Chapter Text
"So here's the plan," Reki said excitedly as he and Langa made their way out the front doors of their favorite ramen shop, skateboards in hand and bellies full. "I've counted up everything we've been saving the last six months and if we stay at the cheapest hostels and walk a lot, we should be able to hit up almost thirty different skateparks between Tokyo and Kagoshima."
Langa was nodding along beside him, listening intently as the two dropped their boards and shoved off down the street.
"And," Reki continued, "if we're really good with our money, we might even be able to extend the whole trip. Not like either of us has anything to worry about except work."
Because they no longer had to concern themselves with school. Six months prior, they'd officially graduated. And while their peers were studying away at university, or preparing for their second attempts at the entrance exams the following January, neither Langa nor Reki had taken said exams. They were free to do as they pleased, no educational obligations blocking their path. Instead of attending classes, they'd been working. And Reki had been planning. Planning a very in-depth tour from Tokyo all the way back to Okinawa, where he and Langa would hit up as many skateparks as they could, living life on the cheap and spending time wherever they saw fit. Langa had sort-of helped with the planning, but he was rather terrible at reading maps, so Reki had done a brunt of the work.
Which was fine. He was happy to do it. A whole month (or more) of just him and Langa skating and going places neither of them had ever seen before. Together. No little sisters to get in the way or interrupt, no parents around to barge in unannounced, no early school days to take into consideration when they wanted to stay out late. Just him and his best friend and their shared love of skateboarding.
Reki couldn't imagine anything more perfect.
Well, he could, but… best not to entertain such impossibilities, especially on the cusp of spending over a month alone with Langa. Better to just shove all those fluttering butterflies back into his stomach where they belonged.
"We're just taking our backpacks, right?" Langa asked as the two of them jumped a curb and crossed the street.
"Right," Reki said. "That way we only have a carry-on for our flight from here to Tokyo. And I made sure that every place we're staying at has a washer and dryer so we can do laundry if we need to." Since they'd likely only be taking one or two sets clothes.
"Have you already bought our tickets?"
"No. I finalized everything last night, so I figured you could have a look at the itinerary and if it checks out, I'll go through and make all the reservations."
Langa was nodding again, a small smile pulling at his lips as they rolled slowly beside each other. It was a smile that had Reki grinning, before he leaned over and bumped Langa with his shoulder.
"This is gonna be so fun," Langa mumbled, sounding almost shy about it, which stretched Reki's grin into a full-blown smile. Before he ducked his own head somewhat timidly, chewing on the inside of his cheek and trying not to look as nervous as he felt.
"I was also thinking that—" he started quietly, "—that since I planned this trip, maybe… maybe early next year, you could… plan one."
Langa turned to him curiously.
Shrugging one shoulder, Reki stared down at his board. "In the early spring maybe, we could, um…" His cheeks flushed. "We could go to Canada or something."
Langa's mouth dropped open only slightly, that softness remaining in his expression. Before the corners of his eyes crinkled, some of that shy smile beginning to crawl back into place.
Only to be overtaken by cracking, wide-eyed horror a second later, as he came to a skidding halt.
Surprised, Reki nearly stumbled to a stop as well, flailing before turning back to Langa, who was gaping fully now, staring off ahead as if he'd seen a ghost.
"What?" Reki asked quickly, more than a little worried. "What is it? What happened?"
"Canada…" Langa said simply.
"What about it?" Reki asked, self-consciousness taking hold. Should he not have recommended Canada? Did Langa not want to go to Canada with him? Was there something wrong with Canada?
"I have to go to Canada," Langa said, voice breathy.
"Well, I mean, we don't have to go if you don't—"
"No, I have to go to Canada!" Langa interrupted, looking suddenly pained as he released a despairing groan and sank down into a crouch atop his skateboard. "I completely forgot."
Reki still didn't understand. "Forgot about what?"
"My Aunt Odette is getting married in December," he muttered, sounding absolutely devastated. "My grandparents bought a plane ticket for me to fly out there early, since they know I'm not in school and they haven't seen me in over two years."
"Oh…" While it'd be lame that Langa would be gone in December, Reki didn't quite get why it was such a big deal.
"Three months early," Langa continued.
"Three months?!" Reki gawped, before counting back on his fingers. "But that's, like…"
"Next week…"
"Next week," Reki repeated quietly.
"They made plans for it when my mom and I first moved here," Langa admitted. "That's why I forgot. They've been planning the wedding for over two years and the venue wasn't going to be available till this December."
"So… you're going to be gone in Canada for three months?" Reki asked quietly.
"I'm so sorry, Reki," Langa continued, standing and reaching out to lay his hand on Reki's arm. "It's been so long, I completely forgot about it. And you've been working so hard on this trip…"
Right, because if Langa was leaving for Canada the following week, then their trip at the beginning of November was as good as cancelled.
"It's fine," Reki lied, forcing himself to smile. He didn't want to make Langa feel worse with how absolutely crushed he was by this news. "We can just postpone it till you get back. Like I said, I haven't made any of the reservations yet. I'll just… shift everything to January or February or something."
