Work Text:
Okay, that’s the monthly report done. I’ll have to send that to Byakuya tomorrow morning. It’s way too late to email it to him right now without looking unprofessional. Now to look at our storage—wait, have I checked my email yet? The Future Foundation might have sent an important update. Oh, and I need to schedule the next doctor’s appointment for Nagito soon—
Opening yet another tab to accompany the 20 tabs already sitting on his laptop, Hajime reached one hand over to take a sip of his lukewarm coffee, while another hand continued to fly across the keys. The clicking of the keys and the whirring of his laptop provided Hajime with a sense of purpose and activity in the unsettling silence of the night.
Each day was the same for Hajime. He’d wake up early in the morning, grab a much too small breakfast from Teruteru (much to the chef’s chagrin), then make rounds throughout the island. He’d check to see if anybody needed help, and if necessary, he’d pull a talent out of his head in order to do it. Earlier today, he’d already used 5 talents to help fix the A/C system with Kazuichi, spar with Peko and Fuyuhiko, and reorganize the pharmacy storage room with Mikan.
Using too many talents at once could hurt his head, but he didn’t have time to rest, because once the events of the day were done, Hajime would retreat back to his cabin to get on his laptop, and start the next brunt of his work: writing regular reports and sending them back to the Future Foundation, as well as doing other things that needed to be done online.
This is fine. I feel fine. I just need to get some of this done, and then I’ll go to sleep.
But as he stopped for a moment to stare at the multitude of Google Chrome tabs, he felt an unexplainable feeling of apprehension rise in his chest, making it slightly more difficult to breathe. Hajime didn’t want to call it anxiety; it wasn’t as if he was nervous about anything. But what was this feeling?
Now was not the time to give it some thought. He pushed the feeling down before it could consume him, and resumed checking his email. He needed to get this stuff done. Everyone on the island and at the Future Foundation depended on him. He couldn’t let them down.
Yet, as he clicked open his email and saw only the hundreds of already-read ones, Hajime suddenly felt his vision begin to blur. He blinked to try and wake himself back up, but it did nothing; the corners of his vision began to darken, and his brain began to shut down. As his breathing became slightly labored, Hajime felt the apprehension in his chest balloon further, only making it even more difficult to breathe.
Distantly, he heard what sounded like the door of the cottage opening, but before he could think about who it could possibly be, his forehead hit the desk in front of his laptop.
His last thought, as his eyelids began to droop, was: I… I need to… ask Nagito if… he took his… meds… yet...
Before he knew it, he was out cold.
-
Hajime woke up to the feeling of hands pressing up below his armpits, and the sound of strained grunting by his ear. He furrowed his eyebrows, and tried to gain his bearings. It seemed like… someone was trying to carry him? His armpits kind of hurt. Upon hearing the person continue to struggle, he opened his mouth to tell them to stop, that he could get up himself.
“Mmmrnmn…” Hajime eloquently mumbled.
The hands below his armpits stopped, and Hajime felt one of them move to brush his hair away from his forehead.
“Hajime? Are you awake?”
“Mmm… Nagi…?” Ah. He must have gotten back from his reading session at the library with Sonia. They always tended to read late into the night.
“Oh, thank goodness.” Nagito’s arms enveloped Hajime in a comforting embrace. In his sleepy delirium, he immediately hugged him back, unashamedly nuzzling his head into the taller man’s shoulder. He would have opened his eyes to see his boyfriend, since they hadn’t actually talked all day. Much to his dismay, they quite literally refused to open. He settled for asking Nagito questions instead.
“Nagito… why were you trying to carry me...?” Hajime felt Nagito shift his arms to put his hand on the back of his head, softly running his metallic fingers through the brown strands. As much as he admired his strength in recovery, Hajime knew that the other man was way too weak to be able to carry an entire person. Even if he had already gone into remission, he was still healing.
Nagito’s soft and raspy voice vibrated against Hajime’s cheek. Unusually, his tone was a mixture of worried and slightly accusing. “Because I came back from the library, and found you passed out at your work desk with your laptop still on at 2 AM. I couldn’t let you sleep like that.”
In an instant, Hajime opened his eyes, and snapped back to reality.
I have work to do.
Now fully awake, Hajime pulled his head out of Nagito’s shoulder, and squirmed out of their embrace. Ignoring Nagito’s worried expression, he opened his laptop back up (thank god Nagito had left it on) and typed in the passcode to get into his home screen.
