Chapter Text
e-pardison
okay y'all some new members in the fandom asked for a run down of the history of e-pardison and all the evidence we have of this polyam fam and you all know i cant say no to deep diving on e-pardison!
under the readmore is a short history of pardison and all the evidence i know of for e-pardison. if you know of anything else, let me knoooooowww!!!!
Keep reading
Bios/terms:
H = Alec Hardison (he/him) @hardison_games
P = Parker no last name given (they/them) @theparker
E = Eliot Spencer (he/him) @eliot-spencer
e-pardison (or E/P/H or EPH) = Eliot Spencer/Parker/Alec Hardison ship name
pardison = Parker/Hardison ship name (they’re official!)
parliot = Eliot Spencer/Parker ship name
elison = Eliot Spencer/Alec Hardison ship name
(Brief) History:
- September 20, 2016 - E posts his first cooking video
- April 7, 2017 - H starts streaming on Twitch, mostly speed runs of indie games
- June 1, 2018 - H starts his Diversity in Gaming series on YouTube
- August 5, 2018 - P takes over H's insta, prior to this, they were only referred to as “my partner” [x]
- August 12, 2018 - H posts “Parker Introduction Video!” [x]
- July 12, 2019 - Hardison’s VidCon Panel: Tokenization & Fetishization: Fight! [x]
- July 29, 2019 - P gets a Twitter
- August 16, 2019 - Fans take picture of e-pardison for the first time [x]
- September 2, 2019 - E gets a Twitter
- January 22, 2020 - pardison announce that they're moving during a stream
- February 9, 2020 - H posts “New House Tour (since y’all wouldn’t stop asking)” [x]
- February 10, 2020 - E's usual video is in a new kitchen
Evidence:
- e-pardison all live in Portland
- E and H both attended the same VidCon (likely where they met)
- Masterpost of all e-pardison sightings (they're literally always out together) [x]
- E and H's hiatus' ALWAYS match up (for August 12-18, 2019 [x] [x], for November 17-22, 2019 [x] [x], and for January 28-31, 2020 [x] [x])
- Compilation of all the times H says partnerS on stream [x]
- Compilation of all the time H uses he/him pronouns in a story allegedly about P [x]
- e-pardison all move right around the same time (see dates above)
- E, who hates pets [x], video with a dog barking in the video (it sounds like they're in the same room!! I'm not saying it's Meg, but it's Meg) [x]
- THE PARLIOT XMAS VIDEO (definitely not reuploaded against E’s wishes) [x]
- E laughing in the background of H's Instagram Live [x]
- That one time P tweeted to have H's chat tell him to check his phone, H sees what they sent, ends the stream abruptly, and then E doesn't post for the week with no explanation [x]
- The! D! C! Hiatus! (Parliot seen holding hands near the Vietnam Wall, H is in background of photo grinning) [x]
- The time H twists his ankle on a run (and live tweets it [x]) and the next E video is late, and (no offense) worse quality [x]
- The Mystery Flannel (come on, P and H aren't wearing that flannel) [x]
Supplemental Materials:
- Hardison gushing over partner Compilation [x]
- Parker Appearing on Stream Highlights Compilation [x]
- Best of e-pardison on Twitter [x]
e-pardison
UPDATE!!!! MASSIVE UPDATE PEOPLE, BANG THE GONG!!!
E and H were kissing at a park and a fan posted it!!! I will update as I know more
e-pardison
yall really think that Hardison cheated on Parker huh
theparliotxmasvid
e-pardison shippers [shaking hands emoji] anti-Parker Hardison fans
e-pardison
yall… no
dilf-eliot asked:
how u holding up bestie?
e-pardison answered:
we’re four days into the silence and i miss Them.
e-pardison
I made a new account, it’s @did-e-pardison-post
no-wall-spaghetti
ok i kno it sucks but like… hardison cheated. yall have got to stop pretending that there was some consensual thing going on in the background
e-pardison
ok if Hardison cheated, then why hasn’t Parker posted anything??
e-pardison
all the e-pardison sightings since The Photo are either Parker OR Eliot OR Hardison :( haven’t seen them together in so long. Even Meg looks grumpy in the newest sighting
e-pardison
reblogged from babe-hold-my-knife
you guys remember that time someone put in a foia request to find out why us generals were getting into twitter battles with eliot? think we could do something similar to find out what theyve been up to during this hiatus
did-e-pardison-post
March 29, 2020 - Did e-pardison post? No.
Days since last e-pardison post: 14
e-pardison
:( it’s two weeks yall
e-pardison
reblogged from hardison-games-updates
i know logically that this isn’t an april fools prank, but im still eyeing the calendar like [fingers crossed emoji]
e-pardison
reblogged from ephnatural
do i miss E/P/H or do i just miss Megabyte???
did-e-pardison-post
March 31, 2020 - Did e-pardison post? YESSSSSS!!!! Happy TDOV y’all!!!!!
Days since last e-pardison post: 0!!!!!!
e-pardison
Eliot broke The Silence to wish everyone a happy Trans Day of Visibility and I’m SOBBING
[Photo: A screenshot of a tweet by @eliot-spencer reading: Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Stay strong. You are loved.]
Hopefully this means that The Silence is over [fingers crossed emoji]
did-e-pardison-post
April 1, 2020 - Did e-pardison post? No.
Days since last e-pardison post: 1
e-pardison
[sobbing emoji][sobbing emoji][sobbing emoji][sobbing emoji][sobbing emoji]
e-pardison
[Photo: A screenshot of Tumblr Dashboard. First post from meg-meg-meg reads: i bet Parker broke up with Hardison the second they found out. Second post from oxo-pardison-oxo reads: do we think that hardison left parker for eliot? Or is that just me?. Third post from parkernolastnamegiven reads: the real question is: who is getting meg in the divorce.]
i shit you not i opened the hellsite and this was the first thing i saw
e-pardison
reblogged from cryptidparker
I was at a virtual table talk and Parker was the ASL interpreter. They used to interpret for these events all the time, but this is the first one they've been to this month. Not saying it's Silence related, but it's Silence related
(Also usually they're way more Enthusiastic… Hope they're okay)
meg-meg-meg
think about it guys: we never see EPH together abymore BECAUSE they’re all clones. the govenrment knows that wed see right thru any interaction of them together, so they can only send thr clones out individually
e-pardison
wake up babe, new conspiracy just dropped
did-e-pardison-post
April 17, 2020 - Did e-pardison post? No.
Days since last e-pardison post: 17
e-pardison
it’s been a month. i don’t think i can hold out much longer
e-pardison
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHTI HOLYU SHIT
e-pardison
im ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hardisons-goatee asked:
wha- what happened?
e-pardison answered:
no words [link]
e-pardison
reblogged from dilf-eliot
the audacity this man has to link this in his TWITTER BIO?!?!?!?!
e-pardison
im just. im. i was right. we were right. e-pardison is REAL and they LIVE TOGETHER and they LOVE EACH OTHER and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
e-pardison
STREAM TONIIIIITEEEEE!!!!! I”VE MISSED MY INTERNET OLDER COUSIN WHO KNOWS MORE ABOUT POLITICS THAN ME BUT STILL SITS AT THE KIDS TABLE DURING THANKSGIVING BECAUSE WE HAVE THE MARSHMALLOW YAMS
e-pardison
five minutes *vibrates*
e-pardison
reblogged from meg-meg-meg
God ive missed his voice. And his face. And his dog
e-pardison
did- did yall see that? did E really just walk into frame during H’s stream and then jUST WALK AWAY AS IF NO ONE SAW HIM
e-pardison
“sorry yall, El's still shy” im soft
e-pardison
okay y'all some new members in the fandom asked for a run down of the history of e-pardison and all the evidence we have of this polyam fam and you all know i cant say no to deep diving on e-pardison!
under the readmore is a short history of pardison and all the evidence i know of for e-pardison. if you know of anything else, let me knoooooowww!!!!
