Chapter Text
"You know, Kaz," Jesper hissed through clenched teeth, "I'm getting really tired of the way you treat us."
Kaz studied Jesper for a moment. He was standing in the doorway to Kaz's room, his arms crossed, his fists clenched. Kaz looked at him, boredom apparent in his coffee-brown eyes. He begun to laugh.
"Oh, you're tired of the way I treat you?" He cackled. "Aw, that's cute. I should throw you out onto the streets." He was still laughing, but there was a sharpness behind his words that was unmistakably threatening. He was serious, but so was Jesper.
"You're a real piece of shit, you know that?" Jesper spat.
"Leave a note in the suggestion box," Kaz said, gesturing towards the garbage can. "and get out of my room."
"I'm not in your room." Jesper said. He was, infuriatingly, correct. He was technically in the doorway. Kaz rolled his eyes.
"Jesper, does the word 'stupid' mean anything to you?"
"Oh, probably." Jesper muttered, mainly to himself as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
Kaz gave Jesper his full attention, turning in his chair to face his body towards his.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kaz asked, eerily calm, which was not exactly something Kaz was known for.
"You're a horrible person." Jesper told him.
"We're all terrible, Jesper. It's just a matter of who's willing to admit it, and who spends their entire life trying to escape themselves."
"God, you're so fucking pretentious!" Jesper exclaimed. Kaz blinked in surprise.
"Excuse me?"
"You never shut up about how terrible people are, and how everybody is rules by greed and selfishness. Have you ever considered, Kaz, that it's just you?" Jesper stalked closer, watched Kaz like a hawk.
Jesper may have had the upper hand, but Kaz was still dangerous. He wouldn't think twice about cutting this conversation short by putting Jesper down for a surprise nap, courtesy of his cane to the side of his head.
"I could have you dead in less than thirty seconds." Kaz warned, narrowing his eyes. Jesper stopped in front of him, and took notice of the way Kaz was practically shrinking in on himself, trying to discreetly prevent their knees from touching.
"Oh, I'm sure you could," Jesper taunted, resting his hand on the back of Kaz's chair and leaning over him. "but you don't seem as keen on killing me as you want me to think you are."
Jesper was right. There was no bite behind Kaz's words. They fizzed with a nervousness Jesper was unused to hearing from Kaz, but that was all there was. Anxiety and gravel.
"It must be hard to portray yourself as the leader when you're this fucking spineless." He spat. Kaz wouldn't look him in the eyes, instead focusing his attention on Jesper's chest.
"Hey," Jesper snapped his fingers in front of Kaz's face. "look at me."
If it was anyone besides Kaz, Jesper would have grabbed his face and forced him to look up. But this was Kaz, and as much as Jesper loved to see him crumble, he didn't want to risk him fainting. He wasn't planning on touching him in any way that wasn't necessary.
Kaz was, shockingly, obedient in Jespers demand. He looked up, meeting his eyes, and Jesper let himself marvel at the sight. Kaz Brekker trembling beneath him, his eyes wide and his breath shallow.
"Holy shit," Jesper muttered beneath his breath, stealing a glance at Kaz's crotch.
"Fuck off," Kaz muttered, crossing his legs.
"You're getting off on this, aren't you?" Jesper teased, laughing mockingly at the man beneath him.
"No!" Kaz shouted defensively.
"Oh, sure. You're hard for some other reason, then? Perhaps you accidentally let your mind wander to torturing people?" He taunted. "Saints, and I thought I was the fag between us."
"Fuck off!"
"You sure you want me to? Your body is saying otherwise."
"My body is wrong. As much as you wish for otherwise, Jesper, I'm straight."
"Oh, sure," Jesper laughed, wrapping his fingers around Kaz's tie and giving it a good tug.
The sound that left Kaz's mouth was as unfortunate as it was embarassing.
"Who would have guessed you were a bottom?" Jesper laughed. He let go of Kaz's tie and backed up.
"Stand up." He ordered.
"No- no, get out."
"Aw, come on, you know you want to." Jesper said mockingly. Kaz gave him a glare that should have been able to turn him to stone, then, slowly with the help of his cane, stood up.
"What now, genius? Want me to get on my knees and beg?" Kaz hissed. That... was not the insult Kaz seemed to think it was.
"I mean, if you're offering-"
"No."
"Fine, strip."
