Chapter Text
Will rarely visited the gardens of the Dantooine Jedi Enclave, not because he didn’t appreciate the beauty, but because plants were absolutely boring. The green leaves, the various-sized flowers, pollen, the smell. He sneezed into his oversized robe as he entered the humid greenhouse with his datapad in hand. Rows upon rows of plants from different worlds lined the shelves. An old Jedi was working on one of the plants with a dropper.
“Young Will—it’s a rare day I see you here.” He returned to dropping water onto the plant. “Does Master Kae require something? The formulas aren’t ready to be recorded, unfortunately.”
Master Kae was his first master and he was her first student. Since the Council thought he was mature for his age of eight years, they thought Master Kae could tolerate teaching someone as young as him. Will thought she’d go easy on him because he had only recently been made her Apprentice, yet she had a lot of expectations…
He shook his head. “No, Master. I’m here for my studies.”
“Master?” The elder chuckled. “I’m no Master, young one.”
Ah, whoops.
“Sorry, Nemo, I—”
He waved a wrinkled hand. “Don’t apologize, many forget. I’m happy sitting here studying the fauna, making treatments for sick younglings, and the like. Being a master is overrated.”
Will shuffled closer to the old man—giving the workstation a curious look. The desk had a top that could be lifted. Magnifying instruments pointed at the petal of one of the flowers while the leaves were being soaked in an unknown substance. Nemo sat at his desk and made a note in his datapad.
“So, you’re here for your studies? Is Master Kae busy today?”
He glanced to the side.
“Well, no, not exactly…”
Master Kae tested him that morning and it happened to be on the various fauna found on the inner world's aboral planets. Yesterday afternoon, his eyes misted as he read the passages about Alderaan’s weeds and it didn’t help that Joa and Yonis asked him for help with their lessons. He’d rather help them than read about stupid weeds.
When he failed the test, Master Kae raised her eyebrow. Her pale, blind eyes always seemed to meet his gaze—perfectly symmetrical soft features wrinkled as she gave him a concerned look. That look disturbed him at first when he was younger, it almost felt strangely intimidating even though Kae had the kindest face, yet he got used to it. But he could tell that she was disappointed in him.
“You got most of the questions incorrect. This is unlike you. Did you study your assignment?”
He kicked the table leg while looking into the corner of the archives.
“Um…a little.”
“Will.” Oh, no. It was that tone. She knew he lied. “You didn’t read it at all, did you?”
His voice was small.
“No.”
A sigh.
“Why not?”
“It—” Will huffed. “It wasn’t interesting.”
“Hmm…” His master crossed her fingers in front of her. “Then what do you find interesting?”
Was it a trick question?
“The…the Force?” His voice was more confident now. “History. Stories. I like stories.”
He loved imagining places beyond. Times long past, tales that weren’t entirely true of heroes who saved the galaxy. Sith too—though he’d never say that out loud. Reading these stories—true or false—was more fascinating to him than his boring life in the Enclave. He wanted to be like those heroes he read about. Not read about stupid plants.
Master Kae stared at him like she was reading his very soul even though she was blind. Eventually, she nodded.
“Let me ask you…do you think I find most of the topics in these archives ‘interesting?’”
She waved behind her to the many shelves of datapads. Rows upon rows of topics—he didn’t know how his master could be interested in reading all of them.
“No.”
“Wrong.” He flinched. Kae shook her head with a small smile. “I am fascinated by all of it. There are so many things in this galaxy that seem uninteresting on the surface. Like plants. There are billions of species in the galaxy—no two are the same. You say you’re interested in learning about the Force, yet the Force is in all things.” She slid one of the datapads forward. “Perhaps you need to see it for yourself.”
And so she told him to go to the Enclave’s greenhouse and study the various specimens. Then, once he’d “seen the Force,” he would retake the test.
Nemo looked him up and down as he didn’t explain further as to the reason why he was there.
“Well..." He shrugged. "Since you’re here, mind helping an old man?”
For the next few hours, Will helped Nemo in the greenhouse. It was mostly catalog work—finding a plant on the datapad and searching through the newly imported specimens. All of the new plants had been flown in from Alderaan. Nemo showed him how some of the plants were poisonous while others had healing properties. He asked the older Jedi why they needed to synthesize ointments from plants when they could use kolto. It was easier to use and didn’t require all of this work.
The old man sighed. “Well, kolto is expensive, young one. And some illnesses cannot be treated using it. Most if not all plagues resist the properties. Rakghoul plague, Iridian plague, Direllian plague. And some fevers can only be treated using tonics.”
He blinked—he’d never considered that. Maybe it wasn’t so simple.
After he finished scanning holos of the plants, he skipped to Nemo’s side and gave him the datapad with a grin. The old man smiled back.
“Well, you did all of the simple tasks I had left to do today…”
“What is that?”
Will pointed at the project Nemo had been working on. A microscope had been set up to point at a yellow flower petal. The old man waved him closer and he peered over the table at the flower.
“Go on. Look in there.” Nemo pointed at the microscope lens. “See for yourself.”
He hesitated so that he didn’t appear too curious before leaning closer and peering into the small window.
An entire world consumed the viewport. Yellow ridges rolled into the horizon like the Dantooine valley, alien-like fungi danced about the ridges, and mountains formed in the wrinkles of the petal. Will held his breath as he drew closer—so desperate to see more.
Perhaps too eager.
