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“I’m late!” Sirius yelled, tumbling down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face while tugging on his other shoe and trying to tie his hair up at the same time.
“Calm down,” James said, pouring a cup of coffee at the counter. “Sit down and eat breakfast, you have to eat something before running out of here.”
“I can’t,” Sirius said as he quickly slipped his jacket on. “I promised Mary that I’d meet her to go over our presentation.”
“She won’t care if you’re a few minutes late. It’s Mary, she won’t be on time either.”
Sirius slung his messenger back over his shoulder, “It’s our final project.”
“Since when do you care about stuff like that?”
“Since now,” Sirius huffed, grabbing his keys from the bowl on the table next to the door. “I’ll be back, regular time, I’ll bring takeout.”
“I’m holding you to that!” James called quickly as the door fell shut.
Sirius checked his watch. He only had ten minutes. Shit.
Minnie’s was the best diner in town. It was a tiny, twenty-four-hour diner tucked in the center of town, with some of the best food known to man. The coffee was like drinking five red bulls with an actual agreeable flavor. But overall, the entire place screamed comfort. The tables were never sticky and the red vinyl booths were spotless, never having a stain or tear. The tables with actual chairs were never out of order. The ones unoccupied had the chairs pushed in and wiped down.
The constant smell of pancakes and bacon was heavenly. The mixture of clattering sounds of forks scraping across plates, cups being set down on tables, and Minnie herself calling out orders by the kitchen door never failed to make Sirius want to smile.
He sprinted to his regular table right next to the counter, quickly ordering a coffee on his way. It was a small table with only two seats, with Sirius usually occupying the seat facing the door. He grabbed a book out of his bag and opened to his bookmarked page. He would be lying through his teeth if he said he was actually reading it.
With a quick glance at the clock, Sirius knew it was almost time. It was a minute to seven-fifteen.
He grabbed the spoon sitting on his right and checked his reflection. He had left the apartment in such a rush he looked awful. His hair was a mess and his outfit was even worse. It looked like he had rolled out of bed, and yes, he had but that didn’t mean he wanted to look like it.
The bell rang above the doorway signaling that someone new had entered the diner. Sirius glued his eyes to the page of his book and willed himself to seem nonchalant, calm, and collected. He scanned a handful of lines, absorbing nothing but using the movement to make his act more believable.
“You have a new one today,” someone said.
Sirius allowed himself to look up. And when he made eye contact with the person who had spoken, part of him wished he had pretended to read a little longer to brace himself.
Remus looked gorgeous, as usual. He was wearing a green sweater and blue jeans with a heavy winter coat. His hair was an adorable disarrayed mess of curls that stuck out in odd places. There was a pink dusting along his cheeks and his nose was rosy from the cold outside. Sirius internally screamed.
Sirius knew that every morning, Remus parked across the street because he would never get there early enough to beat the rush, and actually get a parking spot in the lot behind Minnie’s. He would proceed to order two coffees to go and then walk back to his car.
Back to the person waiting in his car.
Sirius refused to think about that. He wasn’t flirting with Remus. Not at all.
Remus was great. He had everything that Sirius could want in someone. He was funny, smart, sarcastic, well-read, and easily one of the most gorgeous men Sirius had the pleasure of meeting. And more than anything else, Sirius liked him. A lot. It was kind of embarrassing but Sirius didn’t want to get into it.
On all accounts, Remus was perfect. There was just one problem, Sirius was pretty sure he had a girlfriend.
Sirius wasn’t completely sure, but he had a very strong feeling that the redhead that was practically glued to his side had more than a platonic thing going on. And he hated it. Because he liked a guy who was in a relationship. Taken. Committed.
Sirius was not a homewrecker. He was not.
It just so happened, by complete coincidence, that he would run into Remus every morning at Minnie’s at precisely seven-fifteen. They would make small talk and smile and then Remus would get his order and walk right back to his car where he would drive to campus for class.
“Yeah. I just started though.”
Remus grinned, “I think you’ll like that one.”