Keep reading
e-pardison
MASTERPOST UPDATE
ok y’all asked and you shall receive. Here’s a sequel to the e-pardison masterpost from almost four months ago. i think i did more research for these two posts than i did my master’s thesis (which is why I haven’t been active recently)
Keep reading
The first masterpost leaves off on the Mystery Flannel (remember when we thought that was Evidence??). If you’re new to the fandom, read that first. This post is going to start with The Photo and lead up to the most recent e-pardison moment (the e-pardison Stream Special!)
- March 15, 2020 - a Twitter user posts this [x] photo of E and H kissing in a park, causing the fandom to break. A lot of people thought H was cheating on P, but many of us knew The Truth. P later mentioned on stream that they were climbing the tree in the background and were very upset that they weren’t in the picture because they were Very High Up and people should have been Impressed
- March 15, 2020 - April 17, 2020 - (aka The Silence) No posts from E, P, or H (with the exception of E’s TDOV post on March 31, 2020 [x])
- April 18, 2020 - H links the coming out video on the lock-pick-key channel in his Twitter bio [x]
- April 22, 2020 - H has his first regular stream after The Silence. E walks in toward the end of the stream [x]
- May 11, 2020 - E posts his first video (it’s Latkes+an announcement about his Food Truck Veteran project) after The Silence [x]
- May 15, 2020 - E UNPRIVATES THE PARLIOT XMAS VIDEO [x]
- June 3, 2020 - E does his first ever livestream on the lock-pick-key channel. H and P are there and have Hot Ones style curated AMA questions from H’s Twitter [x]
- June 17, 2020 - the e-pardison Stream Special [x]
It’s been a wild ride y’all. I will update as new things happen!!!
Chapter 2
Notes:
The basic structure for the 'linked' chapters goes: video description, human moment after the video, tweet! This will be true for all of the chapters unless stated otherwise.
Chapter Text
[REUPLOAD] Parker Hijacks Hardison’s Instagram Live 8/5/18
Posted by pardison-clips
Posted on August 6, 2018
The screen is initially black but after a moment, a person with blond hair appears.
“Is this working? Oh, ok, it looks like someone is- oh lots of people are online. I don't know why Alec acts like this is so hard all the time. Hi internet people!” They wave excitedly, although most of the motion is out of frame of the vertical shot. Clearly, they are holding the phone in one hand and waving with the other.
On the bottom left of the screen, comments start to pop up.
where’s hardison?
why wasnt this live announced
IS HARDISON DEAD?????
Who is that
The person clearly takes some time to read these comments, then looks up to the center of the screen again. They never look directly into the camera. “Hardison? Oh, Alec. No, Alec's not dead. Or at least, he wasn't when I left the kitchen, but he's not very good at cooking so maybe he’s croaked since then.”
who are you??
Y no hardison :(
is u The Partner™
alec???? That is hardison ma’am
The person nodded at the comments. “Who am I? Mmm, now that's a great question. I'm Alec's partner. He told me that I have fans and I wanted to see them.”
THE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
qna??
just got here, what’s goin on??
can we ask questions please Mx. Partner?
The! Part! Ner!
is it true u once broke into the white house once
“Sure you can ask questions. But if they're about video games, save them for Alec.”
what’s ur name?
NAME DROP PLZ
Do you watch Hardison’s streams??
pronouns?
Oh No i don’t know what to ask :(
naaaaaame
Meg pics? Do u luv meg ?
“My name’s Parker. And I don’t have any pictures of Meg. She’s with Alec right now, trying to get any cheese that he drops.”
they replied to me!!!!!!!!!! *dies*
whats ur twitter
Parker the Partner im sobbing
“Mmmm, I do have a Twitter. I’ll make it fun by not telling you what it is unless you guess it.”
are you a fan of bts
who is that?? Wheres hardison
what’s hardison like in bed?
is it @hardison-games-updates
they’re the patrner!!!!
“What’s Alec like in… Oh he’s a total blanket hog! And he lets Meg in and she takes up half the bed.”
There’s a sound of a door opening in the background and Parker grins. “Alec! I met my fans!”
“You- Babe what?”
The phone gets passed from Parker to Hardison, who has flour streaked across his left cheek.
“You’re livestre- Oh shit, Parker, why-” The live ends abruptly.
The screen is black for a moment, then in neon green font, the text appears: like and subscribe for more stream reuploads and pardison compilations ;).
///\\\
\\\///
“- did you start an Instagram live on my account?” Alec asked, ensuring that the live was ended and declining to save the live, although he was sure that someone had screen recorded it.
“You said that I had fans,” Parker explained, oblivious as to why Alec was upset. “I wanted to see them. To strike terror into their hearts!”
Alec took a deep breath, pocketing the device. “I’m- I’m glad you’re interested, babe, don’t get me wrong. I just needed some heads up. I’ve been working really hard to keep your identity private so that you don’t have any crazies trying to track you down.
Parker frowned. “Internet safety?” they asked.
The YouTuber nodded. “Internet safety,” he confirmed.
“Huh.”
Alec assumed the conversation was going to end there. Sure, they definitely needed to have a more intense talk about Parker’s privacy and doxxing and asking to use Alec’s phone, but to be honest, Parker usually got bored with these types of things. He didn’t think they’d really want to keep engaging with the Internet and especially not his fans.
Of course, and this was what Alec loved about Parker, they were unpredictable.
Parker took Meg on a walk while Alec finished up dinner (he wasn’t that useless in the kitchen, thank you very much).
When they got back, Parker asked, “So when can I talk to my fans again?”
Alec dropped the tongs but recovered smoothly (read: he dropped them again immediately, this time on the floor). “You- you want to talk to them again?”
Parker made their ‘Duh’ face.
“Alright. Let me give you a run down on how to not get murdered by crazy fans, then we can talk about making a video together.”
Parker pecked Alec on the cheek. “Yay!”
///\\\
\\\///
@hardison_games
tweeted:
Sorry to cut off y’all’s intro to Parker short! To make up for it, I’ll post a vid from them on my channel soon!
Chapter Text
Holiday Baking: Sugar, Snickerdoodle, & Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies
Posted by Eliot Spencer
Posted on December 22, 2019
The video opens with Eliot looking past the camera. An immediate deviation from his usual fair.
“If you keep eating the icing, I wi- will pull the plug on this,” he threatens. He's wearing his usual blue aprons and he's clearly comfortable in the space despite his excessively grumpy demeanor. He gestures to his left, where it's assumed by fans that his gym space is. “Or I could switch this to a self defense video.”
“Fiiiiine,” another person groans. There's a thump near the camera, something, a bowl maybe, being set down out of frame.
It's clear that this isn't a typical video. For one thing, Eliot's bandana doesn't match his t-shirt. For another, there's a non-Eliot entity in the space.
Eliot turns his attention to the camera. “Alright. This week we're doing cookies.”
“Christmas cookies!” the other voice corrects. It almost sounds like…
“Yes, Parker.” His voice is tinged with loving exasperation. “Christmas cookies. Or holiday cookies. Or wh- whenever cookies. You're just insisting that I decorate them with a Christmas theme.” Eliot starts shuffling around ingredients. “We're doing three recipes: sugar, snickerdoodle, and peanut butter chocolate.”
Parker cheers at the final cookie type and Eliot's face softens.
“Sugar's up first, ingredients on screen and in the description. Parker, get over here, you're measuring.”
The sound of someone climbing off of a chair is heard, then Parker appears in frame. They're wearing an obnoxious Christmas sweater depicting the titular scene of "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer" along with a reindeer ear headband.
They follow Eliot's instructions easily, measuring out each ingredient without needing clarification. It seems as though they've baked together before, comfortable reaching over each other and only needing a few words to communicate what they need. For a few moments, it seems like they've forgotten they're on camera.
Then the video cuts.
The cut is not surprising. Rather, it’s more surprising that this is the first one.
The video resumes with Eliot instructing Parker, and thus, the viewers, on the best technique for mixing the dough. As usual, Eliot avoids using any appliances that would potentially make the process faster. The mixing portions are usually sped up, but this time Eliot leaves them unedited. Still, it's not long before they pop the first batch into the oven.