“Thanks, Nagito. You can get ready to go to sleep first, I’ll be there in a second. I just need to get a few more things done.” He kept his voice steady.
After a beat of just the clacks of the keyboard, he felt Nagito’s arms wrap around his chest, pulling him in. The white-haired man settled his head on Hajime’s shoulder, looking at his screen to see what he was working on.
“Haji… can’t this be done tomorrow? It’s 2 AM, you need to get some sleep.” He felt a gentle kiss plant itself on the scar on his forehead.
I have work to do.
“I’ll be done in a minute. I’m not tired, I promise.”
It was at this moment that the blue light emanating from his laptop screen began to pierce his eyes. His eyes began to sting, and he reached a fist up to rub at them.
Nagito gripped the front of Hajime’s shirt a little tighter. “As much as I want to believe you… I can tell your eyes need rest. All of your body needs rest. You’re tense.”
I have work to do.
The voice in his mind persisted like a mantra, filling his head while Nagito voiced his worries into his ear. The sounds of both voices, combined with the clicking of his keyboard, created a headache in Hajime’s brain. He felt his chest grow tighter as the feeling of apprehension from before rose, threatening to consume him again.
“Look, I-I just have to schedule your doctor’s appointment, and check a few more things, and I’ll be done, okay?” But this time, his voice wavered, and Hajime was suddenly very privy to how hot the surface of his laptop felt from hours of use.
“How many is a few more things, Hajime?”
I have work to do.
“I know!” He whipped around, causing his boyfriend to immediately step back from his chair.
“H-Hajime?” Poor Nagito raised his hands in a placating gesture, worried expression now filled with nervousness. Hajime would have felt a little more guilty, had this feeling of stress suddenly not balled up and hit him in the back of the head.
“I know I have a lot to do! You don’t need to remind me!” Hajime turned away, and pressed his hands against his temples, rubbing and trying to get his headache to go away. But his headache wouldn’t go away, and his chest was feeling tighter, and he couldn’t breathe—
In a burst of exhaustion, he slumped back in his chair, curling up into a fetal position and rocking himself back and forth. His breaths became quick and short, and his eyes scrunched back shut.
“I… I know, Nagito,” he halfheartedly got out for the last time. He was too weak to put any more spunk into it.
After a moment too long in the tense air, Hajime felt Nagito move to sit beside him in his rolling chair. What was he doing? The both of them couldn’t fit.
“Haji… Haji?” At Nagito’s nickname for him, Hajime felt his eyes sting. This time, it wasn’t from the light of the laptop.
“Haji.... can you look at me, buttercup?”
With Nagito speaking like that… Hajime couldn’t refuse him. He slowly raised his head from his knees, and opened his eyes.
When they made eye contact, a soft, relieved smile graced Nagito’s lips. It was at this moment that Hajime realized… it had been so long since he had actually gotten a good look at Nagito. His white, unruly hair was tied up into a low ponytail, so that it laid in pretty strands on his left shoulder. His usual white shirt, with the strange red symbol on it, still looked a little too loose on him; his collarbones still protruded, but… he didn’t look gaunt, like he had when he first woke up. His cheeks looked fuller, and… were those freckles dusting his nose?
As Hajime took the time to examine Nagito, his breath began to slow.
Hajime had been so busy looking at his laptop screen these past few weeks that he hadn’t even noticed such a detail. Such a beautiful detail that showed that Nagito was healing. How could he have missed it?
His love reached a pale hand up to brush away at the tears that had begun falling down Hajime’s face.
“Hey, buttercup… I’ve missed you.” Nagito shifted himself so that he was sitting in Hajime’s lap, and wrapped his arms around his neck.
Even after Hajime had snapped at him, Nagito still was so caring. Hajime’s eyes stung even harder, and he buried his face into Nagito’s chest, inhaling the light lavender scent of his body wash.
“I-I’m sorry. I missed you too,” Hajime croaked. He tried to stop the tears, but for some reason, they just wouldn’t. He was probably getting Nagito’s shirt damp.
“...let’s get you to bed, okay? I think you need some rest. You won’t be able to work anyways, in this state. Please don’t argue anymore, Hajime.”
“I… yeah, okay.”
