Work Text:
‘Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place.’
Robert Brault
Shouto can’t move his hands. As if there’s iron shackles binding his wrists. He hears a familiar voice call out, it’s condescending, no, disappointed. Come on, break out, if you’re not strong enough to beat this you won’t be strong enough for what’s next. He struggles, until his wrists are sore, and bleeding, but the shackles don’t break. So he stops moving and tries to think.
Where is he, anyway? He doesn’t recognize this place, or does he? He’s standing on a path in the woods, maybe the same woods where the training camp was held. Blue flames lurk somewhere in the distance. The fire is spreading, he can feel it. The heat is rising. It’ll be here soon.
“Bakugou?” he asks aloud, Bakugou was here, then. Until he wasn’t. Maybe he’s here now. No. If Bakugou was here, then he’d already know. That guy has no trouble being discreet.
He isn’t scared, not really. Not yet. There isn’t a clear threat. None of this is clear at all actually, so hazy and disjointed. The restraints make him anxious, but he doesn’t need free use of his hands to attack if someone comes.
“Tokoyami?” he tries again. He was there too. “Shoji?! Answer me if you’re out there.”
No answer.
So sad for you, Todoroki Shouto. This voice is different from the first. There’s someone behind him. He turns and only sees a shadow and a blue flicker. It’s getting hotter. He shakes against his invisible restraints as hard as he can but nothing happens.
The next thing he hears is the hissing of a kettle. But that makes no sense. It can’t make any sense. He’s burning now, having activated his quirk in distress, on his left side and he doesn’t even want to do it. Still, his hands don’t move. There are people, hidden in the dark. He just knows they can’t help him. No one can. He lives in a different world than they do.
“Shouto-kun,” a new voice, a third voice, appears and he turns towards it. “You’re dreaming. It isn’t really happening.”
“What?” the conflagration doesn’t stop, but Todoroki can consider what the voice is telling him even though his head is throbbing so much.
There’s something familiar about it. He hears a faint ringing and an echo. It’s your power, isn’t it?!
“It’s not real!” the voice implores again, and this time there’s a face to it, even though it, like everything, is so fuzzy and unclear. Green. “Just trust me!”
“Why should I trust you?”
“I’m your friend.”
“No, I wasn’t supposed to make friends when I came here,” Todoroki says, weak and so delirious by now that he thinks he might collapse.
“I know that! I remember. But you did, and not just me. So you can rest now. These villains won’t bother you anymore.”
“Midoriya,” Todoroki falls to the ground, like a marionette whose strings have been cut, and his eyes blink to a close. The restraints around his wrists have disappeared. “Why are you here?”
“Because... Shouto-kun,” there’s a nervous exhale, soft like sunshine and light summer rain. It’s sincere though, like Midoriya always, always is…
“I love you.”
- ❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
Todoroki Shouto wakes up happy. He wakes up happy because of a love confession that didn’t really happen. From a friend, who would definitely not say things like that to him, had he not been conjured out of Shouto’s own subconscious.
If he considers it, it’s actually the nicest thing his subconscious has ever put together for him. He gets really, really weird dreams sometimes.
They can hurt, or toy with his sense of reality. Pull his psyche in all sorts of directions. He hasn’t ever dreamt anything like this though. Was it hidden there, all along? Did some part of his mind that he didn’t even know about just want Midoriya to say these things? Midoriya doesn’t call him by his given name either, unless they’re in the field, did he want that too? Did it matter that it was Midoriya who said those things? Could it have been the same coming from anyone else?
He raps his knuckles against his own head, in a gesture that must look extremely stupid, were anyone looking at him. Hm. What else is in there that he doesn’t know about?
On the way to class he finds himself telling Kirishima about it. For no particular reason, he’s just there, and he’s super warm and easy to talk to. Easy to be around. He also, hopefully, won’t read too much into it. He’s the sturdy hero, right? That means he’s straightforward.
“I had an intense dream last night,” he says.
“Oh, dude, one of those dreams?”
“One of what dreams?” Todoroki asks, confused, then clarifies. “A nightmare.”
“Ah, okay. So not one of those dreams. What about?”
“I couldn’t move my hands, and there was a fire, but it wasn’t mine. Midoriya was there.”
Kirishima nods, thoughtfully, “Do you have nightmares a lot?”
“Yes,” Todoroki admits. “But not like this.” I’m always alone. No one’s ever come before.
Kirishima whacks him on the back, lightly, “Don’t think about it too much, man. You’re out of it now, it’s a new day. I’m glad you told me though, it’s very manly to express what’s going on with you like that.”
“Right, thank you,” he nods. “I’ll stop thinking about it.”
He doesn’t stop thinking about it.
It’s all he can think about when Midoriya comes close to him now. Which he does, terrifyingly often. Little touches here, and there. Casual glances, brushing against him in the hallway (once). Bumping into him with his tray in the cafeteria (twice). Midoriya sits close on the sofa, to talk. Not to Shouto alone, since the others are still there, but closest to him. Just the sound of his voice makes Shouto echo his dream in his head. He can picture Midoriya’s soft, pink lips sounding out the words I love you. Just like he did in the dream. It's so close to being real but it just isn't. It might be nice.
