Chapter Text
Seonghwa wakes up with Hongjoong’s drool on his arm.
The light is lusterless inside their hotel suite, the embroidered curtains in the windows thick enough to repel a bullet, and Hongjoong’s groans glide in formation with Seonghwa’s.
He doesn’t have a clue what day of the week it is, he could even be wrong about what month they’re in. All Seonghwa knows is that he and Hongjoong will be departing Japan tomorrow, flying off to an undecided destination.
“I feel like someone landed an airplane on me,” Hongjoong says with a breath as thin as thread.
“Is that good or bad,” Seonghwa questions.
He wipes his arm off on the bed sheets, and through his own drowsy pair he watches Hongjoong blink his eyes open.
“It’s oddly good. I slept very well.”
“That’s good. Good morning, pumpkin.”
“Oh my god,” Hongjoong grumbles.
“What? It was between pumpkin or sugar pie, which one do you prefer?” Seonghwa says, following a yawn. “Hongie pie is an option as well.”
Yesterday, it was ‘honey bear’.
“Stop,” Hongjoong whines, but there’s an illumination in his voice, and he nuzzles into Seonghwa’s chest with a submitted force. “…I like both those names….”
“What ever happened to that cardigan I left with you at Wooyoung’s place.”
Seonghwa lets this random thought run free, and he proceeds to play with Hongjoong’s disheveled hair.
“Oh, I still have it, it’s in my suitcase.”
Today, their plans consist of going out to Ni-Chome with San and Wooyoung, staying overnight at Wooyoung’s place, and with San and Wooyoung’s moral support, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are going to book a last-minute flight after deciding where they want to take off for next.
Seonghwa does have a decent amount of money saved up, but he will need to return home, eventually. He needs a job and he still needs to pay rent whether he’s in town or not. He definitely doesn’t want to drop out on Yunho and leave him to find a new place or a new roommate.
Seonghwa is a little stressed, because his needs conflict with Hongjoong’s needs, but he’s trying not to be doubtful, he’s trying to narrow his focus on simply relaxing with Hongjoong on their final full day in this fancy-ass hotel, he wants to have faith that everything will work itself out.
“Oh okay,” Seonghwa replies.
Hongjoong yawns. “I wore it around Wooyoung’s apartment a lot, it’s nice. I guess I should give it back huh.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Seonghwa says, now kneading slow circles around the dimples on Hongjoong’s lower back.
“Do you need it for something?”
“No, not really,” Seonghwa smirks.
They sit up in bed, still cozy under the covers, and they drink the shitty complimentary hotel room coffee. It’s a 5-star hotel, sure, but instant coffee can only be so magical.
“Tell me about that night,” Seonghwa says, after burning his tongue a bit on the hot beverage.
Hongjoong glances at him. “That night?”
“The night I met you.”
“Wooyoung kicked me out because I have this habit of being annoying. He was studying,” Hongjoong explains.
“You’re not annoying.”
“I don’t know, I think I’m pretty annoying.”
Hongjoong prods at Seonghwa’s waist until Seonghwa is squirming from how much it undeniably tickles.
“Do you want to be annoying or something?” Seonghwa gripes, very clearly amused.
“Maybe. Maybe I want you to punish me,” Hongjoong whispers in Seonghwa’s ear, his chin placed atop Seonghwa’s shoulder.
Seonghwa blinks. “That- that’s a thought.”
“Anyways, Woo banished me,” Hongjoong goes on to recount. “I didn’t want to feel anything. Or I wanted to feel something, I don’t know.”
“I went to some really sus clubs, and I didn’t feel particularly safe there alone, so I left. I was being really good and whenever someone tried to buy me a drink I told them that I could do that for myself and I felt really powerful,” Hongjoong says, “until I met you.”
Seonghwa studies Hongjoong’s profile. His silhouette could inspire literature, sculptures, artworks of all kinds.
“I really wanted the chance to speak with you, and stuff… and I noticed you with San, which made me curious because I know San from Woo,” Hongjoong continues. “So I wondered who you were and why you were so hot. The end.”
“Wow, romantic,” Seonghwa murmurs. “You don’t even remember the rest of the night do you.”
“Of course I remember our first night together! And afterwards, you sat with me outside, and I didn’t wanna leave.”
“Really?”
Hongjoong nods his head vigorously. “Yeah! Why didn’t you take me back to your hotel with you and hold me all night?”
“I- I could tell that you wouldn’t be into that, or that… it seemed like that wasn’t exactly what you were wanting.”
Hongjoong offers Seonghwa a sad little smile.
“What’s your side of the story…?” he asks Seonghwa, then taking a sip of his drink.
“I didn’t care about anything until I saw you.”
This wipes the smile clean off of Hongjoong’s face, and it’s replaced by a jeweled blush, as he can do nothing but stare back at Seonghwa.
And Seonghwa keeps their eyes locked, and he leans in, and he does so hesitantly, and he kisses Hongjoong languidly.
“…Oh- about San… would you be okay sharing some details with him?” Seonghwa mentions carefully, after their resisting lips part ways. “San is ready to beat ass for you.”
“Oh, I didn’t know he thought of me in those ways,” Hongjoong says, sounding dazed, as high as a kite.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, he’s ready to legitimately taekwondo kick Chul’s crusty ass straight to hell. He has like, a gold belt in taekwondo or whatever.”
Good-naturedly, Hongjoong giggles at this, and then sighs.
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt… I just want him to leave me alone.”
“The only ass that’s getting smashed soon is yours, by the way,” Hongjoong adds after a moment of quietude.
Seonghwa gulps, as unobtrusively as he can muster. “You… you’re quite the morning person, aren’t you.”
Hongjoong crinkles his nose playfully and bites at Seonghwa’s ear.
“…Um, now…?” Seonghwa asks, every fiber of his being turning warmer all of a sudden.
“No not yet, I’m nervous, I’ve never done it before….”
Hongjoong is looking down at his lap, his small hands clasped around his mug.