"What?"
"You heard me. Don't make this harder for yourself, Kaz. You'll only embarrass yourself further." Jesper told him.
Kaz was quiet for a moment. It was a threatening silence- a silence in which Jesper didn't know if Kaz was going to murder him in cold blood or not. After a painfully long time of Jesper staring at Kaz, and Kaz staring at the floor, Kaz started to unbutton his waistcoat.
"Good boy. You're good at following orders."
"Don't push it." Kaz snarled as he dropped his waistcoat onto the floor. His tie followed, then his shirt.
Unlike in the prison, Jesper let himself look. His eyes trailed the harsh lines of Kaz's body, taking in every detail from his pale skin to the line of hair from his pants line to his bellybutton.
"Pants too." Jesper reminded him. Kaz sucked in a sharp breath, then removed his pants clumsily. It was probably difficult to do with a bad leg, Jesper thought.
"Saints," Jesper muttered, staring at the much more apparent bulge in Kaz's underwear. "do you have a license to carry that thing?"
"I'm going to fucking kill you."
"Killing me before you get off just seems like a bad business move to me." Jesper retorted. Kaz rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.
Jesper looked at Kaz for a long time before he spoke again.
"The bed," he said, his eyes locked on Kaz's crotch. "get on the bed."
Kaz was still for a tense moment before doing as Jesper said. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and looked at Jesper. He watched him closely, studying his every movement.
"What are you going to do to me?" He asked when he couldn't take the suspense anymore.
The truth was, Jesper didn't know. He didn't think he would get this far.
"Give me your gloves." Jesper requested, his voice a hint more gentle than it was before. Kaz looked scared. More scared than Jesper had ever seen him. Jesper has seen Kaz scared and vulnerable before, but not like this, and he wanted to show Kaz that he could trust him.
"Why?"
"So I won't touch you." Jesper told him. Kaz took off his gloves, his hands trembling, and handed them to Jesper.
Jesper watched Kaz's hands as they settled onto the bed at his sides, gripping the sheets tightly. Jesper had the urge to tell Kaz how beautiful his hands were, but he fought it.
"Lay down." Jesper instructed as he put on the gloves. They were warm from Kaz's hands, and the insides were damp, showing that Kaz's palms had been sweating.
Kaz slowly let his back settle on the mattress. His legs still hung over the sides, but that was how Jesper wanted it. It would make touching him without touching anything he didn't need to be touching a lot easier.
"Are you okay?" Jesper asked Kaz. He knew it was a stupid question, and that Kaz was not going to answer, but he thought maybe it would make Kaz a bit less nervous.
"This isn't a fucking sharing circle. Just get it over with." Kaz growled.
Jesper grabbed the band of Kaz's underwear and slowly begun to pull them down. He had seen Kaz naked before, but not like this. Not alone on a bed beneath him, with his cock so hard Jesper could practically see it throbbing.
When Jesper had pulled Kaz's underwear down far enough to release his dick, it sprang upwards so hard it hit him in the stomach with a thwack. Kaz gasped and flinched, then glared at Jesper as a short laugh escaped his mouth.
"What, you've never had that happen before?" Jesper asked. Kaz shook his head. Jesper would have described the gesture as innocent, had it not come from Kaz Brekker.
Jesper spat into the palm of his hand, onto the glove, and ignored the annoyed noise Kaz made about Jesper spitting on his gloves.
He took Kaz's cock in his hand, and gingerly began to stroke him. Kaz lifted a hand and covered his own mouth, his eyes wide.
"What, never had your dick touched before?" Jesper teased, not expecting Kaz to nod.
"You're a virgin." Jesper immediately said, surprised. He knew Kaz didn't like being touched- but he thought- he had just assumed-
"Is there something wrong with that?" Kaz asked defensively.
"No, no," Jesper replied. "It's just gonna make this a lot more fun."
Jesper quickly discovered that Kaz was very sensitive.
"Ah, fuck- watch it, would you?" Kaz whined as Jesper prodded at the head.
"If you keep squirming I'm going to have to hold you down." Jesper warned, then laughed when Kaz's eyes went wide.
Jesper didn't know how much longer he could last jerking Kaz off without touching himself. As it turns out, it wasn't very long, as the second Kaz started to buck his hips upwards, effectively fucking Jespers hand, he couldn't take it anymore.