His subconscious mind wanted to hear that. It’s not that far-fetched, he reasons, when he watches him. It would be nice to be liked, or loved by Midoriya. He has a lot of amazing qualities. He’s strong, and brave, and he looks quite, well, nice. More than nice. He’s freaking jacked. Shouto’s traitorous brain offers. His freckles are adorable, he tries to continue on a wholesome note. Countable, like the stars. His steely expression when he’s resolved to do something is beautiful. Just like a true hero should be. Huh. Subconscious brain had wanted Midoriya to be Shouto’s hero too.
It’s also true that he wouldn’t be the only one in the class to like Midoriya that way. Uraraka did once, he knows that because Mina knew that and she told him. As Midoriya’s best guy friend (he didn’t realize that he was), he was supposed to let her know if Midoriya liked her back. Of course at the time he had said he didn’t know. He still doesn’t know.
Maybe Midoriya does. Maybe they’re secretly dating. They do spend a lot of time together. Shouto hates how much he hates that idea, even though it now seems somewhat likely. He shouldn’t feel anything but happy, since he wants Midoriya to be happy, right? Uraraka too. She’s a classmate, and she’s always been nothing but pleasant to him.
They always seem to be whispering about something secret, now, don’t they. He has noticed Midoriya taking Uraraka aside to tell her things. Sometimes he even glances Todoroki’s way right before he does, maybe to make sure he isn’t followed? Or something like that.
Interesting. Very interesting.
The Midoriya-Uraraka secret relationship takes the top spot on his theory list. Not because his conscious mind wants love from Midoriya, it doesn’t. This is only because he’s not getting anywhere with his theory about All Might and Midoriya. His mental tracks need somewhere to run, or they’ll do a little loop back to Endeavor, and the training room, and he’ll get all ‘early-Roki’ again or whatever Sero calls it.
Speaking of Sero, that’s the first person he asks about his theory. It’s a complete accident that Sero’s high when he asks. Or, not really. Since he is too. Blissed out enough to just talk as much as he wants. Tokoyami is there as well, and Shouto wonders idly if dark shadow is kind of like an unhinged friend you can never be rid of. It’s sort of like his parent’s marriage, no, not really the same. His father, not really shaped like a friend. Wait. This was about Midoriya.
“Uraraka and Midoriya, definitely, definitely something there,” he says.
Sero just laughs. Then blinks a bit, dazed. “You were serious ?”
Tokoyami stretches out his legs, and he just shakes his head and takes another hit.
“Come on,” Shouto sighs. “They’re always...together. Sometimes they whisper, they keep secrets. What’s the secret? I want to know.”
“You want to know, you want to know …” Sero stretches out the last word, and lets out the tiniest giggle.
“Yeah, I want to know.”
He gets no answers from either of them.
Midoriya doesn’t make any of this easier. He’s so kind and giving to all of his friends, that it’s just not possible to determine if his warmth towards Uraraka is definitely something more. There are only two people he acts differently with. The first is Bakugou.
They’re childhood friends, Shouto knows that much. But they also bounce off each other constantly. He’s never seen two people this involved in each other’s lives that seem to never have a normal conversation. It’s...a different dynamic. Midoriya’s concern and investment in this is obvious, while Bakugou’s is not. However chaotic they are together, something clearly works. Or they’d just stay away entirely. But there’s nothing obviously romantic here either. Or at least, he hopes not, for Kirishima’s sake.
The second person Midoriya acts differently with is Todoroki himself. He’s very attentive, even more so than he is with his other friends. He’s always running to be with him or include him in things. There’s nothing romantic there either though. Maybe Midoriya can just tell that without the extra push Shouto will stay on the sidelines. He is just that good and perceptive. With everything.
For example, Midoriya always offers some of his snacks if he’s eating in front of him. One particular evening he’s having what look like spicy chips, or just regular chips with really intense red food coloring, marketed to be spicy. It’s evening, and the girls have opened all the windows, so the wind is coming in, ruffling his curly hair. Looking at him like this, and watching his hair blow in the wind is giving Shouto a weird feeling, and he tries not to let his mouth drop open or something equally embarrassing.
Midoriya scooches closer to Shouto and asks, “Wanna share?” He says it with his mouth full, and it comes out a little garbled, but Shouto was staring anyway , so maybe they’re both being a little bit rude.
“Okay,” he agrees, but he knows that to anyone else he would have said no. ‘No’ is the polite answer. He doesn’t particularly like chips either.
It’s a really simple thing, sharing chips with someone on the sofa. It’s new though, to him. They don’t have junk food in their house. He’s almost never set foot in the types of corner stores where these are probably sold. Natsu probably eats them in college, along with instant noodles and other college-type food. Are these Midoriya’s favorite kind of chips? Are chips Midoriya’s favorite kind of snack food?
“What are you thinking about?” Midoriya asks.
“Whether this stuff is your favorite. Do they make All-Might brand potato chips? That would have been my guess.” He can’t hold back his honesty sometimes, he’s noticed that it can unnerve people. But Midoriya seems to take it in stride.
“They do, and the shapes are great, but the flavors are all wrong. That’s true of most all hero-themed food stuff though. With a few exceptions. Kamui woods pretzel sticks are pretty good. Hawks brand chicken wings are supposed to be good, according to reviews, but I haven’t had any. What kind of food do you think you’ll endorse one day? You could do cold soba, but there isn’t really anything about that food that can be themed around you or your powers. Although, soba can be eaten cold or hot. That could be something…”
“What food would you endorse?”