“One of your favorites, then?”
“ Death on the Nile ? That’s top ten at least.” Remus smiled. (He had a really nice smile. Sirius was hopeless.) “Really, anything by Agatha Christie is a favorite of mine.”
Sirius already knew that. Remus had said it before, how much he loved murder mysteries, but above all else how much he loved Agatha Christie’s murder mysteries.
“Who should I look out for in this one?” Sirius asked, placing his elbow on the table and resting his face on his palm.
“I am not spoiling that book for you.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, “It’s just a hint.”
“Whatever you wanna call it,” Remus said with a wave of his hand. “I’m not telling you a damn thing.”
“Remus, sweetheart!” Minnie called from across the diner. “I’ve got your coffee in the corner. By the door.”
“Thanks, Min!” Remus scanned around until he spotted two cups sitting on the corner of the counter closest to the door, “What do I owe you?”
“Nothing this morning,” she said. “Get to class.”
Remus smiled at her while he grabbed the drinks. He turned back to Sirius, raising one of his hands to wave goodbye as well as he could while holding a cup of coffee, “I’ll see you later.”
“You bet,” Sirius smiled.
Remus walked backward out the door, walking towards his car in front of the diner. From Sirius’ seat, he could see the girl sitting in the passenger seat of Remus’ car. Her red hair stood out against the boring silver of the car and the beige of the seats. Sirius had nicknamed her Red, for obvious reasons. Also because Sirius didn’t know her actual name, and he had no desire to. Red seemed best.
She smiled when she saw Remus walk towards her. He watched as Remus handed her a cup of coffee and put the other in the cupholder between them. He watched as Red said something that made Remus laugh. He watched as Remus glanced back at Minnie’s. Sirius looked away quickly when his gaze almost caught his own.
Sirius stared at his coffee that was still steaming and grabbed a packet of sugar from the container on his right. He dumped the contents in a stirred it with his spoon, grabbing his book and opening to his bookmarked page for the second time that morning. This time, however, he was actually planning to read it.
The day after, Sirius didn’t even have to pretend to be reading the book he was holding. He was actually reading it. Death on the Nile , as it turned out, was pretty good. Unsurprisingly, Remus gave good book recommendations. Another for the pro column. Sirius had stayed up most of the night with his eyes glued to that pages, he had to know how Linnet Ridgeway was murdered.
The mystery drove him to the brink of insanity. Usually, he was pretty good at working mysteries out pretty quickly. Even if he wasn’t exactly right about the ending, he was still close enough to call it a victory. His current problem was that he had no fucking clue how this mystery was going to end. Sirius was stumped.
Being so enraptured with the story, he didn’t hear the bell chime, or Remus ordering his regular two coffees. Or hear him walk up to his table. So when Remus said, “Good morning,” Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Jesus Christ!” Sirius yelled. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I could tell,” Remus said. Then he nodded towards the book in Sirius’ hand, “How far are you?”
Sirius smiled proudly, “I’m almost finished.”
Remus beamed at him, “That’s the best part! Jackie’s confession was insane.”
Sirius blinked a few times before speaking, “Her confession?”
“Yeah,” Remus nodded slowly, clearly confused.
“Jackie killed Linnet?”
Remus froze, “Oh no,” he muttered. “Oh my god, you’re not there yet, are you?”
“No!” Sirius cried. “How could she have even murdered her? She was with the nurse all night!”
“Oh my god,” Remus said again, eyes wide. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
“Remus.”
“I didn’t mean to spoil the book for you."
“Remus.”
“You should still finish it though. Cause, I mean, there’s a lot more that I didn’t spoil.”
“Remus!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus shut his mouth quickly. “It’s alright.”
“Let me make it up to you,” Remus offered.
“What?”
“I could buy you a coffee, sometime. If you’d like.”
Sirius’ brain seemed to buffer for a moment. There was no way that Remus meant it that way, right? Like a date? No shot in hell. “It’s alright, you don’t have to buy me anything. It’s just a book”
Remus nodded. “Well, then, uh, I’m going to go.”