The second recipe proceeds much like the first and the first cut remains the only cut. This video is nearly twice as long as his typical video.
By the time they reach the third recipe, Parker has eaten ten cookies worth of raw dough, causing Eliot to warn, “You eat any of this dough, you… you're going to get sick, Park.”
The less experienced baker pouts. “But chocolate,” they whine, as if this is enough to convince the man.
“But salmonella,” he mocks back before launching into the particulars of this recipe.
Parker, of course, eats several spoonfuls of dough after it's fully mixed, causing Eliot to whack them playfully with a dish towel.
"I'm not decorating these cookies for the video, 'specially 'cause someone-” He throws a glare over his shoulder to where Parker is sitting cross-legged on the counter, munching on the finished sugar cookies. “-is liable to eat them all before I get a chance. I'll throw two icing recipes in the description. Remember to use le- less food dye than you think you will need. See y'all next week.”
As Eliot finishes up his outro, Parker signs ‘I love you’ absently.
The screen fades to the Patreon Support scroll.
The video ends.
///\\\
\\\///
“Hey, El?” Alec asked.
Eliot glanced over at his partner. He prompted Alec to go on with a hand gesture before continuing to slice his red onion as thinly as possible. Words were hard today, but food prep was easy. Even Portland had a sunny day every once in a while.
“When you were editing your video last week, did you notice anything?”
Other than it being easier than normal? he thought sardonically. To Alec, the chef rolled his eyes and shook his head. You aren't only as good as your bad days, he reminded himself, stealing Alec's mantra. Still, it was hard to feel okay with himself when his unedited recordings were often riddled with difficulties speaking. He knew that it'd gotten worlds better since he started the project at his speech therapist's recommendations all those years ago, but he still found himself cutting out half of the unedited run time. The video with Parker had been… easy. Speaking with Parker was always easy, especially 'cause Parker knew how to read his half-formed thoughts before his tongue even had the chance to get into position.
“So you know how I run a lurker fan account for myself?”
"Big ego," Eliot confirmed. This kind of non-sequitur… Not good. Eliot started chopping faster.
“Sure, that. Well, I like to check in to see what public opinion is like every once in a while. And um… this gif has really taken off.”
Alec flipped his phone around to show Eliot his Twitter feed. The top tweet was a short clip from Eliot’s last video. The outro. Zoomed in on Parker as they signed ‘I love you’ to Eliot.
Eliot’s eyes widened. “Oh sh- shit.” He tried to wipe his face only to realize the knife was still in his hand. He set it aside before he cut anything. “I- I’ve. I’ve got to… got to-”
“El, breathe,” Alec reminded softly. He walked to the other side of the island and took Eliot’s hands into his own. “We’ll deal with it. You know we will.”
Eliot sank to the ground, pressing his back against the cabinet. Alec lowered himself as well, squeezing his partner’s hands. Eliot heard him start talking through a breathing exercise, but Eliot shook his head.
“Not- not pani pan pan-” Eliot took a deep breath.
“Okay,” Alec replied softly. “Okay. Not panicking, but something’s wrong? You’re feeling, I mean-”
Eliot nodded, hoping Alec would just shut up. Of course, that would never happen.
“Are you… flashing back? Or no, you wouldn’t, right.”
Eliot glared at his partner.
“Right, um…” Alec looked a bit panicked himself, so Eliot pulled him closer. Having another body close helped. His partner’s heartbeat was fast, but strong against his chest.
Alec hummed. “Yeah, we can- we can do that.”
Eliot wondered sometimes if Alec had stolen his words, even though his aphasia had begun years before he met the man.
Eventually, his partner gathered that Eliot was dissociating, although not too severely. Meg came by for water, noticed that they were on the floor, and decided that it was her job to sit on top of him. Her thick fur and hot, panting breath always tethered him to the moment.
“So what do you want to do?” Alec asked in the middle of his prattling speech. “If anything. We can always just ignore it.”
Eliot held up a hand, silently telling his partner to stop. He took a moment to process Alec’s question. What do you want to do? Right. What did he want to do?
“Ta- take… Take d- down.”
“We can take it down.”
“Now.”
Alec had since sat beside Eliot and Meg had stretched along both their legs, tipped onto her back to gain belly rubs. Eliot was happy to oblige as he hooked his chin onto Alec’s shoulder and watched as the other man logged into his YouTube account and privated the video.
“Thanks,” he breathed.
Alec kissed his forehead and Eliot smiled into his shoulder.
///\\\
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@e-pardison tweeted: I went to rewatch the 3 cookie parliot vid and it… wasn’t (?) there (?) send help!!!!
Chapter Text
Talking Trans Health Care - Project Sparrow Game Play - Stream Upload
Posted by hardison_games
Posted on February 6, 2020
The video begins with an animation of a cartoon Hardison alternating between petting a cartoon Megabyte and holding up an XBox controller. This plays on a loop several times under the words February 5, 2020 Stream Upload’.
After 15 seconds, this screen fades out and is replaced by Hardison's face. He's at his usual set up, with a wall of fan art behind him to the right. To the left is his bookshelf, filled with books, video game paraphernalia, and photos of him, Parker, and Meg. In the top right corner of the display is Hardison's computer screen. Currently, it shows the menu screen for the game Project Sparrow.
Hardison claps his hands together. “Hello, hello friends. Welcome to the stream on this lovely Wednesday. In honor of it being my first stream in Black History Month, all of the donations today go to Black Mutual Aid Funds located below the Bible belt. If you donate to them directly and send me a screenshot, I'll match your donation.”
Along the right side of the screen, comments from the chat scroll upward. Hardison reads through them every once in a while.
Hiiiiiii
ahh, the best time of the week
bones day or no bones day Hardison?
What game is it??
"Also, as many of you know, I'm recording this from the traditional homelands of the past, present, and future Multnomah, Kathlamet, Clackamas, Chinook, Tualatin Kalapuya, and Molalla peoples. But, as we know, land acknowledgements are only as good as the actions that follow them. To put my money where my mouth is, this month I'm partnering with a couple disabled Indigenous gamers on my YouTube for the DIG series, more details in the coming weeks."
Why is Hardison so good?
Just donated!!
YESSSSSS I HOPE RAY IS INCLUDED
hello friends!!! Just hopped onlinr
“I’m trying out a new game today, link to its creator and how to download it—it's free—in the description as always. Also, I'm invoking my right to have a political rant one every ten videos. Yes—that is a Rick and Morty reference. No—I won't apologize.”
this is ur channel, u can do what u want
YES POLITICAL RANT!!!!
do we get to see meg today??
i lov rick n mortyy
Dont apologize!!
im at work, bur saw u were streaming so now im watching from the batrhoom
RANT RANT RANT RANT
“You know what chat, you're right. This is my channel dammit. I rescind my apology.” He laughs to himself. “So no game play commentary unless something really cool or really bad happens. If you're just here for video games, maybe sit this one out. Or stick around—Learn something.”
Alec flips his set up so that his face is in the top right corner and the game takes up the rest of the screen. He hits the start button and begins playing.
“So, I came across a tweet this morning that really got my blood boiling.”
Ok, this game design is cool
BLOOD BOILING??? yall kno it's a bad one
its been five days since the last megabyte sighting, just saying…
Tell us what happened H!!
“I should've pulled it up, but essentially it was asking why being trans didn't count as a pre-existing condition in health care. Oh shit, sorry y'all, I forgot to warn: rampant transphobia will be discussed today. And fuck, I died. Yikes, okay, let's restart that, pretend it never happened…”
People r so dumb
y transphobia in ye olde 2020
not the delayed content warning
Hardison you are… so wholesome
The fuck then the yikes
*to the tune of ophelia* Trans trans phobia, you've been on my mind girl since the flood
“So yeah, I saw that tweet and my blood pressure went waaaaaay up and my partner made me hug Meg for like 20 minutes.”
MEEEEEGGGAAABYYYTTEEEE
Meg!!!!
