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"You fucked up, you know that, right?"
V motioned vaguely for another shot, but Claire withheld the bottle, making the merc frown.
"Claire…"
"I knew you, V. You were always in it for the power and glory, but looking at this gonk in front of me makes me think otherwise." Still grasping the neck of tequila, Claire downed the alcohol herself and wiped her lips with her sleeve afterwards "Sheesh. Needed that after your sorry ass walked in here."
"I thought-"
"I've heard it all before V. Almost like you're forgetting I bartend for some of the hottest shots in Night City." Claire paused, seemingly to consider herself for a moment, before nodding and emptying the remains of the tequila bottle in V's glass. "People think they can fill that hole in their heart with copious amounts of eddies. But you can't buy romance. God, I wish I could."
V gave Claire a small smirk and toyed with the liquid in her glass, swirling it around. "Bought some romance off of Jig-Jig Street."
"Ever the smartass. Did it get you Judy, though?"
V stayed silent, staring at herself through the reflection of her glass.
"I thought so," Claire huffed. After V's pleading look, she sighed. "Call her, V. What's the worst thing that could happen? Don't make a choice you'll regret; you did that already."
--
V scheduled an entire day off for this.
No calls, no jobs, no fixers knocking on her door and no songs filtering through her crappy radio. Scheduled. Planned.
Her apartment was the cleanest it had ever been in her life due to the tick that kept her leg bouncing up and down and her thumb hovering over the contact name.
Judy Alvarez .
She was procrastinating, and was painfully aware of it.
At the end of the day, her entire armory was restocked, all her weapons were maintained and polished to spitshine, and her books were placed in alphabetical order.
A wuss, Johnny would say, and she heard his voice clear as day in her head. If she hadn't known any better, her head would've whipped around to try and find him. That's what you are. A wuss. Couldn't even call a single girl. We've gone through all kinds of shit, and here you are rendered useless by a single girl.
"I'm not a fucking wuss," V murmured. Her thumb wandered over Judy's name once again, and this time, she tapped.
The phone rang once, twice, thrice… an infinite number of times before the ringing stopped and god, so did V's heart.
"Judy? I- um, are you there? Okay?"
She was met with silence. Aghast, V checked the connection, and realized.
"Oh crap, it's a voicemail. Well," V chuckled. "I guess there's no backing out now, right?"
The eerie silence prompted a slough of nonsense.
"I- um… well, see, I thought about- am thinking about… you. Me. Us. Everything. I- heh, I was thinking about what to say for the entire day. Well actually, that's a lie; I was thinking of what to say ever since you told me you left Night City.
"I know. I have no jurisdiction or right or whatever the fucking right word is to call you. But I… the truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. And I just wanted to let you know that… you care for a lot of people, Judy. Sometimes more than for your own good. There's a girl in Night City that cares about you just as- no, even more fiercely than that, and she'd like to show you if you let her.
"You can say no! I know that you ran away because you wanted a brand new slate, life, and stuff. I'm probably just dredging up some bad memories that you don't want any part of anymore. That's fine, then, ignore everything I say. But just letting you know…
"I hope you're alright, Judy. I really do. Whatever you do, you have a good life."
--
Several days have passed since the voicemail, and the legend of the Afterlife had not been taking any jobs for several days.
It all changed one fateful morning when V woke up to four words from Judy Alvarez.
Send me one more.
V immediately fumbled for the call button, and once the ringing stopped and she checked that it was on voicemail, she spoke again.
"Judy! Hi, I… hi. I got your message!" God, you hear that whine in your voice? Try and tone down the excitement, don't make a fool of yourself, will ya? V almost dropped the phone at Johnny's slow drawl. He was right. Well, her imagination was right. "I'm hoping that 'one more' meant 'one more voicemail,' or else this would be really awkward.
"It's cliche, I know, like those crappy Spanish shows you like to watch. Hell, with the shit I'm spouting, I could probably make a living making a show based on me pining after you. I'd rather be known for that than the legend of Night City."
V sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyebrows with the tips of her fingers.
"I know, sensitive topic. Judy… I'm sorry. For everything. Jackie and I… everything we ever did was priming ourselves for the big leagues. That was the only goal: our names etched into legends, etched into the drinks at the Afterlife and in the mouths of people all around. I thought that that was the only goal for me, ever. After Jackie died, I think… I think I felt obligated to Jackie, make up for his death by making it into the big leagues.
"You can thank Misty for that insight. After everything, I went to her for some sessions. A merc going through therapy sessions… me going through therapy sessions… never thought I'd see the day. But I tried. It helped, I think. Helped my mind get straight- my mind, not me. Get it?
"Ugh, what I'm trying to say is that I think I'm better now, Judy. Not like before. No more walls, no more fronts. I'm not trying to put pressure on you… just letting you know that I guess I'm not the same V. Don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
--
V waited a longer time than the wait between her first voicemail and Judy's first reply for her second one.
It was a little over two weeks later before V saw it.
I think it's a good thing.
One more?
V's thumbs moved of their own accord.
"Hey, Judy. I'm really glad you texted back." V scratched the underside of her chin with her free hand and walked to her balcony, leaning against the same spot she did when she last saw Judy. She stared at the glaring, blinking lights of Night City's buildings, beacons of false hope and prosperity amidst the bleakness of the dark of night. Once, this view took her breath away. Now, she gasps for air. "I guess I didn't tell you the whole story, did I? Out in space, surrounded by nothing but stars and stardust… on one side of my vision, I saw my pistol. On the other, the Earth.
“It was silent. Eerily so. After all the hustle and bustle and sounds of the city, it kind of freaked me out. But it gave me the space to think - get it? Anyways… I saw those little blinking yellow lights on the surface of the Earth and wondered if any of those belonged to you, if you stood underneath one of them. What were you doing? Gazing at the sky like you did that last morning? Would you have seen me? Could you have?
"My mind was on you and not on the mission, and I almost died for that, Judy. No, I'm- heh, I'm not blaming you. Well, maybe a little. It's unfair, how beautiful you look… anyways. I was on the brink of death up there, on the Crystal Palace, and all I could think about was you. Misty told me that if all I really wanted was fame and glory, I would've been thinking about my unfinished legend. I believe her.
"Listen… I fucked up, Judy. I know, I know, cliche and all from your Spanish shows, but I don't think I can put it another way. Just say the word, and this could be the last you hear from me. Just say the word, and this could also be… not the last. I'm willing to chase you, Judy, wherever you are, if you want me to. Hell, you don't even need to want me back. But I honestly think that I- hmm. I honestly think that I need you. I guess things really haven't changed, have they?
"I miss you, Judy. Just give me the word. Anything. I'll take it."
--
V was still devoted to not taking any jobs, instead spending the day sparring with Viktor. Grueling hours of checking her messages passed in between bouts with the ripperdoc.
“There’s somethin’ on your mind, V,” he stated calmly, offering V a hand to help her off the floor. “Old man like me can never take down the legend of Night City.”
The title would never escape her, would it?
“I thought you said you were bad at this kind of stuff?”
“I’m good with my fists and they never caught you before.”
V sighed, sauntering over to the end of the ring and leaning on the ropes. She heard the velcro of Vik’s boxing gloves rip as he took them off and found his place next to her.
“It’s about that girl, isn’t it? Josie, Jenny something.”
V didn’t bother to reply. Upon her silence, Vik tsked at her. “Time’s of the essence, V. I told you countless times.”
“I know.”
His head turned to her, staring at her intensely for a moment. “Call Del. And don’t come back unless you can dodge my strikes.”
--
Judy never gave her a word.
Instead, V groaned, rolled over in bed, checked her messages, and saw that Judy gave her numbers.
Coordinates.
Hope.