"You're a virgin but you're desperate like a whore," Jesper told Kaz, who glared at him in response. "What, don't like that name? What would you prefer? Brat, fag, slut-"
"Stop fucking talking."
"Aw, you're so kind," Jesper cooed sarcastically, then took the glove off of his unoccupied hand using his teeth and threw it at Kaz. "Suck on the fingers."
"Why?"
"Unless you want me to shred your insides, I'd recommend doing as you're told." He threatened. Kaz, very reluctantly, put the tip of the glove's index finger in his mouth.
"Oh, I know you can do better than that," Jesper scoffed. Kaz glared at him before sucking the whole finger in his mouth.
Jesper was quick to take his own cock out and started touching himself, taking notice of the way Kaz stared at his dick, wide-eyed.
"Like what you see?"
"It's huge," Kaz told him, then realized what he had said and glared at Jespers face.
"I know," Jesper said. "Maybe one day you'll let me put it inside you."
"Absolutely not."
"We'll see. Keep sucking."
Kaz did as he was told; something he was shockingly good at doing when he wanted to. He coated all the fingers in his saliva, then looked up at Jesper timidly.
"Is that enough?" He asked, showing Jesper the glove. He sounded like a scared boy afraid of being scolded.
"Probably," Jesper said, accepting the glove from Kaz.
Jesper momentarily took his hand away from Kaz's aching cock, and chuckled at the way Kaz desperately thrusted his hips upwards with a whine, begging to be touched again.
"If you're that desperate why don't you touch yourself." Jesper suggested.
"I- I-" Kaz tried, then stopped.
"What, have you never touched yourself before?" He asked, not expecting Kaz to reluctantly nod.
"Seriously? Never?"
"No- well, not really-" he admitted, flushing a deep shade of red.
"Have you ever cum before?"
"I- yes! That's a stupid question!"
"I don't know, you sound pretty defensive about it." Jesper teased. "I don't think you have. Maybe that's why you're so uptight; you're frustrated."
"Fuck off."
"Aw, look at you, eighteen and you've never cum before."
"I've cum before!" Kaz tried to shout, but it came out as a whine. Jesper just laughed at him.
Jesper put the spit covered glove on his hand, and watched Kaz's face twist into shock as a finger was pressed against his hole.
"Fuck, Jesper- wait-" Kaz whimpered, so desperate he grabbed on to Jespers wrist.
"Hey, hey- it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," Jesper reassured. He went to caress the inside of Kaz's thigh, but stopped himself. Instead he grabbed Kaz's hand, which was gripping onto the sheets so tight it looked like it was trying to strangle them, and guided it to his cock.
"Wrap your fingers around it," he instructed. One thing he never thought he would do was teach Kaz how to masturbate, but here he was. Kaz got the hang of it quickly, and seemed to relax as he stroked himself.
"I'll be gentle, I promise," Jesper whispered gently as he pressed his finger against Kaz's hole just a bit harder. He looked Kaz in the eyes as he kept pressing, until his body accepted his finger and it slipped inside. Kaz's face shifted to discomfort, but he stayed quiet, seemingly focusing on touching himself to distract from the intrusion.
"Try to relax," he told Kaz as he moved the finger in and out in a painfully slow pace. He wanted to fuck Kaz's throat hard enough to hear him gag, then fuck him senseless using his spit as lube, but he settled for the gentleness of one finger. He took whatever he could get, Kaz's nervous expression as he took something inside of him for the first time being enough to make up for the lack of touch.
Kaz let out a grunt when Jesper's finger pressed into something inside of him.
"Right there?" Jesper asked, pushing another finger inside and pressing that spot again. Kaz let out a moan- a real, high-pitched, whiney moan, and nodded his head.
"Yes, fuck- there, right there-" he groaned.
"Say please." Jesper demanded, now only touching the space below it. Kaz glared at him.
"Seriously?"
"Beg or I won't let you cum."
"Jesper-"
"Fucking beg."
"P-please, please- I need it, Jesper," Kaz whimpered reluctantly.
"Not very convincing." Jesper sighed, and started to pull his fingers out.
"No, wait- I'm sorry, please- fuck, I need it so fucking bad, please-" Kaz begged desperately. Jesper hadn't realized how easy it would be to make him beg.
"Good boy, you're so obedient," Jesper praised, choosing to ignore the disgusted face Kaz made.