Meg meg meg megmegmegmehmeg
“Exactly, chat, you get it. Meg rocks, calmed me right on down, because dogs solve all problems. Anyway, I just… couldn't get the tweet out of my mind so now I'm making it y'all's problem.”
Alec cleared the space in the game and moved on to the next one, only to immediately get killed again.
“Dang, okay. Either I’m bad or this game is hard.” He restarted the level. “But the tweet. So before I even get into the transphobia-ness of it, let's just talk healthcare. Why, would anyone, think that more ‘pre-existing conditions’ would make our healthcare system better? Like, hmm yes, let's sprinkle some ableist and fatphobic policies into my healthcare brew and oh, what's this? It needs a kick. Oh, I know, transphobia will do the trick.”
*looks at my e-pardison bingo card* *crosses off cooking metaphors*
Call! Them! Out!
oof better get meg now, he is HEATED
That rhymed (derogatory(
“it needs a kick: transphobia” im sobbing
“Ha, that did rhyme. Poet and I didn't even know it.” Hardison is clearly proud of this joke.
Dad joke alert, avoid the I-80 ramp
nooooooo
Meg would want to be disowned if she heard that
So proud in fact, he dies on the next level. “Y'all I'm never going to finish this game.” He resets. “Okay, where was I? Other than my sick rhyme?”
transphobia
abolishing private health insurance
check ur phone
“Right! Like, private health care is bad enough in general. And then to act like trans people aren't already discriminated against every time they see a physician or, god forbid, a specialist? Like- what?” Alec stops playing and, of course, dies.
CHECK YOUR PHONR
PARKER SAYS CHECK UR PHONE
parker tweeted
check your phone - parker
Check ur phone
HARDISON!!!!!! LISTEN TO THE CHAT
check your phone
Check! Yiur! Phone!
Hardison's face scrunches up in confusion. On screen, his character dies again, but he pays it no mind, grabbing his phone from his desk. He reads through something on the screen, his concern visibly growing.
We did it! Go team!
Check ur- oh, never mind
Megabyte now?
Mx. Parker, we did it
“Um, sorry y'all, something came up, I've got to go.” The stream ends.
///\\\
\\\///
Text from Parker
E had a panic attack. Need u downstairs
Text from Parker
Stop gaming, come here
Text from Parker
Hardison
Text from Parker
Hardison
Text from Parker
Alec
Text from Parker
Alec come heerrrreeee
Alec read through the messages quickly, ending the stream on autopilot. The panic attack must've happened right before he started streaming. Apparently the soundproofing in his office-slash-stream-backdrop was a bit too good. Not that Eliot would want his panic attacks to be overheard by Alec’s audience.
Alec forced himself to take one deep breath before exiting his office. Parker’s texts made them sound really freaked out. Alec would be no use to his partners if he was letting his stress leak out.
It must have been a bad one if Parker wanted Alec there. Park was more than capable of helping Eliot recover. Better than Alec by all means. Alec tended to run his mouth when he was nervous, which was generally unappreciated by his partner. He tended to get sent away if Parker was around.
He took a second deep breath before entering the living room.
Parker was facing away from him, perched on the back of an armchair. Eliot sat on the floor with his back pressed up against the same chair. His face was buried in Meg's fur as he hugged the dog. His entire body was taught and his breath puffed jerkily into Meg’s side.
Alec knocked on the wall to warn the pair that he was entering their space. He kissed the top of Parker's head and then sat across from Eliot.
He didn’t know what happened, but he had a feeling that El had asked for him. Most of E’s trauma was rooted in his time in the military, but every once in a while, his fear of not being able to protect his family got out of control.
“Hey, El,” Alec greeted softly. He kept his speech slow and simple so Eliot wouldn’t have to sort through any nonsense. “Sorry it took so long to get down here. What's goin’ on?”
Eliot didn’t respond, which was about what Alec expected. He glanced up at Parker, who shrugged.
His partners had taught him the value of silence, so Alec decided to wait.
Parker lifted their hands, then paused. They had a frustrated look on their face that meant that they couldn’t describe what had happened in signs that Alec would understand. Finally, they indicated Eliot and then breathed heavily a few times. Then they made a sign for ‘exercise’, pumping their arms up and down. Alec had learned that one after the first few times it had been used in relation to him so that he could avoid his partners in the future.
Breathing exercises it was then.
“E, can I touch your hand?”
Eliot tightened his grip around Meg, who whined. After a clear internal struggle, Eliot reached out his hand and Alec intertwined their fingers before flattening Eliot’s palm against his own chest. Eliot’s knuckles were scraped when they hadn’t been earlier, but Alec put that thought aside. He started talking Eliot through his go to breathing exercise. Slowly, the rise and fall of Eliot’s shoulders evened out.
Parker waved until they got Alec’s attention. Once they did, they twisted their two index fingers as they pointed at each other. Alec shook his head. That sign wasn’t one he’d learned yet.
H-U-R-T, Parker finger spelled. H-A-N-D-S. They pointed to Eliot.
Parker flexed their fingers with anxious energy.
Alec frowned. “You hurt, El?”
Eliot’s hand spasmed on Alec’s chest. Meg whined at the renewed tension in Eliot’s body. She trotted around and nuzzled his face. He drew his hand away from Alec and used both to scratch behind Meg’s ears, his gaze firmly on the Newfoundland.
“He punched a wall,” Parker voiced suddenly.
Alec nodded slowly. Questions bubbled up but he pushed them down. He searched his brain for a moment before finally settling on fingerspelling W-A-R and making a questioning face. Parker shook their head.
So it was a Partner Protection Protocol Problems (okay… fairly forced alliteration, but he’s trying).
“Hey, babe, can I see your hands again?”
Eliot looked at Alec and then pointedly looked at Meg. You want to take away her scratches? he asked silently.
“Meg can deal. Hands please.”
Eliot dutifully let his partner inspect the skin where it had broken. Not the roughest result of Eliot’s externalization of his inner turmoil, but not the kindest he’d been to his body either. Meg pawed at Eliot’s crossed legs.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, huh? Then we can cuddle up in the bedro-” Eliot made a terrified face. “-Living room for a movie night?” Alec corrected smoothly. Eliot would probably fall asleep regardless of the space, but if he wanted to put off nightmares, Alec wouldn't stop him. “Park, do you mind taking care of triage?”
They nodded, dangling their fingers until Eliot tethered himself to them. While they were in the bathroom cleaning Eliot up, Alec retrieved a weighted blanket from the closet for Parker, “Alec’s” goose plushie that was Eliot’s favorite animal and a size perfect for Eliot’s arm circumference, and some of the organic dog treats that Eliot had made for Meg. She had done a very good job comforting Eliot while Alec was upstairs.
He lowered the lighting and dragged all of the Parker-approved blankets onto the couch. By the time he finished setting out both crunchy and non-crunchy snacks, his partners had returned, leaning against each other.
“Spirit alright?” he asked. Eliot was an ex-horse girl, but hated to admit it.
Eliot hesitated but nodded, accepting the goose plush from Alec and settling down onto the couch. Parker pecked Alec on the cheek as they stole the weighted blanket. They returned to their perch with a bowl of pretzels as well. Alec took the end of the couch closest to Parker and convinced Eliot to put his head in his lap, framing it as needing something to do with his hands and oh, Eliot’s hair was just so nice to brush through.
Meg stretched out near Alec’s feet as Alec pressed play on the movie. One of Eliot’s arms dangled down far enough to tangle his fingers in her fur.
Between the comfort show, the goose to snuggle with, the dog to pet, and the scritches on his scalp, Eliot fell asleep pretty quickly.
Alec waited until he was sure that El was asleep and then he lowered the volume on the movie. He turned to Parker. “Not- not that I’m complaining because I love cuddly-partner time, but why’d you call me down?”
Parker swished the blanket as if it didn’t weigh thirty pounds. “He asked. And he was scared for you.”