Sirius watched as he uneasily grabbed the coffees and walked out of the door. Sirius was still watching as he climbed into the car, handing the coffees to Red. He watched as Remus dropped his head into his open hands and shake his head as soon as he put the coffees down. He watched as Red laughed, and ran a hand through his hair.
Sirius looked away after that.
“This is a project with Mary?”
Sirius turned his head as James walked closer to his table. And just like that, he was caught, and suddenly way more interested in his book than looking at James.
“She’s late?” Sirius said. The attempt was just pathetic but he still wanted to have a shred of dignity.
James gave him a look, one that made it embarrassingly obvious that he was not going to accept any of the bullshit excuses Sirius was undoubtedly coming up with.
“I was just sitting here and he wandered in.”
The look didn’t go away. It only got worse. The shred of dignity was starting to look smaller.
“It was a coincidence.”
It was still there.
Sirius sighed, “He comes in here every day at seven-fifteen.”
“To get coffee for him and his girlfriend.”
“I know.”
James was quiet. The bustling noises sounded around them, the grinding of coffee beans, the sizzling of bacon, and indistinct conversations from surrounding tables.
Sirius remembered the first time he and Remus ran into each other at Minnie’s. That time had actually been an accident. Sirius was up incredibly early and decided that as long as he was awake, he deserved breakfast.
He had been sitting at the same table he would later occupy every day, devouring everything on his plate when the bell had rung out into the noisy room. Sirius had thought nothing of it, but then Remus Lupin was practically standing next to him ordering two coffees to go.
“Sure, sweetheart,” Minnie had said. “Two seconds.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Min,” Remus had replied. “I owe you.”
“Pay your bill, that’s enough for me,” Minnie smiled, pouring the coffee out.
Sirius remembered inwardly losing his shit. There were multiple things competing for his attention at that moment. One, Minnie had never called him sweetheart. Ever. He tried not to be offended. It didn’t really work. Two, a coffee had sounded really good and he berated himself for not having already ordered one. Three, Remus Lupin was five feet from him.
He chose to pay attention to his third option.
Sirius had already known Remus before he started going to Minnie’s. They had the same literature class together the previous semester, but they didn’t talk. Remus sat in the last row of the classroom by the aisle, and Sirius sat in the front. Their professor, Slughorn, had demanded they be seated in alphabetical order so he might remember their names. But he had also called Sirius the wrong name constantly, so obviously, his system wasn’t working. He remembered wanting to talk to Remus, finding him intriguing with his messy curls and adorably hideous sweaters. If they did, by some miracle, have a conversation it was mostly small talk, complaining about professors, complaining about workloads, and asking how their weekends were.
Sirius had tried to talk to him more. Keyword was tried . It wasn’t supposed to be all that difficult to try talking to someone. Unless the universe really hated you. There were a few things hindering this almost perfect encounter. For one, Sirius had literally no reason to see him. Ever. From what he could gather, Remus was an education major. The only time they ever seemed to see each other on campus was during their shared lecture. It stayed that way until Sirius had stumbled into Minnie’s that fateful morning, half awake and hungover, craving pancakes so badly he was willing to kill a man. He sat down at a random table and watched Remus walk in, order, turn around, see him, and for some bizarre reason that he never really understood but was still intensely grateful for, smile at him.
The next day, Sirius got ready, actually showered, and went back to Minnie’s at the same time, sat at the same table, in the same seat, and ordered a cup of coffee. Shortly after, Remus walked in, ordered, and asked Sirius how he was doing. The rest of it just kind of happened.
“I just wanted to see him,” he said quietly.
James gave him a sympathetic look, “I get it.”
“Does this make me a stalker?”
“Maybe. A little?”
“Am I pathetic?”
“Of course not,” James answered immediately.
They got quiet again. Sirius wasn’t really sure whether he believed him.
“I just really like him,” Sirius said.