“Oh okay, don’t worry about it, whenever- whenever you’re ready,” Seonghwa assures him.
It isn’t long at all before Hongjoong is eyeing Seonghwa’s arousal underneath the covers, and Seonghwa can’t help but notice this, and can’t help his face from flushing colorfully either.
“Why do you always look at my dick like you’re hungry,” he says.
Hongjoong sets his mug on the bedside table, and promptly rolls over until he’s lying on his stomach in between Seonghwa’s legs.
“Because you’re so perfect for me,” he practically sings.
“That answer made no sense but I’ll accept it,” Seonghwa replies.
“…You’re kinda hard, Seonghwa… can I touch you?”
After Seonghwa nods his approval, and after pawing at Seonghwa’s cock still concealed beneath the bedding, Hongjoong remains on his stomach, scooches forward, pulls the covers down, and he mouths at and sucks on Seonghwa’s cock.
“…Please use me?” Hongjoong exhales after a few minutes gone by. His lips are glistening.
“Listen I know you don’t have a gag reflex, great job, but I still don’t want to hurt you,” Seonghwa moans, panting mildly with eyelids heavy.
Hongjoong just about begs Seonghwa, so Seonghwa fucks Hongjoong’s face, letting Hongjoong off to breathe every few seconds, and Hongjoong uses those breaks to spout off about how he really likes Seonghwa’s big fat cock, and other such things along those lines. He swallows Seonghwa’s cum, and licks around his lips, not letting anything escape.
While Seonghwa is trying to recover from catapulting directly into heaven’s gates, Hongjoong gives a kiss to the tip of Seonghwa’s cock and rests his head on Seonghwa’s thigh with a floaty grin, and it’s far too cute for what he just did.
Biting his lower lip, Hongjoong screws his eyes shut and starts humping the bed.
Seonghwa rolls his eyes, but speaks in a gentle voice.
“Baby let me help you.”
Hongjoong ends up sitting in front of Seonghwa facing him, lying down on his back, and Seonghwa multitasks in between Hongjoong’s legs, fingering Hongjoong’s ass and jerking Hongjoong’s cock at the same time.
Hongjoong almost kicks Seonghwa accidentally a couple of times, the butterfly wings on his hip bones dancing. He’s writhing around, toes curled, both his hands fisting onto the bedcovers, and Seonghwa thinks that it’s got to be one of the most glorious sights.
Seonghwa keeps his vocalizing low and calm, telling Hongjoong that he’s lovely, that he completes Seonghwa, that his body is a masterpiece, which has Hongjoong arching his back and swooping through climax, most likely jolting awake everyone in the hotel who wasn’t already up and trying to enjoy their own mediocre cups of coffee.
Seonghwa wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if everyone on this floor of the building knows his name by now.
Hongjoong lies there captured in bliss, and Seonghwa finds himself bending forward and sprinkling kisses all along Hongjoong’s legs. Which isn’t something that Seonghwa would typically do with a casual hookup, definitely not something he’d feel inclined to do to just anybody. Hongjoong is not just anybody. He never was to begin with.
Seonghwa will clean Hongjoong up in a minute, he really will, he just wants to revel in this for a while longer. Hongjoong’s thighs are so soft, they’re doughy and sweet.
“Did that feel good beautiful,” Seonghwa mumbles on Hongjoong’s skin.
“…Mhm, you make me feel good… you make me happy.”
Happy.
Happy.
Happiness.
Seonghwa just permits his mind to swish and swirl. This feeling is the creamer in his bitter coffee.
“There’s somewhere I wanna take you today, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says unexpectedly.
“Hm…?” Seonghwa croons, slowly wading his way out of his stupor.
“…You took me somewhere special, so I wanna take you somewhere, too.”
After more cuddles, showering, and getting dressed and ready, Seonghwa and Hongjoong step out into a blue-sky day.
A speedy train ride later has the two of them standing right outside of busy Akihabara Station, where they played hide-and-seek in the rain, where Seonghwa stole sinful glances over his parents’ shoulders, where Hongjoong found safety beneath Seonghwa’s umbrella, where the lights in the reflection on the streets blinded them and made them fall head over heels.
Seonghwa gawks at the entrance of the Gundam Cafe with stars in his eyes.
“Hwa, before we go inside-”
“Huh?” Seonghwa interrupts, whipping his head around frantically to peer at Hongjoong.
“I’m sorry for that one day- or, I think it was two days? How I made fun of you and your Gundams… I was completely joking, and trying to flirt, or something….”
“I’m sorry about it,” Hongjoong concludes. “Nobody should be ridiculed for their hobby.”
“Oh. Thank you. I didn’t even think of it that way though, it’s okay,” Seonghwa says, not even sure what to say about any of this, unconvinced that it’ll be possible for him to thank Hongjoong enough for taking him here.
Hongjoong’s lips are set in a little circle.
“You’re so whipped for me it didn’t even bother you?”
Seonghwa sputters. “I’m- I’m not-”
But he stops himself, because damn that couldn’t be any closer to the whole truth.
“Didn’t you tell me just two days ago, very dramatically in the rain, that you would do anything for me?” Hongjoong says with an impish smile, and he tilts his dewy face upward, pulling at Seonghwa’s belt loops out in broad daylight.
“Y-Yes,” Seonghwa surrenders. “And I meant it, too.”
It isn’t too terribly occupied inside, they’re seated right away, and they keep their legs braided together underneath the table as they look over the cleverly-themed menu.
Television screens are playing all of the opening theme songs of the Gundam anime series throughout the years on loop, and Seonghwa’s headspace is a beehive as he admires all of the details in the interior of the restaurant.
Hongjoong now has an elbow propped up on the tabletop, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he watches the screen nearest to their table.
“So, who are the robots fighting?”
Seonghwa’s eyes widen. He begins to explain everything before Hongjoong can say sike.
Hongjoong listens while Seonghwa rambles, and he hums in interest with very soft eyes and a sweet grin. Seonghwa feels like his heart might burst. He trips over his words a few times because Hongjoong looks so intent, and very pretty.
