Chapter Text
Life on Deep Space Nine was peaceful. For the first time in ages, there had been no murders, no transporter accidents, no illegal cargo and no threat from the Dominion for more than a month. It was quiet.
It was boring.
Jadzia had nothing better to do with her afternoon then slump over to Quark’s for the fifth time that week. Tongo and Dabo had long lost amusement, and as thrilling as Morn’s stories often were, Jadzia was aching for something new.
Quark, on the other hand, was in high spirits, welcoming her into the bar with his arms thrown wide.
“Lieutenant!” Quark exclaimed. “What a pleasure to see you here again. Shall I fetch your usual?”
Jadzia slumped onto a barstool. “No, please,” she begged. “Give me something new. Something I’ve never tried before.”
Quark laughed. “Well, I’ll see what I can do. You’re a special challenge, being someone who's lived eight lifetimes. And one of those was Curzon!” But despite his words, Quark immediately began rummaging below the bar.
Finally, after a lot of mixing and blending and adding curly straws, Quark placed a frozen red drink in front of Jadzia. “There, an ancient drink from Earth I’m sure you’ve never had. I may be the only bar in the world that serves it!”
Jadzia took a small sip from the straw, and the syrupy taste was unmistakable. She sighed.
“This is a slusho, isn’t it,” she lamented. “I’ve had it before at a baseball game with Benjamin. Apparently they are a baseball staple.” Jadzia slumped into her hand, sipping forlornly at her cherry slusho.
Quark shook his head. “Alright, what’s this really about?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you so depressed!”
“Oh, I’m not depressed, Quark. I’m just bored! It’s been so calm around here, there’s nothing to do!”
Quark grabbed a towel and began wiping down the bar. “Lieutenant! You’re looking at this all wrong! Just think of the 35th rule of acquisition: Peace is good for business. Look at the bar! I’ve never seen it so crowded!”
Jadzia was unmoved. Sure, the bar was lively tonight--it seemed like everyone was there. But it was just drinks, darts and Dabo. More of the same.
“I know what will cheer you up,” Quark said, moving around the bar to sit next to Jadzia. “How about some betting?”
“I’m not in the mood for Tongo, Quark.”
“No, not Tongo! Something new. A personal wager, just you and I.”
Jadzia straightened up. “You have my attention.”
Quark tapped at his chin, dramatically thinking. “Let’s bet on...oh! Let’s bet on who will win the next Dabo!”
“Oh, c’mon, Quark, that’s no fun. Besides, you’ll just rig the table to clean me out. I need something that we can both rig. Something that will last a good long while.”
“Well, fine. What about...how many drinks I sell tonight? Most accurate guess wins! And you can even order something, throw off my number.”
“Quark! Come on! Something that doesn’t have anything to do with your bar.”
Quark wrinkled his nose even more and sighed dramatically. He was starting to get annoyed. He looked to Morn, who was in his usual spot at the end of the bar. “Morn! Can you believe this? Dax won’t go in on a wager with me, a perfectly fair one!”
“That’s not true, Morn!” Jadzia called. “Quark is rigging the bets. And they’re all boring besides. I want something fun, something that may take a while. Where the variables are unpredictable, and there’s lots of them. A test of skill, not chance."
Morn’s eyes grew wide, and he opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Quark.
“Then a test of people skills, we’re both charming, in our own ways, aren’t we? You have your...bluffing skills. And I have my charisma. Let’s test that, then. Plenty of variables!”
Jadzia turned to Morn. “Morn, what do you think? It does sound good, but we need a way to test it that’s fair. Maybe who can convince someone of the stupidest lie. Oh, that’s no good.”
Morn opened his mouth again, but Jadzia continued.
“Or maybe who can get someone to eat the worst food? No, too easy. What about...convince someone to break up? Oh, but that will only end in tears.”
Morn gave it another try, this time leaning forward in his chair before he spoke.
“Morn!” Jadzia exclaimed. “We’ve got it! We’ll bet on which of us can get the most unusual couple together!”
“Matchmaking?” Quark said, an evil grin already starting to spread across his face. “Well, I often say a bartender’s job is to push things along, help a few lost souls find each other. But what do you mean, an unusual couple?”
“Well, it will be no fun to matchmake a couple that we all know are bound to wind up together. Let’s try to get two people together that no one ever expected!”
“Well, that’s all subjective,” Quark argured, “who’s to say what’s unusual or not, I’ve never been one to judge something like that. A customer is a customer, and two customers are better than one!”
“We’ll have Morn decide,” Jadzia said, nodding. “He’s a man of honor, and he knows a thing or two about relationships.”
Quark eyed Morn, who was no longer paying attention, and had returned to his drink. “Fine. Whoever can get the most unusual couple together, according to Morn, wins 50 pieces of gold-pressed latinum. Deal?”
Jadzia held out her hand. “Deal.”