“I know,” James said. “But, Sirius, he’s got a girlfriend.”
Sirius bit his lip and nodded. It wasn’t right, he knew that, but he really liked Remus. A lot. A stupid, massive, insane, mountainous range amount. He had for months.
“I know,” Sirius said again.
James reached across the table and patted his hand. “Maybe you and I will try breakfast somewhere else tomorrow.”
Sirius nodded again, “Yeah,” he tried for a smile, but it came off weak. “Maybe.”
It was quiet again and Sirius was grateful that James didn’t try to make him talk about it more. Whether James agreed with him or not, Sirius felt kind of pathetic sitting at his table in Minnie’s. He felt pathetic that he had spent the last three months sitting in the same seat for a handful of minute-long conversations.
“I’ll buy you some pancakes,” James said.
Free pancakes made him feel less pathetic.
“And a coffee.”
The following morning, Sirius’ obnoxiously loud alarm rang out into the cold air of his bedroom. He groaned, rolling over and blindly hitting his phone screen until it stopped. He blinked his eyes open and checked the time.
Six-thirty.
Sirius stared at his ceiling.
If he wanted to get to Minnie’s in time and look halfway decent, then he had to get up and start getting ready. He could get out of bed and do the millions of things he had to.
He didn’t move.
James was right. This needed to stop. All of it.
Starting with Minnie’s.
That was the first step, right? Getting over Remus included not seeing Remus. That meant he couldn’t go there in the mornings anymore. He was done. Quitting cold turkey, as it were. That was it. He’d eat breakfast with James, and forget about Remus and his coffee.
He rolled over and went back to sleep.
This would be a good thing.
When he woke up again it was seven-fifteen. Sirius tried not to think of what Remus’ reaction might be to the empty chair. He tried not to think about what the picture of his empty chair and table would look like. He tried not to think about whether Remus would ask Minnie about him. He tried not to think what they might have talked about if he had gone.
He tried not to think at all.
Sirius was going to be early to class. Not barely on time. Not five minutes late. Early.
There was a first for everything. Apparently.
Sirius was walking to class, with a coffee in hand that tasted like crap. Leaving Minnie’s meant leaving the coffee. To supplement, he had started going to the campus cafe instead. To put it nicely, he hated it. The coffee was awful, it tasted like caffeine vomit, but at least it was caffeine. The interior was too brown. Wooden chairs and tables and walls. There was barely any character. The tables were a boring wooden dark brown, and the tables matched. It was boring, and it didn’t even serve real food. The closest thing to food were pastries which only helped in drying his mouth out, not diminishing hunger.
But whether he liked it or not, he couldn't risk Minnie’s anymore. His grand plan had been working all week long; he hadn’t seen Remus at all.
James was proud. He was the only one who was happy with this new plan. In a way, Sirius was proud his plan was working so well. Although a part of him wished that his plan would screw up and he would see Remus, just a glimpse of him.
He hadn’t, obviously. It was a Remus-free week. The first of many. Sadly.
He rounded the corner of the science building, which was his patented shortcut to the art buildings. He had to cut through the quad and then it was a straight shot through the liberal arts buildings. He wanted to get to class early to ask his professor what the ever-living hell was discussed last class because he didn’t absorb any of it. And by a miracle, he might be able to.
He was halfway through the quad when he saw him. Remus. Sitting on a bench underneath the largest tree in the center of campus. His head bowed, obviously reading the book sitting in his lap. Sirius watched as his eyes scanned the page, flipping it quickly.
Sirius briefly considered going over and saying something. He could walk over and stand next to the bench and ask Remus what he was reading. The roles would be flipped, maybe Sirius could spoil the ending for Remus if he had already read it. Maybe he’d scare him like he scared Sirius when he snuck up on him.
Sirius was distracted from his scenarios and started when he saw Red out of the corner of his eye make her way over to the bench. She leaned over the back of the bench, looking over Remus’ shoulder at what he was reading. Sirius watched Remus turn his head as the pair fell into conversation until Red walked around to sit next to Remus on the bench.