It’s really nice, sitting down at a restaurant with Hongjoong. It’s so electrifying, taking in Hongjoong’s expressions in this new light.
He’s different, this isn’t the same HJ. This is so different. Seonghwa can’t imagine them doing this a week ago, or two weeks ago. Hongjoong’s attitude would’ve been very dissimilar. Seonghwa would’ve had to bribe Hongjoong to make this dream come true, or Hongjoong, unable to process his feelings, would’ve hissed in Seonghwa’s ear, conjuring up some suggestive fantasies in order to keep them both surface-bound, distracted, casual.
Hongjoong looks so cute today in his denim overalls and tie-dye shirt. Seonghwa wants to show him off to the whole world. Seonghwa wants to give Hongjoong a bouquet of flowers.
They settle on ordering an omurice dish and a cheeseburger and fries to share.
Hongjoong is groaning about how his tummy is going to pop after they demolish their lunch, but Seonghwa still has room left for the charming desserts that they order as well. He almost starts clapping his hands when their waitress brings out a tray topped with a very photogenic almond and lychee jelly fruit parfait, and a citrus mango ice cream float.
Seonghwa does make sure to take plenty of pictures of their meal, and he also takes a mirror selca in the restroom because it’s decorated like the inside of a Gundam pilot cockpit, complete with mecha launching sound effects when the toilet flushes.
Seonghwa is pretty sure that he’ll never complain about anything ever again, and it takes him nearly an hour to cool down after Hongjoong pays for their entire bill.
While they’re out, they do some shopping.
They grab some supplies with the intention to touch-up their hair. Hongjoong wants to bleach his roots and fix his pink, and Seonghwa wants to stick with his black too, because Hongjoong says that he looks handsome.
They also purchase two new suitcases for all of the shit they bought over the course of their stays here in Tokyo.
Seonghwa loves this, being out with Hongjoong, browsing through the stores, holding his hand unashamed because the both of them don’t give a fuck.
When they make it back to Ginza, they tidy up in their hotel. Hongjoong texts San, thanks him for his concern, and provides him with some brief insight on what he’s been dealing with. Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong figured that it would be good for him to do that now, before the four of them meet up later tonight.
The day is moving quickly, and they find themselves listening to music in the bathroom, painting each other’s hair yet again, and laughing almost more than they’re simply breathing.
Now that Seonghwa is aware that Hongjoong has an inheritance, he really doesn’t understand why Hongjoong hasn’t just searched up a nice hair salon here in Tokyo to get his color done professionally. All of this effort is comical almost, and humble.
Maybe Hongjoong enjoys the process, more so than the results.
()()()()()()()()
Seonghwa and Hongjoong check out of the hotel with fingers crossed that they’ll get to live this luxuriously again someday. They bow and smile a lot as they part ways with the front desk, praying that by some miracle the employees don’t remember them chasing each other through the lobby and walking around the premises half-naked and wet the other day.
It’s legitimate exercise, rolling all of their heavy suitcases down the streets and through the train stations.
They dump their stuff in Wooyoung’s tiny apartment.
San was the one who very jovially greeted them at the door, and Wooyoung is now shuffling into the living room with one side of his eyeliner done, wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He embraces Hongjoong and teeters him back and forth.
“I missed you bub. Was this Seonghwa fellow a gentleman? I’ll kick his really hot ass all the way to the darkest part of the moon if he’s unkind to you.”
“Yes, Hwa was very good to me,” Hongjoong mumbles, and he buries his face in the crook of Wooyoung’s neck.
This makes Seonghwa blush, and Wooyoung gives him a toothy smile from over Hongjoong’s shoulder.
San has his arms snaked around Seonghwa’s waist in a warm hug as he’s watching Wooyoung and Hongjoong fondly. “Which one of you is the hyung, I’m so confused,” he says jokingly.
The four of them spend some time getting hyped and dolled up before they head out in search of ear-splitting music and affordable drinks.
There’s an unknown in the jarring city sky and in the footsteps of his friends through these dusky narrow lanes, and it’s making Seonghwa nostalgic for something that he’s not even acquainted with, something that he’s a stranger to.
It’s a lively Thursday evening in Ni-Chome, everywhere smells of cigarettes, and each quaint business front looks like it might lead into an alternate universe.
So far, Wooyoung has been making sure that they don’t drink too much, which apparently is unusual for him, but honestly, none of them need the alcohol to have a good time.
They’re having the time of their lives now that no weird air or barriers are between any of them. They’re united by common bonds here, their togetherness in and of itself is adrenalizing, and dancing with one another feels like the greatest escape, the best case scenario. This particular pounding of the bass in the club that they’re in now is reminding Seonghwa of what his pulse is like every time he says Hongjoong’s name.
Hongjoong seems to really appreciate the night out. His smile is a sunrise, his laughter is the end of a rainbow fading into the glassy part of the atmosphere.
Seonghwa can’t recall what it feels like to be tired.
The track of his mind that never stops thinking about the future is currently pondering where Hongjoong will want to run away to next. Will he want to hide in another screaming metropolis, or will he want to hide at the foothills of a mountain near castle ruins. He’ll probably want to consider places by the sea.
Will Hongjoong really let Seonghwa take care of him? Will Hongjoong bless Seonghwa with his trust and let him take part in his grand adventure. Seonghwa is falling harder and faster, how is he supposed to name even one country on the map when he’s already holding the entire world in his arms.
Seonghwa is just tipsy enough to feel how truly damn smitten he is. He feels really exposed up here at the height of his emotions. He keeps running his hands along Hongjoong’s body from behind, he keeps leaning down and kissing the nape of Hongjoong’s neck.
“Boys we need to stay hydrated!”
San is leading the pack when they tumble out of the club for some fresh air.
“Perfect, there’s a vending machine with water bottles right over there,” Wooyoung responds.
“No silly, I’m thirsty,” San gushes, giving Wooyoung a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Let’s go to EAGLE they have the best drinks!”