“Me? Uh...I don’t really know.” Midoriya has another chip, and his eyes widen with the prospect of his own hero-food. “I would have to really think about it.”
“Maybe something green,” Shouto says, his mind immediately jumping to broccoli as he considers the shape of Midoriya’s hair.
Midoriya nods, mumbling something, and then leans over Shouto to grab his notebook from the other side of the sofa, he’s close, so close, “Something green…”
Green indeed. Shouto falls asleep that night thinking about Midoriya and Deku brand matcha tea.
It’s only a matter of time before he spills his thoughts about his new theory to Yaoyorozu. They’ve become very close these past couple months.
He starts by rattling off all the little things Midoriya and Uraraka do together. All of their suspicious closeness. He doesn’t realize the irony of him saying all of this with his head in her lap, while she runs her fingers through his hair. She’s one of the only people who regularly calls him Shouto too, and they too spend lots of time together. Yet, this relationship is completely platonic. This is completely different.
“That’s really not enough to go on,” she says. “I mean, look at us, Shouto.”
“We’re the exception, then.”
“Shouto, do you like him?”
“Yes. We’re friends.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t, then.”
This is half a lie. Half not. Truthfully, he doesn’t even know what liking someone that way would mean. He isn’t sure he’s quite ready for something like that. If he even has time. They’re here to learn to be heroes after all. Wouldn’t it be a distraction?
If Midoriya asked though, he would let him. If Midoriya asked for a date, he would go. If Midoriya asked for a kiss, he would want to try it. That’s more than he would give anyone else. Maybe it’s time to at least do something about it.
Shouto has absolutely no idea how to do something about it.
He attempts to find the answer in the manga he borrows from Sero. It’s actually one he’s read before, but the only one with a significant enough romantic subplot that he can get directions.
Sure, there's still the problem of Uraraka and Midoriya's secret relationship that may or may not exist. But that is a problem for future Shouto to deal with. Not him.
According to the manga, if you think you like someone you should get to know more things about them. He flips through panels and panels of this guy watching the girl that he likes and then asking her about her home, and her parents, and her life before they met. That’s easy enough. He’d like to know that stuff about Midoriya. He can and should talk to him about the deep things.
After all, he can just ask and see what he says. That’s what you do in a fight, think about your move and then just make it. No hesitation. Can’t afford hesitation. Only the weak hesitate, that's what Endeavour had once said and not everything he said was crap.
Still. He does not ask. He tries to. He honestly does.
There are chances. They are alone, a number of times, in the lounge.
He catches Midoriya there at night once, but that time they don’t talk...
It feels weird to talk to someone at night when they look that frazzled. He doesn’t want to intrude on anything, but he also feels like he should provide something . So he just kind of sits with him, quietly, and nudges a glass of water at him. Midoriya drinks it, and nods his thanks. He shivers.
So Shouto sits closer to him, so his left side is pressed up closer to Midoriya’s and he warms him up, just a bit. Midoriya glances at him and mumbles something under his breath. He looks so much smaller tonight, than he usually does. It’s hard to tell why. Shouto wants to hold him. Knows that he can’t.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks. It’s the kind of stupidly obvious comment that Bakugou would blast him across the room for. Or at least yell. Even Bakugou is a bit softer when it’s night and it’s obvious peoples trauma keeps them from sleeping well.
“I wish I could,” Midoriya groans. “I’ve been trying to. Aoyama would probably say I haven’t gotten enough cheese.”
“Cheese?”
“Never mind!” Midoriya says hurriedly. “Sorry. Are you...can you sleep? I mean, did you come here because you couldn’t sleep?”
“I couldn’t sleep either, but I don’t think cheese would help.”
“No?” Midoriya laughs. “No I don’t suppose it would.”
“Hey, can I ask you about…?”
“Sure, anything,” Midoriya says. Like it’s easy. He smiles at Shouto and he makes him feel like he belongs. Like he’s not a jagged, sharp edge meant to be kept apart from everything and anyone else.
“The English homework,” Shouto chickens out. Because Midoriya’s hair is a mess in the middle of the night and it makes him even more pretty. Because he’s sleepy and he’s smiling drowsily and speaking in a soft, quiet voice meant just for the night.
“Tomorrow?” Midoriya blinks his eyes. “I don’t think I’m that good for anything intellectual right now.”
“Yes. Of course.”
It’s hard to leave. Both because Midoriya doesn’t say anything more (which is weird for him). And because if Shouto leaves, it will be cold again and Midoriya will shiver. He shouldn’t have to. Midoriya gets hurt so much for everyone else, Shouto should stay and make sure he feels good right here, right now.
So Shouto stays right there, like a statue, pressed so close against Midoriya that he starts to have those weird fluttery feelings in his gut again. Midoriya inspects his own hands, for a long time, glancing at Shouto, and then back at his hands. They’re rough and scarred and Shouto wonders what they would be like to hold. Probably nice, uniformly warm. Steady.
What are they doing?
