Chapter Text
"Just like old times..." Madam Pomfrey mused as she checked Remus over. "How are you feeling?"
Remus sighed. How was he feeling? That was a loaded question after last night's events. So many questions bubbled up inside him. Were the kids ok? Where was Sirius now? Did he escape? What about Peter? Remus turned his head and saw a redheaded figure in the bed a few feet down. That would be Ron, no doubt, recovering from his broken leg. He wasn't sure if Harry and Hermione were there too, but he wasn't sure what he would say to them. Snape was nowhere to be found. Probably for the best. He didn't think he could face Snape right now. He knew Snape had suspected him all year. It made sense, Snape knew how close he and Sirius had been when they were in school. Of course, Snape didn't know the half of it.
Remus sighed. What a mess. He had built such careful walls around himself the last twelve years and now, they were threatening to crash down, leaving him more vulnerable than ever.
He felt a jolt of anger, too, but he wasn't sure who it was directed at. Was it Sirius, for leaving him alone? Was it Peter for betraying them? Or was it Dumbledore, who seemingly stood by and let it happen? Was it himself, for being so confused that he hadn't known what to believe and had thought the worst of someone he loved deeply? So many questions. He wished he was still under the influence of the sleeping draught. Oblivion was preferable to the questions.
***
Madam Pomfrey released him later that day. He went straight to Dumbledore's office. On his way, he heard whispering and felt the states of the students he passed. They knew.
"Remus?" Dumbledore said as Remus entered the office. "Have you recovered?"
Remus snorted. "Do you mean from my transformation or from finding out the person closest to me was wrongly imprisoned for twelve years?"
Dumbledore folded his hands. " I know you must be upset…"
"Upset? That's the fucking understatement of the century." Remus said, his voice rising. He hardly ever raised his voice, even with difficult students. He always took care to at least appear to be even tempered. But now, he couldn't.
"Yes, I guess it is." Dumbledore conceded. Dumbledore's blue eyes met Remus's green gray ones. "The evidence against Sirius was substantial. James and Lily told me they'd chosen him as their secret keeper. That was the last conversation I had with them. Then... blasting apart the street, killing those Muggles...there was no sign of Peter Pettigrew, but everyone saw Sirius. You know all of this, Remus."
"He didn't even get a trial. They could have given him Veritaserum." Remus said.
Dumbledore closed his eyes. "I know."
Remus wanted to keep shouting, but he couldn't bring himself to continue with Dumbledore looking so tired. " I have another, though related matter to discuss with you."
Remus sighed. "Ok."
"Well…" Dumbledore appeared to be weighing his words carefully, though Remus was sure he knew what was coming. "Severus was quite ...upset about the events of last night…" Remus waited. Dumbledore didn't usually stumble over his words in this way. "He told his house that you are a werewolf."
And there it was. Remus was not surprised; he'd almost been waiting for this to happen. "Well, then I quit. And not just for that reason." Remus said, evenly. He was keeping his impulse to shout under control for the moment.
"I was afraid you'd see it that way." Dumbledore said.
"What other way is there to see it?" Remus wanted to know. "I'm dangerous. We both know that."
"The potion seemed to help." Dumbledore said.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "It did. But do you really expect Severus to continue making it after last night?"
Dumbledore didn't respond right away. "He would, if I asked him to."
"That's not a chance I'm willing to take." Remus said.
Dumbledore knew he wasn't going to change Remus's mind. "I understand."
***
He went into his office with his suitcase and began packing his things. The Grindlow tank. The books. He’d returned the other creatures he’s borrowed to Hagrid, and to the forest. He wondered how long the line of Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers that only stayed for one year was. It had been that way when he’d been at Hogwarts. There were whispers about the job being cursed.
Harry came uncertainly to the door and Remus invited him in. He wished he'd gotten to see Harry’s Patronus, that he’d been working so hard to cast. He was glad he at least was able to give that to Harry, if not much else.
Once he was packed, he made his way through the castle one last time. It had been both a blessing and a curse to be back inside these walls, where he'd been the most at home, where he’d been happy, and eventually loved.
He walked slowly away from Hogwarts, into Hogsmeade, where he could apparate back to his place. Once in the familiar village, he had to stay focused to keep from imagining his younger self and his friends. He closed his eyes and apparated.
***
The flat in London was just as he’d left it. However, it had sat empty for close to a year so there was definitely some dust and other cleaning up to do. Using a mixture of spells and Muggle cleaning products, Remus got to work. The elbow grease needed helped him focus on the task at hand as he was trying not to brood over what had happened the previous night.
It was the same flat he’d shared with Sirius after they graduated from Hogwarts. This flat had seen them so happy, and then had been the site of Remus’s despair when he was left alone to pick up the pieces. He remembered with a pang the night when James and Lily told them they were getting married, and asked Sirius to be the best man. He remembered when Lily announced she was pregnant, then when James came to tell them Harry was in the process of being born. He remembered spending lazy Saturday mornings in bed with Sirius. But he also remembered the floor littered with bottles as he’d tried to drink away the good memories. When he’d thought he didn’t deserve them.
He’d wanted to move many times, but he never had enough money and even if he did, a part of him couldn’t let the home he’d shared with Sirius go.
An owl arrived two days later. The one he’d been hoping for and dreading in equal measure. He read it and immediately recognized the code they’d used during the war for apparating to different locations.