Alec couldn’t help the smile that formed at hearing that Eliot had requested him. It dissipated quickly though at the rest of Parker’s explanation. Eliot was terrified of what would happen if people knew that they were together. Alec respected that, even though he yearned to hold Eliot’s hand in public. Parker hated holding hands. He was deprived, dammit.
He let his thoughts wander, the movie washing over him. “... Wait, how did you get my chat to alert me?”
Parker rolled their eyes. “I used Twitter.”
“Huh.” Alec nodded, impressed. “Good call.”
///\\\
\\\///
@theparker tweeted: People Watching Alec's Stream: Tell Him To Check His Phone.
@theparker tweeted: good to know that tweeting Alec's fans /is/ a viable way to get his attention
@theparker tweeted: It's fine. Stop asking.
Chapter 5
Notes:
It's been a while since I wrote in this AU, so hopefully it flows reasonably well!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Best of Parker Appearing on Stream
Posted By hardi_games_comps
Posted on March 1, 2020
The opening screen is a still image from Hardison’s Instagram. It’s of him and Parker outside of the Portland Art Museum. Parker is wearing all black and is smiling wide. Hardison is wearing a business suit that looks at odds with Parker's more casual outfit, and looks very determined. Although the caption from the Instagram post is cut off in the video, most pardison fans know it as the “Cosplaying!!” image that got put up and taken down on the same day. Weirdly timed with a security breach at the museum, although no one except for the real conspiracy theorist fans think about it too much.
A moment later, text overlays the image. It’s in white, curly font, which causes some readability issues for the edges of the text that cover the museum exterior.
HELLO FELLOW PARDISON SHIPPERS!!!
THIS IS A COMPILATION OF ALL MY FAVORITE MOMENTS OF PARKER APPEARING ON HARDISON’S STREAM, AND IS NOT MEANT TO BE EVERY MOMENT (PARKER APPEARS ON SCREEN A LOT LOL)
I WENT BACK THE THE BEGINNING(™) FROM WHEN PARKER WAS STILL THE PARTNER BC I PERSONALLY LOVED ~THE MYSTERY~
HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!
The video cuts to the first clip. It’s clearly from the early days, when Hardison filmed from his living room of his old apartment. The camera quality was less good, and he was trying (and failing) to be a speedrunner.
Kaizo Mario is on the screen, with a death toll in the top right corner of 87, and Hardison is toggling to the previous save state.
Hadison himself is in a smaller rectangle in the top left corner, but the video slowly zooms until his face is all that’s seen.
“Okay,” Hardison is saying. “Okay, we can do this, I can do this. Just wait for this little dude—nope, hidden block. Take two and nope, same hidden block. Take three and another hidden block, why.”
There’s a knock heard in the room just as Hadison avoids the hidden block. He flinches and immediately dies. “What no, wh- Babe?” He shifts so that he’s facing the side, rather than his screen. Mario music happily accompanies the brief conversation. “Hey, I’m streaming, what’s up?” He seems confused, and it’s likely that the person off screen (Parker, née The Partner) should already know this.
“I kno-”
Hardison mutes his mic before the rest of the words can be heard, aiming to preserve his partner’s anonymity. Hardison replies and then something is being thrown at him. He goes to catch it, but misses and it falls to the floor behind him.
It looks like an unopened bag of Cocoa Pebbles, taken out of the box, when he retrieves it from the floor. He opens it, and then leaves the camera’s view briefly before returning, Cocoa Pebble-less.
He unmutes his mic. “Sorry ‘bout that, y’all. My partner loves chocolate but hates the noise of plastic bags being opened.”
The creator of the video has edited in teary eyed emojis to surround Hadison’s face and they remain on the black screen when the video switches to the next clip.
Hardison is doing a Q&A on stream. He reads from the chat, “What the hell is a parker?” He looks dead to camera. “A parker is a United States saxophonist and leader in the bop style of jazz.”
A stable handheld view of Hardison appears. It’s a vertical video and in the corner is the Instagram Live symbol. There are boxes in the background labeled kitchen, indicating that this was filmed around the time of their move.
“Hey, y'all! I'm in the middle of unpacking and I needed a brain break, so I thought I'd hop on Live and have y'all help pick out the first game I play on stream after the move.”
“Oh is that what you're doing?” Parker asks out of frame. “I can do that.”
“Ye-” Parker squishes their face next to Hardison's to be in the shot. “Hello Park, welcome to the stream, I guess. What did you think I meant by ‘I’m going to go ask the chat what game I should play next?’”
“I thought that was code for ‘I’m going to go whine to the chat about how-’” Here, Parker pauses. “‘-Parker is making me help unpack the living room.’”
Hardison laughs. “Well, you can help moderate the chat or something.” He flips the camera around. A person wearing work boots and jeans is briefly visible from the waist down, but Hardison quickly changes the angle to show a handful of XBox games.
Immediately, Parker's hand darts in frame and discards the one on the far left. “Not that one,” they say definitively.
“Why not?”
“It's got horses on the cover. I will not have any horses in my house, video game character or otherwise.”
It’s spooky season, as indicated by the orange and purple string lights hung in the living room behind Hardison. It’s definitely spooky season, because he’s playing Five Nights at Freddies, a game he’s sworn off for good at least twice on stream. His chat has always been great at bullying him.
A figure in all black can be barely seen, back lit by the string lights. Their face is out of frame, dating the video. It’s before Parker’s introduction to the fandom.
Hardison is breathing quietly into the mic, but otherwise not making any noise.
The chat streams by.
purple guys coming 4 u
behind you
I’m in a well lit room and I am still terrified (tm)
H look behind u
HARIDSON TURN AROUND
“Guys,” Hardison whispers. “Please stop trying to scare me- AHHHHHHH.” As he finishes his sentence, the mysterious figure—the Partner, it’s assumed—yanks his chair back. The Partner cackles as Hardison yells, “What the hell?”
The next section is a series of clips from the middle of Hardison's career so far. They're from after Parker introduced themself to Hardison's fanbase, but before the move. Hardison's set up in the living room allows Parker to wander into frame from time to time.
The section is titled Outfit of the Day, as Parker has been known to have some interesting looks. The title stays overlaying the footage for the entire section. It's the same curly white font from the introduction and at times it disappears into the background.
First, Parker walks into shot from the left with what looks like a climbing harness, wearing all black underneath.
In another clip, they drift in from the right. This implies that they either had been sitting out of frame for almost an hour not saying anything (unlikely) or that they climbed in through the window (slightly more likely, considering the aforementioned climbing gear). They're wearing a bright yellow rain jacket covered in bells. None of them jangle when they move. The chat asks about it (are they empty?) and so Hardison reaches out as Parker leaves the frame to jangle one. It jingles pleasantly. Parker swats his hand away, jangle-free. The chat becomes more confused.
Next, Parker comes from the kitchen carrying a bag of chocolate ChexMix. Hardison asks for some, but Parker keeps walking as if they didn't hear him. They're wearing a giant jack o'lantern outfit, which would make sense if this were a Halloween stream. It's not.
The video transitions to Parker running into the room and yanking Alec's chair back in excitement. He wasn't playing a horror game (in fact, it looked like he was designing a Mario Maker level) but he still yelps. "Are you done yet?" Parker asks. They're wearing a black t-shirt with white lettering that's only briefly visible (THEY/THEM, it reads). Around their neck are a pair of purple ear defenders. What's more notable is the purple, gray, white, and black cape draped over their shoulders. The asexual pride flag. Hardison promises that he'll wrap up soon so that they can get to the parade.
Then Parker is walking in the background wearing an obnoxious Christmas sweater, with actual garland wrapped around it. They pass in the the background and don't seem to notice that Hardison is streaming. As with many of their other outfits, there is no apparent special occasion.
The final outfit in this section is of Parker walking through the background as always. The outfit seems innoucious at first glance, but when Parker turns slightly, the reason it was included in the video becomes clear. It's a Black Lives Matter t-shirt.
"Alec?"
Parker's voice is heard off-screen, interrupting Alec mid-rant about city planning and the lack of buses in LA (he's back from a recent trip). He's in his newer set up, but it's freshly moved into. Not all the fanart is up on the walls yet. There's soundproofing foam up though, so it's likely Parker has already opened the door.