Sirius turned around and walked away. He’d find another way to get to class early.
Marlene ripped the blankets off of him. “Get up.”
Sirius groaned as he rolled over and mumbled, “No.”
He cracked an eye open to see Marlene stand above him with her arms crossed, looking annoyed. The blanket was a ball against her chest. This was exactly what he didn’t need.
It had been two weeks since he’d been to Minnie’s. A full week since he saw Remus in the quad. Sirius was grumpy. He was grumpy and tired and had a crap week, including a quiz he bombed in class because he didn’t understand what they were doing. He had drank crappy coffee, dropped his burrito on the ground during lunch with nothing else to eat, and lost his keys. So in summary, he had a shit day. Suffice to say, he was glad that the week was over. He intended to hibernate until Monday, if Marlene ever left him alone.
“Get up,” Marlene repeated.
“Can you just go away?” Sirius sighed as he closed his eyes again and willed for sleep to take him.
“No,” she said throwing the blanket across the room. “Now, get up.”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“And I don’t feel like dealing with the both of you sometimes, but I do it anyway. Get up.”
“No,” Sirius huffed again. He might not have had his blanket anymore, but he refused to let Marlene get her way.
“You’re becoming a real pain in the ass in your old age.”
“Please, I’m maturing like fine wine.”
Marlene heaved a sigh, “You’ve barely left the house for the last week. You’re all mopey.”
Sirius made an affronted sound but still refused to sit up. That would mean accepting defeat, he needed to keep Marlene humble and her ego small.
“I am not.”
“Are too.”
“I am not. ”
Marlene was quiet, but Sirius knew she was still standing there and weighing her options.
“You’re not moping?” She asked, sounding like she already knew the answer, but was just humoring him.
Sirius opened his eyes to make a face, “Of course not.”
“And you’re not hiding out here?” She asked in the same tone.
“Yep.”
“Then prove me wrong,” she said.
“Gladly,” Sirius huffed.
“Okay,” Marlene said. “Come with me to Lily’s party.”
There were a lot of things Sirius wanted to say to that. They ranged from can’t you just bud out? all the way to, “Who the hell is Lily?”
Marlene rolled her eyes, “She’s my friend, remember? The one in my gender studies class.”
Sirius stared at her, “You have literally never mentioned her before.”
“Yes, I have. Maybe, you just don’t listen to me.”
“Doubtful.”
Marlene opened her mouth to say something. The words died on their way out when James called out from another room, “Marls! When are we leaving?”
Marlene grinned and looked down at Sirius when she called back, “Twenty minutes!”
“Alright!” James called.
“I hope you and James have fun, cause, I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I don’t even know her.”
“Neither does James,” she said. “It’ll be two hours and then you can come back home and lie in bed and wallow in self-pity.”
“I don’t wallow in self-pity,” Sirius muttered, sitting up.
Marlene smiled in triumph as she nodded, “Sure, you don’t.”
Sirius walked over to his closet and looked for something to wear. “I hate you.”
Marlene was still grinning. It was getting on Sirius’ nerves. “Debatable.”
“Feels pretty close.”
“That’s actually reluctant gratitude. They’re pretty similar.”
Sirius grumbled the whole way there.
When they finally got to Lily’s apartment, whoever she actually was, the door was unlocked and Marlene guided them inside. Part of Sirius was excited to walk in, grab a drink and relax. The other part was silently counting until he could go back home and pat himself on the back for having gone at all.
It wasn’t that he disliked parties, he usually loved them. If Marlene had walked into his room two weeks ago and asked him to go with her, he would have been the first person out the door. But he was tired. He was tired and upset and he wanted to go home.
Two hours.
He had two hours and counting.
Marlene walked in first, James and Sirius following closely behind her. Sirius did a quick scan of the room. There weren’t any people he recognized. Fantastic.
