ya.”

Adrien watched Nino and Alya go. The door closed behind them, leaving him and Marinette alone in the room. For a few seconds, they stood in silence.

“I don’t actually have something to do,” Marinette said. “I just … needed a second.”

“Me too,” Adrien said. He bent to sit but then jumped back up. “Oh, duh! You wanted to be alone. Of course. I’ll—”

“It’s okay,” Marinette said. “You can stay.”

She sank back onto the bench. Adrien hesitated, then followed suit. For a moment they just sat side by side, saying nothing. He was so close to her. But it wasn’t close enough. He wanted to press himself against her, wrap his arm around her shoulders, clasp her hand in his, whisper into her hair, “It’s me. I’m here.”

Instead, he sat as still as a wax statue, letting his empty hands hang between his knees.

“I didn’t know,” Marinette said. “That you had a soulmate.”

“Um, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I only told Nino.”

She brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “What are they like?”

He remembered how he’d described her to Ladybug—kind, smart, funny, beautiful—but now with her watching him, waiting for him to say it, none of it seemed like enough.

“She hums when she’s working,” he said finally. “She’s creative. Talented. She makes things. She does things—for her family, her friends—anyone, really. Because she cares about them. She goes out of her way to make people happy. She has the biggest heart. And she’s brave. She speaks up even when it’s scary. She does the right thing. And when she doesn’t, she fixes it. She’s brilliant. Bold. She can solve any problem she puts her mind to. She’s funny when she doesn’t try. But when she does try, she’s less funny, which somehow makes it more funny. She’s strong. And kind. And good. She’s …”

He met her eyes again—clear, soft, bright.

“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” he finished.

“Wow,” Marinette said. “She sounds like … an amazing girl.”

“She is. And I could never in a million years deserve her.”

Surprise flashed across her face. Her brows flattened. “Hey. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re an amazing person, Adrien. Anyone would be lucky to be your soulmate.”

“Thanks.” He paused. “What about your soulmate?”

Marinette ran her thumb over the clasp of her bag. “He’s my best friend,” she said. “He tells the stupidest jokes, but they still make me laugh. He’s the worst cook. And the best listener. Sometimes I worry I’m annoying him with all my problems, but he’s so patient. He’s so kind. He has this ridiculous habit of acting all arrogant and macho but underneath it all, he’s actually so soft and sweet and modest. I wish more people knew that. I wish they’d see him the way I see him. But at the same time, I sort of want to keep him to myself. I’m just selfish, I guess. Because he’s so special. I don’t think he even realizes how special he is. He’s … he’s trustworthy. He’s loyal. I know he’d do anything for me. And I’d do anything for him. Because he has the prettiest smile, and he deserves to have things that make him smile. He’s my favorite person in the world. And I love him.”

Adrien stared. Marinette looked up at him with a soft smile, and he thought he might explode from how much he loved her. He struggled to come up with an appropriate response, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth he might do something stupid, like start crying or ask her to marry him or give himself away by cracking a bad joke about his cooking.

“He—he sounds okay, I guess,” he said finally.

Marinette laughed. “You know, that’s exactly the kind of thing he would say.”

“There’s no way he’s good enough for you,” Adrien said before he could stop himself. “But I hope he makes you happy.”

“He’s always good enough, even when he doesn’t feel it,” she said. “And yeah, he makes me happy.”

Adrien looked down at his shoes. “It’s pretty crazy, huh? Only a hundred and twenty people in Paris with a soulmate, and we happen to be two of them. I mean … how is that even possible?”

Marinette smiled. “Because we’re lucky,” she said.

 

---

 

When they said goodbye at the end of the day, he could already feel the hole inside him aching at the edges. He watched her through the car window as long as he could, until she was just a little speck on the sidewalk.

Because we’re lucky.

Was it really just good luck? That was Ladybug’s superpower, not his. In fact, if anything, his luck usually seemed to be bad. Maybe that just came with being Chat Noir. After all, he was meant to be Ladybug’s opposite.

But if there was anything he’d learned after being her partner for so long, it was that they had to work together. Creation and destruction were just two sides of the same coin. As amazing as Ladybug was all by herself, she still needed Chat Noir. They couldn’t exist apart. Like Nino had said, they were a package deal.

Just like him and Marinette. Tied together, through the good and the bad.

He reached into his pocket and grasped his Marinette lucky charm. They’d made it this far, hadn’t they?

They were the lucky ones, and they’d be okay.

Notes:

art by marikittynoir

thank you to those who have been keeping up with this fic! it means a lot to me! i'm usually more of a oneshot person and this fic is now officially the longest multichap i've ever attempted lol so the fact that i'm actually continuing to update a wip is kind of astounding to me hahaha
anyways your nice comments are great motivation 💜 bless

Chapter 9: [redacted]

Summary:

marinettedesigned

arent you just. sick of being sad
remember when we used to just clown

notchatnoir

ha
who says you cant clown and be sad at the same time

1 week ago

10:22

notchatnoir

kinda really wannaaaaa <spoiler>make out with you</spoiler>

marinettedesigned

lfdjasljksfkjlad CHAT

notchatnoir

wut

Is it so wrong for me to wanna smooch my girlfriend

marinettedesigned

ok that sounds so weird

notchatnoir

(on the lips)

(a lot)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

wait what’s weird

marinettedesigned

girlfriend

notchatnoir

?

marinettedesigned

i am your girlfriend

notchatnoir

yes i am aware

and im very glad, thank you❤️

marinettedesigned

i just mean it sounds weird for you to call me your girlfriend

Or to call myself your gf

sakdfjasljkf

notchatnoir

i know what you mean

I mean, you’re not just my gf

you’re my soulmate

marinettedesigned

that sounds even weirder 😩

like just...so freakng corny FLKDJFJ

notchatnoir

well

it’s true

marinettedesigned

I know

i guess it just feels weird cause...we never had to have a label before?

and labels didn’t matter because no one even knew we were friends

it was always just. you and me

Like a special secret just for us and no one else

notchatnoir

it still is

marinettedesigned

that’s true

tbh

I knda like that no one gets to know right now except us

notchatnoir

speak for urself

I wish i could shout it from the rooftops

MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG IS MY LITERAL SOUMATE

AND SHE LOVES ME

HA take that luka

marinettedesigned

jdflksflsf ??

what do you have against luka?

notchatnoir

i just wnat to make sure he knows you’re taken

by ME

marinettedesigned

you barely even know him lol havent you met briefly like 2 times total

notchatnoir

uh yeah i guess

marinettedesigned

plus we only dated for a little while

notchatnoir

yeah but he got to kiss you so many times and i don’t get to kiss you at all 😔

marinettedesigned

well

actually

notchatnoir

wait..

marinettedesigned

we never kissed

notchatnoir

SDFJKSFLD WHAT????

ARE YOU SERIOUS 😂😂😂

but you dated for like 4 months???

marinettedesigned

STOP I KNOW

but i mean it was never really that official??

notchatnoir

im losing my mind

marinettedesigned

SHUT UP

I just didn’t feel ready and he was really nice about it ok!!

notchatnoir

LSKDFJDLSKFJSJD

ok sorry i’ll stop

he’s a good guy im glad he didn’t pressure you

just. omg

marinettedesigned

😒

notchatnoir

wait wait wait

was our click your first kiss??

marinettedesigned

no of course not

well

Not exactly

notchatnoir

what is that supposed to mean

marinettedesigned

I...honestly don’t know how to explain

notchatnoir

Humor me

marinettedesigned

Uh

Well

tehcnicallY I have kissed….

someone

But i don’t know if it even counts

notchatnoir

lskdjfal?????

marinettedesigned

why are we even talking about this!!

notchatnoir

Im your best friend boyfriend soulmate youre legally obligated to tell me

marinettedesigned

😭please no

You really want to compare notes on previous romantic involvement??

notchatnoir

techincally the only notes we’ll be looking at are yours

mine are confidential

marinettedesigned

thats not fair!

notchatnoir

never said it was fair. but those are the rules

actually

hmm

maybe i can tell you without giving too much away

marinettedesigned

ok ?

notchatnoir

1. i diid have one girlfriend before and it didn’t end up working out but we did kiss

2. apparently ladybug and i have kissed like 5 times but i don’t remember any of it because of akumas lol

there. full disclosure

marinettedesigned

ok mine were also because of akumas and that’s why they don’t count

notchatnoir

who was it tho

marinettedesigned

nooooo

notchatnoir

come on, spillllll

marinettedesigned

NO

notchatnoir

may i remind u: we are soulmates

you’re really going to keep this from me??

marinettedesigned

i really dont wanna talk about it

notchatnoir

too bad. im invoking the ancient rite of soulmates:

tell me 👁👁

marinettedesigned

please, chat. im serious

i don’t want to talk about it

notchatnoir

oh

ok then

im sorry i pressured you

marinettedesigned

it’s ok

 

 

notchatnoir

...

hey marinette?

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

i love you

marinettedesigned

i know

notchatnoir

i’m glad you know

i hope you always know

marinettedesigned

wow i didnt expect response that i was just quoting star wars so i could annoy you by not saying it back lol

notchatnoir

you dont have to say it back

marinettedesigned

of course i’ll say it back

I love you, chat noir

and i miss you so much it hurts

notchatnoir

me too

im so sorry it has to be that way

marinettedesigned

please stop apologzing

this isnt your fault

notchatnoir

i just hate knowing that you’re hurting

marinettedesigned

well i’d rather be hurting with you than be with anyone else

besides, it’s not like it’s all pain!!

I still get to talk to you and hug you and think about you and hear your really bad jokes

It’s really not that different from before we clicked

notchatnoir

i guess not

no smooching then either 😔

except i didn’t know what i was missing back then

marinettedesigned

;;; they were very nice kisses

notchatnoir

i know it was just the one time but i miss it

i mean, not just the kissing (altho yes i miss that a lot lol)

i just miss you

like, feeling you there

marinettedesigned

same

notchatnoir

can i tell you a secret

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

im scared i’ll forget what you feel like

and i really don’t want to

marinettedesigned

i’ve thought about that too

i’d like to think that it’s ok if we forget

because we’ll remember when we can be finally together like normal

except

notchatnoir

what if...

marinettedesigned

yeah

ugh

i hate thinking about that

arent you just. sick of being sad

remember when we used to just clown

notchatnoir

ha

who says you cant clown and be sad at the same time

crying_clown_peacesign.jpg

^ selfie ✌️

marinettedesigned

sfldjsalkfjasdlfj

send me a real selfie 🥺

notchatnoir

?? i can’t??

marinettedesigned

well send me a pic of...idk, ur socks lol

(if ur wearing any)

(I dont wanna see ur gross feet 🤢)

notchatnoir

you dont wanna see my toenail polish? 🥺i just got them done

marinettedesigned

LKFJDSLKJFDS

I take it back i do wanna see

notchatnoir

NO. since u insulted my feet you dont get to see my pedicure !!1!!1

i actually am wearing socks tho lol

IMG_2891.jpg

marinettedesigned

HAHA

once a ladybug simp, always a ladybug simp huh

notchatnoir

u jealous

marinettedesigned

should i be

notchatnoir

im just being a supportive partner

marinettedesigned

how does wearing ladybug socks that she cant see help her feel supported

notchatnoir

ngl i own a lot of ladybug merch lol

marinettedesigned

but no marinette merch 😔

notchatnoir

open an etsy like i told u to, coward

then i’ll buy ALL the marinette merch

marinettedesigned

u can’t

my fine wares are far above your paygrade

notchatnoir

false

Im loaded, remember

paw-sitiviely rollin in dough

marinettedesigned

the only thing ur rolling in is delusion lol

notchatnoir

I have a very lucrative career actually

marinettedesigned

chat ur 17 what kind of career could u even have

notchatnoir

I could tell you but then i’d have to kill you

marinettedesigned

alrighthenkeepyoursecrets_frodo.png

what are you, a toenail polish model lmao

notchatnoir

,,,,,,,,,,,

hand model actually

marinettedesigned

nice

notchatnoir

yes. I do have very hands

marinettedesigned

very hands

notchatnoir

*very nice

marinettedesigned

wow. very hand. much finger. so palm

notchatnoir

sfjklda shut up

they’re really soft, i moisturize 💅

marinettedesigned

hmmm in that case i would like to maybe,,,,<spoiler>hold them 👉👈</spoiler>

notchatnoir

i wish 😔

marinettedesigned

maybe u wouldn’t like holding my hand tho...mine arent that soft

i’ve pricked myself with needles too many times haha

or burned myself on the ovens

notchatnoir

of course i would like holding your hand!!

in fact it would my favorite activity

i’d be like “hello, i am [redacted]. hobbies include being drop dead gorgeous, making everyone laugh with my a-mew-sing jokes, and holding marinette dupain-cheng’s beautiful perfect rough-as-sandpaper hand”

marinettedesigned

asjdklfs how do you manage to be so cute and so annoying at the same time

notchatnoir

it’s a gift 😌

hhhhh i just wanna

<spoiler>hold your hand with my hand until they get all sweaty and gross. because that’s how much I like you</spoiler>

oh and while im doing that I wanna

<spoiler>rub my thumb gently across the back of your hand. and play with your fingers. and kiss them one by one</spoiler>

marinettedesigned

<spoiler>I want you to wear shorts and a t shirt</spoiler>

<spoiler>so we can sit next to each other with our legs and arms touching while we are holding hands</spoiler>

notchatnoir

oh but what if I

<spoiler>pulled you into my lap so we could spoon and I would put my shin on top of your head and drape my arms over your shoulders.</spoiler> what then

*chin

marinettedesigned

JDKSKS SHIN

well that would be very sexy of you wouldn’t it

notchatnoir

i am sexy so everything i do is sexy

marinettedesigned

you know what would be really sexy

<spoiler>if I tenderly cradled your face in both of my hands and told you I loved you one thousand times</spoiler>

notchatnoir

only a thousand?

marinettedesigned

10 thousand

A million

notchatnoir

Now we’re talking

marinettedesigned

ugh i hate us we’re so cheesy

notchatnoir

I feel like we get a pass to be cheesy

being literal actual soulmates and all

marinettedesigned

ok well in that case i guess i can say that you’re the love of my life and i like your squishy cheeks and your bouncy hair and your soft lips and i would very much like to kiss them again

notchatnoir

🥺❤️

marinettedesigned

there

outcheese me

notchatnoir

You’re challenging ME to a cheese-off??

u know my kwami is obsessed with cheese right

marinettedesigned

do ur worst

marinettedesigned

ok how are you STILL typing sdlfkasjf

It’s been like 15 mins??

marinettedesigned

chat are you still there

notchatnoir

ok sorry that im probably crap at love letters haha but here goes nothing

dear marinette,

i love everything about you. i love your smart brain and your big heart and your sandpaper hands (which i know for a fact are much softer than you think because you touched my face a lot the night we clicked lol and just trust me, they are very soft and also very warm and i’ve never stopped thinking about them for a single second)

i love you because you’re a good person. the best. like if an alien came to earth and said “show us your best human and we will spare your lives” it would have to be you or we’d all be screwed. because you help random strangers on the metro. and you stay up late making gifts for your friends. and you stand up to bullies and you tell the truth when it’s scary and you notice the lonely people and make them feel like they belong

i love you for all those reasons but also because you say dumb things and get flustered when you try to backtrack. and because you can be surprisingly savage when you talk trash (which is highly entertaining lol). and because you get annoying and smug when you win at video games and because you’re scared of the X-files theme song and because your desk is always a disaster zone and bc you can never spell the word ‘occasionally’

idk, ig the real reason i love you is just that you’re you and that makes you impossible not to love. i think about you all the time. sometimes i get distracted when i’m supposed to be working because i can’t stop remembering how you bounce up and down when you’re excited or how you wave your hands around when you talk or how you scrunch up your nose when you’re thinking or how you make a little humming sound right before you fall asleep

or how you put your fingers on my lips and said you loved me, and it felt like pink roses. and when you kissed me, it felt like the sun.

i thought i knew what love was before, but i love you so much more than i thought was even possible. and all the time i wonder how i got lucky enough not just to be your friend, not just to be your soulmate, but to be the one you chose to love like pink roses and sunshine. i don’t know how or why but im humbled and grateful to get to call myself yours, even if it’s just to myself right now

i guess what i’m trying to say is that you’re everything to me, marinette, and i cherish you with my whole heart

all my love,

your kitty

marinettedesigned

i

oh my gosh

i love you

cryingheartmeme.jpg

notchatnoir

❤️

marinettedesigned pinned a message to this channel

marinettedesigned

i thought it was going to be a joke???

chat you should’ve warned me

that’s the most beautiful thing i’ve ever read

i didn’t know you were capable of something like that

notchatnoir

haha thanks for doubting me

marinettedesigned

ack that’s not what i meant i just didn’t know you were a writer!!

notchatnoir

im not

but honestly it’s pretty easy to wax poetic when you’re thinking of marinette dupain-cheng ❤️

marinettedesigned

stop oh my gosh,,

im like sobbing i have literal tears in my eyes

look

IMG_2024.jpg

notchatnoir

haha you’re so cute with your eyes all red and puffy like that

marinettedesigned

shut up

notchatnoir

Im serious

you could never not be cute

it’s impawsible

marinettedesigned

wish u could send me a selfie too 🥺

you probably look a lot cuter than i do rn since im a blubbery mess

notchatnoir

are you kidding

i was crying so much when i wrote that message that my kwami buried himself in my laundry basket so he wouldnt have to listen

marinettedesigned

lskjdfasjfs

i like thinking about that

notchatnoir

what, my kwami being a turd? Lol

marinettedesigned

no

you

in your place

i wonder what it’s like there

notchatnoir

sad

lame

empty

bc you’re not here

marinettedesigned

what does it look like?

notchatnoir

Uhh well it’s bigger than yours

marinettedesigned

can u send a pic?

or like give me a video tour or something?

notchatnoir

im not sure that’s a good idea

I don’t know what’s in here that might give something away

marinettedesigned

right

sorry

Shouldnt have asked

notchatnoir

it’s ok

i’ll find something non-incriminating to send haha

IMG_1831.jpg

marinettedesigned

is that the lucky charm i made you? 🥺

notchatnoir

yeah

I keep it under my pillow at night

so i can always dream of you ❤️

marinettedesigned

Im trying to find it in myself to think that’s cheesy but tbh i just think it’s so sweet i might cry again

notchatnoir

tell my kwami that lol

he just made a gagging noise

marinettedesigned

ldfasfljsd he can deal with it

notchatnoir

man

i just wish i could do normal people things with you

Like buy you andre’s soulmate ice cream

And take you for the movies

marinettedesigned

well first of all we are actual soulmates so techicnslly any ice cream we eat is soulmate icecream

also

You know that theater at 12 rue gotlib?

notchatnoir

so like.......your house

marinettedesigned

Yep

I rented out the whole theater for us

Front row seats

notchatnoir

front row is the worst seat for a movie btw

marinettedesigned

whatever

not at this place

It comes with soft blankets

and free pastries

(That you better not get on the soft blankets bc im tired of sleeping with crumbs in my bed)

notchatnoir

sry

marinettedesigned

and guess what else

notchatnoir

what

marinettedesigned

my hand is available for holding

all night

there’s not even a waiting list

you get it all to yourself

notchatnoir

I’m sad that it won’t get sweaty but that still sounds very nice

marinettedesigned

well my hand might get sweaty

that leather gets hot if you’ve been holding it for a while

notchatnoir

it’s not leather

we’ve talked about this

marinettedesigned

Ok well then that ~*magical supersuit material*~ gets hot

notchatnoir

not for me

marinettedesigned

yes I know because it’s all magical for u

But for me it gets clammy

So my hand can sweat enough for both of us ok

notchatnoir

Good

what day did you rent the theater for

marinettedesigned

tomorrow?

notchatnoir

I can’t, I have a thing :(

marinettedesigned

oops I meant uhhh wednesday

notchatnoir

sounds purrfect

marinettedesigned

I’ll even let you be the little spoon

while you hold my sweaty hand

notchatnoir

deal <3

maybe I’ll bring some soulmate ice cream

(aka regular ice cream)

i hope it doesn’t melt on the way tho

marinettedesigned

i like my ice cream melty

notchatnoir

?? blasphemy

marinettedesigned

yee i like scooping the melty bits as i go C:

notchatnoir

that defeats the point of ice cream

a FROZEN treat

marinettedesigned

well i like mine to be a melty treat

notchatnoir

ok whatever i will have soulmate ice cream and you can have soulmate soup

marinettedesigned

sounds soup-er :)

notchatnoir

your puns dont make your ice cream consumption habits any less atrocious

marinettedesigned

Aw chat ur the sweetest :) you make me melt :)

notchatnoir

what’s happening why are you the one making bad jokes

that’s my job

marinettedesigned

how does it feel to be losing cone-trol

notchatnoir

u leave me no choice

i will assert my dominance by calling you a cute ice cream related pet name !!

....

im drawing blanks here

marinettedesigned

shame

notchatnoir

fine

since ice cream is not working out for me, i’ll just call u every other dessert i can think of

my little macaron

marinettedesigned

no

notchatnoir

my little creme brulee

my little crepe suzette

marinettedesigned

unsubscribe

notchatnoir

what’s the matter, my darling eclair

marinettedesigned

too cringe

notchatnoir

I disagree, my precious pain au chocolat

My beautiful souffle

marinettedesigned

hey chat

notchatnoir

yes, my sweetheart vol au vent for two?

marinettedesigned

𝓈𝒽𝓊𝓉 𝓊𝓅 <3

notchatnoir

𝓃𝑜 <3

marinettedesigned

well would you shut up if i told you that,,

<spoiler>i really wanna make out with you too 👀</spoiler>

notchatnoir

hnnnnnnnnnnng

brb gonna go defeat hawkmoth rn so we hurry up and smoosh our dessert holes together

marinettedesigned

wow, you make it sound so romantic

notchatnoir

we have already established that i am good at Roam Ants so i don’t have prove it to you every time

besides i think that is very romantic

like imagine lady and the tramp except it’s a churro instead of spaghetti

marinettedesigned

slkdfjLKFJS

not sure how well that would work

notchatnoir

it would. probably

worth a try

and if it doesn’t work out we can just,,, <spoiler>skip to the making out part 👀</spoiler>

marinettedesigned

aha yeah sounds like a plan

(omgsh i hate that this is making me blush so hard SLKDFNSF)

notchatnoir

ngl it pleases me that i have the power to make u blush 😌

marinettedesigned

shut up youre really cute you make me blush all the tiem

notchatnoir

now im blushing because you called me cute 👉👈

marinettedesigned

ur the cutest boy i know,,, with the prettiest smile,,,, and the red clown nose really brings out your eyes

notchatnoir

🥺🥺🥺

ugh i have to go to sleep

my kwami is mad at me for staying up lol

“turn off ur heart eyes i cant sleep ur so annoying”

marinettedesigned

aw but it’s only….01h30??

yikes ok we should go to bed

why do we always do this

notchatnoir

i dont regret it

talking to you is always worth it

marinettedesigned

<3

night, chat

i love you

notchatnoir

love you too

WAIT

marinettedesigned

what?

notchatnoir

i just realized I never told you u were pretty!!

in my letter

marinettedesigned

haha you don’t have to

you said so many other nice things I’m still emotional about it honestly

notchatnoir

no I need you to know

that I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world

and seeing your face makes me crazy

cause it’s just so pretty

marinettedesigned

stooop I already said I was blushing jdksksks

notchatnoir

i lose my mind when i get a look at the freckles on your nose they’re just so CUTE I don’t know what to do with myself

and your eyes are so pretty and kind

and your hair is shiny and I like how your bangs go swoosh when you shake your head

and you have squishy cheeks too and they’re so cute

ok that’s all you can sleep now

marinettedesigned

how can I sleep when you just said all these nice things

notchatnoir

well I guess you will just have to lie awake thinking of me 👀

marinettedesigned

this was your plan all along, huh

notchatnoir

is it working

marinettedesigned

yes

but I would’ve been thinking of you anyway

notchatnoir

I knew it

you have a crush on me

that’s embarrassing 😳

marinettedesigned

djsjksksks

i don’t have a crush on you

I’m crazy stupid in love with you

There’s a difference

notchatnoir

im having a heart attack omg

I know you’ve said it a bunch of times but every time you say I love you my soul like astral projects to a higher plane of existence

marinettedesigned

HDJDJS well in that case

i love you, chat noir

i love you, chat noir

i love you, chat noir

notchatnoir

AAAAAAAAA

i can’t wait to hear you say that with my real name

marinettedesigned

me too

hey chat

I think your eyes are pretty and kind too

but I bet your real eyes are even prettier

I bet they’re the prettiest eyes in the world

notchatnoir

second prettiest

after yours

marinettedesigned

🥺

im a sucker for green eyes tho

and I know yours are actually green because I’ve seen pictures of you when you were mister bug

notchatnoir

well I’m a sucker for blue eyes

for your eyes in particular

really I’m just a sucker for you

marinettedesigned

are you quoting the jonas brothers

notchatnoir

the Jonas brothers got that line from me actually

marinettedesigned

oh ok

is that why you’re so rich

the intellectual property rights

notchatnoir

I told you, I’m a model

marinettedesigned

hand model lol

notchatnoir

yes but I am hot enough to be a regular model don’t you think

marinettedesigned

yes

and also dumb enough

notchatnoir

omg am I a himbo ??

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

I’m honored 😌

marinettedesigned

ok we really should go to bed now

notchatnoir

ok

sweet dreams, my little lemon tart

marinettedesigned

good night, himbo

notchatnoir

your himbo

marinettedesigned

yep

notchatnoir

I’ll dream of you💜

marinettedesigned

I’ll dream of me too

notchatnoir

dhsjskks

marinettedesigned

😘

<spoiler>pretend that was on the lips lol</spoiler>

notchatnoir

if I'm thinking about your kisses I’ll never be able to sleep

marinettedesigned

that makes two of us

mwah

I really am leaving

notchatnoir

❤️

marinettedesigned

❤️

Chapter 10: umbrella

Summary:

“Chat Noir?” she dared. “Are you okay?”

His head whipped to the side. He glared at her over his shoulder with a look of hatred so strong that she felt goosebumps spring up on her arms underneath her suit.

 

No.

Notes:

sorry this update took so long!! i really struggled with this chapter and kept going out of my way to avoid working on it aslkdfjafl

huge thanks to kim and morgie for betaing!! you helped a TON. bless ✨

also shoutout to anna and abby bc yall are so nice to me 😭💜 ilu

ETA: check out my sister's amazing art of this chapter at the end! <3

There were a lot of numbers on Marinette’s mind.

Two million Parisians in direct danger.

Two times that Kim had been akumatized.

Half an hour and still no Chat Noir.

Beep beep.

Four minutes until she transformed back.

“Ladybug?”

And ninety-three percent.

A ninety-three percent chance that the boy in her arms was her soulmate.

As she sprinted across the rooftops, she tried not to notice his breath pooling against her cheek. His arms wrapped around her shoulders. His scent clouding her lungs like a foggy daydream.

It’s not him, she reminded herself firmly. It couldn’t be him.

“Ladybug?” Adrien asked again.

She jolted. “What?”

“I think we’re far enough away. You can put me down now.”

“Oh. Um, right.” She tossed out her yo-yo and hopped over the side of the roof, bringing them gently to the ground.

“You okay?” she asked as she set him on his feet.

He adjusted the blue scarf around his neck—the one she’d given him for his birthday years ago. “Yeah. Thanks for saving me.”

He smiled, and something inside her crumbled.

Because before it was Chat’s smile that she kept in her pocket, it was Adrien’s. Not the dazzling model smile that used to be plastered all over her bedroom walls. This smile. Genuine. Soft. Warm. Natural—not manufactured. Like cookies made from scratch. Or a handmade card.

Her heartbeat quickened, and it felt like betrayal. Why did it always feel so different with him on this side of the mask? When she was with him at school or with their friends things felt normal. She could just be his friend, the way she’d learned to be. But for some reason, this way, it was different. They didn’t cross paths often when she was Ladybug, but every time they did it felt like this: desperate, fragile, dangerous. Like if he looked close enough he would see right through her mask and know. Not just who she was, but what she felt for him.

Felt. Past tense. She didn’t love him like that. Not anymore.

Unless …

“You better go,” Adrien said, pointing to her beeping earrings.

She blinked. “I can’t just leave you here unprotected. What if Dark Cupid comes back?”

“Don’t worry about me. I know the drill. Get to safety, stay low, watch for the all clear.”

“Well …”

“Go,” he said. “I’m sure Chat Noir will catch up with you.”

Chat Noir.

She couldn’t keep herself from staring.

Green eyes. Blond hair. Round cheeks. And a soft smile. Like a gift, wrapped in brown paper and bound with string.

Ninety-three percent.

She shook her head. She’d already been over this with herself a thousand times since that day at school. Max himself had made it clear that the numbers weren’t absolute. It was crazy enough that she had a soulmate at all, let alone that it was Chat Noir. There was absolutely no way that on top of everything, Chat Noir would turn out to be Adrien Agreste.

In fact, she already knew that Adrien couldn’t be Chat Noir. She had too much evidence against it. Any similarities between them were either a coincidence or her own wishful thinking.

And she couldn’t wish like that. She couldn’t do that to Chat. She was just projecting her old crush onto him, and that wasn’t fair. Because if Chat wasn’t Adrien—and he wasn’t—then she was wishing he was someone else. And he deserved to be loved for himself, whoever he was.

Adrien’s face fell. “You … you don’t think he’s coming?”

“No—no, I do!” She shoved her messy thoughts away and tried to compose herself. “He’ll come.” A steadying breath. “He always comes.”

His smile was back in a heartbeat. It clung to the back of her mind as she swung away.

 

---

 

Several minutes later, freshly recharged, she was back in the city center. Dark Cupid hovered over the Louvre pyramid, his great wings beating at the air.

She crouched behind the equestrian statue of Louis IVX and peeked around its base. A purple butterfly mask appeared over Dark Cupid’s eyes. At least he was occupied for the moment. But she didn’t have much time. She had to make a plan.

There was a thump behind her. She knew it was him before she even turned around. She felt it in the way the tension drained from her body, the way her heartbeat found its rhythm, the way that vaguely uneasy corner of her mind went silent—like someone who’d left her bedroom door open just a crack had come back to close it.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said.

She let out a breath. “I’m glad you’re here, kitty.”

“Aw. Did you miss me?” He flashed her a gleaming grin.

You have no idea how much I always miss you.

She smiled back. “No more time to lose. Dark Cupid has already caused enough damage. Besides, I’d rather not get caught in that storm.” She glanced up at the sky, where gray clouds were gathering over the square.

“Meowch. You know cats hate getting wet.”

She tried (and failed) to suppress another smile. What a dork.

Chat reached for his baton. “Well, we’ve already taken him out once. Should be a piece of cake, right?”

“I wouldn’t say that. You know that every time someone is reakumatized, they come back more powerful than before. I’ve already had to use my power once, and I barely got away.”

“Right.” Chat peeked around the statue with her. “Do we know what his akumatized object is, at least? What did he have last time—a brooch or something, right?”

“Yeah. But he doesn’t have it this time.”

“Wait a second … what’s that on his wrist? That looks new.”

Marinette squinted. “Some kind of bracelet?”

“No—it’s a wristband!” Chat said. “With a little capsule on it. Like the one Syren had. Remember?”

“That’s right! She and Kim are dating. I bet they both have one.”

Chat grimaced. “From the looks of it, they may not be dating anymore.”

“Maybe they can work it out?” she said doubtfully. “Anyway, at least we know what we’re aiming for now. Nice work, kitty.”

“Why, thank you. I have been known to have a brain cell once or twice in my life.”

She grinned. “Now that we have a singular brain cell on our side, all we need is a bit of luck. Lucky charm!”

She tossed up her yo-yo, and a spotted object fell into her hands. It was a compact umbrella, small enough that she could probably have fit it inside her bag with Tikki if she weren’t transformed.

“Ha! Finally, a lucky charm that makes sense,” Chat said. “It’s about to rain and you get an umbrella. Cool.”

“I’m not sure it has anything to do with the rain.” She looked around, frowning. “But I’m not sure how else to use it yet.”

“Better figure it out soon. Dark Cupid’s on the move.” Chat pointed upward, where a dark shadow was sweeping across the sky.

“I need more time.” She slipped her left hand through the loop on the umbrella. “Right now I think our best move is to split up and try to take him by surprise. If you distract him from the front, you can cover me while I circle in from the back. Hopefully I’ll know how to use my lucky charm by then.”

“Got it. Try to stay dry, okay? Wouldn’t want you to get washed away, little bug.”

He left her with another grin before he took off. She felt him leave like a string pulled taut in her chest.

(How long until it snapped and then was gone?)

 

---

 

She waited just a minute or two before she took off in the direction Chat had gone. Thankfully, now that she was older, she had more time before she transformed back. But fifteen minutes still wasn’t much when it came to defeating supervillains—especially since they were getting more powerful as Hawkmoth’s powers grew.

She heard shouts echoing across the rooftops as she got closer.

“Missed me again!” Chat said. “Come on, is that all you’ve got?”

She landed on a roof just behind them. Dark Cupid’s back was to her. Chat glanced her way but didn’t miss a beat.

She held up the umbrella again, gazing around her for inspiration on what to do. But nothing stood out. Maybe she could use it to block Dark Cupid’s arrows? But then again, she already had her yo-yo shield for that, and it was bound to be more effective anyway. Maybe—

“Ladybug, watch out!”

Her head snapped up as a dark blur shot in front of her. Chat Noir collapsed onto the other side of the roof.

“Gotcha!” Dark Cupid let out a harsh laugh and lowered his bow. “Nab her earrings, will you, kitty cat? You can hand over both your miraculous when I get back. I’ve got other work to do.” He laughed again and soared away.

Marinette stood frozen, clutching her lucky charm in one hand and her yo-yo in the other.

Maybe the arrow had missed him. Or maybe he’d managed to bat it away with his baton.

Slowly, Chat got to his feet. He stood with his back to her, clutching his baton in his right hand.

“Chat Noir?” she dared. “Are you okay?”

His head whipped to the side. He glared at her over his shoulder with a look of hatred so strong that she felt goosebumps spring up on her arms underneath her suit.

No.

He turned to face her, twirling his baton idly. His magically blackened lips curled into a sneer.

“Shall we dance, milady?”

She flinched. Chat still called her that sometimes, but it wasn’t very often anymore. She had to admit that she missed hearing it. But not like this—twisted and bitter and dark, like a slow poison leaching through her bloodstream.

“This isn’t you, Chat Noir,” she said. “This isn’t really how you feel.”

“Oh, I assure you, Ladybug … it is.”

And then he attacked.

Great, Marinette thought as she dove into a roll. She jumped back to her feet and set her yo-yo spinning, trying to buy a little more time to think. Her plan had never been perfect, but now there were several extra complications that would make it nearly impossible to pull off.

1. She no longer had Chat Noir to cover her while she figured out her lucky charm.
2. In fact, instead of covering her, he was now trying to kill her. (Yikes.)
3. Since Dark Cupid’s powers were stronger than ever, Chat’s magically fueled hatred was stronger than ever.
4. Chat was a really good fighter even when he was distracting himself with puns and flirting, but now that he had been transformed into a hate-filled, single-minded fighting machine (still wielding the power of destruction), he was a lot more dangerous.
5. Chat Noir looked good in black lipstick.
6. Huh?
7. That wasn’t relevant.
8. (Even if it was true.)
9. He was so dorky and sweet—why would black lipstick even work for him??
10. It did, though.
11. Maybe … maybe he would let her put lipstick on him next time he came to visit.
12. Just. For science.
13. Wait, what was the plan again?

Black Lipstick Chat circled her, holding his baton aloft. “What’s the matter, bugaboo?” he crooned, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Running out of luck?”

Right. Evil Black Lipstick Chat.

Marinette bit her lip as she glanced down at the umbrella dangling from her wrist. She still had no idea how to use it.

As Chat dove for her again, she flipped over the side of the building and flung out her yo-yo in the direction Dark Cupid had gone. She’d have to catch up with him eventually if she was going to break that wristband.

Last time they’d beaten Dark Cupid, her lucky charm had been a candy apple. But that wouldn’t help her now. She couldn’t help but wish pointlessly that Chat—the real Chat—was there to fight beside her. How on earth was she supposed to win without him?

She needed to get him back. But she didn’t have that option. Not like before.

It had been so simple last time. She didn’t need to overthink it. Love trumps hate, kisses break spells—it had clicked in her fourteen-year-old mind so easily. Then it was just a matter of finding the opportunity. And when it came, that was simple too. Just lips to lips for a few seconds, and it was done.

It never occurred to her back then to consider why her plan had worked at all. Like a fairy tale. Like magic. If only true love’s kiss could break the spell, why did her kiss bring him back? She hadn’t loved Chat then, but it seemed the universe knew what he’d eventually come to mean to her.

(Everything. Absolutely everything.)

“You can’t run forever, Ladybug!” Evil Chat snarled. The dark pitch of his voice sent a shiver down her spine.

But he was right. At that very moment, more and more civilians were falling under Dark Cupid’s spell. She couldn’t just keep running.

And though a kiss would bring Chat back, she couldn’t do that this time. If she did, he’d know immediately that she was Marinette and then they’d both have to give up their miraculous—not to Hawkmoth, but to Master Fu.

She had to fight him. Alone.

She cast a glance over her shoulder. He glowered back, mask furrowed in contempt.

The lipstick didn’t look good after all, she decided.

By now, they were close enough to Dark Cupid that she could hear his laughter echoing off the buildings. She sucked in a breath and then twisted around, skidding to a stop on the roof. “Fine. I’ll stop running.”

“Finally. Now be a doll and hand over those earrings.”

The earrings gave a warning beep. She didn’t have much time left.

“If you want them, you’re going to have to come and take them.”

The black lips curved into a smile. “Gladly.”

He broke his baton neatly in two and pounced, forcing her to jump to the side. She threw out her yo-yo and just missed his ankle as he sprang to his feet. He struck at her with one baton, then the other, and she parried him with her shield.

“Hurry up, kitty cat!” Dark Cupid called down. “Get us those earrings!”

Chat growled as he charged for her again. She flipped over his head and then had to dive to the side again to avoid one of Dark Cupid’s arrows. The lucky charm still swung uselessly from her wrist. She cast a desperate glance around her. What was it for?

Nothing was working. Nothing made sense. She parried and dodged and waited for something to click, but it didn’t happen. Maybe this would be the one time her lucky charm failed her. Or, more accurately, that she failed the lucky charm. Maybe this would be the time she finally lost everything.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. She had to focus … focus … focus …

But the wind was picking up now, and Dark Cupid’s laughter was so loud, and his arrows were so fast, and Chat Noir’s lips were black and his eyes were cold and he was someone she didn’t recognize anymore. She couldn’t bear to look at him, because he looked at her like he wanted her to hurt and she hated that he was looking at her like that with Chat’s eyes—his beautiful, kind eyes …

An arrow whistled past her. She blocked two more with her yo-yo shield. There was no way she could get anywhere near Dark Cupid’s wristband like this. Maybe if she led Chat off somewhere and lost him, she could loop back around and face Dark Cupid one on one.

She glanced down. The gap between buildings should provide temporary cover. It was her only chance now.

Still spinning her yo-yo shield over her head, she dropped down into the alley, ignoring the warning beep of her miraculous. She heard Dark Cupid shout indistinctly over the wind, and then Chat Noir landed in a catlike crouch in front of her.

“Game’s over, milady.” This time there was no sign of taunting in his voice. It was cold. Flat.

She shuddered as he drew himself up to his full height. For a second, he just gazed at her, icy flames licking up through frozen ash. And then he lunged.

She dropped down, sliding through the gap in his legs, and managed to catch her yo-yo on his ankle. As he fell, he twisted around to swipe his baton at her with his other hand. He caught her in the chest and she stumbled backward, still holding tight to the yo-yo string. He tugged as she recovered, but she planted her feet and braced herself against the alley wall.

He splayed a gloved hand against the stone.

“Cataclysm,” he spat.

The wall crumbled against her shoulder. She let out a cry as she fell back, losing her grip on the string. Chunks of stone rained down, but she couldn’t curl up to protect herself because Chat Noir was coming toward her now, batting away bits of stone with his baton.

Her hands desperately searched the ground for a yo-yo that wasn’t there. She tried to roll away as he grabbed for her, but she wasn’t quick enough. With one arm he pinned her down, trapping her legs with his knees while he stowed his baton on his back.

“I’ve got you now,” he growled.

He reached for her earring, and she managed to free her right arm just in time to snatch his wrist. He struggled to pull away, but she gritted her teeth and clung to him with all her might. With the rest of her trapped, it was the only thing she could do to protect her miraculous.

Her earrings beeped again. This was it. She had no moves left.

Almost as if on cue, the sky opened up, and rain began to fall.

Wait. Maybe she did have one more move.

The umbrella was still looped around her other wrist. Her arm was pinned, but she could move her fingers. If she could manage to pop open the umbrella, maybe it would startle Chat enough for her to free herself.

Her fingers fumbled as she tried to undo the snap on the wraparound strap.

“Let go!” Chat snarled.

He yanked his hand again, and now the rain was too slick on their suits to allow her to keep her grip. He reached for her earring just as her thumb found the button.

Pop!

The umbrella shot open. Chat ducked his head, but he still had her pinned. Her heart sank. It hadn’t worked.

Except that now his face was mere inches from hers.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Their miraculous were lost either way, but at least this might keep them out of Hawkmoth’s hands.

She lifted her head and pressed her lips to his.

Anger. Disgust. Hatred.

The force of it coursing through her almost shocked her into breaking contact. But with her free hand she found the back of his neck and pulled him closer, holding him there.

Come back to me, Chat. I need you.

His lips were stiff against hers. But after a moment, they parted slightly, and just like last time, he melted. Only this time, she could feel the ice finally thawing. Slowly, the hatred seeped away as the hint of something lovely and golden and bright grew on the horizon, like the sky gathering light before the sunrise.

It was Chat, she realized—the real Chat, coming back to her. She had to let go now, before he fully woke up. Maybe if she was quick enough, he wouldn’t remember.

His lips parted even more and he let out a warm breath as he pressed closer, capturing her bottom lip between his. He was kissing her back now and the dark was almost gone and any second now he’d be there again, for real, and she could feel him like she did before, and she’d be whole again for the first time since they’d clicked.

Her miraculous beeped again.

But she couldn’t let herself do that, as much as she wanted it.

A superhero listens to her head, not her heart.

It took everything in her to pull away. She gasped when she was left to herself again, with just her own muddled thoughts in her head. It made her ache to miss even the promise of him.

Chat Noir stared down at her, wide eyed and breathless. His lips were still painted black, his mess of blond hair now plastered to his forehead in wet clumps. He blinked and shook his head.

She waited with bated breath. Did he remember? Did he know?

A small, selfish part of her wished he would remember. Wished he’d look at her softly and whisper her name and then kiss her again, so deeply that she’d be lost in the touch of his soul against hers, in the movement of his lips and the warmth of his breath, submerged in him so fully that she could forget about rules and identities and the burden of millions of lives on their shoulders and she could just be—

“Milady?” he asked.

Her heart did a somersault at the sound of her old nickname—not cold and sarcastic this time, but gentle and warm, just how she remembered it. He eased off her, pulling her up by the hand to a sitting position.

She couldn’t help but stare. His lips were back to their normal color now, and his eyes were soft and bright. He was Chat again. Her Chat.

“You’re back,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m back,” he said quietly.

Before she could stop herself, she had launched herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest, low enough that she wouldn’t accidentally touch the bare skin of his cheek.

“You’re back,” she whispered again into his suit, voice breaking.

“You’re shaking.” His arms came around her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “What happened?”

All the breath squeezed from her lungs. He didn’t know. They were safe. It was okay.

(She tried to ignore the small, traitorous pool of disappointment in the bottom of her gut.)

She pulled back. “What do you remember?”

“I remember jumping in front of you. And then … nothing. Until now.” He took in the scene around them, his eyes widening. “Wait, did I do this? What—”

Her earrings beeped a final time. Without her even having to ask, he closed his eyes and turned his face away while the pink light of the transformation washed over her.

The rain was much colder without her suit. She shivered as fat drops peppered her clothes, making them cling to her.

Chat shifted beside her. With his eyes still squeezed shut, he reached out a hand to feel around the broken bits of stone.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

He found the discarded umbrella, still open, and lifted it over her head. “See? Told you this would come in handy. Why don’t you fill me in while you feed Tikki?”

Under the cover of the umbrella, she shifted to sit with her back pressed to his. The longing ache in her stomach grew stronger. It was strange to be this close to him outside the suit without him knowing it was her.

She fished a macaron out of her purse. Tikki placed a reassuring paw on her cheek before taking it.

“You got hit. You saved me.” Marinette’s voice quivered. “You know, I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”

“I have to. Or we couldn’t win.”

“We can’t win without you either!” It came out louder than she intended, echoing off the remaining alley walls.

The rain drummed on the umbrella. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t have a choice.”

She knew he was right, but the thought of losing him chilled her more than the rain. Impulsively, she shifted against him and reached out to grasp his free hand. “I’m just glad you’re back.”

His gloved fingers tightened around her bare ones. “But how am I back? How did you snap me out of it?”

“I, uh … I used my lucky charm!” That wasn’t a lie, technically.

“This?” He raised the umbrella higher. “I don’t understand how—”

“Sorry, no time to explain! Tikki’s done now and we’ve got to finish Dark Cupid before you turn back too. Ready?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. “Always, milady.”

 

---

 

With Chat back at her side, it didn’t take long to find Dark Cupid again and bring him down. Maybe her biggest mistake was separating from Chat in the first place. When they were together, they worked in almost perfect tandem. After years of fighting by his side, she knew him well enough to anticipate his decisions, to flow with his movements, to signal him with just a look or subtle gesture. He was always exactly where she needed him to be. So when she managed to catch Dark Cupid’s shooting arm with her yo-yo, Chat was right there to tear the bracelet from his wrist.

She stamped on the capsule with her foot, releasing the akuma. Chat was already standing beneath Kim to catch him when his wings disappeared. She tossed the umbrella in the air.

“Miraculous ladybug!”

As the magic rushed around them, repairing the damage, Chat Noir offered her their ritual fistbump.

She smiled. “Pound it.”

“Can we talk for a second?” he asked.

His ring beeped.

“No time,” she said quickly. “You’re about to transform back.”

“But—”

“I’m sorry, Chat. You know we can’t risk exposing our identities.” She swallowed. “To anyone.”

Even to our soulmates. Even to each other.

Chat’s shoulders drooped, raindrops rolling down his suit. “I know. I’d better go, then. See you later, Bug.”

She watched him go, feeling the string in her heart stretch tight.

She helped Kim find shelter from the rain and came back out to the street to head home. As she raised her yo-yo, a voice rang out.

“Ladybug! Wait!”

She spun around. It was Adrien, holding a black umbrella.

“Um, is something wrong?” she asked.

“No. I just …” He stepped closer to shield her from the rain. “You seemed kind of upset before, so I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Isn’t that my job?”

“Well, yeah, but even superheroes need someone to make sure they’re okay. Right?”

She stared up into his eyes. His lips were curved into a sad smile. And for some reason, she couldn’t hold it in.

“He did it again,” she whispered. “He took a hit for me.”

His gaze flickered down to the puddle at their feet. “I’m sure he was just trying to protect you.”

“I know. But I almost lost him, Adrien. I almost lost … everything.”

He was quiet, the thrumming of the rain on the umbrella the only sound between them.

“I know he does it to save me—to save everyone,” she went on, voice quaking. “But I’ve lost him in a hundred ways by now. I’ve watched him die, and disappear, and get trapped, or just lose himself, lose the things that make him Chat—and I don’t know if I can take it anymore. It’s scary. It’s so scary to watch someone you love just … vanish. Gone forever.”

“But it’s not forever,” Adrien said. “You always bring him back.”

“But what if this time I couldn’t? What if this time it really was forever?” She took a shaking breath. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I lost him. And I don’t think he’s ever truly understood how much I need him. How much we all need him.”

She looked back up at him, trying to regret the weakness she’d just laid at his feet, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel ashamed. Not with him.

Adrien put a hand on her shoulder. “He knows. I’m sure he knows. You’re partners, right?”

“Yeah.” She laughed weakly. “We have this dumb thing we always say to each other. ‘You and me against the world.’”

“It’s not dumb,” he said. “I think it’s perfect. If—if I were your partner, I know that would mean a lot to me. And I’m sure it means a lot to him.”

Her earrings beeped. She took a breath. “I have to go. But I just wanted to say … thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

For being a good person. For being a good friend. For helping me see. For helping me grow. For being the one I loved first, so I could love him better later.

She smiled. “For sharing your umbrella.”

She stepped back out into the rain, detaching her yo-yo from her hip.

“Goodbye, Ladybug,” he said.

“Goodbye, Adrien.”

When she reached the rain-slick rooftops, he was still standing alone in the street, waving under a black umbrella, wearing a blue scarf and a gentle smile. She waited till he turned and disappeared around the corner.

Goodbye, Adrien.

Notes:

art by marikittynoir

P.S. thanks to the APS folks who helped me figure out the lucky charm bit! 🙏 can you tell i usually avoid writing akuma battles like the plague aslfkjdasdf

Chapter 11: ground rules

Summary:

notchatnoir

so what do you mean by “ground rules"

marinettedesigned

I mean we have to make rules to keep your identity safe

notchatnoir

so like...a friendship contract?

marinettedesigned

Yeah i guess. if you wanna call it taht

Notes:

SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN LIKE 3 MONTHS AAAAA i hope you like the update 👉👈assuming anyone is still here saljadsf

2 years ago

17:41

This is the very beginning of your legendary conversation with notchatnoir.

notchatnoir changed the channel name: balcony party

notchatnoir

good evening, marinette

marinettedesigned

...why does that sound so ominous

notchatnoir changed the channel name: balcony party (ominous)

marinettedesigned

please don’t make me regret giving you my @ -_-

notchatnoir changed the channel name: a balcony party u definitely won’t regret (ominous)

marinettedesigned

sldkjfalskjdf

Ok but are we actually sure this is a good idea……..

notchatnoir

why not

afraid i have a better meme game than u? >:3

marinettedesigned

pfffft as if

i have a whole folder on my phone just for memes

my bff alya has the best ones so i always steal them from her lol

notchatnoir

yes. the ladyblogger™️. Im familiar

her meme game is very good but considering that her most popular memes on the blog are cat memes featuring ME wouldn’t you agree that *I* am the true meme star? 😎👉👉

marinettedesigned

no

you just make a lot of stupid faces that are very easy to meme

notchatnoir

thanks <3

marinettedesigned

that wasn’t a compliment

also you take the whole cat thing way too seriously

notchatnoir

aw shucks <3

marinettedesigned

Ok what im saying is that you ARE a meme

like one big stupid walking cat meme

I am NOT saying that you have strong meme game

There’s a difference

notchatnoir

all i’m hearing is “ur so funny chat noir!! everyone loves you and has dozens of photos of you saved on their phone to share with their friends and make them smile !!!” :3

marinettedesigned

oml you’re so obnoxious

notchatnoir

did u mean PAWbnoxious 😎👉👉

marinettedesigned

See you’re just proving my point

notchatnoir

I may be obnoxious but be honest... u think im cute 😌

marinettedesigned

False

notchatnoir

how many chat noir memes do you ahve saved on your phone at this very moment

marinettedesigned

……..

notchatnoir

that’s what i thought

marinettedesigned

That doesn’t mean anything

notchatnoir

Why would you have no fewer than 127 photos of me on your phone if you didn’t think i was cute

marinettedesigned

Ok i have nowhere near that many

Maybe like. 15. If even

notchatnoir

Still….15 pictures of a dashing young superhero….hmm….

marinettedesigned

I also have 15 pictures of hamsters on there but that doesnt

Wait

Ok that’s not a good example

I do think hamsters are cute, that’s why i have those pics alksfjds

notchatnoir

Omg i love hamsters they’re adorable

marinettedesigned

Right??

LOOK AT THIS ONE IT’S EATING A TINY BURRITO

lilhammy.jpg

notchatnoir

AAAAA THAT’S SO CUTE IM DYING 💖💖💖💖

marinettedesigned

I love them 😭 i’ve always wanted one

notchatnoir

Oh yeah i remember your dad mentioning that!

If ur parents know you want one so bad then why haven’t they gotten you one?

marinettedesigned

They say i wouldn’t be able to keep it alive :///

notchatnoir

… ok i see their point

marinettedesigned

What’s that supposed to mean!! You’re supposed to be on my side :((

notchatnoir

Well unfortunately i have seen the plants on your balcony

And they are a bit. uh.

crunchy

lol

marinettedesigned

Ok so MAYBE i forget to water them when im busy but that doesn’t mean i couldnt take care of a hamster!!!

notchatnoir

Well i hope one day you will prove all three of us wrong

BUT BACK TO THE ISSUE AT HAND

you distracted me with cute fluffy hamsters but you can’t make me forget the fact that you have no fewer than 58 photos of me on your phone because you think i’m cute

marinettedesigned

I said 15, not 58

And they’re not because i think you’re cute. They’re purely for memeing purposes

notchatnoir

ok fine

I guess you also have 15-58 pictures of that agreste model on your walls and you don’t think he’s cute

marinettedesigned

What?

I do think adrien’s cute haha

notchatnoir

wait

you do?

marinettedesigned

Uh yeah of course? Have you seen him?

notchatnoir

uh

ok

marinettedesigned

You’re really gonna look at actual teen model adrien agreste and tell me he’s not attractive?

notchatnoir

...i don’t know how to answer that

marinettedesigned

it’s ok, you can admit it

You use finger guns too much to be straight anyway lol

notchatnoir

what? No i dont

marinettedesigned

LMAO you’ve used them at least twice in this conversation already

scroll up

notchatnoir

That doesn’t mean anything!

marinettedesigned

classic chaotic bi energy 😎👉👉

notchatnoir

You know i’m in love with ladybug!!!

marinettedesigned

Yes but that doesn’t mean you can’t think adrien is cute

notchatnoir

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON ADRIEN AGRESTE

marinettedesigned

That’s not what i said. I said you thought he was cute

notchatnoir

Hang on

do YOU have a crush on adrien???

u said those photos were for fashion purposes ??

marinettedesigned

they are!!

notchatnoir

But you think he’s cute..

marinettedesigned

well yeah i have eyes dont i ahahahaha

notchatnoir

im confused

so... you don’t have a crush on him?

marinettedesigned

Hahahahhaa what would make you think that ??

notchatnoir

that you do have a crush on him or that you dont?

marinettedesigned

both!

or

neither!

Hahaha

notchatnoir

Im...so lost

marinettedesigned

well it doesn’t matter anyway haha adrien is a good friend and whether i find him cute is irrelevant

notchatnoir

I feel like it would be kind of relevant to him...

marinettedesigned

Yes well you are not him so it is irrelevant to this conversation

notchatnoir

right...

Ok but to be clear~

you think adrien is cute…

but you don’t think im cute

marinettedesigned

i didn’t say that

notchatnoir

yes u did

Literally you said both of those things

marinettedesigned

ok WELL i don’t *not* think you’re maybe a little cute

theoretically.

notchatnoir

wait so you DO think im cute? 👀

marinettedesigned

..maybe

in a purely platonic, aesthetic way

But i mean the cat ears ruin it

notchatnoir

that’s not true. they’re cute too

marinettedesigned

ok fine the ears are cute

Sometimes they twitch a little and im like 🥺

notchatnoir

HA

Well, i already knew you thought i was cute since you used to have a crush on me but thanks for confirming 😌

marinettedesigned

😒

i thought we agreed to not speak of that again

notchatnoir

Ok fine

You know, for the record, i think you are cute too

Like, as a friend

marinettedesigned

um, thanks. haha

notchatnoir

Also for the record, if you saw me without my mask you would be totally stunned by my beauty and that’s half the reason i have to wear it

marinettedesigned

PFFFT ok

notchatnoir

if my name were adrien would you think i was cuter

marinettedesigned

lol his name has nothing to do with his cuteness

Altho adrien is a really nice name

Doesn’t fit you tho

notchatnoir

Oh really?

What name do you think fits me then

marinettedesigned

um

Idk

Maybe like….

uh

sébastien?

notchatnoir

really? I always thought that name sounded lowkey dorky lol

marinettedesigned

Well you are dorky so it fits perfectly then

notchatnoir

>:O

how do you know that my name isn’t something really cool

like Raphael

marinettedesigned

No way

notchatnoir

or Michelangelo

marinettedesigned

?

notchatnoir

or Donatello

or Leonardo

marinettedesigned

Ok are you just naming the teenage mutant ninja turtles ?? HDJSKSK

notchatnoir

excuse me those are Renaissance artists, well respected for their craft!!!

marinettedesigned

Renaissance artists who wear bandana masks and have shells

And are literal turtles

notchatnoir

Ok fine yes they’re the ninja turtles

My best friend is a big fan lol

But I stand by what I said!!

That all of those names are cool and any one of them could be mine and you would never know

marinettedesigned

None of those are your name

notchatnoir

How can you be sure, princess

marinettedesigned

i just know

notchatnoir

ok then what other name fits me

marinettedesigned

uhh maybe Théo?

notchatnoir

like the copycat guy??? EW NO

marinettedesigned

uhhhh henri

notchatnoir

wow you think I’d have a generic name like that? do I really seem like an henri. where is the panache

marinettedesigned

André?

notchatnoir

Like the mayor? Or the ice cream guy?

now you’re just projecting

marinettedesigned

????? what's that supposed to mean lol

notchatnoir

you're trying to give me a grandpa name because you have a grandma name

marinettedesigned

SLKFJDSLJKFSJKLF HEY

notchatnoir

u might as well think I’m a Rolland

marinettedesigned

haha my grandpa’s name actually is rolland

notchatnoir

I know, I met him

he turned into a giant bread monster and tried to murder me

marinettedesigned

Oh yeah,,,sorry about that

notchatnoir

Man now that i think about it, a lot of your family members have tried to kill me lol

your grandma tried to turn me into stone

your uncle tried to cook me in a stew

your dad beat the crap out of me with his hairy wolf fists

marinettedesigned

........

notchatnoir

your mom seems to like me though :)

marinettedesigned

if u dont stop being obnoxious you're gonna have to add me to that list

notchatnoir

sure, grandma

marinettedesigned

LSJKFJD i hate u

notchatnoir

that’s not what you said before…….

i believe your exact words were (and i quote) “i’m in love with you” 😳😳😳😳

marinettedesigned

ok would you STOP bringing that up I told you It was just a little celebrity crush I’m over it !!!!!!!!!!

notchatnoir

but I’m still a celebrity

and I’m just as dashing as ever

marinettedesigned

no you’re not

once I got to know you I realized you’re just a dork in a cat suit

and then the spell was broken

notchatnoir

fair enough lol

marinettedesigned

what about claude

notchatnoir

you’re just trying to change the subject

also wtf...no lol

marinettedesigned

andwhataboutit.png

pierre

notchatnoir

NO

but u know even if u did guess my name i would have to say no anyway, right? lol

marinettedesigned

yea i know

benjamin

notchatnoir

ok now we’re talking. A name possibility that actually respects me. can neither confirm nor deny tho

marinettedesigned

Bryce

notchatnoir

what? that sounds English or American or something lol

marinettedesigned

nino

Ivan

max

kim

luka

notchatnoir

aren’t those just all your friends’ names haha

marinettedesigned

Yes i cant think of any off the top of my head lol

notchatnoir

no matter

since you don’t know my name you may simply call me Hey Gorgeous

marinettedesigned

…...i’ll stick with chat noir -_-

notchatnoir

either way

the mystery is part of my charm

marinettedesigned

you’re right about that

in fact i wish you were even more mysterious

so that i wouldn’t know about the 200 mangas you’ve read

notchatnoir

213 to be exact 😎👉👉

crap i did it again aslfkjd

marinettedesigned

HA

also I really don’t think that’s the flex u think it is

notchatnoir

but THIS is 💪💪💪💪

(u cant see me but im flexing my bounteous muscles)

marinettedesigned

what muscles lol

we all know that’s just the suit

notchatnoir

no it’s not

Im ripped

marinettedesigned

u are a noodle

notchatnoir

im buff as heck 😤

marinettedesigned

NOODLE

noodle boi

notchatnoir

stop body shaming me 😔

marinettedesigned

ok sorry

Very Strong noodle boi

Respectably Solid noodle boi

notchatnoir

ill-allow-it.jpg

see. I told u my meme game on POINT

marinettedesigned

wow, impressive

notchatnoir

thanks!

marinettedesigned

/sarcasm

notchatnoir

unthanks

marinettedesigned

what else is on your camera roll other than 1200 memes lol

let me guess...mirror selfies? -_-

wait. GYM selfies

MIRROR SELFIES AT THE GYM 🤢

notchatnoir

dont lie, i know you would very much like to see my mirror gym selfies

and get a load of these Respectably Solid noodle muscles

unFURtunately i dont have any lol

marinettedesigned

O rly

notchatnoir

Im actually not the gym type haha

I mean i exercise but thru like extracurriculars

marinettedesigned

so you’re a jock

notchatnoir

I mean….no i wouldn’t say that haha

I am too Cultured for that 😌

marinettedesigned

watching anime doesnt count as being cultured lol

notchatnoir

I’ll have you know that I am a man of many talents, princess

very accomplished

I have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages

marinettedesigned

d

did you just quote pride and prejudice

notchatnoir

Of course. Im not a neanderthal

marinettedesigned

this. is an unexpected development

notchatnoir

is it really that shocking to discover that i have Taste

marinettedesigned

I mean yeah kind of lol

notchatnoir

But why? What about me would tell you otherwise?

marinettedesigned

um like everything about you LKFJSDJF

notchatnoir

what’s that supposed to mean?

I am AFFRONTED

marinettedesigned

Idk i just wouldnt expect a guy who hangs around in a cat suti to have an appreciation for classic british literature

notchatnoir

on the contrary, my feline aesthetic brings an air of sophstiCATion

marinettedesigned

see now you just ruined any impression of sophistication you may have tricked me into believing you had

notchatnoir

by heavens, marinette, what a snob u are

objecting to poor chat noir because of his cat puns

the poor man cant help it

marinettedesigned

he absolutely CAN help it

notchatnoir

i beg to differ

to stop punning would be to stop the beating of mine own heart

marinettedesigned

You’re so melodramatic lmao

notchatnoir

all the world’s a stage, mademoiselle

hey we should watch pride andd prejudice sometime 👀

marinettedesigned

ooo yes!! It’s one of my favorites!

notchatnoir

same. I’ve read the book to it’s so good

marinettedesigned

ack i should try reading the book again

i tried a couple years ago but couldn’t really focus on it and i ended up trying to sewing a regency era dress instead sldkjfasjk

notchatnoir

oh? I’d love to see it👀

marinettedesigned

Noooo it was a disaster i never ended up finishing lol

It was too ambitious of a project for me at the time

notchatnoir

Oh well i bet you could pull it off now!

you are seriously so skilled and talented

marinettedesigned

aw thanks!

Yeah I have gotten a lot better at sewing since then

But ive got too much to work on rn to start a project like that

notchatnoir

too much work to hang out w your most sophistiCATed friend and enjoy a beautiful film adaptation of one of the greatest classic novels of all time? 🥺

marinettedesigned

no i will make time for that 😤

notchatnoir

YAY

french or english w subs? I have both

marinettedesigned

Oh i’ve only seen the french

Which one’s better?

notchatnoir

I mean i always like watching things in the original language w subtitles

It helps me learn too

marinettedesigned

wait... you speak english ???

notchatnoir

Well no, not really

just a bit

I have some family members who live in england tho and i’ve visited a few times

the language in P&P is too fancy for me to catch very well though haha

marinettedesigned

Wow, that’s really cool!

notchatnoir

/sarcasm ?

marinettedesigned

Haha no, i genuinely think that’s cool

I’m not that great with languages. My mom has been trying to teach me mandarin for ages and i do know some but ugh. It’s hard

notchatnoir

well, practice makes perfect, right?

I’m sure if you practiced more with your mom you would get the hang of it

You’re so smart, Marinette! I know you can do it

marinettedesigned

aw, ty

As obnoxious as you are you can be really sweet sometimes 🥺

Too bad you don’t also speak mandarin so i could practice with you

notchatnoir

Hehe yeah...too bad…….

marinettedesigned

Wait

Dont tell me you actually speak mandariin??????????

notchatnoir

well

uh

marinettedesigned

Actually stop REALLY dont tell me

You really shouldnt’ tell me anything about yourself

Keeping your identity a secret is important

You wear that mask for a reason you dumb cat 😭😭😭

notchatnoir

Ok “dumb cat”?? That’s not fair, I didn’t even say anything!

marinettedesigned

You basically did!! Oh my gosh

I knew this was a bad idea

see this is what i meant earlier!

before you distracted me with your stupid meme monologue

ugh. this is a disaster

notchatnoir

hey are you okay?

i promise it’s not that bad...all you know is that i may or may not know a little mandarin haha

that’s hardly enough to discover my identity

marinettedesigned

i mean that may not be much but if you keep dropping bits and pieces over time it might all add up and i’ll know more than should and maybe even figure out who you are and that CANT happen ok

notchatnoir

I know!

don’t worry, i am very aware of the importance of keeping my identity a secret

marinettedesigned

right,, im sorry, i just dont want to get either of us into trouble

notchatnoir

You won’t

marinettedesigned

you arent even a little bit worried? that us being friends is a bad idea?

notchatnoir

a little

I used to worry about it more

But honestly...it’s hard for me to think that being friends with someone like you could be a bad idea

You’re a good person, marinette. You’re kind and smart and honest

I trust you

marinettedesigned

Thank you

but no matter how trustworthy i am, i still shouldn’t know anything about you

notchatnoir

Ok well I purromise to be more careful from now on. I won’t tell you a single thing about me

I will forever remain the mysterious and debonair Chat Noir

u can only guess who is behind the mask

marinettedesigned

ok. that’s good.

Except it’s too late…

I already know who’s behind the mask

notchatnoir

you..

you do

marinettedesigned

A BIG FREAKING NERD

notchatnoir

SLFJKDSKLDJ

Ok how dare you speak of chat noir that way after all he does for this city. saving it every day. and looking fly af while he does it!!

chat noir is not a nerd. he is Cool 😤

marinettedesigned

why are you talking about yourself in the third person

notchatnoir

for dramatic effect

is it working

marinettedesigned

no

notchatnoir

Dang

marinettedesigned

it’s bold of you to say you’re not a nerd after bragging about your 200-whatever mangas tho lol

Ok listen if this is going to continue i think we need to set some ground rules

notchatnoir

uh if what is going to continue?

Our friendship?