The gamer checks that his character isn't likely to die or start a new cutscene before turning to his partner. Typically, this is where he mutes his mic, but he appear to have forgotten this time. '"What's up?"
"You know how you said dogs can't have chocolate?"
Hardison's face changes from his usual dopey I-love-my-partner smile to his oh-god-what-did-my-partner-do look of horror. "What happened? Did you give Meg chocolate? Did you kill my dog Parker?"
"No! I, well, I thought you were joking when you said dogs couldn't have chocolate because that's probably the worst thing to ever happen to a species. But El- I-" The last word is drawn out and comes off as a question. "- was rearranging our kitchen and my chocolate stash maybe got put on the floor and Meg maybe ate a bunch of it."
"Oh my god, you killed my dog." Hardison turns back to his screen and goes to unmute himself, only to find that he never did so in the first place. "Chat, as you apparently overheard, I have a dog-related emergency that I need to attend to, so we'll pick up this game next time."
The chat is filled with well wishes for both Megabyte and Hardison.
Another question and answer stream. “What the hell is a parker? A parker is a person who parks a motor vehicle.”
The next video is cut from Summer Games Done Quick 2019, a video game speed running marathon for charity. The video quality is not great, because the room being filmed is dark and the video creator has zoomed way in on what is usually a tiny image in the corner, where the gamer running the game can be seen. Behind the player is a couch of commentators, one of whom is none other than hardison_games. Behind them is a crowd of spectators.
Off screen, a host can be heard. “Do you have time for a quick donation?” Not an uncommon question, although the commentators appear sucked into the game play.
“Ummmmm,” Hardison, or maybe one of the other commentators, says.
“I think you’ll want to hear it,” the host insists.
Hardison can barely be seen on the screen, but it’s clearly him who responds. “Okay, yeah, sure.”
“Awesome. We have a one hundred dollar donation from TheParker.”
The crowd laughs and cheers and Hardison can barely be heard muttering, “What?”
“It says, ‘Alec , you didn’t make me co-host for your Nana’s birthday zoom. Please let me in.’”
The crowd goes “Ooooooo” in that you’re in trouble way.
The video creator zooms even more on Hardison’s blurry face. He looks panicked and seems to be taking off his lapel mic.
“‘Also,’” the host cuts in one last time, “‘Kill the animals.’”
Another vertical video. This time, no one is visible, but instead there is shaky footage of a fairly competent drawing of Megabyte as a Mario character. "Alec swung by the PO box today," Parker explains. This is a compilation video, so it's possible that the introduction to the Instagram Live was cut out. But this is also Parker, so it's also likely that there wasn't anything to cut. "And then he had a meeting with his editor, so I decided to go through the fan art without him. And then I decided to take his phone and share it with you all, since you're the ones who will have to look at it in the background of his streams until the next time El- we- I convince him to empty his fan mail."
Parker thumbs through a few more pieces of fan art. A pencil sketch of Hardison in his streaming headphones. A short comic strip of Hardison realizing that his character was about to die. Another drawing of Megabyte, this time in Scooby Doo style. A cartoon-y Hardison hugging a giant bottle of orange soda. A photo-realistic painting Hardison, Parker, and Eliot standing close together.
The last one, Parker tucks away and it's not seen again in the video.
"These are the ones I liked the most. Alec likes to swap out one or two pieces of art per PO box haul, so we will vote via the heart reaction. This is not quantifiable, just what I see. So spam away, starting with this one."
The LED lights in the new set up are in a rainbow display, despite it not being June. In the top left corner, the video is labeled as being a 24 hour stream to raise money for the Trevor Project.
The time marker in the right corner indicates that he’s about 18 hours in, so he can be forgiven for looking a bit frazzled.
Hardison is between games, just chatting with his audience. There’s a knock on the door and he invites them in.
“Dinner,” Parker announces. They set a tray of snacks—
Home made pretzels??
that fruit looks so ymmyyyyyyy
Mx. Parker, all due respect, you did not make that
*whispers* eliot? Make snackies?
—on the table beside Hardison, which is covered in empty orange soda bottles and empty chip bags.
“Thanks, babe.” Hardison blows them a kiss. As Parker leaves frame, they can be seen shooting finger guns at their partner.
As is typical, Hardison's chat is bullying him.
ask Parker
Is parker home ?
Thry couldget it for u
megabtye should get it
Parker!!
“Hey babe? Parker?”
“Yeah?” Parker's voice is muffled. Hardison's in his new set up, so Parker must be nearby to be able to hear him through a closed door.
“Can you bring me an orange soda?”
“Why would I ever do that?” Their voice comes through clearer now, as though they've opened the door.
“I told you all this is what would happen,” Hardison grumbles to his chat.
“What the hell is a parker? A ‘parker’ is a slang term for a parkkeeper.”
Once a month, Hardison’s patreon supporters picks the game he plays on stream. Every December, without fail, they choose a weird Christmas game. This year, it’s Elf Bowling.
Hardison looks very done.
A moment later, he looks even more done, as Parker has bounced into the room and strapped a jingly reindeer horn headband onto his head.
“Babe,” he groans, able to see himself on his computer setup. “I’m Jewish.”
“I’m atheist,” Parker counters. They’re holding a comically large candy cane and gesture with it accordingly. “Don’t disrespect the spirit of the season.”
“You mean capitalism.”
“I mean free stuff.”
“What the hell is a parker?”
Parker happens to walk past. “What isn’t?” they ask seriously.
THANKS FOR WATCHING <3
SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL FOR MORE PARDISON COMPILATIONS!!!
///\\\
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hardison_games didn’t blow up on Twitch immediately. He definitely didn’t blow up on YouTube immediately. Still, he kept at it, trying a few different gaming styles before finding his groove.
His first thousand subs on Twitch felt amazing. His first million though? Unreal.
It was around that time that someone tweeted at him a YouTube video. About him. Seven minutes of himself reacting to his character dying on stream. It had quick edits and jokes and memes.
Alec loved it. Seriously. Who wouldn’t love fan content about themself? (He would later learn to regret that thought. No one wants real person fics tweeted at them. No one.)
On his climb from one million to two million subs, more compilations were created and shared with him. Some of them were funny, some of them… less so.
Still, he learned from those videos. He used to just reupload his streams in full to YouTube, but he realized that almost no one enjoyed that. He started putting in edits of his own, little things that wouldn’t take up too much of his time.
(Until streaming became his full time gig, that is.)
It was around one and half million subs that one of his creator friends sent him Every Sighting of The Partner (tm) (hardison_games fan vid).
That made him nervous.
Parker remained pretty ambivalent about Alec’s gaming career. They said that they didn’t mind being mentioned on stream, but they mostly stayed away from the living room when he was online.
They didn’t seem to understand or care for the Internet. They didn’t even have a Twitter!
“Parker?” he asked. He was over at their place, an industrial looking apartment with high ceilings. They had disappeared into the kitchen, and Alec kinda wanted to avoid seeing their face when he told them. He was every bit the chicken that his chat called him.
“Mmhmm?” They were allegedly making dinner, but Alec suspected that they were googling the nearest Thai restaurant. Neither of them were cooks.
Alec cleared his throat. “So. Someone made a compilation of all the times you’ve appeared on my stream.”
“Okay.”
He continued on. “I can try to get it taken down, or- I don’t know, copyright strike it on YouTube. I’ll definitely tell my fans not to-”
“Alec, it’s fine.”
Alec turned to face them. “You’re sure?”
Parker shrugged. “Yeah. I know when you’re on stream. If I didn’t want to be seen by your followers, then I wouldn’t go near your camera.” They put down their phone. Take out food it was, then. “You should send it to me.”
“Why?”
“How else am I going to learn to avoid the camera angles?”
Alec did end up messaging the link to Parker. His partner was fantastic and weird and wonderful.
It only got more intense after Parker took over his Instagram and did an unexpected face reveal. Parker suddenly became a part of his brand, which was gross and weird and, admittedly, a little bit cool.