After a while Midoriya starts looking drowsier and drowsier. Then he leans his head against Shouto’s shoulder, sinking into his warmth. The corners of his mouth twitch up into the smallest of smiles. His eyes close finally, completely. If Shouto couldn’t move before, he definitely can’t move now. Or maybe ever again.
He shakily puts an arm around him, and let’s Midoriya rest against the warm side of his chest. Finally, his father’s quirk is good for something. It’s not long before he falls asleep too.
In the morning, he’s careful to get away before anyone can see them, but not before he memorizes the feel of the moment. The two of them together like that. It’s softer than he’s ever been permitted to be. He doesn’t ever want to forget it.
Another chance to talk comes when they’re playing cards in the lounge. Jirou deals, and she’s also the best at telling when someone is bluffing. Must be the little minute vibrations people make when they lie, or something like that.
Bakugou is a surprisingly good card player, since he seems equally angry when he has a good hand and a bad one. Midoriya is easily the worst of the bunch, his emotions written right on his face. It’s obvious when he has a bad hand, because of how much more he talks, when he has a good hand his eyebrows scrunch up something fierce and he gets that determined look.
“Oi, nerd,” Bakugou snaps at him. “Give it a rest already! You’ll be broke by morning.”
“We’re not playing for real money, Bakugou,” Yaoyorozou points out.
“Shut it, ponytail!”
“Fine, fine,” Midoriya puts his cards down. “I am a little tired of this. I’ll just watch from over here.”
“I’m finished too,” Shouto announces, dropping his cards.
Mina and Sero exchange a knowing look.
“Dude!” Kaminari’s eyes practically pop out of his head, ‘You had a really good hand too!”
It doesn’t matter. For his part, he’s won enough rounds that this has gotten a bit boring. He joins Midoriya to watch the rest play.
“Kacchan always wins at everything, huh,” Midoriya muses.
He does that all the time, Shouto notices. Compliments and awe about Bakugou. Before now, he’s never particularly cared that much. But today he cares, for some reason. Today, he’s mad about it.
“I was doing way better than him,” he contradicts.
“You were very impressive too,” Midoriya says quickly, an amused smile on his lips, and suddenly Shouto feels a little childish.
“It’s just a game.”
“Did you have fun?”
“It was fun.” Why would it not be? I spent the entire time winning, and watching you.
“I had fun too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When it’s something like this it doesn’t really matter to me if I win. It’s nice just to see all of us together. Without, you know, anyone being under attack, or anything. Not that I have a pessimistic point-of-view! I just appreciate it more when we get to have this.”
I never had this. Shouto wants to tell him. Games with other kids, just sitting in a circle laughing and talking together. Maybe it would be weird to say, but Midoriya would understand. He always does. Clearly. He appreciates it too.
He says nothing though, and doesn’t even take the chance to ask Midoriya more. About his past, about what he likes. He just shifts back onto the sofa and puts his feet into Midoriya’s lap. Hoping that it’s fine for him to do so.
Midoriya lets him stay there, he even leans his arms forward and holds his phone over Shouto’s legs. The casual closeness of the contact makes Shouto's heart skip a beat.
Midoriya takes a picture of the group of kids on the floor playing cards, “For my mom,” he explains to Shouto.
“Oh.”
“Can I take a picture of you?” Midoriya asks, shyly, a blush coloring his face.
“Okay. But why?”
“She wants to know what I’m up to, who my friends are. She’s never really gotten the chance to see many of you unless we’re all injured or something’s happened. She worries, too. A lot, actually. I worry her.”
“Take the picture,” Shouto says. “Should I smile?”
“No,” Midoriya says, “You’re perfect. I mean, you’re fine making whatever expression.” What.
He’s really glad Bakugou is currently shouting, because that means that only Shouto heard that. Him. Perfect. He’s been referred to like that before, but in a context he didn’t like. It’s never been said when it’s so harmless, when it means something else, something nice. Not perfect for a particular use . Just perfect as in fine. Huh.
Should Midoriya really be saying such nice things that could possibly be taken the wrong way when he's maybe dating Uraraka? Something in his heart sinks.
Shouto tries to smile though, the position feels a bit unnatural on his face. Too wide, he wonders if he smiles like Mr. Aizawa. He hopes not. That smile is familiar to them all now, but it’s...interesting.
“Wow,” Midoriya mouths as he snaps it. “I mean. You always look so photogenic.”
“I do?”
Midoriya puts his phone down, “Yeah. Um. Don’t worry about it.”
Shouto worries about it. He worries about it so much that he becomes absolutely determined to follow the directions in the manga and take an interest in Midoriya’s past, his life. Even more so than before. He will ask him. He will .
It worked during the Sports Festival, so why not try it again now? Shouto corners Midoriya in a hallway, alone. This time though, Midoriya isn’t a stranger. He’s not scared about what Shouto might say. He seems a little anxious, sure, but happy enough. Just confused.
“Did you need something?” Midoriya asks, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“You,” Shouto says without thinking.
“Me?” Midoriya points a finger towards himself.
“I wanted to meet you so that I could ask about you, before. I’ve been trying to, but I couldn’t.”
“Before…”
“Before U.A.,” Shouto clarifies. “You already know about me. Mostly.”
“ You want to know about me ?” Midoriya’s eyes widen.
“Sure,” Shouto says, and it comes out softer than he wanted to show. "Of course I do."