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

ok well purrsonally i would very much like it to continue

marinettedesigned

same

notchatnoir

so what do you mean by “ground rules”

marinettedesigned

I mean we have to make rules to keep your identity safe

notchatnoir

so like...a friendship contract?

marinettedesigned

Yeah i guess. if you wanna call it taht

So for example...rule #1: no personally identifying information

like. your name, or your family’s names, or your friends’ names, or where you go to school, or where you live, or anything else that would hint too much about who you are

notchatnoir

ok, fair. I wouldnt tell you any of that anyway but it’s good to make that a rule i guess

What about other personal info...like, idk, my favorite color or something

marinettedesigned

I think that’s fine as long as you don’t feel like it hints too much at anything

I’m trusting you

notchatnoir

I know

(btw it’s orange)

marinettedesigned

What is?

notchatnoir

my fave color

marinettedesigned

oh! cool

mine’s pink

notchatnoir

shockedpikachu.png

marinettedesigned

sjdfkla

Ok ok

rule #2

we can’t tell anyone we’re friends

notchatnoir

Oh

um, well, yeah...i guess that’s probably best

marinettedesigned

i mean ofc they can know that we’re like acquaintance-friends but not like. friend-friends.

notchatnoir

..we’re friend-friends?

marinettedesigned

well...yeah

I thought so

Dont you?

notchatnoir

No, i do

I just wasnt sure if you did

But I hoped so

marinettedesigned

Heh well yeah. Me too

I just think it would be weird/hard to explain to people, you know?

notchatnoir

yeah i get that. i mean i couldn’t really talk about it as a civilian anyway without inviting weird questions that might give me away

marinettedesigned

I mean honestly *im* kind of confused about it haha

we worked together against an akuma one time. you’ve taken me to safety a few times. there was that one night you randomly dropped by my balcony

And then suddenly we were like. Actual friends? And it was totally normal for you to come over and hang out?

i feel like it doesn’t add up

notchatnoir

well when you list it all out like that it kind of seems like a lot right?

How many near-death experiences do two people need to go through together before they’re allowed to be friends lol

marinettedesigned

ok I guess you’re right. I just mean I feel like we skipped a step

Or like, 20 steps

Like we just went from basically strangers to good friends so fast

and it’s weird that it wasn’t weird

it shouldn’t have been this easy

notchatnoir

I get what you mean

But tbh I don’t really want to question it

we’re friends and that’s what matters right

marinettedesigned

yeah i guess so

notchatnoir

(you are skipping stuff tho ….cause there was also the time you said you were in love with me 😳😳😳😳)

marinettedesigned

listen I WILL block u

notchatnoir

you wouldn’t you’d miss me too much

marinettedesigned

my finger is hovering over the button

I won’t hesitate binch

notchatnoir

do it then

marinettedesigned

K

---

notchatnoir

MARINEEEEETTE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

wait that went thru???????

marinettedesigned

welcome back I guess

u little turd

notchatnoir

I CANT BELIEVE U ACTUALLY DID IT

I SENT U LIKE 82 MESSAGES

that was the worst five minutes of my life 😭

marinettedesigned

I hope you’ve learned your lesson

notchatnoir

Yes yes I will be a good kitty now

marinettedesigned

Ok, if you’re going to BEHAVE, we can proceed with the contract

notchatnoir

Yes your honor

marinettedesigned

rule #3

You can’t detransform while you’re here

notchatnoir

?? why would i even do that??

marinettedesigned

Idk

im just covering bases

notchatnoir

Ok fine that one’s a no-brainer anyway

Can i suggest one

marinettedesigned

Of course, this is a collaborative effort

notchatnoir

rule #4

you have to check in after every akuma attack

marinettedesigned

What does that have to do with protecting your identity

notchatnoir

It’s not to protect my identity it’s to protect my peace of mind

i just want to know my friend is ok after a supervillain attacks the city

is that so wrong

marinettedesigned

Well the magic ladybugs will fix it all anyway

so you dont need to worry

notchatnoir

I know that but im going to worry anyway so i would just like to know you’re safe ok

marinettedesigned

Ok fne i’ll message you

But you wont see it till you transform back

notchatnoir

It’ll stll make me feel better

Ty

marinettedesigned

alright

rule #4?

notchatnoir

#5 actually

marinettedesigned

Oh lol ok rule #5 then

Um

uh

notchatnoir

we hang out at least once every other week

marinettedesigned

is that really like contractually necessary lol

u already come over here basically whenever u feel like it lol

Even if i have HOMEWORK

notchatnoir

Yes it’s necessary because i would like the assurance that you will make time for me

bc i am needy and clingy 💜

marinettedesigned

tell me about it lol

Ok fine

BUT

Rule #7 or whatever number we’re on

You have to help me study if you come over when i have hw

notchatnoir

#6

And of course... You know i have both brains and beauty 😌

marinettedesigned

Rule #7

U dial down the cockiness and general obnoxiousness by about 100 notches

notchatnoir

Rule #8

You have to be nice to me

marinettedesigned

what? I AM nice to you

notchatnoir

then tell me im a good kitty

marinettedesigned

You’re not. You’re a naughty kitty

you tangled up all my yarn

notchatnoir

I saidd i was sorry :(

marinettedesigned

Rule #9

keep ur dirty boots off my bed!!

notchatnoir

How am i supposed to do that? Your skylight is right above your bed

So if you want me to follow rule #whatever--keep our friendship a secret--then i have to come in thru the wndow and i cant avoid touching your bed

marinettedesigned

Unless you are confined to the balcony only...hmm…

notchatnoir

you would really keep a cute kitty out in the cold :(

marinettedesigned

It’s summer

notchatnoir

You would really keep a cute kitty out in the dark :(

marinettedesigned

you have night vision

notchatnoir

You would really keep a cute kitty out where he can’t play video games with you :(

marinettedesigned

Hmm...you make a good point

I do love beating you at ums 🤔

notchatnoir

letmein_meme.jpg

marinettedesigned

Ok fine

but can’t you take your boots off before you come in

notchatnoir

no

they’re part of the suit

marinettedesigned

well yes they’re part of the suit but arent they removable?

notchatnoir

no

marinettedesigned

are you sure??

i mean ladybug’s suit is all one thing but yours has all this little pieces because you’re so Extra

so i feel like your boots could come off

notchatnoir

yes im sure

the only part thats removable is the tail

the rest is like magically stuck lol

even the zipper

marinettedesigned

OKAYYYYY we’re not gonna talk about your zipper so fine i accept that the boots have to stay on and make my blankets all gross 😩

notchatnoir

are you sure i even track dirt in or are you just unfairly accusing me

i mean i jump all over the city in that thing and i feel like it stays surprisingly clean lol

it’s a magic suit maybe it repels dirt

marinettedesigned

doubt

notchatnoir

is there actually dirt on your blankets

marinettedesigned

...ok not that i can see but i still dont like the idea of shoes on my bed

notchatnoir

im sorry, i really cant do anything about that

i’ll try to keep your whole room super clean and not leave messes anywhere!!

marinettedesigned

ok

good kitty

notchatnoir

:D :D :D

marinettedesigned

what rule are we on

notchatnoir

10

marinettedesigned

ok maybe after this that’s enough then

what should our final rule be

make it a good one

notchatnoir

rule #10: you have to laugh at all my jokes

marinettedesigned

……..

only the ones that are actually funny

notchatnoir

yeah like i said…..all my jokes

marinettedesigned

only like 6% of them are funny

notchatnoir

this is a violation of rule #8: please be nice to me

marinettedesigned

and you are violating rule #7: dont be annoying

notchatnoir

it appears we have reached an impasse

marinettedesigned

so it would seem

notchatnoir

well, for my part, i am willing to accept the contract as it has been outlined

in the spirit of cooperation and camaraderie

with the understanding that although lapses will inevitably occur, both parties will make a good-faith effort to uphold it

do we have an accord

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

very good

i propose that we draw up a physical contract and sign it in person

marinettedesigned

ok

notchatnoir

in blood

marinettedesigned

LKJFDSLKJD NO

notchatnoir

ok fine with regular ink

can i come over now then

marinettedesigned

sure

but you have to bring me a present

notchatnoir

Like what

marinettedesigned

idk like a cool rock or something

notchatnoir

ok I will find you the COOLEST rock in Paris!!!!

and that’s a pawmise

marinettedesigned

lol ok

side note: I cant believe you’ve made two different cat puns for the same word in the course of one conversation

notchatnoir

Yea im versatile like that

I like to keep it fresh

marinettedesigned

it’s not

the cat puns are Old

stale af

like three-day-old baguettes

notchatnoir

paw-lease

classics never die

marinettedesigned

trust me they’re dead sweetie

notchatnoir

wut sry cant hear u over the sound of how pawsome my cat jokes are :3

marinettedesigned

i changed my mind u cant come over anymore

notchatnoir

marineeeette noooo please 😭😭

Dont you want your cool rock??

marinettedesigned

ok fine yes i want it

 

---

 

21:53

marinettedesigned

hey are you still coming? I thought you’d be here like an hour ago

notchatnoir

I haven’t found a cool enough rock yet

marinettedesigned

LSKJDFDJKSF OML I WAS KIDDDING you don’t have to bring me a stupid rock!!

notchatnoir

it’s not stupid it’s cool!!

or it will be.

once it find it

marinettedesigned

dude forget the rock

it’s getting late so you wont be able to stay long anyway

i wrote up the contract so just get ur tail over here so we can sign it

notchatnoir

and then we will be officially friends-friends? :D

marinettedesigned

i mean we already were but sure lol

notchatnoir

OK IM OMW

im bringing you that rock next time tho

marinettedesigned

haha, ok

notchatnoir

see you soon!

marinettedesigned

see ya

Chapter 12: tell me something i don't know

Summary:

“Chat?” she breathed.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Notes:

what's up binches bet you didn't expect to see me for another 3 months well SURPRISE!!! lol
i can't promise updates will be this fast from now on but i will try to be more consistent 👉👈 hope u enjoy the chapter

UPDATE: Some lovely people did art of this chapter!! Check out the links at the end<33

This is what her smile was:

Waking up early on a Saturday morning. Sun streaming through the window. Lying in bed until the last sleep seeps away. Wind streaming through his hair, over his suit. Sitting on a rooftop high above the Paris streets to watch the quiet world awake.

Her smile was a pause. A perfect moment. A stolen fragment of time that he could live in forever and forget all the bad. Her smile made everything okay, even when it wasn’t.

He remembered her smile in every moment he had to catch his breath. It rose above all the turmoil in his head—photoshoots and Chinese lessons and homework and worries about Ladybug—and at the end of the day, he found himself chasing it over the rooftops, to the place that felt like home more than anywhere else.

She answered on the fourth knock. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel, the scent of her strawberry shampoo wafting up through the open skylight.

And there it was. Her smile.

He felt his whole body relax at the sight of it, like he was melting into the space between her breaths. The moonlight made her skin glow. A few drops of water clung to her collarbone, peeking out from beneath the collar of an oversized t-shirt. He felt a strange urge to reach out and wipe them away.

“Are you gonna come in, or are you gonna just stand there?” She laughed and moved away from the window. “Come on.”

He slipped in after her, careful not to touch her pillows with his shoes, and followed her down the steps. Her sketchbook lay open on the chaise.

“Were you designing?" he asked.

“Sorta.” She flipped the book shut and tucked the pencil into the spine.

“Don’t let me stop you. I’ll be quiet and let you concentrate.”

“I was just doodling. Killing time, really.”

“Aw, were you waiting around for me, princess?”

A couple months ago, she would’ve rolled her eyes and brushed him off. But this time she just smiled. “Of course.”

Something warm bloomed inside him, and he thought that if he tried hard enough, he could imprint the feeling of her smile on the inside of his chest.

She settled down and placed an extra pillow over her legs, patting it in invitation. He stretched across the chaise and laid his head in her lap.

“I missed you,” she said.

“I missed you too.”

She traced a finger slowly along the edge of his mask. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I miss you right now.”

He gazed up at her. Without her makeup, her eyes looked a little smaller than usual, and her skin was fresh and pink. He wanted to skim his thumb across the bare skin of her eyelids. Kiss each freckle on her nose. Press his forehead to hers and close his eyes and feel her soaking through him like sunlight.

“Me too,” he whispered back.

She offered another smile. “I’m glad you’re here, though.” She grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

“Wish I could still do that,” he said wistfully.

“Ha. Maybe I should put my mittens on next time. That would keep me from touching your face too. Your stupid, cute face with the soft, squishy cheeks.” She poked the cheek of his mask.

“What about my beautiful, luscious lips?” he asked.

“Yeah, those too.”

He grinned. “Thought so. They’re almost im-paw-sible to resist, aren’t they?”

She shook her head, lips tugged into a smile.

Adrien tilted his head upward. “It’s that easy? You’re not even a little bit tempted to smooch me?” He puckered his lips.

She laughed. “Of course I am. If I had my way I’d be kissing you stupid right now.”

“Oh?” He gazed up at her in challenge. “Then do it.”

She twisted her lips and scrunched her nose into that “Chat are you serious” face he’d come to love.

“Come on. Not even one little kiss for your kitty?” He pushed his bottom lip out into a pout.

Her eyes narrowed. He wasn’t even sure why he was asking when he knew she had to say no. Maybe it just made things feel more normal. (Or maybe he was half-hoping they’d both say “screw it” and break all the rules right then.)

But then she leaned forward, and he immediately panicked.

“Wait, no, I didn’t—

She pecked him on the bridge of the nose and pulled back with a grin.

“There. Consider yourself smooched.”

He blinked, then smiled. “Thank you.” He kissed his fingertips and touched them to her lips. “Consider yourself smooched too.”

She settled back into the chaise and went back to tracing the edge of his mask. Adrien closed his eyes and felt her fingers, feather light, through the magical fabric, skimming over his forehead, around his cheeks, across his nose, and around again.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he murmured.

She hummed. “I’m thinking about how in the movies, the click always happens during some dramatic, romantic moment. But ours happened because you were being annoying and I had to shove a cookie in your mouth to get you to shut up.” She flicked him on the nose.

“Hey!” He rubbed the spot through the mask. “You know, I could’ve choked on that cookie. That was a dangerous move.”

“Please. I’ve never met anyone with a talent like yours for swallowing pastries whole.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, thanks.”

“It wasn’t.”

He grinned up at her. “Are you saying our click wasn’t good enough for you? Do you wish we had one like in the movies? Maybe a kiss-in-the-rain click—that’s a good trope.”

“Nah. Our version was much more on brand for us. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.”

“Same.”

There was a pause, and then her fingers, trailing over his brow line, went still. “I wouldn’t give you up for anything.”

Her voice was quiet. Trembling.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I just … I hate that I don’t know you that well.”

“What do you mean?”

“I—I’m supposed to know you better than anyone. I’m supposed to know you as well as you know yourself.” She took a shaking breath. “I hate that of everyone in your life, I know you the least.”

“That’s not true.”

Her voice was a broken whisper. “But I don’t even know your name.”

He sat up and twisted around to face her. “You may not know a lot about me, but you know me the best. I promise.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” She bowed her head, towel askew.

“No, I’m not.”

Gently, he tilted up her chin. Her eyes were filled with tears, shining in the glow of the fairy lights.

“There’s no one I feel more comfortable with,” Adrien said. “No one who makes me feel more like me.”

She closed her eyes, and a tear trailed down her cheek. He cupped her face with one hand and smoothed the tear away with his thumb.

“Besides,” he went on, “you’re the only one who knows the most important thing about me.”

She opened her eyes. More tears clung to her dark lashes. “What’s that?”

He smiled. “That I’m yours.”

Her brows lifted, lips parting. He stroked her cheek again with his thumb.

“No one is home like you are, Marinette,” he whispered.

Another half beat, and then her lips curved into the smile he loved. She grasped the hand still cupping her cheek and pressed a kiss into his palm.

For a moment, they just stayed like that. Then he lowered his hand and opened his arms and she curled into him, burying her face in his chest. He could feel her trembling against him.

“I can almost feel you,” she said, voice muffled against his suit. “If I really focus, I … can remember. I can feel it. Almost.”

He tightened his arms around her and poured every ounce of love he had for her into the embrace. Like if he tried hard enough, he could push past all the barriers and make her feel it, make her understand.

She let out a breath, deep and slow, and nestled closer to him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and and tried to remember.

She’d been warm—as warm as she was in his arms right now, but on the inside. She’d tasted sun-golden and rosy-pink, like honey, like nectar, like strawberry champagne (not her lips, just her—a quiet explosion, like fireworks in slow motion).

She’d felt like waves lapping onto shore, like birdsong, like windchimes, like snowfall, like starlight. Like every beautiful thing in the universe, wrapped up in a package shaped like her.

Her shape … that was what he remembered most. Like his soul had been molded from clay to be her perfect fit.

“Chat?” she breathed.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

He pulled back to look at her. “What?”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she repeated. “About you.”

“Uh, like what?”

“Like … what’s the first letter of your name?”

He bit his lip. “Well …”

“Wait, sorry, you’re right. Rule number one.” She sighed. “It just … it really does kill me not to know your name.”

Adrien. I’m Adrien. It’s me, it’s me, it’s me.

He hesitated. “Well, what if I told you the first letter of my fifth name instead?”

Her brows shot up. “Your fifth name? How many names do you have?”

“… at least five.”

She laughed. “Fair enough. So what letter is it?”

“A.” (The fact that his first name also started with A was just a coincidence.)

Marinette blinked. She sat up, and her crooked towel hat finally came undone.

“Sorry,” Adrien said. “Did I knock it loose?”

“Don’t worry. My hair should be dry enough by now anyway.”

She stood up and pulled the towel off, draping it over the back of her desk chair. Then she walked over to her vanity table. When she came back, she was holding a pink hairbrush.

“Wait,” he said as she lifted the brush to her hair.

She paused.

“Um … would it be okay if I did that?” he asked.

“What? Brush my hair?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh! Um, okay.”

“I’ll be gentle,” he promised.

She smiled. “I know.”

She handed him the hairbrush, and he moved against the back of the chaise. She sat in front of him, her damp hair hanging down to her shoulder blades.

“Start at the bottom and work your way up to get the tangles out,” she said.

He brought the brush to the ends of her hair and tugged gently. For a while, it was the only sound between them.

“Marinette?” he said. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

She breathed out a laugh. “I’m not the one in a mask right now. You already know … well, pretty much everything.”

He gathered a section of her hair in his fingers and slowly ran the brush through it. “Please?”

“Hmm. Okay. Um, when I was in elementary school, I used to make hair bows out of duct tape.”

He chuckled. “I knew you had to be a baby fashion icon.”

“Yep. They were very in vogue. I used all sorts of colors and patterns. I even gave them away at school.”

“I bet they were the talk of Paris.”

“Of course. Chloé refused to take them, but I saw her wearing copycats all the time.”

Now that he thought about it, he remembered seeing Chloé wear them. He smiled. Even years before he’d met Marinette, her fingerprints were all around him.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in an MDC knockoff,” Adrien said. “I’d want the real thing.”

“Ha! I bet you’d look cute in them back then.”

“Duh. I’d look cute in them now.”

She laughed, and a burst of warmth shot through him. Making Marinette laugh always made him feel strangely proud.

“Wish I still had some,” she said. “I’d love to see that.”

“Well, if you ever wanna pick up old habits, I’d be happy to be your model. For a small fee.”

She turned back to smirk at him over her shoulder, brow raised. “Oh? What kind of fee? I thought you were loaded.”

“I am. But, sadly, I suffer from severe nose kiss deficiency.”

She flashed a grin and leaned back to press a kiss between his eyes.

“That one’s free, but I expect you to work if you want another one,” she said.

“What do you think I’m doing right now?” He turned her head back to the front and lifted the brush again.

“It’s your turn,” she said. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

He dragged the brush gently through her hair. “I am very good at walking in high heels.”

She snorted. “Come on, do a real one.”

“I am! After I got turned into Reflekta the first time and nearly broke my ankles, I decided to practice in case we ever had to face her again. And it paid off, ’cause she’s been reakumatized, like, six times. I can walk in them, run in them—I mean, I could probably do cartwheels in them.”

“Right …”

“What, you don’t believe me? Get a pair of your heels and I’ll show you.”

“Your feet are way bigger than mine! Besides, I don’t have any heels anyway.”

“Hmm. You know your own limits, then. That’s very wise.”

“Hey!”

“Am I wrong?”

“ … no. But where did you get heels to practice?”

“My closet, of course. I’m a fashionista.”

She laughed again. “Okay, if you say so. But I’m gonna cash in the receipt on that one at some point, so you better be ready.”

“I was born ready.”

For a moment, they were silent. He kept brushing her hair, silky and shiny in the light. Soon the tangles were all gone, but he didn’t want to stop yet.

He gathered her hair in one hand, his claws scratching gently against her neck. She shuddered.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I … it feels nice.”

He dragged the brush through the underside of her hair. “Your turn. Tell me something I don’t know.”

She didn’t answer for a moment. He kept brushing, listening to the steady sound of her breathing.

“I didn’t have many friends when I was a kid,” Marinette said finally.

His hands went still. “What? Weren’t most of your classmates the same ones you have now? Everyone loves you.”

“They didn’t use to. Well, I mean, they didn’t dislike me. Apart from Chloé, everyone was nice enough. They just … didn’t notice me much, I guess.”

He couldn’t imagine not noticing her. He thought back to the day they met, when she’d caught him with the chewing gum. He hadn’t even known her, but something about her made him almost desperate to prove that she’d gotten him wrong, that she could trust him, that they could be friends. He used to think that he just didn’t want one of his new classmates to hate him, but Marinette was never just anyone. She was special, even then.

“They were school friends, you know? That’s it,” Marinette went on. “Sometimes I saw them outside of school, at birthday parties or whatever, but that was stuff that everyone was invited to. There wasn’t anyone who was my friend, specifically.”

Adrien frowned. “Not even Headphones?” (That was the nickname he’d made up for Nino years ago, when he had to pretend he couldn’t remember her friends’ names.)

“Honestly, he was kind of a loner back then. He just listened to music and ignored everyone. Adrien really made him … come out of his shell.” She snorted.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing. Anyway, I always liked Nino—he was a good guy—but it wasn’t until he met Adrien that he actually seemed interested in having friends. I think he saw how lonely Adrien was and wanted to help. Like he was … protecting him. Taking care of him. He liked Adrien right away, even when the rest of us wouldn’t give him a chance.”

Adrien smiled at the memory of his first day at school. He’d have to message Nino later—they hadn’t talked in a couple days.

“I’m really glad Nino and Adrien became best friends,” Marinette said. “They’re some of my closest friends too now. Sometimes it’s crazy to think that I have such great friends now, when back then, I didn’t have anyone but my parents. It was … lonely. I think maybe that’s the reason I even made those hair bows. I just wanted people to like me.”

He could hear the melancholy in her voice, and his heart broke. It almost seemed cruel that the universe could ever let such a beautiful person be lonely.

For the millionth time he wished he could touch her and feel what she was feeling. He knew all too well the pain of a lonely childhood, but he wanted to feel it through Marinette’s eyes.

When she wasn’t sun-golden, what else could she taste of? Would her rage bite like acid? Would her fear burn like ice?

He wanted all of it. Not just her smile, but the parts she tried to hide away. Her bone-deep fatigue. Her soul-ragged worry. Her longing like an echo. Disappointment like a sinking stone.

What would her sorrow taste like, here, now? Even from here, his fingers in her hair, he thought he could imagine it.

It tasted like clementines, bittersweet.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “That must have been so hard.”

She let out a sigh. “I used to wish so hard that I could have a best friend like in the movies. Someone I could always sit by at lunch. And talk to on the phone for hours. And have sleepovers with on the weekends.”

“And then you met Alya,” Adrien said.

“Yeah. And then I met Alya.” He could picture her smile as she said it.

“We met on the first day of school, and it was like we became best friends overnight,” she said. “It almost seemed too good to be true. That’s the kind of thing I used to worry about back then. That if I did ever find a best friend, they’d get bored of me and leave. Or listen to Chloé and then turn on me. But … I was never afraid of that with Alya. I could just tell, from day one, that she was there to stay. And … I’m sorry—I’m rambling.”

Adrien swept back a few strands of hair that had fallen forward. “Don’t be sorry. I love listening to you talk.”

“You know, I wish I could go back in time and tell little Marinette that things will get better,” she said. “That someday, I’d have Alya, and Adrien, and Nino. But most of all … I’d tell her about you.”

Adrien lowered the hairbrush. “Oh? What would you tell her? That you found a stray and took him in?”

“No.” She shifted around to face him. “I’d tell her that someday she’ll have another best friend. Someone who’s there for her no matter what. Someone she loves so much that she doesn’t know how so much love could fit inside her. And it won’t matter that she doesn’t know his name. Because she knows his heart, and his heart is good, and his heart is hers.”

Adrien stared. She stared back, searching his gaze with her blue, blue eyes.

Sometimes, when he was with her, his mask felt almost weightless. Sometimes, he didn’t feel like Chat Noir at all. He just felt like Adrien in a suit.

She crawled forward and snuggled into his side, filling him up with a beautiful ache that tasted like oranges and salt.

He loved this girl so much. More than he ever thought was possible to love. He wanted to push her back onto her pillows and kiss her till his mind and lips went numb. He wanted to cut himself and bleed into her palms. He wanted to open his heart like a box and lay its contents at her feet. He wanted to breathe her in until her scent was tattooed on the insides of his lungs. He wanted to search the shelves of her soul and marvel at every hidden gem, every exquisite flaw.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she whispered.

He brought up a hand to stroke her hair.

“I didn’t have many friends growing up either,” he said. “Before I got my kwami, I was lonely all the time.”

“I never would’ve guessed that before. You’re so outgoing. You’re Chat Noir! I always assumed you had tons of friends. But now that I know you better, it kind of makes sense.”

“Why? Because now you know I’m a dorky loser?”

“No! No. Just because … I could sense it underneath, sometimes. That you were lonely.”

“Well, I wasn’t always Chat Noir,” Adrien said. “Actually, that’s what changed everything for me. Ladybug … she was one of my first real friends. Even when I didn’t really know how to be a good friend yet. Looking back, I can see how stupid I was sometimes. But she was so patient with me. She gave me so many chances. She made me feel like … like I was worth being patient for. She … she …”

Fresh memories of Ladybug blossomed in his mind. The way her voice broke when she whispered, “You’re back.” The way her body trembled in his arms. The way her breath shook as she stood under his umbrella, looking small and scared.

“What’s wrong?” Marinette asked.

Adrien swallowed. “I’m just worried about her, that’s all. She seemed upset after the last akuma attack. I can’t help feeling like there’s something she’s not telling me. Something that’s hurting her.”

Marinette stiffened. “Well,” she said slowly, “you had a close call, didn’t you? You took a hit.”

“I’ve taken lots of hits before. This was … different.”

She was quiet for a moment. “It can’t be easy to see someone you care about get turned like that. Especially when there’s no guarantee you’re going to get them back.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“I wouldn’t want to see you like that,” she whispered.

He squeezed her closer. “I’m glad you didn’t have to. I wouldn’t want that, either.”

“I hate to even think about it.” Her arms tightened around him. “Chat, I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I promise. I’m never gonna give you up.”

“You better not.”

“Never gonna let you down. Never gonna turn around and desert you.”

She froze. “Did you just … rickroll me? In person?”

He grinned as she sat up.

“How can you say ‘Never gonna let you down’ and let me down at the same time?” She smacked him lightly on the chest.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I mean, I’m a little sorry.”

A smile stole across her face. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to fight you right now.”

“Well, it is getting late,” he said. “Maybe you should head to bed.”

She yawned. “No, it’s okay. I think it was all that hair brushing. It made me sleepy.”

“Come on. You had a long day. You need to rest.”

“No, I don’t,” she said, but when he scooped her up in his arms and stood, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning away so their faces wouldn’t touch.

“If you try to carry me up the stairs like this, you’re just going to trip and kill us both,” she said.

“So basically, no more risk than you climbing the stairs on your own.”

“… fine.”

They made it up to the loft without injury (albeit pretty awkwardly), and he gently set her down on the bed. He held back the blankets while she settled in and then gave her a quick finger-kiss.

“Good night, princess.”

As he stood to open the skylight, she caught him by the wrist.

“No, don’t go. Please.”

He hesitated, then tucked himself under the blanket beside her. She immediately wrapped her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back. The minutes stretched on, and he listened to her breathing get slow and heavy, feeling her arms go slack around him, until he was almost sure she was asleep.

“I should go,” he whispered at last.

He half expected her not to answer, but she stirred faintly behind him.

“No … stay …”

Carefully, he twisted around to face her. “For how much longer?”

Her eyebrows lifted slightly, but her eyes didn’t open.

“Forever,” she murmured.

Her face was half buried in shadow, dark hair spread across the pillow. She looked so peaceful. Beautiful.

He knew he should leave (he had a photo shoot in the morning) but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her—this girl he loved so much it made him ache. A girl who loved him, like he’d never been loved before. Being loved was something special in and of itself, but being loved by her, sun-golden and rosy-pink … to Adrien, it was nothing short of a miracle.

Gently, he swept her her hair back. She didn’t move.

He found himself staring at her forehead. If he kissed it right then, what would she taste like, silent and sleeping? Maybe like the reflection of the moon shimmering on a lake. Or mountain mist suspended in the blue.

Or maybe it was already too late, and she would taste like nothing at all.

Cold dread spread through his bloodstream. Was it dead? Was it already gone?

Would it hurt, just to check?

He swallowed. She was fast asleep. She wouldn’t feel it. There wouldn’t be any risk to his identity.

He hesitated. His heart pounded so loudly in his chest that he was afraid it would wake her up. But he had to know if there was still hope.

Slowly, gently, he pressed his lips to her forehead.

Light. Warm, fluttering light. Like dust motes swirling in a sunbeam. Or golden leaves dancing in the breeze.

He’d grown so used to the ache in his chest that he’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be completely whole. But now the Marinette-shaped hole inside him was filled with her—drowsy and quiet but beautifully, stunningly alive.

Relief washed over him like a wave. He knew he shouldn’t linger, that he should pull away now, but she was there and he couldn’t bring himself to leave her. Not yet. He breathed her in like a blanket fresh from the laundry, committing the taste of her sleeping soul to his memory.

Someday, he thought, he would fall asleep with her taste in his lungs every night.

Someday, he would always be whole.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. He wished he could stay pressed against her soul all night, but he’d been reckless enough already, and even the few precious seconds he’d had felt wrongfully stolen. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to regret them. At least now he knew that there was hope for them. For now.

He didn’t notice the tears until they spilled over the edge of his mask and wet his skin. He blinked them away so he could see her better—face smooth and perfect in sleep.

“I love you, Marinette,” he whispered. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He fell asleep with their fingers tangled together and her memory warm in his chest.

Notes:

sorry, i have a lot of notes for this chapter lsjakfjsdlf

FIRST OFF!!! anna-scribbles, artbyknigit, and gwennavierre did beautiful art of this chapter AAAAAA 😭 check out their work HERE, HERE, and HERE !!! (and thank u guys,,,truly i am: weeping 😭😭)

Second: YAY we finally got to the title of the fic :') the line "tell me something i don't know" comes from the song "beige" by yoke lore. i feel like the vibes match their situation well and I think of it kind of as the theme song of the fic, haha

also big shoutout to (again) anna-scribbles and sha-nwa for coming up with the idea of the duct tape hair bows and letting me steal it for this fic! lol. see the original post here (ft. anna's amazing art 😌)

lastly, i stole the idea about adrien practicing walking in high heels from the fic "madame snare" by jettiebettie omg it's so good please read it! one of my favorite marichat fics <33

Chapter 13: different

Summary:

notchatnoir

i guess it just felt different with you

marinettedesigned

different how?

notchatnoir

idk...it’s hard to explain

Notes:

once again, thank you for your patience on the updates 🥺and thank you for the amazing response on the last chapter! i'm really grateful and humbled <3

also i really hope this chapter is not like incomprehensible and that the pacing is not weird and distracting lol i am sleep deprived and betaless this time so....apologies in advance hahaha

ETA: artbyknigit did some adorable art of this chapter!! see the endnotes for the link💜

2 days ago

19:41

marinettedesigned

tell me something i don’t know

notchatnoir

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -- .- .-. .. -. . - - .

marinettedesigned

?????

notchatnoir

i know morse code

marinettedesigned

….why

notchatnoir

idk, i was bored

marinettedesigned

so u just. decided to learn a secret code

nerd

notchatnoir

-... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- / .. .----. -- / -.-. ..- - .

marinettedesigned

actually nvm i take it back. that’s p cool

wait no i’m not taking back that ur a nerd

only the secret code language is cool

but you’re still a nerd

notchatnoir

.- -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .. -. / .-.. --- ...- . / .-- .. - .... / -- . .-.-.- / - .... .- - .----. ... / . -- -... .- .-. .-. .- ... ... .. -. --. .-.-.-

marinettedesigned

what did u say

notchatnoir

-.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - .... . / ... -- .- .-. - . ... - / .- -. -.. / .--. .-. . - - .. . ... - / --. .. .-. .-.. / .. -. / - .... . / .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. / .- -. -.. / .. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. ....

marinettedesigned

ok are you gonna do this for the rest of the night -_-

notchatnoir

no

- . .-.. .-.. / -- . / ... --- -- . - .... .. -. --. / .. / -.. --- -. .----. - / -.- -. --- .--

marinettedesigned

and he said “no”

you know, like a liar

notchatnoir

- . .-.. .-.. / -- . / ... --- -- . - .... .. -. --. / .. / -.. --- -. .----. - / -.- -. --- .--

marinettedesigned

WHAT ARE U SAYING

notchatnoir

“tell me something i don’t know”

duh

marinettedesigned

oh right, cause it was so obvious

notchatnoir

it was

marinettedesigned

whatever

ok

uh

do i have to go. i can never think of what to say lol

and i’d rather just hear about you

notchatnoir

too bad, my lovely pâte à choux

i want to hear about you

marinettedesigned

eauhghhhhhhhhhhh

notchatnoir

i’m the one who’s limited on what i can say so idk why you’re complaining

also you’re the one who came up with this game

marinettedesigned

yeah, yeah. i know

tell me something i don’t know

notchatnoir

nice try but that doesn’t count

marinettedesigned

rats

notchatnoir

come, come, princess. i eagerly await a further glimpse into your regal life

marinettedesigned

lol there is nothing regal about my life

it’s like. the opposite

one time i accidentally gave my crush a prescription for constipation pills 😭😭 instead of a love letter

notchatnoir

you were going to give him a love letter ???

marinettedesigned

alkfjdsljdkfs THAT’S the part of the story you find most shocking??

did. did you miss the constipation part

notchatnoir

i absolutely did not

your new nickname, now and forever, is Constipation Girl™️

marinettedesigned

kalsjdflksdj omg

you’re lucky i love you😤

notchatnoir

i know i am <33333

Constipation Girl🥰🥰🥰

marinettedesigned

i can’t even object

i played myself

notchatnoir

yes u did and that was very adorable of you

marinettedesigned

i literally hate you

notchatnoir

kinda getting mixed signals here :/

marinettedesigned

i said what i said

and i meant it

notchatnoir

if you love/hate me so much how come you’ve never given ME a prescription for constipation meds? 😔

marinettedesigned

i’ll be sure to give u one next time you come over

as a sign of my undying love for u

notchatnoir

maybe constipation can be our always 🥺

marinettedesigned

...

i hate it here

notchatnoir

btw who was the lucky Mr. Constipation

marinettedesigned

wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

notchatnoir

yes i would

that’s why i asked

marinettedesigned

why does it matter

it was a long time ago

notchatnoir

i just want to know who my competition was before i swept u off ur feet

marinettedesigned

ugH ok

i guess since we’re like. soulmates and all. i will tell u

notchatnoir

👀

marinettedesigned

it was adrien agreste

notchatnoir

i see.

marinettedesigned

what’s that supposed to mean 😩

notchatnoir

nothing. i just find this information interesting

marinettedesigned

stop making fun of me😩😩

notchatnoir

im not making fun of you

ok i mean, yes i was before. but now im not

marinettedesigned

yes u are!!! you think im pitiful for being in love with my friend or something

notchatnoir

……

marinette you know that i was in love with my friend for years, right

and then i fell in love with my other friend

aka

you

lol

marinettedesigned

yeaH i know it’s just that adriens a model and he’s rich and famous so it probably seems dumb and shallow that i was in love with him

and the fact that i had literally one trillion pictures of him on my wall does not help my case lsjkfasjd

but that wasn’t the reason, i swear!!

notchatnoir

i would never think that

i know you’re not shallow. and i know that adrien is your friend and you’re close

wait so those pictures werent actually for fashion purposes?

marinettedesigned

saljkdfdlk tbh im surprised you didn’t see thru me...if it was about the clothes why would i have so many closeups of his face LOL

and draw hearts on them and stuff hahaha

notchatnoir

u told me those were upside-down spades

marinettedesigned

yeah, i told adrien that too. i cant believe you both believed that lasjkfkslfjd

youre both so stupid i fell in love with such stupid boys wtf

notchatnoir

thank you. my stupidity is my best feature 😌💜

that agreste idiot has no excuses tho

marinettedesigned

LSFJDfJSLF don’t be mean to adrien

he can’t help that he’s stupid

notchatnoir

tbh it seems pretty stupid to make up bs about upside down spades too

marinettedesigned

well maybe all three of us are stupid

notchatnoir

what about ur other friends

ladyblogger and headphones

marinettedesigned

no they’re the only smart ones in the group

notchatnoir

that checks out

im glad someone in your friend group is smart

ladybug is also smart

marinettedesigned

if they’re the only smart ones, where does that leave us two :/

notchatnoir

not a brain cell in sight

just two clowns living in the moment

marinettedesigned

sjlfdasjfk

oml adrien must have really thought i was stupid tho 😭

notchatnoir

what? why would he?

marinettedesigned

bc i acted like a complete weirdo idiot every time i saw him

i could’ve even form coherent sentences around him

due to my crippling crush on him

notchatnoir

how come? he wasn’t that intimidating (was he??)

i always thought he seemed nice

marinettedesigned

no no no he is! he was always really sweet and understanding!

i just got SUPER nervous around him, ugh

notchatnoir

well you never seemed nervous around me ?

marinettedesigned

why would i be nervous around you

notchatnoir

idk, why were you nervous around adrien?

marinettedesigned

because i was in love with him

notchatnoir

you’re in love with me

marinettedesigned

yeah and ??

notchatnoir

and youre not nervous ?

marinettedesigned

well yeah bc this is totally different

notchatnoir

how

marinettedesigned

because! you’re not adrien!!

notchatnoir

ok..

why would being in love with adrien make you nervous around him but being in love with me doesnt?

marinettedesigned

he didn’t know i was in love with him

notchatnoir

so... you were only nervous because you didnt know whether he liked you back?

marinettedesigned

uh, i guess?

i feel like it was more than that but. yeah basically

notchatnoir

so why didn’t you just tell him?

marinettedesigned

uh BECAUSE??? it was terrifying and horrible??? sadljkfjsl

notchatnoir

i dont think it’s terrifying and horrible to tell someone you care about them

marinettedesigned

ok but it wouldn’t just be me saying i care about him as a friend

i’d be confessing to him. and like. asking him to love me back 😭

notchatnoir

well i get why it would be scary

but i guess i’ve just always preferred to be open about my feelings when i can

to me, the not knowing is the worse part

i’d rather get rejected than just wonder if i ever had a chance

that’s why i was so clear about my feelings about ladybug

marinettedesigned

how come you never told me, then?

until we clicked you never said it

notchatnoir

well

uh

you got me there, lol

i guess it just felt different with you

marinettedesigned

different how?

notchatnoir

idk...it’s hard to explain

marinettedesigned

you know

i actually did try to confess to adrien

like, SO many times

the constipation thing was one attempt of. many

sldkfjdasjf

notchatnoir

really?

marinettedesigned

yeah

i mean a lot of times i chickened out

but a lot of times it just went horribly wrong

sometimes it felt like the universe was trying to keep me from confessing

notchatnoir

aw, im sorry :(

marinettedesigned

dont be

it didn’t even matter anyway, in the end

cause he told me he was in love with someone else

notchatnoir

oh. right

marinettedesigned

more importantly, i have you now

and that’s all that matters

*you’re* all that matters

notchatnoir

adrien doesn’t matter to you anymore?

marinettedesigned

JLFSKDSJKLFDD of course he does, he’s one of my closest friends

i was just trying to be, like, romantic

considering the fact that i just rambled on to you about the boy i used to be in love with 😭😭

notchatnoir

it’s okay, i don’t mind

marinettedesigned

chat pls😩

u always get to be the romantic one

let me say something nice to you

to make up for babbling about my ex-crush for 27 hours aslkjdfajskl

notchatnoir

it’s fine

but i mean i wont object to you saying nice things to me 😌

marinettedesigned

ok ngl it seems a little weird that you don’t mind ?

doesn’t it make you uncomfortable?

notchatnoir

no

you know i was in love with ladybug. does that make u uncomfortable?

marinettedesigned

uh, no

notchatnoir

yeah, so me neither

we know that we love each other now, and that’s what’s important

but still, i know your past feelings were/are important to you and i like hearing you talk about things that are important to you

marinettedesigned

okay

im glad it didn’t make you uncomfortable

notchatnoir

dw

can i ask u something?

marinettedesigned

shoot

notchatnoir

do you think, if you’d fallen for me instead, it would’ve been the same thing?

marinettedesigned

what do you mean?

i did fall for you

notchatnoir

no, i mean, like, earlier

before the click

would you have gotten nervous around me too?

marinettedesigned

uh i don’t think so?

i mean, maybe a little

but since we were friends..

idk, it’s just different

notchatnoir

yeah i think i know what you mean

it always just felt. comfortable

even before we knew each other that well

marinettedesigned

yeah

i loved adrien from the very beginning, so i didn’t get the chance to get to know him as a friend beforehand

i just fell for him so fast, you know?

notchatnoir

you did?

marinettedesigned

yeah

it was like...well, not love at first sight i guess (i actually kind of hated him when we first met salkfjasfjlk it was all a misunderstanding tho)

but also yes? kind of?

like the first time i actually saw him. for real

notchatnoir

i get what you mean

that’s how it was for me too

i thought ladybug was pretty awesome the moment i met her

but there was this specific moment when it clicked for me

marinettedesigned

what moment was that?

notchatnoir

do you remember that speech she made to hawkmoth when we were fighting stoneheart? were u watching on tv or something?

marinettedesigned

uhh yeah of course

kinda big news when there are supervillains attacking your city for the first time, right? hahaha

notchatnoir

lol right

well, right before that, she was pretty down because she’d screwed up and didn’t capture the akuma like she was supposed to (which was totally not her fault because it was literally our first time and she didnt know better)

and she was like “i knew i wasn’t the right one for this job! :(”

she’s always taken failure really hard. i mean, lotta pressure being ladybug, right? haha

marinettedesigned

right

notchatnoir

anyway, i told her we would fix it together

and then that’s when she made the speech

she stood up to hawkmoth, right in front of everyone

and then she promised all of paris that she and i would protect them

and that’s when i knew

marinettedesigned

knew what?

notchatnoir

that i’d just fallen in love with her

whoever she was beneath the mask

and it wasn’t even because she was so smart and capable and strong

it was because i saw her when she wasn’t, you know? i saw her when she felt weak

and then i saw her choose to be brave even when she didn’t feel it. just because it was the right thing to do

and that just seemed like the kind of person you should fall in love with, you know?

marinettedesigned

wow

notchatnoir

did that make you uncomfortable haha

marinettedesigned

no, i think it’s really sweet

notchatnoir

so what happened with adrien?

like, what made you realize?

marinettedesigned

it was actually that same day. the second day of school

adrien’s first day

i caught him poking at some chewed-up gum on my seat

and i assumed he’d put it there to bully me bc he was chloe’s friend

notchatnoir

good old queen pee

marinettedesigned

sljkdfsadj that joke is so stupid why does it always makes me laugh

anyway

i was really mad at him and wanted nothing to do with him

then we bumped into each other after school

it was raining. he had an umbrella

i brushed him off and he almost left, but then he turned back

he told me he was just trying to take the gum off my seat

he said he’d never been to school before, never had friends, that it was all new to him

and then he gave me his umbrella

notchatnoir

and that was the moment?

marinettedesigned

yep

he held it out to me like he was offering me a peace offering or soemthing

i didn’t take it right away cause i was surprised

so he just stood there, waiting

with like the softest smile in the universe

even though i’d been so rude to him and didnt deserve it

notchatnoir

you didn’t know!

marinettedesigned

i know i know. but still

anyway, i realized i’d misjudged him

he wasn’t a snobby jerk like i’d thought. and he wasn’t the person i’d seen on the magazine covers

he was lonely. and he let me see that. when i barely knew him. it just seemed so...humble, i guess?

he was so gentle and sincere

and forgiving, most of all

when i treated him unfairly, he choose to respond in the kindest way possible

and like you said, isn’t that the kind of person you should fall in love with?

notchatnoir

i bet that was a really special moment for him too

one of his first ever friends, right?

marinettedesigned

yeah, i guess you’re right

notchatnoir

it’s kinda funny, huh?

that we both fell in love with different people on the same day

marinettedesigned

haha, yeah

and look at us now

you know, i think i fell in love with you for a lot of the same reasons, only slowly instead of all at once

notchatnoir

you mean it wasn’t my animal meow-gnetism

marinettedesigned

lmao not at all

it was like. these little moments

when you’d say something i didn’t expect. something really sweet

notchatnoir

you didn’t think i could be sweet??

marinettedesigned

asljkdfdjsfd no i mean

i knew you were a good person but

i didn’t know you could be so, like, sensitive?

soft

remember that night when you visited me for the very first time?

i think that was the first time i saw that

notchatnoir

yeah i remember

that was the night i told ladybug how i felt about her

and she turned me down

marinettedesigned

i’m sorry, chat

notchatnoir

why? i’m not

not anymore

i have you

and seeing you that night made the heartbreak easier to handle

marinettedesigned

same

notchatnoir

oh...so was adrien the person you were talking about?

marinettedesigned

yeah

notchatnoir

what did he do?

marinettedesigned

nothing. i mean, it wasn’t his fault. he couldn’t show up to get ice cream with us and i was bummed about it. and just bummed in general because one-sided pining really sucks sometimes, haha

notchatnoir

lol i have certainly felt that

marinettedesigned

i was really glad that you showed up

the surprise you made was so beautiful and you took me just to cheer me up

when YOU were feeling sad

and you barely even knew me then

it was really sweet

notchatnoir

im not even really sure why i showed up on your balcony haha

was that weird?

marinettedesigned

haha kind of

notchatnoir

i saw you there, and ….i dont really know

i just thought your company would be nice

you’ve always felt, like. safe

marinettedesigned

you make me feel safe too

notchatnoir

it’s kind of funny how back then i thought i was having such a terrible night

when really it was the beginning of the best thing that would ever happen to me

i mean, if ladybug had showed up, i never would’ve stopped by

and we never would’ve talked

and we probably would never have become friends

marinettedesigned

that’s really weird to think about

notchatnoir

yeah it is

so im glad that happened

marinettedesigned

me too

notchatnoir

man i feel so stupid for rejecting you now lol

in front of your PARENTS

like yikeS that’s still painful to think about lmao

marinettedesigned

salfkjadsfjl yeah it’s actually really funny, considering where we are now 😂

notchatnoir

yeaH lkjljk

wait WAIT

you DID act nervous around me

because u were in love with me

omg

marinettedesigned

uhhh that’s actually not the best example tbh

notchatnoir

why not??

marinettedesigned

ok well that confession wasn’t really like. a real confession

u just like surprised me out of nowhere and i panicked

notchatnoir

and your reaction to your panic was just to...declare your love to me

that seems normal

marinettedesigned

LKJFDLSKF I DONT KNOW, MY BRAIN MISFIRED

and i had kind of a celebrity crush on you so i spazzed

it really wasnt the same as my feelings for adrien at all

notchatnoir

ah ok

well, i cant really blame you

i am extremely dashing

marinettedesigned

not as dashing as u are annoying tho <33

notchatnoir

i think i am equal parts dashing and annoying

marinettedesigned

u think wrong

notchatnoir

wow then you have bad taste in soulmates. yikes

marinettedesigned

i have perfect taste in all things, thank u very much

notchatnoir

especially pink jeggings huh

marinettedesigned

JLSDFFSJDKL HEY

please i was 14 😭

i thought they were cute

notchatnoir

they were only cute bc you were wearing them

marinettedesigned

are you saying my butt is cute

notchatnoir

that’s exactly what im saying

u have a very cute butt

and when you’re excited u do this adorable little butt wiggle thing hahaha

marinettedesigned

….

i would like to talk about something else now

notchatnoir

ok let’s talk about my butt then

marinettedesigned

lakjsfjkas nO

notchatnoir

do u think my butt is cute too 👉👈

marinettedesigned

this isn’t what i meant by “pls change the subject”

notchatnoir

so

my butt isn’t cute? 😔

marinettedesigned

i

i didn’t say that

notchatnoir

say it

tell me i have a cute butt

marinettedesigned

fine

you have a cute butt

notchatnoir pinned a message to this channel

notchatnoir

😍🍑⥼✨

that’s u admiring my butt

marinettedesigned

why is there a grappling hook coming out of it

notchatnoir

that’s my belt tail

marinettedesigned

it actually kind of looks like you’re farting lmao

notchatnoir

well maybe if SOMEONE gave me the CONSTIPATION MEDS i need, i wouldnt be so gassy!!1!!!1

marinettedesigned

LKSFJSLKDSLJKFJSF

notchatnoir

btw are we there yet

marinettedesigned

??

notchatnoir

can we fart in front of each other

are we at that point

marinettedesigned

LKSJFSLDJF GROSS CHAT

notchatnoir

i think soulmates should be able to fart in front of each other

marinettedesigned

i think we should stop talking about this

notchatnoir

no secrets, no hiding

just total honesty

let it all out

marinettedesigned

im literally begging

notchatnoir

im just saying

if u ever need to fart while im around, u can <3

marinettedesigned

i will not be doing that

notchatnoir

🍑💨🥰

that’s you farting and me still loving you forever <3

marinettedesigned

🏃

that’s me running away from this conversation

notchatnoir

aw marinette u dont have to run away just bc u farted

it’s ok

marinettedesigned

KLJDLKJ

notchatnoir

🏃🏽

me running after u to tell you it’s ok that u farted

marinettedesigned

i cant believe im in love with you

notchatnoir

but you are

you’re telling me that my impeccable sense of humor is not one of the reasons you fell for me?

marinettedesigned

ok well dont tell anyone but

yes i do enjoy your clownery

notchatnoir

omgsh i cant believe you have trusted me with such an intimate secret

now i feel like a real soulmate

marinettedesigned

slkjfdsljf

i mean yeah, your humor is one of the things i love most about you

and your courage. and your kindness. and your patience

notchatnoir

lksdfjaslkdf stop, dont make me cry🥺

marinettedesigned

i will NOT stop

just shut up and let me love you ok

im just thinking about how, for adrien, there was this single moment when i fell in love

but for you, there was no big moment

notchatnoir

i mean personally i thought our click was pretty big but...lol

marinettedesigned

that wasn’t the moment i fell in love with you though

that’s just when i realized that i’d been in love for a long time

it almost seems a little sad that i can’t tell you the moment i fell in love with you

but at the same time, it’s not sad at all. because it wasn’t just one big moment. it was a thousand little moments

i think i just fell a little more in love with you every single time i saw you, without even noticing, until i was head over heels and didn’t know it

notchatnoir

im

sorry, i need a minute aslkfjd

marinettedesigned

did i make you cry

notchatnoir

nO (yes. a little)

you know, it was the exact same for me

except i do have a moment

not a big one, just a little one. idk if you’d even remember it

marinettedesigned

what was it?

notchatnoir

it was a really lowkey night

you were really tired because you’d just finished exams

and we were just chilling

i was watching you do some sketches

and then you sneezed

marinettedesigned

and then what

notchatnoir

and you said, “bless me”

marinettedesigned

wait

that was the entire moment?

me SNEEZING? slfjasdlkfd

notchatnoir

yeah haha

marinettedesigned

omg i think i remember that, didn’t you say “yes your highness”? 😂

notchatnoir

i mean yeah, ofc

i’d just received a royal command

marinettedesigned

i meant “excuse me” but i mixed it up bc i was tired

LFKJSF

why was that the moment 😭😭😭

can it be a different one

notchatnoir

nope

that was the one

i don’t even know why

there are so many others it could’ve been

like when you gave me my lucky charm

or when i saw you in the dress you made for that dance you went to with luka

or when you were sewing that jacket for jagged and you arranged the sequins on your desk into a little cat face

but for some reason...it was you sneezing. because...i don’t know, it felt important

marinettedesigned

my SNEEZE felt important??? what does that even mean 😭😂

notchatnoir

i cant really explain it

it was like, just, a sign of you existing. and i was there for it

and i liked existing in the same space as you

and i realized that i wanted to always exist in the same space as you. and see all of your sneezes

marinettedesigned

this is the weirdest thing you’ve ever saidd to me

but somehow one of the most romantic ????

notchatnoir

marinette, i love you

and your smile, and your butt, and your sneezes

and all the little things about you

marinettedesigned

🥺🥺🥺

notchatnoir

i think maybe from the first time i met you, you also seemed like the kind of person i should fall in love with

even if i didn’t until later

marinettedesigned

ugh

notchatnoir

ugh? 🥺

marinettedesigned

why do you always win at romance

notchatnoir

it’s not a competition lol

marinettedesigned

yeah but i still want to win ONE time

notchatnoir

you made me cry earlier remember

marinettedesigned

ok fine

that was very satisfying

notchatnoir

did i make u cry 👀

marinettedesigned

no but u made me bury my face in my pillow and scream several times

notchatnoir

in a good way? lol

marinettedesigned

yes bc i love u sm and i dont know what to ddo about it except scream

I can’t believe it took not just the click but also your confession to make me realize that i was in love with you 😭

if I’d realized sooner maybe we could’ve had more time

before the click

before

notchatnoir

before kisses become Banned?

marinettedesigned

yeah dhdjsmdm

ugh i wanna kiss you on the mouth so bad rn

notchatnoir

same

marinettedesigned

hey chat

i have to leave in a few minutes but

i just wanted to say smthg

notchatnoir

what

marinettedesigned

ok this is cheesy so dont make fun of me but

i think i also knew that you were the kind of person i should fall in love with

i think i knew that a long time ago

i think i fell for you with my eyes closed

but they’re wide open now

and i see you

notchatnoir

i want you to see me

i want you to know everything

marinettedesigned

me too

notchatnoir

i want you to know me, under the mask

no powers or pretenses

i want you to see me. for real. just me

marinettedesigned

i do. i do see you

notchatnoir

im so tired of secrets

i want to give you all of me. every single bit

marinettedesigned

i know. i want that too

notchatnoir

at least you don’t have to keep secrets from me

marinettedesigned

right

notchatnoir

i want to know everything about you

marinettedesigned

i want to tell you everything

notchatnoir

ok so tell me one more thing

before you have to go

marinettedesigned

ok

um

i hate tomatoes. lol

your turn

tell me something i don’t know

notchatnoir

Hmm

I can moonwalk

marinettedesigned

I already knew that

u moonwalk like every time my cell phone rings

notchatnoir

I can’t help it. the music moves me

marinettedesigned

it’s just one of the default ringtones but ok lol

that one doesn’t count so you still owe me one

notchatnoir

ok

i’ll tell you something nobody knows

marinettedesigned

not even ladybug?

notchatnoir

not even ladybug

marinettedesigned

it can’t be something that would tell me who you are tho!!

promise

notchatnoir

i can’t keep this a secret anymore

marinettedesigned

chat no

notchatnoir

it’s tearing me up inside

marinettedesigned

Chat, DONT

notchatnoir

i am

marinettedesigned

STOP

notchatnoir

<spoiler>constipated</spoiler>

marinettedesigned

FKJSDKLFJDSFLK

omg

i hate u

notchatnoir

i love you too

see you later, Constipation Girl 😘

marinettedesigned

slkdfslkfjSDFJKL

bye, kitty 💜

 

---

 

1 day ago

16:36

adrienagrestebrand

hey guys

we weren’t assigned partners for miss bustier’s project, right?

lahiffesbeats

nah she said we could pick our own this time

adrienagrestebrand

ok cool

do you wanna by my partner then nino

lahiffesbeats

actually i was hoping to be alya’s partner

u can be marinette’s partner tho?

@marinettedesigned sound good?

adrienagrestebrand

ahh um is there a particular reason you have to be alya’s partner?

lahiffesbeats

uh

no

i just want to work with her bc she’s my gf and she’s hella smart and i love her?

lol

adrienagrestebrand

right right ofc

but weren’t you partners with her last time?

lahiffesbeats

uh i don’t think so?

but it’s been a while since we’ve been able to pick our own partners anyway so

ladyblogger

> i just want to work with her bc she’s my gf and she’s hella smart and i love her?

@lahiffesbeats MWAH love u too babe

adrien is there a problem?

adrienagrestebrand

uh no why would you think that?

lahiffesbeats

ur acting a little weird tbh lol

ladyblogger

i mean if u really really wanna work w nino, i’ll give him up

lahiffesbeats

babe, that goes against everything rick astley stood for

ladyblogger

i know, it’s a tragedy

but i will do it just this once, for sunshine

if he explains what the problem is

adrienagrestebrand

i told you, there’s no problem!

ladyblogger

ok so you’re ok working with marinette instead of nino then?

it’s just that nino and i haven’t gotten to hang out much lately so we were really hoping we could do this project together

adrienagrestebrand

i understand

marinettedesigned

um, if there’s a reason you don’t wnat to work with me, adrien, i can find another partner

it’s ok

adrienagrestebrand

nonononono that’s not what i meant at all!

ladyblogger

soooo you’re good working with marinette then?

adrienagrestebrand

yes

marinettedesigned

are you sure? really, i can find another partner

adrienagrestebrand

no!

marinette, i would love to work with you

ladyblogger

ok cool, that’s settled then!

you can call dibs on nino for next time if you want

lahiffesbeats

wow i feel so popular lmao

ladyblogger

and i call dibs on marinette 😘

always a great time w my bestieeee <3

marinettedesigned

ily al 🥺

ladyblogger

love u too, girl

oh snap

i think we just got an akuma alert

i gotta go

lahiffesbeats

by ‘go’ i assume u mean ‘go directly to the source and put myself in direct danger just so i can post a video to my blog’

ladyblogger

yep

u know me so well❤️

lahiffesbeats

u know, usually when a supervillain shows up, a normal person runs and hides

ladyblogger

well i guess i am just too sexy for that

lahiffesbeats

cant argue with that logic

u are extremely sexy

ladyblogger

ok i really do have to go but hold that thought, i would love to hear more about how sexy i am

lahiffesbeats

the sexiest

so sexy that i want to kiss u softly and tell you how much i love and respect you

ladyblogger

babe that’s really sweet but we’re on main so maybe tone it down

lahiffesbeats

sjlfkd LMAO i forgot

i was too lost in ur eyes <3

all four of them <33

ladyblogger

we’re in a discord chat. you can’t even see me

lahiffesbeats

what, a guy is not allowed to stare at his sexy gf’s pfp??

ladyblogger

slKJFDaskjlf

stare all you want then. and you’re welcome for being such good eye candy 💁🏽♀️

lahiffesbeats

alyA omg we are on maiN you’re being embarrassing

wait i think adrien and marinette left 😂😂

that’s fair. lmao

ladyblogger

hahahha sorry guys, we’re disgusting i know

lahiffesbeats

i’m sure they’re just as disgusting with their soulmates

ladyblogger

yeah but not in front of us lol

lahiffesbeats

that’s only because of the Mysterious And Unknowable Circumstances surrounding them

u really think marinette and adrien would not be extra AF about their SOs if they were public lol

ladyblogger

ur right, they’d be worse than us 😂

lahiffesbeats

hey weren’t u gonna go track down the akuma

ladyblogger

nah

i found out it was just mr. pigeon again

lahiffesbeats

omg

why does hawkmoth keep akumatizing that guy

how many times has it been

ladyblogger

uhhhh i believe it’s been like uhhh 78 times now? 79?

lahiffesbeats

wtf. with that many akumatizations he should be the most powerful supervillain ever

but he’s still as lame as ever lol

ladyblogger

be nice, mr ramier’s sweet

lahiffesbeats

u gotta admit tho. he has issues 😂

ladyblogger

well at least this will be over quickly

oh hey look, ladybug’s got her lucky charm

aaaaand

yep. done

lahiffesbeats

that was easy

ladyblogger

poor chat noir. with those allergies. every time lol

lahiffesbeats

shame they didn’t need to call in rena rouge

she’s the sexiest hero

ladyblogger

im right here

lahiffesbeats

im allowed to recognize the objective attractiveness of other girls arent i

ladyblogger

well in that case i think carapace is the sexiest hero

lahiffesbeats

nah he's a dweeb

adrienagrestebrand

hey sorry, i had to go do something. did i miss anything?

ladyblogger

no, just me and nino flirting lol

adrienagrestebrand

um ok haha

marinettedesigned

sorry, i had to go to the bathroom

any updates?

ladyblogger

akuma battle is over

marinettedesigned

oh that was quick

ladyblogger

yeah LB and CN are getting very efficient at taking down mr pigeon hahaha

alright well everything’s settled for the group project right?

lahiffedbeats

yep

good luck, dudes

i gotta split

adrienagrestebrand

okay, bye bro💚

marinettedesigned

bye, nino!

ladyblogger

see ya, losers

im peacing out too ✌️

if u need anything w the project lmk

marinettedesigned

k, bye alya

 

---

17:13

marinettedesigned

hey, adrien

did you want to come over to my place to work on the project?

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, that would be great!

marinettedesigned

alright, i know your schedule is pretty busy

the project is due next tuesday

what day would work for you?

adrienagrestebrand

i’ve got stuff early tomorrow morning but i should be free right after school

marinettedesigned

great! that should work out perfectly

i’ve got a class rep meeting with mr. damocles at the end of the day but it should be done before class is out

we could just walk over together

adrienagrestebrand

sounds great!

oh and im sorry if i came off kind of awkwardly earlier haha

i promise i am very happy being your partner

marinettedesigned

no worries! im happy being your partner too :)

i’ve been meaning to ask you...how are things going with your soulmate?

your dad hasn’t found out yet, has he?

adrienagrestebrand

no, thank goodness

the secret is still safe

marinettedesigned

that’s a relief

i bet it’s hard, though

adrienagrestebrand

yeah. sometimes secrets are necessary but that doesn’t mean they’re fun to keep

marinettedesigned

i know what you mean

adrienagrestebrand

your soulmate is still a secret too, right?

marinettedesigned

yep

adrienagrestebrand

i’m sorry

i know that sucks

marinettedesigned

it’s definitely difficult

but it’s worth it

for him, anything is worth it

adrienagrestebrand

that’s sweet of you to say

marinettedesigned

well, im sure you’d say the same for your soulmate, right?

adrienagrestebrand

yeah

she makes everything better

im just glad that even though we have to hide from everyone else, we can be honest with each other

marinettedesigned

yeah

well, i really hope things get better

and that your dad comes around

adrienagrestebrand

you too

hang in there, okay?

marinettedesigned

thanks

but i’ll be fine

I have him

adrienagrestebrand

he’s really lucky to have you

marinettedesigned

i’m lucky to have him too

and you and your soulmate must be lucky to have each other, even if it’s hard right now

adrienagrestebrand

definitely

ah, Nathalie’s calling me

marinettedesigned

no prob

see you tomorrow!

adrienagrestebrand

thanks, marinette!

you’re the best

marinettedesigned

bye💜

Notes:

ok credit to taliax for the constipation joke in the spoiler at the end of the marichat section bc i had a different joke there but she suggested it and i had to change it so if you read it before and it's different now that's why alskdfjlJKF tali's brain is too huge go check out her work here she's one of my absolute fav fic authors <33

ETA: THANK U i love it🤧

Chapter 14: distance

Summary:

The space between them felt fragile, like the glass would shatter under her fingers with just a touch. But she wasn’t sure she had the courage to break it.

Notes:

thank you for your continued support and patience with the updates! 💜

ETA: rossivette made some lovely art of this chapter 🥺see the notes at the end

He sat a half-meter apart from her, like he had measured it.

Marinette fidgeted in her chair. It wasn’t like the distance was that much. It just felt a little … off.

She’d never thought about the instinctual, unspoken understanding of appropriate sitting distance before. She just knew, like everyone else, how far to sit from someone. A polite distance from a stranger. A comfortable distance from a friend. And hardly any distance at all from a romantic partner.

(Soulmates, it turned out, were a different story.)

“So.” She cleared her throat and turned to her notebook. “We’re supposed to do a research report on a shared passion, right?”

“Yep.”

His soft smile made her heart do a strange little flop. It wasn’t the perfect model smile that he presented to the press. But it wasn’t quite like the smile he saved for his friends, either. It felt real, but removed. Close but out of reach, like he was smiling at her from behind a glass wall.

“Okay. Then … what’s our shared passion?” she asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He gestured toward the various magazine clippings and sketches tacked to the walls.

“What, fashion?”

“Of course.”

“No …” She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so.”

Adrien’s eyebrows lifted. “What? But you love fashion.”

“Yeah, I love fashion. But do you?”

He blinked. “Of course I do.”

She searched his face. She’d spent so much time staring at it when she was 15 that she knew every bit of it—not just what was displayed on the billboards and magazine spreads, but all the little things that were normally hidden beneath layers of makeup and photo editing. The tiny mole on the left side of his nose. The slightly asymmetrical slope of his right eyelid. The faint shadows under his eyes from late-night study sessions and early-morning photoshoots. The worry creases between his eyebrows—visible, up close, even when the rest of his face was smooth.

She cocked her head. “Adrien, do you actually like modeling?”

He opened his mouth and shut it again. “No one’s ever asked me that before.”

“Well, I’m asking you now. Do you like it?”

The creases between his brows deepened as he frowned. “I mean, I know I’m good at it. Not to sound like I’m bragging or something! I just, you know, like, so I’ve been told—”

She smiled. “It’s okay. I know you’re good at it. One of the best. You’re very talented.”

“I wouldn’t say that. It’s not much of a talent to stand there and look pretty. You’re the talented one.” His eyes widened. “Wait, I didn’t mean that I’m pretty! I just meant—”

“You are pretty,” she blurted.

“I—really?”

She hoped he didn’t see her blush as she pointed to her magazine stash, where Adrien’s face stared up from the cover of La Mode. “Yeah, obviously. But you already knew that. People call you pretty all the time.”

“It’s different when you say it.”

“Why?”

“Because … you’re my friend. And your opinion matters.”

She knew he was being genuine, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was holding something back. The space between them felt fragile, like the glass would shatter under her fingers with just a touch. But she wasn’t sure she had the courage to break it.

“My opinion matters that much?” she dared. “What if I thought you were ugly, then?”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “You’re way too nice to ever tell me to my face.”

“Well, what if I told someone else’s face, and then they told your face?”

“Then I’d be absolutely devastated. I would cry myself to sleep every night.”