More and more compilations were made. Alec hired an editor to help put together his own, but the fan ones were somehow more creative and often more popular.
Especially once people caught onto his and Parker’s relationship with Eliot.
Most of the fans didn’t care or thought it was just fandom shipping nonsense. But those who believed that e-pardison was real believed it hardcore.
Which was difficult, when Eliot wasn’t ready to be out like that. Even on fan videos that weren’t e-pardison focused, there were still nods to Eliot.
Alec… didn’t know what to do with that.
Parker continued to enjoy the videos, but they made Eliot uncomfortable. Unfortunately, telling off his audience would probably only encourage the shippers. A clip of that would probably slip into a “e-pardison proof” video or something like it.
He stared at the latest tweet in his mentions. At least this fan compilation was only Parker focused. As he debated how to reply, he hoped that, one day, he wouldn’t have to worry so much about these things.
///\\\
\\\///
@hardi_games_comps tweeted: New vid!!! All my fav pardison moments on stream! @theparker @hardison_games youtube.com/watch?v=hardi-games-comp12
@hardison_games tweeted: Forgot about some of these lol
Notes:
Here is the small chance of inspiration :)
Games Done Quick is a real speedrunning marathon that raises money for Doctors Without Borders (and another org I'm blanking on)
The "What the hell is a parker?" is directly stolen from vlogbrothers' Question Tuesday ("What the hell is a hank?")
Chapter Text
A Healthy Communication with You (the fans)
Posted by lock-pick-key
Posted on April 18, 2020
The video starts out of focus. A hand reaches out to fix it and then Hardison’s face is crisp in the center of the screen. He appears to be sitting on the floor of his living room. Avid viewers of his content can immediately recognize that this is not Hardison from hardison_games. This is the Alec seen on rare occasions in Instagram Lives and in fan videos taken without his consent. And Alec looks tired.
“Hey all, Hardison here.” His voice holds none of its usual enthusiasm and his speech is slow compared to normal. “Not going to do my normal intro because this isn't a normal video. Or my normal channel. Real quick, I do want to do my land acknowledgement. I'm recording this from the traditional homelands of the past, present, and future Multnomah, Kathlamet, Clackamas, Chinook, Tualatin Kalapuya, and Molalla peoples. There's a handful of links in the description to various Go Fund Mes. All proceeds will support two spirit, queer, and/or trans indigenous people living in the US and Canada. If you donate and send proof of donation to the hardison_games email, I'll match the donation…” Alec looks past the camera and his expression remains subdued.
“Okay so I did a bit of my normal intro, but that's the important part.” His mouth almost quirks into a smile, but the expression doesn't execute itself properly. He continues to stare past the camera. Someone must be behind it, although it’s well known that Alec is easily distracted. He looks at his lap, then into the camera. “Meg is here.”
He adjusts the camera down and you can see the top of her head resting over Alec’s outstretched legs. “Say 'Hi' Meg.” The Newfoundland does nothing, as usual.
He fixes the camera. “I had a whole script written out of what I wanted to say. And no- this isn't an apology video like I'm sure many of you are expecting. First of all, if there's anyone who deserves an apology, I sure as hell wouldn’t be performing it for you all. It would have happened privately, a month ago. Much as y’all like to parasocialize my life…" He shakes his head.
“Anyway, second of all, there isn't anyone who needs an apology.” He sighs. “Like I said, I had a whole script but… Before that picture got posted, y'all know the one, there were lots of jokes about Eliot Spencer, another YouTuber based here in Portland—although if you're here you probably already know that—being me and Park's third wheel.”
Alec’s gaze has wandered to behind the camera again, but it returns and there’s an intensity in his eyes that hasn’t been seen yet in the video. “That nonsense has got to stop. Eliot's not me and Parker's third wheel, he's our partner.” Alec doesn’t give the audience a moment to react, moving straight on. “Now, I know most of my followers are pretty entrenched in queer lingo, but to make it extra clear: me, Parker, and Eliot are all dating each other. Polyamory is alive and well my friends.
“Now before y’all get your panties in a twist about me outing El, here he is, giving his thumbs up of approval.” Alec swivels the camera one-hundred and eighty degrees to reveal who he’s been looking at throughout the video. Sitting with their back to the couch on the other side of the living room is Parker. They stare down the camera with an annoyed look. In their lap is Eliot's head. They run their fingers through his hair. Based on how thin his face looks, it seems like Eliot hasn't been listening to his 'Food is Nourishment' mantra lately. Despite his grumpy expression, he gives a thumbs up to his partner. Alec fixes the camera.
“That's all I have to say for now. I'll probably start posting regularly again later this week. E's still working on some other projects, but expect more from him within the month. Parker-”
“-has so many conspiracies drafted!”
Alec smiles. “For someone originally very averse to Twitter, they've been missing it."
He pauses, clearly thinking for a moment. “Feel free to subscribe to this channel. Not sure if we're ever going to use it again and I know we'll plug any other videos elsewhere if we do. In the community tab, I'm going to link some resources about polyamory and the like, as well as the donation links again. Bye, y’all.”
///\\\
\\\///
Alec slumped forward to bury his face in Meg’s fur, which muffled his groan. Parker cocked their head. The camera was still recording, but they knew he’d edit this out later. Still, it was odd seeing the life drain out of their partner over a video. Even if it was an important video.
They wanted to go poke Alec, but Eliot’s head was in their lap, providing good pressure for their legs and soft hair for their fingers to thread through. They stayed put. The urge resurfaced. They poked Eliot instead. Eliot grunted.
Parker huffed. Today was lame.
This was their fifth take. Alec had started with Eliot and Parker in the shot as well, but neither of them were having vocal days. Neither of them had been having vocal months. Parker was better off than Eliot, because they could talk with their hands fluently. Eliot’s glares were many and varied, but they weren’t a language.
Today had started out good for Parker too, but when Alec suggested that they should try to film the script they’d written earlier that week, their voice had gone on strike.
Alec groaned again, this time to announce that he was sitting up.
“That good enough for y’all?” Alec asked.
Meg rolled over on her back, requesting belly scratches. Alec absently obliged.
Eliot gave a thumbs up, which contained even less enthusiasm than the one for the video.
Parker agreed. They were tired too.
But Eliot’s speech therapist and Parker’s brain therapist agreed that hiding from the world was making everything worse.
Parker missed visiting food trucks with Eliot and computer stores with Alec and art museums with both of them. Ever since the stupid fan took the stupid picture of their boys kissing, they’d decided to only go out separately. Which was stupid. Parker had wanted to be partner-y with Eliot in public since they all started dating, but Eliot wasn’t ready for that kind of attention.
The one time he and Alec kissed (gross—mouths) in public, of course someone took a picture.
Parker sometimes wondered if Alec’s fame was worth it. But then they remembered that if Alec hadn’t blown up as a Twitch streamer, he likely would still be hacking the Pentagon or the FBI or Iceland. And then he would be in jail and Parker would still be in that car boosting ring instead of consulting on heist movies. And he and Eliot wouldn’t have met at VidCon and Eliot would still be sad in his apartment having nightmares from his time in the military every night with no one to comfort him. Parker didn’t want that.
They sighed. Eliot cracked an eye up at Parker. O.K.? he signed clumsily.
They pulled their hands out of their partners hair only to have their fingers flutter in the air, unsure of how to reply.
Across the room, Alec finally stopped the recording. “We can give it another go, but I can’t do this again today,” he muttered. He pushed Meg off of him and she frowned in her dog way at him. Alec patted her head to make up for his lack of scratches.
He unclipped the camera from the tripod and extracted the memory card on his way to join his partners. He blew a kiss to Parker and then bent down to kiss Eliot’s shoulder.
“SDMI?” he asked, nodding to the TV. Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated was one of the few shows they all regularly agreed on, as they did again. Alec got it set up and then stretched out on the couch that Parker was leaning against, his legs dangling over the side closest to Eliot’s head.