As Nagito got off of his lap, and they stood up to hobble together to their bed, Hajime laughed a little, despite the wetness on his face. He couldn’t help himself.
“...buttercup? You… you haven’t called me that in a while.”
Nagito smiled, and let out a raspy laugh of his own. God, Hajime loved his natural laugh. He’d loved when he started hearing it more often, after Nagito had finally begun to improve, and feel happier. He missed it so much. He’d been too busy working these days to spend time with him, to appreciate his laugh enough.
He needed to do better. That included taking care of himself, so that he could fully love Nagito as much as he could.
“Well, I think it’s a nice nickname for you, don’t you think, Haji? It suits you. Unless you’d prefer the original ‘tsun-tsun hair’?”
“Shut up…” Nagito laughed again at his weak protest, but didn’t push any further.
Once they made it to the bed, Nagito laid down first, and reached his arms out, beckoning for Hajime to come to him. Hajime immediately plopped down and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, burying his face back into his chest.
7 months ago, the feeling of hugging Nagito like this might have made Hajime afraid. Back then, the boy’s figure had been so thin that Hajime had to be careful lest his body crumble in his arms. But now that Nagito had finally gained some weight, cuddling him, and feeling the plush flesh that had developed on his hips, gave him such a warm feeling of comfort.
A feeling of comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time, since Nagito nearly always went to sleep before he did, nowadays.
Hajime pulled Nagito in tighter. He needed to savor this feeling while he could.
“Ko… have you taken your meds?”
A slight pause.
“...yes.”
That pause was much too long for comfort. But Hajime found that he was too exhausted to check if he was lying.
“... make sure to take care of yourself, okay? I’ll… I’ll schedule your doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”
“The kettle is calling the pot black, Hajime.”
Hajime winced. Of course Nagito would say that.
“You need to take care of yourself too, buttercup. I’m sure much of the tasks that you need to get done can be given to our other friends on the island as well.”
“But—”
“To tell you the truth, Hajime, I’ve been worried about you,” Nagito lamented, moving back to look at Hajime and rubbing the rest of his tears away. “Everyone has been worried about you. Sonia brought it up with me today, and asked me to make sure you were getting enough rest. I would have done this with or without her request.”
A pang of guilt stung Hajime in the chest. He wanted to meet his responsibilities and everyone’s needs, but… he hadn’t realized he was worrying them. “I… I’m sorry. I should have checked in with you guys more.”
“You can make it up by taking a break tomorrow. You have a list of tasks, right? I can look at it and see if the others can help with them tomorrow. Just leave everything to me, okay, Haji?” Another kiss, gently planted on his forehead.
He had so much to do that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to let anyone else do it, but...if there was anyone on this island he trusted most, it was Nagito.
“...okay.”
With that, Nagito pulled Hajime back to his chest, and reached a hand up to pet his hair. He began to hum a soft tune; the one that he always sang to Hajime whenever he was having trouble sleeping. While he didn’t know where it was from, Hajime found solace in it nonetheless, and his eyelids began to droop.
His last thought, as he fell into slumber with Nagito’s low voice vibrating against his cheek, was: I should ask Nagito sometime where that song is from.
But for now…
“...I love you, Nagito,” Hajime whispered, feeling his consciousness slip away by the second.
And when Nagito paused his tune to softly whisper it back, Hajime was already asleep, enveloped in a warmth that, no matter how long he spent without it, would always feel safe and familiar.
-
Nagito hummed, closing his eyes and letting his tune waft through the air. While Nagito himself was unsure where his song came from, it was the only memory he held from his childhood that didn’t feel unpleasant or bittersweet. His mind couldn’t seem to let it go. However, its melody always seemed to soothe Hajime to sleep, which Nagito appreciated.
After a few more minutes of humming, Nagito slowly moved back to see if Hajime was asleep.
He was. His eyes were closed, and his mouth set into a peaceful line. Nagito smiled as he brushed Hajime’s spiky brown bangs back from his forehead, and laid a kiss on his freckled nose.
Like this, with his brown hair in front of his eyes… he really did remind Nagito of a little buttercup.
As gently as he could, Nagito extricated himself from Hajime’s embrace to leave the bed. His boyfriend snuffled a little, reaching for a pillow to replace his absent cuddle buddy, but remained asleep.
He walked over to Hajime’s work desk, and put his hands on his hips. The laptop was still open, though its screen had long gone to sleep due to inactivity. A plain, white mug of half-drunk, cold coffee sat inconspicuously next to it on a brown coaster.