"I feel like a complete asshole," Langa said, looking no better despite Reki's assurances. "You've been working so hard on this trip and—"
"And all the places we're going will still be there when you get back," Reki reasoned. "Seriously, it's okay. I'd probably have forgotten too, if someone had made plans that far in advance."
"I could leave later," Langa persisted. "My grandparents will refund the ticket and reschedule my flight for after our trip. Three months is a long time to be gone anyway and—"
"You can't do that," Reki said gently. "You haven't seen them since you moved here—they're probably super excited to see you."
Gaze dropping to the sidewalk, Langa pursed his lips, expression nearly as shattered as Reki felt. Which was kind of comforting, in a weird, demented sort of way.
"And you should be excited too," Reki added, wanting desperately to make Langa feel even a little bit better, no matter how bad it made him feel in turn. "It's been just as long since you've seen them. I'm sure you miss them."
Swallowing hard, Langa looked torn, but inevitably nodded. Dropping his hold on Reki's arm, he turned and snapped his skateboard into his hands, before pulling it up and holding it so tight that his knuckles paled beyond even their typical whiteness.
"It's only three months," Reki continued, desperately trying to make it all sound better than it was. "That's only… a quarter of a year…"
Well, so much for lightening the mood.
Three whole months? Langa was really going to be gone that long? What was Reki going to do without him that whole time? When he'd mentioned the wedding, Reki had figured a week or two at most, which had still sounded crappy, but three months?
Reki was used to spending nearly every day, all day with Langa by that point. How would he get through ninety days without him?
"Why… Why so long?" Reki asked quietly. "Three months is…"
"It was all figured out before we moved here," Langa replied. "There wasn't any expectation that I'd…"
"What?"
"That I'd care about leaving."
Oh…
"It was before I met you," Langa continued, voice somewhat strained. "Before skateboarding, before… everything."
Everything that had come to define their friendship—that had made them practically inseparable these last two years.
"Well, like I said, everything will be the same when you get back," Reki reasoned. "And then we can go on our trip."
Slumping, Langa nodded.
They were quiet the whole way to Reki's house, their skating lacking in much of its typical playful energy. And while Reki mentioned as they went to his bedroom that Langa should still look at the itinerary—because they'd be using it later—it was a rather depressing endeavor in comparison to how exciting it would have been prior to the Canada news.
"Yeah, it looks good," Langa said softly, after having a critical look at the schedule sitting open on Reki's laptop. Before he scooted back against Reki's bed and wrapped his arms around his folded knees.
Watching him for a few seconds—staring at the way his whole expression drooped, gaze distant—Reki eventually found himself scooting back beside him, until their thighs were brushing.
Forcing yet another smile, Reki brought up his arm and wrapped it around Langa's shoulders. "C'mon," he encouraged quietly. "You get to see your family. That's good, right? And I'm sure you've probably got loads of friends back in Canada that will be thrilled to see you again too." An idea that dropped a rock into Reki's gut.
Truth be told, he had no idea what Langa's life had been like prior to him living in Okinawa. He didn't talk about it much and Reki tried not to ask because Langa always looked a little… upset, when it came up. But given how popular Langa had been at their school, and was at "S," Reki assumed he must have been much the same back in Canada.
Yet…
"I didn't really have any friends back in Canada," Langa admitted quietly.
Reki blinked stupidly, surprised. "Really?"
Langa shrugged. "I'm not good at that kind of thing, you know that."
"Well, I guess, but…" But Reki supposed that, despite Langa's popularity, the only person he hung around with was, well, him. Him and their "S" friends, but that was only on Friday nights.
"My grandparents live out in the country anyway," Langa continued. "Not exactly close to town or anything."
"So…" Reki grimaced, "no skateboarding?"
"They have a basement and the driveway," Langa replied. "But… I probably won't skate anyway."
"Why not?"
His blue eyes flicked up to meet Reki's own. "It won't be fun without you."
Not for the first time, Reki's heart was sent flipping in his chest.
Truth be told, he was somewhat… lost… on how to interpret some of the things Langa said to him. Though he was a quiet personality, Langa was also incredibly earnest. He didn't always say everything out loud, but when he did, he really meant it. Yet, despite how direct he could be, Reki was still uncertain what, exactly, was going on between them. They were best friends, he knew that for absolute certain, but Langa had also said he wanted to "infinitely skate with him," back when they'd been making up during Adam's tournament.
At the time, Reki had been shocked by such a statement, or the implication behind it. Initially, he'd assumed such words had been a sort of… confession. As in, Langa had been confessing to… liking him, or something. As more than a friend. It had never really crossed Reki's mind prior, the idea that he and Langa could be something more intimate than friends. Which was why he hadn't jumped on it the second it'd happened. He'd spent a month sorting out his own feelings before finally discovering that, yes, he did, in fact, have a crush on Langa.
But, by the time Reki had settled his own perspective, they'd fallen back into their regular routine. Langa hadn't pursued anything further and Reki had felt uncertain attempting such a thing himself. So he'd… waited. And waited. And still, nothing. Which was why he'd come to the conclusion that perhaps he'd read the entire situation wrong in the first place. Langa seemed perfectly happy being only best friends, thus it was Reki who was on the losing end, having entertained something more only to be dropped back down into reality. Now he had this huge crush to contend with all the time.