They had been inside for all of two seconds before someone yelled, “You made it!” and suddenly in a quick blur of movement, Marlene was tackled in a hug. The pair of them stumbled and laughed as they righted themselves and pulled apart. It took Sirius a moment to see who it was.
Shit.
Could Sirius have worse luck? Why was his life such a joke?
The universe hated him. It really, really did. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have Marlene turning towards him and James and introducing him to Red.
“Guys, this is Lily, who I told you about. Lils, this is James. And that’s Sirius.”
Wonderful. Fantastic. Magnificent. Superb. Delightful. Sublime.
Lily. Her name was Lily. Her name. Red’s . Remus’ girlfriend. Remus’ girlfriend was Marlene’s friend.
And that meant that Sirius was standing in Remus’ girlfriend’s living room pretending he had no idea who she was.
Funny, how life worked out.
Hilarious, really, but Sirius was not laughing.
She smiled at them, and of course, her smile was perfect because life wasn’t fair, extending her hand. Sirius hesitated before James shook it first. “It’s great to meet you!”
James smiled, “Same here.”
She turned her attention towards Sirius and it was all the resolve he had to stand there and talk to her. It was better when she didn’t have an actual name. It was better when Sirius hadn’t met her and had only seen her through a window.
After a few minutes of talking to her, Sirius hated his life even more. Because she was perfect. Lily was funny and pretty, and smart. In the span of those five minutes, she mentioned Remus twice. “The party was Remus’ idea, surprisingly. He’s around here somewhere, I was just with him.”
“Remus?” James asked immediately, sparing a quick glance to Sirius. Sirius didn’t look back at him.
Sirius remembered that James didn’t know Remus, other than what he looked like from a picture Sirius had shown him a few times. Which meant that he didn’t know that Lily was Red, and the only other few things he knew about Remus, and by extension Red, were things that Sirius had told him. Like that Remus was ethereal and brilliant or that he was (suspected of) dating a redhead.
James must have made the connection. Judging by the way he looked between Lily and Sirius a few times. It was pretty easy to do, Remus was a pretty unique name and there weren’t a lot of redheads hanging around people named Remus. At least, that he knew of.
Sirius pretended not to notice James' worried glances and instead scanned the room. In the far corner of the apartment, slightly obscured by the swarm of people, he spotted him. Huddled with a pair of identical redheads, laughing. He looked nice. Really nice. His sweater was a dark maroon and he was wearing jeans. Nothing extraordinary. But he looked it. Extraordinary. The color red suited him.
At some point, he and James were handed drinks as James and Lily fell into a conversation that he wasn’t really listening to.
And just like that, two hours suddenly seemed like years, or a herculean task, and Sirius really just wanted to go home.
Otherwise, he would break. He would talk to Remus, or flirt with him, or do eighteen million things he had promised himself he wouldn’t do. The party was a mistake; it was the last time he would ever take Marlene’s advice or bait in an argument. Especially when all that did was land him at a party with Remus’ girlfriend as the host, smiling like they are the closest of friends.
He realized he was staring too late when he and Remus made eye contact. Sirius looked away immediately, tuning back into the conversation. He could feel Remus’ eyes still on him, and he forced himself not to fidget under his gaze.
Sirius wanted to do a lot of things. Stupid, impulsive, idiotic things. He wanted to look back. He wanted to talk to him. He wanted to go home. He wanted to chug the rest of his beer. Sirius also wanted to be the world’s best multitasker and do all of it at once.
He didn’t. Instead, he glued himself to his spot.
Sirius had enough practice pretending to not pay attention to Remus while doing something else. He stood next to James, and half-listened to the conversation he and Lily were having while zoning out, letting his mind wander. Knowing he was there was enough of a distraction, but knowing Remus was only half a room away and watching him was more than enough to make Sirius unable to focus on anything else. He tried, in vain, to force himself to pay attention to what they were saying, but it was all coming out in white noise.
There was only so much of it he could take.
“I’m going to get another drink,” Sirius announced.
Lily looked over at him and smiled. Again. Why was she smiling at him so damn much? “It’s just through there.”