And that’s exactly what they set off to do.
When they make it down the street to EAGLE, where Seonghwa and Hongjoong shared their first drinks together, they wiggle in through the crowd and find a semi-secluded corner to mingle in.
A guy approaches them pretty early on, which is annoying as fuck, especially given the fact that he’s looking very pointedly at Hongjoong.
“Oh my god….”
It isn’t until Hongjoong says this, with an instant distress lining his vocal cords, that Seonghwa apprehends the sudden unease hanging in the space between them and this man.
Wooyoung, though, doesn’t really look alarmed like the rest of them, just downcast.
“Hongjoong…?” Seonghwa says, quiet yet wary, not taking his eyes off of this guy.
“…I know him…,” Hongjoong explains vaguely, and just as timidly.
This can’t be good.
The man, gaunt and donning a newsboy cap, reaches out for Hongjoong’s arm, and Hongjoong flinches and recoils.
“Don’t touch him,” Seonghwa utters hoarsely.
This only seems to amuse the guy. “Who’s this, Angel?”
“Don’t call him that,” Seonghwa says.
It’s cold, all of a sudden; really cold. Did someone turn on the aircon? Did someone swap the seasons. Hongjoong is noticeably shivering next to Seonghwa.
“Why not,” the guy sneers.
“Because he’s not an angel.”
Except he is. Hongjoong has been an angel for Seonghwa when he needed one most. Fuck Chul for soiling that perfect term of endearment.
Chul….
The corners of this guy’s face twist up into a smirk. “But I heard that’s his name.”
“His name is also Princess.”
This voice belongs to a different man who seemingly materializes out of nowhere, and he saunters right up to their group, all the while gazing at Hongjoong with a stale malice, a nightmare’s infatuation.
“I missed you, Angel,” he says to Hongjoong.
Hongjoong appears petrified.
“…G-Great- I can add another thing to the list… stalker… y-you’re a stalker,” Hongjoong stammers, and he’s pressing himself further now into Seonghwa’s side.
“What’s this list you speak of? Makes me sound important,” the man jibes, and he’s much taller, much more built, and there’s something unsettling in his posture.
Wooyoung releases a noise of deep sorrow. “He threatened me Hong I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry-”
Hongjoong looks appalled, horrified as he connects the dots; this person found his best friend and terrorized information out of him.
Seonghwa feels absolutely awful for Wooyoung, that he had no choice but to hide this. San has his arms wrapped around Wooyoung, and they’re all positivity glowering now at this man who is unmistakably Chul.
“…You’re fucking insane… get some fucking help… and leave me and my friends the fuck alone, I don’t want you in my life anymore!”
It really sounds like something that Hongjoong might not have been able to say if he didn’t have Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and San with him.
“Declined.”
Chul’s utterance comes out so effortlessly, dripping from his mouth, sliding down the designer leather of his jacket, mingling with his putrid cologne; things he bought with Hongjoong’s money.
Hongjoong doesn’t care about money. He cares about the simple things in life. He’s precious. How dare someone take advantage of him like this. Seonghwa is fuming.
“Listen motherfucker he’s trying to tell you how he feels, you can’t just decline that,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Another Korean…?” Chul inquires. “And who the fuck are you, pretty boy? You some K-pop idol here on tour? Should I be down on my knees? Begging for your autograph? Begging for your dick? Listening to you or something?”
“F-Fuck off,” Hongjoong tells Chul, and then he turns in towards Seonghwa. “Hwa don’t get involved.”
“How could I not get involved,” Seonghwa hisses in great concern.
“…Who the fuck are you and why are you looking at my Princess like that,” Chul rasps, and he shifts perilous eyes back and forth between Hongjoong and Seonghwa.
“He’s my boyfriend.”
Hongjoong asserts it with quite impressive stability, and Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and San’s jaws are on the floor. San’s gasp is powerful enough to suck all of the oxygen out of the compact establishment even though he’s still the least informed out of all of them.
Chul, however, just tilts his head, with his mouth ajar, smiling a perplexed smile.
Hongjoong inhales the most courageous breath he can find.
“I don’t like it when you call me those names, it fucks with my head…. I’ve told you that I don’t want to be with you so many times but you won’t listen…,” he says in a small voice.
Chul lifts an eyebrow. “So you ran away, so that I could come chasing you? That’s actually pretty hot….”
The salacious lookover that Chul gives Hongjoong has Seonghwa’s stomach churning hot lava.
“You’re not chasing after me you’re chasing after my money,” Hongjoong blurts out.
Chul ignores Hongjoong, but his face twitches ever so slightly.
“Sweetheart, you don’t seem to understand that splitting up is something that the both of us would need to decide on, and I’m politely declining.”
“And,” Chul goes on, “I’m politely asking for this guy to remove himself from the situation before I get angry… oh wait, what did you say his name was, Wooyoung? You said it was Seonghwa or something like that, right?”
Wooyoung appears to be nauseous, he looks like he’s going to cry. Seonghwa places a tender hand on Wooyoung’s arm to let him know that it’s okay, it’s okay and none of this is his fault.
It’s apparent that Wooyoung’s mouth is dry. “So, Hongjoong, want me to call the authorities now, because this shit is fucked up.”
Hongjoong whimpers, he’s panicking.
“Why won’t you listen why won’t you listen,” he begs Chul.
“Listen?” Chul grimaces. “Listen to what, I am listening.”
“Stop gaslighting me,” Hongjoong sobs.
Chul reaches out, ready to stroke Hongjoong’s burning cheek.
“You’re so pretty when you cry….”
Reflexively, Seonghwa slaps Chul’s arm away.
“Fuck- don’t touch him-”
Chul shoves Seonghwa’s shoulder, rather viciously, in return. This seems to catch the attention of a few patrons close by, sitting at the bar, just trying to peacefully bask in their evening out.
“Hey little bitch, you don’t touch him. Have you touched him, have you been running your girly-ass hands all over him, you been sticking your tongue up his ass and bending him over every day, you been fucking his ass?”