“Is it really that tragic to be ugly?”

“Well, you wouldn’t know, would you?”

His careful smile slipped sideways into a lopsided grin, and it suddenly became very hard not to picture a dark mask covering those green eyes. She found herself staring at his mouth, his chin—the only part of Chat Noir she had ever been allowed to see.

Ninety-three percent.

He was leaning forward slightly, past the half-meter barrier, back into friend space, back into their space. But he quickly sat up straight again, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I distracted us. We still need to figure out our topic.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” she said.

“Hmm?”

“Do you like modeling, or not?”

Adrien froze, staring down at the pen in his hand. Then he let out a breath. “Well, I guess … not really. If I’m being honest … no, I don’t particularly enjoy it.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

He turned to her. “Sorry for what?”

“Sorry that you got stuck doing something you don’t like.”

His eyes flickered down. “I mean, it’s not all bad. It’s just kinda boring. And tiring. Lot of long hours.”

“That sucks.”

“I’m used to it by now,” he said with a shrug. “Actually, I think the worst part is that … people are looking at me.”

She frowned. “What do you mean? You never seemed shy to me.”

“No, no, it’s not that I’m shy. I’m—I’m used to people looking at me, but … I guess I just wish they valued me for what I do, not what I look like. You know?”

What he did. Like giving his umbrella to the girl who wouldn’t listen. Giving his spot in the tournament so Max could play instead. Giving his weekend in London to fill a strange prescription just because she asked. Giving all his effort to please a father who was never impressed. Giving his time, his heart, his second chances (even to her—over 25,000 of them). Giving, giving, giving. She wished, for once, she could give something back.

“Oh, but just to be clear,” he said, “I’m still always happy to model your designs if you need me. Please don’t feel like you can’t ask anymore.”

She offered a small smile. “That’s okay. You don’t have to do that for me. You … you shouldn’t have to sacrifice like that.”

“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice! I promise,” he said earnestly. “It’s different with you. I love it. Seriously.”

“Okay then. I’m glad.” She turned her notebook to a fresh page. “But for the purposes of this project, let’s choose something other than fashion, okay? So just … think about it for a minute. What do you love most?”

She waited, but he didn’t answer. Just looked at her with a soft smile and something almost like longing. Which made her heart do that strange little flop again. She swallowed.

“What about fencing?” she prompted. “Piano? Or—wait. … your dad made you do those too, didn’t he?”

“He did, but I genuinely like those things,” he said. “I mean, I could do without all the forced hours of practice, but just playing, whatever I feel like? Sparring with Kagami? Yeah, I like it a lot.”

Kagami. Was she the mysterious soulmate he couldn’t tell them about? Or was it someone they’d never met? Something twisted in her stomach. She frantically pushed it away.

Adrien stiffened. “Are you okay, Marinette?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, of course!” She avoided his eyes, staring down at her blank notebook instead. “I’m really happy you enjoy those things.”

“Well, neither of them is something you’re passionate about, so that doesn’t help us much.”

“Oh, I guess not.”

He was quiet for a second. “How about video games? That’s a shared passion, right?”

She lifted her head. “Yeah, that could work!”

“Except … how exactly do you do a research report on video games?”

She tapped her pen on her chin. “Maybe we could give a little history about them and show how they’ve developed over the years. Like, from Pong to UMS IV, you know?”

He grinned. “I can always count on you to make things click. You have the best ideas.”

“Uh, thanks!”

“Okay, so, should we just start with some bullet points, then? To make an outline?” He scribbled something down in his notebook. “Hmm … I wonder when Pong came out.”

“November 1973.”

He looked up from his notebook, brows raised. “You didn’t even need to look that up?”

She shrugged. “What can I say? I know my video games.”

“Clearly. I should’ve expected as much from Miss Video Game Champ.”

Marinette blinked. She’d heard that before, but she couldn’t be sure where. An old memory scratched at the back of her brain—flying through the air with Chat Noir’s arms wrapped tightly around her while he dodged blasts from Gamer’s cannons.

Please don’t let go of me.

She shook the thought away. “Um, I was thinking that for the visual portion, we could do a poster with a timeline on it.”

“Great idea!”

“Okay. I’ll set it up, then. And you can get started with the research.”

“Sounds good.”

She stood up and moved to her craft table while Adrien scooted in front of the computer. Even with just a few extra steps, she could feel the distance stretch between them.

She grabbed the posterboard from behind her sewing machine. Her eyes scanned the table for supplies. Tape, markers, glue …

“Adrien, could you grab the scissors for me?”

“Sure.” His hand froze halfway to the drawer. “Wait, um, where are they?”

“Oh! Right. They’re in the bottom drawer there. On your left.”

She held out her hand, but he slid them across the desk instead, stopping halfway between them.

“Here you go,” he said.

(He pulled his hand back carefully, like he had measured it.)

She gathered the supplies in her arms and moved to the floor, where she laid the posterboard flat on the rug. For a several minutes, neither of them spoke. The only sounds were the dragging of her marker across the poster and the gentle clicks of the computer mouse.

She sneaked a glance at him. His posture was perfect, like he was sitting in a TV interview, not in a pink rolling chair in her bedroom. He leaned forward to write something in his notebook, his carefully styled hair falling over his forehead.

She didn’t realize she was staring until he looked her way, offering another distant smile. She blushed and whipped her head back to the poster. For another few minutes, there was silence, broken only when she sneezed and he softly answered, “Bless you.”

“I think I have a rough timeline plotted out now,” he said finally. “Wanna take a look?”

“Sure.”

He sat on the floor and slid his notebook to her. “What do you think?”

She scanned his neat handwriting. “I think … in order to truly understand how video games have developed over time … we need to play some.” She looked up. “Don’t you think?”

“Oh! Uh, you mean, right now?”

“Of course!” She stood and grabbed the game controllers from her drawer. “Unless you’re too chicken to play against Miss Video Game Champ.”

Adrien blinked. Then he lowered his brows with a determined smiled. “No way. You’re on.”

Twenty minutes later, they were halfway through round 2 of Ultimate Mecha Strike IV. (Adrien, Marinette noted, had not selected Chat Noir’s main, the black cat robot. He opted to play as the black-and-pink one.)

“Come on, come on, come on,” he said through gritted teeth.

Marinette glanced over and bit back a laugh as he frantically smashed buttons, tongue poking out between his teeth.

“Aha! Take that!” He landed an impressive triple combo, but Marinette dodged it just in time. While Adrien’s robot recovered from the missed hit, she delivered the final blow.

Marinette wins! the screen announced.

Adrien groaned. “As usual.”

“Aw, don’t be a sore loser.”

“I’m not a sore loser. I am a chagrined future winner. Simply experiencing the growing pains of pre-success.”

“Pfffft.”

He grinned, and something inside her crumbled.

Adrien didn’t smile with his teeth that often. It was usually a soft, closed-lipped smile—warm, but a little reserved. Like if he let his lips part he was admitting something he wasn’t allowed to say.

But when he smiled like this—big and bright and beautiful and free—she always felt a strange sense of catharsis. When he smiled like this, it changed his whole face. The way the sky changed when the sun broke through the clouds. It felt like gold, like treasure, and she wanted all the world to see what a glorious thing it was.

The smile faded as quickly as it had come, a veil dropping behind his eyes. She didn’t notice how close they were until he rolled his chair back.

“B-best out of five?” she asked.

He smiled politely from a half-meter away. “It’s always a pleasure to lose to you, Marinette. But we should probably get back to our project now.”

The rest of the time passed by both quickly and slowly somehow. They managed to assemble most of the poster and outline the major points of the report before they were interrupted by a knock at the trapdoor. Mom poked her head in and invited Adrien to stay for dinner, which he politely declined, saying that his father wanted him home before dark. He thanked Marinette and left her with a courteous goodbye and a strange, empty ache in the pit of her stomach.

 

---

 

By the time she’d finished dinner with her parents, rain had begun to fall. True to their baker’s schedule, Mom and Papa said good night shortly after, and Marinette was left alone with Tikki in her room while the rain thrummed against the window.

“Did Adrien seem to be acting a little weird today?” she asked as she put away the craft supplies.

“Um, no? I don’t think so,” TIkki said. “He seemed just as nice as he always is.”

“I mean, sure, he was nice. He’s Adrien. I just mean that … I don’t know … something felt … different.”

“Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Ugh. I’m not even sure what I mean.” Marinette sighed and sank into her desk chair. (The other chair still stood next to it, a half-meter away.)

It was hard to explain how it felt—the space between them. It felt the way it did in the beginning, when she had loved him from a distance, through barriers of iron gates and TV screens and her own clumsy heartbeats.

She had loved him so desperately then. It took her a long time to love him a different way, but eventually she did. It was the difference between clinging tightly to someone’s hand and holding it loosely, allowing them the option to pull away. She had trusted him to not let go. And he hadn’t. Until now, it seemed.

She swallowed. Why did it feel like their friendship had suddenly slipped back to square one somehow? The restrained politeness, the tip-toeing, the carefully maintained distance. Was it all in her head, or did he feel it too? Was he doing it on purpose? It couldn’t all be because of his new soulmate, right? That wouldn’t change anything between them.

(Ninety-three percent, her brain supplied. She shoved the thought away.)

“Well, if you want, you can talk about it. Or maybe you could write about it.” Tikki flitted over to land on the lid of her diary box. “That usually seems to help.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Marinette unlocked the box and opened the book to the next blank page.

Today, she wrote, Adrien came over to work on a school project.

She paused. Listened to the rain. Clicked her pen. Click-click, click, click, click-click, click-click-click.

What was she supposed to say? “Today Adrien came over and it made me feel weird because I used to be in love with him and now I’m in love with someone else and he’s just a good friend but despite being as nice as ever he felt kind of distant to me and I don’t know why”?

She groaned and plopped her forehead to the desk.

“Are you okay?” Tikki asked.

Marinette sighed. “I just wish Chat Noir were here right now.”

She wanted to see him, hear him, feel him. She wanted to hold him until all the weirdness of the day was forgotten, until her mind went quiet and things made sense and she remembered what it felt like to be sure of something.

(She also wanted to kiss him stupid, but sadly, that wasn’t an option.)

“Is he coming tonight?” Tikki asked.

She clicked her pen again. “He didn’t say.”

“Couldn’t you just message him?”

“It’s raining! I’m not going to ask him to come in the rain.”

Click-click, click, click—

—tap-tap, tap-tap-tap.

She froze.

“When did a little rain ever stop Chat Noir?” Tikki grinned.

“Shh! Hide, Tikki!”

Marinette stumbled up the steps and pushed the skylight open to let in a dripping wet Chat Noir.

“Chat, what are you doing out in the rain? You shouldn’t have come tonight.”

He shut the window tight and turned to her, offering her favorite brown-paper smile. “I missed you,” he said simply.

“Ugh, come here.” She wrapped her blanket around him to dry him off.

“What, you’re not gonna scold me for getting your bed all wet?”

“I don’t care.” She pulled him down to lean against her, bringing her arms around his blanket cocoon and squeezing him tight. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

For a while they just lay there and listened to the rain drumming against the window. With Chat Noir snuggled against her, she could almost forget the strange emptiness she’d felt earlier. His presence filled her up like a cup of hot cocoa, warming her from the inside out.

“Hey, Chat?” she said. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I love you.”

“I already knew that.”

“So?”

“So, that’s not the game.”

“A little reminder never hurts.” He freed one hand and laced their fingers together, squeezing her hand in a strange pattern.

She paused. “Is that our knock?”

“Yep.”

She smiled and squeezed him back. “Dork. Go again.”

“Okay, okay, let’s see. Um … I have beaten every track in Extreme Racing 5.”

“Hmm. And yet you still haven’t beaten me at UMS.”

“Not true! I totally have beaten you before.”

“Because I fell asleep.”

“That counts! You snooze, you lose. Literally.”

“Whatever.”

He twisted around to look her in the eye. “I’ll play you right now. Loser has to give the winner a cool rock.”

She laughed. “I have so many cool rocks that pretty soon the box will be too heavy to lift.”

“But what if I want a cool rock?”

“You can have one of mine, then.”

“Regifting? Back to the original gifter? You know, for a princess, you’re a real cheapskate.”

“I thought that offer was very generous of me, actually.”

“I don’t want your pity rocks. I want to earn it.”

She raised her hands. “Okay, okay. We’ll play for it. But I’m not gonna go easy on you.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

He hopped over the railing of her bed and landed nimbly on the floor.

“Hey, if you try to start without me, that’s cheating,” she said as she scrambled down the steps. When she got to the bottom, Chat Noir was looking at the journal still spread open in front of the computer.

“Is this your diary?” he asked, picking it up.

A nervous prickle ran down her spine. “Uh, yep! Just—just give it here, I’ll—”

“Do you write about me in it?” he asked.

“Well, yeah. Of course.”

“Ooh, I wonder what you’ve said about me. Probably that I’m super funny and charming and have a cute butt, right?”

“Chat—”

“Can I read it?” he asked eagerly.

“Uh …” She glanced at Tikki, who was watching with wide eyes from behind the sewing machine. “I don’t know, it has some pretty private stuff in it.”

“Nothing you couldn’t tell your soulmate, though! Come on, Marinette, please?”

“Um, I really don’t—”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone what I read! How could I, anyway? I won’t even make fun of anything you said. I mean, unless it’s really funny. You can’t hold it against me if it’s really funny. But still, I will be very respectful.”

“Please, I—”

“And we can still play ‘Tell Me Something I Don’t Know,’ but now I’ll have more things to ask about! I’ll get to know so much about you. It’ll be—”

“NO!”

Marinette lunged forward and snatched the diary out of his hands.

Chat stood frozen, looking like he’d been slapped in the face. Marinette could feel it just by looking at him, a devastating echo ringing against her ribcage.

“You … really don’t want me to read it?” he asked.

She clutched the book to her heart. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want you to. I just … can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

She lowered her eyes. “Can’t let you.”

A pause. “Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Both, I guess.”

“This isn’t the first time there’s been something you won’t tell me,” Chat said slowly. “Marinette, are you … hiding something from me?”

She swallowed but didn’t answer. The seconds stretched between them.

When Chat finally spoke, his voice was soft, his eyes glued to the floor.

“Do you ever think about how … we’re the only two soulmates in the world who have secrets?”

Her mouth went dry.

“I think about it all the time. And I hate it. I hate that I can’t tell you everything. That I have things to hide. That, sometimes, I even have to lie to you.”

He lifted his head, and the look in his eyes made her ribs creak like old wood.

“It’s hard enough to keep secrets from Ladybug, and my friends, and my family,” he said. “But you? The person I’m supposed to share everything with? That hurts more than anything else.”

He stepped closer. She resisted the urge to take a step back.

“You know that, right?” he asked. “How much it kills me that I can’t always be honest with you?”

She wet her lips. “I know.”

“But this whole time, I’ve been thinking, ‘At least she can tell me everything. At least the secrets only go one way.’”

She stood silently, the diary heavy as a tombstone in her arms.

“This is not just about the diary. And this isn’t me being nosy. I—I don’t want to invade your privacy. I just … I thought …” He sighed. “Marinette, I don’t understand. You told me you wanted me to know everything.”

“I do!” she said earnestly.

“Then what are you hiding? Why are you hiding?”

She looked down.

“I guess … I thought things were different than they are,” Chat Noir said. “I guess I thought … you trusted me.”

“I do trust you.”

“Apparently not. Not enough to know whatever secrets you’re hiding. I think …” He swallowed. “I think maybe we need some … distance.”

Her heart plunged to her stomach. “What? No! Chat, all we have is distance.”

“That seems to be what you want anyway.”

“That—that’s not fair.”

“Nothing about this is fair. What’s fair about having a soulmate you can’t touch? A soulmate who can’t even know your name? I just—I thought we were in this together.”

“We are!”

“I keep my secrets because I don’t have a choice,” he said. “But you don’t have to keep secrets. You choose to keep them anyway.”

“Chat, you don’t understand—”

“No, I don’t. So please, help me understand.”

He waited. She desperately tried to find some words to offer, but there was nothing but weak excuses. And she would rather stay silent than lie to him. So she bit her tongue and watched his face fall as something died inside her chest, a balloon slowly deflating until there was nothing left inside.

“I have to go,” he said quietly.

She followed him up the steps, still hugging the diary with one arm as she grabbed his hand with the other. “No—Chat, stay—”

“Please let go, Marinette.”

His voice was even, but it sounded wrong. Like a stranger’s. She dropped his hand.

He lifted the skylight. Rain fell on her sheets, but she didn’t care.

“Will you come back tomorrow?” she asked, voice shaking.

“No. Not tomorrow.” He climbed through the window and she stuck her head out after him, dropping the diary on her bed.

“Then when? When will you come back?”

He was crouched with his back to her, rain rolling off his suit. He didn’t turn around.

“I don’t know,” he said. Then, before she had managed to climb onto the balcony, he was gone.

“No, wait!” she cried, slipping on the wet stone. She gripped the railing with both hands and blinked against tears and rain as she scanned the rooftops.

“Chat, please,” she whispered. “Don’t go.”

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there in the rain. By the time she slipped back through the skylight, her clothes were soaked, and so was her bed. She shut the window behind her and sat in a puddle, rain and tears dripping down her face. The discarded diary sat at her feet, ruined. She barely registered Tikki’s worried babbling as she hovered close.

Maybe this was bound to happen. Maybe it was only a matter of time before the pressure would be too much, before her secrets caught up with her, before the mask came between her and everything she loved most. Maybe it was always going to end like this.

Because what did it mean to be his soulmate if she couldn’t give him everything? If she could only love him within limits? If no matter how close she wanted to be to him, she always had to keep him at a distance?

One half-meter. It had felt so far away. And maybe that was a sign. Maybe caring about Adrien like that meant that her bond with Chat Noir was already dying. That she was killing it every day with her secrets—all of them, even the ones she didn’t want to admit to herself. Maybe she had doomed them from the start.

Now Chat Noir was the one behind a glass wall, a million half-meters away, and she didn’t know how she could ever close the distance.

“Marinette,” Tikki said gently, “I know you’re upset. But you have to get up, okay? You need dry clothes and blankets.”

Obediently, Marinette changed into dry pajamas. Stripped the blankets from her bed. Carried them down the stairs. Then she loaded them into the dryer they used for aprons and towels from the bakery, careful not to wake her parents.

She stood in the shower for a long time, letting the warm water run through her hair, over her face. Back in her bedroom, she sat cross-legged on the chaise in a towel hat, staring at her hands in her lap (hands that could reach but not touch, hands that pulled and then pushed).

“I’m so sorry, Marinette,” Tikki said sadly. “I’m sure Chat Noir will come around soon.”

Marinette said nothing. Just slipped off her towel and brushed her hair with her own trembling hands, trying not to remember his fingers in her hair.

“Marinette?” Tikki asked softly.

“I’m fine,” she lied.

I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.

She crept back downstairs, moving slowly through the shadows.

Her laundry was still warm. Like a heartbeat. Or a soft cheek.

She hugged it close, but the heat seeped away like a palmful of water.

It went cold in her arms, just like that.

Notes:

see rossivette's art here! thank you so much 😭<333

Chapter 15: fiery cheebos

Summary:

marinettedesigned

im so scared he’s not going to come back
what if he never comes back???
he’s not coming back i
what do i do if he’s not coming back

Notes:

sorry, this ended up much longer than i intended alskjfdsafj i can never get them to shut up 😔

8 days ago

23:57

marinettedesigned

alya i need you

please

i know it’s late but

i just really need you

ladyblogger

you ok?

marinettedesigned

no

ladyblogger

i’m sorry, m :(

do you want to talk about the thing or do you want me to distract you?

marinettedesigned

i don’t want to but i have to talk about it. i have to

alya i don’t know what to do

i feel like

i dont know i just feel like

alya i

i cant breahte

ladyblogger

hey hey hey, let’s take it slow, ok?

can you count with me?

1

marinettedesigned

2

ladyblogger

3

take a breath for me

marinettedesigned

ok

ladyblogger

good job

4

marinettedesigned

5

ladyblogger

6

marinettedesigned

7

ladyblogger

8

marinettedesigned

9

ladyblogger

10

are you still with me?

marinettedesigned

yeah

thanks

ladyblogger

i’m right here, ok?

keep taking deep breaths

it’s going to be ok

do you want me to call you?

marinettedesigned

no i’d rather just text

imkinda like. bawling my eyes out

ladyblogger

im so sorry marinette

i wish i could come over there and hug you :(

what happened?

marinettedesigned

we had a fight

ladyblogger

you and your soulmate?

marinettedesigned

yes

ladyblogger

about what?

or i mean you don’t have to give any details if you don’t want to

im not trying to be nosy

marinettedesigned

it’s ok

he thinks i dont trust him

he’s wrong. i trust him more than anyone

ladyblogger

i know you do

but why would he think that?

marinettedesigned

because. it’s complicated

there are some things i can’t tell him

ladyblogger

how come?

you’re soulmates

marinettedesigned

that’s what he said too.

ladyblogger

sorry, i promise im not trying to judge or anything!

im just a little confused

i mean i don’t have a soulmate technically but nino and i share p much everything

like, apart from you, he’s the person i tell literally everything

marinettedesigned

i know

im jealous

ladyblogger

of me and nino?

marinettedesigned

yeah

you guys are perfect

ladyblogger

well we love each other a lot but we’re far from perfect, trust me

marinettedesigned

u guys have the best relationship i can think of

outside of my parents

i wish i could give him what you two have

ladyblogger

you two have your own special thing though!

i mean i don’t know him and i haven’t seen you together but i know you are perfect for each other

marinettedesigned

i thought that too

but now he’s gone and everything is wrong

ive ruined it alya i’ve ruined everything

ladyblogger

you havent ruin it

every couple fights. you’ll get through it

marinettedesigned

but what about the ones who dont get through it?

i think

i think maybe he broke up with me

ladyblogger

he said that??

marinettedesigned

no..

but when i asked him when he was coming back he said “i don’t know”

ladyblogger

ok..that doesn’t necessarily mean that he broke up with you

marinettedesigned

but it could

im so scared he’s not going to come back

what if he never comes back???

he’s not coming back i

what do i do if he’s not coming back

ladyblogger

deep breaths

he’ll come back

marinettedesigned

you don’t know that

you don’t even know him

ladyblogger

i may not know him but i know a lot about him

and that’s how i know he’ll come back

marinettedesigned

but you don’t know anything about him

ladyblogger

yes i do

i know two things:

1. you love him

2. he loves you

and that tells me everything i need to know

marinettedesigned

?

ladyblogger

#1 tells me that he is a good person. kind, selfless, patient. because that’s the only kind of person you could ever fall in love with.

#2 tells me that he values all the things you are—kind, selfless, patient, like him, but also brave, smart, and 100% trustworthy

i don’t know what you are keeping from him or why, but i know he loves you and i know he trusts you

maybe it will take a little time, but he’ll come around. he’ll be back

marinettedesigned

but why should he

i feel like a terrible soulmate

and a terrible friend

aren’t you still mad at me?

for keeping secrets from you?

ladyblogger

no. i’m not mad

i’ll admit that it hurt a lot in the beginning, thinking you didn’t trust me

marinettedesigned

i do trust you!

ladyblogger

i know you do

that’s what im trying to say

that i trust YOU

so when you say you trust me

i believe you

marinettedesigned

but why do you even trust me? when you know i’m hiding things?

ladyblogger

well

do you remember what adrien said, that day we found out about your soulmate?

he said he was sure you had a reason

and that it didn’t matter to him if he didn’t know what the reason was

because he knew what kind of person you were

so if you said you had one, he believed you

marinettedesigned

yeah, i remember

ladyblogger

that really clicked for me

i thought about it a lot afterward

because he was right

marinette, you have nothing left to prove to me, ok?

you don’t have to earn my trust. you already earned it, a long long time ago

for all the time i’ve known you, you’ve shown me the kind of person you are and why you are worthy of trust

so now, you can have it for free, ok?

obviously i would love to know everything. but i don’t have to

i may not understand, but i believe you

i mean, how could i be your bff if i didnt stick by you when it really matters?

i love you and i trust you. and im your friend no matter what

marinettedesigned

alya

you’re literally the best best friend i could ever hope for

i don’t deserve you

ladyblogger

girl YES YOU DO !!!!

literally i just gave a whole speech on why you do deserve it lol

but the point is

if that’s how *i* feel about you

it’s definitely how your soulmate feels too

marinettedesigned

i really hope so

he was so, so hurt

and it hurt so much to see him hurting

it kills me to keep things from him

i want to tell him everything

but i can’t. i dont have a choice

and he doesn’t get it because why would he?

i know it doesn’t make sense to you either i just

im so tired, al. and im scared. and im lonely

ladyblogger

im right here, girl. you can be lonely with me

marinettedesigned

i miss him so much it hurts

like it actually physically hurts almost

i know this sounds so melodramatic because it’s only been a few hours since he left me but i feel so

empty

like theres. nothing in here anymore. without him to fill it up

ladyblogger

oh marinette

this is breaking my heart

im so so sorry

marinettedesigned

im sorry, i dont want to burden you

this is my problem, not yours

ladyblogger

listen

you arent burdening me

you are my best friend and i want to know when you are hurting. so that even if i cant help, i can at least hurt with you

marinettedesigned

but i dont want you to hurt

he’s hurting and you’re hurting and i don’t want anyone to hurt because of me anymore

ladyblogger

i know you dont

but hurting is a part of loving

so if i have to hurt sometimes to love you, that’s okay with me

marinettedesigned

thank you

that means a lot

i know that you’re not supposed to know about him but

im glad you do

ladyblogger

me too

im sorry i pushed you into telling me though

you’re my best friend but that doesn’t mean you cant have privacy

i shouldn’t have snooped so much into your personal life

marinettedesigned

it’s okay

it’s in your nature isnt it

world’s greatest reporter and all haha

ladyblogger

breaking news: i care about you a lot and i want to be there for you however you need me

marinettedesigned

breaking news: you’re the best friend ever and you’re always there for me and im so grateful for you

seriously, i dont know what i would do if you weren’t there to talk me through this rn

i finally stopped crying haha

i mean. not totally but mostly

ladyblogger

that’s good

ngl i also cried a little lol

marinettedesigned

aw alya🥺💜

i think i’ll be ok now tho

i mean, he’s still gone and it still hurts and i still feel….terrible

but, idk, you always make me feel better

you always know the right thing to say

and you’re like. cozy

ladyblogger

im cozy?

marinettedesigned

yeah. youre always super warm

i mean like your hugs are very warm and your voice is very warm and your words are very warm

ladyblogger

i am sending u my warmest virtual hug rn

and soon i will hug you for real

listen. tomorrow’s friday

you’re gonna come over and we’re gonna watch really stupid movies and we will steal nora’s super fuzzy blanket and i will be the big spoon so you feel extra cozy

marinettedesigned

that sounds really nice

ladyblogger

that’s not all

we’re going to stuff our faces with the worst junk food we can get.

like, contraband. american stuff

marinettedesigned

where are you gonna get that

ladyblogger

nino has a stash. he buys it online lol

marinettedesigned

aw i don’t wanna take nino’s special junk food stash

ladyblogger

it’s an emergency. he’ll live

plus i bought most of it anyway lol

he loves those spicy corn puff things

fiery cheebos or whatever

marinettedesigned

cheetos i think

ladyblogger

whatever. they’re kinda nasty but we’re going to eat them

and the peanut butter cups

marinettedesigned

ooh those are good

ladyblogger

yeah they are

idk are there snacks you want in particular?

other than the chewy sour ones

the naughty children

marinettedesigned

very bad kids

ladyblogger

right, those

marinettedesigned

i actually. um. kind of hate those haha

ladyblogger

what? but you always ask for them

marinettedesigned

yeah, my soulmate loves them so i’d always save them and give them to him

ladyblogger

wait

you’ve been doing that for like. years

marinettedesigned

uh. yeah i guess

ladyblogger

GIRL are you telling me you have had a secret soulmate for YEARS??

marinettedesigned

no no no!

we only clicked a couple months ago

ladyblogger

but you had a secret boyfriend???

marinettedesigned

no!!

we weren’t dating

we were just friends

ladyblogger

“just friends”?

remembering-yuor-favorite-candy-so-i-can-bring-it-to-you-later “just friends”??

marinettedesigned

well

yes

ladyblogger

…

marinettedesigned

what?

ladyblogger

nothing

marinettedesigned

what??

ladyblogger

that just sounds like how you would go out of your way to do nice stuff for another “just a friend”

who happened to never be able to show up to practically any of our movie nights because of his turd of a father

marinettedesigned

it’s not adrien!

also adrien is a just a friend

ladyblogger

well yeah, now he is

ok maybe that just means that your soulmate was not actually “just a friend” back then either

marinettedesigned

well

yeah, maybe you’re right

ladyblogger

wait so you guys were, like, actually hanging out? for all this time?

marinettedesigned

yeah

ladyblogger

how did I never know about this??

i mean this has to be someone i know, right?

your parents knew, right? do they know about your soulmate?

marinettedesigned

no, they don’t know about him and they didn’t know we were hanging out before either

ladyblogger

how did they not know? i guess you only hang out at his place? or somewhere else?

marinettedesigned

no it’s always at my place

but usually after like 19h30, when my parents are already asleep

ladyblogger

oh right. bakers’ schedule

so you just sneak him in through the bakery door after hours?

marinettedesigned

uh. yes

ladyblogger

do his parents know about you?

marinettedesigned

no

you and nino and adrien are pretty much the only ones who know about us

oh and max i guess

ladyblogger

wow

it must be hard to keep something this huge from your parents

and sad too. i can’t imagine having to sneak around with nino

marinettedesigned

yeah it sucks. im sure my parents would be thrilled. especially my dad haha

he would go so over-the-top with everything but it would be cute

i think they’d really get along

i think you and nino would really lke him too

i wish you could all know him

ladyblogger

me too

then i could just call him by his name instead of just “your soulmate” lol

marinettedesigned

yeah that does feel kind of awkward aslkfksd let’s just call him K

ladyblogger

K? is that his first initial

marinettedesigned

it stands for a nickname i call him

ladyblogger

aww you guys have nicknames for each other?

marinettedesigned

yes

ladyblogger

can i know what they are or is that too embarrassing for u

marinettedesigned

uh. maybe

ladyblogger

come oooon

marinettedesigned

ok fine he calls me princess

ladyblogger

aw, that’s so cheesy! lol

so does K stand for King? that seems weird lol

marinettedesigned

no

ladyblogger

kangaroo

knickerbocker

uh

kilogram

marinettedesigned

these are all very cute nicknames lol

ladyblogger

i suddenly cant remember any words that start with k alkjsfdsj

killjoy

knave

marinettedesigned

he can be both of those things at times, yes

wait no he’s like the opposite of a killjoy. he’s kind of a clown

ladyblogger

klown

wait KNIGHT

the princess and her knight!!

that’s both cringey and cute lol

marinettedesigned

dsfjalf

johnmulaney-weknowbuthey.jpg

ladyblogger

wait so i got it?? k stands for knight?

marinettedesigned

no but im not going to tell you

it’s confidential

ladyblogger

konfidential

marinettedesigned

lol

ladyblogger

wait did you guys give each other these nicknames recently then?

marinettedesigned

no, we’ve used them basically since the beginning

ladyblogger

the beginning. which was like two years ago

marinettedesigned

right

ladyblogger

you guys have been meeting in secret to hang out and eat sour candies and call each other sappy nicknames for two years

marinettedesigned

um. i guess??

ladyblogger

marinette are you really sure you he wasn’t your boyfriend

marinettedesigned

lajksdfjlk YES omg we were just friends

ladyblogger

you brought him sour candies, what did he bring you

roses? lol

marinettedesigned

well..

ladyblogger

GIRL DID HE BRING U ROSES

marinettedesigned

yes he brought them all the time but they were just friendship roses!

ladyblogger

IM LITERALLY AT MY LIMIT RIGHT NOW FKLJSDFLJFJSD

what else did you do during these secret hangout sessions??

marinettedesigned

uh

we’d just talk

or play video games. or watch movies

ladyblogger

or make out

marinettedesigned

FLJKDSJK NO???

we would literally just hang out in my room!

ladyblogger

and cuddle

marinettedesigned

NO

i mean well...yeah

he’s cozy too

ladyblogger

hmm

marinettedesigned

a lot of times he’d just help me with my homework

or chill while i designed

ladyblogger

yeahhh sounds like BBE to me

marinettedesigned

what

ladyblogger

big boyfriend energy 🙂

marinettedesigned

asjklfdkj not the passive-aggressive smiley omg

seriously it wasnt like that

it’s not like we were going out on dates

i mean we hardly ever went out at all. the most we’d do is sometimes go out for a late-night...walk?

ladyblogger

wtf does that mean

marinettedesigned

uh what haha

ladyblogger

“a late-night...walk?”

tell me that doesnt sound like u were sucking face in an alley or something girl wtf

marinettedesigned

SDFLSFJ NO i promise we really were just friends we never kissed until we clicked

ladyblogger

ok fine but just bc you didn’t kiss him doesnt mean you didnt love him

marinettedesigned

i. well. idk

ladyblogger

marinette this is literally your soulmate im talking about, it’s not embarrassing to admit you had a crush on him before you clicked 😂

marinettedesigned

right ok i kNOW

i did fall in love him before we clicked

im not sure when it happened, but yeah. i think loved him for a long time

ladyblogger

but you still loved adrien, huh

that’s probably why you didnt want to admit it

marinettedesigned

yeah

ugh. im such a mess

ladyblogger

it’s ok, girl! love is messy. life is messy

but now you love him for real and he loves you

and it will all be fine

marinettedesigned

unless he doesn’t forgive me

unless he never comes back

ladyblogger

he’ll come back

he just needs a little space

marinettedesigned

you really think so?

ladyblogger

definitely

you think nino and i are perfect but we’ve been through something like this before

not for the same reasons obviously, but yeah

marinettedesigned

oh yeah. the Great Divide

ladyblogger

sjlfdasjklf what?

marinettedesigned

that’s what me and adrien called it

ladyblogger

did you really 😂

marinettedesigned

yes

it really sucked

you guys are the glue of our friend group and it was so weird and awkward when you weren’t talking

and also scary

ladyblogger

why scary?

marinettedesigned

because i was worried you wouldnt get back together!

and you guys are perfect so if a perfect couple couldn’t work out, what hope did I ever have with anyone? me with all my stupid hangups and blah blah blah

ladyblogger

like i said, we aren’t perfect

and that breakup was proof of it

i mean, we didn’t really break up i guess, we were just...on a break

and it was only a couple of weeks

marinettedesigned

a couple TERRIBLE AWFUL weeks that i HATED

i felt like my parents were getting divorced

ladyblogger

SJFDFJFS GIRL

i mean i guess nino and i are like. the mom friends. lmao

marinettedesigned

yes you are

you’re the responsible stable ones so the fact that you could actually have relationship problems broke my stupid little brain

ladyblogger

that’s what im trying to tell you, girl

everyone has relationship problems. even the strong ones

even soulmates

but that doesn’t mean it’s the end

it’s just a bump in the road

marinettedesigned

yeah?

ladyblogger

yeah

to tell you the truth, i barely even remember what our fight was about

it was stupid, whatever it was. i feel like it had something to do with his lucky wristbands maybe ? lol

i mean that wasn’t the only thing, that was just kind of the final straw with some problems that had been building up for a little while

marinettedesigned

like what?

ladyblogger

like, he felt that i was not putting our relationship first over blogging and journalism class and all my other side projects

and that pissed me off because im allowed to have interests, right? im good at what i do and it’s my dedication and passion for it that makes me good at it

and i was hurt that nino wasn’t supporting me in that

but after the blowup over whatever stupid thing it was, i realized that he was right

and so was i. and i was also wrong and so was he. it was all just a misunderstanding

because i loved nino so much, but i didn’t always make sure he knew that

marinettedesigned

what do you mean? i’m sure he knew you loved him

ladyblogger

i mean, yes, he knew it, but i’m not sure he really felt it, you know?

i kind of got to a point that i just assumed he would feel it, even if i didn’t say that often, even if i canceled on him one more time, even if it took me a while to answer his texts

i thought that he would always just be waiting for me, whenever i had a chance to catch my breath. and i kept thinking “when things finally slow down, i can take my time with him”

but you know what? things never slow down. akuma attacks will keep happening until ladybug and chat noir stop hawkmoth. there will always be homework, and cool project opportunities, and a million other things

and nino is such a good guy and he would support me and cheer me on through all of it, but he has limits too. i realized that to keep him, to make sure he knew and felt how much i loved him, i had to make some sacrifices

not that i had to give up any of that stuff that was important to me—and nino would never ask me to do that—but if there didn’t seem to be time for him, i had to make time. i had to choose him over the less-important things so that both of us knew how important he was to me

does that make sense?

marinettedesigned

yeah, totally

i never knew that’s what it was all about

i was kind of afraid to ask. i didn’t wanna be nosy

ladyblogger

nah it’s all good

sorry for rambling btw haha

i know that’s not the same situation that you’re in rn but part of it is the same

because after the fight, nino was the one who asked for time away

so i kind of know how you’re feeling right now

like you ruined something that was so perfect and now you dont know what to do

marinettedesigned

yeah:(

ladyblogger

but look at me and nino now! strong as ever

we got through it and so will you

marinettedesigned

but how did you?

what did you do?

ladyblogger

honestly? i just gave him space

it only took me a few days to cool down and realize how i was in the wrong, so i was ready to reconcile pretty quickly. i just wanted to say sorry and make changes to make it work between us

but he had asked for space, so i felt like i owed him that

i wasnt trying to force him to be the one to apologize first or anything

i just wanted to make sure he had enough time to process whatever he needed to process

nino’s always been like that. he’s like...well, slow isn’t the right word, but i guess sort of. like, he takes his time on things. im always go, go, go, but he’s usually a lot more..thoughtful? he does things on purpose. so i knew he would only come back to me if he meant it, if he was really ready to try again

idk if K is like that, but that’s my advice. just hang in there, wait it out, and let him come back when he’s ready

marinettedesigned

yeah...i think that’s probably for the best

but ugh i miss him so much already

ladyblogger

i get that. the waiting really sucked for me too. i missed nino right away and i couldn’t stand him feeling so far away, but i thought, “well, he was waiting on me this whole time, and now it’s my turn to wait on him”

and it worked out. after a couple weeks, he was ready, and he talked to me, and i tried to take it slow and not just smooch-attack him immediately lol, but i told him i was sorry and i was willing to make changes

and it took another couple weeks to feel normal again, but we did. and i think we’re stronger now because of that than we would be if it had never happened

maybe it will be the same for you two

marinettedesigned

i hope so

ladyblogger

dw girl, i’m sure you’ll be playing video games and sharing sour candies that you hate and making out in alleys again in no time

marinettedesigned

jsflakdlfkj alyaaa

ladyblogger

ok not in alleys then. wherever you guys make out

your balcony under the moonlight 😌

your little pink chaise

your bed 👁👁

marinettedesigned

STOP

why are you so concerned about us making out!!

ladyblogger

girl im just looking out for u

u pined after adrien for so long and didnt even get any lip action out of luka lol so i am just making sure u are getting some good smoochage now

marinettedesigned

i appreciate the concern, thank you

ladyblogger

you got it bestie

so is he a good kisser 👀

marinettedesigned

…

yes

he’s a very good kisser

i wish i could kiss him right now

ladyblogger

patience, my young padawan

u will smooch him soon enough

damn i bet kissing ur soulmate is really something else huh

being able to feel it in like a...magical way? i don’t really know how it works haha

marinettedesigned

yeah...i really cant describe it that well but

it’s like….ok this will sound weird but it’s like your body becomes a tuning fork

ladyblogger

asjlfdfljlkj what

girl you haven’t been with luka in forever, what’s with the music metaphors lmao

marinettedesigned

no listen it’s like

everything inside you is singing a single note, everything resonating at the same frequency, and their soul is doing the same thing

like, both of you, at once, one perfect note that you can feel in your heart and deep in your bones. like you’re just filled with light, and for that one moment, it’s like you’re hardly even a separate person

it’s not “me” and “you” anymore, it’s just… “us”

ladyblogger

wow

that sounds...strange. but also amazing

marinettedesigned

yeah basically

ladyblogger

that has to tell you how you’re meant to be together, right?

how could he not come back to you when you have that with each other?

marinettedesigned

maybe he forgot

ladyblogger

how could he forget that?

marinettedesigned

it’s easier than you think.

ladyblogger

i don’t think he could ever forget that

i bet he’s thinking about you right now

marinettedesigned

i’m always thinking about him

i really miss the way he feels

ladyblogger

you mean like, feeling his emotions?

marinettedesigned

no. well, yes, but

just like. him in general

he feels like...idk, he feels a certain way. he feels like... him

sry that doesn’t make any sense does it

ladyblogger

sort of but also not really haha

marinettedesigned

ok it’s kind of like someone’s voice

like, when a person is happy or sad or angry or whatever, you can tell that by the sound of their voice. but no matter what, it’s their voice. you know?

it’s their voice and no one else’s. it sounds like them, and no matter what they’re saying you know it’s them talking

ladyblogger

ok yeah that makes sense

marinettedesigned

i mean obviously i have only ever felt K like this and no one else but i think everyone’s souls would feel a certain way, just like how their voice sounds a certain way

ladyblogger

you miss the sound of his voice

but like, on the inside?

marinettedesigned

well i didn’t hear him talking in my head haha

but yeah, i felt him there. and i knew it was him because it felt like him

ladyblogger

aw girl dont start talking in the past tense already! lol. im sure he’ll come back soon

i know you miss him but it’s only been a few hours so it’s not like the connection is dead or something haha

marinettedesigned

right..

ladyblogger

you’ll have to be patient but i don’t think it will be too long

and i can keep you company in the meantime💜

you can come straight after school tmw if you want

marinettedesigned

ok, sounds good

thank you so much, alya

i really needed this

i feel a lot better but im pretty exhausted so im gonna go to sleep now

ladyblogger

ok. sleep well

it’s all gonna be fine

marinettedesigned

thanks

you’re the best

love you

ladyblogger

love you girl

good night

---

1 week ago

09:18

lahiffesbeats

dude where are you?

oml did ur dad pull u out of school again???

adrienagrestebrand

no no

i’m just not feeling good toady

lahiffesbeats

toady lol

but man, u ok??

if u were anyone else i’d assume ur playing hooky lmao but i know how much u genuinely love school

(weirdo)

adrienagrestebrand

im fine i just need some. recovery time

lahiffesbeats

wow u must’ve come down with this fast

you seemed totally fine yesterday

and wait didnt u go to marinette’s to work on ur project?

crap i hope she doesn’t get sick too, she’s really not doing well rn as it is

adrienagrestebrand

she’s not?

what’s wrong?

lahiffesbeats

well i didnt want to pry but its something to do w her soulmate

i think they broke up or something

adrienagrestebrand

oh. that’s too bad

lahiffesbeats

yeah alya told me that marinette texted her at like midnight last night crying her eyes out

and they talked for a while until she calmed down but

bro im looking at her rn and she. does not look good

adrienagrestebrand

what do you mean?

how does she look?

lahiffesbeats

she looks like someone who just got their heart broken dude

like someone who just lost their literal soulmate

adrienagrestebrand

oh

lahiffesbeats

this doesnt even make sense to me

like how do u break up with your soulmate? can you even do that?

i mean imagine breaking up with your soulmate

that sounds bonkers, right?

i mean i guess it always would sound bonkers to break up with ur SO when you’re doing good

but with a soulmate it’s like. an extra level of bonkers

adrienagrestebrand

i guess

lahiffesbeats

crap i gotta go before mendeleiev confiscates my phone lol

i’ll text u at lunch

adrienagrestebrand

ok

---

13:03

lahiffesbeats

greetings to the infirm

adrienagrestebrand

hey

lahiffesbeats

feeling any better?

adrienagrestebrand

no not really

how’s marinette

lahiffesbeats

uh not great

we found a spot outside with a little more privacy and we were trying to distract her by playing a game

u know that stupid ‘guess what im thinking’ game we used to play lol

but i guess it reminded her of some game she plays w her soulmate so

she started crying and now she and alya went off somewhere

adrienagrestebrand

oh no

lahiffesbeats

yeah...poor thng

but she and alya are supposed to be having some kind of girls’ night tonight at alya’s palce

so maybe that will get her in better spirits

i hope so :( it’s legit painful to see her like this

like im almost glad ur not here today bc i know you’d feel terrible seeing her

cause ur like. hella empathetic haha

adrienagrestebrand

i might not be as empathetic as you think

lahiffesbeats

? what does that mean

adrien ur one of the most caring and understandng people i know

like you’re even nice to chloé. despite the fact that she’s a total binch to everyone around her, constantly. lol

adrienagrestebrand

i guess

lahiffesbeats

trust me if u were here….you’d feel awful and would probably manage to find a way to blame yourself even tho u had nothing to do with it lol

adrienagrestebrand

right

lahiffesbeats

just try not to worry about her too much, k?

u just need to rest and eat soup and get ready for your sick-in-bed photoshoot

or whatever u rich people do when ur sick lmao

adrienagrestebrand

i cant just not worry about her

especially when

lahiffesbeats

when what

adrienagrestebrand

nevermind

lahiffesbeats

dw man, my girl will take good care of her

alya’s hugs have healing powers. certified fact

plus alya is convinced this isnt really the end, that theyre just kind of on a break or something. and he’ll be back

adrienagrestebrand

she said that?

lahiffesbeats

yeah. i guess even soulmates arent immune to relationship problems haha. but i’m sure this is just temporary

reminds me of when me and alya went on a break a while ago

adrienagrestebrand

the Great Divide?

lahiffesbeats

sajlfksdlkjf i guess? 😂

is that what you and marinette called it behind our backs lmao that’s so funny

adrienagrestebrand

yeah

lahiffesbeats

well the point is that we made iit thru that and we’ve never been better

and we’re not even actual soulmates. just pretty-much-basically soulmates haha

so im sure that whatever the problem is, marinette and her souldude will be just fine

adrienagrestebrand

you think so?

lahiffesbeats

yeah ofc

clearly marinette loves this guy a LOT

and im sure he loves her a lot too. i mean u know marinette, she’s awesome

not too sound like a cheesy inspirational poster or something lmao but love is always stronger than whatever problems u might run into, if u let it be. like, if u put in effort to work it out

i mean if you had some kinda problem w ur soulmate im sure u would work it out with her, right?

adrienagrestebrand

right

um. about that

i need to talk to you about something

lahiffesbeats

oh snap, alya and marinette are back

and lunch is ending in like 5 min

hold that thought ok? i’ll text u tn

feel better bro!! ily

adrienagrestebrand

ily

---

18:48

lahiffesbeats

what is UP broski

parents are out and im watching chris but now he’s glued to the tv watching some boring show about trains so i should be free for a while lmao

u wanna get online and play some ER5 or something?

or are u like on Models’ Bedrest™️ for the next 7 days

adrienagrestebrand

no im fine

is marinette ok?

lahiffesbeats

uh well i havent seen her since school but considering it’s only been a few hours im assuming she is still ultra devastated so

adrienagrestebrand

right

lahiffesbeats

alya did swing by to plunder my junk food hoard

stole my reese’s and my flamin hot cheetos 😒

but it’s for a good cause so i dont actually mind lol

hopefully having a burning hot mouth will make marinette feel a little better? haha

ok im online but i dont see u

adrienagrestebrand

before we play could we...talk about sometihng

lahiffesbeats

ofc

oh wait u were gonna tell me smth at lunch and i had to split!! sry, i forgot

whats up

adrienagrestebrand

uh actually let’s just play

lahiffesbeats

u sure? is something wrong?

adrienagrestebrand

um. well

lahiffesbeats

if something is bothering u, u can always tell ur best bro!

here for u, man

adrienagrestebrand

ok well, yeah something is wrong

it’s about my soulmate

lahiffesbeats

oh no, did something happen to her? is she ok??

adrienagrestebrand

no nothing happened, but …

no, i don’t think she’s ok

lahiffesbeats

what’s going on then?

adrienagrestebrand

we had a fight

lahiffesbeats

omg, you too? are there some anti-soulmate toxins floating around rn???

what’s the problem then?

adrienagrestebrand

um, i’d rather not say tbh

kinda personal

lahiffesbeats

that’s ok, u dont have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with

best bros still have boundaries🤙 all good

i cant really say much else without knowing the problem but im sorry you’re going thru this :( relationship problems really suck

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, they do

ok but actually...it has to do with what you said

lahiffesbeats

wait u really think there are anti-soulmate Vibes attacking u

is it hawkmoth

adrienagrestebrand

no no i meant about boundaries

lahiffesbeats

oh lol

what about them?

adrienagrestebrand

i guess...that is our issue rn. boundaries

lahiffesbeats

like uhhhh physical boundaries ?

woof ok. totally willing to talk to you about this but let me just gather my wits for a second lol

adrienagrestebrand

aaaa no no no that’s not what im talking about

i guess i mean like, emotional boundaries

lahiffesbeats

hmm. ok

gonna be honest man, im a little out of my depth when it comes to the emotional boundaries of Soulmates™️ lol

me and alya are in mad love but also we cant feel each others feelings just by touching haha

adrienagrestebrand

well this isn’t actually about that its more like…

well, do you think it’s ok to have secrets?

lahiffesbeats

from your soulmate? not sure how that would rly work ?

bc cant they tell just by touching u that you are hiding something?

so isnt it kind of impossible to keep a secret for a soulmate?

adrienagrestebrand

i guess...but also no

ok i have to stay vague but the thing is, i know she is keeping secrets from me

but i don’t know what they are

and that really hurts

is that wrong?

lahiffesbeats

wrong of her to keep secrets?

or wrong of you to feel hurt about it?

adrienagrestebrand

both, i guess

lahiffesbeats

ok first of all, no i dont think it’s wrong to feel hurt about it

you’re allowed to feel how you feel

i know your dad tells you that u can only feel a certain way but he’s full of crap ok

i am giving u permission to feel ur feelings alright

and u also have a right to say how you feel and let people know what you’re feeling

adrienagrestebrand

thanks, nino

lahiffesbeats

ive seen u bottle up ur feelings ever since ive known u and im afraid its gonna make u like emotionally constipated lmao so pop a pill and let it out ok!!

it is just now occurring to me how gross this analogy is, my b 😂😂💩

adrienagrestebrand

ha, it’s ok

lahiffesbeats

the point is, ur totally valid in feeling hurt about it

i know it must already hurt to hide her from the rest of us, but to find out she’s also hiding things from u….yeah, i can see how that would really sting

but as for whether it’s ok for her to have those secrets...i guess it depends on the secret, doesnt it?

adrienagrestebrand

does it?

we’re soulmates. we’re not supposed to have any secrets

lahiffesbeats

i know

adrienagrestebrand

does alya keep secrets from you?

lahiffesbeats

if she does she keeps them so well that i have no clue about them 😂

but nah, no secrets between us

adrienagrestebrand

so why would my soulmate keep secrets from me then?

lahiffesbeats

i don’t know, man

sometimes you have to keep things from people you care about, even if you dont want to

i mean, you dont want to keep your soulmate a secret from everyone you know, right?

but you do it for a reason. to protect her

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, i guess. but that’s kind of different

we have to keep that secret from everyone else together, but we’re not supposed to have secrets between *us*

so if she’s keeping secrets from me, that must mean she doesn’t trust me

right?

lahiffesbeats

nah, not necessarily

sometimes it’s nothing personal, it’s just a matter of boundaries. like i said

alya and i dont have secrets but that doesnt mean we dont have boundaries, u know?

adrienagrestebrand

like what?

lahiffesbeats

hm. ok

like, i cant read her articles (or her fanfics lol) unless she specifically asks me to

and she doesnt like it when i touch her laptop without asking first

and i mean you know i have a Thing about my hat alfkjdafkj

adrienagrestebrand

haha yeah

lahiffesbeats

i cant really explain why it bugs me so much for ppl to touch it w/o permission but it’s important to me that she respects that, even if she doesn’t understand it

which she does! and u do too

and it doesnt mean i dont trust u guys, like on the contrary u are the people i trust the most on the planet...it’s just like. a me thing. and the fact that you respect that boundary means a lot to me

not the same as a secret but idk

adrienagrestebrand

no it makes sense

ugh, i get what you’re saying and i know i shouldnt be upset but i just am

lahiffesbeats

hey. it’s ok. u can be upset

i gave u permission, remember?

you can be upset for as long as you need to be

adrienagrestebrand

but it seems like it’s not fair of me to be upset

lahiffesbeats

im not like an emotional expert or anything haha but tbh i dont care whether it’s “fair”

it’s how you feel, so it’s important

and she loves you so she will understand

adrienagrestebrand

so should…

what should i do?

i know my being upset made her upset and i dont want that because i love her so much and i dont want her to hurt but also... i dont think im done being upset yet

lahiffesbeats

that’s ok. take your time

adrienagrestebrand

but what if i take too much time and i lose her?

i dont want to lose her i just. need some space

lahiffesbeats

i dont think you’ll lose her

adrienagrestebrand

what makes you so sure?

lahiffesbeats

because she’s your alya.

she’s not going to give up on you that easily

and she loves and respects you enough to give you space when you ask for it, even if it’s painful

that’s what alya did for me during the Great Rift or whatever u called it

adrienagrestebrand

how did you know when you were ready to go back?

lahiffesbeats

well, i just waited until i felt like all the bitterness had faded away

i hated being bitter, especially at her. i didn’t like myself when i was angry. so i just waited till i felt like me again, i guess. like the guy who loves alya

i mean i never stopped loving her ofc. i could never stop loving her. and i was frustrated at myself for being so..needy, i guess? cause alya has such big brains and big talents and big plans and she one of the few who can actually do something with that, you know? she’s amazing and i’d never want to hold her back

but at the same time, yeah, i was hurt that she couldn’t make time for me like she used to. and it finally got to the point where i had to say “i cant do this anymore. not like this”

so i asked for some distance and i waited till i felt ready to talk. i didnt want to go back to her with any residual anger that could flare up and make us fight again

i mean, not to say that i wasnt hurt anymore or that i was ready to go back to things exactly as they were before

it was more like...hmm how do i say this

like i poured my anger into a bowl so i could look at it and understand it

so when i came to her again i could hold it up and say “i felt this, and i had reasons for it. i’m ready to try again with you but i need both of us to do something to make sure this bowl doesnt get filled up againt”

does that make sense?

adrienagrestebrand

yeah i think so

man you’re so good at emotional stuff...im such a wreck

lahiffesbeats

literally it’s no wonder dude...not like you had a shining example of emotional stability from your father lol

and listen. it might take a little while to pour it all into the bowl, and it might take even longer to empty the bowl. but it’s okay. be patient with yourself, and trust her to be patient with you too

that’s really what all of this comes down to, right?

that you guys trust each other, no matter what

adrienagrestebrand

of course

lahiffesbeats

hey it’s like what u said about marinette that one time, right?

when she couldn’t tell us who her soulmate is

u said it didnt matter bc you knew what kind of person she was and that was enough for u

something like that, my memory sux lol

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, that was basically it

and you’re right. i do trust her

i think i still need a little time, but. yeah

i just hate knowing that she’s hurting while im waiting around to be less hurt

i wish i could speed it up and just be ready but...im not yet

lahiffesbeats

hey, she’ll make it

it’ll all be fine

adrienagrestebrand

thanks💚

oh and btw please dont tell anyone about this. not even alya

this is like. one of those boundary things i guess

lahiffesbeats

ofc!

btw im really sorry i told alya the first time :( that wasn’t cool of me

we dont keep secrets from each other but sometimes you have to, if someone asks and it’s important

and that was important and you trusted me and i spilled anyway. im sorry, man :(

adrienagrestebrand

thanks for saying that. and it’s ok

i trust alya too it’s just

lahiffesbeats

the hat

adrienagrestebrand

yeah haha

i need this to just stay between the two of us

lahiffesbeats

you got it

adrienagrestebrand

ok but when i am ready...what should i do?

im worried it will just be painful and awkward to see each other again and i wont be able to fix it

im scared ive ruined everything

lahiffesbeats

u didnt ruin it! soulmates are stronger than a couple days off, right? haha

i mean yeah, it might be a little awkward at first, but you’ll find your rhythm again

or a new one. a better one that makes you stronger than before

adrienagrestebrand

is that what happened for you and alya?

lahiffesbeats

yep

that first conversation wasn’t easy, ngl

but it felt really good to say it all and hear her side and get on the same page again

i could tell it would take some time and work, but i also just felt like it was going to be fine

tbh, i was never that worried that we’d actually split up for good. and i don’t think she was either

we knew that eventually we’d be ok again. because both of us were willing to work at it

adrienagrestebrand

but what did you do? like, how did you work at it so it didn’t feel weird anymore?

lahiffesbeats

what worked for us was going back to the beginning

like, doing things we used to do when we first starting dating

to remind of us of why we fell in love in the first place. and what made our relationship so great before things got complicated

adrienagrestebrand

like what?

lahiffesbeats

like, we would send each other playlists with secret messages in them

we used to do that all the time but then we just kind of stopped

alya was the first to send me one again and man it just made me remember how much i love that girl

we still do that now haha i sent her one like 3 days ago

adrienagrestebrand

that’s really sweet

lahiffesbeats

what can i say. we are #relationshipgoals lol

let’s see, what else…

we played super penguino (like, actually playing the game but also we used to use that as a code for making out so we did that too hahaha)

we did a lot of parkour too lmao. we had gotten pretty good at it before but when we started it up again we were deeply terrible 😂 but now we’re pretty decent again

we rewatched that terrible scifi horror movie about the sentient pants alsjdfj i think you had to miss that one but marinette was with us the first time and she did NOT like it 😂

we even went to the zoo to visit the panther! many fond memories being stuck in that cage together lol

pretty soon things felt really good again, and it’s only gotten better since then

so, yeah. that’s my advice. do the stuff you used to do in the beginning

adrienagrestebrand

but we don’t have the same history as you guys

our relationship is new. we only clicked a couple months ago

lahiffesbeats

naw i mean from before you clicked

you said you fell in love with her a long time ago, right?

adrienagrestebrand

right

lahiffesbeats

so what made you fall in love? what did you do together?

And i know u man...u may bottle up your Sadboi but you are not great at keeping your heart eyes to yourself lol. So i know you told her you loved her in some other way, even if you didn’t actually say it out loud.

do that again.

adrienagrestebrand

ok

thanks, nino

i’ll think about it

lahiffesbeats

good

and hey. let’s get your mind off of this for a little while, ok?

i bet this has been weighing on you all day

wanna play? you can use my lucky ferrari

adrienagrestebrand

aw, thanks bro💚

also prepare to be destroyed

lahiffesbeats

suck it, agreste

lezz go 😎

---

 

22:37

adrienagrestebrand

hey marinette

i dont think i’ll be able to come over again to finish our project

sorry but im gonna be busy

marinettedesigned

oh, that’s ok!

adrienagrestebrand

would it be ok if i finished the report and you finished the poster?

marinettedesigned

sure, that works

adrienagrestebrand

ok. thanks

bye

marinettedesigned

how are you feeling?

nino said you were sick

oh sorry, do you have to go?

adrienagrestebrand

im ok, thanks

marinettedesigned

good. i hope you feel better soon

adrienagrestebrand

you too

nino told me you were going through something

marinettedesigned

um, yeah i am, but alya’s been a big help

i’m actually at her place right now

adrienagrestebrand

i’m really sorry

marinettedesigned

its not your fault

adrienagrestebrand

i’m still really sorry

marinettedesigned

that’s sweet of you

but please dont worry about me

just focus on getting better, ok?

take care of yourself, adrien

adrienagrestebrand

you too

marinette

Chapter 16: rose petals

Summary:

“I saw you standing out here and you looked kind of … lonely,” she said at last.

He thought about lying, but he didn’t feel like putting on his other mask, with her, like this. Instead, he leaned against the ledge and sighed. “I am.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m …” He swallowed, staring down at the rose in his hands. “Just missing someone.”

Notes:

tizzymcwizzy made some awesome art of this chapter!! see the link in the notes at the bottom

The lights were too bright. The orchestra was too loud. His collar was too tight.

Underneath his freshly pressed dress shirt, a bead of sweat trickled down his back. The clamor of the room surged over his head like a wave, pushing him down, down, down, where it was just him, his burning lungs, and his desperate thoughts. How was it that he could stand among hundreds of people and still feel so terribly alone?

(Because she wasn’t there. She wasn’t anywhere that he could reach.)

But Adrien was good at pretending. He forced his head above the surface and kept a steady, practiced smile in place as faces swam into view to remark on his height or his suit or his latest ad. Then they retreated back into the glittering sea of the party, none of them realizing that under the surface, he was fighting to keep himself from drowning.

(He was good at pretending—so why couldn’t he have pretended then? Faked a smile and moved on?)

He could feel Plagg curled up, asleep, in his inside jacket pocket. Almost automatically, his fingers found their way to his trouser pocket and closed around his Marinette lucky charms—both of them. Normally he only carried the one she gave Adrien, not wanting to risk her seeing the other, but lately he couldn’t bear to leave it behind.

(Because he didn’t want to pretend. Not with her.)

“Adrien, darling!”

A sickly sweet perfume engulfed him as he leaned in to kiss the woman’s cheeks.

“Madame Chapdelaine,” he said. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

She beamed. “What a handsome young man you’ve grown into. Although, of course, you were always handsome, even when you were just a little thing.”

“Thank you.”

She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper and leaned in, jewels catching the light. “I know you like to keep your personal life out of the press, but you can spill a little tidbit to an old friend, can’t you? Tell me. Is there a special lady in your life? There just has to be.”

His smile faltered for a split second. “No, Madame. Not at the moment.”

“What a pity! But I’m sure that soon enough there will be. You can’t be that good-looking for nothing.”

“I hope you’re right,” he said evenly. “Thank you for attending.”

She moved on to greet another “old friend,” and Adrien stood stiffly, fingers clenched around the lucky charms. He would’ve said the same thing either way, but now … now … maybe it wasn’t even a lie. Maybe he had been too unfair. Maybe he had taken too much time to fill the bowl like Nino said. Maybe he had lost Marinette for good.

She hadn’t seen Chat Noir in over a week, since the day he left her in the rain. But he had seen her every day at school. She was good at pretending too—but not good enough to hide from a practiced pretender like him. He could see the sadness in her eyes, the heaviness in her limbs, the strain in her smile. She told them all that she was fine, but he knew her too well for that.

He didn’t have to touch her to know how much he’d hurt her.

I did this, he thought as she stumbled through her half of their presentation.

I did this, he thought when she disappeared at lunch and didn’t come back.

I did this, he thought when he watched her walk home slowly after school, eyes glued to the sidewalk.

I did this. It’s my fault.

(The bowl was empty by day four, and now he was filled with nothing but the ache of missing her and the fear that he had broken something that couldn’t be fixed.)

For the millionth time, he pulled out his phone to stare at the last message he had sent her, nearly a week ago, after the last akuma attack.

notchatnoir

Check in?

He hadn’t planned to message her—he hadn’t filled the bowl; he wasn’t ready yet—but he paced anxiously around his room, waiting for her usual check-in text. The attack had been on the other side of town, so he had no real reason to worry, but of course he worried anyway.

(Because it was her. It was her, her, her.)

Finally he couldn’t stand it anymore. His fingers had flown and he’d stared at the little dots blinking at the bottom of the screen: marinettedesigned is typing. They appeared and disappeared three times before she sent a message back:

marinettedesigned

i’m safe.

(Safe, but not fine. Unharmed, but not unhurt. Intact, but not whole.)

(A dual harmony of relief and guilt flooded through him. He didn’t know what to say in return.)

“Adrien!” said a sharp voice.

Adrien spun around, nearly slamming into his father.

“Put that away,” Father snapped. “You’re neglecting our guests.”

Adrien shoved the phone back into his pocket. “I’m sorry, Father.”

“An apology is just an excuse. You know better. Give it here." Father shoved his outstretched hand toward Adrien, snapping his fingers impatiently.

Adrien’s brow furrowed. The reprimand was expected—he wasn’t even supposed to bring his phone to events—but Father was usually much more composed, even in his punishment. Especially in a rare public appearance like this one. Now that Adrien was closer, Father looked … less than his usual best. His signature striped cravat was wrinkled, and a few silvery-blond strands had slipped free from his sleeked-back hair. Underneath his glasses, his eyes somehow looked both unfocused and strangely sharp—almost wild—set off by dark circles underneath.

“Are … are you well, Father?” Adrien asked hesitantly.

“What?” Father’s eyes, which had been darting furtively around the room, settled back on Adrien’s face. “Yes—of course.”

“Are you sure?” Adrien dared to press. “Maybe you could use some rest. It’s been a while since you’ve made an appearance at an event like this. I can understand how it might be a bit overwhelming.”

He watched his father’s face with bated breath. He was overstepping, he knew it, but Father truly didn’t look well. And if he decided to leave early, maybe Adrien could take a break without him seeing (and keep his phone too).

Indignation flashed in Father’s eyes. He opened his mouth and Adrien braced himself for another scolding, but instead, Father let out a breath and closed his eyes.

“Yes. Yes, you’re right. I am unwell. Thank you, Adrien. I think I will retire early tonight.” He smoothed back his hair and opened his eyes. They looked bright and alert now, piercing Adrien with even more intensity than usual. “But first, tell me—how have things been going with your school work and other activities?”

Adrien blinked in surprise. “Um, everything’s fine.”

“Is that so? You aren’t experiencing any problems with your classes? Your friends? I sense that you are …” His eyes narrowed. “… distressed.”

Adrien swallowed. “Not at all, Father.”

Father seemed to consider him. Adrien felt as if he were being X-rayed. He hoped he was a good enough pretender to get out of this.

Thankfully, Father nodded. “Very well. Please continue to attend to our guests. Your bodyguard will drive you home in two hours.”

“I will. Rest well, Father.”

Adrien watched Father until he had disappeared. He glanced around. No one was approaching him, and luckily Gorilla seemed to be distracted by a platter of bonbons. Now was his chance.

He snagged some cheese from a nearby table for Plagg and then crept to the staircase in the back corner. With a final glance to make sure no one was watching, he sprinted up the steps two at a time until he reached the fourth floor.

As he expected, it was empty. He’d been to this venue before—he knew there was a balcony on this floor, out of reach of prying eyes and questions. He wrenched open the doors and let the cool night breeze rush over him.

Somehow, Plagg had managed to stay asleep through his grand escape. Adrien leaned over the balcony edge, breathing freely for the first time in hours.

As he stared down at the gardens below, it didn’t take any time at all for his mind to fill itself with Marinette. It was like a law of nature—that no matter what he did, his thoughts bent toward her like gravity.

Gravity. That’s what it was like. The pull he felt whenever he was around her. The need to move closer, closer, closer. To eliminate the gaps. No space left in between. Not just their bodies, but their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

He buried his face in his hands. No, no, no. That’s what got him into this mess. No matter how he felt, space was her right to have.