V’s Samurai jacket was left swaying on its hangar from the hard impact of her front door slamming shut.
The coordinates led her six hours away from Night City on Jackie’s bike. By then, the sky was close to pitch black, only a slight peek of orange over the horizon.
It was a small town, quiet and eerie, and it reminded V of space. She was surrounded by generously-spaced suburban houses, roused from their rust and damage from age by careful maintenance and care. At least one tree was planted in each backyard, and V counted each one until her tracker beeped, indicating that she reached her destination.
She didn’t know what she was expecting. Having grown up in Night City, V thought that all communities outside of it would be decrepit, rundown. The house in front of her told otherwise.
Full paint smeared the outside, colors splattered against it in style. The grass surrounding it was cut, suggesting its maintenance. The stairs leading up to the house’s doorstep seemed newly built, and as V stepped upon it, she was surprised to note that the floorboards didn’t creak, unlike every other house in its likeness in Night City.
The thought that Judy spent her time renovating her house and perhaps giving her her own form of therapy made V smile. Fixing up houses instead of BD’s.
V raised her hand to knock on the door, and froze at the sound of Johnny’s voice.
It’s three AM, V! Have some class. Let the girl sleep. Least you could give her. She swore she heard the click of his lighter being shut, and shook her head.
V hoisted herself up on the railing of the front porch, swinging her legs. She could wait. It was the least she could-
A lock clicked open, and Judy’s front door opened an inch.
“V?”
That drawl. That sleepy scratch. That voice.
That girl.
Despite her enthusiasm in the past couple weeks, V couldn’t tear her eyes away from the floorboards to look at the door. There was no way she deserved to be on Judy’s porch at three AM. No jurisdiction or right or whatever the fucking word was.
“V.” The pure relief in Judy’s voice finally tore her gaze away from the floorboards and into Judy’s gaze.
Sometimes things never change.
Judy peeked out from the front door, her hair still an unruly mix of green and pink, though it was mostly green now. Her makeup was all off, and yet V was still rendered useless.
“Judy,” she managed to breathe out. Judy smiled slightly at her unabashed breathlessness, and widened the door further.
“Come on in.”
V’s legs moved like an automaton, carrying her from the porch railing to the front door. She hesitated before stepping into the house, and looked up to find Judy smiling at her.
“The floor won’t bite you, V. It’s okay. Come on. I’ll put up some coffee.” Judy disappeared from her line of sight, presumably moving into the kitchen.
Yeah, it won’t bite. Cryin’ out loud, V-
She stepped in the house if only to shut Johnny’s voice up.
The house was neat. It almost seemed like everything was polished to a shine. In one corner sat a couch perpendicular to a TV, and blankets were neatly folded on its end. In another, plants of various sizes and colors sat comfortably in their pots, a near-empty watering can beside them. On the other side of the room stood the kitchen, where Judy was fiddling with a coffee maker, dressed in an oversized hoodie and tennis shorts.
V couldn’t believe it. Judy’s house was nothing like the lavish apartments V bought over the last few months, and contained none of the expensive, useless doodads she had in Night City.
However, despite the number of luxurious living spaces V bought and owned, this was the only place where she felt like she was truly home.
V set herself down carefully on the couch, careful not to let her eyes stray to Judy’s general direction. Her fingers fiddled with each other until she heard soft padding, and she looked up to find Judy holding two cups wafting with vapour. She handed one to V, and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
This was the closest they’ve been in months, and yet V still cursed the vast empty space on the couch between them.
The coffee smelled good, and V took a sip only to realize that this was the exact way she took her coffee. Sugar and cream. She glanced at Judy to find the other girl staring into her own cup.
Would you look at that, Johnny’s voice drawled somewhere in her head. She still remembered.
“So…” V tapped the side of her cup impatiently, willing her brain to think of something to say to the girl she’s been wanting for months. “Nice digs.”
“Yeah,” Judy breathed out. She curled her legs to her chest, and took another sip from her cup. “Better than before.”