Chul darts his eyes from Seonghwa to Hongjoong.
“Is this who you were doing a video call with, when you had your fingers up your own ass?”
Hongjoong’s expression collapses.
He’s downright benumbed, he shrinks back, and he sniffles his nose.
“W… What… how did you see that… what the fuck… what the fuck….”
“Angel have you been cheating on me?” Chul asks, and he’s smiling in certainty of already knowing the answer.
Chul wets his lips, takes a step closer, which makes Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and San tense up even more so, and he lowers his voice.
“…You didn’t need to run off, you didn’t need to be such a little whore…. Remember all of our promises? I intend to keep them. You need me, Angel.”
Hongjoong has tears streaming down his face.
Seonghwa knows that no one will hold him back if he lunges at this sick fuck right about now. Every word that has fallen out of this man’s mouth is just so starkly repulsive. Seonghwa is trying really hard not to think about the fact that, once upon a time, this mouth had been in contact with Hongjoong’s.
Chul glares at Seonghwa through bloodshot eyes.
“Pretty boy his ass is mine.”
At this point, Wooyoung really does say fuck this shit I’m out to go make a call.
Seonghwa’s heart rate is off the charts. His brain is brawling to stay up to speed with the current moment. Wooyoung is actually stepping outside to call the authorities. The authorities are going to show up, and there’s an actual psycho here trying to hurt Hongjoong, he’s already hurt Hongjoong, so fucking much.
“Wow, okay, well fuck you, fuck you, his heart sure as fuck doesn’t belong to you, his name is Hongjoong and he’s more than an ass, you ass.”
Seonghwa is shaking, he can’t articulate, he has so much to say.
The pendant on the chain around Chul’s neck catches Seonghwa’s eye, it looks familiar somehow.
Has Seonghwa seen it in a dream? A story? Real life?
Abruptly, Seonghwa feels as though he just had the wind knocked out of him. He peers back up at Chul’s face, and everything clicks.
“You….”
I feel stupid for wearing a skirt….
Seonghwa is shaking his head slowly, in disbelief, in dread.
“You were on the train… that night… you touched my sister on the train… Hongjoong he’s been here this whole ti-”
Seonghwa is on the floor. He’s blinking up at the ceiling and he’s on the floor.
There’s an incredible pain in his jaw, and he hears screaming.
Hongjoong’s voice is somewhere in here, and it sounds like he’s trying to find a place to run away to and hide, a place where he can bring Seonghwa with him.
It’s finally Seonghwa’s chance to kick this fucker’s ass, but reality is reminding him that he really would prefer not to land himself in a full-on bar fight. This is the first time in Seonghwa’s life that he has ever considered acting out in violence.
Seonghwa wants to punch this son of a fucking bitch so badly but he doesn’t want to get arrested. If he punches back, will it just be considered as self-defense? What would happen to him when the cops arrive? Seonghwa doesn’t know. This moment could make or break a lot of things. Ultimately, he wants to make sure that he’s on an airplane with Hongjoong tomorrow when Hongjoong needs to leave the country by midnight. That’s the priority, going with Hongjoong to wherever his wings take him next.
San is doing his absolute best to break up the fight, but he’s also very clearly trying to stay out of actual combat. Chul’s henchman is struggling to deter San while Chul kicks Seonghwa like a football.
Seonghwa lies there and takes it and shields his face with his arms to the best of his ability, because he refuses to get arrested, and also because he’s most likely in shock and he’s not very confident that he’ll be able to stand up on his feet right now. He thinks his nose is broken. On the roof of his mouth there’s the taste of blood.
Seonghwa doesn’t know where Hongjoong is right now, although he thinks he sees him tugging at Chul’s jacket, there’s someone small trying to bite Chul’s hand. Seonghwa sees a couple of people, maybe the bartenders, desperately trying to pull Chul away with little success, and Seonghwa’s head is racing; what if another one of Chul’s underlings sneaks in through the shadows and takes Hongjoong away.
The next thing Seonghwa perceives, through fluttering eyelids wincing in pain, is a pocket-knife in Chul’s hand, and Seonghwa gulps past a surge of fright.
The look on Chul’s face is disturbing, is disgusting. Seonghwa cannot believe that Hongjoong had ever been alone with this monster. This bona fide monster.
This is when everything stops.
The shouting has ceased, and Seonghwa now hears the buzzing of a general assortment of voices, most likely from people in the bar who were standing by and watching the fight.
It hurts to keep his eyes open. The lights on the ceiling are scrutinizing.
A man in uniform is crouching down, hovering over Seonghwa, saying something in Japanese. The officer appears somewhat compassionate, not accusatory. Seonghwa wonders how fucked-up his face looks. Seonghwa has a whole body and yet Chul really seemed resolved on beating in Seonghwa’s face the most.
Seonghwa lies still, and hopes with all his might that the bartenders and everyone and all of these drunk people are defending him.
Soon enough, he hears Wooyoung.
Wooyoung, in a delirious type of relief, is telling Seonghwa that Chul has been arrested for assault and possession of illegal drugs.
Medics are here now too, to check Seonghwa’s condition and to treat his wounds.
The aftermath is not as bad as it feels. One of his eyes is bruising already, he still has all of his teeth but his lip is busted, his head didn’t hit the floor too severely. He’s pretty damn conscious and aware of the shitshow that just went down, he’s just in shock.
Seonghwa is gathering that pain relievers and ice packs should suffice.
“…Where is Hongjoong… where is Hongjoong….”
Seonghwa hears the voice of an angel.
“I’m right h-here H-Hwa, Hwa I’m right here.”
Hongjoong is standing nearby, off to the side, with San and Wooyoung sandwiching him, enfolding him. His eyes are red and puffy, his mouth a sad little frown.
Seonghwa didn’t even realize that he himself had said anything out loud.
He gazes at Hongjoong. He needs to hold Hongjoong immediately.