(How was it that, in the end, he had been the one to demand what he never even wanted?)

He ran a weary hand through his hair. He hadn’t realized how hard it would be to be around her, alone, as Adrien. He could manage well enough before, back when he loved her with a covered heart. But it was different now—it was so much more—and he had to build a dam to hold back all the love he had for her.

When they were around Nino and Alya, he could use them as a shield. Keep a body between them. He could be a little freer with his glances, his smiles, his praises. He could love her, as a friend, from a distance, and it was all okay. Surrounded by other friends, he knew his place, and he could stay in it.

But when it was just the two of them, it was hard to remember that he was supposed to be in love with someone else. His imaginary soulmate was already easy to forget, considering the fact that she didn’t exist, but she was especially impossible to remember when his actual soulmate was sitting just a half-meter away from him. (Half a meter—that was the minimum distance he’d decided was safe. Safe from accidental brushes and his own burning impulse to grab her hand and feel, for once, her skin against his, his soul wrapped in hers.)

It was hard to remember how he was supposed to act around Marinette when he wasn’t Chat Noir, who knew what her soul tasted like (sun-golden; rosy-pink). What was he supposed to do with his hands when they weren’t holding hers?

He had to remind himself that he was just a guest in her home. Adrien didn’t know that she kept the scissors in the bottom left drawer of her desk. He didn’t know about the little green stain on her rug, from where she’d once tried to paint Chat Noir’s nails. He didn’t know that there was collage of their webcam selfies tucked into the back of one of her binders.

Adrien didn’t know what her breath felt like against his mouth, warm and shimmering. How her lips could mold against his. How she could shift like a kaleidoscope and send him tumbling down a tunnel of her light.

Adrien didn’t know her like that.

(Adrien still thought that home meant a big, lonely bedroom with barred windows. Chat Noir knew better.)

But as hard as he tried to separate himself, Adrien was Chat Noir, and Chat Noir could not stand to sit a half-meter away from the love of his life and pretend she was anything less. He had found himself employing the same strategies he’d just been using to stay composed in front of his father’s distinguished guests—Gabriel-brand smile firmly in place, every word carefully selected, every movement calculated.

(He wasn’t supposed to have to do that with her. He wasn’t supposed to wear his other mask. But she was Marinette, and she disarmed him, and every time he found it slipping, he had to push it back into place—pull back, away, while she kept pulling him closer.)

A potted rose bush stood on the side of the balcony. His fingers skimmed over the petals. Pink. Her favorite color. He plucked a blossom from its stem and cradled it in his hands.

He used to bring her roses all the time. Just like he used to do for Ladybug.

(When did he stop? Why did he stop?)

He jumped as a shadow passed over him. A figure perched on the stone edge of the balcony.

“Too stuffy in there for you?” Ladybug asked, stowing her yo-yo on her hip.

“Uh, the people or the temperature?” Adrien asked.

“Either. Or both.”

“Definitely both,” he said. “I mean, rich people … am I right?”

She offered a lopsided smile. “You know you are rich people, right?”

“Yeah, but I’d give up my entire inheritance if it meant I didn’t have to go back in there.”

Her smile faded. “Am I disturbing you? I can leave.”

“No, no!” he said, a little too quickly. “Please, stay. I—the company is nice.”

She settled more comfortably onto the ledge and looked up at the full moon. “Chat Noir couldn’t make it to patrol, so I’m flying solo tonight. I figured … party like this, all these high-strung VIPs packed together … you never know when one of them might turn into a monster.”

“You mean, more than they already are?”

She laughed softly in the semi-darkness. Then the breeze carried it away, and she fell silent for a moment.

“I saw you standing out here and you looked kind of … lonely,” she said at last.

He thought about lying, but he didn’t feel like putting on his other mask, with her, like this. Instead, he leaned against the ledge and sighed. “I am.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m …” He swallowed, staring down at the rose in his hands. “Just missing someone.”

Her voice was hushed. “Your mother?”

He straightened in surprise. “I—well, I always miss my mother. But … I’m missing someone else tonight.”

He ran his thumb over the soft petals of the rose.

“A friend?” Ladybug asked.

His fingers went still. “No. She’s much, much more.” He glanced at Ladybug, silhouetted in moonlight. “She reminds me of Mom, actually. Gentle and warm and kind and good.”

“Why don’t you tell her, then? That you’re thinking of her?”

He swallowed. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because …”

Because he was the one who left. Because he had no right to be hurt in the first place. Because he’d asked for something she didn’t owe him and then had the nerve to be angry about it. Because he’d tangled her up in his own selfish problems and left her hurting when she’d done nothing wrong.

How entitled was he, to expect that she’d be waiting for him once he was done licking his wounds? Why should he expect forgiveness anyway?

“I’m sorry,” Ladybug said. “It’s none of my business. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Adrien said. “It’s just that I … screwed up. I really, really screwed up. And I’m afraid she won’t forgive me.”

“I’m sure she will,” Ladybug said.

“I don’t know. I really hurt her. And maybe …” He looked down. “Maybe I don’t deserve to be forgiven for that.”

“Adrien.”

He startled at the weight of her hand on his shoulder and looked up to a pair of blue eyes behind a red mask.

“You’re a good person,” she said firmly. “And even good people make mistakes. Whatever you did, it wasn’t unforgivable. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve second chances.”

Second chances. Vaguely he wondered whether she was remembering his time with snake miraculous, years ago. (Although of course she wouldn’t remember all the months they spent trapped in time together—only he could remember that.)

But mostly he was wondering how her eyes could look that bright, even in the darkness. How her voice could carry such warmth, even for someone she really didn’t know that well. How the touch of her hand, even through her suit, could feel like her miracle cure, flooding him with strength and calm and life.

(She was still the girl he’d fallen for in the beginning, and it wasn’t any wonder that he had loved her for so long.)

“Thank you,” he said softly.

She held him with her gaze a moment longer, mask crinkled at the brow. Then she withdrew her hand and looked back up at the moon.

Adrien’s eyes fell back to the rose blossom cupped in his palm.

(He’d stopped bringing her roses as soon as it began to mean something different. He'd made too many mistakes with Ladybug. He had come on too strong. He didn't want to do the same with Marinette. So he kept the roses at home and the words in his throat and the love in his chest—always there for her but in the wings, where she couldn't see it, where only he knew about it.)

(He didn’t want to hide it anymore.)

“You know, if it were me, and someone I cared about hurt me …” Ladybug paused. “I would forgive them.”

“You would?”

She nodded slowly. “I think I would have forgiven them before they were even done screwing up. If I loved them. If they had already shown me before that they were someone who was worth it.”

He studied her profile, lined in moonlight. There seemed to be an edge of sadness in her voice, and even from this angle, he could see it in her eyes. How had he missed it before? He remembered how distracted she been during the last akuma battle. How she’d barely looked him in the eye. How she’d left right away, before he’d even had a chance to offer their ritual fist bump. She’d seemed worried, and somber, and so, so tired.

Adrien swallowed. He wasn’t the only one who had to keep their distance from their soulmate, and clearly it was taking a toll on Ladybug too. He’d been so wrapped up in his own hurt and his worries about Marinette that he hadn’t realized until now how much Ladybug must be struggling. Guilt gnawed at his gut. He hadn’t been a good partner lately.

(Just another way his selfishness had gotten in the way. Another way he’d failed someone he loved.)

“You’re an amazing person, Ladybug,” he said finally. “Whoever knows you, behind the mask … they’re really lucky. And we’re all lucky too. To have someone like you keeping our city safe.”

She smiled, but then it gave way to a sigh. “I don’t know about that. It’s been three years, and we’re not any closer to stopping Hawkmoth.”

“Yeah, but he’s been slowing down, right?”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so.”

Adrien frowned. “There used to be multiple attacks a week in the beginning. But now there’s only one every couple weeks. That’s good, right?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “There are fewer akumas, but the attacks just get more and more intense. And it doesn’t help that so many of them are repeat victims. We have the advantage of knowing how we beat them last time, but it’s always a little different, and they’re always much stronger than the first time.”

“Even Mr. Pigeon?”

She chuckled. “He’s the exception. Honestly, I’m not sure Hawkmoth is ever really planning to reakumatize him. Mr. Ramier is just … very passionate about pigeons.”

“Understatement of the century,” Adrien murmured.

Ladybug’s smile faded. “You know, with every attack, I get more and more worried that maybe we’re not gonna win this time.”

“But you do,” Adrien said. “You always win.”

“We’ve won so far, but there are more and more close calls. And as long as he’s still out there, we’re not really winning, are we?” She ran a thumb across her yo-yo. “I get the feeling that he’s getting kind of desperate. That sometime soon he’s going to try something he hasn’t tried before. Maybe something he was afraid to try before.”

A shiver ran down Adrien’s spine. Ladybug had mentioned something like this to him as Chat Noir before, but it had been a while since they’d talked or strategized that much. They’d both been too focused on their personal lives, he supposed.

Ladybug shook her head slightly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be putting this on you. This is my job to worry about.”

“And Chat Noir’s,” he added.

“Yeah. And his.” She stood up on the balcony edge, smiling down at him. “I better finish my route. If you don’t go back into the party, I promise I won’t tell.”

“Ha. Much obliged.” He smiled back. “Thanks for keeping me company.”

“No, thank you.” Her smile turned wistful. “To tell you the truth, you weren’t the only one who was lonely tonight.”

“Then I’m glad we ran into each other.” Almost without thinking, he reached out to her. “Here. For you.”

She blinked at the rose in his outstretched hand. “Um …”

He glanced at it and blushed. “S-sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking! It’s—it doesn’t even have a stem; I just pulled it off one of those bushes and—this is really stupid. Just forget—”

“No! It’s lovely.” She took it gently. “Thank you.”

“Er, um … you’re welcome, I guess.”

She smiled warmly and turned, yo-yo in hand, but then she paused.

“Adrien?”

“Hmm?”

“You should talk to her. Whoever you’re missing. I bet she misses you too.”

Without the rose to distract him anymore, his fingers automatically found his lucky charms again. “I—but what should I say? What should I do?”

“Just be honest. Tell her how you feel. And, you know”—she looked down, a smile playing across her lips as she twirled the blossom between her fingers—“you really can’t go wrong with flowers.”

Adrien frowned. He could remember many, many times he had gone wrong with flowers for Ladybug. But … hadn’t Nino told him to go back to the beginning? To do the things he used to do for Marinette? It was different, this time.

(It was her.)

“Okay,” he said. “I will.”

“Good.” She looked up to offer him one last warm smile. “See you later, Adrien.”

“Good night, Ladybug.”

She threw out her yo-yo and jumped gracefully from the balcony. He watched her till the red of her suit was lost in the darkness.

“Finally. I thought you two would never stop yapping.” Plagg flitted out of Adrien’s jacket pocket.

“Morning, sunshine.”

“Yeah, yeah. Do I smell cheese?”

Adrien reached into his pocket and fished out the cheese he’d snuck from the party. “When did you wake up?”

Plagg shrugged as he scarfed down one of the wedges. “I don’t know. Sometime around ‘rich people are monsters.’”

“So … what do you think?”

Plagg swallowed a scientifically impossible amount of cheese. “What do I think about what?”

“Do you think Marinette will forgive me?”

Plagg paused, green eyes glowing in the darkness. “Kid, she’s madly in love with you. Of course she’ll forgive you. I don’t even know where you got this whole ‘I’m unforgivable’ idea from. Oh—wait. From the father of the year. Right.”

“But then … you don’t think I screwed up?”

“Of course you screwed up! Asking to read her diary? I may not get all of your weird human things, but even I know that’s off limits. I mean, you may be soulmates, but that doesn’t mean you’re both not entitled to a little privacy.”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped, his eyes finding the ground. “I know, I know. I … I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“No, of course—hey, look at me, kid. Look at me.”

He looked back up to meet Plagg’s eyes, which were uncharacteristically serious.

“You didn’t ruin it, okay?” Plagg said. “Take it from the master of destruction. I’ve been around for a long time—like, all of it—and the point of my entire existence is to destroy things. And if I’ve learned anything from that, it’s that pretty much anything can be fixed, as long as you have the right partner.”

Adrien nodded, gripping his lucky charms in his pocket.

“So you screwed up,” Plagg went on. “So what? Why should one screw-up mean you’re unforgivable? Do you really think Pigtails wouldn’t hear you out? Do you really think you two can’t fix what’s broken, together?”

Adrien let out a breath. “You’re right.”

“It’s like Ladybug just said. Good people make mistakes. That’s how life works. But good people also deserve second chances. And you’re good people, Adrien. I’ve had a lot of holders, and trust me—you’re one of the best. Maybe the best.”

Adrien swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat. “Really?”

“Really. You know, I’ve also seen my holders go through romantic squabbles that were way worse than this one, and honestly, they had nothing on how disgustingly, sickeningly in love you and Pigtails are.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Did any of them have soulmates?” Adrien asked.

“One.”

“Did … did it work out?”

“With her soulmate? Sure.”

“How did she do it?” he pressed. “Have a soulmate and be Chat Noir?”

“Well … she wasn’t Chat Noir for very long after they clicked,” Plagg admitted. “She gave up the miraculous.”

“Oh.” Adrien twisted the ring around his finger.

“But hey.” Plagg flitted to Adrien’s eye level. “You and Marinette are different, okay? You’re strong enough to make it.”

“Make it until what? Till Ladybug and I have finally defeated Hawkmoth?”

“I—well, yeah, I guess.”

He stared down at his ring. “That could be a long time, Plagg. It could be years and years.”

“I know.”

“Can I even ask that of her?”

Plagg searched his face. “Adrien, she’s your soulmate.”

“Yeah, but it’s just … it’s not fair to her.”

Plagg sighed. “I think you know by now that life isn’t fair. If it were fair, your mom would still be around. Your dad would give you the time of day. You would get to be a kid like you’re supposed to. There wouldn’t be a Hawkmoth. But … because life’s not fair, it makes the good things even better, right? You can find the things that make all the unfairness feel worth it. Like camembert!”

“Or … Marinette?”

“I mean, sure. I guess. If you want to be gross and sappy about it.”

“I thought that Marinette was the point of that whole spiel.”

“Ugh, she was! I was getting there. Whatever. I have cheese; you have people. Pigtails and Ladybug and Baseball Cap and all your other little friends.”

Adrien smiled. “And you.”

“Leave me out of this.”

“Absolutely not.” He snatched Plagg out of the air and squished him to his cheek.

“Hey, let go.” Plagg wriggled half-heartedly in his grasp.

“Deal with it.” Adrien stroked Plagg’s tiny, velvety head. “Seriously, thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be a lot less cool, that’s for sure.” Plagg relaxed against Adrien’s cheek. “To tell you the truth, I’m glad you’re finally coming out of this. I mean, you’re always kind of mopey, on account of your father being the literal worst—”

“Plagg!”

“—but this was different. It was hard to see you hurt so much when I couldn’t do anything to fix it. I just … I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks.”

Plagg slipped out of Adrien’s grip. “Okay, sorry, kid—I’m out of pep talk juice. Are we gonna go see Pigtails or what?”

Adrien glanced over the edge balcony to the lower levels, where the sounds of the party were still drifting up. “Sadly, I think we’re stuck here for a while longer. Gorilla’s probably freaking out right now. And I’m not quite ready to see Marinette. We’re just going to drop something off for her first. So we’ll need to make a special stop.”

“At the cheese shop on Boulevard Saint-Germaine?” Plagg asked hopefully.

“Nope.” Adrien picked up a fallen rose petal and smoothed it between his fingertips. “At someplace that smells way better.”

He held his jacket open, and Plagg, grumbling, retreated back into his pocket.

Adrien braced himself and opened the door to the empty floor. Just a little longer. Then he would leave his gift, and when she was ready, she’d know he was already waiting for her.

Soon, he thought.

Soon, soon, soon.

Notes:

thank you tizzy for this beautiful art im screaming !!!! clicky clicky it's very adorable 🥰

Chapter 17: prescription

Summary:

notchatnoir

marinette im sorry

im so so sorry

Notes:

a little while ago someone recced this fic on tiktok and said i update regularly and that has haunted me ever since. i do not want to make a liar out of tiktok user iwanttobecalledmlady so here i am updating twice in one week for the first time ever 😀 this will not be a regular occurrence tho asdlkfjs

ETA: artbynigit did some lovely art for this chapter—link is in the endnotes<3

21 hours ago

22:18

marinettedesigned

Thank you for the roses

They’re beautiful

notchatnoir

marinette im sorry

im so so sorry

can you forgive me?

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

you don’t have to answer right away

i know i hurt you and i didn’t act fairly and i should’ve

wait.

yes??

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

already?

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

you..

that’s it?

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

but... why?

don’t you need me to apologize properly?

marinettedesigned

you just apologized

notchatnoir

no i mean i had like a whole speech prepared

marinettedesigned

well. you are forgiven but don’t let me stop you i guess

let’s hear the speech

notchatnoir

um. okay

well, as you probably noticed, the bouquet i got you contains several different colors of roses:

marinettedesigned

ok yeah and tbh it looks kinda weird askldjfajs why did you choose that

this thing is a multicolored monstrosity

seriously, BLACK roses??? i know black is your thing but really chat……

notchatnoir

shh im getting there

marinettedesigned

did you just SHUSH me

i thought this was an apology???

notchatnoir

aaaa yes it is im sorry im sorry

can you just let me say my thing please

(i love you very much)

marinettedesigned

fine

go on

notchatnoir

ok like i said there are several colors. and i have a reason for that

remember how i used to bring you roses?

marinettedesigned

yeah

you’d bring them like every time you came haha

the vase on my desk was always full

notchatnoir

well i knew i wanted to bring you roses like i used to

but i was stumped on what color to get

ladybug used to be really picky about that

never red—that was too romantic

yellow was pretty safe, bc those mean friendship

pink was okay because those mean appreciation and sweetness

marinettedesigned

pink is what you always used to bring me

notchatnoir

because you are so sweet<3

also because it’s your favorite color

but idk the idea of getting you a whole bouquet of pink roses this time didn’t feel right

it. it wasn’t strong enough

it wasn’t strong enough to say i’m sorry

and it wasn’t strong enough to say i love you

marinettedesigned

ok but BLACK is ???

i didn’t even know there was such a thing as black roses

notchatnoir

there isnt

the florist colors them

marinettedesigned

really? i could just go in to a florist and say “yo im feeling extra emo today, make me a black rose to match my blackened heart🖤🥀”

notchatnoir

well no not any florist

but i know a guy

marinettedesigned

you “know a guy” ?? lol

notchatnoir

yeah he’s my go-to florist

im his favorite customer

marinettedesigned

really. a florist’s favorite customer is a 17-year-old catboy

notchatnoir

yes. i get special privileges

how else did i get a mutlicolored rose bouquet at 21h on a friday

marinettedesigned

uh. good point ig

notchatnoir

i used to buy so many roses from him to give to ladybug...practically kept the guy in business lol

he was so happy to see me again

ok but back to what i was saying

black roses mean new beginnings

that’s why i wanted to include them. so we could have a fresh start

marinettedesigned

aw that’s sweet

still makes my apology bouquet ugly tho :/

notchatnoir

u said it was beautiful

marinettedesigned

i was lying

i wasnt about to be like “thanks for this ugly af bouquet” lol

notchatnoir

hey!

i thought armand did a great job on them

but if you hate them that much then i will take them back 😤

marinettedesigned

that’s not allowed

you cant rescind apology flowers

they’re ugly but they’re MINE

notchatnoir

ok fine then keep them then

marinettedesigned

i will

just bc theyre ugly doesnt mean i cant cherish them

you’re ugly and i cherish you

notchatnoir

im catastrophically sexy but ok

and the apology speech i prepared is also very sexy if you would just let me finish

marinettedesigned

fine

but after what you put me through i think i am entitled to a little revenge teasing

notchatnoir

ok that’s fair

actually im relieved you’re teasing me haha. makes things feel normal

i missed that

i missed you

marinettedesigned

i missed you too kitty

more than i can even say

notchatnoir

im so sorry

i didn’t want to hurt you. i just didn’t know how to handle what i was feeling

marinettedesigned

it’s ok

i understand why you were hurt

and why you needed space

notchatnoir

that’s the thing though

i didn’t want space. i never want space from you

but i see now that that’s just a me thing

and you might need space from me, and that’s ok

we’re soulmates but we’re still different people

you’re allowed to have privacy. and im sorry i wouldn’t allow you that

i promise that from now on i’ll give you all the space you need

marinettedesigned

thank you

that means a lot

but for the record, i don’t want space from you either

it’s just….there are some things i cant tell you right now, even if i want to

ugh i know that doesn’t make sense and no wonder you were upset, i just

i dont know how to explain 😩

notchatnoir

it’s okay. you don’t have to

i trust you completely.

marinettedesigned

i trust you completely too

and i need you to know that

i’m not keeping things from you because i don’t trust you

it’s...it’s bigger than me. i don’t have a choice.

notchatnoir

i know exactly how it feels to keep secrets from someone you care about

im sorry for pressuring you. You never pressure me to tell you things you know i can’t, and i should’ve respected you the same way

marinettedesigned

one day we’ll be able to tell each other everything

notchatnoir

i hope so

but even if we never can, i’ll still love you. i’ll still trust you. you will always be everything to me

that’s what i meant with the ugly bouquet askdljfa

i couldn’t get you just one color, because i don’t just love you in one way

i love you in all the ways, marinette. you were my best friend before you were my soulmate, and i loved you softly before i loved you boldly. now that we’ve clicked it’s all kind of meshed together into one big, beautiful thing that’s more than just a feeling—it’s like an actual living part of me, and it grows and grows and i keep thinking at some point it will have to stop because there’s no more room inside me but im always surprised by how as it grows, i grow too, to make room for all the love i have for you

im sorry again for how i acted the other day. I think that was just growing pains. But my love has room now for the things you can’t share with me, and i would love you even if there were things you could never tell me

marinettedesigned

wow

now i can’t even think these flowers are ugly anymore

notchatnoir

ok speech complete!! yeehaw

what’s my grade

marinettedesigned

ok it’s rude to yeehaw while your girlfriend is crying

notchatnoir

what, you’re crying??

what did i do now im so sorry i can fix it just please tell me how i screwed up

marinettedesigned

YOU GAVE THE SPEECH THAT’S WHAT

you are going to say such beautiful heartfelt things to me and then ????

that was so beautiful and ugh.

i love you a lot

you know that, right? how much i love you?

notchatnoir

yeah. i know

marinettedesigned

good

i. um. i have an apology present for you too

notchatnoir

what? im the one who screwed up, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!!!

marinettedesigned

ok i know i just. i couldn’t stop thinking of your face

the way you looked when you said we were the only soulmates in the world who have secrets

and when you asked me to explain and you were waiting for me to say something and i couldn’t

notchatnoir

im sorry, i had unfair expectations and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about that. i was overreacting

marinettedesigned

no, you weren’t

your hurt was so real. i could. i could feel it

i know how much it means to you to feel trusted and valued and loved

and i couldnt stop thinking that i’d failed you somehow

to make you think that you weren’t

notchatnoir

marinette, you’ve never failed me

marinettedesigned

i just really really need you to know how much you mean to me, chat noir

the gift i have for you is kind of embarrassing and i sort of dont want to give it to you but i need to

so do you want it now or later?

notchatnoir

i can have it now?

marinettedesigned

yeah i mean i could give it to you in person but it is also deliverable over text haha

its not much but um

i wrote you a prescription

notchatnoir

uh

WAIT

like,,,,a prescription for constipation pills??? 👀👀👀👀👀

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

as in…..a love letter?

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

ok now i want it now please and thank you

marinettedesigned

oof okay

im not as good at this kind of stuff as you so you’re not allowed to make fun of me ok

notchatnoir

i wont. cat’s honor

but also im sure whatever you say will be the best thing i’ve ever heard

marinettedesigned

keep in mind that i wrote this earlier this week while i was um. distraught haha

and im not sharing this to make you feel bad, ok. i just need you to understand. in case you don’t. in case i wasn’t clear enough before

ok here goes

Dear Chat Noir,

I miss you. I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you

It’s only been five days since I’ve seen you and it feels silly to miss you this much. you could have been gone for five days because your relatives were in town, or you came down with the flu, or you were gone on a trip to the beach. but those things end and i don’t know if this one will because you said you didn’t know when you’d be back. you didn’t know so i don’t know and i can’t ask because what if your answer is the one i dread the most? or what if you don’t answer at all?

last night i sat on my balcony to watch the sun set and i cried because orange is your favorite color and you werent there to see it with me.

I miss your smiles—the big cheesy ones that you give when you make a corny joke and the soft sweet ones that i carry like a treasure in my pocket. i miss your voice. i miss your eyes. i miss your hands.

my hands feel so empty. what do i do with them? what do i do with my empty hands when you’re not here to hold them?

Did you forget? Did you forget that you are everything to me? Can you please look at me. Look at me long enough for me to remind you. Look me in the eyes so you can see I’m telling the truth.

I love you, Chat Noir. There is no one on earth I love more than you.

You are the person I think of when I’m falling asleep and you are the person I remember when I wake up in the morning. all day i am thinking of you. When i eat breakfast i wonder if you prefer strawberry jam or marmalade on your tartine. when im at school i wonder what you are learning about in class, and whether you like your teacher, and whether you doodle on the edges of your notes. when i see a funny post you’re the first person i want to send it to. when im on the metro i wonder which line you ride the most and which station you think has the coolest design (probably arts et métiers, but i feel like you could also pick something dumb like parmentier just because you like potatoes).

whichever is your favorite, i want to sit there with you and hold your hand and watch the people going by until our butts hurt too much from those uncomfortable plastic chairs. then we can get on the metro and ride it till the end of the line and i think at least once i will see you give up your seat for a tired mom and play peekaboo with her baby when he cries.

you are my person, chat noir. and even if we weren’t soulmates i don’t think i could be whole without you. if i never knew you then maybe i would never know what i was missing but the first time we met something in me started shifting to make room for you and now only you can fill me up again.

you’re the kindest person i know. and the funniest. and the bravest. you have the biggest biggest heart and i am selfish and i want it back because it used to be mine and i hope it still is because mine is still yours and it always will be.

when i listen to a love song all the hes and yous are you and my favorite playlist is labeled with a blank line that i will fill with your name when i finally know it.

please come back to me soon. you have to come back because i am not done loving you and i never will be. you have to come back because there are so many somethings i don’t know that you still have to tell me (what you put on your tartine, and your favorite metro station, and whether you doodle in your notebook).

I am here and I am waiting and I am keeping my love warm for you until you come back.

Love,

Marinette

notchatnoir

marinette

i dont know what to say

i just. really love you

marinettedesigned

call me? please

i miss your voice

 

notchatnoir started a call that lasted 2 hours and 12 minutes.

 

---

 

01:22

notchatnoir

hey marinette?

marinettedesigned

yeah?

notchatnoir

i forgot to tell you—

thanks for waiting for me

marinettedesigned

what do you mean?

waiting for you to come back?

notchatnoir

yeah

honestly, i've spent a lot of my life waiting for people, and...i dont know

i've never been the one someone else was waiting for

so i guess it's just nice to know that someone would

wait for me, i mean

and most of all that the someone would be you

marinettedesigned

of course

did you really think i was going to move on from my soulmate in one week? haha

notchatnoir

every day i thought about visiting you. or at least calling

but i wasn’t done being hurt yet and i hated myself for it but i just couldn’t talk to you until i was done with iit

and then after i was done, i was too worried that i’d screwed things up too much. that you wouldn’t forgive me

im sorry i took so long

marinettedesigned

it’s okay. it really wasn’t that long anyway

i mean, of course i was heartbroken and missed you like crazy but you asked for distance and i wanted to give it to you

notchatnoir

still. i shouldn’t have left like that. i shouldn’t have asked.

marinettedesigned

well im not saying you handled it the best way but you’re always too hard on yourself, chat

and i know this goes deeper than just my diary or whatever

idk, i don’t know much about your home life obviously but i always got the feeling that something was….off

the way you would come here and i’d see how exhausted and lonely you were underneath but then you would relax and smile for real and i kept thinking that being in my place must feel better than being in yours somehow

notchatnoir

because of you

you’re just. you’re home to me

marinettedesigned

i know

so i get why it hurt so much to feel like you were being shut out of your home

i never meant that

notchatnoir

i know

and I hate that i made you wait for me at all but

it really means a lot to me that you did

marinettedesigned

you are worth waiting for, chat noir

notchatnoir

i just don't want you to have to wait anymore

what if you have to wait for me for years, until ladybug and i have finally defeated hawkmoth, and after all that time you find out that i wasn't worth the wait?

i dont want that for you

marinettedesigned

did you ever think that about ladybug?

notchatnoir

what?

marinettedesigned

that she wouldn't be worth the wait, when you finally knew who she was

notchatnoir

no, never

marinettedesigned

then why would i think that?

chat, you are absolutely worth the wait

notchatnoir

how can you be sure

marinettedesigned

because i love you

notchatnoir

but what has loving me done for you, except hurt you?

love isn't supposed to hurt

marinettedesigned

yes it is

sometimes

alya told me that. she said that hurting is a part of loving

so if she has to hurt sometimes to love me, that’s ok with her

it’s ok for this to hurt, chat. the important thing is that we still love each other, right?

we both hurt each other without meaning to but we’re better now and if something else still hurts then we can hurt together

notchatnoir

ok. you're right

but let’s also try to not hurt, yeah?

marinettedesigned

deal haha

notchatnoir

can i come tomorrow night?

marinettedesigned

yes please

notchatnoir

18h? i’ll pick you up

marinettedesigned

are we going somewhere?

notchatnoir

you’ll see :)

dress warm, it’s starting to get chilly at night

marinettedesigned

ok

i cant wait to see you again 🥺

notchatnoir

me too

oh and by the way

i like raspberry jam on my tartine

and my favorite station is arts et metiers like u said (altho i will NOT stand for any potato slander 😤🥔)

and yes i doodle on my notebook

marinettedesigned

what do you doodle?

notchatnoir

um. little hearts mostly haha

cause i’m thinking of you❤️

marinettedesigned

aw. dork❤️

notchatnoir

tell me something i don’t know? before we say goodnight? (again. lol)

marinettedesigned

hmm

ok i’ll tell you one of the songs on your playlist

notchatnoir

the one labeled with a blank line?

marinettedesigned

yea

À peu près by Pomme

it makes me think of you

here i’ll send you the link

https://open.spotify.com/track/65h4yduK6bShDuahteRxgR?si=d8c5fe12167d4150

notchatnoir

listening now, hang on

“it was like gold, our story”

marinettedesigned

yeah

it is

notchatnoir

i think so too

marinettedesigned

love you

notchatnoir

love you too

marinettedesigned

see you tomorrow

RIGHT??

notchatnoir

lsdfajksfa yes yes yes

i promise

can’t wait❤️

marinettedesigned

good night, kitty

notchatnoir

good night, princess

 

---

 

02:16

notchatnoir

hey bug

sorry this is so late so just ignore this till morning if you see it

i was just thinking about you and i wanted to check in

luckycharmed

hey kitty, im here

notchatnoir

oh sorry, did wake you?

luckycharmed

no i was up haha

kind of a night owl

notchatnoir

oh ok. you should get some rest tho

luckycharmed

so should you

i dont care if cats are nocturnal you are a boy and you need sleep

notchatnoir

haha i know

i’ve just been worried about you

i noticed you seemed kind of out of it during the battle this week

i mean you did an amazing job as always!

you just seemed tired or sad or something

is everything ok?

luckycharmed

yeah i had kind of a rough week tbh

but im feeling much better now

thanks for asking💛

how are you doing?

notchatnoir

are you sure you’re ok?

i’ve been pretty focused on personal stuff lately so i feel like i haven’t really been there for you like i should be. i haven’t been a good partner and im sorry

luckycharmed

you’re the best partner, chat noir

and it’s ok, we’ve both been focused on personal stuff lately

notchatnoir

how are things with your soulmate?

luckycharmed

well. it’s tough. im sure you know that haha

notchatnoir

yeah

luckycharmed

but we’re working through it and we’ll be okay

i love him a lot and that makes it all worth it

notchatnoir

im glad

luckycharmed

i just hope that we don’t have to do this too much longer

the whole not touching thing? it sucks lol

notchatnoir

yeah it does haha

i want to kiss her so bad

luckycharmed

yeah asdkljfaj

and of course the secrets suck

must be hard for you to not even be able to tell her your name

notchatnoir

yeah it is

wait how did you know that?

luckycharmed

uh. know what?

notchatnoir

like, that i’d clicked with her when i was chat noir

so that she doesn’t know who i am

luckycharmed

oh um i guess i just assumed it happened for you the same way it did for me haha

notchatnoir

you clicked when you were suited up too?

luckycharmed

uh, yes. yep

notchatnoir

really? what are the odds?

luckycharmed

ha. i guess we have the same kind of luck

notchatnoir

guess so

well i hope he treats you well

you deserve the best

luckycharmed

thanks

he does. he’s wonderful

notchatnoir

i guess we both got very lucky in the soulmate department, huh

luckycharmed

yep

you have no idea

notchatnoir

he’s that great, huh

luckycharmed

yes he is

notchatnoir

there’s no way he’s better-looking than me though

im catastrophically sexy

luckycharmed

lol save it for your girlfriend

notchatnoir

well im glad things are good

but im here if you ever need to vent or something

we’re in the same boat, after all

luckycharmed

thanks, chat. that means a lot

and same for you

it’s been a little while since we’ve chatted like this, huh?

feels nice

notchatnoir

definitely

dont be a stranger, k?

luckycharmed

haha i wont

we better get to bed now

notchatnoir

you’re probably right

i need to get my beauty sleep

you dont get to be this catastrophically sexy without a good sleep schedule

luckycharmed

lol ok hot stuff

settle down before i lucky charm a flyswatter to smack you on the nose with

notchatnoir

ouch that’s mean :(

luckycharmed

pffft. go to sleep chat

talk to you later

notchatnoir

good night, milady

Notes:

art from artbyknigit—THANK YOU this is so cute 🥺🥺🥺

Chapter 18: rule number three

Summary:

His voice was almost a purr against her ear as she lay against his chest. “I want to break rule number three.”

She blinked up at him in surprise. He searched her eyes, asking for permission.

She stared back. Let out a breath. Wet her lips. “Okay.”

He arrived five minutes early, but she was already waiting on the balcony.

She had planned to crack a joke, play it casual, tease him like she hadn’t waited out here for him every night this week. But as soon as she saw him coming, all her previous intentions crumbled, and it seemed childish to pretend she wanted to do anything but hold him and never let go.

She barely gave him a chance to stow his baton before she threw her arms around him. His arms came around her automatically.

“Missed you,” she whispered.

He squeezed her tight. “Missed you too.”

She could feel his heart thudding steadily against her ear, and she breathed in time to its rhythm while something warm and golden slowly filled the hole he’d left behind.

(Almost. Almost.)

At last, he pulled back, offering the brown-paper smile she’d missed so much.

“No ugly bouquet for me today?” she asked.

He chuckled. “Not this time. But I have something else for you, and you’ll have to tell me how ugly it is when we get there.” He opened his arms. “Shall we?”

“Wait.” She stuck a hand in the pouch of her hoodie and pulled out a pair of gloves.

He scrunched his eyebrows under the mask as she tugged them on. “I know I said to dress warm, but it’s not that cold out.”

“I know. That’s not why I brought them. It’s so I can do this.” She raised her hands and cupped his cheeks. “I love you, Chat Noir,” she said.

The wrinkles in his mask relaxed. “I love you, Marinette.”

She pressed more firmly, squishing his cheeks together. “And you better not do that to me ever again.”

He blinked. “I—”

“If you say ‘paw-mise,’ I swear I will push you off this balcony.”

“I pr—”

“Or ‘purr-omise.’ Or ‘a-paw-logize.’”

He laughed, which made him look both incredibly stupid and incredibly cute with his face squished up like that. He gently grabbed her wrists and lowered her hands. “I promise,” he said. “I won’t leave again. You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Good.” She pressed a quick kiss between his eyes. “Okay, we can go now.”

He grinned and scooped her off her feet, her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

She squeezed them shut.

“And actually … hang on.” He tugged her hood over her head. “In case anyone sees us. Probably best that, um, you know, Hawkmoth doesn’t know we’re together.”

She opened one eye. “Aw, but I was gonna send him a wedding invite.”

He froze. “Wedding?”

Marinette was suddenly glad that Tikki had volunteered to stay in tonight. A blush erupted over her face. “That’s not what I meant! It was—it was just a joke! I mean, we’re only seventeen so of course I didn’t—like, I wasn’t actually—”

“Are you paw-posing to me?”

“Oh my gosh. Shut up.”

“Wow, didn’t realize you wanted to meow-rry me so badly.”

She groaned and buried her face in his neck. “Let’s just go. Please.”

“As you wish. Anything for my mew-tiful fianceé.”

“Chat.”

“Okay, okay. Hang on.”

She shut her eyes again, and then they were flying.

It had been a while since he’d held her like this. His arms felt strong around her as crisp night air whooshed past her ears, cooling her burning cheeks.

It didn’t take long before the wind stilled and his boots thudded against stone. He set her gently on the ground.

“Okay. You can look.”

She opened her eyes and gasped. He had transformed the rooftop into something magical. Dozens of candles winked at her in the semi-darkness, making golden shadows dance all around them. A blanket was spread out in the middle by a picnic basket and a stack of fluffy pillows. And everywhere she looked there were rose petals—pink, red, yellow, peach, orange, white, black—a kaleidoscope of color for all the ways loved her.

“So.” He cocked his head. “How ugly is it?”

“It’s … it’s beautiful.”

“Even though I used black roses?”

“Yeah.” She wrapped her arms around him again. “Thank you, Chat.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her hood. “It’s only what you deserve.”

She tipped her head up to look at him. “If I’d known this was gonna be so fancy, I would’ve dressed up.”

“Well, I think this hoodie is very flattering on you. Besides”—he grinned—“you can dress up at our wedding, right?”

She shoved him, face growing warm again. “Cut it out.”

He laughed and pulled her forward by the hand. “You hungry? My kwami is a big grouch and didn’t want to help me plan, but he did agree to pick out a few cheeses for us.”

“Let me guess.” She settled down onto the blanket. “Camembert?”

“Actually, no. He wouldn’t let us have any of his. But he did suggest this brie, which honestly kind of tastes the same to me, but he insists that it’s different.”

Chat Noir started unloading the picnic basket—cheese, fruit, pastries, bottles of juice.

“Sorry, it probably won’t be as good as the stuff from your family’s bakery,” he said.

“I think it all looks amazing. How did you manage to get all this ready since last night?”

“I do event planning on the weekends. In between hand modeling jobs.”

She laughed, but guilt twinged in her stomach. “It looks … expensive.”

He shrugged. “Good thing I’m loaded, then.”

“Chat. You shouldn’t have done all this.”

“I wanted to.”

She accepted the plate he held out for her. “It reminds me a lot of the surprise you showed me years ago. That night you visited me for the very first time.”

“I was thinking of that too,” he said. “That night has always been special to me, but I wanted to make a surprise especially for you this time. Something you didn’t have to just borrow. Something that would be all yours.”

“Thanks, kitty,” she said softly.

“Besides,” he said, “it’s been a while since we’ve gone out like this.”

“Yeah, it has. I feel like all we’ve done since we clicked is sit in my room and talk and cuddle and take turns crying.”

“Well, I like talking to you. And cuddling with you.” He paused. “I guess I could do with less crying, though.”

She laughed again. “Well, I’ll do my best tonight.”

“Me too. But no promises. ’Cause you’re so beautiful I want to cry when I look at you.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s true. Look, I’m tearing up already.”

“Stop.”

“What, am I being too cheesy for you?” He held up a slice of brie.

“I changed my mind,” she said. “Let’s go back to being broken up.”

“I’m afraid I cannot allow that. I made a promise to my soulmate that I wouldn’t leave her again. Not even a paw-mise. A regular promise. Legally binding.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “You’re such a dork.”

He grinned back. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Okay.” She poked at a macaron on her plate. “That night you showed me the surprise for Ladybug, I wrote about it in my diary.”

“Oh?” Chat swallowed the cheese with a bit of croissant. “What did you say?”

“I said that you were really sweet, and really gentle, and really thoughtful. And that I felt sad for you because … you deserved better than to have your heart broken.”

Chat Noir went still. “So did you.”

“And I said I hoped that someday you would find someone to love you. Someone who wouldn’t keep you waiting. Someone who made you happy.”

He smiled. “And neither of us knew that the someone would be you.”

“Yeah.”

There was silence for a moment. A light breeze swept over the rooftop, making the candles flicker.

“Do you remember the second time I came to visit?” Chat Noir asked.

“Uh, like, when my parents thought we were dating?”

“No, no, after that. It was snowing. You were standing on your balcony with a blanket wrapped around you.”

“Oh, yeah. You came by and made some stupid joke about how it was ice to see me again or whatever.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. It was stupid, but I thought maybe you needed to hear something stupid. You looked so sad out there in the cold by yourself. And I thought it was probably that boy again.” He paused. “Was I right?”

“Yeah, it was Adrien. But I wasn’t sad for the usual reasons. I was sad because … I knew it must be hard for him.”

“What must be hard?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Winter. Snow. It was right before Christmas, and I kept thinking about how much it must hurt to celebrate without his mom.”

He was quiet for a second. “Yeah. I bet that’s still hard for him, even now.”

“It probably never stops being hard.” She sighed. “I always felt so helpless when it came to that. Because nothing I did could ever make it better.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said.

“What?”

“I think you probably did make it better, even if you couldn’t fix it. I bet it meant a lot to him that you tried. That you cared. You have such a good heart, Marinette.”

“So do you.” She smiled. “That’s what I love most about you.”

“Not my killer sense of humor?”

“By ‘killer,’ do you mean that your jokes make me want to die because of how terrible they are?”

“Excuse me? I have it in writing that you enjoy my clownery. I screenshotted the text and saved it to no fewer than eight backup sources. So don’t bother denying it.”

She snorted. “Okay, fine. You’re funny. Sometimes. But you’re obnoxious all the time.”

“And catastrophically sexy.”

“Sure.”

“Can I get that in writing too?”

“Nope. And I’m changing the subject before your head swells up too much.” She popped a grape into her mouth. “Remember the next time you visited? It was snowy then too.”

“Yep. That was the first time you invited me in, right?”

“Yeah. Only you started babbling and acting so weird about it and embarrassed both of us.”

“I was just trying to be a gentleman.”

“You were like, ‘Uhhhh, I know I may come off as a bit, um, rogueish, hahaha, but I am really not the climb-in-through-a-girl’s-window-in-the-middle-of-the-night type.’ Oh my gosh, you made it so weird, even though it was a hundred percent not like that.”

Chat stifled a laugh. “I know, I know. I just, like, didn’t know the protocol, I guess.”

“You didn’t know the protocol of a friend inviting you to come into their house to hang out? I tell you what’s not the protocol—standing there awkwardly in silence for like thirty whole seconds and then shouting, ‘I GOTTA GO’ and literally yeeting yourself away as fast as possible.”

He was laughing fully now, loud and bubbly and irresistible, and she couldn’t help but join him.

“I had to drag a chair out there—and freeze my butt off—for the next, like, five visits—until you finally agreed to come in and not make it weird,” she said through her laughter.

Chat Noir clutched his stomach. “What? It wasn’t five! It was three, tops. And you didn’t give me a choice anyway. You just bolted out of your chair and said, ‘It’s too cold’ and stood there pointing at your window until I went in.”

“Yep, and then I began our longstanding tradition of me trashing you at UMS every single time, without fail.”

“And you were super annoying and smug about it too, like you always are. I can’t believe our friendship survived that.”

“Please. I knew you would come back for more.”

His laughter faded, and his grin went soft at the edges. “Yeah. I knew too.”

She tore off a hunk of croissant. “I think it wasn’t long after that night that you took me out for the first time. Well, the second time, I guess. If you count the surprise.”

“Yeah,” he said. “We watched the sunset from some rooftop in the seventh arrondissement so we’d have a nice view of the Eiffel Tower.”

“But you were so paranoid about me sitting on the edge.” She threw a crumb at him. “You made me hold onto your baton with you like it was one of those restraining bars on a roller coaster.”

“Safety first, princess.”

“Sadly, you couldn’t protect me from the greatest danger of all.”

“What’s that?”

“Falling in love with a catboy.” She grinned. “How embarrassing.”

He didn’t laugh. Just looked at her softly, the golden glow of the candles flickering over his face.

“You know,” he said, “I think even then, I was already falling in love with you. We must’ve watched the sunset from a dozen different rooftops after that, and every single time, I remember looking at you and thinking about how you were so much more beautiful than the view.”

She blushed, and he leaned in, his voice hushed.

“One time, the next winter, we were having hot chocolate on your balcony. And it started snowing, and your cheeks were all rosy, and snowflakes were caught in your eyelashes. And you looked at me and smiled, and even though it was cold I’d never felt so warm in my life. And I wanted to kiss you so badly, and I almost leaned in. I almost did it.”

She looked up through her lashes. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because … I didn’t want to ruin it. Because you didn’t love me back.”

“But what if I did?”

“Did you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know if I loved you yet back then. But I was definitely falling for you. Every time you came, I loved you a little more. And I wished you’d stay a little longer. And I missed you on the days I didn’t see you.”

“I missed you too,” he said. “Like, every minute I wasn’t with you. That’s why I made so many weak excuses to see you.”

“So did I.” She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the sky. “Remember all the times we tried to go stargazing? But it’s always too bright in the city to really see much.”

“Someday I’ll take you further out, like to the Bois de Vincennes, where the lights won’t get in the way.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Hey, did you try the chocolate-covered strawberries?”

“Huh?”

He held one out to her. She raised her hand to take it, but he brought it to her mouth instead. She blinked.

“Sorry.” A blushed spilled out from under his mask. “I was going to, um—”

“Oh!” She leaned in and took a hesitant bite. A piece of the chocolate shell fell into her lap. She tried to ignore it, chewing as quickly as possible so she could swallow. “It’s—it’s really good,” she choked.

Chat’s blush deepened. “Okay, I was going for romantic, but clearly that was not it.”

She laughed and wiped her mouth on a napkin. “Yeah, not so much. But watch this.” She picked up a macaron and shoved it unceremoniously into his mouth.

“Hey!” he said through the mouthful. “How is that romantic?”

She grinned. “’Cause it was just like our click.”

Chat swallowed and brushed the crumbs from his suit. “Minus, like, getting to touch each other and feel each others’ emotions and kiss and experience the mortifying yet exhilarating ordeal of being known and stuff.”

“Yeah. Minus that.” Something sank inside her chest, and they both went quiet for a minute, turning their attention to their plates.

“I wanted to ask you,” Chat Noir said. “Did you mean what you said earlier? About … getting married?”

Marinette coughed on a hunk of cheese.

“I mean, I know you were joking, but … were you also kind of serious?”

She felt her cheeks go red. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“I do.”

“You do what?”

“I know.” He took a breath. “I know I want to marry you.”

Her heart was beating fast now and she wondered if he could hear it in the quiet of the rooftop. “Kinda early to be talking about that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I just mean, like, someday. When we’re older. When Ladybug and I have defeated Hawkmoth. When …” He paused. “When I’m not Chat Noir anymore.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I … I guess I’ve never really thought about … you not being Chat Noir anymore.”

“I think about it all the time.”

“You—you do?”

“Yeah.”

She hesitated. “Doesn’t it make you sad?”

He looked down at his plate. “It used to. I mostly tried not to think about it. Becoming Chat Noir … it changed a lot for me, obviously. But not just because it gave me powers. Because it gave me freedom. And friends. Like my kwami. And … and her.”

“Ladybug?” she asked in a hush.

“Yeah. She was everything to me. I fell in love with her so fast and so hard and I had never felt anything like that before. It was …”

“Miraculous?” she suggested.

He laughed. “Yeah. Miraculous. Ladybug was the brightest thing inside my head and she made all the dark things feel … less powerful, I guess. Like as long as I had her, as long as I was Chat Noir, I’d be okay. She was always smarter than me, and more mature, so the superhero thing was always, like, a job to her. A duty. But to me—being this, with her—it was kind of … the best thing about being alive.”

Marinette swallowed. She’d always known that being Chat Noir meant a lot to him, but she never realized just how strongly he felt about it. He was right; as much as she loved being Ladybug, it was a duty for her, and even though the thought of giving it up made her sad, it was always what she wanted, in the end. To go back to being a normal girl with a normal life. Where she could just be happy, without so much weight on her shoulders.

“I used to hate the thought that eventually this would all be over,” Chat went on. “I mean, of course I wanted to defeat Hawkmoth, but I almost dreaded it at the same time. Because then I wouldn’t have a reason to be Chat Noir anymore. And I wouldn’t have a reason to be Ladybug’s partner. She wouldn’t need me.”

Marinette shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true. Ladybug will always need you. And you’ll always be her partner.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right. But I’m not scared of it being over anymore.” He smiled. “I have another partner now.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“I don’t want you to have to stop being Chat Noir for me. I don’t want you to be sad.”

“I said it used to make me sad. But it doesn’t anymore.” He caught her gaze. “How could I be sad about a life with you?”

A life with you.

She stared at him then, trying to see past the mask, past the catlike eyes, past Chat Noir, to the boy underneath it all.

(Another face swam into her mind—green eyes, blond hair, soft smile. A rock hardened in her stomach. Not now. Not here. Not anymore.)

A strange look crossed Chat Noir’s face. “Are you okay?”

She let out a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just … I’m worried that you won’t be happy if you have to give this up. That you won’t feel like your life is full anymore, I guess.”

“Marinette.”

She looked up.

“There is nothing that makes me happier than being with you,” he said. “I want the whole thing with you. The ring and the house and the kids and the hamster. Someday. Maybe I’ll still be a catboy on the weekends; maybe not. But either way, there won’t be a single thing missing, as long as I’m with you. My—my life will be full because … because you’re in it.”

Something stirred deep in Marinette’s chest. She had thought about domestic life with Adrien a lot when she was fifteen. She had planned out their wedding, their first house, their family (one girl and two boys—Emma, Louis, and Hugo). She would be a famous designer, and Adrien would model her clothes during Paris Fashion Week.

It was harder to picture a life with Chat Noir. To imagine his face without the mask. To see him in an apron instead of a black suit. But somehow, she didn't need to picture it to feel that it was real.

Her fifteen-year-old dreams felt so distant and fragile now—like they belonged to someone else. And in a way, they did. She was a different person now than she was back then. Before she loved Chat Noir. Loving him had changed her.

When she was fifteen, she believed in a future with Adrien because she could picture it, name it, plan it in little scrapbooks with photos cut out of his magazines. She had to be able to picture it, to believe that it could be real. But with Chat, she didn't need scrapbooks. She just needed a promise. And that was enough. On the day they first met, she'd learned to trust him with her life, and now she was doing that in a way that felt much more real. Her life—her future, her hopes, her dreams, her entire self—she trusted him with it. And it wasn't scary. It was the easiest thing in the world. Of course she could count on him to keep her dreams safe. It was him.

She couldn't quite imagine their first dance, anniversaries, birthdays. She could hardly imagine his hands without the gloves. But she knew what it would feel like to hold them, when they were both old and wrinkly. She could feel what it would be like to love him all her life.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Let’s get married. I mean, not now, obviously. But … someday.”

“Someday,” he repeated. His face relaxed into a smile, but then it faded. “But … what about before someday? I don’t know how long we’ll have to go on like this before we can be together like normal. Before we can be soulmates again.”

“I already told you I would wait,” Marinette said. “As long as I have to.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m absolutely sure. We’re in this together.”

He smiled. “It’s kind of like what Ladybug and I always say to each other. ‘You and me against the world.’”

“Exactly.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it in a familiar pattern.

“Our knock?” he asked.

“Yeah. I figured it out.”

“Oh?”

“It’s Morse code, isn’t it? It means friend.”

Chat Noir nodded. “I just—I don’t know. It felt right at the time.”

She picked up a yellow rose petal and smoothed it between the fingers of her gloves. “It still does.”

“Yeah. I think so too.”

The sound of a violin drifted up from the street below. Chat Noir looked up, head tilted to listen. Then he stood in one fluid motion and held out a hand.

“Dance with me?”

She took his hand and he pulled her up.

“I’m a terrible dancer,” she warned.

“Well, luckily, I’m an excellent dancer. Practically a professional.”

She snorted. “I don’t think moonwalking will help you here.”

He pressed a hand to the small of her back. “Moonwalking always helps.”

It turned out that he was a good dancer. He swept her along in time to the upbeat tune of the violin, never missing a step. Marinette, on the other hand, missed plenty of steps, but he didn’t seem to mind. He caught her when she stumbled and then guided her back into the flow of the dance, turning them round and round the rooftop, candles fluttering in their wake.

“Where did you learn to dance like this?” she asked.

He shook his head with a smile. “Just another secret talent you didn’t know I had.”

She laughed as he twirled her around. Then he leaned forward, tilting her backward into a dip.

For a moment, he held her there. His face was just a few inches from hers. She stared up at him, breathless. His gaze flickered to her lips.

“If—if we were like regular people,” he whispered, “this would be the part where I kissed you.”

Do it, she thought.

He leaned in closer, golden hair shifting over his forehead. Her heart thudded in her chest. She knew they shouldn’t, but she didn’t care. She could see the candlelight reflecting in his eyes, the pupils full and round, and his lips were so close that her skin tingled. Her eyes slipped closed, and she waited for the warmth of his lips on hers, of his soul filling her up to the brim.

But then he was retreating and the world went upright again. Pink dusted his cheeks under the mask.

“Sorry,” he said.

She wasn’t quite sure if he was sorry for not kissing her or sorry for almost kissing her, but it didn’t really matter now.

“It’s okay,” she said. But she couldn’t stop a cold wave of disappointment from washing over her.

The violinist’s song morphed into something slower—almost longing. Chat Noir pulled her close and swayed with her.

“Hey, Chat,” she said. “What if I wanna dip you?”

He laughed. “Go for it.”

“You’re too tall. Bend down so I can twirl you first.”

He ducked under their arms so she could spin him around. Then she leaned him back into a dip and lingered for just a moment before she kissed the nose of his mask and brought him back up.

“I’m tired of wishing things were different,” she said. “I just like being with you.”

“Me too.”

He pulled her back in and she leaned against him, breathing him in.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said.

“I … have my mother’s eyes.”

“Oh? Your mom has cat eyes too?” she joked.

“Yep. And cat ears.”

He was quiet for a minute, turning them in a slow circle. “I wish you could meet her,” he said finally, voice hushed. “She would love you.”

His sadness sloshed over her like gray seawater, and a bittersweet ache swelled in her chest. She held him tighter.

“I will,” she said. “I’ll meet her. Someday.”

He swallowed. “Yeah.”

She didn’t know how long they slow danced on the rooftop. When the violin stopped, they swayed to the hum of evening traffic.

Finally he gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s getting late. I should take you back.”

“Okay,” she said reluctantly.

They packed up the picnic basket and blew out the candles one by one. Then he lifted her into his arms to take her home.

When they landed on her balcony, he tried to say goodnight, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Come in,” she said, tugging him toward the window.

“I can’t. I have to clean up.”

“It can wait, can’t it? Stay. At least a little longer.”

He let out a sigh that melted into a smile. “Okay.”

She slipped through the skylight, glancing around to make sure Tikki was hidden, and then beckoned him in. He leaned back against her pillows and she settled into his arms.

“Mmm. Back to sitting in your room and talking and cuddling, huh?” he murmured.

“Guess so.”

“Well, I’m not complaining.” He linked their fingers together. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Hmm. When I was six, my parents took me to Disneyland, and I was so scared of one of the characters that I cried.”

He chuckled. “Really? Which one?”

“Uh, I forget his name. The Hunchback’s evil dad or whatever.”

“His name is Quasimodo.”

“Right. Well, Quasimodo was very scary and made me cry.”

“No, Frollo made you cry.”

“What?”

“Frollo is Quasimodo’s evil dad.”

“Whatever.” She poked him in the ribs. “Didn’t know you were such a Disney nerd.”

“This is pretty basic stuff. Besides, Disney did not invent The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It’s a novel by Victor Hugo.”

“You read it?”

“Uh, well, I tried to. I didn’t get very far. He kept rambling on about architecture and stuff. Plus, there weren’t even any singing gargoyles.”

“What a tragedy.”

“Seriously. They were the best part of the movie.”

“To be honest, I don’t even remember them. I think I saw the movie one time when I was, like, five.”

“Marinette, you literally live across the street from the Notre Dame.”

“So?”

“So, we could probably go out on your balcony right now and see Quasimodo doing a backflip on a flying buttress.”

She laughed. “A backflip?”

“Yeah. For a hunchback, he’s surprisingly acrobatic.”

“Well, since he’s my neighbor, we should go pay him a visit,” she said. “And if he’s not there, I guess we’ll just have have to go to Disneyland and you can introduce me to him there. Since you know him so well.”

“Deal.” He paused. “That would be really fun, actually. I’ve never been to Disneyland.”

“Yeah? Then we definitely have to go. Someday.”

“Someday,” he agreed.

“Okay. Your turn,” she said. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

He turned her hand over and traced her fingers with a claw. “I play the piano.”

“Are you any good?”

“I’m decent. I’ve been playing since I was little. I’d play something for you right now if you had one.”

“I’d like that,” she said.

“Your turn. Tell me something.”

She thought about telling him about her very first sewing project, or how she tripped face-first into a wedding cake when she was ten, or the time she played a talking tree in a school play. But instead she found herself admitting a secret she hadn’t planned to tell.

“I really thought you were going to kiss me,” she whispered. “On the rooftop. I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted to break the rules with you. I wanted it to be over. I wanted—I wanted ‘someday’ to start today.”

He didn’t answer for a long time, long enough that she worried she had said something wrong, that she’d ruined what they had just fixed.

“Marinette?” he said at last.

“Yeah?”

His voice was almost a purr against her ear as she lay against his chest. “I want to break rule number three.”

She blinked up at him in surprise. He searched her eyes, asking for permission.

She stared back. Let out a breath. Wet her lips. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She closed her eyes and squeezed him tighter, burying her face in his suit. “I’m ready.”

He took a steadying breath. “Claws in.”

She felt the familiar rush of magic—under her this time instead of over her.

“Kid, this isn’t a good idea,” said a voice. Plagg’s.

“I know, but … can’t I just …” His arms tightened around her. “Give us a minute. Please. Just give us a minute.”

Plagg sighed. “Fine. But be careful.”

He left them alone. It was silent in her room except for the sound of their breathing. She listened to his heartbeat through something soft and thin—a cotton t-shirt, she guessed.

It’s him, she thought. This is Chat Noir.

Slowly, she sat up, keeping her eyes shut tight. She could hear his uneven breathing, but he said nothing. She reached out and placed a glove on his chest, searching for a bell that wasn’t there.

“Come closer,” she said.

He sat up. She reached for his hands but couldn’t find them until he grabbed hers and squeezed. She ran the tips of her fingers over his. No claws. No gloves. Just his hands.

It was hard to believe they were the hands that destroyed, but easy to remember they were the hands that gently brushed her hair or touched her lips. Hands made to hold. To be held.

Her gloves found their way up his arms to his shoulders, his neck, his ears. She buried her fingers in his hair. No cat ears.

She traveled down to his face next, bracing her hands on either side. She skimmed her thumbs over his cheekbones, his forehead, his browline, his nose, his eyelids—all the places normally covered by the mask. He shivered.

She saved his lips for last, tracing their shape slowly with her fingertip. He parted them to let out a ragged breath.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she whispered.

He was quiet for a second, no doubt casting around for a small scrap that wouldn’t give too much away.

“I like passionfruit,” he finally said.

Marinette stiffened. Just like Adrien, she thought. She remembered how she used to bake a single passionfruit macaron every Sunday just in case she got the chance to give it to him.

Why did she still remember? Why did she still care?

But Marinette had always been a collector. She saved mementos in her scrapbooks and the box under her desk. Tucked tidbits in the corners of her mind. Pinned them underneath her heart.

(Like Adrien’s fifth name, and the fact that he played piano, and spoke Chinese, and had family in England.)

(He’d been a lonely child. He liked sour candies. He doodled hearts in his notes. He had never been to Disneyland. He wished she could meet his mom.)

(As she swallowed down the lump in her throat, it occurred to her that this harmless game might be the most dangerous one she’d ever played.)

“You okay?” Chat asked.

“Yeah,” she lied.

Ninety-three, ninety-three, ninety-three.

(She thought she had buried that love a long time ago. But maybe it had just been sleeping.)

(It was awake again now.)

“Marinette?”

Ninety-three, ninety-three, ninety-three.

“What’s wrong?”

(But what if Chat Noir was the seven? If the seven was the ninety-three it would all be the same in the end … but if it wasn’t, she had to give him all of it. Everything for the seven. Every bit for him.)

(But it turned out she’d kept her old love safe in a pocket of her heart. So while the rest of it belonged to the seven, there was still that pocket of betrayal that belonged to the ninety-three. And if they were soulmates for real—if he could touch her—he would know. He would know that she was the worst person in the world … for still loving someone who wasn’t him.)

She ducked her head so he couldn’t see her tears.

“Marinette,” he said again. “Tell me what you’re thinking. Please.”

“I—” Her voice cracked. She swallowed. “I worry that my love is missing you somehow.”

He froze. “What do you mean?”

She kept her head bowed. “I—I want my love to wrap all the way around you. Completely. So there’s not a single piece of you I’m missing. But there’s still so much about you I don’t know. So I worry there are pieces I’m missing. Parts of you I can’t love yet. Ways … ways my love is failing you.”

“What?” He sounded almost indignant. “No, no, you’re not—hang on.”

She kept her eyes squeezed shut while he adjusted his position.

“Plagg? Plagg. Claws out.”

She sensed a flash of green light through her eyelids.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.”

He took her face in both hands. She opened her eyes, and the sight of him soothed like a balm, like a breath released from aching lungs.

All him. Chat Noir.

“Don’t worry about that,” he said firmly. “You’re not missing me. I’ve got it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You know me like no one else does. So you love me like no one else does. I don’t feel like there’s anything missing from the way you love me. Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

She sniffed. “What do you mean?”

He lowered his hands. “You think of me as this, like, whole that needs to be enveloped completely in order to be truly loved. But the truth is … I’m not whole. Not without you. You are the missing pieces. You fill in the cracks. Loving you, being loved by you … it’s not just something about me. I think it’s part of what makes me me.”

Her breath caught in her throat.

“And I know that probably sounds weird and, like, overly dramatic and sappy,” he said quickly. “And obviously people can feel whole and fulfilled without romantic love, but I just … not me. Not now. I could never go back to who I was before you.”

He took a breath. “What I mean is that … I don’t know, it’s like the version of me I was before I met you wasn’t quite complete yet. Because—because I didn’t know what it was like to be loved this way. And I hadn’t learned how to love someone else the way I love you. But now I do know. And I feel the most complete I’ve ever been. Because of you.”

With that, Marinette broke. Chat stroked her hair as she buried her face in his chest and cried.

She should be glad he didn’t know how awful she was. But he was supposed to know. He was supposed to know everything. She didn’t know which was worse.

“I’m sorry,” she choked. “I wasn’t supposed to cry.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

I’m sorry, she wanted to say. I’m so, so sorry. I want to want only you. I want him out of my head. I want to be only yours.

But she killed the words before they reached her lips, and the ghost of everything she couldn’t say hung between them like fog.

“I hate this,” Chat whispered. “But I love you.”

“Me too,” said Marinette. “I love you so, so much.”

And I wish you were the only one.

“I wanted to kiss you too,” he said. “I want our someday now.”

“It’s still ours,” she said.

I’m still yours.

“Yeah.”

Still yours.

Notes:

me writing this fic and trying to mix angst, fluff, humor, and romance in every chapter sadljkfaslkjf

P.S. The next chat chapter is probably gonna be really short so I should have it up soon. Thank you for reading 🥺💜

Chapter 19: princess.mp3

Summary:

notchatnoir

i made you something

princess.mp3

Notes:

this chapter was gonna be like 10 lines total but oops lol

ETA: dahlwatchesmiraculous made amazing art inspired by this chapter!! see it at the end 🤠

4 days ago

18:12

notchatnoir

marinette i need to ask you

are your emotional needs being met in our relationship?