As he weaved through the people, Sirius forced himself to keep his eyes ahead. He wouldn’t look at Remus. He wouldn’t check to see if he was still standing there if he was watching him.
When he went to walk into the kitchen, he stopped dead in his tracks.
“Hi,” he said dumbstruck.
“Hi,” Remus said back, leaning against the counter by the fridge, drink in his hand.
“I was just, um, grabbing, uh, a,” he trailed off and lamely pointed towards the fridge as an explanation.
Remus moved over wordlessly and went to sit on the counter.
“What are you doing in here?” Sirius asked when he shut the fridge.
“Hiding,” Remus shrugged. “It got a little too loud.”
“Do you mind if I hide with you?”
Remus smiled, shaking his head. Sirius lifted himself up to sit on the counter next to him.
“How are you?” Remus asked.
“Good, actually.”
Remus didn’t look convinced, “You haven’t been at Minnie’s in a while.”
Oh. Sirius should have seen that question coming. “Yeah, I know.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Spectacular,” Sirius said. “I’ve just been busy.”
It was quiet for a moment. Sirius took a sip of his beer, waiting.
“Reading anything new?”
Sirius laughed because, really, it was the perfect question. Conversation seemed easier after that. It flowed like it usually did, not forced but natural, like they were old friends. Sirius found himself getting lost in it all. The conversation, the proximity, the way Remus was talking with his hands. It was different, they weren’t in the diner, and it seemed weighted, important. Almost like there was a shift that Sirius could feel but didn’t really know how to name.
It was stupid. Nothing could have shifted, Remus wasn’t available anyway.
He stared at Remus as he spoke, the words were lost on him and the topic was long forgotten. Remus waved his hands around him wildly, paired with his words, spreading out to emphasize a point. It was mesmerizing.
Either that or Sirius had had too much to drink.
But he was so close. They were shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. Sirius didn’t want to move and have to give up the only chance at this proximity. Their voices had lowered and their words were quiet and soft. If Sirius didn’t know any better he would kiss Remus. He would lean forward the mere inches that separated them.
It took him a moment to realize that he had been moving closer. He and Remus were so close that Sirius could probably count the faint trail of freckles that dusted across the bridge of Remus’ nose if he wanted to. They were almost nose to nose. Sirius quickly realized that Remus’ eyes weren’t the light brown that he had thought they were. This close to him, Sirius could see that they were golden, looking so deep that he could drown in them.
Was that even allowed? Who allowed him to look that good? Who allowed him to look that good and be sitting so close to Sirius? Who allowed Remus to walk into Sirius’ life, and by extension Minnie’s, and turn everything he knew and thought and liked upside down and backward but make Sirius like it better that way? Who allowed him to be so wonderful? It wasn’t fair.
Sirius was almost there. He could almost feel Remus’ lips against his own, practically aching for it. Just a taste. Remus’ golden eyes flicked down to look at Sirius’ lips, then a second later were back staring into his eyes.
Sirius felt his insides melt because he was thinking about it too. It couldn’t just be Sirius’ imagination.
He wasn’t the only one who felt it.
Sirius could feel a ghost of a kiss, lips a hair’s width away from brushing, almost there but not fully formed. It was close. He just had to move forward. He just had to shift his weight and he would have it.
And as much as he wanted it, he knew he couldn’t just take it. Sirius moved backward quickly.
“Oh my god,” Sirius whispered, the spell of soft words and close contact was broken and reality came crashing down around him. What was he even doing? He jumped off the counter, putting as much distance between them as he could. “Oh my god.”
“Sirius,” Remus said, “it’s alright.”
“No. No, it’s not,” Sirius shook his head, “Oh my god.”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Because it’s pathetic!” Sirius exclaimed. He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face. “ I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re not,” Remus said firmly. In any other situation, Sirius would be glad he was so quick to answer or how protective Remus seemed when he answered that fiercely. In any other fucking situation.
“Yes, I am,” Sirius insisted.