The medics help Seonghwa stand to his feet, then assist him to sit down at the nearest bar stool. As soon as they’re finished seeing to Seonghwa, Hongjoong comes hobbling over.
“You r-rescued me, I love y-you,” he cries, and a miniature gasp slips past the hand that he slaps over his mouth, as he’s registering what he just said. “Oh shit- fuck- I’m sorry-”
Does Hongjoong mean that? Seonghwa will feel like a fool if he confesses his love in return and Hongjoong didn’t actually mean it. But what if Hongjoong actually means it, and Seonghwa doesn’t say it back. Seonghwa is probably making this out to be far more complicated than it needs to be but he’s undergoing both a profound headache and heartache and he can’t think clearly.
“I got punched to the floor and had the shit kicked out of me, how is that rescuing you?” he says, his heart thwacking aggressively.
“…It could’ve been m-me instead… it could’ve been me instead… if he would’ve found me alone, I wouldn’t have been able to defend myself.”
The thought makes Seonghwa feel ill.
“I will never let him touch you, never again, Hongjoong.”
Lifting a trembling hand, Seonghwa uses his thumb to wipe the tears on Hongjoong’s cheek, and Hongjoong brings his own hands up, placing his fingers atop Seonghwa’s, and he keeps the side of his face right there.
Wooyoung, San, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong apologize to the bartenders and staff. They bow as they exit the bar. It is admittedly embarrassing, having so many curious eyes on them under these circumstances.
Both San and Wooyoung are being a great comfort as they’re all walking along, shoulder-to-shoulder, paddling through the dark with caution. The two of them are rubbing Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s backs, humming sweet words and uplifting phrases.
Hongjoong is apologizing excessively, which leads to the upsetting discovery that, as the victim, Hongjoong truthfully feels responsible for all of this.
“I’m scared… does Chul still think that me and him are boyfriends?”
Seonghwa is heartbroken, hearing this. It’s been so difficult for Hongjoong to know what Chul thinks, and it still is, Chul has deliberately made it to be this way.
It’s suddenly dawning on Seonghwa that this is not going to be an easy or simple thing for Hongjoong to heal from. Chul behind bars, temporarily or permanently, isn’t going to fix things overnight. This is going to take time and effort and care and Seonghwa is going to have to step up and be the best version of himself in order to help the most precious person to him; his treasure.
Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and San trade downtrodden looks.
When they return safely to Wooyoung’s place, they scoot the couch and coffee table out of the way in the living room, and they lay out futons.
Wooyoung brews some tea, and he, Hongjoong, and San dote on Seonghwa and make sure that he’s comfortable.
They end up snuggling together in a pile in their pajamas, with Hongjoong and Wooyoung in the middle.
Seonghwa’s rib cage aches. The medics didn’t think that anything was broken, but it sure feels like it. Hongjoong’s hand is up Seonghwa’s shirt, gently massaging his chest.
The four of them just lie there.
“…Are you guys into any freaky shit?” San says in a hushed little voice.
“No, we’re actually pretty boring,” Seonghwa replies flatly as he’s resting his eyes.
“Yeah, we really are, actually,” Hongjoong agrees, sounding faraway.
“No blindfolds?” San asks incredulously. “Vibrating butt plugs? Spanking paddles? Handcuffs? Nipple clamps?”
“Um? No we don’t really… accessorize,” Seonghwa says.
San tuts and clicks his tongue but he does so lovingly.
“Well you guys did just meet. Give it time. You have an entire kinky journey ahead of you.”
“Sanni!” Wooyoung scolds, and there’s a squeak in his laugh.
“I’m trying to give life advice! Wisdom like this doesn’t usually come free.”
Seonghwa peeks at Hongjoong.
“Um, Hongjoong, is it okay if we’re talking about this stuff…?”
After seeing Chul in the flesh tonight, Seonghwa wouldn’t be surprised if any traumatic memories might be on the surface of Hongjoong’s mind.
San looks repentant right away. “Oh shit- I’m so wild- I’m really sorry-”
“No it’s okay.”
Hongjoong actually giggles quietly following this, and the sound is reassuring.
Something makes Seonghwa’s last remaining brain cell think about the fishnets.
That was one hell of a way to accessorize. Just the recollection itself is enough to get Seonghwa half-hard. Not to mention Hongjoong’s wayward hand, that has now traveled down more towards Seonghwa’s lower abdominals.
“Um, nevermind I lied. Hongjoong wore- uh, fishnets one time,” Seonghwa mumbles, to which both San and Wooyoung raise their eyebrows and stare at him with owlish eyes.
“Yeah, but Hwa destroyed them so I can’t wear them again,” Hongjoong pouts.
“Hwa did what now?” Wooyoung says.
“Well first off, he finished on them- he lasted maybe two minutes. And then he clawed at them and ripped-”
“I’ll buy you new ones!” Seonghwa squawks as San is cackling at Hongjoong’s story.
“Fishnets are such a cute idea Hongie I wanna try that,” San coos.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” Hongjoong replies simply.
Seonghwa and Wooyoung exchange looks. They’re both blushing more than either of them are willing to admit.
“You are pretty,” Wooyoung says.
Seonghwa clears his throat, very ready to turn the attention off of him and Hongjoong.
“Please don’t tell me that you guys do that stuff where you like, slap each other’s dicks or something,” he says.
San and Wooyoung are hollering at this and they don’t provide any direct answers.
The two of them eventually take their leave to go sleep in Wooyoung’s room.
As soon as they turn the lights out in the living room, Hongjoong is crying, for so many things. Namely, guilt and fear.
Seonghwa kisses Hongjoong all over his face, and asks him if he wants to keep the lights on.
He just cries, and Seonghwa holds him and adores him, tears painting highways down his rounded cheeks. It takes a few hours for Hongjoong to stop trembling.
Hongjoong is worried that Chul will continue to pursue him even after he’s released from his arrest. After tonight, he’s terrified that Chul will go as far as trying to get rid of Seonghwa.