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

i read a book

im trying to be a good boyfriend

so would you say that your emotional needs are being met?

marinettedesigned

my emotional needs? yes

my smooching needs? no

notchatnoir

i too am extremely kiss deprived

but hang on i can fix that

i just blew a kiss at my phone did u get it

marinettedesigned

aljkfdsd you’re so stupid

……....yes i got it did u get mine

notchatnoir

yes❤️

ok what can i do better to meet your emotional needs?

marinettedesigned

why does this feel like a survey lol

notchatnoir

ooh hang on

please stand by. your survey is being prepared

marinettedesigned

ajlskdfd

notchatnoir

Question 1: In your relationship with super suave, super loaded, superhero Chat Noir, how often do you feel that your emotional needs are being met?

a. all the time

b. most of the time

c. sometimes

d. never :(

marinettedesigned

slkjdfasjlf chat

notchatnoir

Error. Please select an answer.

marinettedesigned

ok A

notchatnoir

Response recorded. (good<3)

Question 2: One a scale of 1 to 10, how cute is Chat Noir’s butt?

marinettedesigned

1

notchatnoir

Error. Please select the correct answer.

marinettedesigned

LSJKDJLKF

10

notchatnoir

Error. Please select the correct answer.

marinettedesigned

11

notchatnoir

Error. Please select the correct answer.

marinettedesigned

JFLKDJLKKLSDFIUSLFLJF 10 million

notchatnoir

Response recorded. (🍑❤️)

Question 3: Which of the following do you feel best describe Chat Noir?

a. cat-astrophically sexy

b. purractically purrfect in every way

c. the most paw-some boy-fur-end ever

d. paw-sitively hiss-terical

e. claw-fully cute :3

f. all of the above

marinettedesigned

wow

that was physically painful to read

notchatnoir

Error. Please select an answer.

marinettedesigned

g. paw-bnoxiously cringe

notchatnoir

Response recorded.

marinettedesigned

KDFJSJLKF didnt expect that lmao

notchatnoir

im more self-aware than u think

marinettedesigned

that actually makes it way worse u know

that you are being intentionally annoying

notchatnoir

i wouldnt call it intentionally annoying as much as i would call it purr-posefully insufferable<3

marinettedesigned

laksjdfaj whYYYYY

other people get to have normal boyfriends

who can utter a complete sentence without making a stupid cat pun😭

i feel like it’s gotten WORSE somehow lately

like, you were way less obnoxious about it for a while and suddenly you’re cranking it up to an 11 again asfdkajsf

notchatnoir

i am simply reminding you of the early days of our friendship, when my overwhelming charisma and irresistible charm first made u fall madly in love with me<3

marinettedesigned

lol your “overwhelming charisma” was not the reason

notchatnoir

but u are not denying that u are madly in love with me….hmm...👀

marinettedesigned

oml you’re so stupid

notchatnoir

yes you already told me that

and thanks 😌

Question 4: True or False: You are madly in love with Chat Noir.

marinettedesigned

akjslfd

true

notchatnoir

AAAAAAAAA

i knew it

Question 5: Chat Noir is also madly in love with you.

marinettedesigned

Is that a question?

notchatnoir

No but it’s an important part of the survey

marinettedesigned

lol ok then, duly noted

notchatnoir

Question 6: Do you daydream about kissing Chat Noir as often as he daydreams about kissing you

marinettedesigned

idk, it depends on how often he daydreams about it

notchatnoir

constantly

he’s thinking about it rn actually

marinettedesigned

jsdflajf

same

notchatnoir

you know what i keep thinking about

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

the night we clicked

i didn’t kiss you goodbye

it was my last chance and i didn’t do it

marinettedesigned

you didn’t know

notchatnoir

i really thought he was gonna say yes

i really thought it would all be over, and you would know who i am, and i could tell you everything

i thought everything would be perfect

marinettedesigned

me too

notchatnoir

if i’d known our first kiss would be our last i would’ve kissed you one more time

marinettedesigned

i’ve thought about that too

i mean, i know it doesn’t make a difference now but

if i had known

i would’ve asked you to stay that night

i would’ve kissed you again and again

i would’ve spent all night holding you and feeling you and memorizing you so i’d never forget

notchatnoir

i still remember

i still remember how you feel

but im scared of forgetting

marinettedesigned

me too

notchatnoir

when i can touch you again i swear i’ll never forget to kiss you goodbye again

marinettedesigned

i hope there won’t be too many goodbye kisses

i hope there will be more hello kisses

and good morning kisses

and just because kisses

notchatnoir

it’ll never be just because

it will always be because i love you

you know that, right? that i love you?

like you really, really know it?

marinettedesigned

is this another survey question

notchatnoir

yes

Question 7: Do you really, really know how much Chat Noir really, really loves you?

marinettedesigned

i know it

Question 8: Does Chat Noir really, really know how much I really, really love him?

notchatnoir

yeah

in fact he never stops thinking about it

and how lucky he is because of it

marinettedesigned

we really are lucky

notchatnoir

yeah, we are

marinettedesigned

you know, it may not be perfect like we thought it would be

but i wouldn’t trade it for anything

notchatnoir

me either

marinettedesigned

i just want to be with you, however i can

notchatnoir

same

you make everything worth it

marinettedesigned

so does that mean you’ll leave me a good review on RateMySoulmate.com?

notchatnoir

absolutely

100000 stars

marinettedesigned

goody, thanks 😌

chat? did you have to go?

notchatnoir

Anonymous Reviewer, RateMySoulmate.com

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is THE best person I’ve ever known. The kind of person who makes you better just by knowing her. She’s incredibly kind and thoughtful. She goes out of her way to help people, and she makes everyone around her feel good. Her smile is literally magic. It it could be bottled up it would cure every ailment in existence. She’s so brilliant and powerful and talented that she makes everyone else look like a slug in comparison, except she’s so full of encouragement and pure positive energy that she actually can help you turn into a butterfly instead. If everyone on earth were just a little more like Marinette, the world would be perfect. Also she is so cute that I want to open my window and scream about it. She has the biggest most beautiful heart in the world and the person who has it is the luckiest person alive. And I would be very jealous of them except they are me 😌 That’s right, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is MY best friend-girlfriend-soulmate and yes I will be bragging about that for all eternity because she is amazing and I love her more than anything!!!

marinettedesigned

chat

you have to stop doing that

notchatnoir

doing what

marinettedesigned pinned a message to this channel

marinettedesigned

writing me entire love letters over text

it’s not fair. i don’t like it

notchatnoir

why did you just pin it then

marinettedesigned

none of your business

notchatnoir

that’s rly rich of u considering that you were the one who did it last time

and it was way longer and super heartbreaking and beautiful and it made me cry and then you made me call you and i couldn’t speak properly for like 10 minutes

i mean. hypocrite much :/

marinettedesigned

that’s irrelevant

notchatnoir

this wasn’t even me

it was an anonymous reviewer on RateMySoulmate.com

i guess you’re popular over there

marinettedesigned

ok well please pass this on to the anonymous reviewer: 💋

notchatnoir

ok it was me im anon and i want that kiss

marinettedesigned

ok then here u go

💋💋💋

notchatnoir

Anonymous Reviewer

ETA: she,,,,smooCh,,,,,,hnnnng

marinettedesigned

aldskfas

notchatnoir

ack noooo they’re calling me :( i have to go

quick quick

tell me something i don’t know?

marinettedesigned

the lip balm i use is coconut flavored

💋

notchatnoir

SJLDFLSKJ that’s almost mean

marinettedesigned

tell me something before you go!

notchatnoir

uh

ngl now all i can think of is your coconut lip balm aljskdfjfs

marinettedesigned

slkafadsjfk

another kiss for the road then 💋

notchatnoir

marineeeette omg im gonna lose my mind if i keep thinking about your kisses 😭

marinettedesigned

wow what a shame 💋💋

you owe me two somethings next time then!!

notchatnoir

ok ok

i love you

marinettedesigned

love you too

ttyl

notchatnoir

<3

---

 

20:22

notchatnoir

ok i cant talk rn and im not supposed to have my phone out but just real quick i thought of a something to tell you

when i was like 7 i found a snail and i named him marcel and i thought he was the best snail ever and i tried to feed him and give him a bath and stuff

marinettedesigned

sdkjfasljf cute

notchatnoir

my father caught me and yelled at me for bringing him in the house but then marcel died (due to me smothering him in love and unnecessary care lol) and i cried so much and my mom said we should have a funeral for him so i put him in a little box and i made my parents give a eulogy because i was too emotionally distraught to say anything. and then we buried him under a tree

marinettedesigned

😭 rip marcel

notchatnoir

then two weeks later we were at this fancy dinner and they served escargot and i freaked out and said “they killed marcel! they cooked him!” and i started crying so my mom and i left early

and my father was angry and annoyed about it and he said it was ridiculous to be so upset about a snail but when we got home mom hugged me and said i had a good heart and that it was ok to be sad about things that were gone. she said i could be sad about marcel for as long as i needed. and i asked if it was silly to be sad about him and she said no, loving something is never silly, even if it’s a snail. then she said something like, “i think marcel might be the most loved snail who ever lived, and isn’t that special? you made him special by loving him. that’s what love does. it makes ordinary things extraordinary”

i’ve always remembered that

and i still can’t eat escargot haha

marinettedesigned

omg that’s the sweetest story 🥺 ty for sharing it

notchatnoir

aaa ok i gotta go

love you <3

marinettedesigned

love you

---

 

3 days ago

19:42

notchatnoir

princess.mp3

notchatnoir

WAIT

WRONG THREAD

notchatnoir deleted a message

notchatnoir

Pelase tell me you didn’t listen to that

luckycharmed

Don’t worry, i didn’t

Was that for your soulmate?

notchatnoir

yes

sorry, i say her name in the recording so i just wanna be safe

luckycharmed

no worries, i get it

did you recite some sappy poetry for her? lol

notchatnoir

i wrote her a song, actually

so, just as cheesy i guess. haha

luckycharmed

that sounds really sweet

and you’ve always bragged to me about your amazing singing voice lol

notchatnoir

actually tbh my voice is not that great slkdfjaj

this is an instrumental

luckycharmed

oh? what do you play?

guitar?

notchatnoir

piano

luckycharmed

oh yeah?

have you been playing long?

notchatnoir

yeah, all my life basically

luckycharmed

wow, you must be pretty good then

notchatnoir

yeah, im alright haha

luckycharmed

i’d love to hear you play someday

notchatnoir

it would be my pleasure to serenade you, milady

as a tribute to our purrfect partnership 😌

but sadly i cannot play when im suited up

claws would get in the way haha

luckycharmed

rip

notchatnoir

idk, maybe someday i could still play for you tho

luckycharmed

i’d like that

notchatnoir

do you play anything? 👀 it could be a duet

luckycharmed

yes, i am a world-renowned kazooist actually

i also dabble in the noble art of the triangle

notchatnoir

dude we should start a band

luckycharmed

oh yeah im sure that concert would be an immediate sellout lol

notchatnoir

i mean, i for one would definitely pay to see ladybug herself play the kazoo

and rena already has a flute

viperion has a lyre

idk what carapace’s instrument is but he def has some kind of musical vibes

like, this could happen

luckycharmed

ok cool, bring your piano to patrol on wednesday and i’ll lucky charm a kazoo

and we can have our first band practice

notchatnoir

why cant you lucky charm me a piano :/ that would be way easier

luckycharmed

sorry man, no can do

it’s byoi

bring your own instrument

notchatnoir

pwease 🥺

luckycharmed

that has literally never worked on me

notchatnoir

worth a shot

luckycharmed

im just teaching u responsibility

take care of ur own self, catboy

notchatnoir

fine 😒

heads up that i might be a little late then

seeing as i’ll be lugging a baby grand up to a rooftop

luckycharmed

unacceptable

also wtf just bring a keyboard

notchatnoir

whatever

the more important part of this discussion is what is our band name will be

ideas?

luckycharmed

ladybug and her loyal simps

notchatnoir

sold

luckycharmed

JLSDFDSKJLFSF wow i expected some resistance

notchatnoir

why? it’s great

i think the rest of the team will really like it too

and it will look cool on a t-shirt too

luckycharmed

oh good. that’s the most important thing

notchatnoir

exactly

i vote rena as band manager. she seems like she would be good at that sort of thing

luckycharmed

for sure

notchatnoir

kronk_itscomingtogether.jpg

i feel really good about this

luckycharmed

oh, same

notchatnoir

that was some great planning work

pound it 🤜

luckycharmed

🤛

notchatnoir

now if you’ll excuse me, i need to deliver my tacky virtual serenade to the love of my life

luckycharmed

haha aight

im sure she’ll love it

notchatnoir

see u soon

luckycharmed

bye kitty

---

 

20:14

notchatnoir

i made you something

princess.mp3

marinettedesigned

oh my gosh

chat

notchatnoir

do you like it? 👉👈

marinettedesigned

i LOVE it!!!!!!!!!

did you write it yourself?

notchatnoir

im glad ❤️

yeah, i’ve been working on it ever since i told you i played, haha

marinettedesigned

it’s so beautiful 😭😭

notchatnoir

i did my best to write something that sounded kind of like how you feel to me

like, when i touched you

but also just how you feel to me now

how you’ve always felt to me, even before we clicked

marinettedesigned

listening again right now

(and definitely crying btw asdflksafl)

ugh i want to make this my ringtone for you

when i actually know your number, that is. haha

notchatnoir

princess are u tryna get my digits

marinettedesigned

maybe

do you have time for a call? 🥺❤️

so you can listen to me blubber i guess alksjdfaj

notchatnoir started a call that lasted 1 hour and 18 minutes.

 

---

 

00:03

marinettedesigned

thinking of you

notchatnoir

can’t sleep?

marinettedesigned

im in bed lights out im just listening to the song on repeat haha

and thinking about you and your mom and marcel the snail

notchatnoir

im thinking about you too

your hands and your cheeks

and your coconut lip balm

marinettedesigned

haha well then here’s a goodnight smooch 💋

we should both get to sleep

notchatnoir

good night marinette

marinettedesigned

night❤️

Notes:

here is dahl’s art! it includes a few references to future chapters 👀

Chapter 20: sun and rain

Summary:

“Can you do me a favor, kitty?” she asked.

“Anything.”

“Can you hold my hand?”

Notes:

hello this chapter was a struggle and i am kind of

also! I forgot to say this at the end of the last chapter but I intended the song Adrien wrote for Marinette to be the umbrella scene song. Probably something like this since it’s piano only. that's actually kind of important lol

ETA: starryarchitect on tumblr did some really beautiful art of this chapter! 😭 check it out at the end!

He remembered it so clearly. The smell of the rain, misting up from the pavement. Droplets clinging to his skin. Dampening his hair. Rolling off the black umbrella that he held out to her—breathless, waiting, hoping.

Her eyes were wide, lips parted. Thunder rumbled overhead, and her gaze flickered to his hand, wrapped around the umbrella’s handle. Then she reached out, and her fingers met his.

That was the very first time that she touched him. The very first time that he felt her—something warm in the cold, something gold in the gray, something precious he’d never forget. He’d walked away with his hands empty but his heart full.

Adrien’s fingers glided over the piano keys, falling into the melody he’d played over and over for days. The notes could never really capture it—this Marinette feeling—but it was as close as he could get. Snow-dusted lashes. Rose-blossom cheeks. Milky Way freckles. Saturday-morning smiles. Sandpaper hands. Coconut lips. Marinette.

If they had clicked back then, he wondered, how would things be different now? Would he still have to hide? Love her with space in between? What would he have done, if he had fallen in love twice on the same day? Maybe his love for Ladybug would’ve been extinguished in Marinette’s rain like the small flame of a candle. Or maybe he never would have loved Ladybug at all, the way he used to. Ladybug, with her brilliant plans and her steady hands and her golden smile—

A knock sounded on the door, and his fingers stumbled on the keys, the dissonant notes souring in the air.

“Come in,” he said.

Nathalie entered, her heels clicking briskly on the wooden floor.

“What was that song?” she asked. “This week you’re supposed to be practicing”—she checked her tablet—“Chopin’s Nocturnes, numbers four through six.”

“I know. It was just something I wrote. Just for … fun.”

Nathalie’s brows rose. “I didn’t know you were interested in composing. I’m sure your father would like to hear that. We could incorporate composition into your weekly studies—”

“No!” He winced at how loud his voice came out. “I mean—if it’s okay, I’d prefer to keep this as a hobby. Like, more informal. Just something I can do on my own.”

“You know what your father says about hobbies,” she said.

“I know. ‘There is no such thing as a hobby for the Agrestes. We pursue perfection.’” Adrien looked down at his hands. “It’s just that … Mom and I used to write songs together. I guess it helps me feel close to her.”

Nathalie’s face was expressionless. “I understand. You may continue composing on your own time. I won’t mention this to your father. But please don’t neglect your studies.”

“I won’t. Thank you, Nathalie.”

“I also wanted to remind you about your Chinese lesson tomorrow.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

She nodded and click-clacked out of the room.

Plagg appeared at his shoulder. “Geez, only approved hobbies, huh? Wonder what they’d think of all the time you spend with Pigtails.”

“I don’t want to find out. I’d probably be banned from ever seeing her again, soulmate or not.” He sighed, dragging one finger along the piano keys.

He and Mom had sat at this very piano the day before she disappeared forever. Strange how something could be here one day and gone the next. Now all he had were memories.

He closed his eyes and pictured her. Her eyes (green, like his), her soft smile, her blonde hair twisted over her shoulder. He imagined her hugs—the warmth of her arms around him, the gentle jangle of the bracelet she always wore, the light scratch of her polished nails on his back, the scent of her perfume settling over him.

Sometimes, when he thought of her, she felt so real that he could almost believe she wasn’t gone. That if he looked for her he’d find her in the kitchen with a container of her favorite ice cream. (“Shhh,” she’d always say with a secret smile. “Don’t tell anyone we’re spoiling our dinner.” Then she’d hand him an extra spoon and they’d break the rules and sit on the counter to eat it together, laughing when they got a brain freeze.)

But as real as it felt, some of the details were slipping away now. Had the ice cream been mint or chocolate? Was her perfume fruity or flowery? Was her bracelet silver or gold? He even had a hard time remembering the sound of her voice now. He begged his father to let him watch her films just so he wouldn’t forget. If memories were all he had, he couldn't forget her. He couldn't let himself. But the memories still faded like ink on an old piece of parchment, blurred into nothing but a vague indication of the treasure it once held.

What if, when the bond died, the same thing happened with Marinette? What if he forgot her too—what she felt like, what she tasted like, the way her soul filled up his empty spaces? Maybe with time the hole would heal over like an old wound and his edges wouldn't sting and cry for her, but Adrien didn't want to mend if it meant he had to forget her. Let him ache for all eternity if it meant he could remember what it was like the night he got to be her soulmate.

It’s okay to be sad about things that are gone, Mom had said. You can be sad for as long as you need.

But what about things that aren’t even gone yet?

 

---

 

They lay facing each other in her bed, faces half buried in the soft fur of her cat pillow.

“We’re being boring again,” Marinette said, voice slightly muffled.

“I don’t care. I like being boring with you.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t come today anyway.”

“I don’t have much time. I have patrol in a few minutes. I only came because of an emergency.”

“If there’s such an emergency, why are you just lying here staring at me?”

“The emergency was that I needed to see your freckles.”

She snorted. “Yes, I can see why that would be incredibly urgent.”

“It is.” He inched closer. “And I also needed to hear your voice. And smell you.”

“Smell me?”

“Yeah.” He leaned in and sniffed.

“Okay, I’m gonna ignore how creepy that was.”

“If you don’t want me to smell you, maybe you should stop smelling like …” He sniffed again. “Lavender Passion Kiss?”

She laughed. “What?”

“I don’t know. It sounded like it could be the name of a perfume.”

“It’s called ‘Hibiscus Sunrise,’ for your information. And it’s not perfume. It’s my lotion. See?”

She brought her bare hand close to his face. His skin tingled. (Was hers tingling too?)

He breathed in the scent of the lotion, flowery and sweet. “Yep. Hibiscus Passion Kiss is definitely emergency worthy.”

Her lips twisted into a smile. “You’re really stuck on the ‘Passion Kiss’ thing, huh?”

He blinked at her innocently. “What would you think of Coconut Passion Kiss?”

She rubbed her lips together and pulled them apart with a smack. “I think you should leave so you’re not late to patrol.”

“Marineeeeette,” he pouted. “Don’t kick me out. Please. Please, Marinette? Can’t you let a poor little kitty stay for just a few more minutes? Marinette, my best friend, my love, my soulmate? Marinette?”

The corners of her mouth twitched.

“What?”

She buried her face in the sleeves of her hoodie, but he could still see her smile.

“It’s just … I really like it when you say my name,” she said.

“I like it too.”

He scooted even closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Marinette, Marinette, Marinette.”

She uncovered her face, her smile tinged with orange, bittersweet. “I wish I could say it back to you.”

“Me too.”

“Okay. So pretend I’m saying your name.”

He closed his eyes. Her voice was a caress in the soft pink glow of her bedroom. “Chat Noir,” she breathed. “Chat Noir. Chat Noir. Chat Noir.”

Adrien, he thought. Adrien, Adrien, Adrien.

When he opened his eyes, a strange look had crossed her face.

“You okay?” he asked.

She blinked. “Yeah. Fine. But you probably should go now.”

He sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Ladybug’s such a stickler. A real killjoy.”

She shook her head, smiling. “Well, someone has to set you straight.”

“And it can’t be you because you can’t resist my charms.” He batted his eyelashes.

She laughed and shoved a pillow at him. “Come on. Get out of here.”

“Fine, fine.” He stood and pushed the skylight open, then paused. “Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could …” His cheeks warmed under the mask. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“What is it?”

“Um, I was wondering if I could … borrow your hoodie.”

Her brows rose. “Why? Your suit will keep you warm, right?”

“Yeah, no, that’s not why I wanted it. Just—just forget it. Good night.”

“Hang on.” She pulled off the hoodie and held it up to him. “Here.”

He took it. It was soft and warm, just like her. “Thanks.”

A smile played across her lips. “Is this about Hibiscus Sunrise?”

“Kind of.” He leaned down to give her a finger-kiss. “But only because it’s you.”

“Love you,” she said as he pulled himself through the skylight.

“Love you.” He smiled. “Marinette.”

 

---

 

When he reached their meeting spot, the rooftops were cradling the sun, and orange bled across the sky like watercolor. Ladybug wasn’t there yet, even with the extra time he’d taken to drop the hoodie off at home. (She was always a few minutes late. Like Marinette.)

He leaned against his baton and gazed out over the rooftops. It didn’t take long to find her—a dark spot against the blushing sky.

“No piano?” she said with a grin when she landed.

“I tried to bring it, but I accidentally dropped it on the way over,” Adrien said.

“Yikes. Crush anybody?”

“Nah. Just Hawkmoth.”

She laughed. “Then I guess our work here is done.”

“Finally. Drop our transformations on three? No, wait. I want my soulmate to be the first to know. No offense.”

“None taken.” She smiled softly. The sinking sun made all her edges glow, her head crowned in a halo of gold.

Adrien blinked. “Uh, we should probably get going.”

“Probably.” She detached her yo-yo from her hip. “Race you to the first checkpoint?”

“You’re on.”

He got one last glimpse of her golden smile before she leaped from the roof. He jumped after her, a second too late. He knew he’d already lost, but he didn’t mind. Chat Noir was supposed to follow Ladybug. He’d always follow her.

He kept his eyes fixed on her as she swung ahead of him, ribbons streaming behind her. It was a familiar sight, and he let it fill him up as he breathed in the tangerine sky. He’d chased her into hundreds of sunsets before. Sat with her on every rooftop in Paris. He’d battled beside her again and again, and every time, despite mounting odds, it was always the same—this feeling of absolute surety.

As crazy as it sometimes was to be a superhero, he’d come to think of Ladybug as the most stable thing in his life. They’d both grown up a lot in the past three years, but she was still somehow the same as she always was. She was like the sun—always steady, always brilliant, always there whenever he looked up.

Her laugh drifted back to him, echoing over the rooftops, and he couldn’t help but smile. Ever since the beginning, being with her was always as easy as breathing. Some days, when he was younger, her playful rejections stung. Some days he was jealous, some days he felt hopeless—but it was always just a cloud rolling over the sun, and then the light would be back, and he would love her just as easily as ever. She was warm and bright and golden. She was Ladybug.

Loving Marinette used to be kind of like that too, he thought. As simple as just letting his heart beat. But loving her wasn't so easy anymore. Sometimes she felt less like the sun and more like some other star, even bigger and brighter but so far away, so far that he had to reach and reach and reach.

(You don't have to reach for the sun. It's just there, touching everything.)

“Finally,” Ladybug said as he landed next to her. “I’ve been waiting for ages.”

“What, like, eight whole seconds?” He shouldered his baton. “Well, my a-paw-logies, milady.”

“You’re forgiven, I guess.” She scanned the park below. “Oh look, there’s Mr. Ramier. Wanna go say hi?”

“If that will prevent Mr. Pigeon’s eighty-second debut, then sure. I’d love to.”

“Well, yeah, that’s the idea,” she said with a laugh. “Come on.”

Mr. Ramier seemed to be in good spirits. He introduced them to his newest friend, Eugène, who he insisted was the smartest pigeon he’d ever met. But Eugène still pecked at Adrien’s bell and made him sneeze, so he wasn’t that impressed.

Mercifully, Ladybug didn’t make them stay in the feather zone long. They signed a little girl’s cast, posed for a picture with a group of excited teenagers, and helped an old man find his hearing aid. Then they were off to checkpoint two.

They made their way around the city like they’d done so many times before, mingling with Parisians and offering the brief support they could. They ended on the same rooftop they always did, with a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, bright against the darkening sky.

“You know, they seem to be better than they used to,” Adrien said as he plopped onto the roof. “Like, less petty drama, I guess. It seems like the city’s mental health push has been working. Maybe that’s why there have been fewer akumatizations—people have learned how to manage their emotions better.”

“Maybe so.” Ladybug sat beside him, gazing out at the glittering lights of the city. “But I think maybe Hawkmoth is just … I don’t know … resting for a bit. Gathering strength. Or information.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Me neither. But he definitely hasn’t given up yet.”

Adrien sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Wish he would.”

“Yeah. It’s hard, isn’t it?”

He felt her eyes on him, searching, and turned to meet them. “Is what hard? Being a superhero?”

“No. Well, yes. I just mean, like, the waiting.” She tilted her head. “You must really want to tell your soulmate who you are, right?”

Adrien swallowed. “Yeah. I think about it every day. I mean, not that I would actually do it. But I just … think about it.”

“Me too,” she said softly.

The sky was almost fully dark now, and the moon was suspended among the hidden stars. (He wished he could pull them closer. But all he could do was reach.)

“You know,” he said, “sometimes I wonder if it’s weird for her to love me, when she doesn’t know my name, or my birthday, or where I live.” He glanced at her with a quick smile. “But then again, I guess that didn’t keep me from falling for you.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think that really matters. Names and birthdays and addresses aren’t the reason we fall in love. That’s all just … extra.”

“I guess you’re right. But I’m still glad I know her name and birthday and address. I want to know everything about her.”

“Yeah … I mean, maybe she doesn’t need know all that to love you, but … yeah, I’m sure she still really wants to know it.”

“And so does he,” Adrien added.

“Wh—? Oh, yeah. Definitely.”

They fell into silence again—a full, comfortable silence, like it always was. He lifted his head and stared up at the stars he couldn’t see.

“I don’t deserve her,” he said finally.

“What? Of course you do!”

“No, I mean … she deserves better than what I can give her. She deserves a love that isn’t secret. That isn’t … hidden. That isn’t far away.”

(She deserved to be the closest star. She deserved to be the sun.)

“It’s not far away,” she said. “It’s right here.”

“Well, she deserves a boyfriend who can actually kiss her.” He swallowed down the bitterness that rose up in his throat. “A soulmate she’s allowed to feel.”

“Yeah, she does deserve that,” Ladybug said. “And she deserves that person to be you.”

He looked down. “But what if I can’t be that person?”

“W-what does that mean?”

He hesitated. “Aren’t you afraid of it too?”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid that … this will never be over. That we’re just waiting for a day that won’t come.”

“No. We’re going to win,” she said firmly. Then her voice faltered, like a pen running out of ink. “I—I have to believe that.”

“But when?” He tried to tamp down his desperation, but it was mounting in his stomach, his chest, and it made his words spill out too fast. “Tomorrow? Next week? It could be years from now. It—it will be years from now. Remember Timetagger? Even if we beat this Hawkmoth, there will just be another one to take his place. We’re never going to be done. We’re going to have to keep these secrets forever.”

“No. No, we won’t,” she said, but it sounded weak, like she hadn’t even convinced herself.

His voice dropped to a whisper. “Even if we tell them, it will already be too late. The connection will be dead. It probably is already.”

Her head snapped up. “No!” she said, too loud in the quiet. “It’s—it’s not dead. It can’t be dead.”

Her eyes held his for a moment, two blue flames burning in the dark. Then the fire died, and the rest of her followed, head and shoulders pulled down like the weight of gravity had suddenly become too much.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly.

“Can you do me a favor, kitty?” she asked.

“Anything.”

“Can you hold my hand?”

Surprise held him for just a moment before he reached out and wrapped her hand in his. She held him tightly, like she was afraid he might disappear. Like he was her soulmate, instead of someone else he didn’t know.

The air between them seemed to tremble, and then it went still, like a rippling pond calming into smooth glass. He found himself staring at their hands, black and red, linked together. That was the way they’d always been, from the very beginning. They’d been thrown together unexpectedly, but somehow it was perfect. A cosmic phenomenon, like the making of the universe from infinite fragments of space. A whole that made sense, comprising pieces that may never have found each other on their own.

Just like him and Marinette.

She breathed in deeply, and he breathed with her automatically, the swelling of his lungs like a half-remembered truth—a familiar taste on the tip of his tongue, a beautiful song he’d heard once a lifetime ago. Then she threaded their fingers together, her glove sliding smoothly against his.

He’d never touched her bare skin, he realized (unless he counted the surprising number of kisses he couldn’t remember). Of course, he’d touched Marinette’s skin a thousand times before they clicked—but never Ladybug’s. What would it be like right now, if there were no gloves in the way? What would it feel like to just sit under the moonlight and hold Ladybug’s hand?

(He’d asked himself that question many times when he was younger. He hadn’t wondered that in a long time.)

Ladybug took a trembling breath. “Thanks, by the way.”

He looked up from their hands. The pale glow of moonlight blended with the golden gleam of the Eiffel Tower—a meeting of day and night on her skin.

“I know it’s stupid. I just …” She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand.

It took a second for him to find his voice. “It’s not stupid,” he said. “You just … miss him, right?”

She turned her face to him, silver melting into gold. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“You won’t lose him,” he said. “If that’s what you’re worried about. Even if … even if he has to keep waiting, even if it’s gone, he still loves you. He’s not going anywhere.”

She offered a smile, small and bittersweet. “You sound awfully sure about that.”

“I am. He’d be crazy to leave you. You’re amazing. You’re Ladybug.”

Her smile faded. “Wish my miraculous ladybugs could fix all this. For both of us.”

“Yeah. I’d offer my powers too, but I doubt they would be very helpful.”

She laughed weakly and then went quiet. He listened to the hum of cars in the street below, strangely aware of the weight of her hand in his.

“I’m tired of wasting all my time with him just being sad,” she said at last. “I don’t want us to look back and only remember how hard it was. I want to give him reasons to smile.” She paused. “He has a really pretty smile.”

Something twinged deep in his gut, and he swallowed hard, drowning the sting in a lungful of evening air.

“Did you know him?” he asked. “Before you clicked?

She nodded. “Yeah. I knew him.”

“Like, as a civilian, I’m assuming? Someone from school or something?”

“Y-yeah. Or something.”

He kept his eyes fixed on the Eiffel Tower. “What’s he like?”

“He’s, um …” She let out a shaky breath. “He’s really sweet. And silly. And brave. He’s a big jokester. He makes me laugh a lot. And he’s cozy.”

“Cozy?”

“Yeah. He makes me feel warm. And safe. He’s a big romantic too. He writes me love letters. Brings me flowers. That kind of stuff. And even though it’s so hard—even though it seems like so many things are wrong—when he holds me, I feel …” She paused, searching for words. “I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

An image of Ladybug curled up with a faceless boy, looking sad and longing, flickered into Adrien’s mind, and something cold and bitter jolted through him.

Who is he? Who’s the lucky bastard who got Ladybug for a soulmate?

For a moment, time stood still. Then a hole ripped open in his chest, and it all came surging in, like air rushing to fill a vacuum—shock, guilt, horror, grief, disgust, panic, dread. It slammed against his ribcage, his lungs, his heart, and he could almost feel the bruises blooming, purple tattoos bleeding through him like spilled wine.

No no no no nononono i’m sorry please i’m sorry

Beside him, Ladybug stiffened. “Chat? Are you okay?”

Her hand in his suddenly felt like hot iron—burning him through their gloves, branding his unforgivable thoughts into his palm (onto the skin she couldn’t touch, couldn’t see). He dropped her hand and stood quickly, legs shaking.

“No,” he said. “I mean—I have to go. I—I just remembered something.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “See you later, then.”

It took everything in him to stay composed until he found the edge of the roof. But once he was in the air, he came apart. The chasm in his chest yawned wide, threatening to swallow him whole. He felt dizzy. Sick. His stomach almost heaved with emptiness. He was floating in space, untethered, with no sense of up and down, reaching desperately for a star he couldn’t see.

Somehow through his daze he managed to make it back to his bedroom. He stumbled through the window and dropped to the floor, where he stayed, trembling, on his knees.

He was jealous of Ladybug’s soulmate.

He was hurt that she loved someone else.

(She was bold and brilliant, with golden edges—she was the crowning piece in a cosmic phenomenon and she was the sun, and … and …)

Guilt stabbed through his gut like a hot knife, and a wave of nausea rolled over him. Gravity had left him and the stars were hidden and he couldn’t reach, he couldn’t find her, he couldn’t breathe. His veins had caught fire and he was burning, burning from the inside out. He staggered to his feet and collapsed on the sofa.

Marinette no please Marinette I’m sorry please I’m sorry I’msorryImsorryimsorryim

Movement caught his eye. His head snapped up.

Akuma.

He was suspended for a moment longer, and then gravity dropped back over him like a heavy cloak. With a strangled cry, he leaped over the edge of the sofa. The akuma was fluttering toward him, and there was nowhere to run.

He was still transformed. Maybe he could cataclysm it. But what if it got him first? He couldn’t risk it.

“Claws in,” he choked. He stumbled backward as his transformation fell and tripped over his own feet, crashing to the floor.

“Adrien?” Plagg’s voice sounded like it was coming from the other side of a long tunnel.

He desperately tried to scoot backward, away from the akuma that was still making its way toward him. Ice was crawling up his limbs now, burning alongside the fire in his veins, and his heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage.

“Plagg,” he rasped, “you have go. Take the miraculous somewhere safe.”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

“There’s no time!” His trembling fingers found the ring and slipped it off. “Take it. Plagg, take it!”

Plagg didn’t answer. Adrien couldn’t see him anymore, and he was too afraid to take his eyes off the fluttering shadow still bearing down on him.

He took a rattling breath, trying to remember the calming anti-akumatization techniques Ladybug had taught him from her guardian training. But the thought of Ladybug just made his stomach twist, and the fire in his blood raged on.

The akuma had almost reached him now. It was too late.

A tear rolled down his cheek, burning like the rest of him. He flung the ring away. Heard it clatter on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” he whispered. Then he squeezed his eyes closed and waited for the fog to overtake him.

A soft chord rang through the silence. His head turned automatically toward the piano, eyes still shut tight. Was someone sitting there? No … it was a recording. The one he’d made for Marinette.

He clung to the sound of every note, clear and cool and gentle, like raindrops.

She’d looked so beautiful that day. He remembered her eyes, her touch, her smile. The Marinette feeling. Warm in the cold. Gold in the gray.

Something nudged against his hand. He picked it up, rolling the beads between his fingers. His lucky charm—the one she’d given Chat Noir. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the first one, fist closing tightly around them both.

The notes were coming a little faster now. In his mind, she glimmered like the rain—cool diamond drops reflecting every color as she descended all around him, shining on every surface.

The fire in his veins cooled under her rain, and stillness settled over him. Something soft fell into his lap. He held it up and breathed in its scent, sweet and flowery. Marinette.

He buried his face in the fabric and held it close, imagining he was holding her instead. It hurt to be together. It hurt to be apart. But the hurt felt like a promise, and when she was in his arms he always felt that he was exactly where he was meant to be (the cosmic phenomenon, the whole that made sense). He couldn’t touch her, but she touched everything around him.

(She was the rain, and she was everywhere.)

The last chord rang though the room and then faded into silence. There was a rustling sound on the recording, and then he heard his own voice whisper into the microphone: “I love you, Marinette.”

The recording stopped. Adrien sat motionless, still hugging her hoodie.

“Adrien? It’s gone. It’s okay.”

Slowly, he opened his eyes. Plagg hovered in front of him, green eyes bright in the dark. His phone was propped up on the piano where he’d left it earlier, still open to the recording app.

He took an unsteady breath. “Thank you, Plagg.”

“What was that? Are you okay?”

He stared at the lucky charms in his hand. “I don’t wanna tell you.”

Plagg sighed. “Kid, it’s me. I’m the only one you don't have to have secrets from. Whatever happened, you can tell me.”

“N-nothing … happened.”

“Sure. That’s why you ditched your miraculous and nearly got akumatized.” Plagg pressed the ring into Adrien’s hand. “Put this back on, will you? You’re scaring me.”

“Sorry. I kind of … panicked,” Adrien said, slipping the ring on.

“Yeah, I know.” Plagg drifted closer. “Really, what’s going on?”

His stomach twisted, fire sparking to life again deep in his chest. “I—I think …”

“Yeah?”

He tried to swallow down the words, but they burned inside him until he had to choke them out. “I’m still in love with Ladybug.”

Plagg froze. “What?”

“When she—when she was talking about her soulmate, I felt … I was jealous. But—but how can I be jealous, when I have Marinette?” A lump rose in his throat. “I don’t understand. How can I still love her, like that, after all of this? I thought I’d let go of Ladybug a long time ago. I thought I’d moved on, but—but still …”

Hot tears leaked from his eyes. He buried his face in Marinette’s hoodie, letting the scent of hibiscus fill his lungs.

Plagg didn’t answer for a while. “Maybe when you love someone the way you loved Ladybug, you can't really just ‘let them go,’” he said finally.

“But I want to,” Adrien said. “I—I have to. For Marinette. This isn't fair to her. She—we're supposed to be soulmates. What kind of soulmate … could be in love with someone else?”

A sharp pain shot through his stomach, and he sucked in a breath as the nausea rolled over him once more.

(He thought he loved Marinette in every way, with every bit of him. But it turned out that there was this traitorous piece of him that he couldn't give to her. A wedge that would keep their souls from ever melding together again.)

Plagg searched his face. “I know you love Marinette. That’s what saved you just now, isn’t it? Why do you think I played that song? Or brought you those sappy little gifts she gave you? I knew if you thought of her, you’d be okay. You love her, and that’s what’s important.”

“I do love her,” he whispered. “I love her so much. And don’t want to love anyone else. I just want her.”

“I know.”

His eyes found the floor. “But I still love Ladybug.”

“I know.”

“So how can I love Ladybug when I love Marinette? I … I’ve betrayed her.” He hugged the hoodie closer. “I’m the worst soulmate in the world.”

“No, you’re not. You’re—”

Adrien shook his head. “We shouldn’t even be talking about this right now. There’s an akuma on the loose, and it’s only a matter of time before it gets someone else.” He got shakily to his feet. “We have work to do.”

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Plagg asked cautiously.

“I have to be.” He looked down at his ring, cold and heavy on his finger. “I’m Chat Noir.”

Notes:

here is the art from starryarchitect! THANK YOU IT'S GORGEOUS 🥺💜💜

Chapter 21: nightmares

Summary:

notchatnoir

sorry if this is too personal but

what was your nightmare? the white thing?

Notes:

FYI, this chat takes place immediately after the end of the previous chapter

also im really behind on responding to comments, sorry D: i really appreciate all of them tho and i will get to them!

10 hours ago

22:18

notchatnoir

!!Akuma

i saw it but wasn’t able to catch it

not sure where it ended up but it probably got someone by now

luckycharmed

it’s sandboy

notchatnoir

how do you know?

luckycharmed

nightmare showed up in my room

notchatnoir

you ok?

luckycharmed

no time. see you out there

---

 

23:52

notchatnoir

are you ok?? did sandboy get you??

marinettedesigned

yeah he did

but I’m ok now

thanks

notchatnoir

what happened?

marinettedesigned

it’s late

we should both get some sleep

tell you about it tomorrow?

notchatnoir

ok

marinettedesigned

are you ok too?

notchatnoir

im fine

marinettedesigned

good

love you

notchatnoir

you too

sweet dreams, princess

for real this time

marinettedesigned

haha

night kitty

---

 

23:57

notchatnoir

are you ok? you seemed a bit shaken up

luckycharmed

i’m ok

they were just nightmares

notchatnoir

sorry, you didn’t have to answer

if you’re too tired you can just go to bed

luckycharmed

it’s ok

good work out there btw

notchatnoir

thanks

you too

sorry you got hit

luckycharmed

yeah me too haha

but i’m glad you didn’t

either way we fixed it in the end

that’s what matters

notchatnoir

yeah

um, can i ask you something

luckycharmed

depends?

i mean you can ask but i may or may not be able to answer

notchatnoir

sorry if this is too personal but

what was your nightmare? the white thing?

It kind of looked like…...me

luckycharmed

im not sure i should tell you

notchatnoir

sorry, don’t wanna pry

you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to

luckycharmed

wait

ok

it was an akumatized version of you

notchatnoir

that’s what you’re most afraid of?

me getting akumatized?

luckycharmed

sort of

i mean that’s one of my fears

but I’m glad nothing else popped up that could’ve given away something important and put people in danger

notchatnoir

like what?

luckycharmed

like, our soulmates

or master fu

notchatnoir

master fu is your nightmare?

luckycharmed

well, not him

But maybe him saying something awful

like taking away our miraculous

or forbidding us from ever seeing our soulmates again

notchatnoir

you think he would do that?

luckycharmed

I don’t know

I don’t wanna think about it

idk i just feel like it was a close call

we got really lucky tonight

notchatnoir

yeah

lucky

luckycharmed

we better both get some rest

we have school tomorrow

notchatnoir

yeah, you’re right

luckycharmed

gn chat

notchatnoir

wait

luckycharmed

?

notchatnoir

that akumatized version of me was just theoretical, right?

like, that’s just how you’d picture it if I were akumatized

luckycharmed

well

Not exactly

notchatnoir

what does that mean

luckycharmed

it means…I’ve seen it before

notchatnoir

you’ve had that nightmare before?

luckycharmed

no

well, yes, I’ve had lots of nightmares about it but

ugh I shouldn’t tell you this

I lived it, chat. I lived that nightmare

notchatnoir

are you saying that I’ve been akumatized before?

luckycharmed

yes

notchatnoir

but that can’t be. I don’t remember at all

i mean, i know i wouldn’t remember obviously but there was never anything on the news, no one talking about it, no aftermath

luckycharmed

it happened three years ago

in another timeline

notchatnoir

what??

luckycharmed

bunnyx (not our bunnyx, the future one) showed up and told me something had gone terribly wrong

and she took me in her burrow

and when I came out, he was there

notchatnoir

he?

as in, me?

luckycharmed

Chat Blanc

you were so different. it was terrifying

but at the same time there were these moments when you almost seemed like you again

and somehow that made it worse

notchatnoir

why?

luckycharmed

because then i couldn’t pretend it was someone else

i knew it was you who had been stuck there all this time

You must’ve been there for weeks all alone

maybe months

notchatnoir

where?

luckycharmed

here. paris

but

notchatnoir

but?

luckycharmed

i don’t know if i should say anything else

it was…really really bad

notchatnoir

how bad

luckycharmed

catastrophic

(no pun intended)

like. end of the world bad

it was really scary. i almost wasn’t able to fix it

notchatnoir

what??

luckycharmed

the city was gone. flooded.

the moon was destroyed.

i think you may have been the only living thing there before i arrived

everyone else was just...gone

notchatnoir

even you?

luckycharmed

the version of me from that timeline, yeah

that’s why bunnyx had to come get me from the past

notchatnoir

i did that? i destroyed everything?

luckycharmed

it wasn’t your fault

notchatnoir

but it was

luckycharmed

no

it was my fault

i screwed up. i caused it

notchatnoir

what? how?

luckycharmed

i’m not really sure how you got akumatized

but you knew my name

i let someone figure out my identity

and somehow it led to this

notchatnoir

did you tell master fu about this?

luckycharmed

no, i never did

notchatnoir

but shouldnt you?

this is bad

luckycharmed

i know

but i was scared

i was worried he would take tikki away from me since i had screwed up so badly

notchatnoir

but you fixed it

besides, it wasn’t you

it was me

wouldnt he take plagg?

luckycharmed

yeah, i was scared of that too

that he’d say it would be safer to pick a new chat noir

to prevent this from happening again

notchatnoir

he’s right.

luckycharmed

NO!

dont you get it?

i cant have a different chat noir

it has to be you

notchatnoir

no it doesn’t

practically anyone could wear this miraculous, as long as they’re not evil or whatever

i mean, maybe they wouldn’t look as catastrophically sexy in black as i do, but still

luckycharmed

please don’t joke about this

that’s not true and you know it

notchatnoir

it is true

i love being chat noir and i love being your partner

but you could still win if it was someone else fighting with you

ladybug has to be you

chat noir could be anyone

luckycharmed

please chat please stop saying that

i don’t know what i’ve done to make you ever believe that you’re replaceable but if there’s anything im sorry and i need you to know that you’re the only one i would want as my partner

notchatnoir

i’m not saying you would want to

just that you could

and it would still be ok

luckycharmed

it wouldn’t be okay

*i* wouldn’t be okay

notchatnoir

eventually you would

luckycharmed

i’m honestly not sure about that

notchatnoir

ladybug

i caused the apocalypse

luckcharmed

no you didn’t

not here. not in this timeline

notchatnoir

but i could

maybe i will

luckycharmed

so could any chat noir, if they were akumatized

so could i probably, if hawkmoth ever got me

there is always risk with this job

but that’s why we have each other, right?

to protect each other

notchatnoir

you shouldn’t have to protect me

luckycharmed

that’s what partners do

as long as we stick together everything will be fine

you and me against the world, right?

notchatnoir

but that time it wasn’t

that time i destroyed the world and it was just…you against me

luckycharmed

i’m not going to let that happen to you again

notchatnoir

you can’t control that

luckycharmed

chat

do you trust me

notchatnoir

of course i do

luckycharmed

ok then trust me now

it’s going to be ok

notchatnoir

how can you be sure

luckycharmed

because i’m sure about you

notchatnoir

i

ok

luckycharmed

im sorry i even told you

i didn’t want you to have to worry about it

notchatnoir

but i should be worrying about it

im dangerous

i could hurt people

i could hurt you

i could hurt my soulmate

luckycharmed

you’re not going to hurt anyone

it’s been years

we’re well past the time it would’ve happened

notchatnoir

what do you mean?

luckycharmed

you were younger

when bunnyx took me there, you looked like you were the same age that you were in our timeline

but you’re older now. you have better control over your emotions and your powers

notchatnoir

maybe not as much as you think

luckycharmed

and you’re stronger now

we’re stronger now. together

notchatnoir

but what if it’s not enough

im not as strong as you think i am

luckycharmed

yes you are

you’re the strongest person i know

notchatnoir

there’s a lot you don’t know about me

luckycharmed

but i still know you and that’s what’s important

look, if this was ever going to happen again, the future bunnyx would come warn me

i haven’t seen her since the time we defeated the archivist like a year ago

she hasn’t said anything about chat blanc since it happened

i really think we’re in the clear

it’s fixed. it’s fine

notchatnoir

then why is it still your nightmare

luckycharmed

i had lots of nightmares about it for long time after it happened

occasionally i still do, like out of habit or something i guess

that was probably just an easy nightmare for sandboy to latch onto

notchatnoir

i wish i’d known about this when it happened

luckycharmed

i don’t

i wouldn’t want you to be burdened by this

notchatnoir

but you were

all this time

luckycharmed

yeah and it sucked

I didn’t want that for you

notchatnoir

but I could’ve been there for you

unless

unless I just reminded you of it more

did I just make it worse?

luckycharmed

No, never

whenever I was scared it always helped to see you. in black. just laughing and smiling and making stupid jokes as usual

it always made me feel better

notchatnoir

you should never have had to carry that alone

why are you telling me now if you wouldn’t back then?

luckycharmed

idk…i guess didn’t know how you’d react if i told you. and that scared me

i didnt want to hurt you

i didn’t want to hurt *us*

like make it weird or freak us out and throw off our rhythm

i was already scared. i needed you to not be scared. so i could feel normal. So i could tell myself that things would be ok

but maybe if i knew back then what i know now, i would’ve told you

notchatnoir

what do you mean?

what do you know now?

luckycharmed

i know what it really means to be partners

i think back then, even though you were my partner, i still felt like there were some things had to carry alone

but i get it now. the point of having a partner is to *not* carry it alone

and if we’re both scared then that’s ok

bc we can be scared together and we can be brave together

you know?

notchatnoir

right

luckycharmed

when im scared or stressed or going through whatever, even if i can’t give you details, i still trust you with how i feel. i want you to know that

and i hope that you trust me the same way

to tell me when you’re scared or sad or whatever

notchatnoir

ok well i’ll tell you right now that learning that i once destroyed the world has not been a very warm and fuzzy feeling

luckycharmed

aaaa i know, im sorry. i know that was a lot

let’s carry it together, ok?

notchatnoir

ok

are you sure you’re alright though?

you say that nightmare wasn’t a big deal but you definitely seemed scared

luckycharmed

yeah, kind of a trigger reaction i guess

brought back a lot of bad memories

but once you showed up i felt way better

notchatnoir

im glad

luckycharmed

thank you

notchatnoir

for what?

luckycharmed

for checking up on me

and carrying the load with me

and being someone who always makes me feel safe

notchatnoir

you’re welcome

ok i’ll let you sleep now

good night

luckycharmed

good night

---

 

01:14

notchatnoir

hey marinette

i love you

so so much

marinettedesigned

i love you too

notchatnoir

oh sorry

i didn’t think you’d see this till morning

hope i didn’t wake you up

marinettedesigned

nah

notchatnoir

nightmares?

marinettedesigned

no

not anymore

notchatnoir

ok good

i hope you can sleep well

marinettedesigned

i will

i’ll just think about you 😌

notchatnoir

i love you more than anything

i need you to know that

marinettedesigned

i know

and same

are you sure you’re ok?

notchatnoir

yeah im fine

i was just worried about you tonight

im glad you’re safe

marinettedesigned

it’s been a long night for you

try to get some rest

i’ll see you tomorrow, ok?

notchatnoir

ok

good night

marinettedesigned

❤️

Chapter 22: lying

Summary:

She didn't like this new smile—a hollowed-out version of her favorite one, lips curved just the same but eyes far away, like stars behind the clouds.

Notes:

argh i was doing well at updating weekly(ish) and now my streak is broken lol. i was traveling all last week so i didn't get the chance to write. anyhoo thanks for your patience as always <3

“Woof.”

Marinette lifted her head from the desk as Alya plopped into the seat beside her, takeout coffee in hand.

“Woof,” she agreed.

“Ugh, late-night akumas are the worst,” Alya said. “I was so zonked out that I didn’t even put on any makeup this morning. Plus, I can never get any good photos for the Ladyblog, and on top of that—”

“—no one in the entire city gets any sleep?”

“Well, yeah, that’s a given.” Alya took a long drink. “Man, doesn’t Hawkmoth have a day job? Why does he akumatize people so late? Not to mention, it was Sandboy, so we all got traumatized by living nightmares and couldn’t sleep even after it was over. Ella and Etta had to sleep in my parents’ bed because they were so scared. They haven’t done that since they were, like, five.”

Nino twisted around in his seat. “Aren’t they around the same age as Sandboy? Dude, that kid’s parents really need to stop letting him watch scary movies before bed.”

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Marinette said, stifling a yawn. “He’s still just a kid.”

“Bro, I’m all for being nice to kids and stuff, but when I get chased around by a pair of sentient blue jeans all night, it gets personal.”

Alya laughed. “That was your nightmare? From that tacky sci-fi we saw when we were fifteen? Sounds like Sandboy’s not the only one who needs to stop watching TV before bed.”

Nino stuck out his lip. “Well, what was your nightmare? If you’re so much tougher than me.”

Marinette tried to look busy with her binder, hoping it would shield her from a similar question. She was too tired to come up with a fake excuse for a nightmare, and she certainly couldn’t tell them what she’d really seen last night.

(In fact, she didn’t want to think about it at all.)

“Okay, it was you,” Alya said.

“Me?” Nino asked.

“Yeah.” She took another sip of coffee. “But you didn’t have a head.”

“I was headless? Cool.”

“Not cool. Because you also had no arms. Or torso.”

“I was just a pair of legs?”

“Kind of. Except no, you didn’t have legs either.”

“So … I was a pair of sentient jeans.”

“Yep.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.” Alya blew him a kiss over her cup.

“Hey.” Nino rested his chin on their desk and blinked up at Alya. “What are the chances this poor, exhausted, devastatingly sexy piece of denim could get a hit of that tasty caffeine?”

Alya took a noisy slurp. “None. Should’ve been a genius like me and brought one yourself.”

“What about a tasty wake-up smooch?” Nino waggled his eyebrows under his cap.

“Get off my desk, peasant,” Alya said.

But Nino was already leaning in, and she smirked as their lips met.

“Oh, yeah. That cured me for sure,” Nino said with a grin when he settled back into his seat. “Hey, you okay, Marinette? Were you terrorized by evil blue jeans too?”

“Oh, um.” She offered a shaky laugh that she hoped was convincing. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“You look like you could use a good wake-up smooch too,” Alya said.

“What, are you volunteering?” Nino narrowed his eyes. “Should I be jealous?”

“Nah.” Alya’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ll leave the smoochage to your soulmate, yeah?” She winked.

Marinette forced a smile. “Ha. Yeah.”

Adrien walked into the room. Her heart did that traitorous little flop again, and she looked down, swallowing hard.

“Dude!” Nino said.

Adrien waved. “Morning.”

Nino clapped a hand on Adrien’s back as he took his seat. “Almost thought you’d be a no-show. Why are you so late? Even Marinette is here before you.”

Adrien smiled and put his bag on the desk. “Photoshoot ran a little late.”

“Were the pictures any good?” Alya asked. “’Cause you’re looking a little shabby there, sunshine.”

Adrien paused. “Am I?”

“Ugh. No.” Alya took a surly sip of coffee. “You look perfect as usual. Which is very rude, by the way, considering the night we all had.”

“Uh, sorry?”

Adrien’s eyes met Marinette’s. A prickle ran over her skin, and she wanted to look away, but she couldn’t.

(She never could.)

Maybe Alya couldn’t see it, but Adrien was a little off. She could tell by the carefully blended concealer under his eyes. The slight stiffness of his browline. The too-perfect curve of his lips—a model smile, like he’d practiced it a thousand times before. Like he’d measured it with a protractor to get the angles just right.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked softly.

“Obviously not,” Alya grumbled. “Who could?”

He was close enough for her to make out the golden rings around his pupils. Did Chat Noir’s eyes have that too? She hadn’t gotten a close enough look when he was Mister Bug.

“Marinette?” Adrien prompted.

She blinked. “Um, y-yeah. I slept alright. Once the nightmares went away, at least. You?”

“Same.”

Miss Bustier called for attention, and he swiveled around in his chair. Marinette stared at the back of his head for the rest of the class, prickling and burning.

 

---

 

She found him on the steps outside the school after class. He stood with perfect posture, leaning slightly on one leg, like his photographer had told him to hold a natural-looking pose.

“Adrien?”

His head snapped toward her. “Oh, hey, Marinette. I’m just waiting for my ride.”

His voice sounded cheery, but somehow also thin. Like when she tried to spread too little dough over the bottom of a baking pan.

“Are you … okay?” she asked cautiously.

His smile stretched across his lips, threatening to tear. “Just fine.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed. “If something’s going on, you can talk to me.”

His eyes held hers. The walls of her chest burned, as if they knew they held something that shouldn’t be there.

“You’re a good friend, Marinette,” he said.

A familiar sting, deep in her gut.

(It always used to hurt when Adrien called her a friend. But it didn’t anymore. It hadn’t for a long time. It wasn’t supposed to.)

A breeze lifted his hair from his forehead. Her chest was burning and her skin was prickling and her throat was achingly dry. She swallowed.

(She was a friend. She wanted to be a friend. Nothing more. Nothing else.)

Her voice came out much quieter than she meant it to. “I just want you to know that … you don’t have to say you’re okay if you’re not. Not to me.”

His lips parted, smile tearing at last, and she waited for the rest of him to follow—for his walls to crumble like they’d been cataclysmed—but he just stood there, motionless.

His hand hung, empty, at his side. Her fingers twitched, burned, longing to reach for him.

She could do it. She could take his hand. She could touch him.

He wasn’t Chat Noir.

Slowly, she lifted her hand.

(But what if he was?)

A car horn sounded behind them. Adrien turned to wave at his bodyguard. When he turned back, his model smile was back in place, mended and reinforced.

“Thank you,” he said. “But please don’t worry about me. I really am fine. Promise.”

His voice was steady and warm, but a hollow ache twisted inside her.

Maybe he really was fine. After all, he had his own soulmate to take care of him. One he could actually touch. Actually feel. Actually love the way he was supposed to.

She watched him climb into the car. Blinked with dry, stinging eyes. Waved back at his goodbye.

He said he was fine. Shouldn’t that be enough?

But as he drove away, one sure thought settled like a rock at the bottom of her stomach.

He’s lying.

 

---

 

Chat Noir was strangely quiet tonight.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were fixed on her laptop screen, the colored lights of the movie flickering over his face. But she wasn’t sure he was really watching. (If he was, he would be talking and laughing through the whole thing.)

Under her blankets, his hand was clasped around hers. He didn’t stroke the back of her hand with his thumb like he often did. Or play with her fingers. Or trace patterns in her palm with a gentle claw. He just sat still, and quiet, and not quite there.

She knew this stillness, she realized. She’d seen it in dozens of akuma battles that they almost didn’t win.

When Marinette was afraid, her brain went into overdrive. She was a mass of flailing limb and pounding heart and desperate, half-hatched plans.

Chat Noir wasn’t like that. It took a lot to scare him, but when something did, he went still, just like this. Like a rabbit frozen before a predator. Or a glass figurine, sure that if it moves, it will break.

(She always hated to see him like that. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like him. And she always got the nagging feeling that something did this to him. That something—someone?—made him that way.)

Maybe she shouldn’t have told him about Chat Blanc after all. Maybe her nightmare had scared him as much as it scared her.

She squeezed their knock around his hand, hoping to thaw him. She expected him to answer with the same pattern, but he squeezed back only once, long and hard, after a moment’s delay.

She reached out her other hand and pushed down the laptop screen. He blinked and turned to her, mask crinkled in question.

"Where are you?" she asked.

The crinkles deepened. "What do you mean? I'm right here."

“No, you’re not.” She held his gaze. "Come back."

He stared back for a moment, then shook his head slightly and smiled. "Sorry, I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep last night. Had a bad dream. Or, like, more accurately, a bunch of bad dreams attacked me and also put my soulmate in danger, so … I'm a little off today."

She didn't like this new smile—a hollowed-out version of her favorite one, lips curved just the same but eyes far away, like stars behind the clouds.

“You don’t have to say you’re okay if you’re not,” she found herself saying, only realizing she’d said the same thing to Adrien earlier when the words were already out of her mouth.

She tried to ignore the too-familiar prickle on her skin, the burning in her chest as Chat’s eyes met hers.

“Not to me,” she finished quietly.

She wondered if he’d stretch another thin smile across his lips. Make a thin promise that he was fine. But instead, he closed his eyes.

“Marinette, what did you see last night?” he asked. “When Sandboy came?”

Blue eyes. White mask. Something broken. Something lost.

But that was just the one he already knew about.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said. “I just—”

“No, it’s okay.” She took a breath. “It—it was you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. At first I thought it really was you—that you’d come to visit me—and I asked you why you’d come so late, and then …”

“And then?”

“And then you told me you were leaving,” she whispered. “You said it was too hard. That you couldn’t do it anymore. That it was a mistake to be together. To think that we could be soulmates. You said … you said you didn’t love me anymore.”

His hand tightened around hers, and all his stillness was snatched away like a dusty sheet. “I do. I do love you,” he said. “I’d never say any of that.”

“I know. It was just a nightmare.”

He swallowed. “What happened after that?”

“I reached out to you. I touched your face. And …”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

“… I couldn’t feel you. And then you were gone.”

For a moment, he said nothing, head bowed so she couldn’t see his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally.

“Sorry for what? It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t even real.”

He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but then he closed it, eyes sinking to the blankets as he froze himself over again, retreating back into glassy stillness.

“Hey.” She squeezed his hand again, and this time, he didn’t squeeze back.

“Marinette,” he breathed, “I’m scared.”

A shiver ran through her, a whispering of butterfly wings under her skin. “Scared of what?”

“Of losing you. Of losing myself.”

She wished she had put on her gloves so she could hold his face and make him look at her. “You’re not going to lose me,” she said, as firmly as she could muster.

His voice dropped even lower. “But what if I’m the one who’s lost?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“She told me.”

Her blood went icy cold, and she pushed back visions of white and blue.

“Who told you?” she asked. “Told you what?”

He didn’t answer. Just stared down, deathly still, until his frozen silence crept up her own limbs to turn the breath inside her chest to frost.

She breathed in, willing warmth into her lungs, and grabbed his other hand too.

“Listen.” She waited for him to look up. “We’re stronger than what we’re afraid of. Together. Okay?”

He searched her gaze, still seeming so much further away than she could bear. So she caught him in a hug instead, squeezing warmth around him till he had no choice but to melt back into life. She had to hold him at an awkward angle to make sure their skin didn’t touch, but she didn’t care, because his arms were wrapped tightly around her and she knew, like always, that hers were where they were supposed to be.

“Thank you,” he murmured in her ear.

She pulled back. “Better?”

“Much.”

She took both of his hands again, tracing her thumb absently over his miraculous.

“I would do it, you know,” he said quietly. “For you.”

“Do what?”

He stared down at their hands, at her thumb on his ring, and then looked up with a smile. “Anything.”

She smiled back. “Why don’t you start by picking a movie you’ll actually watch this time?”

“Okay, okay.” He sat up straighter. “Shrek.”

“Alright.” She flipped the laptop open again.

“The third.”

“What? Nooooo. Why not the second? It’s the best one.”

“Yeah, but I wanna watch the worst one.” He settled back onto her cat pillow and burrowed deeper under the blankets.

“Fine.”

He wasn’t so still this time, she noticed. His fingers were alive around her hand, and his chest shook with laughter as she lay against it. But she wondered if his laugh sounded thin too, like a few lonely singers trying to make up for a choir.

“I better go,” he said when the movie ended. He gave her hand a squeeze and pushed the blankets off them.

“Are you really sure you’re okay?” she asked.

His smile came quickly and surely, like it had been summoned by a bell. “Of course. Now I am.”

She studied his face. Every feature of his smile felt familiar, but she couldn’t help feeling like it was covered by a mask (not the black one, but another—carefully woven from thin air to hang, like glass, between them).

“I’m sorry I worried you,” he went on. “But I’m fine. Really.” His smile didn’t falter as he pressed a finger-kiss to her lips. “Good night, princess.”

He climbed through the window and shut it tightly after him. The cool of the evening seemed to linger for just a moment, settling over her like dust before it dissolved back into warmth.

If she didn’t know better, she probably would have believed him. And maybe she had no reason not to.

But she couldn’t shake the prickles on her skin, the murmuring smolder in her blood, the icy embers in the pit of her stomach.

He's lying.

Notes:

oml i keep being like "aaa im getting close to the end!!" and then there is actually so much left still LKFJSDDKFJL D: sorry,,

Chapter 23: address

Summary:

luckycharmed

you’re not going to do anything stupid, right?

Notes:

quick update cause it's super short!

5 hours ago

19:23

notchatnoir

what’s master fu’s address?

luckycharmed

why...

notchatnoir

i know he only wants you to know where he lives but i really need to see him

luckycharmed

chat if you’re going to try to convince him to let us tell our soulmates who we are then there’s no point, i promise

notchatnoir

no no, i know that

it’s plagg

luckycharmed

what’s wrong?

notchatnoir

he’s sick

master fu will know what to do

didn’t you say that he’s healed tikki before?

luckycharmed

yeah, that’s actually how i met him

is it bad? maybe i should come with you

notchatnoir

well i’d have to detransform for him to see plagg so im not sure that’s a good idea

luckycharmed

oh. right

i hope he’ll be okay :(

notchatnoir

I’m sure he’ll be fine

probably just ate too much cheese….which i did not think was possible for him until now lol

luckycharmed

ok master fu lives at 61 rue de nationale, in the 8th arrondissement

it has a plant in a red pot by the door

notchatnoir

got it

luckycharmed

good luck

tell plagg i hope he feels better

notchatnoir

i will

thanks

---

 

20:18

luckycharmed

hey chat

did you go yet?

notchatnoir

no not yet

why

luckycharmed

i just

you’re not going to do anything stupid, right?

notchatnoir

im offended

when have i ever done anything stupid in my life

luckycharmed

im serious

promise you won’t do something you’ll regret

notchatnoir

like what

luckycharmed

please just promise

chat?

did you leave?

chat?

Chapter 24: stay

Summary:

Fu’s gaze felt as heavy as the night outside as he considered him. “Why have you come, Adrien?” he asked at last.

Notes:

ok this was a Struggle Chapter help alskjdajfsdjf i finally decided i just gotta post it so here goes!!!!!
i thought i was nervous about ch 20 but boy howdy 🤠🤠🤠 lol
heads-up that it's pretty long compared to most other chapters and also uh pretty angsty so,,, ✊

ETA: I commissioned the incredible picayunearts to draw a scene from this chapter! Link in the endnotes.

The night was heavy.

It pressed in on him from every side—weighing on his shoulders, squeezing his lungs, turning his boots into lead.

He crouched on a rooftop across the street from the address Ladybug had given him. The windows were dark. Master Fu was asleep.

He extended his baton, but his fingers slipped on the metal.

I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this

He closed his eyes and breathed in the heavy air, imagining the scent of hibiscus and rain.

If he left now, Master Fu would never know he’d come. He could pretend it had never happened. He could go on like he always had.

Golden sun and fiery veins, prickling skin and forced smiles, fluttering shadow, blue eyes, white mask—

Something stabbed at his lungs, forcing out all his breath, and his eyes snapped open.

(It didn’t matter that he didn’t want to do this. He had to do this.)

He gripped his staff with shaking hands and dropped down to the street. Crept through the shadows. Stepped up to the door.

Now that he was here, he didn’t think he could leave even if he tried. His boots were glued to the doorstep, his arm raising automatically, like his brain was a distant puppetmaster commanding him to knock.

His fist connected with the door once, twice, three times. He swallowed, staring at the soft glow of his ring in the darkness.

There didn’t seem to be any sign of movement inside. He was almost relieved. But he couldn’t get out of this. He had come for a reason.

He forced himself to knock again, and again, and again. Finally, a light flickered on inside and the door slipped open.

“What—” Master Fu’s tired eyes widened when he looked up. He paused, checking behind Adrien, and then beckoned him forward. “Come in.”

Adrien stepped inside obediently, fingers numb and tingling at his sides.

Master Fu shut the door and locked it. “How did you find me?”

“I—” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I asked Ladybug.”

“I see.” Master Fu led him to a minimally furnished room, where he sat, cross-legged, on a mat. A tiny green kwami floated beside him, watching Adrien curiously.

“This is Wayzz,” Fu said.

“Pleased to meet you.” Wayzz bowed.

Adrien inclined his head and then sat across from Master Fu, forcing his hands to stay still in his lap.

Fu’s gaze felt as heavy as the night outside as he considered him. “Why have you come, Adrien?” he asked at last.

Adrien had rehearsed what he was going to say a hundred times, but it all disappeared at the sound of his name, crackling up like dry wood under the sudden flame that licked at his chest.

“You don’t get to call me that,” he found himself saying.

Master Fu paused. “But it is your name.”

Adrien lifted his head, heart pounding. “You don’t get to call me by my name if she doesn’t.”

“She?”

“My soulmate.”

Surprise flashed across Fu’s face. “Soulmate? You have … a soulmate?”

“Yes.”

Fu’s eyes flickered to Wayzz for a moment and then back to Adrien. “I assume, then, that Ladybug has already informed you of our conversation, when she told me about her own soulmate. If you have come here to bargain about the rules, you must know that I cannot allow anyone to know your identity—including a soulmate.”

He was already expecting to hear it, so why did it cut him open, make something cold and sharp bleed through him?

His eyes sank to the floor. “Why?” he whispered.

“The risk is too high,” Fu said. “If she knows, someone else could find out.”

“She wouldn’t tell.”

“There is no guarantee.”

“She wouldn’t. You don’t know her.”

“You’re right. I do not,” Fu said. “Therefore I cannot trust her with the identity of a miraculous holder.”