“Um...there’s not really that much to tell. I lived with my mom, I went to the same middle school as Kacchan. I was always really interested in being a hero. I guess I was really average, in a sense? I don’t feel like anything really special happened. I spent a lot of time keeping up with heroes and their work, and trying to analyze what they did. You already know about my notebook.”
“It was always just you and your mom?”
“Yeah,” Midoriya does that thing where he looks at the ground and scratches the back of his neck. “I had, or have? Have a dad, obviously. I don’t remember him, though. Midoriya is his name too, so that’s one thing I remember about him. That’s it.”
It seems to bother him, Shouto notices, that he doesn’t know any more.
“Where is he now?”
“Who knows?! I don’t know. Maybe he’s still in Japan? Maybe not. I—I...well...”
“It’s okay. Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked something like that,” Shouto fumbles over his own words trying to get that out. Maybe he’s gone too far with this.
“It’s fine if you ask. We barely knew each other when you said...what you said. You can ask if you want to know things. I trust you. So you can, if you want.”
His gaze is warm, and open. He looks like the sun, even with dappled sunlight glinting off his hair. Green and gold.
“I want to,” Shouto confirms, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Their talk turns into a walk and talk. They don't come back into the dorms until the sun is setting. Right before curfew. He walks Midoriya to his door, even though Mina has told him once that this has certain connotations. He doesn't care, he just likes to talk to Midoriya that much.
"Well, goodnight Todoroki."
He hates that name. He can still hear it in his mind, in the dream Midoriya called him Shouto. It was so nice. Maybe…
"Shouto," he offers. "You can call me that."
"Oh! Yes. You can call me Izuku then, if you want to."
"Good night, Izuku." He says. His heart thuds in his chest. Oh.
If there ever was any doubt, he’s sure that he likes Mid-Izuku, Izuku , now. Probably too much.
“Bakugou, do you know who Mid-Izuku likes? Or if he’s dating anyone?” Since nobody else seems to be giving Shouto intel about this, he reasons that Bakugou, who seems to keep tabs on Izuku all the time, would be a good enough source.
“Why in the hell are you talking to me Icyhot?!”
“I want to know the answer to the question I asked you,” Shouto explains.
“Why would I fucking keep track of who shitty Deku dates?”
“You keep track of a lot of other things concerning him. You’re obsessive about how much he’s improving when we train.”
“Shut up, half and half bastard! I don’t give a shit what he does!”
“Sorry.”
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best source of information.
“I can’t believe you of all people actually have to ask,” Bakugou scoffs as he walks away. “Fucking idiot.”
Or maybe not.
You of all people . Bakugou was perceptive, so what he said, even offhandedly, would be the truth. It meant that somehow, he, Shouto, was connected to Izuku’s dating life. Somehow. Could it be that it was Shouto that Izuku liked? Or was that just his own wishful thinking.
Maybe he just said it because people, including Bakugou, considered Shouto to be Izuku’s closest friend here. A close friend would already know.
Was he even considered attractive in that way? Dateable? It’s not something he had spent much time on considering before. It wasn’t even near to one of his goals. So why think about it.
If he asks someone though, it has to be someone who would be totally objective. Not someone who would veer too nice or too mean. Someone devoted to being completely constructive and willing to help give honest opinions. Someone by-the-book.
Iida.
“Would you consider me dateable?”
“Can I assume this isn’t an inquiry concerning the two of us?”
“Yes.”
“You are.”
“Why?”
“Why not? You’re tall, you were number two in the sports festival. People consider you handsome and you’re pleasant to be around.”
“Okay,” Shouto goes a step further, “How would I know if a specific person would date me?”
“Do I know this person? Are they in our class? As class representative I have a responsibility to make sure everyone is in emotionally healthy relationships.”
“That might be a little bit more than what your responsibility is.”
“It’s the duty of a hero to give 110%, Todoroki.”
“It is someone in our class.”
“Hmm. I won’t ask you to tell me who, and respect your privacy.”
“Thank you.”
“Have you tried asking this person if they want to date you? That seems like it would be the easiest thing to do instead of coming up with a plan that might just confuse both of you more.”
(Tenya Iida is right. But, as always, a true student of class 1-A, Shouto has a mind of his own…)
“Asking directly is not an option.”
The next thing he reads about in the manga is gifts. Specifically, the boy in the manga gives the person he likes a jewelled hair clip to hold back their hair. That’s something he could do too. He has Endeavour’s credit card, a free Sunday. It even makes some sense, Izuku’s hair is always getting out in front of his face, maybe he could pin it back. It would look nice.
He spends a long time at the store, the lady at the register assumes he’s buying for a girlfriend and he wants to roll his eyes at the assumption but doesn’t. (He has a way of judging people without even going that far, picked it up at the age of five, the neutral face of disappointment).
He looks at golden clips and silver clips and finally settles on a simple looking silver one, with tiny green beads. Even in the manga, the clip had jewels in it that matched the eyes of the person that would wear it. Even though they weren’t nearly as strong or beautiful as Izuku is. Shouto bites down on his lower lip as he pays, he hopes that Izuku will like it. That he can get in through the door without someone else seeing it.
Unfortunately back at the dorms he’s accosted by Sero, who figures him out instantly the moment he lays eyes on that clip. “Are you taking ideas from Haru no hana ?”