“We’ll take legal action, I don’t know how, but we’ll figure it out together, and make sure that he’ll never see you again….”
And this is all Seonghwa can promise for now. All he can do is cradle Hongjoong, dubbing them two broken fragments, a unit of unwanted defects, somehow meant to be mended together.
()()()()()()()()
Seonghwa’s sister is standing on the other side of the threshold of Wooyoung’s front door.
Hongjoong is hiding behind Seonghwa’s back, peeking at Seung-yeon in uncertainty.
“Oh my god Seonghwa are you okay?” she asks, taking in the sight of his black eye.
Seonghwa stares at her. “How did you know I was here?”
“Hwa, please don’t attack,” San says charily from where he’s standing in the apartment’s entryway. “She reached out to me on Instagram, she was concerned. It was I who revealed your secret location to her… I believed it would be a healthy step forward.”
Seonghwa glares at San with an exasperation that reads I’ll deal with you later.
It’s the morning following the disturbance in Ni-Chome, and Seung-yeon wants to know if Seonghwa is still going to be on their flight home in two days’ time, or if he had booked a different one.
Seonghwa, rather childishly, tells her that it’s none of her fucking business.
She huffs, not in anger, but in helplessness.
“Seonghwa I don’t hate you, it’s the exact opposite,” she says wearily. “I know that we don’t really… talk.”
Seung-yeon looks down at her black Doc Martens.
“I’ve been worried about you. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been well. I want you to know that I regret not standing up for you. Standing up against them is hard….”
Shuffling uncomfortably, Seonghwa does his best to keep eye contact with his sister, when she lifts her face and peers at him with compassion knit in her brow.
“I think that it’s a balance of living your life freely without needing their approval, but also not losing hope in them. I’m going to do my best to help them become more informed, and to help them come around, or something… I don’t know… but you’re their son. They don’t hate you. They’re very conservative people and they fear things that aren’t within their limited box of understanding. People are capable of change, you believe that, don’t you?”
Yes, he does believe that.
But that doesn’t mean that everybody is capable of bettering themselves.
“Maybe,” Seonghwa responds carefully, because he figures it’s better than no answer at all.
Seung-yeon offers him a pained, teary-eyed smile. And then she turns her attention to Hongjoong, who’s still poking his head out from behind Seonghwa’s back, staring at her unblinkingly and intently.
“Um, hi, it’s nice to meet you,” she says, and she bows at Hongjoong, lower than necessary, and Hongjoong gasps lightly and clutches tighter onto Seonghwa’s shirt.
“I’m Hongjoong,” he replies, and he nods at her in return.
“You’re adorable. I’m incredibly sorry for barging in on you guys that morning,” Seung-yeon says. “I don’t expect any forgiveness, but I really want to thank you for being my brother’s boyfriend, and for making him happy.”
Her formality and assumption and everything makes Hongjoong blush fire-engine-red, and it takes everything within Seonghwa not to slam the door shut in his sister’s face, in response to all of these emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with.
It’s an afternoon of goodbyes.
Tokyo bids them farewell. Japan’s elegance shackles their hurt, absorbs their reminiscences for safe keeping.
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Two Months Later
Seonghwa returned home to South Korea, with Hongjoong.
And it wasn’t an easy decision. It was just the decision that reality led them to.
Seonghwa needs his job, quite literally in order to survive. Hongjoong was just about ready to pay for all of Seonghwa’s expenses if they were to travel to somewhere new and extend their getaway, but there was absolutely no way that Seonghwa was going to take that offer.
It was a heated discussion, right after Seonghwa’s sister left Wooyoung’s apartment that day, and it led to Hongjoong having another meltdown.
Wooyoung and San were there to monitor though, and they led Seonghwa and Hongjoong through a very wholesome argument, in all honesty. They were fighting for the sake of what’s best for their futures, both as individuals and together as a pair.
On top of the discomfort of conflict, Seonghwa was stressed because he had never booked a same-day flight before, it was the most spontaneous thing he had ever done.
Up until the very last moment Hongjoong was severely reluctant to go back home, but he was rewarded for his bravery.
He moved in with Seonghwa and Yunho, and he and Yunho have really hit it off, they’ve majorly clicked, and Seonghwa feels that their genuine friendship is such a triumph, it’s a delight and a deep relief seeing that Hongjoong has a new confidant. With Yunho’s affectionate nature, it’s really no surprise.
Nothing regarding Chul has been settled. Seonghwa has recovered from the assault, but they don’t know what has happened to Chul, thankfully they haven’t heard from him. They’re intimidated after having looked into injunctions. The thought of taking this to court is overwhelming. Seonghwa still thinks it would be best though for there to be some sort of a restraining order claimed, and if Hongjoong could attend therapy too, even if it’s only for short-term. He wants Hongjoong to have all of the protection, help, tools, and options accessible to him. He doesn’t want Hongjoong to spend the rest of his life running away. Hongjoong’s safety and peace of mind are invaluable.
Sometimes, Hongjoong is afraid to go out to the grocery store, or to school, or to the park, even with Seonghwa accompanying him. He has his bad days, and better days.
But despite everything, they are finishing up school together, in their own time, on their own path, doing things to the best of their mental and emotional abilities, taking things one day at a time. And the prospect of going back to Japan next spring for Wooyoung and San’s graduation is motivating, and something to very much so look forward to.
They don’t owe the world anything. They don’t owe anyone anything. They’re focused on healing; taking care of themselves, and each other.
And they’re busy nurturing a little idea, a reverie that’s quickly turning into a big dream.
They want to develop a brand, and start up their own magazine.
The notion came along when Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and Yunho were cuddling on the couch, just talking into the early hours of morning and listening to music.
Yunho was talking about school and his journalism courses and he was geeking out about how much he truly enjoys reporting and writing articles and then they got on the subject of careers and Seonghwa and Hongjoong insisted that Yunho would do great working for a magazine.