The flame licked at his chest again, searing in his throat. “But I can!” he said, voice rising. “I would trust her with anything.”

He stared at Master Fu, breathing hard while his pulse throbbed in his ears. Fu stared back for a moment, and then his expression softened.

“I am sorry, Chat Noir,” he said. “Truly, I am. But this rule may not be broken.”

At that, Adrien’s last stubborn scrap of resistance snapped, and his shoulders collapsed under the weight of gravity.

He hadn’t come here to argue. He already knew, from years of experience, that when someone made up their mind, it was practically impossible to change it. And changing Master Fu’s mind wouldn’t fix the real problem anyway.

He stared numbly at his ring, like a tiny beacon glowing on his finger.

“Then ...” He took a shaking breath. “I resign.”

Fu sounded surprised. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Please. You haven’t thought this through.”

“Yes, I have.” Adrien looked up, blinking against the sting in his eyes. “I’ve thought about this from every angle. But this is the only way. Because the real problem isn’t the rules. Or my soulmate. Or my secrets. The real problem … is just me.” He bowed his head, voice falling to a whisper. “Claws in.”

The electric sensation of the detransformation crackled over him. But it felt strange this time—more abrupt, with a jolting sense of loss, like his powers were being stripped away instead of tucked neatly back into a drawer, ready to use again later.

“What are you doing?” Plagg demanded.

Adrien stared down at his miraculous, now silver against his skin. “I’m sorry, Plagg. This is how it has to be.” He raised his other hand, fingers gripping the edges of the metal.

“No, it isn’t!” Plagg dove for Adrien’s finger and shielded the miraculous with his tiny body. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do,” Adrien whispered. “Thank you for everything. I’m so sorry I let you down. I hope someday you can forgive me. Plagg …”

“No!”

“… I renounce you.” He slipped the ring from his finger, and then Plagg was gone.

He cradled it in his palm, this precious thing that had been the key to his freedom for so long. He thought it might be warm, with Plagg now inside it, but it felt cold and heavy and strange. Like it belonged to someone else.

(He used to dread this day, when he’d have to give it up. He never thought it would come so soon.)

(The reality was even worse than he imagined.)

“Chat Noir—” Master Fu began, but Adrien shook his head.

“Not anymore.” He shoved the ring at Master Fu. “Take it. Please, just take it back.”

The wrinkles on Fu’s face looked somehow deeper than they had before. He nodded once, slowly, and took the ring.

Adrien stood, legs trembling beneath him. “Thank you for understanding. And … and thank you for giving me Plagg.” An icy lump formed in his throat, and liquid fire rimmed his eyes. “Could you tell him again that I’m sorry? Tell him that I’ll miss him.”

“Of course.” Master Fu got to his feet too. Wayzz hovered at his shoulder, head bowed.

He’d thought he’d feel lighter without the ring, but the nakedness of his finger carried its own strange weight—a swollen, weary emptiness that clung to his very bones and pulled him down, into darkness, into nothing.

He had to get out of this place. He had to get away from Master Fu and his disappointed eyes, from the ring glowing on his palm, from the echo of Plagg’s last cry.

“Goodbye,” he said quickly. He turned to the door, but Fu’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Is there a message you would like me to pass to Ladybug?”

Ladybug.

The word fell on him like an anvil. The emptiness burned now, charring and splintering his heavy bones.

No.

He couldn’t think about her.

“Tell her …”

(Because he still loved her, and he shouldn’t.)

“Tell her …”

(Because he was abandoning her, and no amount of sorry would be enough.)

He hung his head.

(Because he knew she would blame herself for not finding a solution that didn’t exist.)

“Tell her I’m sorry,” he said finally. “And that nothing about this is her fault.”

He turned once more, and this time, Fu caught him by the shoulder.

“Is this girl really more important than the responsibility of the miraculous?” he asked. “Than the pursuit of Hawkmoth? Than the safety of the city?”

Adrien couldn’t meet his eyes. “You don’t understand.”

“Then please, explain.”

Adrien squeezed his burning eyes shut, his breath cutting his throat like broken stones. “It—it hurts. Being so close but … never being able to truly reach her. If I go on like this, then it’s only a matter of time before Hawkmoth gets to me. He’s … he’s already come close.”

“All of us are vulnerable to negative emotion,” Fu said. “But there are steps we can take to overcome it. To keep our emotions under control, free from Hawkmoth’s influence.”

“You don’t understand,” Adrien repeated weakly.

“Perhaps not.” Fu paused. “But Ladybug does. She understands better than anyone else. Doesn’t she?”

Her name lodged itself in the space between his ribs, swelling and swelling until he couldn’t breathe.

Fu squeezed Adrien’s shoulder gently. “Did you tell her the real reason you came tonight?”

Adrien shook his head and managed to find his voice. “I thought this would be better. Easier.”

“Easy?” Master Fu said. “What makes you think it will be easy for Ladybug to lose her partner?”

Adrien’s eyes were drawn to his bare finger like a magnet. “You’ll find another Chat Noir for her.”

“But don’t you understand, Adrien? I chose you.”

“And now you’ll choose someone else.” He pulled away and strode toward the door.

“Wait!” There was a rustling sound. “Ladybug. I’m sorry to wake you.”

Adrien’s hand froze on the doorknob. He spun around to see Master Fu on his cell phone.

“Yes, it’s about Chat Noir. Please come immediately.” Fu ended the call. “She’s on her way.”

Adrien’s knees felt weak. “That’s not fair. Why would you do that?”

“Fairness is the reason I summoned her,” Fu said calmly. “Doesn’t she deserve to say goodbye before you disappear from her life forever?”

“She deserves a lot more than a goodbye,” Adrien said quietly.

But he wasn’t sure he could even give her that.

(Because he still loved her, and he shouldn’t.)

(Because he was abandoning her, and no amount of sorry would be enough.)

(Because if she asked him to stay, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to say no.)

Fu pressed the ring into Adrien’s hand. “One last time?”

He should leave now. It would be a long walk home, alone in the dark. (Without his powers. Without his ring. Without Plagg.)

If he saw her again, saw the hurt in her eyes, would he be able to live with himself?

(Would he be able to if he didn’t?)

“Fine,” he said, defeated. “One last time.”

He took the ring, and Plagg swirled out of it.

“So you’ve changed your mind?” Plagg asked, heartbreakingly hopeful.

Adrien shook his head. “I just need to say goodbye to Ladybug. This will be the last time. Okay?”

“Don’t say that. Please.”

Adrien forced a smile. “I have extra camembert. I’ll leave it with Master Fu for you, okay?”

“I don’t want it.”

“You will later.”

Plagg’s ears drooped, his eyes wide and glassy. “If you take me back, I promise I’ll never ask for camembert again.”

The icy lump throbbed in Adrien’s throat. He shoved the ring onto his finger. “Claws out,” he choked.

An electric rush, and then he was Chat Noir again. For the last time.

“Thank you,” Master Fu said softly.

“It’s only temporary. I resigned.”

Fu sighed. “I know. But I’m sure Ladybug will appreciate getting to say goodbye.”

It didn’t take long for her to arrive. In just a few minutes, there was a sharp rap on the door. Master Fu opened it.

“Master, I—” She caught Adrien’s gaze through the gap in the door, her eyes wide and frantic, and pushed past Fu.

“Chat Noir,” she said breathlessly. “Tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”

He bowed his head, refusing to meet her eyes.

“You’re not quitting, right? You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. Right?”

He didn’t answer. Just stared down at the silver toes of his boots while hollow shame ate away at his stomach like acid.

“Look at me.” She gripped his shoulders. “Chat, look at me.”

He was afraid that if he looked into her eyes, all of his well-intentioned defenses would crumble into dust. And still he looked.

She had a desperation in her eyes he’d never seen before. Not even in the worst akuma battle. Not even when it seemed like they had all but lost. She looked at him like he was holding a lifeline, like he could deliver her salvation with a single word.

He couldn’t.

“I guess this is goodbye,” he croaked.

At that, Ladybug’s face crumpled, like an old umbrella collapsing in on itself. “No, it’s not. It’s us against the world, remember?”

All he could manage was a broken whisper. “It was. But it’s not anymore. I’m sorry.”

She blinked, eyes shining with tears. “Is this about what I said the other day? Because I told you, it’s not going to hap—”

“It almost did.”

Her hands slipped from his shoulders, and her mouth fell open, drawing in quivering breaths.

Adrien’s own breath was also shaking. He clenched his hands into fists. “The akuma … the one that got Sandboy … it was supposed to be for me.”

“W-what?” she breathed.

“It came for me first. It was in my bedroom. And it got so close. It got so, so close. I managed to detransform first, but still …” He closed his eyes. “The point is, it’s too dangerous for me to be Chat Noir. I’m putting you at risk just by being here. I don’t even know how much Hawkmoth managed to figure out. It seemed like he was coming for civilian me, but—”

Ladybug’s head snapped to Master Fu. “He couldn’t know, right? If he was targeting Chat at home, as a civilian, he wouldn’t be able to sense that he was transformed. He can only sense emotions. Right?”

Master Fu hesitated. “I believe so, yes. But—”

“See? It’s fine.” Ladybug’s smile looked slightly manic. “It’s totally fine. You’re safe, he didn’t get you, everything is—”

“It’s not fine,” Adrien said. “He didn’t get me this time, but what about next time? I told you. I told you I’m not strong enough.”

“Yes, you are.” She took his hands and squeezed them. “You’re so strong, Chat.”

A tear spilled down her mask, shining in the low light. He studied her face, open and earnest, and the burning in his stomach slowly mounted to his chest.

Not strong enough to stop loving you.

He stared back at her, watching her go fuzzy at the edges as tears blurred his vision.

“Ladybug,” he whispered, “I don’t want to be your nightmare.”

She was frozen for the space of a heartbeat, and then her arms were around him, holding him tight.

“You’re not,” she said, voice muffled against his suit. “You won’t be.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I can’t do this.”

“You can. We can. Together.” She pulled back, Ladybug-brand fierceness burning through her tears. “There’s always a solution to every problem. We can fix this. We just … we just have to find …” Her eyes darted around the room, as if the puzzle pieces would magically manifest themselves.

“Ladybug.”

“There’s got to be something …” she murmured. “Maybe if—”

“Ladybug.” He took her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him, and drew a steadying breath. “You know I always trust you to save the day—to, to fix any problem. But … you can’t fix this. Not this time. There is no lucky charm solution. It’s just … a choice. And it’s a hard one, but it’s the one I’m making. Because I have to.”

The brow of her mask furrowed into a straight line over her eyes. “But you don’t have to. You just decided that you do.”

“It’s the only way. Trust me.”

“I do trust you,” she said. “And that’s why I need you to stay.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“Why?” It was less of a question and more of a plea, a whisper that drifted over him like snow, making him shiver.

“It’s—it’s not just about your nightmares.” He hesitated. “It’s about hers.”

“Your soulmate’s?”

He nodded. “She’s afraid that … I’ll leave her.”

“But … you wouldn’t.” She held him with her sad, earnest eyes. “Right?”

Adrien stiffened. He had thought about it before. For a few painful, horrifying minutes, he asked himself if the best thing for Marinette would be the thing he could hardly bear to imagine.

It would make sense to break it off, he thought. To let the connection shrivel up and die. It would hurt Marinette as much as it hurt him at first, but could it hurt any more than it already did? And then she’d be free. She could move on. Be happy.

But he could never move on from her. When she sat behind him at school he’d have to pretend that the scent of her lotion wasn’t making him ache inside. When they talked after class he’d have to lock everything in and offer stupid, meaningless pleasantries, always careful not to touch her. He would play her song on repeat with every beat of his heart, until the day it finally stopped beating, so many millions of lonely, desperate beats without her.

Maybe the real problem was that Adrien was selfish, and he didn’t think he could live through that.

“No,” he said finally. “I wouldn’t. But she deserves to know for sure. For me to prove that I’m not going anywhere.”

Ladybug’s voice was soft, almost timid. “Can’t you do the same for me?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

“But you promised,” she said. “Us against the world.”

“You’ll … there will be another Chat Noir for you, and they’ll be even better, and—”

“No, they won’t!” she said. “How many times do I have to tell you? You are the one I need. You’re the only one.”

“It won’t be—”

“I can’t be Ladybug without you!” she shouted.

Adrien froze, heart stuttering, and stared at her.

“I can’t,” she repeated, voice hushed. “If—if you’re really quitting, then so am I.”

“Ladybug!” Master Fu cut in. “Please, be reasonable.”

“I am.”

“I chose you for a reason,” Fu said.

She whirled around to face him. “And you chose him! You chose us, together! What—what would I be without him?”

Her question hung in the air like smoke, filling his lungs, burning his throat. He swallowed it down with the rest of his guilt, where he knew it would live for a long, long time.

“Miraculous,” he said finally. “You’d still be miraculous.”

She turned back to him, tears clinging to her lashes. “This isn’t fair of you,” she whispered.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

She brought her hands to his face. “Chat, please. Kitty. Please. Please.”

Something cracked inside him, a hairline fracture at his weakest point. He closed his eyes so he couldn’t see her face, but her hands were still cupping his cheeks. Trembling. Pleading.

“I can’t,” he said. “I know this isn’t fair to you, but … it isn’t fair to her if I stay.”

“Don’t you trust her?” she asked.

“Of course I do.”

“Then you know she’ll understand. She’ll wait.”

The crack was expanding dangerously now, a spiderweb tattoo crawling across his armor. He opened his eyes, and her gaze filled him up like water, pushing again his fractured edges, making his insides creak and groan.

“I don’t know what I should do,” he whispered.

She ran her thumbs across his cheeks, catching his tears.

“Stay,” she said.

And at that—at the splinter in her voice as she spoke that single word—his will shattered like glass.

Of all the times Marinette had asked him to stay, he’d never once said no. And the one time Ladybug had to ask, he couldn’t say no either.

A door swung open in his chest, and all the breath rushed out. “Okay.”

She blinked. “Okay?”

He nodded.

Her face cracked into a brilliant smile, and her hands left his face so she could wrap her arms around him.

I failed, he thought numbly. He had come here to do what was best for Marinette—what was best for all of them, for the entire city—and he had failed. Every reason he had to surrender his miraculous still loomed inside his mind, but he’d denied them all, just so he wouldn’t have to leave her.

He was selfish, and foolish, and even in submitting to what she asked of him, he was betraying her. Keeping her in danger.

But still, she was holding him like he was something precious that she couldn’t bear to lose, and he held her just as tightly—glad, despite everything, that this wasn’t goodbye after all.

Finally, Ladybug pulled away. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. You’re doing the right thing, and I won’t let anything happen to you. Okay?”

“Okay,” he echoed.

She glanced out the window. “It’s late. You should get some sleep now. I’ll see you at the next patrol. Right?”

She waited. He nodded slowly.

“Good.” She cupped his face in her hand again. “Now go home, Chat. Go home.”

He stood there, motionless, while Ladybug said her goodbyes to Master Fu. She paused with the door half open, yo-yo in hand, and looked back at him with a mixture of heartbreak and relief. “Go home,” she said again. And then she was gone.

For a moment, he stared at the spot where she’d been standing just a moment before, leaving behind an echo of her smile, like the negative of a camera flash still glowing in his vision. He blinked it away slowly, turning to Master Fu.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble,” he said.

For the first time that night, Fu smiled. “I am very glad that you will still be Chat Noir. And I know Plagg will be very glad too.”

“Undoubtedly,” Wayzz piped up. “I have never seen him bond with a holder the way he has bonded with you.”

“I—I’m glad,” Adrien said, not sure of what else to say. “Well … good night.” He turned to leave, but Master Fu raised a hand.

“One moment,” he said.

Adrien paused.

“I wanted to apologize for the rules that keep you from your soulmate.” Fu’s brows crinkled. “I know it is much to ask, but I assure you, I do not ask lightly.”

Adrien looked down. “I understand.”

“I have been the guardian of the miraculous for almost two centuries,” Fu went on. “But in all my years of study, I have never found a power more miraculous … than love.”

Adrien lifted his head, surprised.

“Love is the reason that I chose you to hold this miraculous. You were kind to a stranger in need, and your compassion moved you to act even when you were in the midst of your own troubles.” Fu stepped closer, his voice softening. “Love is the strength of every true hero. It is your strength, Adrien. I can tell that the love you hold for your soulmate is pure and true. Trust it. Trust her. Together, you are stronger than you know.”

Adrien stared. Fu was smiling warmly, like he’d just offered him a gift. A few weeks ago, he probably would have thought it was just that.

But tonight, the words felt feeble. Sour. They were meant for someone else—someone whose love really was pure and true.

How could love be his strength when he still loved the wrong person?

Marinette deserved the biggest, brightest love imaginable—something whole, and worthy, and entirely hers.

But the only heart Adrien could offer her was broken. Incomplete.

Worthless.

“Sleep well, Chat Noir,” Master Fu said.

I failed her.

I failed her.

I failed her.

 

---

 

By the time he stepped back outside, exhaustion clung to his limbs, weighing down every step. The night seemed like a mirror, reflecting his own heaviness back at him. He lifted himself upward and it folded around him, a thousand weary echoes resounding through his bones on every side. His boots thudded against stone, and he ran, half dazed, across the rooftops, while the moonlight settled over him like rain and the hidden stars whispered in his blood.

He hadn’t realized where he was going until he arrived. He landed on her balcony, and she was already there, standing against the moon, with the stars singing her name.

“Chat Noir,” she said. Almost like she’d expected him. Almost like she’d been waiting.

A breeze swept over them, and she shivered. It was a chilly night. She should have a jacket on. No, she should be in bed, sound asleep.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked. His voice came out like sandpaper, rough and low.

“I, um, couldn't sleep,” she said, rubbing her arms. Even in the dark, he could see that her eyes were rimmed with red.

“Have you been crying?” he asked.

She stepped closer and lifted a hand to his mask, running her thumb gently under his eye. “Have you?”

She gazed at him with wide, shining eyes, but he couldn't look back. He couldn’t ask for what he didn’t deserve. So he hung his head, blinking back tears.

Marinette took both his hands in hers and squeezed. “Wait here.” Then she disappeared through her skylight.

He stared at the patterns of the bricks on the balcony floor. He should leave now. How could he come crawling back to her when he'd failed? When he was supposed to choose her, choose them, and he couldn't?

He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to the moon. It was round and full and bright, just like it had been the very first time he’d come. It was strange, but he always thought of it as their moon. Like it was made for the two of them and no one else. How many nights had he spent out here with her while the moon watched him slowly fall in love? How many times had it shone on her and illuminated what he somehow didn’t see for so long?

(He’d give her the moon if he could. He wished he could give her everything.)

Marinette's head poked through the window, covered by a hood. "Okay. You can come in."

He told himself one more time to leave, but she pulled him in like the tide, and he found himself slipping through the window to crash like a wave into her open arms.

"It's okay," she said softly. "You're okay."

At that, he broke. Everything he’d tried so hard to hold inside that night came pouring out of him, and he clung to her as sobs racked his body.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She couldn't possibly know what he was sorry for, but she held him tightly all the same. "It's okay."

"It's n-not. It's not okay. You don't—I can't—”

“Shhh.” She rubbed soothing circles on his back. “It’s alright.”

He couldn’t stay here. He didn’t deserve to be with her, to drink in her comfort when he had nothing to offer in return.

The memory of a black-and-purple butterfly flashed across his mind, and panic seized him. He didn’t want to turn into Ladybug’s nightmare in her arms. He didn’t want her to see him like that. Didn’t want to hurt her.

“I have to go,” he said quickly. He tried to sit up, tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let him.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I can’t be here. It’s not safe. It’s going to come for me.”

"What is?"

He went still, fear freezing him over like ice. "Akuma," he whispered.

Marinette’s arms tightened around him. "No, it won't. I'll protect you."

“You shouldn’t have to protect me. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“I want to.”

“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you.”

“You do.” Marinette pulled back to look at him. “We protect each other. We take care of each other. That’s how this works, okay? That’s what it means to love someone.”

Hot tears spilled from his eyes, leaving fiery trails down his cheeks. "Marinette—"

"Trust me,” she breathed. "Just trust me."

He couldn’t be here.

He couldn’t be here.

But he couldn’t possibly leave.

He tried to control his breathing, dragging air into his battered lungs. He had to explain, had to tell her why he’d come. “I—I need to—”

"You don't have to say anything right now,” she said. “Just be with me. Stay with me. Okay?"

He didn’t know what to say anyway. He didn’t have the words. He didn’t have anything to give her right now. So he just let himself collapse like a castle made of sand, pulled apart bit by bit by endless waves.

She smoothed away his tears, gloves soft against his skin. He closed his eyes at her touch, imagining her bare fingers brushing his cheeks.

“I love you,” she murmured.

A pang shot through him. He always craved those words—steadfast like a promise, golden like a treasure, holy like a prayer. Whenever she said them he always felt a sense of awe, that they could be his, that she could be his.

He didn’t anticipate how they could shed a light on all his ugliest parts, on all the ways that he fell short of deserving them.

He didn’t know how much his broken love was worth anymore, if it was worth anything at all. But it was still here, still so fiercely alive—stirring inside him, resounding in his ribcage—and he had to say it, had to offer what he could to the girl who called him soulmate.

“Marinette, I love you,” he whispered fervently. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Even though it can never be enough.

She pulled him closer and stroked his hair, enveloping him in the scent of hibiscus. And as he listened to her heartbeat, something slowly filled him up inside—something bright and safe and warm, her strength seeping into him through every layer of wrong between them.

He didn’t know what else to do.

So he just cried, pitifully, into her soft sweatshirt.

He surrendered, shamefully, to the safety of her arms.

He let her hold him, selfishly, until he fell asleep at last.

 

---

 

Adrien’s eyes cracked open.

He felt like a wet t-shirt that had been left out in the sun to dry. He was dry, but the water had stretched him; sleep had bleached him. He felt worn and stiff. His throat was raw, the skin under his eyes tender, even beneath the mask.

Marinette’s arms still held him loosely. He turned his head to look at her. Cool light shone softly through the window to kiss her face, her cheeks, her freckled nose. It was still early. Blue hour.

Locks of dark hair escaped from her hood, spread out over her pillow. Her lips looked soft and full, parted slightly to let out gentle puffs of air, and her brow was slightly scrunched, like she was worried even in sleep.

He hated himself for making her worry. For accepting her care when he didn’t deserve it.

Adrien swallowed. He should go, now, before she woke up. Plagg wouldn’t be happy that he’d stayed transformed all night, but at least he had time to get home before Nathalie came to check on him.

He tried to extract himself from Marinette’s arms without waking her, but she stirred and opened her eyes.

"Chat?" she mumbled. She reached out and gently smoothed his hair from his forehead with a gloved hand.

Their eyes met. He thought of how he must look to her—swollen eyes, salty cheeks, cracked lips. Nothing like a model. Nothing like a hero. He buried his face in his hands.

“Ugh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said.

He refused to look at her with his bloodshot eyes. But she pried his hands gently away from his face.

“Really,” she said. “It’s alright.” And then she smiled.

Adrien stared. He was slouched beside her like a wounded dog, but she was smiling at him. Not in a mocking way, or a pitying way. She smiled like she was glad he was there. He drank in her smile like a glass of warm milk, letting it seep through him and light all the darkest corners.

How did she do that? How could she heal him with a single look?

“Thank you,” he said softly. “For taking me in so late.”

“I’ll always take you in,” she said.

He looked at her, at this girl he loved so much but not enough, and fresh tears pricked his eyes.

“Hey.” She placed her glove on top of his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He stared down at their hands—always close, never touching. Always something in between.

"I just … I want so desperately to be the one that you deserve,” he whispered.

"You are." She wiped a tear from his face. "You're so good."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew."

"If I knew what?"

He didn’t answer.

She held his face in both her hands. “Whatever is too heavy for you to carry can be carried by us both. Okay?”

He closed his eyes. “I don’t want you to carry it.”

“But I want to. Listen. I don’t just want you when it’s easy. I want you when it’s hard. Do you get it, Chat Noir? I want the best of you. I want the worst of you. I want all of you. I want every single, broken bit.”

Tears leaked from beneath his eyelids. “But that’s the problem. I can’t give you all of me. Even if I want to.”

“Why not?”

He opened his eyes. Her face was open and earnest, eyes searching his, and she reminded him of Ladybug, the way she’d held his face just like this and asked him to stay. A too-familiar fire blazed silently in his veins.

“Marinette, there’s something I have to tell you,” he said quietly. “And I really, really don’t want to.”

“What is it?” she breathed.

“I don’t want to hurt you. But I've had to lie so much already, and I can’t lie anymore. I can’t.” He drew a quaking breath, painting his lungs with guilt and dread, and forced himself to meet her eyes.

"I'm still in love with Ladybug.”

He heard the breath catch in her throat, saw her lips part, and he couldn’t look anymore, couldn’t watch how his betrayal broke her heart. He felt sick and he felt dirty and her hands were still cradling his face and they shouldn’t be, they should be gone, they weren’t for him. He pulled away and drew his legs up to his chest, burying his face in his knees, and then he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I thought I was over her; I thought I’d been over her for years but it turns out that I’m not and I don’t want to love her anymore but I can’t stop it. I hate myself for this; I hate myself and—”

“Chat.” She tried to pull his arms away from his face.

“—I’ve failed you and betrayed you and I’m the worst soulmate in the world, the worst person in the world, and he almost got me, Marinette. He almost got me. The akuma was right there in my room and I almost became him. Chat Blanc. Ladybug—Ladybug told me—I’ve been akumatized before and I destroyed everything, even you—but I guess I don’t need to be akumatized to destroy us because look what I’ve done! I’ve ruined it; I’ve ruined everything and—”

“Kitty.” She gripped his wrists and pulled them away with surprising strength, forcing him to look at her. “You haven’t ruined anything.”

Her eyes were soft and her voice was steady and he didn’t understand why she didn’t hate him, why she didn’t push him away, why she didn’t ask him to leave.

“How can you say that?” he choked. “How can you say that when I still love someone who isn’t you?”

She squeezed his hands. “You have such a big heart. You have the biggest, biggest heart and I love you for it. I love you.”

He sucked in a ragged breath. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t make me sound … noble. Don’t forgive me when I’ve failed you.”

“You haven’t failed me. And there’s nothing to forgive.”

He looked at her with watery eyes, colors smudging like ink on paper, and swallowed. “L-last night … I went to the guardian. To give up my ring. For you—for us. So your nightmare wouldn’t come true. So our bond wouldn’t have to die. So I could prove that I wasn’t going to leave you. So I could show you how … how if there's ever a choice between you and anything else, I’ll choose you. Every time.”

She brushed the hair from his eyes with gentle fingers. “Chat—”

“But I couldn’t do it. Because she asked me to stay. And I wasn’t strong enough to choose you instead.” A sob broke in his throat. “I’m so sorry, Marinette. I’m so, so sorry.”

She pulled him back into her arms, and like medicine, like magic, a calm washed over him. His body relaxed as his lungs released an aching sigh, and all the fire in his blood died down.

Somehow, despite everything, she still felt like home.

“What made you think you had to choose between me and being Chat Noir?” she asked.

“It … it would fix everything,” he said. “If I weren’t Chat Noir, my secrets couldn’t hurt us. If I weren’t Chat Noir, we could be together like we’re supposed to be. We could touch, and kiss, and … be happy. If—if I weren’t Chat Noir, you could know who I am.”

She was quiet for a long moment. “I’m still in love with Adrien too,” she said at last.

The words seemed to hover there for a moment, like they were waiting at the door for him to let them in. Then they sank into his skin, shooting warmth throughout his bloodstream.

She still loved him—Adrien him, after all this time.

And she still loved him—Chat Noir him, after he’d given every reason to give up on him.

His heart stuttered, sinking slowly.

She loved him twice over, and he couldn’t even love her wholly once.

“I only realized it a little while ago,” Marinette said, voice low. “And I’ve felt awful ever since.”

“Don’t—don’t feel awful,” he said.

“Why not? Isn’t it awful, that I love someone who isn’t you?”

No, it wasn’t awful. It almost seemed like a miracle. But he couldn’t say that, and he couldn’t set her free from the shame she must be feeling.

She felt guilty just like him, only she didn’t have a reason to.

“It’s—it’s okay,” he said, with as much strength as he could muster. “I understand.”

Her eyes flickered to his. “If it’s okay for me, then it’s okay for you. Please, please forgive yourself.”

He searched her eyes. “Marinette, I think I broke us.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“You don't … you don’t think we're broken?”

She paused. “Maybe. But we can be broken together, right?”

“I guess so.”

She shifted her position so they were lying face to face.

“I love you,” she said. “Do you love me too?”

“Of course. I love you so, so much.”

“I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“So can’t we just start there?” she asked. “Isn’t that what really matters?”

He reached out and cupped her face—beautiful, brave Marinette, who held his heart with careful hands. She kissed his palm and held him there, and when she looked at him he felt all the tangled strings of his heart unwind, all leading back to her.

“Okay,” he said.

She let out a breath, deep and slow, and her face relaxed into a smile.

He didn’t know how long they lay there, holding each other in the pale of the morning. He didn’t want to leave. But he knew that soon Nathalie would find an empty bed, and he had to get back quickly.

“I have to go,” he said.

She frowned. “Now?”

“Yeah.” He sat up, taking her hand to press a kiss to her fingers. Then he whispered a goodbye and lifted himself through the skylight.

“Wait!”

He turned, baton in hand, to see her climbing out after him. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly. She was warm in the cool of the morning. Golden against the blue. Adrien breathed her in slowly, feeling the last bit of residual weight lift from his chest, until he was filled with nothing but her.

She pulled away and kissed his mask, where all the tears had dried up. “Come back soon,” she said.

“I will.”

She waved as he perched on the railing, and it was easy this time to return her smile.

The morning was light, and so was he.

Notes:

OK WOOF that was a lot, sorry askjfldkf
i know the angst train has been nonstop lately lol but good news! this was the angstiest chapter of the fic! u made it through ✊ i hope the ending was at least semi-cathartic bc that was the intention aldkjsfa

i feel like there has not been anything happy or funny in like 5 or 6 chapters lol so im sorry but there is some relief ahead. Actually a lot of relief since we are getting close to the end 👀 only two more prose chapters, wooo

also, this fic hit the one-year mark last week so a giant THANK YOU to everyone who is still here after all this time 😭💜 i really appreciate your patience and your continued support and i hope in the end it feels worth it 🥺

ETA: Here is the gorgeous art by picayunearts!! thank you Pi, i absolutely love how it turned out 😭😭

Chapter 25: pikachoose

Summary:

notchatnoir

I would choose you in every lifetime, marinette

marinettedesigned

me too

we clicked on accident, but i love you on purpose

Notes:

warning: sap and clownery ahead 😙

1 day ago

18:03

marinettedesigned

hey kitty

how are you feeling today

notchatnoir

much better

thank you

marinettedesigned

good

notchatnoir

im really sorry about last night

marinettedesigned

dont be sorry

i will always always be here for you, ok?

notchatnoir

i know

and that means more to me than i could ever tell you

i just. i cant stop thinking about everything

marinettedesigned

yeah same

it really broke my heart to see you like that

notchatnoir

im so sorry i hurt you

marinettedesigned

chat there is no reason to be sorry

you’re allowed to feel hurt, and scared, and lost, and whatever you feel

never apologize for your feelings

notchatnoir

your mom told me that once

marinettedesigned

she did? when?

notchatnoir

when your dad was akumatized

i was talking about ladybug and she said “you really love her, huh?”

and i said yes but i mean i’d just rejected you and gotten your dad akumatized so i felt bad for saying it

and then she said those exact same words to me

marinettedesigned

yeah, she told me that a lot of times growing up

notchatnoir

but this time i *do* have to apologize for my feelings

marinettedesigned

you really don’t

notchatnoir

yes i do

i still love ladybug and i shouldn’t and im so, so desperately sorry marinette

marinettedesigned

then im sorry i still love adrien

notchatnoir

you don’t have to be sorry

marinettedesigned

but you do??

notchatnoir

well

idk it’s different

marinettedesigned

look, it’s like what you told me the night you detransformed

there’s nothing missing from the way you love me

i feel full and i feel happy and i feel secure with the love you’ve given me

it’s so much and it’s so good and it’s more than enough, okay?

you are more than enough.

you always have been

notchatnoir

I love you all the time. i need you to know that

marinettedesigned

i do know

notchatnoir

i love you when im not there with you

i love you when we're not texting

i love you when i'm alone

i love you when I'm surrounded by people who arent you

marinettedesigned

i know

notchatnoir

i love you when im with her

marinettedesigned

i know, kitty. i know you do

and i hope you know that i love you all the time too

i hope that my love is enough for you the same way yours is enough for me

notchatnoir

it is it is it is marinette ofc it is

you’ve given me so much, since the very beginning

you took me in when you didn't have to. you made a home for me

i just wish there was some way i could give back to you

marinettedesigned

what are you talking about? you protect the city. you've saved me from akumas lots of times

notchatnoir

that doesn't mean anything. that's just my job

LB does that. you would do it if you were the one with the miraculous (and you'd do a better job than me for sure lol)

marinettedesigned

so?

notchatnoir

so I wanna do things for you that no one else does

to show you how i love you like no one else does

marinettedesigned

aw chat

i already know that

notchatnoir

i don't want to just feel things for you

I want to do things for you

marinettedesigned

you do sweet things for me all the time!

you bring me flowers and take me on dates and write me love letters

notchatnoir

yeah but those things don’t really matter

marinettedesigned

ofc they matter!

notchatnoir

anyone can be a romantic for a night

or make like some one-and-done grand gesture

but I wanna do. more than that

marinettedesigned

wym?

notchatnoir

like

i want to bring you breakfast in bed

and listen to you vent when you’ve had a hard day

i want to hold your hair back when you’re sick

and brush it before you go to sleep

marinettedesigned

chat,,

notchatnoir

no listen

i want to wash the dishes with you

and help you find your keys

and stay up late with you when you’re working on a project

i want to hold your hand on the metro

and pick you up from the airport at 4 am

and help you move the couch into your new apartment

and bring you lunch when you forget yours in the fridge

marinettedesigned

chaaaaat

notchatnoir

i want to hold you when you’re sad

and give you space when you’re mad at me

make sure you sleep when you’re tired

and remind you that you’re strong whenever you forget

and i want to buy you tampons and ice cream when you’re having your Lady Time

marinettedesigned

sdljkfasljf

i want to do all of that for you too!!

i mean minus the tampons lol

unless u want some

notchatnoir

i do not but thanks for the offer haha

i just

i want to be there for you all the time

in the good times and the bad times and the in-between times

marinettedesigned

chat what do you think you’ve been doing all this time??

this has not been easy for either of us but you’ve been there for me through all of it

notchatnoir

but i havent. not all the time

when it was too hard i left

i left you

marinettedesigned

please don’t tell me you’re still beating yourself up over that

what part of “i forgive you” did you not understand last time

notchatnoir

it just seems like i fall so short of everything i want to be for you

you deserve everything and i cant give it to you

i keep letting you down

marinettedesigned

listen to me, chat noir

neither of us are perfect people. we make mistakes. it’s ok

i don’t need you to be perfect. i just need you to try

and you do. i know you try so hard and your trying is enough. it’s everything

what i need is just you

because you are the person i love and you are the person i choose

notchatnoir

you’re the one i choose too

marinettedesigned

yeah and isn’t that what really matters?

remember last year when i texted you late bc i was freaking out about soulmates

notchatnoir

yeah

marinettedesigned

you said something that always stuck with me

you said we dont choose who we fall for

but we do choose how to love them

notchatnoir

yeah, i remember

marinettedesigned

i’ve been thinking about that a lot lately

I feel like it was sort of an accident that we became friends. but at some point we chose it. we decided to make it mean something--even everything

And then we fell in love without meaning to. but then we chose that too

like, chose to stay in love. chose to stay together, even when it was hard

notchatnoir

yeah

marinettedesigned

it's like...we didn't choose to mean something to each other, but we chose to make that meaning important. you know?

so i mean, maybe we are broken soulmates. but i actually don’t think the brokenness even matters in the end

notchatnoir

what does that mean?

marinettedesigned

I just mean like...whehter the universe “chose" us to be together is less important than whether WE chose to be together

like, we could have been like all the other soulmates

who don't have all these complications

but we're not like them.

and, idk, i can't bring myself to regret that

bc it just means that i get to choose you over and over

I choose you when I don't know your name. I choose you when my heart is torn. I choose you when it's hard, and ugly, and painful

and the choosing is what makes it mean something, you know?

So even if the universe takes our bond away, we'll still be soulmates. because we choose it

notchatnoir

I would choose you in every lifetime, marinette

marinettedesigned

me too

we clicked on accident, but i love you on purpose

notchatnoir

you’re right

i think maybe that’s what really makes us soulmates

not that we would always find each other

but that we would always choose each other

or like, not that we were made for each other

but that we made ourselves for each other

marinettedesigned

yeah❤️

notchatnoir

you know, in a way, i didn't choose you or ladybug, in the beginning

master fu chose for me and ladybug to be partners

and i guess the universe chose for you and me to soulmates

I didnt have any part of those decisions

but then...then i started choosing for myself

and that's what love is for me, i think

it's a neverending series of of choices

marinettedesigned

exactly

notchatnoir

i didn’t choose to fall in love with either one of you. i didn't choose the way i felt

but then, once i realized it, once i figured out "this is love, this thing i'm feeling," the act of loving was a choice, yk?

i had to choose every day how to love her. and later, how to love you

and even though i still have feelings for her, i choose to love you differently

idk it's like...

i didn't plan to fall for you

but i do plan to love you for the rest of my life

and that plan is what guides like every choice i make

bc no matter what i always want to choose the thing that will help me love you better

I know im young and im very stupid but I am still growing, and all the ways I grow, I grow for you, so I can be more like the person you deserve

marinettedesigned

🥺🥺🥺

but you deserve me exactly as you are ok

we’re both still growing and i hope we just get better and better but the person you are at this exact moment deserves the entire world OKAY????

notchatnoir

i know i will get better and better, bc that’s just the effect of being around you

marinettedesigned

🥺😭‼️

notchatnoir

marinette i dont think you know how, like, powerful you are

the way you influence people

the way you make them feel seen, and valued, and cared for

the way you help them grow just by showing them what a good person looks like

you’re the strongest person i know

and the bravest

and the smartest

and the kindest

and you make me want to be better every day

marinettedesigned

you make me want to be better too

you’ve taught me more about what it means to be a good person than anyone else

i don’t like thinking about what my life would be like if you weren’t in it

i think maybe i would be okay, that i could still be happy, and good

but i also think maybe i would always feel like something was missing

and i know i would never quite become the person i could be

because the very best marinette would always be the marinette who loves you

the marinette that is loved by you

notchatnoir

You. This marinette. I love you

marinettedesigned

I know

I love you, chat noir

And that makes me the best me I could ever be

Loving you has changed me. It’s made me better

it stretches me in all the best ways, and it makes all the air in my lungs feel like an answer

like, this is the why.

Loving you. It’s the why.

notchatnoir

geez im gonna cry aslkdjfajk

like maybe i am a little bit who’s to say

marinettedesigned

im to say

you are crying arent you

notchatnoir

none of your beeswax

marinettedesigned

well it’s also none of your beeswax whether i am crying

notchatnoir

are you crying too

i mean are you crying alone by yourself, the only one of hte two of us who cufrently has tears streaming down their face and their nose is all snotty andd it’s hard to type bc the screen is all blurry due to tears and snot

marinettedesigned

what a beautiful image

one that is entirely unrelatable to me bc my eyes are so dry

notchatnoir

(are u really not crying)

(bc ive been bawling ever since “never apologize for your feelings”)

marinettedesigned

jlasdfsjkdf

flowing like the seine baby

i think for me it was somewhere around when u said u wanted to bring me tampons and hold my hair back when i throw up

notchatnoir

i meant all of it

i will bring you a whole bouquet of tampons

marinettedesigned

LKJSDJKLFSJLKFD

that will not be necessary but thank u

notchatnoir

tbh i am lowkey surprised that my eyes are still able to produce tears

thought the tear fountain would be all dried up after last night lol

im sorry if i made ur hoodie all gross by sniveling into it all night:(

marinettedesigned

well it doesnt smell like hibiscus passion kiss anymore thats for sure

notchatnoir

what does it smell like now

please dont say camembert that will just amke me cry more

marinettedesigned

nah it just smells like Big Sad

notchatnoir

rip

marinettedesigned

ok i have made an executive decision

notchatnoir

what’s that

marinettedesigned

no more sadness allowed 🤠

notchatnoir

uh aight

marinettedesigned

listen listen

we are young

and we are hot

notchatnoir

yell heah we are

marinettedesigned

and we are soulmates

and we are IN LOVE

notchatnoir

YELL HEAH WE ARE

marinettedesigned

and i find all this moping and weeping to be a gross misrepresentation of the nature of our relationship

which is: two young, hot soulmates who are madly in love

notchatnoir

you’re right

but request permission to be at least mildly disappointed that i cant gently kiss you on the forehead

marinettedesigned

granted

highkey that is a big bummer

also that you can’t hibiscus passion kiss me on the lips

notchatnoir

sadcowboy.jpg

marinettedesigned

ok ok we are getting into dangerously Sad territory already!!!

which is not allowed rn because we love each other!! and we choose each other!!!! and that’s happy!!!!

notchatnoir

yeAH

not to sound like a pokemon trainer but i choose you, marinette

marinettedesigned

aslkdjfdjaskf

i pikachoose you too

notchatnoir

SJDFLJFSLJKF

omg. im so proud of you

marinettedesigned

thank you. i learned from the worst

notchatnoir

:’)

omg wait you are MULTIMOUSE

mouse…..pikachu…….it just makes sense

marinettedesigned

im pikachu in the sense that i will electrocute you if you piss me off

notchatnoir

please send me a video of you saying PIKA PIKA in an angry voice

marinettedesigned

no

notchatnoir

i will pay u 10€

marinettedesigned

make it 50

notchatnoir

fine

marinettedesigned

video86.mp4

notchatnoir

THAT WAS SO CUTE IM GOING TO WATCH IT A THOUSAND TIMES

marinettedesigned

lol

hey i have a great idea

notchatnoir

what

marinettedesigned

you come over :)

notchatnoir

aw i cant tn because my dad’s coming back from a business trip tn and i need to be here when he gets home:(

tomorrow???

marinettedesigned

yes

notchatnoir

:)))))))

marinettedesigned

except the rule is NO SAD only happy

notchatnoir

ok<3

marinettedesigned

we are going to have a Groovy Time i declare it

notchatnoir

ooh what do you have planned?

marinettedesigned

here’s our itinerary:

1. have a groovy time

that’s all i got

notchatnoir

let’s go on an adventure

marinettedesigned

what does that even mean

u sound like a basic white girl on tinder 💀

notchatnoir

like….I don’t know

riding the carousel at the park

marinettedesigned

lol that’s what you call an adventure?

notchatnoir

uhhh I don’t know, what would you call an adventure?

marinettedesigned

like, skydiving or something idk

notchatnoir

ok then we’ll do that

not tomorrow but someday

marinettedesigned

i don’t even want to do that

notchatnoir

why

too chicken? >:)

marinettedesigned

no

besides i feel like it’s actually more risky to be hopping around the rooftops with nothing but your little noodle arms between me and the deathly embrace of the cold hard ground

notchatnoir

*your extremely strong, solid, ultra-secure biceps of steel

sry, hate to be the grammar police but u had a little mistake there

marinettedesigned

salkjfdajls

notchatnoir

what do you want to do then

you’re the one who complains about us being boring

marinettedesigned

well i take it back

i like being boring with you

notchatnoir

yeah, me too

like when i think about our future, i know I will have the best time with you on whatever adventures we go on

But still I think my favorite times will be the boring ones

The normal stuff

marinettedesigned

same

notchatnoir

Like when you fall asleep with an ice cream cone and get it everywhere

marinettedesigned

HDJDKSKS IT HAPPENED ONE TIME OK

notchatnoir

or when we bake together and I can wipe the flour off your face

marinettedesigned

and I can kiss the frosting off your lips 💋

notchatnoir

yes please do that and don’t feel like there has to be frosting there first either :)

marinettedesigned

what else

notchatnoir

when we watch a movie that’s not even that scary and you hold on to me really tight and I have to pretend to be tough even though I’m just as scared as you

marinettedesigned

DHDJDKD

and let me guess

When I sneeze lol

notchatnoir

yes yes.

The sneezes most of all

I don’t want to miss any of them

marinettedesigned

pikACHOO

notchatnoir

LJSFDLKFJS

marinettedesigned

ok but I’ve seen you battle mr pigeon enough times to know that sneezes are not romantic in any way lmao

notchatnoir

well not romantic haha but just

It’s just you there and I don’t wanna miss a single thing, even your sneezes

marinettedesigned

you’ve heard of fomo now get ready for: foms (fear of missing sneezes)

notchatnoir

djdjdmdm

Yes it’s a symptom of a chronic condition called I Love Marinette Dupain-Cheng And I Want To Spend Every Minute With Her Until I Die

marinettedesigned

aka marinette simp disorder 💅

notchatnoir

yes that is the common name

Fortunately it’s incurable

marinettedesigned

good

I’ve heard another one of the symptoms is receiving lots of smooches

notchatnoir

yeah_i_sure_hope_it_does.jpg

marinette can i be weird for a second

marinettedesigned

oh im sorry, is that not already what you were doing

notchatnoir

lsjdaflja

ok but for real

this might sound kinda awkward but i just wanted to thank you for saving me

marinettedesigned

saving you?

notchatnoir

yeah

last night. you saved me

and you saved me from the akuma the other night

marinettedesigned

i wasnt even there ?

if i was i would’ve told hawkmoth exactly where he can stick his stupid butterflies

notchatnoir

fSLJDKFJLKF

well even if you werent there you still saved me

so thank you

marinettedesigned

how exactly did i do that

notchatnoir

by just like. existing i guess

right when the akuma almost had me, plagg played me your song on my phone

and he brought me your lucky charm

and your hoodie

and thinking of you made me calm down enough to make the akuma go away

marinettedesigned

really🥺

notchatnoir

yeah

you know, i always thought it was my job to protect you

like, as a superhero but also just as a friend. and as a boyfriend. and a soulmate

and i mean it is

i’ll always do whatever i can to keep you safe

marinettedesigned

i know!! and you do

notchatnoir

but you’ve taught me that protecting someone means so much more than just keeping them out of harm’s way

because sometimes we can’t help it

the people we love get hurt no matter how hard we try to prevent it

so protecting them means just being there for them

it means staying with them even when it’s ugly

when they really, really need someone to stay

and holding them while they cry

it means giving them a safe space to be hurt

until they’re better again

that’s what you did for me and i am so grateful

marinettedesigned

chat🥺🥺🥺🥺

notchatnoir

thank you for protecting me marinette

for taking care of me. keeping me safe

marinettedesigned

i’ll always keep you safe❤️

notchatnoir

i know

i always feel safe with you. because you’re home

marinettedesigned

you’re home for me too

also i was lying about your noodle arms

they’re the place i always feel safest

notchatnoir

good

tell me something i don’t knwo?

marinettedesigned

.. / .... .- ...- . / -... . . -. / .-.. .- .-. -. .. -. --. / -- --- -. ... . / -.-. --- -. .

notchatnoir

oh, i see you have been “larning monse cone”

marinettedesigned

JLDSSDLJFK

ok maybe i missed a few dots or whatever lol

notchatnoir

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-

marinettedesigned

i love you too❤️

tmsidk

notchatnoir

sometimes i write you love letters

marinettedesigned

oh really i didn’t know that lol

notchatnoir

no i mean letters i’ve never given you

marinettedesigned

why not?

can you give them to me now🥺🥺

notchatnoir

i cant

not yet

because they would give away who i am

idk sometimes i just want to talk to you without having to be careful. so i say everything i want to say in a letter

and i sign it with my real name

i have a lot of them actually haha. i started doing that even before we clicked

marinettedesigned

will you give them to me, someday?

notchatnoir

yeah

someday

marinettedesigned

aaaa i wish i had love letters to give you too :(

I’ve never been as good as you about saying how I feel

notchatnoir

you still say it

just not necessarily in words i guess

i mean, yeah you do say it in words, but i’ve always thought that the way you show care for people is by what you do for them

marinettedesigned

i think you’re right

you know, I used to tell adrien I loved him all the time. With gifts and elaborate plans to get to spend time with him and stuff

but he never noticed because I never actually said it, you know?

notchatnoir

yeah, that makes sense

marinettedesigned

ugh sorry, i didn’t mean to bring that up again

it just made me realize that I was telling you I loved you too, long before we clicked, before I even knew it

notchatnoir

yeah?

marinettedesigned

yeah

In the way I would make your favorite cookies ahead of time so you could have them fresh instead of the leftovers

how i’d wait for you at my window every night, hoping you would come, even if you didn’t say anything

how i’d procrastinate all my responsibilities so i could spend time with you haha

and stay up so late with you that it made me fall asleep in class the next day just because i couldn’t bear to ask you to leave

i know i said i made our matching lucky charms to be like best friend charms but i was lying

i was so in love with you already…..i can’t believe i was too stupid to realize it alsdjkfdasj

notchatnoir

lol it took me much longer than i’d like to admit to realize i was in love with you too

marinettedesigned

sometimes i’d even google PUN ideas so i could make you laugh

how did i not know salkdfak

notchatnoir

you did that for me? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

marinettedesigned

yeah haha

you’re such a terrible influence on me 😔

but your laugh is so cute and i wanted to hear it so bad and i wanted to be the one who made you laugh

notchatnoir

you make me laugh all the time

marinettedesigned

you make me laugh too <3

notchatnoir

cause im a clown?

marinettedesigned

yep. and i like it that way

don't tell anyone

but you're actually my favorite person in the world

notchatnoir

awww i can't tell anyone??? come on, that's major brag material

me, favorite person of THE marinette dupain-cheng???? please

marinettedesigned

yeah i know

but it's embarrassing to be in love with a catboy

notchatnoir

what about when im not a catboy

marinettedesigned

when are u not a catboy

notchatnoir

when im not suited up, duh

marinettedesigned

u think u stop being a catboy when you take the ears off?? lies. you wear them on your heart.

notchatnoir

ok you're right

im always a catboy

and you love me anyway right

marinettedesigned

sigh

yes i do

notchatnoir

ah my dad’s back, i gotta go!

i can’t wait to be boring with you tomorrow ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

love you

marinettedesigned

love you too

WAIT WTF IS THIS U???

notchatnoir

is what me

marinettedesigned

screenshot341.png

SOMEONE ANONYMOUSLY SENT ME 50€???????

notchatnoir

that wasn’t me

marinettedesigned

the alias they gave is “the catastrophically sexy owner of the cutest butt in the world”??????

notchatnoir

you’re right, that could describe no one else but me

marinettedesigned

CHAT OMG

DID U REALLY

notchatnoir

well yeah im a cat of my word

marinettedesigned

THAT'S SO MUCH MONEY WHY

FOR A STUPID 5-SECOND VID OF ME SAYING PIKA PIKA

notchatnoir

well worth the price

marinettedesigned

how do i send this back 🔪

notchatnoir

u cant

marinettedesigned

im not taking all this money from u!!!

notchatnoir

how many times do we have to establish this

i am loaded

i am also expected elsewhere so good night princess i will see you tomorrow

marinettedesigned

... - ..- .--. .. -.. / .-. .- - !!!!!!

notchatnoir

stupid rat?

i think that actually refers to u bestie

pika pika<3

marinettedesigned

aljskdfdljka dangit

notchatnoir

aight byeeeeeee 😘

marinettedesigned

bye❤️

Chapter 26: iconic soulmate behavior

Summary:

“Um, okay.” She grabbed a notebook and paused, pen poised over the paper. “What should rule number one be?”

“Love each other,” Chat Noir said. “Duh.”

Notes:

aight this chapter did NOT wanna come together and it ended up way longer than i intended even after i chopped a couple parts. i should probably have chopped more because most of it is not strictly Necessary but i couldn't bring myself to 🥴 sorry if any of the pacing is weird!! im tired and i give up! lol

P.S. this one is dedicated to anyone who at some point mentioned Pushing Daisies in the comments 🤪 askljfdak

ETA: rileyclaw made some BEAUTIFUL art of this chapter 😭😭 see the endnotes for the link!

“Can I look now?” Chat Noir asked.

Marinette let out a huff. “No! I told you not to come yet so I’d have time to finish. It’s your fault you have to wait.”

She turned her focus back to the plush snail she was sewing. Since she didn’t know Chat Noir’s actual birthday, she sometimes gave him presents on random days to celebrate his “maybe-birthday.” It was a silly tradition, but she’d been doing it for years.

“I have something for you too, actually,” he said.

“Oh? What is it?”

“It’s a surprise. And I can’t give it to you yet. It has to be later tonight.”

She pulled the needle through the fabric again. “That sounds mysterious.”

“The mystery is necessary.”

“If you say so.” She finished the last stitch and cut the thread. “There! All done.”

She put the snail in the box with the other gifts and placed the lid on top. Then she plopped down next to him on the chaise, pushing the box into his hands. “Happy maybe-birthday, Chat Noir.”

“Why, thank you.”

He lifted the lid and pulled out the first gift: a bright orange scarf, thick and soft.

“Wow, did you knit this yourself?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “And it’s your favorite color.”

He wrapped it around his neck. “It’s also very cozy. Just like you.”

“Yes, I know. I’m the best best-friend-girlfriend-soulmate ever.”

He reached into the box and brought out a bottle next. “Lotion?”

“Yep. To keep your hands expensive for your hand-modeling career. And to keep them soft for when you can hold mine.”

“That’s very considerate. And it’s the perfect scent.” He held it up, showing off where she had scribbled out the “Sunrise” part of “Hibiscus Sunrise” and written “Passion Kiss” in permanent marker.

He kept going through the box. There was a bag of Very Bad Kids, a plate of passionfruit macarons, and an especially cool rock that she had scoured the park across the street to find. When he saw the Mickey ears (for when they went to Disneyland together), he immediately perched them on his head in front of his cat ears, which was both ridiculous looking and ineffective, since they kept falling off. And when he found the plushie snail in honor of Marcel, he smiled and placed it gently on the pillow, as if it might break.

“He’s a very delicate snail, if you remember,” he explained, and Marinette laughed.

He peered back into the box. “Oh, there’s a card! I didn’t notice.” He slipped it from the envelope and read out loud:

I enjoy Chat Noir’s sense of humor. He is the funniest person I know. I also find him catastrophically sexy. Plus he has a very cute butt.

Signed,

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

By the time he reached the end, he was grinning so big she thought he might jump up and start moonwalking around the room (which he had done on several occasions for much less).

“So, am I as good at writing love letters as you are?” Marinette asked. “I put a lot of thought into that.”

“Better. A million times better. This is the most romantic thing you could’ve ever said to me.”

She laughed. “I thought so.”

He reached into the box again and came up with a stick of lip balm.

“Coconut?” he asked.

“Of course.”

He uncapped it and spread it over his lips. “Want some?” He held up the stick.

“Um … sure.”

She bent forward, parting her lips. He leaned in to meet her, and she tried to keep her breath steady as he dragged the balm slowly over her lips.

“There.” He leaned back, grinning. “We shared it. That’s almost like kissing, right?”

Marinette’s pulse thrummed. She wet her lips, even though they were already moist with lip balm. “That’s actually the last present.”

“Huh?”

“In the box. There’s one more.”

He turned back and fished out a roll of cling wrap. “This? I thought you put it in here by accident.”

She shook her head, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “Not an accident. Pull off a square.”

“Um … okay.” He cut off a measure of plastic.

“Now hold it up,” she said. “Between our faces.”

He lifted the square and stretched it out between them, holding her gaze through the plastic.

“Now what?” he whispered.

Marinette’s face was burning and her heart was pounding and her brain was nagging at her, telling her it was too risky (not to mention very weird and tacky and stupid). But she didn’t care. She stared at his lips through the clear barrier between them, trying not to think about how Tikki was probably watching them from one of her various hiding nooks.

“Now you kiss me,” she breathed.

He held her gaze for just a moment longer. Then he leaned in.

And kissed her.

It wasn’t like the click (she knew it wouldn’t be—it couldn’t be), but she could feel his warmth through the plastic, and that was enough to make her heart stutter and her head spin. A golden rush shimmered through her, all the way down to her toes, and she had to stuff her hands in the pouch of her hoodie to keep them from finding their way into his hair. He pressed in closer, parting his lips against hers, and a shiver ran through her. She angled her head to reach him better, and the plastic creaked, clinging to her skin when she tried to pull away.

She froze, cheeks flushed. “This is weird, isn’t it?”

“Don’t care,” he murmured, and his lips were back on hers before she could say anything else.

The freshly applied lip balm made her lips stick awkwardly to the film, and she couldn’t help but imagine how stupid they must look. But she kept her eyes closed and tried to ignore it. Because those were Chat Noir’s lips on the other side of the barrier, with just a fraction of a fraction of a centimeter between them, and that fact made it suddenly very easy to remember exactly how it felt to kiss him as a soulmate for the very first time. She remembered how warm he had been, how safe and sure she’d felt, how he’d filled her up with light, how he’d made her bloom inside.

At last they broke apart, staring at each other for a moment through the plastic. Then they both laughed softly.

“We just kissed,” Marinette whispered.

He lowered the cling wrap. “I know. I was there.”

“We just kissed a sheet of plastic and that’s incredibly weird and awkward of us.”

“I thought it was incredibly clever and iconic of us.” He grinned. “Well, clever of you, I guess. I don’t know how I’ve spent months and months thinking about kissing you, and I never thought of this. Like, I could’ve been kissing you this whole time.”

“I mean, kind of.” She breathed out a laugh. “Not exactly like the real thing.”

“Close enough,” he said, and he raised the plastic to press another kiss to her lips.

Her stomach twisted. “Chat, do you think … I mean, do you feel like …”

“What?”

She bit her lip. “Like we’ve been bending too many rules lately. Like we’re taking too many risks.”

He frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe … those just aren’t the right rules for us anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we weren’t even together when we made that friendship contract. I mean, we had barely become friends.” He paused. “I think we need a new set of rules. For soulmates.”

“Like what?”

He tilted his head at her, considering. “You know what? Let’s make it official.” He steered her to her desk chair and pressed a pen into her hand. “You can be the scribe.”

“Um, okay.” She grabbed a notebook and paused, pen poised over the paper. “What should rule number one be?”

“Love each other,” Chat Noir said. “Duh.”

She wrote it down.

“No, add the ‘duh’ too,” he ordered. “That’s essential.”

She snorted. “Fine.”

He took the chair next to her, and together they came up with a list of ten rules:

Marinette and Chat Noir’s Rules for Iconic Soulmate Behavior

1. Love each other. (Duh.)

2. Trust each other.

3. Choose each other every day.

4. Be honest.

5. Respect boundaries.

6. Carry the hard stuff together.

7. Go on adventures sometimes.

8. Be boring sometimes.

9. Take turns being the little spoon.

10. Hold hands :)

Chat wanted to add an eleventh rule (“Smooch each other with just my two lips and your two lips and no awkward plastic chaperone”) but sadly, Marinette had to veto it since they couldn’t follow it yet. Instead, they made a wishlist as a compromise:

• Kiss
• Smooch
• Make out
• Get André’s ice cream
• Go to the movies
• People watch at the Arts et Métiers station and then ride the metro together
• Go to Disneyland
• Get a hamster
• Kiss some more
• Get married
• Have kids
• Be happy together forever until we die :)
• Kiss as ghosts

“Okay, okay,” Marinette said finally. “I think we’ve covered all the bases. Are we done?”

“No way. You didn’t even write down ‘get a ghost hamster.’”

“That’s implied.” She signed her name at the bottom of the paper. “Okay. Your turn.”

She handed the pen to Chat Noir. He took it, but his hand just hovered over the paper.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

He let out a breath. “It feels weird to sign this without my real name. ‘Chat Noir’ doesn’t feel the same. Like, it’s not as real. And I want this to be real. I mean it.”

“I know you do,” she said. “So just sign it ‘Chat Noir,’ and we’ll both know it means something else.”

His gaze flickered to her face. “But you won’t know what it actually means.”

(A familiar name whispered in the cavern of her ribcage, but she swallowed the echo and buried it in under a stack of heavy heartbeats.)

“I don’t have to,” she said firmly. “I just have to know you mean it.”

He smiled softly. Then he looked back at the paper and signed “Chat Noir” in careful letters.

After that, he insisted that it was still too early for him to give her his surprise, so they climbed up to her bed and settled against her cat pillow with Marcel the snail tucked snugly between them. He put his Mickey ears on her and they shared the plate of macarons while they played “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know.” She learned that he loved rainy days and romcoms and that he always went out of his way to step on crunchy-looking leaves in the autumn, just like she did. She told him about her strange addiction to tiny house videos and how she sometimes skipped to the end of books to see how the story ended (which he called “an atrocious crime of unspeakable magnitude”). He told her that he took random online quizzes when he was bored and that according to Buzzfeed, he was a hamburger with lettuce instead of buns and was only 33 percent “bro.”

Somewhere around the time he admitted that public fountains made him sad because he wasn’t allowed to splash around in them, he ended up with his head in her lap. She played with his hair while they watched cat fail videos on YouTube, and they both laughed so hard that their sides hurt.

But eventually, Marinette’s eyelids grew heavy, and she must have dozed off, because then Chat Noir was shaking her gently awake.

“It’s time to go,” he said.

“Go where?” she mumbled.

“On an adventure.”

She squinted at her phone screen. “It’s, like, one in the morning.”

“Perfect time for an adventure,” he said.

“It’s also the perfect time to go to sleep.”

“But what about our new rule number seven?” He lowered himself to her level, blinking his big, stupid kitty eyes at her. “Don’t you want your present?”

She groaned half-heartedly. “We have to go somewhere to get it?”

“It’ll be worth it,” he said. “I promise.”

So Marinette ended up on Chat Noir’s back, burying her face in his new orange scarf while he whisked her off to some mystery location. The cool night air whipped through her hair and swept away all the last traces of sleep, until she was wide awake with her eyes shut tight against the wind.

After a while, Chat Noir landed, and everything went still. She opened her eyes. They were in some kind of public park. Scattered trees surrounded them, and a lake glimmered nearby. Branches rustled above their heads.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“Bois de Vincennes.” He set her down gently in the grass. “I told you I’d bring you here someday, remember? So we could see the stars.”

She blinked. “That’s your present?”

“Uh … ”

It was hard to see in the dark, but she thought he might be blushing.

“You’re—you’re giving me the stars?” she asked, voice hushed. “As a gift? The literal, actual stars?”

He looked down. “I mean … yeah, I guess so. I know that’s lame, but—”

“No, no!” She grabbed his hands. “It’s perfect.”

He smiled. “I hope so. I wanted us to wait until it was late enough that most of the city lights would be out. Luckily it’s a clear night. See?”

He tugged her forward, out from beneath the shelter of the tree. She looked up.

The sky was a vast stretch of midnight blue above their heads, dotted with hundreds and hundreds of stars. It reminded her of art—a spray of white paint on a dark canvas, a swath of glittering fabric draped over the trees, a careful pattern of needlepoint punctures through a black veil—but it was so much more, grand and delicate all at once, more than anything she could replicate, even if she wanted to.

“Wow,” she breathed. “I didn’t know there would be so many. I mean, I’ve seen stars before, obviously, and I guess, like, intellectually I knew there were more than I could see, but … it’s different to actually see it, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Chat said. “I thought the same thing last night.”

She tore her eyes away from the sky. “You came here last night?”

“Yeah. I wanted to scout it out before I brought you. The park is open twenty-four seven, so people can be here anytime, and I wanted to find somewhere we could sit and watch the stars without anyone seeing us. Like … here.”

They were near the edge of the lake now. He led her through a small clump of trees to an open area in the middle. Willow branches hung in front along the shoreline, and the surrounding trees provided some cover from behind.

“Not a bad hiding place, right?” Chat said. “And look.”

He pointed up to the clear patch of sky above them. She sank down into the grass and lay back, staring up at the stars. Chat Noir joined her, finding her hand in the dark to thread their fingers together.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

For a while, they said nothing else. Just lay side by side, in the grass, between the trees, under the stars. Chat Noir was still and warm beside her, running his thumb gently over hers. She could feel every rise and fall of his chest, and without her even meaning to, her breath fell into the same rhythm. She swelled with him and fell with him, a cadence like the tide, while underneath, soft and steady, her heart beat in perfect sync with his. She lay with his hand a warm anchor in hers and watched the night settle over them, the stars sinking into her skin. It felt a little bit like sleep, but alive, alive, alive.

At last, she broke the silence. “You know, stargazing is actually the perfect mixture of boring and adventure.”

“Are you calling me boring?” He scoffed.

She laughed. “You are many, many things, Chat Noir, but boring has never been one of them.”

He turned his head to face her. “What am I, then?”

“You’re … warm. And you’re sweet. And you’re brave. And you’re thoughtful. And you’re safe. And you’re silly. And you’re very, very stupid.”

“Hey!”

She grinned and dropped his hand, bringing her glove to his face instead. He watched her with his brown-paper smile while she gently brushed his hair back, exposing his forehead and ears.

“You’re ruining the effect,” he murmured.

“What, the effect of you hiding your ears so you can sell the catboy thing?”

“Exactly.”

“You can’t fool me.”

“No?”

“No. Because …”

She stared at him—at the gentle curve of his cheek, lined in moonlight; at his green eyes, soft and bright; at his lips, curved in her favorite smile—and something warm and star-bright swelled in the pit of her stomach. He was beautiful, and he was kind, and he was honest, and when he offered his heart, he meant it, and when he waited for her, he was patient, and when he touched her, she fell in love, and it had been that way from the very beginning.

“… because I already know exactly who you are,” she whispered.

His lips parted, releasing a breath. He took her hand again and brought it to his cheek, lips pressed against her palm.

“I’m glad,” he said.

He held her gaze for a long moment, and she gazed back while her breath slowed to match his.

She wet her lips. “It’s pretty stupid that we came all the way out here to look at the stars and neither of us are looking at them.”

“Oh, I am looking at the stars.” He tapped a claw gently across her nose, following the pattern of her freckles.

She snorted. “That’s so cheesy.”

“I simply camembert to look away from you, princess.”

“Oh my gosh.”

“What? I thought that was pretty gouda.”

She shoved his face away with her glove.

“Noooo! Come on.” He pulled her hand down, grinning. “I can’t help that you’re way prettier than the stars.”

She couldn’t keep from blushing. “Well, you’re very pretty too.”

“Catastrophically sexy, actually. I have it in writing.”

She bit back a laugh. “Shut up.”

He did, for a minute. She looked back up at the sky, but she could still feel his eyes on her.

“You remind me of the stars,” he said finally. “That’s kind of why I wanted to bring you here.”

She looked back at him. “Oh? Do I detect some sappy poetry incoming? I’m all ears. Please tell me how I light up your life and fill up your sky and whatever.”