Shouto doesn’t feel like answering. Sero just knows though. Sero knows him.
“You are!” Sero gapes. “Who’s it for?”
“No one,” Shouto says. “How do you know that I won’t wear it?”
Kaminari comes and grabs it from behind, “You’ve already got a lot of colors going on in your hair, man. Green would make you a Christmas tree. It’s definitely for somebody else.”
“Hand it back,” Shouto demands.
“Come on,” Sero whines. “You’re going to drop 10,000 yen on somebody and not tell me who it is.”
“Fine,” Shouto says, “When he wears it, you will know.”
Kaminari pouts, but hands it back, “Okay, okay. We’ll give it back to you, but only because we want to see if this very mysterious person will wear this.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Shouto asks, suddenly concerned.
“It’s really nice,” Kaminari explains.
“That’s a good thing.”
“Maybe a little too nice , you see how we live around here.”
Now that’s true. Izuku isn’t really a fancy dresser. Maybe this was a mistake. Plus, there’s also the issue of the Uraraka-Midoriya secret relationship. If it does exist, then what he’s doing is super inappropriate, surely. He doesn’t want to be inappropriate or out of line. Maybe it could be just a gift from a friend then.
“Shouto, what’s that?” Izuku walks in.
“Shouto? ” Kaminari stifles a giggle when he’s silenced with a glare from Sero.
“It’s a clip for your hair,” Shouto hands it to him, wishing at this moment, that he wasn’t such a clueless rich kid, and could put the moves on someone in a normal way, and actually figure out whether or not they were dating someone else.
“What’s the occasion?” Izuku looks around, as if he’s expecting random people to burst out and say ‘surprise’ or something. “It’s not my birthday.”
“I know. That’s July fifteenth. This isn't for that. I just thought you would like it.”
“You know when my birthday is...You got me this because you thought I would like it?” Izuku mumbles.
“Yes.”
“Very manly of him too,” Kaminari adds, “As Kiri would say.”
Shouto watches Izuku pick up the pin, unhook it delicately, and use it to pull back the curls at the front of his head. Izuku’s eyes are all watery, and this was supposed to make him happy not cry.
“How does it look? Does it look weird? Should I go back and comb my hair maybe, before I put it in...my hair can get kind of crazy...”
“It looks surprisingly nice, considering you’re wearing a t-shirt and shorts with it—” Kaminari gets cut off by Sero elbowing him in the ribs.
“It looks really good,” Shouto says, transfixed. The clip sparkles just like Izuku’s eyes do. It’s so small and delicate while Izuku is strong, sturdy and firm. The green isn’t quite the same green as his hair but a little darker. That contrast looks good. Izuku looks happy, even though his eyes are big and moist, looking at Shouto like he can’t believe what he sees.
Why shouldn’t you believe it? You deserve nice things like this.
Shouto discovers very quickly why Izuku thinks he doesn’t deserve nice things like this.
It’s one one of their walks that Izuku tells him. They go on walks a lot now, in the evening, sometimes they go to ground Beta to train first, but afterwards it’s nice to just wander around in the open air. It’s not like they have a lot to catch up on, since they take the same classes and live in the same building, but it’s easy and fun to talk to him.
“I didn’t tell you everything, that first time when you asked me about me before I got to U.A,” Izuku confesses.
“So you are All Might’s secret lovechild?”
“No, no it’s not related to that!”
“Okay.”
“I wanted to be a hero really badly, and no one really believed I could be, then.”
“Why wouldn’t they? You have a powerful quirk. I don’t understand.”
“Yeah,” Izuku laughs nervously, “I know. I do. Well you know I’ve had a hard time controlling it. It was harder for me, I think that’s partially why. Maybe, my personality? Doesn’t really matter why, I guess. It bothered me a lot, that I wasn’t where I wanted to be.”
“They bullied you,” Shouto reads between the lines.
“I wouldn’t say bullied , necessarily, and I’m fine! It was worse to disappoint myself.”
“They did,” Shouto puts a hand on Izuku’s shoulders, “I know how strong you are. You don’t have to lie to me.”
“They didn’t mean to,” Izuku stares back at him fiercely, “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me either, that’s all in the past. All that matters to me now is becoming a hero who can protect people. I won’t let any of that stop me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re one of the strongest people I know. All I feel is that you didn’t deserve that. Do you feel sorry for me, because of what you know?”
“No, never!” Izuku says, his eyes are shining, “I think you’re amazing! I look up to you as someone I should surpass. Your technique, your drive, everything.”
“That’s it?” Shouto wonders, a little hurt. He thought they were past, just that.
“No, I…” Izuku reaches up to tuck a strand of white hair behind Shouto’s ear. “I do like other things about you.”
“Other. Things,” Shouto repeats, stupidly.
Is this a moment? Is this one of those moments? Can he reach out and grab what’s just out of reach, maybe just this once.
“These walks,” Izuku says, blushing something fierce, “I like going on these walks with you. You’re really great to talk to. You’re funny. Sometimes you don’t even mean to be. But I like that. You can be super insightful. I guess, I’m trying to say I like being with you.”
“I like being with you too.”