He bumped the table, causing the image to shake and disappear. Nemo chuckled as he wobbled back—he managed to catch a glass vial with the Force before it landed and broke on the floor.
“Careful there—the flower isn’t going anywhere. Promise.”
“How is that—” Will risked leaning close to the flower again. “Why is it bumpy like that?”
“Hmm…it’s complicated. To put things simply, they're ‘cells’…” Will blinked as he looked up at Nemo—waiting for more. The old man grinned. “...but I have a feeling a curious young one like you wants more answers than that.”
And Nemo taught him about the flower—everything from how the cells formed the petal to how it produced pollen…even the proper terms for it. Will remembered all of it. When he asked Nemo if the flower had the Force, the old man chuckled again while rubbing the back of his head.
“Well, of course. The Force is in all living things…”
“Where?”
Nemo stared down at him and, for once, the old man was at a loss.
“I don’t know.” He turned back to the flower. “No one knows. We can measure the Force, of course, yet…no one truly knows where the Force is.”
Will stared down at the flower petal with wonder. The Force was in everything yet no one knew how it was there. His forehead creased at the puzzle as Nemo returned to dropping a solution onto the flower.
He spent the rest of the day with Nemo reviewing what he should have learned yesterday. This time, Will wanted to know all of it. When the old man heard his stomach growl, he shooed him out of the greenhouse and told him to get dinner. Yet…Will didn’t want to leave. He needed to try and find it. He needed to find the Force like his Master told him.
As he walked through the gardens, he stopped before a tall bush.
That flower—the starlily. The dark-blue petals turned into white in the center creating a gradient. At night, the white glowed making it appear like stars in the sky. He stared at the flower for a long moment before he came to a decision.
Taking a basket he found beside the door to the greenhouse, he picked flower after flower until the basket was full. There were so many flowers, he doubted Nemo would be able to tell that some went missing…
He hadn’t picked them to look at like a little girl. No—well they were pretty—but he needed them to study. Instead of going to the dining hall, he went straight to his room. As a Jedi, he didn’t have much except for a few spare robes (one which had been ripped when he accidentally fought with it on). Will placed the basket on the floor and sat cross-legged in front of it.
And focused.
In the aura of darkness, he saw the flowers spin about him in swirls. He focused on each one, trying to sense that buzz that he recognized as the Force, yet…he couldn’t sense anything. Eventually, he opened his eyes and took one—smashing it as close to his face as possible.
He spent all evening looking, yet no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t find it. So, he placed the flowers on the bedside table before he crawled into bed. The whites glowed in the dark…small plumes drifted into the air, filling his room like stars. It was…beautiful. Even though he didn’t find what he was looking for, it wasn’t too bad if this was the result.
Will smiled as he drifted to sleep.
The next morning, he awoke to a scratchy throat. A running nose. His eyes were so blurry he could barely find his way to the archives for Master Kae’s lesson. Then, when he got there, he kept sneezing like an idiot as his Master went over the test. So embarrassing.
He sneezed once more onto the datapad screen. Master Kae frowned down at him with concern.
“Have you caught a cold?”
He rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his robe.
“No—” He sneezed again. “—Master.”
She sighed.
“This won’t do.” She turned off the screen. “The test can wait for a day when you are better focused. Let’s get you back to bed.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m fine!”
Will studied so hard for this. He wanted to show his Master how much he learned. Yet, Master Kae was stubborn. She stood and led him out of the archives by the shoulders—snot occasionally ran down to his mouth.
Unfortunately, he’d left the flowers out in his room. Master Kae picked up the basket.
“That explains it.” She lowered it and gave him a raised look with her misty eyes. “Apprentice, I said you need to study the gardens, not make one in your room.”
He sneezed in his robe sleeve.
“Sorry, Master…”
“Why in the world did you pick all of these?”
“Um…” Will felt his face boil. “I…you told me to find the Force…Master.”
Kae sighed. “There is a lesson in this.” She bent down and showed him the basket. “Look at the petals. What do you see?”
Will looked. His mouth became bitter. All of them had begun to wilt due to the lack of sun and water. The once vibrant white that had filled the center was now a putrid yellow.
“They…they’re dying.”
“Why are they dying?”
Will frowned. His body had become hot—almost feverish.
“Because…because of me. I picked them off the bush.”
“Why did you take them off the bush?”
“To study—”
“No, if you wanted to study them, you would have left them alone. Why did you take them?”
“I…” He looked away from the dying blossoms. Couldn’t face his crime. “Because I wanted them.”
“You wanted them. It seems innocent enough—these flowers made you happy. You want to hold on to what makes you happy. Yet your happiness inadvertently caused these flowers to wilt. To die. That is what happens when a Jedi becomes attached. There is no death, there is the Force. The Force is life yet it is also death. You may view the flower from afar, love it even, yet you must never desire it for yourself. For a Jedi, it only causes suffering.”
Will stilled his shaking lip as he listened to his Master’s words. He once again stared down at the wilted starlilies. Master Kae was right—he killed them because of his attachments. It was his fault they died.
He hated disappointing her.
“I’m sorry.”
Master Kae sighed again.
“It’s alright, Will. All is forgiven. It is a hard lesson for a Jedi to learn.” She led him to the bed. “Rest for an hour. We will resume your lessons after lunch.”
He climbed into bed once more and Master Kae turned off the lights as she left. Yet, as he stared at the place where the flowers used to be, he felt…empty. Sad. His room had been purged in darkness, and he was…
Alone.