“Well, now you’ve ruined it.”

“No, no. I want to hear it.”

“Fine.” He let out a breath, keeping his eyes fixed on the patch of sky above them. “You’re like the stars because stars are really suns, just far away. But it doesn’t matter that they’re far away, or that we can’t touch them, because they’re there, all around us, and if you’re looking you can see them so clearly. And when you do see them, for real, they take your breath away. And you feel so small and insignificant—like, almost unworthy, in a way? But at the same time they make you feel so … important. Like, you’re important because you’re part of the same universe as something so extraordinary, and they’re shining down on you from light-years away, billions of them, and if the stars see you so clearly the way that you see them, that means something, right? Like, that you’re made of the same stuff as infinity, and maybe there’s light in you too, and when the stars reflect inside you, they fill you up and make you something more worthy than you were before you knew them. Something more whole.”

Everything inside her was still, like she’d somehow swallowed the sky and all the stars were suspended inside her ribcage. Chat Noir turned his head to look at her, and she could see them, like a mirror, in his eyes.

“I could compare you to the sun,” he went on. “I could say you give me warmth and light and life and talk about how I can always count on you to be there and stuff, and it would all be true, but it’s—it’s not enough. Because you’re not just one sun, Marinette; you’re all of them together, spreading light across the whole entire universe, and you’re, like—you’re art. And you’re poetry. And you’re this infinite celestial wonder and you’re this simple, quiet beauty and you’re the map that always leads to home and you’re, um …” He swallowed. “You’re stars.”

Marinette gaped. She was blushing, hard, and she wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. Not when he was looking at her Like That with his big earnest eyes and his soft, sweet smile and his stupid, cute face. So she just gawked at him awkwardly with her heart feeling too big for her chest. (A part of her wondered just how much she should buy in to this sap, because really, it was so melodramatic, and they were just fluffy words, and she was acting like such a sucker right now, and she should probably just laugh and roll her eyes, because wasn’t Chat just a big cheesy dope, and didn’t all boyfriends say mushy things like that?)

(No, she realized. Not like this. Because other boyfriends weren’t soulmates, and other soulmates weren’t Chat Noir. Because Chat Noir was silly sometimes, but he was also honest, and when he offered his heart, he meant it, and it had been that way from the very beginning.)

“So, um, how bad was that?” Chat Noir asked.

Her cheeks burned. She covered her face with the sleeves of her hoodie. “You can’t just do that.”

“Do what?”

She gestured vaguely. “That. Like, say all that … stuff.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know! It’s just—I just …” She groaned and buried her face in his chest. His arms came around her immediately, as if it were a reflex.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he said.

“You didn’t make me … well, I mean, yeah, if by ‘uncomfortable’ you mean, like, overwhelmed and slightly embarrassed and basically just about to, like, explode.”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was just being honest.”

“I know. I know.” She lifted her head to see his face. “That’s one of the things I love most about you. That—that even though you have to hide so much, you’re always honest about the things that really matter. I guess I’m less embarrassed about the things you say to me and more about … the things I can’t say to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean … I love you like poetry and art and stars and all that stuff you said too. I love you like in the cheesy romance movies, only way, way more—like, I love you in the sappiest, most embarrassing way possible, like all the worst clichés times a million, but I don’t … I don’t know how to say that. And I don’t know how you do say it.”

“I just think about you a lot. And sometimes I tell you what I’ve been thinking.” He shrugged, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

She didn’t know how to answer. So she just nestled closer, breathing in the night air on his skin.

“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.

“I’m thinking about how you said you felt unworthy, but the stars make you feel important.”

“You make me feel important.”

“Good.” She brushed a thumb across his cheek. “Because you are important. And you’ve never, ever been unworthy, even for a second. Even when you felt like you were. You’re good and you’re important. And you’re mine.”

She pressed a kiss to his mask and settled back against him, and for a while they watched the stars again. It was quiet, and calm, and comfortable, but something scratched at the back of her mind. She knew she should be waiting for the familiar ache to come, but Chat Noir was holding her and he thought she was the stars and she didn’t want to ache at all.

“You know, it’s weird,” she said at last.

“What, your obsession with tiny houses?”

She smacked him lightly in the chest, laughing. “Shut up! They’re so small and cute.”

“Like someone I know.” He grinned.

“I’m not that small.”

“Yes, you are. Just look at our hands.”

He held his up and she pressed hers flat against it.

“Well, maybe you just have giant hands,” she said.

He shifted his hand and slid his fingers between hers, linking them together. “Still a perfect fit, though.”

She bit her lip. “That’s actually what I meant, kind of.”

“Huh?”

“Like. Our bond. The perfect fit.” She took a breath. “It’s weird because I used to feel it so much. Or I guess, like, feel its absence? ’Cause it hurt. It hurt to not touch you because I knew my soul fit with yours and I couldn’t let it. Like, the shapes are a perfect fit but I had to keep space in between. And I could feel that space all the time.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said.

“I don’t …” She hesitated. “I don’t really feel it anymore.”

He didn’t answer right away. “Me neither,” he admitted quietly.

She swallowed. “Do you think that means …”

His eyes fell shut, and for a moment, it was silent.

“Marinette, what if …”

“What if what?”

He opened his eyes, mask furrowed over his browline. “What if I kissed you. Right now.”

“I—I didn’t bring the plastic wrap.”

“No, I mean, like … what if I just … kissed you.”

She blinked. “For real?”

He nodded. “What … would—should I? I mean, can I?”

She nodded slowly. He lifted himself off the grass and leaned over her, lowering his head. He was so close that she could feel his warmth in the air between them. His breath fanned across her lips, making them tingle.

“Wait,” she whispered.

He froze.

“I, um … I just …”

He pulled back. “No, no. It’s okay. Sorry I asked.”

She sighed. “Chat. You know I want to kiss you. Right?”

“Yeah,” he said, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“I’m just … scared. To find out.”

His gaze flickered to hers. “To find out whether it’s dead?”

She felt a sting deep in her chest, an ache she didn’t want to remember.

A lump rose in her throat. “Yeah.”

“I’m scared too,” he said. “But we have to find out sometime, right? We have to check.”

“Does it … do we have to check today?”

“No. No, it doesn’t have to be today.” She couldn’t read his face in the shadows, but she knew he was disappointed.

“Chat Noir. Listen.” She inched closer in the grass. “If we check right now, and it’s gone, and it’s safe, I’ll be happy to be able to touch you again.”

“But?”

“But I’ll also be sad. And I think … I think I’ll be more sad than happy at first.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I don’t want our second first kiss to be sad,” she said softly.

A pause. “I understand.”

“And … and today we’re supposed to be happy,” she said. “It’s the rule. Remember?”

“I know.”

“So can we just … can we wait till tomorrow?” she asked. “In case we have to be sad?”

He searched her eyes. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she echoed.

He opened his arms and she pressed herself against him, warm in the cool of the night.

“I’m going to kiss you tomorrow,” he said.

“Without any plastic wrap,” she added.

“I’m going to kiss you. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” He pulled back to look at her. “And if it’s dead, and I can’t feel you anymore, you’ll just have to tell me how you feel. Whenever I ask. Even when I don’t ask. Just all the time, tell me how you feel, so I’ll always know anyway. Deal?”

“Deal.” She looked up at him. “Right now I feel like I am very much in love with you.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll pass.”

She laughed. “It really won’t.”

“Good.” He pressed a finger-kiss to her lips. “I love you too.”

She rested her head against his shoulder, slipping her arm under his to take his hand. “Tell me something I don’t know?”

He was quiet for a minute, eyes locked on the sky. “I used to think you were Ladybug,” he said.

She stiffened against him. “What?”

“I mean … I don’t know if I really thought you were her. I guess I just wished you were.”

She should’ve laughed it off. Played it cool. Cracked a joke. But instead she found herself asking, “How come?”

He sighed. “Because I figured out I was in love with you, but I didn’t know how to let her go yet. I loved you both and it was killing me because you were both the smartest, kindest, most amazing girls I knew. And I just couldn’t help thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it be perfect if they were actually the same person?’”

Marinette didn’t know what to say. She stared up at the sky too, hoping he couldn’t feel how her heartbeat had quickened.

“Sometimes she reminds me of you,” he went on. “Like, the way she scrunches her nose when she’s trying to figure something out. And how she doesn’t know what to do with her hands when she’s embarrassed. And how she says ‘bolth’ instead of ‘both.’”

She swallowed. “But I don’t do that.”

“Yes, you do.” He dragged a finger across the bridge of her nose, feather light. “She has stars too. They’re kind of hidden under her mask, but you can see them up close.”

She knew she shouldn’t look at him, because what if he could see? What if she gave herself away?

But he drew her in, an irresistible pull, like magnets or oceans or gravity, and she had to look back, had to meet his eyes where they were waiting for her.

“Sometimes …” he breathed, “sometimes she goes quiet, and she looks at me, and … and I kind of think …”

Marinette held still, staring up at his wide, searching eyes. He held her gaze for a second, and she felt a strange lurch in the pit of her stomach, like the moment of weightlessness before a drop.

He let out a breath, lips slipping into a smile. “It’s pretty stupid, right?”

No. It’s me. You’re right. It’s me.

“Yeah,” she said. “Really, really stupid.”

She looked down at their hands, twined together. Could he feel her pulse thudding in her fingertips? Could he read the truth written on her face?

(Could he tell how much she wished she could tell him he was right?)

“Can I ask you something now?” he asked.

She took a steadying breath. “Shoot.”

“The other night, how did you know I was coming?”

She blinked. “I—I didn’t.”

“Then why were you waiting for me on the balcony?”

“I wasn’t …” She glanced at him. “I wasn’t waiting for you. I just couldn’t sleep, so I came out to get some air.”

He nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she repeated.

“I heard you. I was just wondering.” He smiled. It was warm, and it was bright, but there was something buried underneath, something that itched beneath her skin, something that scared her (something that thrilled her).

“Okay,” she said quietly.

 

---

 

When they finally left the park, it was past three in the morning. Marinette was practically falling asleep on Chat Noir’s back, but by the time he landed on her balcony, she was awake enough to ache at the thought of saying goodbye. Chat Noir didn’t leave right away. He cupped her cheeks and looked at her for a long time, as if he were trying to memorize her face.

“Tomorrow,” he said.

She nodded. “Tomorrow.”

He helped her down to bed. Then he left her with a finger-kiss and a whispered, “I love you.”

Tikki greeted her tiredly and then drifted back to sleep. Marinette thought she’d do the same, exhausted as she was, but instead she found herself wide awake. She lay on her back and stared up through her skylight, thinking of stars, and secrets, and soulmates.

Tomorrow, she thought. Technically it would be today, since the sun would be rising in just a few hours, and she would probably end up sleeping till noon, and Mom would frown when she finally came down, because even though it was the weekend she should still try to keep a decent sleep schedule—but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that. Because she’d spent all night in Chat Noir’s arms and he’d given her the stars and tomorrow (today) he was going to kiss her, finally, for real.

She closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, like if she tried hard enough she could somehow feel the imprint of the last kiss he’d left there. It felt like a lifetime ago, but she could still remember it.

“Tomorrow,” she whispered to herself.

Tomorrow.

Notes:

WE'RE SO CLOSE. ONLY ONE MORE PROSE CHAPTER. AAAAAAA

P.S. I know the whole both/bolth thing does not apply in French lol but I just intended it to be some little speech idiosyncrasy that he would recognize between marinette and LB

ETA: here is Riley’s art 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Chapter 27: spupermodle

Summary:

marinettedesigned

sljfKLDKJ THATS SO FUNNY UR SMO STUPID

SPUPERMODLE HAHAHAAZH

notchatnoir

yes that’s me, chatnori the kittykiitty spupermodle

Notes:

been a while since we've had a flashback chapter! this is pre-click

7 months ago

21:48

notchatnoir

hey marinette

i know you’re working on a super important commission for rock legend jagged stone and you have to get it done by 13h tomorrow so he can wear it onstage at his sold-out show debuting his highly anticipated eleventh album Leather Weather but

marinettedesigned

BUT????????

there is no but to that??????

i said emergencies ONLY

notchatnoir

yes i know

this is an emergency

marinettedesigned

oml it better be!!!

what is it

notchatnoir

i just wanted to say hi :)

marinettedesigned

im gonna kill u

notchatnoir

no no no listen wait i had a good reason

marinettedesigned

is the reason that you wish for a sure and sudden death

notchatnoir

wouldn’t killing me distract you from your project

marinettedesigned

…

worth it

notchatnoir

ok well before you kill me, why don’t you take a break?

marinettedesigned

im not going to take a break to hang out with you chat!!

omg i know u like to be a needy little kitty but literally i do not have time right now

notchatnoir

no no no that’s not what i meant at all!!

i mean take a break alone

marinettedesigned

i can’t, i really need to get this done!! 😩😩

notchatnoir

i know. im just trying to help you ok?

knowing you, you’ve probably been working on it nonstop since you got home from school

so by my calculations, that would be about 5 hours right

marinettedesigned

maybe?? idk

notchatnoir

ok well it’s break time

marinettedesigned

i cant!! ugh you’ve distracted me long enough already, im losing time BYE

notchatnoir

marinette please listen

i know this seems counterproductive but you really need to take a break now ok

marinettedesigned

chAT

notchatnoir

here’s what i need you to do:

1. stand up and stretch

2. go to the bathroom (i know you’ve probably been holding it in for two hours. stop that)

3. get a drink of water and a snack (yes you are hungry and thirsty, don’t lie)

4. eat your snack and watch a hamster video. Mr Hamster uploaded a maze video today that’s 8 mins 47 secs and it’s really good

marinettedesigned

:///

notchatnoir

this is the real reason i interrupted your work ok

you always overwork yourself and if you don’t take breaks you’re going to burn out

i bet your back is sore and your eyes are bleary and your mouth is dry and your stomach is growling am i right??

marinettedesigned

…..ok yes maybe a little

notchatnoir

just take a break. you’ll be able to do better work when you come back, i promise

it’ll only be 20 minutes or so

although if you wanted to take a power nap on top of this that would also be a good idea

you’re gonna be staying up late anyway i assume so you need to get some energy back

marinettedesigned

ok ok fine

but only because you risked your life to deliver these instructions

notchatnoir

yes if you still feel like killing me after the hamster video then feel free but i refuse to die before then

marinettedesigned

fair enough

---

 

01:16

notchatnoir

how’s it coming

im not looking to chat i just wanted to check in

actually sorry i bothered you, dont answer

good luck

marinettedesigned

no no it’s fine, im due for a little break

it was really helpful last time. thanks for forcing me to take one lol

notchatnoir

you’re welcome

i was just worried about you

marinettedesigned

i know

that’s sweet of you

it was actually perfect timing too bc alya came by like right after that

she didnt stay long, she was just doing the same thng as you hahaha

like making sure i took a break

we actually watched the hamster video together

notchatnoir

oh good, i had backup lol

i can always rely on the ladyblogger ✌️

marinettedesigned

lol yup

notchatnoir

well i wont distract you anymore but before i go could you send me a progress shot?

marinettedesigned

IMG_1846.jpg

notchatnoir

HOLY FREAK marinette that looks AMAZING!!!!!!

marinettedesigned

thanks!

i’ve made a lot of progress which is good

notchatnoir

is it not done? it looks pretty done to me ?

marinettedesigned

no i actually still have a TON left. like, hours of work

omg why didn’t i start this earlier 😭😭

notchatnoir

um probably bc you had like 17 other things going on this week?

you had a chemistry exam and you helped throw a surprise party for rose’s birthday and you worked in the bakery and babysat manon and you visited that elderly neighbor of yours, mr. whoever who has the tiny pet turtle, to help him like...make a special soup or something? idk

plus there were two akuma attacks which im sure did not help at all

marinettedesigned

ok yeah that was kind of a lot lol

jagged tends to ask for things last minute and i meant to get started on this right away but i kept getting distracted aaaa!

notchatnoir

hey. it’s gonna be fine

you’ll finish on time and it will be incredible!!

and jagged stone’s new outfit will be more of a hit than the album!!!!!

and then you will take a very very long nap like you deserve

marinettedesigned

a nap sounds amazing rn lol

notchatnoir

i know. hang in there

marinettedesigned

😩✊ i will

notchatnoir

also i just want you to know that i see how much you do all the time for so many people and im always blown away by it

you remind me of ladybug because youre like a superhero without even needing a costume

like ladybug without the spots

you’re amazing, marinette

im really proud of you

marinettedesigned

omg chat 😭😭😭😭😭

notchatnoir

but even super-marinettes have limits ok

so take more breaks if you need to. you have time

and you got this 💪

marinettedesigned

🥺🥺🥺🥺

notchatnoir

ok i paw-mise i wont bother u again tn i’ll just let you concentrate

good luck!!

marinettedesigned

thanks kitty

💜💜💜

---

 

05:08

marinettedesigned

DNOE

ODNE

DOEN

DANGIT

u know what imean

IMG_1847.jpg

notchatnoir

AAAAA IT’S PERFECT!!!!

jagged is gonna be STOKED to put this on

you killed it

marinettedesigned

waht r u doing up rn

i mean i was hopign for instant valdifaifon but i didnt think i would get it lmoa

oml im so tired i cant yype

notchatnoir

early cat gets the bird

marinettedesigned

what

notchatnoir

like...early bird gets the worm

except im a cat

and cats hunt birds

marinettedesigned

but ur not a cat??

notchatnoir

yeah i am?

im chat noir?

marinettedesigned

chatnori isnt a cat hes a kittykiitty ahahaha

notchatnoir

lol ok

marinettedesigned

i know ur not eating a birid rn what are u actually doiinig

notchatnoir

ok i’ll tell you. but you have to promise not to tell anyone else. it’s top secret

marinettedesigned

ok

im shhhh

notchatnoir

im not just a superhero. im also a supermodel

so i had to get up early for a photoshoot

my stylist is about to come in and do my makeup

as if i needed any help being beautiful 🙄

marinettedesigned

sljfKLDKJ THATS SO FUNNY UR SMO STUPID

SPUPERMODLE HAHAHAAZH

notchatnoir

yes that’s me, chatnori the kittykiitty spupermodle

marinettedesigned

IM GONAN FCRY OMGG

notchatnoir

marinette you’re exhausted you should really get some sleep now

marinettedesigned

nnoooo i cant sleep bc ahve 2 delvier thjs by um

crap wehn is it

notchatnoir

13h

marinettedesigned

yehA ugh

if i go to selep i wont wake up and ill miss it

jarfged will hate me forever

notchatnoir

just go to sleep

i’ll call you when it’s time

and if you don't answer i’ll come knock on your window until you get up

marinettedesigned

youd do that for me?

notchatnoir

well yeah

i want jagged stone to look good

marinettedesigned

hahahahaha

notchatnoir

but i mean, ofc i would do it

you’re my friend

marinettedesigned

🆘

wait it hit t he wrong one

🥺

there

notchatnoir

how did you mix those up they’re nowhere near each other

marinettedesigned

in my frequents

ii send it to alya a lot lol

hey u know waht

notchatnoir

what

marinettedesigned

u were right b efore

notchatnoir

about what

marinettedesigned

im supermarniette

notchatnoir

heck yeah u are

marinettedesigned

no im a superhero

like u

notchatnoir

yeah i know, you were multimouse

i was there, remember?

you were awesome

marinettedesigned

im ladyhug

notchatnoir

what?

marinettedesigned

and ur like my

Lckuy charm

wiat noI’m not ladybuglolol

i mean like if

If iwere

u would b my lucky charm

bc u

always help me

notchatnoir

marinette that’s so cheesy. and you’re talking to chat noir

besides you’re only saying it because you’re delirious with sleep deprivation

marinettedesigned

yeah probably

but also no, really i mean it

i got rly lucky in the bestfriend department

fr

notchatnoir

yeah i know, alya is the best

marinettedesigned

aslkdfasljkf yea she is

and so are you

i love you chat noir

omg wait whoA i mean as afriend hahaha

notchatnoir

yeah

i know.

I love you too, Marinette

now get some sleep ok?

marinettedesigned

ok

goodnight kittykitty

or i mean its morniing hello

whatever

notchatnoir

haha

sweet dreams, princess

 

---

 

12:22

notchatnoir

are you awake? it’s time to go

marinette?

notchatnoir started a call that lasted a few seconds.

notchatnoir started a call that lasted a few seconds.

 

---

 

13:17

marinettedesigned

WHEW i made it just in time

walking home from the hotel now

thank you so much for coming to wake me up 😭😭

notchatnoir

no paw-blem

just doing my duty as ur friendly neighborhood chat noir

marinettedesigned

ALSO im sorry i was so weird earlier im so embarrassed 😭😭

i dont totally remember all of it and im lowkey scared to backread asljfdadljkfs but i know i was acting like a lunatic so please ignore everything i said oml

notchatnoir

haha no worries

you were exhausted. and no wonder

so what did jagged think?

he loved it didnt he

marinettedesigned

yeah! thank goodness

i brought my sewing kit in case he wanted minor alterations but i think i wouldve cried if he asked lol

i know i just slept for like 7 hours but i feel like i could sleep for 7 more

notchatnoir

you should

go home and go back to sleep right now

marinettedesigned

nah then i’ll just screw up my sleeping schedule even more

like im tired but im awake enough

notchatnoir

so are you going to the concert? did jagged give you tickets?

marinettedesigned

yeah he did. me and a plus one

and normally i’d be all over that

but im just too tired and just the idea of being around crowds and loud music and flashing lights rn is about to give me a headache lol

notchatnoir

yeah that’s understandable

marinettedesigned

shame to let them go to waste tho

i was going to ask adrien to come with me

notchatnoir

you were?

marinettedesigned

yeah um like as a friend!

since i know he likes jagged stone too

notchatnoir

right

why didn’t you?

marinettedesigned

i heard him say he had a photoshoot today

notchatnoir

yeah but that was in the morning

or i mean it could’ve been in the morning

did he say the photoshoot was actually during the concert?

marinettedesigned

well no

but i doubt his dad would let him go anyway

notchatnoir

yeah, that’s true

marinettedesigned

i still should’ve asked though

even if he can’t come to things i still want to invite him

in case he can come but also so he knows i was thinking of him

or i mean like that all of us are

notchatnoir

i bet that means a lot to him

marinettedesigned

maybe i can give the ticket to him and he can still go with nino or someone?

he’d probably have more fun with nino than me anyway haha

notchatnoir

i don’t think that’s true

marinettedesigned

nino’s his best friend and im always so awkward and embarrassing 😩

notchatnoir

no way

you’re so much fun to be around

you’re a really good friend marinette

marinettedesigned

i hope so

i wish i could be a better one

for him and for you

im sorry you couldn’t come over this week :(

notchatnoir

dw about it

you had a lot going on

i may be a needy kitty but i can give you space when you need it haha

marinettedesigned

well can i make it up to you? are you free tonight?

notchatnoir

it’s ok. you need to rest

marinettedesigned

im fine, i want to hang out with you!

i missed you this week

unless you already have plans?

notchatnoir

um not really

i was thinking about going to the concert but i can skip that

marinettedesigned

what? no you dont have to do that! dont waste your tickets for me omg

notchatnoir

no no, i don’t have tickets

i just sometimes listen to outdoor concerts from above

you can get a pretty good view from the surrounding rooftops

and you’re far enough away that it’s not like blasting your eardrums haha

marinettedesigned

oh that sounds really cool

notchatnoir

yeah it is

ladybug and i did it once a while ago

she likes jagged stone too

marinettedesigned

oh yeah?

notchatnoir

yeah

i thought about asking her to come this time but she mentioned she was gonna have a busy weekend

idk maybe she already has tickets haha

marinettedesigned

yeah maybe

notchatnoir

but honestly there was another reason i didn’t ask her

marinettedesigned

what was that

notchatnoir

i was. um

nevermind

marinettedesigned

what??

dude you cant keep doing that thing where you act like you’re gonna say soemthing and then you back out and change the subject lol it’s lame

notchatnoir

ok fine

i didn’t ask her because i was hoping you would want to come with me

but ofc i knew you had all this work to do

and i figured you probably had your own ticket so you wouldnt need to listen from a stupid rooftop

and it doesn’t matter anyway because you’re really tired

marinettedesigned

chat

notchatnoir

and you should just chill and get to bed early so you can feel better ok?

marinettedesigned

i’d love to go with you

notchatnoir

you would?

marinettedesigned

that actually sounds perfect

like a very fun and chill way to spend the evening after i’ve been so stressed lol

notchatnoir

are you sure you won’t be too tired?

marinettedesigned

yeah im fine

besides you have a very comfy shoulder so if im really sleep i can just fall asleep on you right :)

notchatnoir

haha sure

so...it’s a date then!

i mean not a date!!

like. a plan

marinettedesigned

yes a very good plan hahaha

ok i’ll just give my tickets to adrien and he can take whoever

notchatnoir

maybe just give them to alya? sounds like adrien won’t be able to go anyway

but alya and nino can go together

marinettedesigned

ok that’s a good plan

neither of them are like super huge jagged fans but they are kind of concert junkies and they know his most popular songs so they’ll have a good time lol

notchatnoir

sounds good

marinettedesigned

i feel bad for adrien though :(

i hate that he’s always left out

notchatnoir

adrien will be fine

im sure he’ll have fun whatever he’s doing tonight

marinettedesigned

i hope so

notchatnoir

ok why dont you rest for a while

and eat a proper meal

and whatever else you need to do

i’ll come get you at 17h

marinettedesigned

k

see you then!

 

---

 

21:12

marinettedesigned

heyyy come back

im serious i said not to leave yet!! why did you go

notchatnoir

you should probably go to bed now

it’s been a long day for you

marinettedesigned

but it’s not even late :(

we have to make up for all the time we didn’t hang out earlier :((

notchatnoir

we hung out for like 4 hours

marinettedesigned

that’s not that long

notchatnoir

we’ll hang out next week, ok?

good night princess

marinettedesigned

noooo if youre not gonna come back you could at least call me

and talk to me till i fall asleep

notchatnoir

talking will just keep you from falling asleep

marinettedesigned

no it wont i promise i’ll sleep if you call me

just tell me your best jokes and they’ll bore me to sleep

notchatnoir

excuse me, my jokes are hilarious

marinettedesigned

prove it then

im calling you rn and if you don’t pick up i’ll cry

 

marinettedesigned started a call that lasted 2 hours and 4 minutes.

 

---

 

23:38

marinettedesigned

hey chat

notchatnoir

go to sleep

marinettedesigned

no i just wanted to ask you something real quick

notchatnoir

what

marinettedesigned

do you think someday i’ll know who you are?

notchatnoir

i don’t really know

but i hope so

marinettedesigned

yeah

me too

notchatnoir

good night marinette

marinettedesigned

night kitty

ily

Notes:

i cant believe i just hit 100k i've literally never written anything this long in my life aljsfkd thank you guys so much for your patience!! we're finally there....see you soon! ✌️

Chapter 28: waves

Summary:

A wave of desperate melancholy washed over him, and beside him, Ladybug shivered.

He was supposed to kiss Marinette today.

Notes:

thought i'd do something crazy and post during daylight hours instead of at 3 AM 🤪

HUGE shoutout to my sisters morgan and anna and abby for beta-ing this chapter and also listening to me whine and complain for weeks about how hard it was to write!! lskjdfjksa i owe u my life

P.S. this chapter is long it's like 11k oops my bad,, but i hope you like it??? aaaaaa i really hope so!!!!

ETA: GORGEOUS Anna-scribbles art at the end!!!

He was going to kiss Marinette today.

That was the one thought that pushed him through every small annoyance of the day. The wake-up call that came only a few hours after he’d finally gone to bed. Nathalie’s disapproving frown at the bags under his eyes. His photographer’s increasing melodrama at his tired poses.

None of it mattered. Because in just a few hours, he would kiss Marinette, and he’d finally feel what he’d been missing for so long.

“Bah!” His photographer put down his camera. “Wake up, sleepyhead! Where is your spark? Where is your passion?”

Adrien yawned widely, leaning on one hand on the edge of the fountain.

“And who are you?” he heard the photographer say. “Can’t you see that we are busy?”

“I’ll take over from here, thank you,” said a smooth voice.

And then his photographer disappeared in burst of colorful squares.

Adrien’s eyes widened. “Pixelator?”

“Oh, you remember me? I’m flattered.” Pixelator flashed a grin. “I must say I’m a fan of yours as well. May I take a photo?”

“Um … no, thanks.”

Adrien had just a split second to find cover. He dove behind the fountain, which promptly exploded into pixels.

What? Pixelator can’t digitize objects. Only people … right?

Pixelator rounded on him, lifting a hand to his eyepiece. “Say cheese, Mr. Agreste.”

Think! Think! He looked around desperately. What would Ladybug do?

“One, two—”

“—three!”

A red blur shot out of nowhere. A string wrapped around Adrien’s chest, and he was yanked backward. He landed against something solid and warm, and an arm curled around him defensively.

“I don’t like your new photographer,” Ladybug said. “What do you say we skip out on this photoshoot?”

“Sounds good. Thank you.”

He offered her a grateful smile, and when she smiled back, his heart caught in his throat. Her face was so close to his. Close enough for him to see the starlike freckles peeking out from under her mask.

He swallowed.

“Now this is perfect!” Pixelator clapped his hands with glee. “Two of Paris’s heartthrobs, come together for the photo op of a lifetime.”

Ladybug’s grip around his waist tightened. “Sorry, we’ll have to pass.” She flung out her yo-yo, and then they were flying.

Adrien winced as one of Pixelator’s shots narrowly missed them. What if Marinette had already been captured? He imagined her trapped in that endless white void, legs tucked close to her chest, staring blankly at the nothingness around her, and his heart sank. He squeezed his eyes shut and filled his mind with her, as if he could reach her just by wanting it.

Stay safe, he thought. I love you, princess.

Ladybug’s grip on the yo-yo slackened, and they crashed onto the carousel. “What did you—”

“Smile!”

His eyes snapped open. He saw blinding flash of light. Then he felt himself shatter.

 

---

 

Their prison was just how he remembered it: the infinite white, too bright against his eyes. The window into Vincent’s bedroom, suspended before them like a giant movie screen. And the uneasy sense of being trapped in something as boundless as nothing, like he was floating and anchored at the same time.

Ladybug gasped softly in his ear. “No. No, no, no!” The warm pressure of her arm disappeared from his waist.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not sure what else to say.

“I—” She turned and froze.

Adrien spun around. Somehow the blast had brought the entire carousel along with them.

Ladybug frowned. “He didn’t even hit us. But I guess since we were touching the carousel, we got brought along with it.”

“Looks like his powers have grown since last time,” he said.

She sighed. “Right. Which means he’ll be even harder to beat. And we can’t count on winning the way we did before, by reflecting his own blast back at him. It would just digitize the mirror.”

“But you’ll think of something.” He smiled. “You always beat the bad guy.”

“Not without Chat Noir, I don’t.” Her shoulders slumped. “Hope he’s having better luck than we are.”

“Y-yeah. Hopefully.”

She flipped her yo-yo open and brought it to her ear. Adrien fidgeted in his sneakers, which squeaked against the not-floor.

“Cat got your tongue? Leave a message!” he heard his own voice say, muffled through the speaker.

Ladybug lowered the yo-yo. “He must have his hands full fighting Pixelator on his own. If he’d been captured he would’ve used his cataclysm to bust us all out already.”

“R-right.” Adrien swallowed. “Unless … he got stuck as a civilian?”

She searched his face. He knew that look. The Lucky Charm Solution look. The Seeing What’s Hidden look. The Figuring Things Out look.

He lowered his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck and trying his best to look as un-Chat Noir–like as possible.

(He could feel her eyes still fixed on him, and he couldn’t help but remember the times when Marinette looked at him just like this. Like she knew much more than the somethings that he told her. Like she could see right through his mask to the boy underneath. Like his secrets had slipped free from their cages, his name hidden carefully under her tongue.)

(A strange feeling bloomed in the pit of his stomach. Something heavy as lead and light as air. Something that burned and soothed and mounted. Something almost like fear. Something almost like hope.)

“Let’s just … hope he was able to transform,” Ladybug said finally.

“Right.” He nodded quickly. “Of course.”

Okay, time for plan B. Wait, I don’t have a plan B. Ladybug is in charge of plan B. And plan A. And all the plans.

Ladybug scrunched her nose in thought, making her star-freckles shift. “If Chat Noir can release Pixelator’s akuma, he can hold it for me while I reset everything with my miraculous ladybugs. That will set us free, and then I’ll be able to nab the akuma.”

“But you’ll need your lucky charm to do that,” Adrien said.

“Right.” She detached her yo-yo and tossed it in the air. “Lucky charm!”

An enormous spotted sheet fluttered down over her head.

“Wha—?” She scrabbled her way out from under it. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

(This was a rhetorical question, of course, because Adrien didn’t know. He never did.)

Her eyes darted around the vast white emptiness. She let out a groan.

“Should you … should you just throw it now, to set all of us free?” he asked.

She shook her head. “It’s too early. I don’t want to fix everything when Pixelator is still digitizing people. I have to wait till Chat Noir has released the akuma.”

Adrien swallowed. Inside his jacket pocket, Plagg squirmed.

There was nowhere for him to transform in here. No place to run away and hide. Ladybug was one thing, but there was also the window to Vincent’s room. What if someone came in and saw the photos on the wall? He couldn’t risk it.

He clenched his fist, feeling the metal of his ring against his skin. “At least you have your lucky charm,” he said, trying to sound hopeful.

“I guess.” She examined the spotted sheet, running a length of it through her hands. Then she looked around again—at the floor, at Adrien, at the carousel, at the window, at Adrien, at the empty nothing-sky. At Adrien.

Her gaze lingered on him now, and he could feel its weight, pulling him in so he couldn’t look away. His skin prickled and his blood burned, heart breaking and mending with every beat, and he wondered if she could tell—if she could see the love he still had for her leaking out from beneath all his careful layers.

During all this time, all these years, did she ever know? Did she ever know that he loved her? Not Chat Noir—but Adrien? Did she see it when she waved and he forgot not to stare? Did she feel it when she rescued him and he held onto her a little too tightly? Could she sense how he carried her star-freckled smile like a secret underneath his ribs?

In all his photos, his ads, his TV exclusives, did she always see Adrien Agreste, the teen supermodel? Or could she ever see just Adrien, the boy who loved her?

She stared at him, and he almost felt like crying.

He was supposed to kiss Marinette today.

Ladybug’s lips parted, like she was going to say something, and he thought maybe she’d figured out a way to save them, like she always did. But then her mouth shut and her head bowed and her eyes sank to the floor.

“It’s no use,” she said quietly, the sheet drooping from her hands. “I have no idea what to do with this. We’re stuck.”

Adrien’s heart sank.

Ladybug walked slowly to the carousel. The red sheet dragged out behind her like a dead thing bleeding dry. She slid into the ladybug car, looking strangely small within its shell. Ladybug inside a ladybug.

He hesitated at the edge of the carousel. He’d seen her like this before. And he knew how to make her better. He knew how to remind her of everything she was. How to be a good partner. How to be a good friend.

But now, with his hands hanging empty and his heart standing still, he wasn’t sure he had the strength to make her strong again. When he looked at her, all he could see was Marinette, curled up just like that in some other lonely corner of this unending prison. Maybe if he walked far enough he could find her. Maybe if he listened hard enough he could hear her.

Ladybug’s shaking breaths were the only sound in the vast white silence. The sheet spilled out from the ladybug car, streaming over the edge of the carousel and across the floor to pool up, bright red, at Adrien’s feet. Or maybe it was flowing the other direction, beckoning him to surrender to the current that pulled at his chest, to where he was supposed to be at a time like this—at Ladybug’s side, no matter the odds.

He stepped onto the carousel. “Um, can I sit here?”

She nodded, scooting over to make room. He thought her eyes looked a little wet, but she turned her face away before he could get a good look.

He wedged himself in beside her, his knees bent awkwardly to fit.

“Well,” he said, “in a totally unforeseeable turn of events, it appears that this thing was built for small children and not full-grown teenagers.”

Ladybug offered a feeble laugh and then sniffed, twisting the lucky charm in her hands.

“Hey.” He put a hand on her arm, and worry rippled through him. “Are you okay?”

She looked up, eyes brimming with tears, and smiled weakly.

“I’m fine. But I’ll be really annoyed if the villain that finally beats us is Pixelator. I was hoping for a more epic takedown, you know?” Her smile faltered, eyes falling back to the sheet. “Hawkmoth must be gloating right now. He’s got me right where he wants me. And if Pixelator catches Chat Noir too, then it’s all over. He’ll have both of our miraculous.”

She’d said “bolth,” the way Marinette always did, and that small fact made him ache as much as her words did.

“Well, it’s not over yet,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’ll win, like you always do.”

Her eyes searched his. “You have a lot of confidence in me.” Her voice was soft. Fragile.

“Yeah, I do,” he said firmly. “You can do this. I know you can.”

“I hope you’re right. ’Cause today was supposed to be—I was going to—” She sighed. “Let’s just say that I had some important plans.”

“Me too,” he admitted.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“I, uh … I was supposed to meet up with someone.”

She turned her head to look at him. “The girl you told me about before? At the party?”

“Yeah. We have a date.” He swallowed. “A pretty special one.”

A wave of desperate melancholy washed over him, and beside him, Ladybug shivered.

He was supposed to kiss Marinette today.

And if they ever got out of here, that would be the first thing he did. He would find Marinette and hold her and tell her he loved her. Then he’d kiss her, long and deep, the way he’d imagined for all this time. He’d feel her sun-golden and rosy-pink inside him until she was the only thing he could feel.

(But what if it was already gone?)

“I’m sorry,” Ladybug said.

He forced a shrug. “Not your fault.”

“Yeah, it is. And it’ll be my fault if we never get out of here.”

“Don’t—don’t say that. It’s all gonna be fine.”

She buried her face in her hands. “Ugh. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dump anything on you. It’s just … some days, I don’t really feel like being a superhero.”

“Yeah. I get it. Or—I mean—that makes sense,” he said. “I think I’d feel like that sometimes too, if I were you. But … none of this is your fault. And it’s not over, okay?”

“Thanks.” She took a deep breath. “I thought of one way to use this. Can you help me?”

“Of course.” Adrien mustered a smile. “Just tell me what to do.”

She climbed out of the car, still holding the end of the sheet, and led him back into the white. Her earrings beeped.

“Just wait here.”

She jumped on top of the carousel and gathered the sheet in folds. Then she dragged it over the roof and hopped down on the other side.

“Can you help me pull it down?” She pointed up, to where the edges of the sheet hung over the sides of the roof. Together they tugged them all down until the carousel was completely covered, looking like a strange, spotted circus tent.

Her earrings beeped again.

“Come on.” She lifted one edge and crawled under, and Adrien followed.

The carousel felt safer now, somehow, hidden away from the endless white. The light filtering through was soft and warm, the sheet casting a reddish hue over everything beneath it. It reminded him of one of Marinette’s blanket forts, constructed with care on her bedroom floor, where she would beckon him in and they’d talk in hushed voices, like the walls could absorb all their secrets and keep them safe from everyone else.

“It’s … um … it’s not really much use, but it’s the only thing I could think to do with it.” Ladybug pulled at her yo-yo—her nervous habit. “At least—at least when I destransform, Pixelator won’t be able to see me. I mean, like, if he comes in to look at the photos.”

“O-oh! I’ll just … wait outside, then.” Adrien backed toward the sheet.

“No, it’s okay. I trust you.”

He hesitated at the edge. “I won’t look. I promise.”

“I know you won’t.”

Maybe he should insist on leaving her alone in here. If he ran far enough away, maybe he could transform. But then again, wouldn’t he have the same problem? No place to hide?

Ladybug sank down to the floor of the carousel, her arms wrapped around her knees. Adrien sat beside her.

“Listen, if this—if this is the end, then …” She let out a breath. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better Ladybug.”

Adrien stiffened. It wasn’t like her to talk this way—not for long, anyway. But he could almost feel the hopelessness rolling off her. Like she’d given up. Like this really was the end.

“You’re the best Ladybug,” he said. “And it’s not the end.”

“But what if it is?” she whispered.

“You’ve gotten out of much worse situations.”

“Not without Chat Noir.” She sighed, resting her chin on her arms. “I thought … I thought it would be different, you know? Win or lose, I thought we’d be together. At the end.”

Something cold and dark seeped slowly through his bloodstream, pooling up at the bottom of his gut, and he was hyper-aware of Plagg in his jacket pocket.

If this was going to be the end, either way, shouldn’t he just tell her? If this was going to be the end, did he even have a choice? Hawkmoth could win and take their miraculous, or they could fight one last time together before they had to give it up.

Maybe it would be better that way. He could be with Marinette, without any secrets, like he was trying to do before. But his chest ached when he remembered how hard Ladybug had fought to keep him. To keep them.

“I wish he were here,” she said softly. “I’d give anything for him to be here right now.”

He tried to say it, tried to will the words out of his mouth, but they caught in his throat.

I’m here, he thought instead. I’m right here.

Slowly, she lifted her head and turned to face him. There was a tug in his chest (a half-remembered truth, a familiar taste on the tip of his tongue, a beautiful song he’d heard once a lifetime ago).

Her earrings beeped again. Two minutes.

“I should go,” he said, getting to his feet. He couldn’t let it end like this, not when he could still do something. While she was recharging he’d have to risk transforming outside. He could deal with any questions later, but right now he had to—

“No!” She caught his hand, and desperation flooded through him.

He looked back. Her eyes were wide and earnest.

“Please stay,” she whispered.

He crumbled, like he always did, and stayed.

She pulled him back down, and they sat side by side on the floor of the carousel. The air felt closer and warmer under the rosy glow of the sheet, and he could’ve sworn he caught a whiff of hibiscus. With his hand still clasping Ladybug’s, he thought of Marinette and ached.

Ladybug shut her eyes, rocking gently back and forth, like she was trying to lull herself to sleep. For some reason, it made him think of rain—calm and steady and rhythmic. He could feel it deep within him, cooling his fire, soothing his aches, washing away the fog in his mind. The drops collected like music notes, clear and sweet, and he could almost hear it, the rain singing like a melody, like—

Wait.

“How do you know that song?” he asked sharply.

She froze. “What song?”

“The one you were humming.”

“I … I wasn’t humming.”

“But …”

But he’d heard it. Felt it. Marinette’s song. Princess.

Her lips parted. “What did you just call me?”

“I—nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

She stared at him, breathless and still, and he stared back.

Every bit of him was trembling with a feeling he couldn’t name. It was the line of gold on the horizon right before the sun broke through. The light through the crack of an unlocked door. The aching swell of breath before a song.

Slowly, purposefully, she squeezed his hand. Once, twice. Three times. Four.

He knew what came next. How to finish the pattern. She watched him, waiting, and he knew she could see him, the way he could see her. He saw her like the clouds were gone and the lights were off and he was seeing the night sky that had once been hidden. She was a convocation of stars, a billion brightly burning suns, a reflection of infinity. And when she looked at him, so was he.

He squeezed his answer around her hand.

Her stillness broke like glass, and before he had the chance to speak, her lips had collided with his.

Marinette.

Her name was a feeling that swelled in his chest, her touch like a memory made real. She held his face in both her hands and drank him in with her coconut lips, and he could taste her everywhere—sun-golden, rosy-pink. Warmth stirred in the pit of his stomach, somehow both full and wanting, and as he chased her lips he felt his heart unfurl like a flower in his chest.

Adrien had imagined this moment every day for months. He thought it would be like the click—an electric shock that jolted him awake and made him remember what he’d sworn to never forget.

But it was so much quieter than that. No fireworks or fanfare. It was just comfortable. Almost normal. And so completely, overwhelmingly right. It was a happy meeting of very old friends. A culmination of quiet, perfect moments—the light slanting through his windows at his favorite time of day, Marinette’s hum above the click of her sewing machine, the warmth of Ladybug’s shoulder pressed against his while they sat in silence and watched the city fall asleep. It was like sinking into bed after a very long day, bones settling into their most natural, restful position. It was the touch of her rain whispering against his skin, the smell of home when he slipped through her window, the curve of the smile she’d saved just for him.

There was no hole to be filled, he realized. There was no space in between. She’d been right here, the whole time.

She angled her head, lips slanting over his, and they shivered together while the quiet, perfect everything swept through them. It was release, relief. It was rest. It was rain. It was right.

And it came in waves, and waves, and waves.

Her earrings gave a final beep, and pink light shimmered through his eyelids. He pulled back to look at her.

“Marinette,” he breathed.

Her bare fingers pressed against his cheeks, and he didn’t realize he was crying until she smoothed away his tears.

She smiled her star-freckled, Saturday-morning smile, and her cheeks were wet too.

“Adrien,” she said, and his heart skipped a beat.

It’s you, he wanted to say, and maybe, It’s still alive, but the words got tangled on the way out, and what he said was, “It’s still you.”

She blinked, and he felt the faint flicker of her surprise.

“Wait,” he said, “I meant—”

“Yeah. It’s still me.” Her face softened, eyes clear and searching. “And it’s still you.”

He breathed in, filling his lungs with the scent of her—hibiscus and rain and stars and suns and rosy morning gold.

“Still me,” he murmured. He turned his head to kiss her palm, still pressed against his cheek. “I love you, Marinette. Ladybug.”

Her hands slid down his face to cradle the back of his neck. “I love you, Adrien. Chat Noir.”

His eyes slipped closed, and he leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers, letting her words sink into his skin.

“You’ve never said that before,” he whispered. “With my name.”

A warm pressure on his lips. A gentle rush of Marinette-gold all the way down to his toes.

“Adrien,” she said, “I love you. I love you so much. Adrien.”

She cupped his face and skimmed her thumbs across his cheeks. Under his eyes. Over his browline. Down his nose. Everywhere his mask had always been.

He let out a shuddering breath. It was different, this time. Without the gloves. With her bare skin brushing his. Whispers he knew like the beat of his heart. An instinct as old as hunger.

Now that he knew, again, what it was like for her to touch him, he never wanted her to stop.

She trailed down to his lips, tracing them with her fingertips. Then she lifted his hand and kissed it. She kissed him where he kissed her on the night of the click—fingertips, palm, wrist, lips. But she didn’t stop there. She kissed the bridge of his nose, his eyelid, his temple, the edge of his jaw (which made him shudder, and he could feel just how smug she felt about that).

Heart pounding, he pulled her in and kissed the corner of her mouth, the space behind her earlobe, the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder. She released a shaking breath, gripping his shoulders, and the warm air made goosebumps spring up on his skin. He brushed his lips over her jawline to her chin. Then he trailed kisses, feather light, down the center of her neck, all the way down to the hollow of her throat.

He pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were soft and her cheeks were flushed and he never thought she’d looked more beautiful. For a moment, they just stared at each other, breaths slow and heavy on each other’s skin.

“Told you I’d kiss you today,” he said finally.

She wet her lips. “I think I’m actually the one who kissed you first.”

“I still kissed you. That’s just a technicality.”

She took his face in her hands again, his cheeks burning against her palms. Her lips parted and he could tell that she wanted to say something but didn’t know how. But it didn’t matter. He could feel it all, under his skin, through his veins, deep in his bones.

“Adrien, I—” She swallowed. “I …”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know.”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. And just like he did the night he cried himself to sleep in her arms, he could feel her strength and love seeping through him—bright and warm and safe and Marinette.

“I waited so long to feel you again,” he whispered into her hair. “But I didn’t even have to wait. You were there. You were there all along.”

“I know.”

“I don’t understand. How is it still here? How did it not die?”

“Because I wouldn’t let it.” She laughed softly, pulling back to look at him. “Remember? I told you I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

She lifted a hand and rubbed her thumb over his cheek. “We didn’t let it. We chose not to let it.”

“So … we just pined so hard that the universe eventually gave up and let us have this?”

She laughed again. “Maybe. Something like that.”

“That’s pretty iconic of us,” he said, grinning. “Don’t you think?”

“Mmmhmm,” she murmured. “Very iconic soulmate behavior.”

“We must be really stubborn. Not just to keep it alive, but to make it actually grow, so much that … hang on.” He pulled away, breaking the skin contact, and closed his eyes.

The space between them tingled, like static electricity. He wanted to close the gap again, wanted to press every inch of his skin to hers, but he forced himself to stay still.

He didn’t have to search for her. She was still there, deep inside him, a muted star blazing softly at his core.

“I can still feel you,” he said. “Can you still feel me?”

“Yes.” She shifted beside him. “But I can feel you much better like this.”

She threw her arms around his neck and brought her lips rushing back to his, and the Marinette-star inside him grew brighter, till he felt like he was glowing from the inside out. His hands found her waist and he pulled her closer, concentrating all his energy on feeling her. He kissed her and kissed her like he’d dreamed of for months. She pressed her hips firmly against his, and Adrien shivered at the feeling of her warm breath against his mouth, of her tongue brushing his bottom lip—

“Are you guys done yet?”

Adrien felt Marinette’s jolt of surprise at the same time he experienced it himself. He jerked back, face burning, and turned to meet Plagg’s cool green stare.

“Yeah,” Plagg said. “We’ve been here the whole time.”

“Plagg!” said a tiny, high-pitched voice. A blur of red shot into view. “Don’t ruin their moment. They’ve waited for this for a really long time.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’ve watched this kid pine over Pigtails for years. Ladybug. Marinette. Ladybug and Marinette. Ugh. He’s so … mushy. But not in, like, a good, camembert-type way. In a gross, sappy kind of way.” Plagg made a face.

Adrien glanced at Marinette. She was doing her best to hold back a laugh, but he could feel it glimmer inside his chest, and he couldn’t help but smile too.

“I’m sorry, Tikki. You must be starving.” She fished a macaron from her bag and held it up.

“That’s okay.” Tikki grabbed it and took a bite. “Admit it, Plagg,” she said through a mouthful of cookie. “You’re happy for them.”

“Duh. I mean, I may not be the best at the whole caring-about-people thing, and I definitely don’t get the smooshing-your-cheese-holes-together thing, but I’m not totally heartless.” Plagg’s tail swished behind him. “Congrats, lovebirds. You finally figured it out. But come on … it’s been, like, ten thousand hours, and do I really need to remind you that Hawkmoth has captured both Ladybug and Chat Noir, and if you don’t do something quick, he’s going to figure it out?”

“He’s right. We have to get out of here.” Adrien got to his feet, pulling Marinette up by the hand. “Plagg, claws out.”

When the zap of green had cleared, Marinette was staring at him with an expression he couldn’t quite name. But he could feel it flowing from her—something almost like awe. Then her face crumpled, and a quiver ran through him.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “We should—”

She jumped at him, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist as her lips claimed his again. He stumbled backward and braced himself against a carousel pole while his arms came up automatically to support her legs.

“Marinette,” he said, “we really have to go.”

“But I didn’t even get to kiss you.” She peppered kisses along the edge of his mask, his hairline, his jaw.

He closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice steady. “Yes, you did. We were kissing for, like … I don’t know. A while.”

“No, that was Adrien,” she mumbled. “I’m kissing Chat Noir now.” Her breath tickled his ear, and when she reached the corner of his jaw, she nipped his earlobe with her lips. A small sound escaped him, and he clutched her tighter.

“But I am Adrien,” he said.

She pulled back and searched his eyes. Smoothed his hair across his forehead. Cradled his face in both hands.

“I know,” she whispered. “I know you are. Adrien.”

And then her lips were back on his.

“Marinette,” he tried again, but she just kissed him harder, humming in the back of her throat. Her hands found his hair and her tongue found his teeth and even with the magic of the suit he thought his knees might give out beneath him.

She tugged at his hair, sucking in his air, and he tried one more time to resist. But she was Marinette, and she disarmed him, and he was hers, now and always. He surrendered to her, losing himself in the movement of her lips and the warm, hungry sensation stirring deep within him, hers and his and theirs mingling in the pit of his stomach.

“Um,” said Tikki’s tiny voice. “I’m sorry to interrupt again, but … what about the akuma?”

Marinette groaned against his lips. “Fine.”

She loosened her hold on him, unwrapping her legs from around his waist, and he set her gently on the floor. She looked up at him, and a smile tugged at her lips.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s just … you kind of look like a wreck right now. With your cheeks all red and your hair messed up.”

“Well, whose fault is that?”

“Mine.” She grinned, looking strangely proud. “But I like it. You look cute like this.”

“I look cute all the time,” he huffed.

“Yeah, you do. Catastrophically sexy, even.”

She grinned again, and before he could say anything else, she called on her transformation.

Knowing Marinette was Ladybug was one thing. Watching her transform before his eyes was another. She was Marinette, and then she wasn’t.

But she still was.

The shape of her eyes, the curve of her face, the fall of her hair. She was Marinette with the freckled smile, Marinette with the magic laugh, Marinette with the genius plans and the gentle hands and the steady heart. Marinette the kindest and strongest and bravest and smartest person he’d ever known. She was Marinette, and he knew her. He could feel her just the same, blooming inside his ribcage. She was Marinette, and he had loved her all this time, from the very beginning, even when he didn’t know her name.

She stepped closer and took his hands, tilting her head back to look up at him. “One more, for luck?”

He leaned down and kissed her, quick and sweet.

She was Ladybug, and she was Marinette, and together, they could do anything.

She pulled back. “We don’t want to keep poor Pixelator waiting any longer. Think you can manage to bust us out of here?”

He grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”

He crouched at the edge of the carousel and pushed back the sheet to expose the floor of their prison.

“Cataclysm!”

His fist came down, and the world cracked like stone as he splintered apart again.

 

---

 

Adrien blinked. They were still on the carousel, under the spotted sheet. But the light looked different—more golden, like sunlight.

“Did it work?” he asked.

Marinette crouched down and lifted the sheet to look outside.

“Yep. We’re in Place de Vosges again. Everything’s back in place.”

“And Pixelator?”

“Not yet.” She ducked under the sheet. “Stay here.”

“Ladybug!” he heard someone call. Other voices broke out, muffled through the sheet.

“Everyone, please exit the square immediately,” Marinette said, calm and confident. “Pixelator is still out there, so you need to hide until Chat Noir and I can fix this. Okay?”

There was a murmur of assent and the sound of footsteps. Then Marinette ducked back into the carousel.

“Shouldn’t we be leaving too?” Adrien grabbed his baton and gave it a spin. “Let’s go find him.”

“No.” She grabbed his elbow. “We don’t need to find him. He’ll come to us. He was probably looking for you, but when he sees that everyone was freed, I bet he’ll come right back here to try to zap me again.”

“Okay, so … what, we just wait around here till he comes back?”

Marinette glanced around, scrunching her nose in her signature Figuring Things Out look.

“Well, he’ll be expecting me, but he won’t necessarily be expecting you,” she said slowly. “I mean, he’ll probably know that you were captured, since you broke us all out, but he won’t know which person is you. Which means he won’t know where you’ll reappear. And we can use that to our advantage.”

“So … an ambush? Maybe a little cat-oflauge?” He grinned. “I’m very stealthy.”

“Well, let’s hope so. We’ll be counting on it.” She crouched again and tore off a strip of the sheet, tying it around her wrist. “Detransform and feed Plagg. You’ll probably need your cataclysm.”

He called off his transformation and offered Plagg a wedge of camembert.

“What’s with the wristband?” he asked.

Outside the carousel, a blast sounded. They both stiffened.

“Transform back and stay hidden,” she whispered quickly. “I’ll keep him distracted so you can destroy his camera.”

“But—”

She pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you,” she murmured. And then she was gone.

He watched her silhouette, just beyond his reach on the other side of the sheet.

“Plagg,” he breathed, “claws out.”

When the green light faded, another blast sounded from outside.

“Ah, Ladybug,” Pixelator said. “Here to retake your photo?”

“No, thanks.”

“Where’s your celebrity boy-toy? You two are so cute together.”

“I took Adrien somewhere safe.”

Pixelator paused. “So he’s not hidden underneath that hideous sheet?”

“O-of course not.”

Pixelator laughed. “And here I thought you were clever. Come now, Ladybug. Bring him out so I can get a proper photo. I liked the last one, but then your little pet deleted it.”

“No.” Marinette stood firm and set her yo-yo spinning.

“Unless …” Pixelator hummed in thought. “Unless your pet is the one you’re hiding under there. I know the cat’s been out to play. He set you free, didn’t he?”

“I don’t know where Chat Noir is,” Marinette said. “But he’ll probably be here soon. And then it’ll be all over for you.”

“I don’t believe you,” Pixelator said in a sing-song voice. “The cat’s waiting to pounce, isn’t he? Well, I won’t give him the chance.”

Adrien flinched as Pixelator shot a blast, but Marinette blocked it with her yo-yo.

“It’s not Chat Noir! It’s Adrien.” She raised her voice. “Adrien, tell him.”

Her voice sounded light, casual, but he could sense her tension underneath. He felt a spike of urgency—almost like a shove.

Move.

He scrambled backward, narrowly avoiding getting skewered by the unicorn.

“Um, Mr. Pixelator? Could you—could you wait to get a photo of us?” he called. “We can do it in a little while. After you’ve been de-akumatized. You can take as many of us as you want.”

“Huh,” Pixelator said. “I guess it really is the Golden Boy. Are you sure you won’t pose together?”

“We’d love to. If you give me your akuma,” Marinette said.

Get out.

He wasn’t exactly hearing her voice in his head, but the feeling was as clear as if he were. He reached the other side of the carousel and crept out from beneath the sheet.

I’m out, he tried to tell her. He hoped she got the message.

“But this camera is much better,” Pixelator said. “And the photo will last forever!”

He felt a prod from Marinette. He had to keep moving.

Adrien glanced around. There was a pile of large equipment cases nearby, left over from his photoshoot. He could use them for cover, but if he moved out from behind the carousel, Pixelator might see him.

“No, thanks,” Marinette said firmly.

Pixelator sniffed. “Individual portraits, then. Fine with me.”

A series of blasts, accompanied by the rhythmic twirl of the yo-yo. Adrien’s heart pounded. He needed to go help her—because what if she got blasted again, and this time he wouldn’t be there to break her out?

He wasn’t exactly sure how much of his predicament Marinette was picking up on, but from what he could sense from her, Pixelator seemed pretty distracted. Maybe he could risk moving out …

Go!

Adrien dove for the stack of cases just as the carousel erupted in a shower of red.

“Look into the lens, Ladybug!” Pixelator shouted.

Adrien peeked over the edge of a case. Marinette’s yo-yo flashed as she blocked the blasts. Slowly but surely, she was leading Pixelator in a circle.

He glanced over to where the carousel had stood just seconds ago and frowned. Without the lucky charm, Marinette wouldn’t be able to call her miraculous ladybugs to fix everything.

Now!

His eyes snapped back. Pixelator’s back was facing his hiding spot now.

“Cataclysm,” he whispered. Then he crept out from behind the cases and made his way silently across the grass.

Marinette dodged another blast, meeting his gaze for the briefest moment. He was surprised that she didn’t feel worried at all, even without her lucky charm.

Maybe losing the lucky charm wasn’t so bad. If they contained the damage to the square, there wouldn’t be a huge loss. Nothing irreplaceable. Just the carousel, some benches, a few trees—

—and Marinette.

The blast caught her a fraction of a second before his fingers made contact with Pixelator’s eyepiece. They crumbled together, red and black, and then they were both gone.

Desperation slammed into him with a force that nearly knocked the breath from his lungs.

“No!” Adrien gasped. He reached for the space where she had stood, fingers closing on empty air.

“Chat Noir?”

Vincent was on his knees, blinking up at him. His Pixelator suit was gone, replaced with a t-shirt that said “Aza Photography.”

“What happened?” he asked, getting to his feet. “Where’s Ladybug?”

“You digitized her!” Adrien gripped his shoulders. “Can’t you bring her back?”

“Uh … no.”

“Then digitize me too. So I can break her out again.”

“I don’t—I can’t—” Vincent’s eyes widened, focused on something behind Adrien. “Akuma!”

Adrien whirled around. The akuma, still unpurified, flapped above their heads. He had to capture it somehow, had to stop it from akumatizing someone else, but his hands were empty and his head was foggy and his chest felt tight and cold, like an icy hand was gripping his heart.

She was gone. She was gone and he had no way to save her.

He squeezed his eyes shut and listened for the whisper of her Marinette-star.

Marinette, he tried desperately. Marinette, are you there? Can you hear me? I can’t … can’t feel you.

He sank to his knees.

Can’t feel you.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. The akuma fluttered in the corner of his vision. He couldn’t let it get him. He wouldn’t let it.

Because he knew now that the stars still burned, even when he couldn’t see them. Even when they felt far away.

All this time, Marinette had been so much closer than he realized. And it would take much more than Hawkmoth’s magic to keep them apart this time.

If she was lost, then he would find her. They always found each other.

Adrien took a breath and stood. The akuma flapped in place, unable to come closer.

He looked around for something to trap it with, but before he could, a rush of warm wind skimmed past him. Pink swirled around the square, restoring the missing trees and benches, and a flash of red snatched up the akuma.

He spun on his heel. She was still holding her yo-yo open, while the akuma—now snow white—fluttered free.

“Chat,” she said, “are you o—”

He stopped her with a kiss. He couldn’t help it. She was here and she was safe and she was his, and kissing her was the only thing that made sense to do when all three of those things were true.

“I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered. “How did you come back?”

“I had that extra piece of my lucky charm, remember? In case he zapped the rest of it.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He chuckled weakly. “I forgot.”

She pulled back, bringing a hand to his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He smiled. “Now that you’re here.”

Her face relaxed and she let out a warm breath against his mouth as she pulled him in again. He kissed her back, holding her tight, and let her wash over him in waves, and waves, and waves.

Click.

Vincent lowered his camera with a sheepish grin. “Uh, sorry. It seemed like a nice shot.”

Pink spilled out from beneath Marinette’s mask. “R-right. Well. Good luck with your photography. And … please don’t get akumatized again. Like, I mean, if you—if you can help it, that is. ’Cause of course, um—”

“We should go,” Adrien cut in.

“Yeah. Let’s—let’s kiss. I mean! Let’s go.”

He tried to hide his grin as she turned and mumbled, “Come with me.” She threw out her yo-yo, and he followed behind.

They dropped into an alley a few blocks away, safely hidden from any prying eyes.

“Didn’t know you were so camera shy,” Adrien teased.

“Shut up. It’s—it’s awkward. We … we …”

“Kissed?”

She groaned, burying her face in her hands.

“It’s that embarrassing to kiss a catboy?”

She peeked at him through her fingers. “It’s embarrassing to kiss when there’s someone standing right there and they take a photo and now it’s probably all over the internet and Alya is probably gonna call me in the next two minutes to scream about how Ladynoir is official.”

Adrien leaned against the alley wall. “Is Ladynoir official?”

She lowered her hands. “You’re so stupid.”

“I mean, I definitely wouldn’t mind being able to smooch you on patrol. Maybe swap our fistbump for a kiss instead.” He grinned. “But if you’d rather Ladybug and Chat Noir just stay friends, I can do that too. I’m pretty good at the whole secret-dating thing by now.”

“If there even is a Ladybug and Chat Noir after this.” Marinette’s shoulders slumped. She bowed her head. “Spots off.”

He almost closed his eyes out of habit before he remembered. It was strange to not have to look away. To watch the magic wash over her and see again who she’d always been under the mask—Marinette, the girl he loved.

“Claws in,” he murmured.

Marinette grabbed his hand and squeezed as his transformation fell away, and he could taste her clementine sorrow aching at the edges of his lungs.

“We have to tell Master Fu,” she whispered.

Adrien looked down, reaching in his pocket for a piece of camembert. “I know.”

“And he might take our miraculous away.”

“I know.” Adrien sighed. “But does it … does it have to be now?”

Plagg took the cheese, glancing at Tikki.

Marinette bit her lip. “I mean, we’d just be delaying the inevitable. We have to tell him sooner or later.”

“But do you?” Plagg swallowed down his cheese. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

“Plagg!” Tikki scolded. “He’s the Guardian. We have to follow his rules.”

Plagg shrugged. “Rules, schmoolz. Lot of good those rules did them this whole time. I mean, my kid nearly got akumatized because he thought he was in love with two different people. He nearly gave up his miraculous over it!”

Tikki hesitated. “Well …”

“And come on! I know you could tell how much better they worked together once they both knew. They had those, like, soulmate mind waves going on or whatever.”

Marinette nodded slowly. “That’s definitely an advantage. If we couldn’t have sensed each other like that, I don’t know if we would’ve won this time.”

“And, I mean, it was kind of there the whole time, right?” Adrien said. “But now that we know about it, we can use it. And it’s stronger. We’re stronger.”

Tikki squirmed in the air. “You know I’m on your side about this. But no matter what, we have to tell the Guardian. We have to let him decide.”

Adrien felt his heart sink in unison with Marinette’s.

“But … I just found you,” he said softly.

She offered a small smile. “I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. I know. I guess I just … it all seemed so perfect for a minute, you know?” He tried his best to match her smile.

“Yeah, it was perfect. And you know what? It still is. It’s always been perfect, from the very beginning.” She took a breath. “Every single moment with you has been perfect, Adrien.”

He smiled weakly. “Even the time when I cried all night and got snot all over your hoodie?”

She laughed. “Yeah. Even then. I mean, different kind of perfect. But still … perfect. Like it always is. Perfect because it’s you. And you’re here. And we’re together. And that … I don’t know, makes a very imperfect circumstance seem to kind of … work out. Maybe not actually perfectly, but just … enough. And that makes it perfect to me.”

She filled him up, made him swell inside, and all he could do was kiss her again so she’d understand what he couldn’t say.

“I love you,” he breathed.

“I love you too,” she said. “And no matter what happens, I need you to know that I will never regret that. I don’t regret any of it.”

“Me neither.” He took both her hands and squeezed. “We’ll always be partners. No matter what. Right?”

“You and me against the world,” she whispered.

“You and me against the world.”

 

---

 

They stood, hand in hand, before the door.

“Ready?” Marinette said.

He squeezed her hand. “Ready.”

She lifted her fist and knocked.

The door creaked open. Master Fu met them with a calm stare.

Marinette took a breath. “Master—”

“Come in, please.” He opened the door wide, and they followed him into the room.

Fu beckoned them to sit, and Adrien sank onto the mat with Marinette, in the same spot he’d sat just days ago. The spot where he gave up his ring.

His stomach clenched, cold and sick at the memory. Marinette’s fingers tightened around his hand.

It would be different this time, right? Now that they were together? It wouldn’t hurt so much with her beside him.

“I saw the headlines,” Master Fu said lightly. “‘Ladynoir official.’”

Marinette cleared her throat. “Yes, about that, um—”

“So, you know.” Master Fu’s gaze was steady, his face expressionless. “You revealed your secret identities.”

She glanced at Adrien and swallowed. “Well … yes.”

His heartbeat quickened. “But not on purpose,” he added. “We—we didn’t mean to. We didn’t even touch. We just …”

“… felt it,” Marinette finished. “We just knew.”