Izuku steps closer. In the distance the sun is setting. Curfew soon. But Shouto doesn’t care. Fuck curfew. Fuck everything that isn’t Midoriya Izuku, standing so close, saying he likes being with Shouto. It’s too much and not enough. He wants to be even closer. Pull Izuku into his arms, because he belongs there. Shit . He’s belonged there for a long, long time. It would be easy to do it now. The light shines off of Izuku’s face, it gives his hair a straw golden glow.
But…
“Uraraka,” Shouto says suddenly. He can’t do that to her. He can’t hold or kiss Izuku if they’re together. It would be a terrible thing to do, as a friend of hers, a terrible position to put Izuku in. Embarrassing for him too, since Izuku would have to deny him. Because Izuku would never be the kind of boyfriend to cheat. No. He can’t.
“What?”
The moment’s broken.
“Nevermind, we should get back to the dorms. We don’t want to miss curfew.”
“That’s true,” Izuku looks down at his feet, so Shouto can’t see his expression. “We wouldn’t want to miss, well, that.”
Enough is enough. If he can’t ask Izuku about the potential secret relationship (and none of his other friends will tell him), he realizes there is someone else he can ask. He puts it off as long as he can, after he gives Izuku that clip. Then meets her in the hall outside of their homeroom.
“Can I ask you about Midoriya?” he asks Uraraka, prepared to hear the worst.
Uraraka clamps a hand on her mouth, “Who told you?”
Oh. Oh no. It’s true then. Uraraka and Midoriya are together. It feels like he’s been doused by icy water. His brain just grinds to a halt. All of his fantasies cleaved into two. It’s a clean, bloody slap. The back of his father’s hand all over again.
“No one told me,” he says, even as his jealousy rises in his chest, making him want to snap at her even though she’s done nothing wrong. No, control. “I figured it out.”
“How long have you known??” she asks. “Does he know that you know?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says, a bit more coldly than he meant to, then, “Sorry. I have to go.”
He avoids Izuku after that. He knows that it isn’t fair to him to do so, since Izuku didn’t know that Shouto liked him. It’s just easier that way. In doing so, he inadvertently withdraws from the rest of them too. Kaminari is the first one to call him out on this.
“So why are you being all cold again?”
“That’s half of my quirk.”
“Come on, why are you avoiding us?”
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“You are though,” Kaminari crosses his arms over his chest. “I notice these things. Is it Bakugou, did he say something? You can’t take that personally man, I never do. Deep down, he cares.”
“It’s not him.”
“Then it is something!”
Fuck. “No, it isn’t.”
“I didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for you.”
“Your whole stoic and cool-hot routine has never made any of us uncomfortable! A bit jealous, maybe, at times. Since so many people seem to dig it. But not uncomfortable.”
“My what routine?”
“Wait, why did you think we would be uncomfortable?” Kaminari rubs at his chin. “Did you and Midoriya break up or something?”
“ I was never dating Izuku.”
“No. Way.” Kaminari’s jaw drops, “You...you think? Oh, shit. Here. Why don’t you just talk to him? I promise it’ll make all of this make sense.”
“He doesn’t have to explain himself to me,” Shouto says. “No one does.”
He lives in a different world than they do.
The next time they walk into homeroom Izuku tries to come talk to him. Shouto avoids this too, hoping to put off an awkward talk for as long as possible. He makes a beeline for his desk, but he notices, even while Mr. Aizawa is talking, Izuku keeps looking at him.
Maybe Uraraka has told him by now that Shouto knows about the two of them. Maybe Shouto would be better off just paying full attention to the lesson instead of giving himself more grief about this. It does nothing but hurt anyway.
“A villain will not always be out in the open, waiting for you to get them. In fact, if they are rational, and they know they don’t stand a chance against you, they will run and hide once they know you’re there,” Mr. Aizawa explains.
Iida’s hand shoots up, “If such a situation occurs, would it be better to start a chase immediately, or hide yourself so you can approach unseen?”
“Both at once,” Izuku mutters.
Shouto glances at him, pushes his feelings aside, and considers what he said. Maybe you could take the chance to get out of a villain’s field of vision, and still get closer. But it would be pretty difficult. Neither he, nor Izuku have quirks that help with stealth at all. Izuku can move quicker than most, he’s noticed that, but the movements are still loud. For his own part he figures he’d have a better chance freezing the ground to try and trap anyone who ran.
“It depends on the situation,” Mr. Aizawa answers. Then moves on to explain their exercise of the day.
They will simulate looking for people hidden in a metropolitan setting. They’ll go to Ground Beta, where half of them will play a team of villains, and the other half a team of heroes. The villains will hide, while the heroes will be tasked to find them.
“Wait. This is just hide-and-seek,” Kaminari points out, once they’re at Ground Beta, ready to assign the teams.
Mr. Aizawa just shrugs, “It’s similar.”
“Well we’ve all had plenty of practice with that,” Kaminari smiles. “This’ll be a cinch.”
Oh. Shouto hasn’t.