None of them have an explanation for how rapidly and naturally the proposition came together as a tangible thing, but before they knew it, San and Wooyoung were totally vibing with the idea of putting their culinary training into practice and contributing to the magazine with the inclusion of world cuisine recipes.
Mingi, Seonghwa and San’s high school classmate who has been thriving at Bunka Fashion College, has the connections and expertise to carry the fashion portion of the project. They’ve already had quite a few virtual meetings with everyone and Mingi has been present and eager every time.
Feeling positive after having reached out to Mingi, Seonghwa ended up contacting two more of his high school classmates who he had been fairly close friends with.
Jongho has won numerous awards for his photography, and Yeosang has an education in illustration and graphic design. The both of them were swift to jump on board.
Seung-yeon is not only a social media whiz, but she also went to school for communications and marketing. She’s going to be a tremendous help and play a vital role in all of this. She’s already suggested some bold investments such as getting in touch with rookie K-pop groups for a cover and a feature spread that would reel in an audience right from the start.
And Seonghwa can tell that she isn’t doing this out of indebtedness. She genuinely wants to connect with Seonghwa, she truthfully likes Hongjoong and all of the other guys on the team, and she really is heartfelt about their vision. She’s actually a pretty decent person.
As for Seonghwa, he’s going to be in charge of the interior design and home decor pages of the magazine.
And, Hongjoong is their creative director.
Hongjoong has termed the magazine LILY OF THE VALLEY or LOTV for short.
They don’t know how it’s going to go, but they’re all up for putting in the work for a first trial issue, regardless of the outcome.
Seonghwa and Hongjoong have been reading tons of books and resources online about the industry and magazine editing and printing itself. They snuggle up together in their living room with tea and take notes together in an inspired silence.
They’re going to use each other as models within their team to save on some expenses, and Seonghwa’s sister has plenty of friends who are willing to model in exchange for the experience and a meal. Jongho is investing in some upgrades for his camera gear, and he’s been adamant on researching fashion photography.
Seonghwa often finds himself browsing through rentals and Airbnbs in the area that he could possibly use for LOTV’s home decor photo shoots. He’s excited; for the very first time he’s experiencing passion towards his studies. He cannot wait to get hands-on with his part of this project. He wants to decorate pretty spaces, he wants to create an oasis with everything he touches.
Hongjoong’s wish for LOTV is that they’ll be able to partner up with organizations and campaigns in order to advocate for good causes, like mental health awareness, LGBT rights, domestic violence awareness and fundraising, amongst other things. Hongjoong really is a visionary, and Seonghwa’s feelings for him have multiplied and magnified and spiraled into the most freeing lack of control.
Seonghwa never really thought about traveling all that much before. He associated travel with his family’s compulsory trips.
But now, the thought of traveling the world with Hongjoong is so thrilling and inspiriting. He walks into work daydreaming about all of the places he wants to take Hongjoong. His paychecks are more meaningful now. Coming home to Hongjoong is the best reward, though.
Hongjoong is currently sitting in between Seonghwa’s legs in the bath as they’re watching a show on Seonghwa’s tablet.
It’s a hot summer, but it hasn’t stopped them from soaking in their routine baths.
Hongjoong’s shoulders are resting back, pressing into Seonghwa’s torso.
Seonghwa now has a small tattoo on the backside of his left bicep. It’s minimalist yet realistic art of a cherry that Hongjoong designed. Seonghwa would like to have a full sleeve someday, but for now, he adores his little cherry.
Hongjoong has been thinking about applying for a part-time job at his favorite piercing parlor, but he’s still not confident enough to leave the house without Seonghwa or Yunho for more than an hour or two of classes.
Hongjoong got his septum pierced recently. Seonghwa has been leaving little smooches on his nose often because it hasn’t been healing properly. Hongjoong got his belly button pierced too and Seonghwa has been tempted to toy with it, but it’s still healing as well.
Against Seonghwa’s cheek, Hongjoong’s wet hair feels chill, and Seonghwa kisses and nips at Hongjoong’s ear every now and then. He plays with Hongjoong’s thighs, too.
Letting his eyelids close, Seonghwa sighs with fulfillment at his core, his chest heavy under the steam in the room.
“Joong….”
In response, Hongjoong releases a tiny moan in acknowledgement.
“Hongjoong, I love you.”
He freezes for just a moment, and then he twists his body around to peer at Seonghwa, and he’s crying softly.
“…What?”
“I love you,” Seonghwa speaks, and his voice comes out deep and clear.
“…I’m sorry, could you repeat that one more time?” Hongjoong says.
They’re both smiling now, Hongjoong is smiling and crying, his bottom lip is trembling.
“I love you too,” he tells Seonghwa.
Seonghwa feels as though he’s gazing right at Hongjoong’s heart when their eyes are locked like this. “I just thought you should know… how much I love you….”
Hongjoong adjusts his position, so that he’s facing Seonghwa more comfortably, and he cups a dampened palm on Seonghwa’s cheek.
“…All I wanted… I just wanted to be kissed by you, like in a fairy tale… and I want to be loved, or something like that…. I thought that it would be pretty cool, if you loved me.”
Seonghwa is now on the brink of tears himself.
How could someone not love Hongjoong.
It took Seonghwa for-fucking-ever to say it, and now he’s mad at himself, seeing how deeply Hongjoong craved this. Why wait to tell someone you love them?
But Seonghwa keeps the words of a really good friend of his in mind.
Everything’s gonna work out for you in it’s own time
Your timeline doesn’t have to be identical to anyone else’s
And it won’t be and that’s special
“Seonghwa you’re my safe place…,” Hongjoong says as he wraps his arms around the back of Seonghwa’s neck, water droplets trickling from his fingertips like flower petals falling from a spring sky.
“You’re exactly that for me, too.”
“Now I’ll never have to wonder where home is,” Hongjoong whispers.
Seonghwa pulls Hongjoong close, closer to his heart. “I’m so glad. You make me happy….”
They kiss, maybe the softest they’ve ever kissed, maybe the softest they ever will, and they stay submerged and entwined, until the bath water turns cold.