“It’s cleaner this time.”
“Cleaning clears my head.” Judy’s eyes met V’s for a slight second before glancing back down into her cup. V couldn’t help the pang of pain that pierced her heart. The house was spotless.
“How are you, Judy?” Another quick gulp of her perfect coffee hoped to regulate her rapid heartbeat.
“I’m good. Been doing better since I left, actually.” Judy paused, and her eyes widened. “No offense, I mean.”
“Yeah, none taken. I get it. This place… all quiet and calm… does things to people.”
Judy glanced at her with her side-eye. “What about you, V? How are you?”
You really gonna keep this awkward conversation going? Even I’m rollin’ in my grave.
“I-” V gripped her cup tighter, and turned her body towards Judy, prompting the other girl to do the same. Staring into those eyes she’s dreamed of for months stole the breath away from V, but she had to gather her wits. “I fucked up, Judy.”
“You did.” Surprisingly, Judy let out a giggle. “Exactly like my ‘crappy Spanish shows.’”
V had the good nature to act offended. “They’re all the same!”
“Doesn’t mean they aren’t realistic,” Judy shot back, giving V a once-over, and V relinquished the fight, leaning back into the couch. She craned her head up to the ceiling, and draped an arm over her eyes. No way was she looking at Judy while she said what she had to say.
“I know, it’s fucking unfair for me to come back like this. Especially since I only have months left… hell, more like weeks. But I- truly Judy, I can’t stop thinking about you and us. I need you. You’ve probably found a life here without any regrets, and I’m so fucking happy to see that. If I’m just bad luck, just say so-”
Soft lips pressed against the underside of V’s jaw, and she opened her eyes to find Judy sidled up against her. V couldn’t believe how good it felt; to feel the warmth of Judy once again, even though it was through the layers of clothes between them.
“Shut up, V. It’s my turn,” Judy said softly, and met V’s eyes. Suddenly, Judy sighed dramatically. “You can put your arm up, V. I know that look.”
V gratefully raised her arm and settled it around Judy’s shoulders. Judy sighed into the contact, and leaned into the space where V’s neck met her shoulder, scooching her legs even closer into her chest. V couldn’t help slightly tugging the other girl closer.
“I've been listening to your voicemails on repeat. Each week. Been thinking about you- us, too. I tried telling myself not to, tried resisting, but every time I still hit play on your voicemails. Every day. For weeks. I-” Judy’s voice shook, and V tugged her even closer, resting her nose against Judy’s head, breathing her in. It seemed to calm Judy down, and after a moment, she continued. “I tried telling myself: ‘it’s unfair, you’re going to be gone in months and you’re living the life you’ve always wanted in Night City and-”
A small sob escaped Judy, and she tensed up. V wrapped her other arm around Judy, hugging her, embracing her with all the warmth V could offer. She rubbed circles on Judy’s back until the other woman stopped shaking.
“God, V! How do you always know the perfect things to do?” Judy chuckled into V’s chest, which was quickly interrupted by another sob.
“I don’t,” V told her quietly. “I stayed in Night City. I don’t always know.”
Judy took heaving breaths, and V stayed silent, rubbing circles and indescribable patterns until Judy laughed again.
“The rational part of me said I shouldn’t text back. What kind of favor would I be doing to myself, falling in love with you again when you’re going to be gone? Evelynn, y’know? She still haunts me. She’s still fucking in my head, fucking talking and I just- fuck!”
V let Judy sob into her chest for a few more precious minutes.
“Johnny talks to me too, sometimes.” Judy looked up at V curiously, and V gave her a sad smile. “I hear him often. Hell, he called me a wuss before I called you for the first time. I don’t think… I don’t think they can ever leave."
Judy settled back to her place on V's chest and V couldn't resist reaching up to stroke the other women's cheek. She had to change the topic. It was never easy seeing Judy in pain, and it wouldn't ever get easier.