That didn’t quite explain it, but Adrien didn’t have the words either. He forced himself to take a breath and slow his racing heart.

“I don’t think we could’ve stopped it,” he said. “I mean, we tried. We didn’t kiss. Didn’t even touch. For all these months. But it happened anyway. Because—”

“—because your bond is stronger than your secrets,” Master Fu said. “Stronger than any barrier that was placed between you.”

Adrien blinked. A tiny bubble of hope formed in his chest—his and Marinette’s, swelling slowly together.

“Master,” Marinette said, “does that mean … are you saying we can keep …?”

Master Fu’s face softened into a smile. “I’m not going to take away your miraculous, if that’s what you mean.”

It took a moment for the words sink into Adrien’s brain. Then disbelieving joy stole over him. He looked at Marinette, hardly daring to believe his ears, and she reflected his emotions like mirror, matching his smile.

“Really?” she asked eagerly.

“Really.” Master Fu chuckled. “Plagg, Tikki, Wayzz—please join us. We’ve never all been here together.”

The kwamis swirled out of their hiding places.

“Oh, thank you, Master!” Tikki said. “Marinette is the very best holder I’ve ever had, and I’m so happy I can stay with her!”

“Yeah, and my kid is rich, so he can get me the very best cheese there is.” Plagg paused. “Also, yeah. What Sugarcube said.”

Adrien grinned. “Plagg! You softie.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Plagg waved a dismissive paw, but he still flitted over to nuzzle Adrien’s cheek.

Marinette cupped Tikki in her free hand. “I’m really grateful, Master, but … what made you change your mind?”

Master Fu’s expression grew somber, brows settling heavily over his eyes. “Believe me, it was never easy to ask so much of you. But I truly believed that keeping your identities secret was essential to keep the miraculous out of Hawkmoth’s hands.” He sighed. “It wasn’t until Adrien surrendered his miraculous that I realized how deeply this rule had injured you both. How it could harm as much as protect.”

“Did you know?” Adrien asked. “That we were soulmates?”

“No,” Master Fu said. “But that night, I began to be suspicious. I was surprised to learn that you also had a soulmate, especially when the probability of even one of you having a soulmate was so small. And then, when I saw you two together, I could almost sense the bond myself. Not only partnership. Not only friendship. Not only love. It was something that simultaneously encompassed and exceeded those three types of attachment. A level of connection that, I daresay, even other soulmates fail to achieve.”

Adrien looked over at Marinette. She smiled, and warmth flooded through his veins.

“It does not surprise me to learn that your bond, even when starved for so long, has surpassed the need for physical touch. Perhaps it was the trial of separation that forced it to evolve in order to survive. Perhaps it was your own choice to forge through times of difficulty together, growing closer together rather than further apart. Regardless, one thing is clear: the two of you are soulmates—not just by circumstance but by choice—and the power of your bond is unlike anything I have ever seen. It’s a different kind of magic than that of the miraculous, but it’s magic nonetheless. And I believe that in the end, both kinds of magic will be needed to defeat Hawkmoth and restore peace to Paris.”

Master Fu glanced at Wayzz. “Since that night, I have thought long and hard about the rule to keep your identities a secret. And I came to the conclusion that in this case, it does more harm than good. If you had not come to me today, I had planned to call you both here in a few days.”

Then he bowed his head. “The truth is, I was foolish to ever try to keep soulmates apart. And now I must beg your forgiveness.”

Adrien caught Marinette’s eye, echoing her smile.

“Of course,” she said. “Of course we forgive you, Master.”

Fu lifted his head and smiled. “Thank you, Ladybug and Chat Noir. You have done more than enough to prove that you are not only worthy to wield the miraculous but willing to sacrifice for the greater good. Which is why I have come to another important decision.”

Adrien glanced at Marinette again. They watched as Master Fu heaved himself to his feet and walked over to an old gramophone. He leaned over it, and when he straightened, it had opened up. Fu lifted a box out of its base and carried it carefully back to the mat.

“This is the miracle box,” he explained to Adrien. “It contains all of the miraculous that are not currently in use.”

“But … I thought you were letting us keep our miraculous?” Adrien asked hesitantly.

Fu smiled. “I didn’t bring this to take anything from you.” His eyes shifted to Marinette. “I brought it to give.”

Marinette gasped.

“What?” Adrien asked quickly. “What do you mean?”

“Marinette has been training with me for three years now, so that someday she could become the next Guardian of the miraculous. And now that day has come.”

Marinette was practically buzzing beside him—equal parts hesitation and anticipation.

“But are you sure?” she whispered. “Are you sure it’s the right time?”

Fu placed a hand on top of the box. “I believe Tikki and Plagg when they say that you two are the best holders they have ever had. I have nothing left to teach you, Marinette. And with a partner like Adrien, you are more ready than ever to take on this responsibility. If you will have it.”

Marinette looked at Adrien, as if she were asking for his opinion. He grinned and nodded, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. She flashed a grin back.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I accept.”

“Good.” Fu lifted the box. “Then I, Wang Fu, hereby relinquish the miracle box and name Ladybug—Marinette Dupain-Cheng—the new Guardian of the miraculous!”

The box glowed in Fu’s hands and rose into the air with a brilliant show of color. Adrien shielded his eyes from the light and felt Marinette’s hand slip away. When the light faded, a rounded container, red and spotted, rested in her hands.

“Guardian, I now surrender my own miraculous into your care.” Fu turned to Wayzz and bowed. “Thank you, Wayzz, for so many years of loyal companionship. I will treasure it always.”

Wayzz bowed back. “And you as well, Master,” he said morosely.

“Cheer up!” said Fu. “The new Guardian will take excellent care of you. Won’t you, Marinette?”

“Of—of course!”

“Can we come back to visit sometimes?” Wayzz asked hopefully.

“Sure.” Marinette smiled. “Whenever you want.”

Wayzz relaxed. “Thank you.”

“Until next time, old friend.” Fu slipped the band from his wrist, and Wayzz disappeared inside.

“Uh …” Marinette set the box down and pressed on one of the spots. The box opened to reveal several compartments.

“I trust you, Ladybug.” Fu carefully placed the band inside the box. “And you too, Chat Noir. I have no doubt that you will protect the miracle box and the city well.”

Marinette closed the box. “Thank you.”

“Being the Guardian means that you are entrusted with the miraculous and everything to do with them,” Fu said. “Which means that the method, order, and knowledge of their use is entirely up to you.”

Marinette blinked. “What do you mean? I can—change the rules?”

Fu nodded. “You may do whatever you feel is best. In my time as Guardian, I have made many mistakes. You have seen them yourself. I hope you will learn from them so that you can make wiser decisions than I did.”

He leaned forward, eyes bright. “If there is one piece of advice I may leave with you, it is this: in the fight against evil, good people must stand together. You have already found your most trustworthy ally in Adrien, but others will be needed to bring down Hawkmoth. Select them carefully. As Guardian, I was alone for many years. But you need not be. Surround yourself with allies you can trust, and arm them with whatever they need to help you in your fight. Do you understand?”

Marinette nodded. “I understand.”

“Good.” Fu got to his feet, and they followed suit. “It has been a pleasure, Ladybug. Chat Noir.”

Fu fetched the grimoire, and they said their goodbyes. Marinette shifted the miracle box to one arm so she could take Adrien’s hand.

“Come on,” she said softly. “Let’s go home.”

 

---

 

He sat cross-legged on her bed, facing her.

Plagg and Tikki were with the other kwamis in the miracle box, presumably enjoying a happy reunion, and Adrien sat across from Marinette, in her bedroom, on her bed.

No mask. No gloves. Just him. Adrien.

Marinette held his gaze. “Today was … a lot, huh?”

He nodded. “A good lot, though.”

“Yeah.” She picked at a piece of fluff on her bedspread. “But it’s so much, right? Like, we have so much to talk about that I don’t even know where to start.”

Adrien caught her restless hand, tracing a finger over her palm. She shivered at his touch.

“Well, maybe, for now, we could just … kiss about it.”

She laughed. “What? How will that help?”

“Oh, I think it would be very helpful.” He leaned forward. “You know what they say: a kiss is worth a thousand words.”

“A picture is worth a thousand words.”

“So a kiss must be worth ten thousand words.” He brought her hand to his lips. “And all the words are ‘I love you.’”

“That’s it?” The corner of her mouth twitched, and he could feel her tease tugging at him. “After everything that happened today, that’s all you have to say?”

He leaned in close so that their noses were almost touching. “Yeah, pretty much. That’s the most important thing, anyway. I love you.”

“I think …” Marinette wet her lips. “I think maybe you need to say it ten thousand more times.”

“Can I take a shortcut?”

“If you must,” she breathed.

He brought his lips to hers, and she melted against him. Every atom of his body relaxed, like they no longer had to work so hard to hold his shape. Because his shape matched hers, and she held him together the way that line and color held an image together. All the things he was were also her, all their threads inextricably twined together into something like art, something like living, to tell a story that was only theirs. It seemed like every quiet, perfect thing in the universe had distilled on her lips, and she was whispering all of it back into him with every kiss, till his insides were a mirror of the infinity around him (Marinette’s infinity. Marinette).

She leaned forward, gently pushing him back onto the pillows to straddle his waist. The air caught in his throat while she hovered over him, her warm breath fanning over his face.

“I knew it had to be you,” she whispered. “Ever since Max said it. Ninety-three percent.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And then I couldn't stop seeing how much sense it made, even though I tried so hard to not see. There was too much coincidence. Too many similarities. It had to be you, but I couldn't hope for that because what if I was wrong and I was giving all my love to the wrong person? What if you were someone else and I wasn't loving you the way you deserved?”

“But it was me,” Adrien breathed.

“It was you. It was always you. Even when it wasn't, it was still you.” She lowered her mouth back to his, and he sighed into the kiss.

“Wait.” He broke away. “I just realized … I was the other boy. The whole time. I was the boy Ladybug always told me she was in love with.”

“Yeah, it was you.” She laughed. “I told you I couldn't love you because I already loved you. How stupid is that?”

“Maybe as stupid as me crying all night about how I still loved you because I loved you now instead.”

She pressed a laughing kiss to his lips, and he could feel her smile against his mouth, inside his chest, around his bones. It had the same perfect arc as the sky, and in the moment he felt like all his angles were bending to match the same curve.

“I can't decide if that means that I fell in love with you twice … or if it was all the same love the whole time,” he said.

She pulled back to look at him. Locks of dark hair framed her face, hanging down to tickle his cheeks.

“It was different loves for me,” she said softly. “I fell for you fast and then I fell for you slowly, and it felt different—it was different—but it was all for you.”

He reached up to cradle her cheek in his palm. “But in the end, it was just a different side of the same coin, right? And—and maybe the sides were never even that different. Like, I love you in all the ways that I know how, but when you put it all together it’s all one whole. It always has been.”

She grinned. “Like your ugly bouquets.”

“Exactly.” He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “And now I can give it to you all at once, instead of in pieces. Now that I know it’s always been for you. All of it.”

“I love you,” she said. “Times ten thousand.”

He lifted his head as she lowered hers, and they met in the middle like the sky and the horizon. With Marinette’s lips on his, Adrien felt just as endless, stretched out to the ends of infinity, a feeling so big it couldn’t fit inside him.

He kissed her until his lips went dry, until all the breath in his lungs was hers, until her fingerprints were all over his soul, until he didn’t know where he ended and she began.

Eventually Marinette ended up snuggled beside him, her legs tangled up with his and her face buried in his neck, her warm breath leaving goosebumps on his skin. The scent of her hibiscus lotion mixed with her strawberry shampoo, filling his lungs, clouding his head, making him feel sleepy and dizzy and calm and alive, all at once.

She slipped a hand under his t-shirt, trailing her fingers up his stomach, and he shuddered.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Is this okay?”

“Y-yeah,” he said.

Hesitantly, he lifted the edge of her camisole. Her breath shook as he slid his hand up the smooth skin of her back. His fingers brushed the edge of her bra, and he stopped.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“Mmm.” She sighed into his neck and pressed a kiss to his collarbone. Her fingers kept tracing tiny circles under his shirt.

He didn’t know how long they lay there, breathing together in a state almost like sleep, but soon the light coming through her window thickened like syrup, shifting from gold to hazy peach.

“Watch the sunset with me?” she asked.

“Sure.”

She untangled herself from his limbs and stood, pushing the skylight open. He followed her out onto the balcony, where he sat in the extra chair she’d put out there just for him, years ago.

Her fingers found his, threading between them, and she leaned against his shoulder while they both looked out at the city below. The rooftops were lined in brilliant orange, the sun suspended above them like it was hanging from a string.

“Adrien,” she murmured, “tell me something I don’t know.”

He cast around for an answer, but nothing came to him.

“Now that I can tell you anything, I don’t know what to say,” he admitted.

“Something,” she said. “Just tell me something. Every day tell me something. Until there are no more somethings left to tell.”

He kept his eyes fixed ahead, on the streaks of pink and orange and the burnished golden sun. It looked the way he felt inside, vast and vibrant, and it was so big, it was all so much that he didn’t know how to keep it all inside him. He felt like he’d tried to swallow the sun, and now it was caught between his heart and his throat, burning softly, somewhere between brilliant and blinding.

Marinette lifted her head. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t …” He hesitated. “I don’t know how to be this happy.”

For a moment, her eyes searched him. Then she kissed him, soft and slow.

“So don’t think about it,” she whispered. “Just be. Just sit here with me and be happy.”

He breathed in and gripped her hand tighter. Marinette settled back against his shoulder, a bundle of warmth in the fading light.

He rested his head on top of her hair and let his breathing slow to match hers. Then he let his eyes slip closed.

Somehow he could feel her even better with the rest of the world shut out. She was a thousand points of light studded along each of his veins, a map of silver stars that all led to forever, to home, to her. And as he followed the path she’d left for him, the sun inside him shrank just a little, allowing him to breathe. Or maybe Adrien got bigger, to make room for everything inside him.

It was strangely comforting. To know that even now, his love wasn’t done growing. To feel his soul stretch to hold her, swell to meet her.

He didn’t know what other storms would come their way, but he wasn’t afraid to face them. Every choice he’d made had led him to this moment, stargazing with his eyes closed, with Marinette’s hand in his. And every choice after would lead them to new moments—joyful and jaded and painful and perfect—perfect enough, just like she’d said. Somehow he knew that in the end, all their bruises would be beautiful. All their memories would be gold.

It was good, this feeling. It was right.

It was home.

He breathed it in and let it all wash over him again.

It came in waves,

and waves,

and waves.

Notes:

do you guys know that experiment where the scientists give a little kid like a marshmallow or a chocolate chip or something and tell them if they wait for 15 mins they can have a cupcake. this chapter was supposed to be the cupcake. so I really hope it felt like a cupcake and that it was a good one and that it was worth all the waiting and fakeouts for over 100k omg dhsjksksdn I kinda painted myself into a corner with this fic bc I had built up the reveal and the soulmate connection to the point that it would be nearly impossible to properly deliver lol but I tried my best and I really hope it felt satisfying 🙏

I am so grateful for all of your patience with this!! Y’all are troopers!! thank you for sticking with me till the end! 💜 one more chapter to tie things up, hope you like it!

Also shout out to the couple of people who theorized that their bond was growing even without touch!! I didn’t want to give it away so I didn’t say anything lol but I was so stoked to see those comments bc i've been trying to hint at that for the entire fic and didn't know if it was too obvious or not obvious enough lol. maybe it's kind of forced and Convenient but consider this: the power of love always so strong please let me have this

P.S. yes in this AU the guardian memory loss is not a thing aklsjdfkjlsf I didn’t have the strength for it bc marinette and adrien have been waiting so long to be happy together and I couldn’t stand the idea of one more thing hanging over them to ruin it (apart from the whole Hawkmoth Is My Dad thing that we are also not unpacking right now lol) ANYWAY it’s my fic and I can do what I want and I say they get to be happy :') finallY

ETA: HERE IS ANNA’S ART OF THE REVEAL SCENE IM SOBBING

Chapter 29: spilled legumes

Summary:

ladyblogger

OMFG IF U DONT SPILL SOME LEGUMES RIGHT THIS SECOND I WILL PARKOUR OVER TO UR HOUSE AND STRANGLE U

Notes:

nothing in this chapter is strictly necessary and it’s way too long but it’s my tms going-out-of-business sale so i just wanted to pack in as much post-reveal clownery and sap in as possible before the end!! lol hope u enjoy!

2 weeks ago

13:18

notchatnoir

hey ladybug

luckycharmed

what

notchatnoir

i love u

luckycharmed

love u too adrien💜

notchatnoir

hey ladybug

luckycharmed

what

notchatnoir

remember how i just said i love you

luckycharmed

? yes?

notchatnoir

ok good

dont forget that

hey ladybug

luckycharmed

oml what!!

notchatnoir

remember that time i was pretending to be a statue and you delivered a dramatic monologue 2 me and then tried to kiss me

luckycharmed

………

remember that time i broke up with you just now

bye

notchatnoir

NOOOOOOOOO

milady please im sorry:(

i said i love you i remember

I LOVE YOU

luckycharmed

if you love me you’ll never speak of that again 🔪

notchatnoir

ok can i ask one tiny clarifying question tho before i never bring it up again

luckycharmed

😒 fine

notchatnoir

did you rip out a strand of my hair and put it in your purse

luckycharmed

good news!!! breakup is still on

notchatnoir

so you admit it!!! i knew it

listetn if u want my hair i will shave it all off and give it to you, i swear

luckycharmed

ADRIEN PLEASE IM GONNA KILL U

notchatnoir

ok i thouguht i was making a romantic gesture but:(

i can pull off the bald look!! remember aspik??

luckycharmed

who?

notchatnoir

oh wait you don’t remember that

it was when u gave me the snake miraculous

my name was aspik but that wasn’t in a loop you remember

luckycharmed

i still can’t believe you tried to save me like 25,000 times 😭

also i hate to say it but like…..tbh u didnt pull off the bald cap as well as u apparently think u did SDLKJFSKJDLF

notchatnoir

whiteguyblinking.gif

um. ok

i wore that outfit for like 2 and a half months why did you never say anything :/

luckycharmed

stOP im gonna cry????? you did htat over and over for me for so long and the only reason yuo failed was that we needed chat-you ???

im so sorry adrien

notchatnoir

ok i was just joking pls dont be sad!!

i mean, yeah it was really hard at the time and it took me a few months to recover but it was a long time ago

and now im happier than i’ve ever been in my life and it’s all because of you💜

luckycharmed

i keep feeling like this can’t be real

like i’ll wake up tomorrow and it will have all been a dream and you won’t know who i am

or master fu will change his mind

or your dad will find out and make us break up because i’m not good for your image or something

notchatnoir

ok 1. definitely not a dream, because i dont think my brain could have come up with something that good lol

2. master fu cant do anything, he already gave up the box and you’re the guardian now. and he wouldn’t do that anyway, he seemed very sure

3. how would you be bad for my image…..youre like a genius designer who has won multiple gabriel contests and teen fashion awards. also youre smart and funny and kind and everyone loves you

luckycharmed

idk!! i’ll probably trip and knock over his favorite mannequin or something and then he’ll say u have to dump me:(

notchatnoir

then it’s a good thing i’ve had like 2 and a half years of practice of sneaking into ur bedroom at night undetected :)

wait that made me sound so creepy 😩😩

luckycharmed

ljFSDKSJKLF

notchatnoir

the point is!!!! if my father ever disapproves of you then he’s just wrong and i don’t care what he thinks

nothing is going to keep us apart anymore, not even him

luckycharmed

we gotta tell him though, right?

notchatnoir

i mean, yes, ideally

i will love you any way i can, even if it has to be in secret still, but i would much rather shout it to the entire world haha

including my father

luckycharmed

haha yeah

i dont want to have to hide you anymore

i want you to be able to come in through the front door for once lol

notchatnoir

same

but how can we date publicly after what we told alya and nino? should we just tell them we were lying about not being soulmates?

idk what’s a good reason we’d lie about it tho :/ they’re our best friends

luckycharmed

ok i’ve been thinking about that

notchatnoir

hang on can we move to our other thread

the chat noir/marinette one

luckycharmed

why, what difference does it make

notchatnoir

well

yeah i guess it doesnt

im just used to talking to you the most on that one

and it has most of our pins of stupid things we’ve said

and. idk im just attached to it now 👉👈

luckycharmed

why did you start this conversation on this one then

notchatnoir

ok dont hurt me but since i had three threads to choose from i debated for like 5 minutes and then decided that the st*tue thing would be funniest on this one

luckycharmed

LSDJFSJLFDS

shut up i hate you

notchatnoir

im sorry but i spent all night merging the Marinette and Ladybug folders in my mind lol and i think i’m finally done processing but just certain things really get me like the fact that ladybug sniffed me and then put her arms around my neck and said she wished we were molded together in the plaster of destiny

luckycharmed

SAKLJDFASKLJFASKJLF SHUT U; SHUT UUP

I WAS 14

WHY DO YOU REMEMBER IT SO WELL

notchatnoir

i mean…..if i had done that to you wouldn’t you remember it very clearly lol

luckycharmed

yes but for different reasons,,

notchatnoir

princess did u have a crush on me…..embarrassing

luckycharmed

we’re literally soulmates

notchatnoir

sounds like a you probelm

i really bought it when you told me it was just a prank tho

luckycharmed

you’re the stupidest person i know

notchatnoir

<3

luckycharmed

ok hang on im gonna switch

notchatnoir

k

 

---

 

13:27

marinettedesigned

ok so remember what i told you about nino and alya last night?

notchatnoir

do you mean the fact that they are also superheroes that i have been working with for years and had no idea they were one of my closest friends?

yeah pretty sure i remember that lol

marinettedesigned

ljksdfajklfa

ok and remember what master fu said, about how we’ll need allies we can trust? and how we should arm them wiith whatever is necessary?

notchatnoir

wait

are you saying we should just...tell them who we are?

marinettedesigned

yeah

they’re alya and nino. we can trust them

and i think we really need them

alya was such a huge support for me this entire time even though i couldn’t really tell her what was going on

notchatnoir

yeah, nino too

marinettedesigned

they deserve to finally know the truth. and to be permanent miraculous holders

it will be so good and helpful to have a few more trusted people who know everything and to grow our team so we can handle akuma attacks better

i really feel like the four of us have to stick together, and that’s the only way we’ll finally be able to take down HM

we’d have to be careful to not let anything slip ofc, and we’d have to protect each other tot make sure HM never got ahold of any of us, but we could cover for each other and take care of each other

idk it just feels like the right move for us rn

dont you think ??

notchatnoir

you dont have ot convince me haha

i trust both of them and it would be such a relief not to have to lie anymore

not just about superhero stuff, but about you too

i’ll feel a lot better with all four of us in on this together

i mean, like, in a way that we are all aware of lol

marinettedesigned

ok lets do it

im gonna message them

notchatnoir

wait right now??

shouldnt we meet up somewhere private or ??

marinettedesigned

NOPE IM ALL HYPEDD UP IM DOING IT NOW SEE YA THERE

notchatnoir

uh ok I guess this is happening??? AAAA

 

---

 

13:39

marinettedesigned

Adrien and I have some news

lahiffesbeats

what, that u guys were pulling our legs the whole time and u really are soulmates? lmao

adrienagrestebrand

……….

yeah kind of

lahiffesbeats

HSJSKSKS ?????

ladyblogger

KIND OF ?????????

WHAT DOES “KIND OF” MEAN??????

marinettedesigned

it means we are soulmates but we weren’t lying

ladyblogger

SLKFJSDKFJLDSJ GIRL U BETTER EXPLAIN

U SAID TO MY FACE “ADRIEN IS NOT MY SOULMATE” HOW IS THAT NOT LYING

marinettedesigned

I wasn’t!!! I didn’t know it was him

lahiffesbeats

uhh I’m really happy u guys are soulmates but literally this makes zero sense lol

adrienagrestebrand

um

well

lahiffesbeats

??

adrienagrestebrand

marinette should we wait to do this in person

marinettedesigned

I mean we already dangled the carrot alkfdsajf

also I feel like if we did this in person then they might explode and we would be in the danger zone

I feel safer behind a screen

ladyblogger

OMFG IF U DONT SPILL SOME LEGUMES RIGHT THIS SECOND I WILL PARKOUR OVER TO UR HOUSE AND STRANGLE U

adrienagrestebrand

ok here goes nothing

I’m chat noir.

lahiffesbeats

…….

bro are u kidding me right now

adrien if you’re joking I will literally kill you

adrienagrestebrand

im not joking

I am Chat Noir.

that’s why marinette couldn’t tell you who I was

lahiffesbeats

LJKDFSLKJF fdsajlkfj F>???.sF?S??

adrienagrestebrand

how u doing buddy

lahiffesbeats

i’M DOING GREAT THANKS

MY BEST BRO IS CHAT NOIR??????

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

wait so u already know about me then right??

adrienagrestebrand

that you’re carapace? Yeah

lahiffesbeats

DUDE THIS IS SO FREAKING COOL YOU ARE CHAT NOIR WHAT THE HECK

wait wait wait so this means u and marinette clicked while you were chat noir????

marinettedesigned

yes

lahiffesbeats

was this while you were saving her from an akuma or something ??

marinettedesigned

no, we were eating cookies

lahiffesbeats

what

adrienagrestebrand

we’ve actually been friends for years haha

lahiffesbeats

I mean I know ?? We have all been friends for years??

marinettedesigned

he meant chat noir

like, I was friends w chat and didn’t know it was adrien

lahiffesbeats

bro WHAT you’ve been secretly hanging out with marinette as a superhero like ???? WHAT

adrienagrestebrand

yeah it sounds really weird when you say it like that but. It didn’t feel weird to me

lahiffesbeats

….it didn’t feel weird to hang out at your friend’s house in a catsuit without her knowing that you u were the dude who sat in front of her at school?????? Who she was madly in love with for years???

adrienagrestebrand

ok IN MY DEFENSE I didn’t know she was in love with me

but also yeah this is not looking good for me marinette wanna back me up

marinettedesigned

um

I’m ladybug

lahiffesbeats

ALKSFSKLJDFSLADKFALKSDFA;KLFS WHAT

OK THIS IS ALL A PRANK RIGHT

NONE OF THIS IS REAL

I HATE YOU GUYS

you know I’m gullible ugh

alya are you buying any of this

alya?

wait she hasn’t said anything this whole time

alya did you get all this???? Are you still there????

ladyblogger

SFKLKJSADFASJKLDF;LKSDFLJASFLJKDSAFKLJADFSLJKAFSKLJFDSAJKLAFSKLJAFSKJLAFDSF;AADSFKL;ASF;ASF;KFSASDFAKSAFSDFA;DDSAFADFS;KFADSKJLAFSD;KLDFSJLKFADSKSLKFJSADLKFJDSLK;FJDSA;LKFJADS;LKFJADSLK;FJADSL;KFJASDL;KFJAS;DLKFJASD;LKFJA;SLDKJFAD;SLKJFA;LSKDJF;ALSKDJFL;ASKJF;LAKDSJF;LKASJDF;KASDJF;LKASDJF;AKLSJDFL;DAKSJFL;DKSJFL;KJALSKJFALS;DKJFSA;LKDJFA;LSKDF;AKLSDJF;KALSDJFKLASDJFKL;ASDJF;KASDJF;LAKSJF;LKASJDF;LAKJSD;LKJAFS;DLKJFA;LKSDFJA;SLKJF;ASLDKJFA;LSKDJFA;LKSDJFAKL;SDJF;KDLSJF;ASLDKJF;LAKDSJF;LAKSDJFA;LKJ

lahiffesbeats

omg you broke her

marinettedesigned

al, you ok?

ladyblogger

MARINETTE IS THIS TRUE

DO NOT LIE TO ME I AM FRAGILE

marinettedesigned

I would never lie to you!!!!

ok apart from all the times I have lied to you to protect my identity, sorry about that alksdjfajks

ladyblogger

are you guys really ladybug and chat noir

cause as I’ve been blue screening for the past few mins I feel like it’s impossible but it also weirdly makes sense

adrienagrestebrand

yes. We are ladybug and chat noir

but neither of us knew that until yesterday haha

marinette and I (chat noir) were friends for years and got really close

marinettedesigned

and fell in love but didn't know it aslkdjfa

adrienagrestebrand

i mean i knew it

as in, i knew i was in love with you

lahiffesbeats

wow that's what i call growth LMAO

adrienagrestebrand

shut up

marinettedesigned

i was also in love with him but didnt like. Realize

adrienagrestebrand

right

and then we clicked

and dated secretly without knowing each other’s identities

(like, she didn’t know I was adrien and I didn’t know she was ladybug)

ladyblogger

guyS im still flipping out literally I think im having a heart attack

lahiffesbeats

nooooo alya don’t have a heart attack ur so sexy aha

adrienagrestebrand

uh stay with us alya haha

marinettedesigned

also we weren’t allowed to touch :( It sucked

lahiffesbeat

what??

adrienagrestebrand

the guardian told marinette we couldn’t bc if the bond grew it could compromise our identities

lahiffesbeat

wait you couldn’t like. kiss???

marinettedesigned

no :( we couldn’t have any skin contact at all

lahiffesbeat

bruh that SUCKS

adrienagrestebrand

yeah it really did

ladyblogger

hang on hang on sorry my brain is still. exploding

so u two clicked. marinette and chat noir (stop htat’s so weird?????)

marinettedesigned

it’s not that weird

lahiffesbeat

yeah it is it’s really freakin weird lol

ladyblogger

ok and then marinette--who is LADYBUG?????--went to talk to the guardian

and he instituted a ‘no touchy’ rule???

so u guys were mutually pining after each other for all this time, unable to touch, unable to tell each other who you really were????

adrienagrestebrand

yes

ladyblogger

im literally gonna cry

that’s legit so tragic

like i could tell you both were kinda sad all the time but i figured it was just because secret dating is hard

i mean i had know idea what the full picture was

im so sorry you had to go through that

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, it was really hard

but i dont regret any of it

marinettedesigned

me neither

adrienagrestebrand

i think it also made us stronger, you know?

cause we had to choose to stay together even when it was really hard

ladyblogger

GAH THAT’S SO ROMANTIC FR YALL ARE SOULMATES IM GONNA YEET MYSESLF INTO THE SEINE

lahiffesbeat

nooo alya dont yeet yourself into the seine you’re so sexy aha

ladyblogger

omg…..marinette…..i teased u so much about making out with your soulmate😭😭😭 and you couldnt kiss him at all????

marinettedesigned

unfortunately no

ladyblogger

cryingcat.jpg

if i couldnt kiss nino i would be so sad

lahiffesbeat

same 😔 alya come smooch me im smooch deprived

ladyblogger

WAIT omg…. this explains why adrien has been actiing so weird around u all the time 💀

like remember when he came to school wearing that stupid coat from a british period drama

lahiffesbeat

OH YEAH LMFAO

wait wasn’t that was the same day we asked them about it??

and max told us there was a 90-whatever percent chance

marinettedesigned

yeah

lahiffesbeat

bro why did believe them LSKDFJSJFKL we had statistical confirmation and adrien was acting sus af 😂

marinettedesigned

i mean i genuinely didnt know

i wasnt lying bc i didn’t know it was him

lahiffesbeat

ok but like……...how could it not be

ur ladybug dont tell me u didn’t figure it out lol

marinettedesigned

well….i mean after that i think i kind of. did know

but i wasnt allowed to so i ignored it? idk??

lahiffesbeat

uh ok?

ladyblogger

nah that checks out, marinette’s really good at denial lmao

marinettedesigned

sjlkfdasj HEY

lahiffesbeat

so is adrien<3 mr. “she’s just a friend”

adrienagrestebrand

ok i haven’t done that in a long time

i fell in love with marinette years ago at this point

ladyblogger

‼️SCREAM‼️

yall ive been processing so much information iim actually gonna explode

lahiffesbeat

noooo alya dont explode you’re so sexy aha

marinettedesigned

are you gonna do that every time

ladyblogger

yea he always does that. dweeb lol

adrienagrestebrand

i appreciate the commitment

lahiffesbeat

thanks bro

ladyblogger

ok ok ok….not that i dont believe u guys but

this is really wild right

lahiffesbeat

yell heah it’s wild YEEHAW im having the time of my LIFE lmao

marinettedesigned

ok how bout we prove it to you

come to the bakery in an hour

ladybug and chat noir will meet you outside :)

ladyblogger

lkjdfajkslf WAAAAAA

marinettedesigned

and then they will give you your miraculous, permanently

lahiffesbeat

WAIT ARE U FOR REAL

ARE WE GONNA BE FULLTIME MIRACULOUS HOLDERS

marinettedesigned

yes! adrien and i talked about iit and we really think the four of us should be a team

ladyblogger

hang on,,you can just????? do that?????

the guardian said you could??

like what about The Rules i thought you couldnt know each other’s identities???

marinettedesigned

im the guardian now

ladyblogger

JKLDFJKSFLD: WHAT?????????

lahiffesbeat

this entire conversation has been so wack and chaotic, im obsessed with the energy lol let’s keep it going guys what other shocking confessions do you have for us today

marinettedesigned

adrien and i can read each other’s minds without even touching

sort of

ladyblogger

ALJKSFDDASLDJFK OK WHAT NOW

I NEED MORE INFORMATION

actually i need lesss

im shortcircuiting besties!!! goodbye it was nice knowing u!!!!

lahiffesbeat

nooo alya don’t shortcircuit, youre too sexy aha

marinettedesigned

okay u know what, we’ll explain everything when we see you. we can find a rooftop somewhere and we’ll tell you the whole story

but for now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make out with adrien

lahiffesbeat

SLKDFSLKJFSLJKFJKLD DID SHE JSUT SAY THAT

MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG JSUT SAID THAT

marinettedesigned

listen we were soulmates for FOUR MONTHS and couldn’t touch each others’ skin

lahiffesbeat

that’s rough, buddy

marinettedesigned

I am going to smooch him right now and I am going to smooch him good

Adrien come over

oh wow he’s already here KJFSDJK

lahiffesbeat

omg chat noir is there? Can you tell him hi for me 👉👈

gross they’re probably making out rn

and now im talking to myself

making out with no one

alya do you wanna make out

ladyblogger

WTF JUST HAPPENED

lahiffesbeat

come over here and I’ll walk you through it lol

ladyblogger

u better come here instead….im currently melting into a pile of goo like mr. howl movingcastle

lahiffesbeats

nooo dont melt into a pile goo like mr. howl movingcastle ur too sexy aha

ok ok im omw lol

 

---

 

18:03

ladyblogger

hey so just checking……you guys are still ladybug and chat noir right

like that wasn’t just some weird fever dream I had

marinettedesigned

yes

lahiffesbeats

alya isnt trixx with u

like isn’t that proof enough lol

ladyblogger

yes but he’s the kwami of illusion maybe all of this is fake

lahiffesbeats

eh she’ll get there

she had this reaction when the last issue of the majestia comic finally confirmed that majestia is a lesbian

ladyblogger

LJKDFDZDJKFJ shut up

lahiffesbeats

meanwhile me n wayzz are straight chillin✌️

marinettedesigned

if he seems a little sad it’s bc he misses master fu :( but he seems to really like u! and I think he’ll be happier with you than in the miracle box anyway haha

lahiffesbeats

dw im taking good care of him

love this groovy lil dude

we’re eatin a bowl of lettuce together🥬 he said it was his fav haha

ladyblogger

wow ur mom must’ve been shocked to see u voluntarily eat a vegetable

lahiffesbeats

hey i eat veggies all the time

ladyblogger

potato chips dont count as vegetables

lahiffesbeats

well maybe i will switch to kale chips!! me and my boi wayzz will be eatin healthy af!!

hmm wonder if he’d like flamin hot cheetos

ladyblogger

what happened to eating healthy af

lahiffesbeats

it’s about the bonding dude. i eat his fav snack, he eats mine. we become so powerful that hawkmoth quivers before us

marinettedesigned

ok as much as im all for you bonding with your kwami pls do not feed him that he’ll probably get sick

ladyblogger

yeah bc they’re nasty

btw where’s sunshine?

marinettedesigned

he had a photoshoot, should be done soon tho

lahiffesbeats

@adrienagrestebrand are hot cheetos good back me up bro

adrienagrestebrand

uh idk ive never had them

marinettedesigned

done early?

adrienagrestebrand

im on a break rn

lahiffesbeats

guys chat noir is literally a model why is that so funny to me askljdlksjf

wait WAIT

i just realized

chat noir was in love with ladybug

and marinette was in love with adrien

and then chat noir and marinette fell in love with EACH OTHER???

adrienagrestebrand

yes that is an accurate summary haha

ladyblogger

so you guys both fell in love with each other twice?? 🥺

marinettedesigned

yes we did

ladyblogger

omG that's so romantic nino our love story sucks in comparison

lahiffesbeats

ok i wont stand for that

our love story is literally a rihanna song

we found love in a hopeless place

(a panther cage)

ladyblogger

SFKLJSFJLKSK you're right, ours is better

adrienagrestebrand

it's not a competition?

lahiffesbeats

yeah but we still win because we didn't have to simp over each other for 3 years in different costumes

we were just like, "hey, let's be in love forever k" and then we WERE

power move

power couple

[mic drop]

ladyblogger

ur absolutely correct babe

ladynoir could never

marinettedesigned

heY

adrienagrestebrand

we are literal soulmates

lahiffesbeats

is that supposed to be a flex....ok

ladyblogger

i don't need to touch nino to know how he feels

it's just very obvious how he feels at all times, he's not good at hiding it

lahiffesbeats

and alya just tells me when she's pissed so

our communication is one of our greatest strengths

lahiffesbeats changed the channel name: djwifi>ladynoir

marinettedesigned

??

adrienagrestebrand

what's djwifi

lahiffesbeats

it's our ship name. alya came up with it

ladyblogger

yeah alyno and ninalya just werent doing it for me

omg i just realized that my two otps were actually the SAME ship the whole time!!!!

lahiffesbeats

oh like ladynoir and adrienette?? HAHA YEAH

wait why aren't we your otp :/

ladyblogger

first of all you can't be your own otp

second of all it's adrinette

lahiffesbeats

whatever

but wait......ladynoir and adrinette only became a thing through. um. marinoir

ladyblogger

gross i hate that

lahiffesbeats

chatinette?

ladyblogger

barf

lahiffesbeats

chatnoirinette

ladyblogger

you're terrible at this

obviously it should be marichat

adrienagrestebrand

do we get a vote?

ladyblogger

no. everyone knows i have the best taste

marinettedesigned

that's fair tbh

marichat is cute

adrienagrestebrand

yeah we are:)

lahiffesbeats

bro brO..........it was like.......a love triangle....except it was a square?? LOL

adrienagrestebrand

what does that mean

lahiffesbeats

ok because like. you (chat noir) liked ladybug (marinette). while ladybug (marinette) liked adrien (chat noir).

it’s a square

ladyblogger

tf that’s so complicated my brain hurts

crap my mom wants me to help put away groceries i’ll ttyl

adrienagrestebrand

yeah i gotta go too, my photographer is callingme back

lahiffesbeats

ok see ya

im gonna educate wayzz about his radical brethren the teenage mutant ninja turtles 🐢

marinettedesigned

haha have fun

 

---

 

20:36

lahiffesbeats

hello again i just realized that CHAT NOIR came to me for relationship advice........and i was so good at it.... wtf im a god. the god of being a perfect boyfriend

ladyblogger

yes u are babe

also LADYBUG came to me crying bc CHAT NOIR broke up with her ?????

adrien literally wtfff

adrienagrestebrand

please don't remind me....

marinettedesigned

yeah ADRIEN u broke up with me because i wouldnt let you read my DIARY

because it would give away that i am LADYBUG

lahiffesbeats

BRO IS THAT WHY JDFLKSFJ

i cant believe the “boundary” u were talking about was her dIARY like bro. that is obviously off limits i didnt even need to compare that to a stupid hat asjlkdfajl

omg no baby i didn't mean to call you stupid, i love you im sorry ur so sexy aha

ladyblogger

are u talking to your hat

lahiffesbeats

yeah i thought that was obvious

adrienagrestebrand

im so sorry, marinette. nino's right and you're right. i feel awful

marinettedesigned

skljafsjddf no adrien please i was kidding 😭 we’re so far past that omg do not beat yourself up about that again 😭 i love u everything’s fine

lahiffesbeats

aw bud, it's ok to screw up sometimes as long as you fix it. and you did

not to always bring up gabriel agreste's trashy nature but like....he's trash lol

you really dont have a model for healthy relationships

adrienagrestebrand

except you and alya

seriously, im so grateful for you two

ladyblogger

well. we are the best

marinettedesigned

yes you are 🥺

ladyblogger

omg nino ladynoir thinks we're the best LJKFSDJF

lahiffesbeats

they think we're RELATIONSHIP GOALS

ladyblogger

YEAH

🦊🤝🐢

lahiffesbeats

🎧🤝📶

ladyblogger

👏👏💋👏👏🗣💯

🆗🔃

lahiffesbeats

👏👏💋👏👏🗣💯

marinettedesigned

what is going on

ladyblogger

🎧🤝📶

lahiffesbeats

🦊🤝🐢

ladyblogger

🤜

lahiffesbeats

🤛

ladyblogger

✨✨✨🧡💚🧡

lahiffesbeats

💚🧡💚✨✨✨

adrienagrestebrand

um. what

lahiffesbeats

it’s our virtual secret handshake

ladyblogger

yeah get on our level losers

marinettedesigned

we know morse code

adrienagrestebrand

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / -- .- .-. .. -. . - - .

marinettedesigned

-.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / .- / -.-. ..- - . / -... ..- - -

adrienagrestebrand

KLJFDSKLSJF

.-- .... -.-- / - .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / .--. .-. .. -. -.-. . ... ...😌

lahiffesbeats

tf is happening rn

y'all better not be sexting right in front of my salad

adrienagrestebrand

SLKFJSDLKJF NO

lahiffesbeats

u know, i always say that but i actually do have salad rn lmao

adrienagrestebrand

i just said "i love you" omg

ladyblogger

is that all

marinettedesigned

i said he has a cute butt

ladyblogger

KSLFSLJKDFJ girl i am living for this.........marinette dupain-cheng.......telling adrien agreste he has a cute butt......never thought i'd live to see the day

adrienagrestebrand

i do have a cute butt

lahiffesbeats

loving the confidence, man

adrienagrestebrand

-- .- .-. .. -. . - - . .----. ... / -... ..- - - / .. ... / ... --- / -.-. ..- - . / - .... .- - / ... .... . / -.-. .- -. / ..-. .- .-. - / .. -. / ..-. .-. --- -. - / --- ..-. / -- .

marinettedesigned

JSDSKJFD

lahiffesbeats

this is getting obnoxious btw lmao

marinettedesigned

your “secret handshake” lasted like 10 hours

ladyblogger

"marinette's butt is so cute that she can fart in front of me" ????

lahiffesbeats

ok this is 100000% worse than sexting, i have to leave immediately

babe can u believe ladybug and chat noir are so tacky wtf

ladyblogger

all this time the fate of our city was in the hands of two complete clowns

one of whom once asked me to throw her into a vat of acid because she told her crush he "cooked lice" instead of "looked nice"

lahiffesbeats

the other of whom once asked me if it's normal to want to kiss someone who's just a friend and whether i personally ever thought about kissing marinette

adrienagrestebrand

NINO

marinettedesigned

ok u know what actually

u guys dont get to know our identities anymore

privileges revoked

ladyblogger

u cant take it back

we already know

marinettedesigned

adrien will just cataclysm your memories of it

adrienagrestebrand

yeaH i....definitely know how to do that

lahiffesbeats

nice try

marinettedesigned

i will lucky charm a memory eraser

ladyblogger

i will mirage a decoy version of us

lahiffesbeats

while we hide safely under my shellter where u cant get to us

ladyblogger

HA

ok whoa yall felt that like magnitude 7.0 earthquake just now right lol

adrienagrestebrand

yeah, there must be an akuma

marinettedesigned

thank goodness

lahiffesbeats

wow ladybug that doesn’t sound very responsible of u to wish for the city to be under attack :/

marinettedesigned

-_-

just stop clowning and meet me out there

ladyblogger

aye aye cap’n

lahiffesbeats

ok i’ll come but u cant stop me from clowning lol

hey adrien last one there is hawkmoth’s buttcrack

oh snap they gone lol COMING

 

---

 

1 week ago

21:47

marinettedesigned

hey kitty, how was your day?

notchatnoir

terrible:(

marinettedesigned

aw what happened?

notchatnoir

i didnt get to see you:(

marinettedesigned

you sit in front of me at school

notchatnoir

yeah and i don’t have eyes in the back of my head so i couldn’t see you

marinettedesigned

aslkdfjd yeah but we had lunch together

notchatnoir

not enough!!!

marinettedesigned

hey speaking of lunch my parents wanted to know if you could come to the bakery tomorrow during break

they’re gonna take turns at the counter so they can each have a chance to eat with us for a bit. they want to “get to know you”

even though they’ve known you years…..but whatever

papa’s making his famous croque monsieurs, you’ll love it

notchatnoir

oh that sounds awesome!!

tell them thank you and i’d love to!

wait i guess i can tell them myself since they gave me their cell numbers haha

marinettedesigned

ugh i hope they haven’t been bothering you 😭 they’re so embarrassing!!

notchatnoir

i think they’re wonderful

marinettedesigned

ok yeah, they’re pretty great haha

notchatnoir

your dad’s been sending me memes lol

marinettedesigned

has he really 😭 im so sorry

notchatnoir

it’s actually really sweet

the day we told them he sent me this one from the godfather that said “welcome to the family” haha

marinettedesigned

asljdsajlf

notchatnoir

and then he told me he’d been waiting for me to ask you out for three years

because you’d been in love with me for so long

and you tried so many times to tell me but you got too nervous

marinettedesigned

SLFJKSFD KILL ME

notchatnoir

and he said that even when you dated other boys like chat noir (who broke your heart) and luka (whose heart you broke) he knew you were still in love with me deep down and that eventually we’d get together. and it didn’t surprise him at all to find out that we’re soulmates because he always knew we were meant to be together

marinettedesigned

PAPA WHY WOULD U SAY ALL THAT IM 😭😭😭

this is literally so embarrassing stop aslkdjfd

notchatnoir

why is it embarrassing….he wasn’t wrong haha

i told him i’d loved you for a really long time but it took me a while to a realize it and our click is what made it finally all happen for us

which is technically true lol

marinettedesigned

please dont tell me my mom has said embarrassing things to you too…..

notchatnoir

no, she just said she was really happy for us haha

and this morning she texted to wish me luck on our chem exam. it was really nice

also she said i was welcome in your home whenever

which i hope works retroactively considering the thousands of hours i’ve spent in your room without them knowing omg

marinettedesigned

uhh cant say my dad would be that happy to know you’ve slept over a bunch of times but what he doesnt know won’t hurt him right :))))

notchatnoir

lol i hope so

oh yeah btw my father officially knows about us

marinettedesigned

you told him???

notchatnoir

i was about to! i finally managed to get a word with him and i told him i had some important news and he was like “you’re dating the dupain-cheng girl, yes i know”

marinettedesigned

SJFJLSFKDS HOW DID HE KNOW

notchatnoir

i asked him and he just pointed to my hat lol

i was wearing the beret you made me

he said he recognized your work

marinettedesigned

JKLSDKLJFSFJKL HE DID???? OH MY GSOJH

notchatnoir

also apparently we weren’t being as sneaky as we thought we were bc nathalie saw me kiss you goodbye when she filled in for gorilla a couple days ago to pick me up 💀

marinettedesigned

stOP that’s so embarrassing,,

so is your dad mad?? 😭

notchatnoir

no, he seemed fine with it

marinettedesigned

are you sure?? tell me exactly how he reacted

notchatnoir

uhh i said i really loved you and he nodded

marinettedesigned

like a good nod??? or a bad nod???

notchatnoir

a good nod i think?

and then he said he’d heard a rumor that we were actually soulmates and asked me if it was true and i said yes

marinettedesigned

and then????

notchatnoir

and then he told me to practice piano and left

marinettedesigned

that….that’s it?

my dad was practically doing the macarena alksjdajklsfd

notchatnoir

yeah my father isn’t really the macarena-doing type lol

marinettedesigned

clearly

notchatnoir

actually he did mention later that since we’re one of the few pairs of soulmates in the city, we should play off that for the brand or whatever

i think he wants us to do a couples’ shoot?

marinettedesigned

ALKSJFDKJLSFD ARE YOU. ARE YOU SERIOUS

notchatnoir

yeah...im sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, i can try to change his mind about it:(

but honestly i would love to do a shoot with you

they’re usually so boring but if i was with you it woul be the best work day ever lol

marinettedesigned

EEEEEk yeah i would actually love to

notchatnoir

YESS omg thank you thank you i love you so much 😭😭😭

marinettedesigned

i love you too🥺

notchatnoir

you sure you’re ready to go like...public public?

i mean i think most of our class kind of knows already lol, i saw juleka and rose whispering and looking at us very obviously

marinettedesigned

haha true

notchatnoir

but i mean….idk, dating me in public might be frustrating sometimes

it’s always uncomfortable when people like follow me around and stuff….

but if you’re okay with it there’s nothing i want more than to finally be able to love you in front of the entire world haha

marinettedesigned

im ladybug i think i can handle some fans and paparazzi lol

notchatnoir

OK GOOD BC I GOT DISNEYLAND TICKETS YESTERDAY AND I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND IN LINE AND KISS U IN FRONT OF THE CASTLE

marinettedesigned

kJFLSDFJKLs ur such a sap :/

notchatnoir

yes i am❤️

marinettedesigned

crazy to think that just a few weeks ago we were talking about this stuff like it was this pie-in-the-sky dream and now it’s just. life

notchatnoir

i know what you mean

and i want to cross another item off our wishlist tomorrow😌

marinettedesigned

what’s that

and don’t say kiss bc that does not count as crossing off a new item

notchatnoir

i hope kissing is part of it at some point but no that’s not what i meant lol

i meant people-watching on the metro

marinettedesigned

oh ok!

notchatnoir

i was thinking we could make a whole day of it

like, meet there in the morning and sit at the station for a while like you said in your letter and then get on and ride it as long as we feel like

and then ride back and catch a movie or something

if we’re lucky we might run into andre somewhere and get ice cream so we can cross that off the list too haha

marinettedesigned

this sounds like the perfect day 🥺🥺🥺

notchatnoir

ok how early are you willing to wake up

marinettedesigned

:/

not that early

it’s the weekend man

notchatnoir

ok...8h?

marinettedesigned

:/

notchatnoir

9h?

marinettedesigned

:/

notchatnoir

fine 10h

marinettedesigned

11h is the earliest i can do

notchatnoir

:/

marinettedesigned

i’ll bring pastries

notchatnoir

:) ok that’s the perfect time actually

marinettedesigned

i thought so

notchatnoir

ok meet me tomorrow at 11h at the arts et metier station

i’ll be the one in the cat suit 😺

marinettedesigned

LKJSDFKJDFS U BETTER NOT

notchatnoir

jk i will wear something…….normal :)

marinettedesigned

what does that mean

notchatnoir

:)

marinettedesigned

adrien what does that mean

notchatnoir

we should get to bed, see you tomorrow!❤️

marinettedesigned

ADRIEN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

---

 

11:14

marinettedesigned

im gonna kill you

notchatnoir

why :(

ps you’re late. i’ve been waiting for ages

marinettedesigned

adrien if that’s you in the banana suit i REFUSE to come any closer

notchatnoir

what, you don’t find my fashion choices a-peel-ing? 🍌

marinettedesigned

i absolutely do not !!!!!!!

wait. the banana isn’t typing

???

notchatnoir

yeah cause that’s not me lol

it’s mr. banana

did u really think i would wear a banana suit on our metro date

marinettedesigned

idk i wouildnt put it past u!!!

ok what horrifying thing are u actually wearing then

notchatnoir

im just dressed like normal lol

like, jeans and a t shirt

marinettedesigned

why were you being so cryptic then!!!

did you somehow know mr banana was gonna be here

notchatnoir

to mess with u 😌

and no i didnt but that worked out well adskljdfkajlf ty for your services king

marinettedesigned

dude where are you i feel so stupid just standing here asdkfljka

notchatnoir

hang on i see u

turn around

im the one with the ugly bouquet<3

marinettedesigned

blksjfdKJLKFD

ok coming

 

---

 

3 days ago

19:23

notchatnoir

marinette can i ask you something

marinettedesigned

ofc

notchatnoir

ok this might seem like weird or stupid but

nvm

marinettedesigned

no what is it?

notchatnoir

well

i want to bring you to meet my mom

marinettedesigned

what do you mean?

notchatnoir

we have a statue of her in the garden

i go there a lot when im stressed or sad or even just happy

and i talk to her. sometimes i even sing to her

i know that probably sounds silly and weird but i’ve been doing it since i was 14

marinettedesigned

it doesnt sound silly or weird at all

i know how much she means to you

i would love to meet her

tomorrow after school maybe?

notchatnoir

that would be great

thanks

i’ve told her all about you already haha

marinettedesigned

you have?

notchatnoir

yeah

like over the years i’ve told her a lot but especially recently

i just really wish she could know you

marinettedesigned

im really sorry, adrien

notchatnoir

i still miss her so much

marinettedesigned

i know

notchatnoir

i thought after all these years it would be easier

and it is. it’s much easier than it was in the very beginning

and even more since i have you

but having you just reminds me how she’ll never get to see it

like, she wasnt there when we finally told everyone we were soulmates. she wont be there when we move in together, or get married, or have kids, or when we finally beat hawkmoth. she wont be there for any of our christmases or anniversaries or birthdays. or any of it

marinettedesigned

im so so sorry

notchatnoir

before i met you she was the person i loved most in the world and now she’s gone

and i have all this love i want to show her, like, look at this person who i love more than anything, look at this girl who is my soulmate, look who found me, look who chose me

and i cant show her any of it

you’re the most important person in my life and she’ll never know you

marinettedesigned

but i can know her, right?

can you tell me about her?

notchatnoir

yeah, i’d like that

sorry, i dont know why i got so emotional tonight

maybe cause her birthday is coming up soon

marinettedesigned

then we should celebrate

can i bring her a gift?

i’d like to say thank you

for giving me you

notchatnoir

marinette i love you so much

so so so much

marinettedesigned

i know

i love you so much too

and i know that no one could ever replace your mom

but i hope you know that you still have a family here

like me and nino and alya. and my parents

we love you so much too. and we’re gonna take care of you

notchatnoir

thank you

i want to take care of you too

marinettedesigned

you do. you make me feel so loved and happy and full

notchatnoir

you do too

sorry to bring this up and be so heavy haha

we don’t have to keep talking about this

marinettedesigned

adrien, remember what i told you? never apologize for your feelings

it’s okay for you to be sad

it’s like your mom said to you about marcel the snail

you can be sad for as long as you need, and loving someone is never silly, even if theyre not here anymore

i think that loving people is what makes you adrien. cause i’ve never met someone with as big of a heart as you

and i feel so lucky that i get to feel all of it, every bit of your heart

i love it when i can feel your happiness but i want to feel you when you’re sad too, ok?

so when we go to see your mom please dont try to push it away for me

i want to feel it, so i can understand

i want to hold your hand and talk to your mom and feel how much you love her and miss her

so i can love and miss her too

notchatnoir

that means a lot

thank you

marinettedesigned

can you call me? i want to hear some stories about your mom

notchatnoir started a call that lasted 2 hours and 6 minutes.

 

---

 

32 minutes ago

marinettedesigned

tell me something i dont know?

notchatnoir

i have 7 favorite places

marinettedesigned

that’s weirdly specific lol

notchatnoir

Wanna know what they are

marinettedesigned

I guess….if I have to

notchatnoir

1. rue la boétie, because that’s where you literally fell out of the sky and into my life

marinettedesigned

ajsdfaskljf what a meetcute lol

notchatnoir

2. the eiffel tower, because that’s where I fell in love with you the first time

3. the steps of francois dupont, because that’s where we became friends

marinettedesigned

and that’s where I fell in love with you

notchatnoir

yeah<3

4. your balcony, because that’s where you took me in. the first place that really felt like home.

5. the carousel, because that’s where I got the best news of my life

marinettedesigned

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

notchatnoir

6. your bedroom, because that’s where I fell in love with you the second time, and the third time, and the hundred millionth time. and where we had our first kiss (that we could both remember haha). and where we said I love you for the first time. And where we found out we were soulmates. And where you invented tell me something i don’t know and where you held me when I cried and where you forgave me when i screwed up and where you chose me over and over even when it was so hard

marinettedesigned

🥺‼️‼️

wait what’s the 7th one?

notchatnoir

anywhere i am, as long as im with you

marinettedesigned

gonna cry!!!!! 😭😭😭😭

those are all my favorite places too

but i would also add the rooftop where u set up that fancy date

and the spot where we went stargazing

and the roof where we usually end patrol

we’ve had so many good conversations there over the years

notchatnoir

yeah. i love that spot too

k your turn

tmsidk

marinettedesigned

you know that blue scarf that your dad gave you for your 15th bday

notchatnoir

yeah, I still wear it haha

what about it

marinettedesigned

it actually wasn’t from your dad

notchatnoir

uh wym?

marinettedesigned

it was from me

notchatnoir

wait what??

marinettedesigned

i handmade it for you and delivered it to your house but something happened i guess, not sure what

notchatnoir

omg my father probably forgot to get me soemthing and told nathalie to take care of it and then she just used the present that was supposed to be from you

wow ok

marinettedesigned

are you mad?

notchatnoir

yeah how can I not be?? He lied to me! and he stole your gift! And took credit for your work! And he made me think he cared when it was you the whole time

marinettedesigned

ugh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you

notchatnoir

what? Why not?

why didn’t you tell me back then?

marinettedesigned

because you seemed so happy, thinking it was from your dad. And I didn’t want to ruin it

notchatnoir

you wouldn’t ruin it

Marinette you could never ruin anything for me

you have only ever made my life better

and guess what now i love that scarf even more because i know it was from you<333

marinettedesigned

pretty sure I’ve ruined things for you plenty of times lol do you remember when you invited me to that photoshoot a couple years ago and i was trying to flirt with you but i spilled coffee all over your suit and your photographer had a meltdown and they didnt have a backup outfit for you so the photoshoot was shut down and your dad got mad and scheduled you for some other photoshoot the next day so you couldnt come to the movies with us

i felt so bad 😭😭😭

notchatnoir

missing the movies sucked but u guys called me later and gave me a play by play of whole plot and made fun of it and i laughed so hard i nearly peed my pants so it was all good lol

plus that was still the most fun i’ve ever had at a photoshoot bc you were there

marinettedesigned

🥺 why are you so nice to me

notchatnoir

bc i love and cherish u

but also i can be mean if u prefer

Constipation Girl<3

marinettedesigned

skljfklsj no not that again lol

ugh wish u were here rn im cold and i wanna cuddle u

adrien?

did you have to leave?

:////

adriennnnnnn

where did u go :(

come back 😤

this isnt very soulmately of u

 

Tap-tap, tap, tap, tap-tap, tap-tap-tap.

Marinette jumped, head snapping up to the skylight above her. Adrien grinned down through the glass, green eyes bright behind the mask. She dropped her phone and pushed the window open.

“Hey, princess. I’m here to fulfill a request for a cuddle bud—”

She stopped him with a kiss, holding his face in both hands.

He dropped something onto her bed and carefully lowered himself through the window, somehow managing to keep their lips connected. She shivered against the nighttime chill and his summertime warmth shimmering through her.

He paused for just a moment to shut the window behind him, and then his lips were back on hers.

“Claws in,” he breathed. He pressed a hand against the small of her back, where her t-shirt had ridden up, and she felt his gloves disappear, warm fingers spreading over her skin.

“Ugh. Always with the smooching,” came Plagg’s voice.

“There’s camembert on my desk,” Marinette murmured. “Tikki, show him …”

Her hands slid past his ears, fingers twining with gold, while her lips drank him in.

Adrien smiled against her mouth. “You’re always messing up my hair. This is a patented style, you know.”

“So is this.” She pulled back with a grin and dragged her fingers through his hair till it resembled something more like Chat Noir. “There. Perfect.”

“Careful,” he said. “Don’t want to make me too catastrophically sexy. No telling what kind of cosmic disturbance that would create.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “That isn’t even funny anymore.”

He placed a hand on top of hers. “Yes, it is.”

She didn’t bother to stifle her laugh this time—he’d feel it either way.

“Hey, I brought you a present.” He picked up the thing he’d dropped earlier—a box wrapped in pink paper.

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

“Our anniversary. Four months since the day we clicked.”

She blinked. “What?”

“Well, technically it’s tomorrow. I was gonna give it to you after school, but I didn’t want to wait.” He grinned and handed her the box.

“Oh.” Marinette fingered the shiny ribbon. “But I didn’t get you anything. I’m sorry.”

“You just gave me, like, twenty presents for my ‘maybe-birthday’ a few weeks ago.” He nodded at the package. “Go ahead. Open it.”

She tore through the paper. “A … planetarium?”

“Yeah,” Adrien said eagerly. “It’s a projector. It makes it look like there are stars in your room. Here, let me show you.”

He grabbed the box and scooted to the edge of her bed.

“It works best if you put it in the middle of the room,” he explained as he went down the steps. “Wanna bring the blankets down?”

While Adrien set up the planetarium and unplugged her fairy lights, Marinette gathered her bedspread and pillows and pushed them over the edge of her bed, where they landed in a soft heap on the floor. Then she arranged them into a little nest and plopped down in the middle.

Adrien’s hand hovered over light switch. “Ready?”

She nodded, and he switched the lights off.

A soft gasp escaped her. A thousand points of light were suspended around her room, shifting slowly across the ceiling and over the walls. Adrien settled into the blankets beside her, warm against her side, and their fingers found each other automatically. For a moment they just lay there, the silence only broken by the soft hum of the projector.

“I know it’s nothing like the real thing, but I thought it might be cool.” His voice came out as a whisper, like he was trying not to disturb the stars he’d carried in a box across the rooftops just for her.

She turned her head toward him at the same time he did, and his brown-paper smile was waiting for her, caught between shadow and starlight.

“It’s beautiful,” she said. “Thank you.”

“We can go back to see the stars whenever you want. But in the meantime, they’re right here.” He lifted his other hand to cup her face, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone. “They’re always here.”

She watched the stars drift over his skin, and she could feel them drift inside her too. He was a quiet galaxy expanding slowly within her chest, a moonlit tide rising in her blood, and she swelled with every breath to make room for his infinity.

He leaned in to kiss her, and she plunged into his Milky Way ocean.

Marinette used to think love was a meteor—a brilliant streak burning up her sky, a blazing trail she had to catch before it burned out. That’s how it had felt with Adrien, the first time she fell in love. It was dizzying and dazzling and desperate—a love to chase until she was breathless with wanting, a love for dreamers on fire with hope.

Then she thought love was more like the moon—a steady light when everything was dark, a call that pulled her like the tide, a place to hang her wishes and pray they’d last the night. That’s how it had been with Chat Noir, the second time she fell in love. It was strong and steady and safe—a love to cling to during a storm, a love for lost souls bound together.

But now, with both of them put together, she didn’t quite have the words for what loving Adrien was anymore. Every time she thought she’d figured it out, she learned something new about what love could be.

Adrien’s lips slid over hers, his hand cradling the back of her neck, and she shivered.

Love could be meteors and stars and moons, but it could also be cobblestone under her feet—solid ground to meet her wherever she stepped. It could be a river, carving canyons of knowing in her veins. It could be the pages of a book she hadn’t read yet, full of promise and possibility. It could be the rainbow sheen of the soap bubbles that clung to their hands while they washed the dishes—a quiet kind of beauty in a place she didn’t expect. It could be the tease of the wind tickling her neck, the shape of the song that was stuck in her head, the smell of a sunbeam warming her skin.

It could even be a planetarium in a box, a portable galaxy to speckle them with stars no matter where they were.

She knew now that it wasn’t just one thing, but everything at once. It came in every shape and flavor and color, and Adrien taught her how to savor every one. In every possible way there was to love, he loved her, and she felt it all—here, now, seeping into all her cracks, till she was so full of it that she could taste it in her lungs, till it soaked into her bones and made her new again.

They broke apart, breaths heavy and slow, and she knew he could feel it, that she didn’t have to say it, but the saying was important, so she did.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.” He pulled closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Tell me something I don’t know?”

She listened to his heartbeat through his t-shirt—a song she knew now like she’d written it herself. It was strange, almost. How nothing had changed except everything. She could hardly remember what loneliness felt like anymore, couldn’t recall the sensation of aching. She knew what a wish was but it didn’t feel wistful. It was real now—a thing she could hold with both of her hands, and it was Adrien under her fingers, Adrien between her breaths and Adrien inside every heartbeat.

“I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I can barely remember it now,” she said softly.

“Remember what?”

“What it felt like. To be … anything but this.”

His fingers trailed across her back, leaving goosebumps under her t-shirt. “I know what you mean.”

“It’s weird that we used to be so sad all the time. It’s weird that we didn’t know. Like, that this is what it would all lead to.”

“But who knows where else it will lead,” Adrien said. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe tomorrow you’ll find someone even more catastrophically sexy than me and we’ll have to break up.”

“Im-paw-sible.”

“What are the odds, do you think?”

“Negative one billion,” she said.

Then she kissed him again, with her lungs full of stars, until all she could taste was coconut lip balm, and Adrien.

Notes:

If you’re reading this note, THANK YOU!! Really. For real. Some of you have been here since the beginning, which absolutely blows my mind. Thanks for sticking through 14 months and 120k words and 20 reveal fakeouts and that bit in the middle where I didn’t update for 3 months lol. Thanks for keeping up with updates and binge reading all day to catch up. Thanks for your kudos and comments and nice Tumblr asks. Thanks for including me on rec lists and even drawing scenes from the fic 😭😭😭 omg!! Overall, thanks for your kindness and patience and encouragement. It honestly means so much to me.

Not to be really tacky and sappy on main lol but this fic is the by far the biggest writing project I’ve ever completed, both in terms of word count and time. Writing can be a painfully slow and laborious process for me and I had to put many hours into each chapter, so it’s a pretty big personal accomplishment to actually finish it. And I don’t think I could’ve done it without all of you. Thank you thank you thank you 💜💜💜

And very special thanks to my sister Morgan, who listened to me blabber about this story SO much and talked me through the hangups and beta read nearly every update and encouraged me to go for it in the first place! Also shout out to my dear friends annascribs and abbysue, who gave me endless encouragement and listened to me vent when I was frustrated with writing. I love you sisters!!!!

P.S. If you are looking for another sadcore marichat story, I highly recommend abby’s fic the way I loved you….it’s my fav wip and it lives in my mind rent free!! And maybe I kind of ripped off it for certain scenes/lines of tms who’s to say….. :)

Ok it’s time to get off my soapbox bc this is getting embarrassing but THANKS AGAIN, mwah love you all<3