The teams are divided as follows:
Villains (hiders)
Todoroki Shouto
Midoriya Izuku
Jirou Kyouka
Shoji Mezo
Tokoyami Fumikage
Iida Tenya
Mineta Minoru
Heroes (seekers)
Ashido Mina
Bakugou Katsuki
Kirishima Eijirou
Hagakure Tooru
Koda Koji
Kaminari Denki
Uraraka Ochaco
Yaoyorozu Momo
It’s an interesting breakdown. Shouto can hear Izuku mumbling about it immediately. The people who are the best at search and rescue, Jirou, and Shoji are deliberately hiders. The person who would be the best at hiding, Hagakure, is a seeker.
“Have you ever played hide-and-seek?” Izuku asks, blinking his eyes at the direct sunlight. It’s the first time they’ve talked in days.
“No, never,” Shouto answers, a lump in his throat as he remembers having seen the game played, just slightly out of his reach, as most of the things he wants tend to be. “But the concept doesn’t seem that hard.”
“Hey I’ve been wanting to talk to you…” Izuku trails off as Mr. Aizawa starts talking again.
What was he about to say?
The way the game will work, the entire class will start in the same place, a central location, then the seekers will close their eyes, giving the hiding team five minutes to move as quickly as they can and find a place to hide. The hiders don’t get any time to strategize where they might hide. Just a spur of the moment decision.
The moment the timer starts, Shouto knows going indoors would be a better bet than staying outside in the opening. He sees a high-rise building in the distance, and runs towards it. He’s not really paying attention to where any of the others are going.
He runs up the stairs, and keeps going until he’s on the sixth floor. Then he settles himself into a broom closet and waits. A minute to spare.
Then why does he hear the sound of footsteps? Did someone follow him here? Or did someone else just happen to think about the same hiding place, on the same floor, in this same building out of all of Ground Beta?
The door opens.
“Shouto? Oh. Oh no. What are the odds? Okay, I’ll just find somewhere else then.”
“Stay, there’s no time. If you leave now you’ll be out in the open.”
“Right, okay,” Izuku sits down, across from him in the closet and pulls the door shut so it’s dark.
Shouto creates a flame in his left hand, so they can see each other, “Did you follow me?”
“No, I just happened to think this would make a good hiding spot. I didn’t see you go in, I swear.”
“Oh.”
There’s barely enough space for two people in this closet. He’s way too close to Izuku than he should be. Especially given what he knows now, and what he wants. Izuku looks as nice as always by the light of his fire. He thinks back to the first time he used it, in the sports festival. How freeing it had been, in that moment. Because of what Izuku had said.
“What happened, Shouto? Why did you stop talking to me? Did I do something?”
It’s not your fault you don’t like me back.
“We shouldn’t talk, Midoriya. It might give away our position.”
“Alright,” Izuku switches to a whisper, looking a bit sad at the mention of his family name, “I’ll speak as softly as I can. Please just tell me what this is about.”
Shouto lowers his voice too, then explains slowly, “I know. Uraraka told me.”
“She told you that I liked you?”
The flame grows a bit larger as it flickers in his hand. He hears the words again in his head. That I liked you. That I liked YOU. That I liked you. Then there are mental sirens going off. He’s such an idiot. Everything makes sense. Everything. Oh.
“No, I thought she was telling me that you and her were together.”
“We aren’t together, we never have been! Oh, jeez. I really messed this up, didn’t I? There’s only person in this class I’ve ever...really liked. I thought I was being obvious! Shit. I guess I’m not really being obvious even now. It’s you. It’s you who I like, Shouto. I can prove it, if you need me to, I must have sent about a million texts to people about how much I like you and how much I want—”
Shouto cuts him off by pressing an awkward kiss against his still open mouth. He squeezes his eyes shut when he does it, and he feels Izuku smile against his lips.
“I believe you. I want you too.”
Izuku smiles again, a little shyly, “Could you turn out the light?”
“Why?”
“Um. I’d really like to kiss you again, it’s in the way, and I don’t really want to get singed.”
Once it’s dark, it’s Izuku who leans in and captures his mouth in a searing kiss. Shouto can finally put his hands in that soft green hair. It feels just as soft as it looks, light and fluffy, like a cloud. Izuku swallows any half-heartedly mumbled concerns Shouto has about their position being given away. He fists his hands into Shouto’s shirt and makes him stop caring about anyone coming in, throwing open this door and finding them like this.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, before, that you had to think I didn’t want this, you clearly felt so bad, you avoided me for days, I should have known that you didn’t know,” Izuku wipes at his wet eyes, because of course he’s crying even while they’re making out. He cares so much and Shouto loves that about him.
“It’s okay,” Shouto says, a bit anxious to get back to the kissing. “You don’t have to blame yourself. I shouldn’t be so oblivious. Sometimes I can jump to conclusions.”
He hears a blast in the distance. They’re close to being discovered, maybe. Or a certain someone is just passing through.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think that’s just one of the things that makes you, you. I wouldn’t want to change you, you know? Not for anything.”
Don’t change either. I love you, just like this.
“I’m sorry I didnʼt tell you before. That I like you.”
“It’s okay, its kind of nice, in a way. To know that you care that much about me that you...waited.”
“I do.” So, so much.
“Of course,” Izuku laughs shakily, “There are better ways you could show me. If you’d be up for it. We probably still have a good few minutes before anyone finds us up here.”
That’s true. Shouto decides being found in a broom closet making out with Izuku isn’t the worst way for their relationship to be discovered by the class.
Whatever. Things hidden always have a way of being uncovered anyway.