“How could you ever be pathetic?”
“Because I like you!” he snapped in frustration. “A lot. And the only reason that I sit at Minnie’s every day is just to see you. And talk to you for, like, five minutes on a good day. It’s especially pathetic because you have a girlfriend. You have a girlfriend and I’m basically stalking you. So I stopped going every morning, cause I was going to avoid you. The plan was working! I haven’t seen you all week, and then Marlene wouldn’t shut up about this party that her friends were throwing. Forced me to come here. And you’re the host. So, here we are. Back to square fucking one. Except, now you know.”
Remus started laughing.
“I’m so glad you find this amusing.”
“I’m sorry,” Remus said, trying to make his face neutral but still smiling and pushing down a laugh. “But, you really think I have a girlfriend?”
“Well yeah. You drive her to campus every day .”
“Wha-,” Remus looked like he wanted to laugh again. “Do you mean Lily?”
“Do you have multiple gingers sitting in your apartment?”
“Sometimes,” Remus smiled. He seemed to realize that the joke was one-sided. “Sorry, Fab and Gid are around sometimes, so.”
Sirius nodded, praying that the conversation would abruptly end and he could run home.
“Lily isn’t my girlfriend,” Remus said. “She’s my roommate, and we carpool to class, you’re right about that. But that’s just because I’ve known her forever.”
“Oh.” Well, Sirius felt like a fucking idiot.
“I’m not dating anyone, actually.”
“Oh,” Sirius said again. He needed to find another word, any other one would do.
“You only go to Minnie’s because you wanted to see me?”
Well, it was out now. Remus didn’t even have to ask Sirius to know the answer. Sirius had told him, scratch that, practically yelled it at him. Admitting to borderline stalking someone didn’t leave a lot of room for assumptions.
“Why else do you think I sit there every day?”
“It’s not the coffee?” Remus asked.
“Coffee is an added bonus,” Sirius smiled. “The main reason I go there every morning is to talk to you.”
Remus smiled back, “I go to Minnie’s every morning because I know you’ll be there.”
The words hit Sirius in the center of his chest. The weight they carried almost knocked him over because Remus wanted to see him. Him. Of all people.
He opened his mouth to say something. Something clever, or funny, or smooth. Something that would work in his favor. And nothing came to mind. He was without words. That had never really happened to him before.
In two steps he was back in Remus’ personal space, grabbing his face and pulling him down into a kiss. Honestly, it was the best mode of communication he had. It got even better when Remus sighed against his lips, wrapping his arms around his waist.
It was perfect. It was everything and absolutely nothing like Sirius thought it would be. A perfect contradiction. Remus wasn’t merely just kissing him back, he was kissing him. Remus tilted his chin at the perfect angle, pushing into Sirius even more. Sirius was more than happy to give as much as he got.
It was Remus. It was Sirius and Remus making out in the middle of the kitchen with horrible music blaring in the other room.
If Sirius had it his way, they would have stayed like that for longer than they did. It wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss Remus until he couldn’t breathe. But Remus pulled away and leaned his forehead against Sirius’.
“Are you hungry?” he whispered.
“Starving.”
Remus grinned, pressing a short and sweet kiss to Sirius’ lips, “I know just the place.”
The next time Sirius walked into Minnie’s he did so with Remus' hand holding his own. The diner was empty at the late hour, safe for a few patrons in their respective booths and stools. In the center of the diner, open and waiting was Sirius’ usual table. He dragged Remus behind him and pulled out the chair that usually remained empty for him to sit. Remus indulged him, sitting down and smiling at him.
Minnie walked out from the kitchen, looking at the pair and shaking her head, “Took you long enough.”
Remus' ears turned red as he ducked his head, Sirius squeezed their joined hands.
Minnie stood at the side of their table, pen poised on her writing pad, “What can I get you boys tonight?”
Remus ordered two (decaf) coffees, Sirius ordered extra pancakes for them to share. Breakfast at Minnie’s had never tasted so good.