Not even just a crush. More than a crush.
Sometimes, he thought that maybe he was even…
But he couldn't tell him, not if Langa had never intended for his original words to be a confession. Such would certainly mess everything up between them and that was the last thing Reki wanted. He could live with his feelings, he was certain, and skateboard "infinitely" with Langa as his best friend—that was fine.
He could settle for that. Had to. Should be grateful to. Someone as talented and amazing and… beautiful as Langa was willing to commit to doing even one thing for "infinity" with him—he should consider himself lucky.
And yet…
It won't be fun without you.
That was definitely a friend thing. There was no reason Reki should read anymore into it. Langa was just very honest, that was all. Besides, he was right—while Reki loved skating, it was definitely going to be way less fun without Langa around for three months. Sure, he'd skated alone for years before they'd met, but now that he was used to having Langa around…
"You'll have fun doing plenty of other stuff," Reki replied, jiggling Langa's shoulders some and trying, again, to cheer him up. "You know, fighting bears and murdering trees for maple syrup—whatever it is you Canadians do."
Finally, he managed to pull a small smile to Langa's face.
"And like I said, everything here will be exactly the same when you get back, so… it'll be like you'd never left at all." He wasn't sure who he was trying harder to convince, Langa or himself.
"You'll text, right?" Langa asked.
Reki cocked a skeptical eyebrow. "You hate texting." At least in Japanese. He'd gotten better over the last two years, but it was still somewhat of a struggle. Much as Reki's ability to speak English had improved drastically, even if he couldn't read or write well. Generally, they kept their texts to simple stuff—times and locations, that sort of thing.
"I know, but…"
But he was going away.
For three months!
And so suddenly too. Reki hadn't even realized that he'd need, what, time to mentally prepare for such a thing?
So lame…
"Yeah, I'll text," Reki said quietly, voice somewhat choked, causing him to clear it loudly.
"Every day?" Langa asked, before abruptly reaching out and taking Reki's hand.
Which was… a bit shocking. Shocking in the same way Langa's tackling hug at the end of his race with Adam had been the year before, and the one time they'd fallen asleep together in Reki's bed after "S," and when he'd lounged in the grass with his head in Reki's lap the month prior. Small, far-apart moments that sent Reki's heart into his throat for reasons he couldn't quite articulate.
"Yeah," Reki agreed, daring to turn his hand over so they could link their fingers together, his heart surging once more. "Every day."
Their hands… Did they… Did it mean…?
Not that it mattered. Reki didn't have the courage to ask. He just sat there, holding Langa's hand and dreading the upcoming week. The excitement he'd had for their trip was now gone, replaced instead with horrible anxiety.
What was he going to do for three months without Langa? Rationally, he'd do the same things he'd done before they'd met, but…
That felt so much more depressing now.
The last week the had together went by so much faster than Reki wanted. He tried his best to slow it down—to take deep breaths whenever possible and soak up every moment, but it came and went anyway. The whole time, a cloud of what was inevitable hung over them. Reki tried to push through it, to smile and do all the things they normally would, but Langa's increasingly dejected attitude made it difficult. It was like this progressively horrible weight was added to his shoulders every day, until, on the final afternoon before he left, Langa was so heavy that he didn't even want to skate.
It reminded Reki strikingly of the first day he'd ever seen Langa. At school, before they'd even talked, not after they'd met outside Dope Sketch. It was something Reki hadn't even realized he remembered until Langa started to retake that same attitude. That down, distant sort of glumness.
"You'll be back before you know it," Reki said, forcing himself to be chipper even as his whole heart felt like it was crumbling. They were sitting in the grass outside the local skatepark, Langa holding his board in his lap and sitting so close to Reki that their knees brushed. "It'll be fun. You'll see."
"Yeah…"
"Langa." He said his name in a near-scolding manner. "You'll be with your family—you should be excited."
"I guess…"
His words had no effect, Reki's already weak smile faltering.
"Don't you miss them?" he dared to ask.
"Of course, but…"
But…
Reki didn't know what the "but" was, and Langa didn't continue.
"Text me when you get off the plane, alright?" Reki started anew. "And send me pictures—I don't know what Canada looks like."
"It looks normal."
He elbowed Langa lightly in the side. "Just send lots of pictures."
"Alright."
They didn't say goodbye. Not like a person was supposed to when someone they cherished was going to be gone so long. It was… too hard. Instead, they said their typical farewells when night fell, as if everything was normal. Reki hesitated in place only shortly after they did their dap, before he smiled and forced himself to turn away.
He should have hugged him. He should have hugged him for a long, long time and he regretted not doing so the moment he was alone. Regretted it so much that he had to reach up and wipe the tears from around the edges of his eyes, before they could do something as embarrassing as streak down his cheeks.
He didn't sleep well that night, and when he got up in the morning and headed out for the day, Langa didn't come to meet him.
Because Langa was gone.