"So… what do you do in this town? Any gigs, jobs, stuff like that?"
Judy took a moment, shaking every now and then until V stroked her comfortingly back to reality again. V found herself being patient, surprisingly so, a wild cry from her sporadic, rushed merc personality. She found herself being patient despite inching- no, more like leaping and bounding towards death with every minute. This was it.
V's life took several leaps and bounds before Judy found it in herself to speak, and V was glad.
"Sorta," Judy murmured. "The town's got odd jobs for everyone. I'm mostly on electricity and tech. Others are on carpentry, cooking. Some go hunt."
"Hunt? Like real, organic food?"
Judy stared at V's astonished face before bursting into quiet laughter. "Yeah! Yeah, organic food. Can you imagine? Animals are out here, animals that the corpos never got their sleazy hands on. There's a forest not far from here that they go to. Regulated, of course."
There was a twinkle in Judy's eye that V didn't fail to notice. "Eating real food must've gotten you all excited."
"You can't imagine how awesome it is." Judy broke eye contact once again, employing V's earlier strategy and eyeing the floorboards. "I… imagined you here, y'know. I think that would've been your job. Hunting. I think you would've liked it, using your guns for something else."
"Yeah, I think I'll like it too."
The tense V used didn't pass unnoticed. "What… do you mean?"
"I mean that I’d like to stay with you here, if you’d let me.”
“Stay… with me?” Judy looked up at V with wide eyes, and V set her jaw. “But… you’re going to be gone.”
V’s shoulders sagged, and she stared at an inconspicuous spot on the TV as she thought. “I know, Judy. I’d just like to spend them with you. Selfish and all, I know, but I promise I’ll do my best to-”
“What the fuck are you talking about, V!” Judy surged forwards and captured V’s lips so harshly that V swore that the feeling was akin to a bullet grazing her lips. The kiss was rushed, but as they gained their footing, it turned slow and sensual. Judy’s tongue swiped V’s bottom lip slowly and steadily again and again. It was almost as if she was reassuring herself of V’s existence by feeling her.
V’s hand drifted down to Judy’s waist, and she grasped her hips, pulling Judy firmly onto her lap. Judy’s hands raised to cup the underside of V’s jaw lightly, stroking with her thumb, matching her movement with her tongue. Strong, weathered hands snaked underneath Judy’s hoodie and found their place on her hips. V bit back a satisfied groan at the feeling of touching Judy’s skin once again.
“V,” Judy whispered against V’s lips, “You stole the words out of my mouth. Now I know why you’re the best merc in America.”
“Don’t wanna be a merc anymore,” V murmured, pulling back just enough to look Judy in the eye. “Just wanna be yours.”
“Mine,” Judy repeated reverently, and snagged V’s lips once again with that wildness of hers. V’s hands raised even further until they brushed against the underside of Judy’s breasts, but went no further. At the movement, Judy pulled back and gave the ex-merc a hardened look. “No playing, mi calabacita.” V almost winced at the rejection, but when she moved to lower her hands, Judy’s grasped them through the barrier of the hoodie, keeping them in place. “If you do that… If you say that… then you’re staying. You can’t change your mind. You’re gonna be with me while you can.”
“Goes unsaid.” The certainty dripped from V like a waterfall, prompting Judy to grin widely. “Oh, and calabacita- pumpkin? Really, Judy?”
“Yeah,” Judy snorted, relinquishing her grip on V’s hands to rest them on her shoulders instead. “‘Coz you squash me, fatass.”
V grinned wickedly and swung Judy onto her back, making her squeal in surprise. V took her familiar place between Judy’s legs, placed her hands to trap Judy’s waist in place, and leaned down to whisper in her ear: “You like it when I do.”
“In specific cases, yes,” Judy snarked before abruptly moaning at the sudden feeling of V’s lips snaring her nipple through the fabric of her hoodie.
“This a specific case?”
“Shut up and do your job.”