Jesper pressed a third finger inside and swatted Kaz's hand away from his dick, instead choosing to pump him in time with his thrusts.
"God, I want to fuck you so bad," Jesper muttered, watching himself finger-fuck Kaz.
"I couldn't take it," Kaz whimpered. "Your dick is too big."
"Now you're just trying to be nice. Are you close?"
"Yes- fuck, Jesper, I'm so close-" Kaz moaned. His head kept rolling back, despite his want to watch Jesper touch him.
"Do you think you deserve to cum?" He asked.
"Y-yes- yes, please- please Jesper, I need it- I need to cum so bad, I want to cum-"
"Beg me to let you cum."
"Please let me cum, please- pl- ah! Oh my god, oh my god it's so sensitive, Jesper please, please I need it so bad-" Kaz begged, predictably squirming whenever Jesper touched his swollen head.
Jesper decided to give in to Kaz's pleas. As much as he loved making him beg and threatening to not let him cum, he knew his threats were empty. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't get to see Kaz cum.
"You better say thank you when I make you cum," Jesper warned, squeezing Kaz's cock so hard he yelped. "understand?"
"Yes! Yes, I understand- fuck, Jesper-" he moaned so loudly Jesper was terrified someone else in the building would hear.
Kaz fucked Jespers hand so fast Jesper considered pinning his hips down, just to calm him down. But he didn't, he let Kaz fuck his hand and massaged his prostate with his three gloved fingers until his moans were almost unbearably loud.
"Fuck, Jesper- I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum- you're gonna make me cum!"
"Then cum, you desperate little whore," Jesper gave his permission, and as soon as he did, Kaz was a sobbing mess with his own cum spurting out onto his chest.
Jesper pumped him through his orgasm, then continued to do so long after his peak was over. Kaz squirmed hard, kicking and sobbing as he was overstimulated.
"You didn't say thank you." Jesper scolded, furiously pumping Kaz's sensitive cock.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Fuck, thank you, thank you, thank you! Stop, please- I can't take it anymore! It's too sensitive!" He sobbed, squirming furiously to no avail. Jesper finally let go, and pulled his tired fingers out of Kaz's hole.
"Th-thank you, fuck-" Kaz whimpered.
"Move over. Put your head here." Jesper instructed, patting a space on the side of the bed.
"Why?" Kaz asked.
"Because I'm gonna cum on your face, now move before I overstimulate you again."
Kaz did as he was told without arguement. He laid still while Jesper jerked himself off borderline violently above him, looking him in the eyes as he did so.
"Open your mouth." He demanded. Kaz opened his mouth, and only grimaced a bit as Jesper's cum spurted out onto his tongue.
"Swallow."
"Do I have to?"
Jesper started reaching towards Kaz's cock. Kaz got the hint before he got there, though, and reluctantly swallowed Jesper's cum.
"You're such a good boy when you want to be." Jesper told him.
"Fuck off." Kaz barked, crossing his arms and looking away.
"Ah, so you're only good when you want something." Jesper observed.
Jesper tucked himself back into his pants, then contemplated if it was best to leave or not. Kaz wouldn't look at him, and he didn't know if Kaz was angry, or if he was just being Kaz.
Jesper started towards the door, but he changed his mind last second, instead stopping at the barrel of water and grabbing a damp cloth.
"The fuck are you doing?" Kaz snarled as Jesper walked back over to him.
"Cleaning up your mess, if you don't mind." Jesper said, showing Kaz the cloth. He sighed and uncrossed his arms, giving Jesper the closest thing to permission he was ever going to get.
Jesper wiped the cum off of Kaz's chest and stomach, then wiped the few stray drops off of his face.
"Better?" He asked.
"Yes," Kaz muttered angrily. "thank you."
Jesper threw the cloth on the floor, unsure of what to do with it, and watched Kaz, who was still making a point of not looking at him.
"I wish I could kiss you." Jesper admitted. Kaz looked at him through the corner of his eye.
"No one's stopping you." He grumbled.
"Are you serious?"
Kaz shrugged. He didn't know what he wanted. He just knew he wanted Jesper.
Kaz turned his head towards Jesper, and he let himself be kissed for the first time in his life. It seemed strange to get his first handjob before his first kiss, but he was always a run before you walk kind of guy.