Nagito sat down, and tapped the laptop so that the lock screen came up. The blue light immediately stung Nagito’s eyes, making him blink. He entered in the passcode, the combination nearly second-nature to him now: 04280101.
There, on the front page, was Hajime’s infamous To-Do List, all written in an intimidating spreadsheet. There were a lot of tasks, but the top read:
❐ Write up, copyedit, and send monthly report to the Future Foundation.
❐ Requires Writing Prodigy Talent: Help Makoto write up and copyedit PR announcement for their upcoming fundraiser. **Due in 1 week.**
❐ Check email to see the latest update on the outside world.
❐ Go to Rocketpunch and Pharmacy to check inventory.
❐ Submit request to Future Foundation for needed items.
❐ Touch base with Makoto, Kyoko, and Byakuya on current standing with the Future Foundation. **Tuesday at 6 PM.**
Then, a task that seemed out of place:
❐ Check if Nagito took his meds, and schedule his next D’s appointment.
Then, there were the 20+ tabs sitting innocently on his Google Chrome, all squished together in efforts to make room for the other.
Nagito sighed, scratching his left arm. No wonder Hajime was exhausted. Even if you had all the world’s talents loaded in your head, there was no way one person could possibly try to do all of this without spontaneously combusting. Hajime was Nagito’s hope, but as much as Nagito hated being selfish, he couldn’t be everybody ’s hope at once. As hopeful as they were, he really wished the Future Foundation would get off his boyfriend's back for once.
A few months ago, Nagito might have slapped himself for thinking such things. Funny how time (and therapy) could change things.
Nagito closed his eyes, and let the gears in his brain turn.
Since the report was already done, Nagito could just send it in an email for Hajime tomorrow morning. Hajime was a paranoid email-checking addict; there was evidently no significant update on the outside world yet. As for inventory, he could ask Twogami to take that on; other than Hajime, he was probably the most dependable and calculating person on the island. Mikan could probably also check the Pharmacy’s supplies to see if anything needed replenishing. Once they did that, Nagito could ask them to report back to him, so that he could submit the request for needed items. That would leave Hajime (once he’s taken his break) to do the PR announcement and the meeting with Makoto, Kyoko, and Byakuya.
He opened his eyes, and smiled. That should be efficient.
As for the last task…
Nagito disliked doctor’s appointments. The doctor’s office, with its white walls and its equipment, always felt suffocating. It also required that he leave the island, and Nagito always felt like it was more trouble than it was worth. The doctor herself was always nice enough, but... Nagito also didn't like the smell and feel of her latex gloves. Everything about the doctor's office reminded him of the hospital that he stayed in before the simulation, while he still had lymphoma, and that was never a pleasant memory he liked to revisit.
However, Hajime always insisted that he get regular check-ins on his health, and if it would lift the stress off of his chest… Nagito would gladly take care of himself.
(He also didn’t want to be a burden, but Hajime wouldn’t like him thinking like that, now, would he? Old habits do die hard, unfortunately.)
After preparing the email draft with the monthly report, Nagito typed in the doctor’s website to schedule the appointment. Next Saturday at 3 PM would probably be fine.
With everything said and done, Nagito turned off the laptop and closed it with his metal hand, finding satisfaction in the sound it made as it clicked shut, and the newfound darkness of the room without the blue light. The only source of light in the room was the soft moonlight shining in through the window.
Then, he walked over to the bathroom, and spilled the contents of the mug down the sink, rinsing it out. Reluctantly, he took out his meds from the cabinet. The bottle rattled as he pushed on the cap, and then pulled it open. He couldn’t very well go to sleep letting his white lie to Hajime remain a lie, now, could he?
After he took his meds, Nagito crawled back into bed, and wrapped his arms back around Hajime, spooning him close.
Tomorrow would be another new day. And for Hajime, that new day would mean rest. Nagito would make sure of it, because Hajime had already done so much. For him, and for everyone else on the island.
Hajime had been an integral part of Nagito’s healing process. Nagito wanted to be the same for him. And no matter what the other boy thought, there really was no need for him to overwork himself.
Nagito kissed the back of his boyfriend’s neck, and settled his face into his brown hair, breathing in the refreshing pinewood scent of his shampoo as he fell asleep.