Parker found themself sucked into the show, humming along to the theme song. Eliot didn’t seem to be paying too much attention, but Meg had rolled over beside him, finding her belly rubs somewhere.
“Huh,” Alec said a few episodes later.
Parker looked over to him. He had his headphones on and laptop out, presumably looking over the footage.
Realizing he’d gained their attention, Alec pulled his headphones down around his neck. “This last take's… not actually that bad.”
“... Post it.”
“I mean, I need to edit it a bit more, make sure-”
“Post,” Eliot insisted.
Alec made a face. “You haven’t even seen it.”
Eliot pushed up so that he could look their partner in the eye. Meg and Parker both whined at the loss of contact.
“Oh-kay, El, if you say so.”
Alec clicked on a few items. Parker watched their partners, the show no longer interesting. He turned his laptop screen so that the pair could see the lock-pick-key YouTube page that they’d created that morning. His cursor hovered over the upload button. “I click this, we wait an hour or so for it to upload. Then I post the link in my Twitter bio.”
“True fans first,” Parker supplied, liking the brief alliteration that Alec had made up earlier that week.
Their partner smiled. “You know it.” His expression returned to a neutral position when he looked back at the screen. He closed his eyes and hit the upload button.
Another few episodes of SDMI, Eliot returned to his position petting Meg, Parker returned to their position of petting Eliot, and then Alec announced that the video was up.
“You ready for this to go live?” he asked. “We can always wait, or just go back to normal and not say anything or not go back to normal and not say anything or-”
Eliot glanced up at his partner. ‘Is he stupid?’ his eyes asked.
“We change together,” Parker translated simply.
Their partner nodded emphatically and Alec’s face broke out into a grin. “Hell yeah we do.”
///\\\
\\\///
@theparker tweeted: the louvres guard rotations is really in the gutter this month
@theparker tweeted: miss the days when i could put on my rigging harness and jump into corner office buildings
@theparker tweeted: its not the chemicals thats turning the frogs gay… its the really hot frogs
@theparker tweeted: you ever just *stabs pedophile with a fork*
@theparker tweeted: “e-pardison is real” best conspiracy ive read all year
Notes:
I'm getting closer on the last chapter, so I'm posting this one as a treat to myself :)
Chapter 7
Notes:
Featuring a Hot Ones inspired Q&A! If you aren't familiar with Hot Ones, essential the interviewer asks weirdly specific and creative questions to famous people while eating increasingly spicy wings. All of their videos are on youtube.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ask Eliot Anything! (featuring Hardison & Parker) - Stream Reupload
Posted by lock-pick-key
Posted on June 6, 2020
The video begins with Eliot and Parker on camera, sitting on a couch in their living room. Eliot looks annoyed, but this isn’t abnormal. What is abnormal is his lack of chef or fighting gear. Instead, he wears an unbuttoned flannel with a black t-shirt underneath. Parker wears all black and their hair is pulled up into space buns.
“Hi everyone!” Parker grins, waving emphatically.
Eliot nods to the camera.
“Alec, come say hi!”
From afar, Alec calls, “On my way. Why’d you start the stream? Also, when did you learn to use YouTube Live?”
Parker rolls their eyes. “Do the intro,” they instruct as Alec comes into frame.
Alec sets down two lidded trays to which Eliot raises an eyebrow. “This wh- why I wasn’t allowed.. allowed in the kitchen?”
Alec presses his lips together to suppress a grin. “Perhaps.”
“Oh f- fuck me.”
“Alec, intro, now! The chat wants to know what’s going on.” The chat, however, is not scrolling along the screen like in a typical Hardison live stream. The reason why becomes apparent soon.
Alec adjusts his purple sweater before sitting on Eliot’s other side. “The chat should damn well know, they read the title of the video.” Alec blinks for a second. “Live. Us. Now. Right.” He turns to the camera. “Hi everyone, bit of a hectic start here! Welcome to this channel's first live stream. Also Eliot’s first live stream, so that’s cool.” Alec glances at Eliot to see if his partner wants to add anything. Eliot stares straight ahead, so the veteran streamer carries on. “Little bit of housekeeping up top. No, Eliot's Twitter wasn’t hacked. Yes, Eliot does watch Miraculous Ladybug, as should everyone else. What else?” Alec adjusts the trays as he thinks. “Oh, this is sort of a fundraiser stream. Not really going to push it, but any donations made will go to Eliot’s 501c for the Food Truck Veterans program. There’s a link in the description to its website, where you can learn more about the program and donate directly.” Alec looks around the room. He does his usual Land Acknowledgement, then says, “Meg isn’t here today. She’s with a friend because we’ll be… doing food related things-”
“Oh God,” Eliot mutters.
“-on the stream today. Okay, now that that’s all done, let’s get into it.”
Parker vibrates in their seat. Clearly, they know what’s going on, unlike Eliot.
“I asked on Twitter for everyone to send in questions that they had for Eliot and boy did you all deliver. I picked out ten that I thought were the most common or most outlandish. I have five alternates, just in case. Now, Eliot has not seen these questions, so he reserves the right to not answer.” A grin breaks out on Alec’s face. “And to entice El to stay here the whole time, I decided to mix up the Q ‘n’ A format.”
“We’re doing Hot Ones!” Parker blurts.
Eliot blinks, then turns to his partners. He points to the trays. “Wings?”
Alec nods.
“You make ‘em?”
“Oh god no,” Alec assures. “You would break up with me if you tasted any sort of meat product I prepared. No, I brought the Hot Ones season 12 hot sauce pack and then I ordered plain wings from our favorite bar.”
Eliot squints at Alec. “Kitch- Kitchen?”
Alec presses his lips together nervously. “I coated the wings in hot sauce and then lined them up?”
Eliot put his head in his hands.
“Hey, none of that. I am a dipping sauce expert.”
“Da- dammit Hardison! Hot s- sauce is not a dip… dipping sauce.”
Parker retrieves one of the bottles from under the table. The label reads ‘Seafire Gourmet Reaper Hot Sauce’. They stick their pinkie into the bottle then taste a bit of the sauce. They shrug. “I’d dip fries in this,” they shrugs.
Alec’s eyes bug out. “Pa- Parker, are you crazy! That one’s…” He checks the bottle, where there’s a piece of tape with a number on the back. “Seventy two thousand Scovilles.”
“Is that a lot?”
Alec nods, staring at his partner in fear.
“Cool!” they smile, seemingly unaffected by the sauce.
“Oh-kay,” Alec breathes. “Let’s get started.” He briefly explains the premise of Hot Ones and then reveals the wings. Eliot and Parker both inspect them. They’re neatly labeled 1 through 10. Once they’re settled, Alec introduces the first sauce. “Alright, so we’re starting off easy with the Hot Ones Classic Garlic Fresno Hot Sauce. It’s got a Scoville rating of seventeen hundred.” All three bite into a wing.
Eliot chews consideringly, while Parker frowns after their first bite.
“It’s empty,” they comment, reaching for the Seafire sauce. They shake out a dollop of sauce onto the uneaten part of their wing and then eat the rest, satisfied.
Alec looks on in concern. He swallows his wing quickly and then grabs a laptop from out of the frame.
“First question: What's your favorite meal to make for pardison?”
Eliot’s che wing comes to a stop. Clearly, he’s thinking much more about the wings than Alec makes space for. Regardless, he answers incredulously, “Pa- pardison?”
Parker giggles. “It’s the ‘ship name’ for me and Alec,” they explain.
“Sh- ship name?” His tone doesn’t change.
It’s Alec’s term to look incredulous. “Have you- Reylo? Stucky? You've never-? God, it's like you don't even listen when I speak.”
“I don't,” Eliot retorts.
Alec takes a deep breath, eyes closed. “You just want me to lose my cool on stream, don’t you?”
Eliot raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, well, what’s your favorite meal to make me and Park?”
The chef thinks for a moment and then finally signs clunkily to Parker vegetables which Parker translates with indignation.
“Just for that,” Alec announces with a huff. “We're going onto the next sauce.” Alec picks it up and reads from the label. “This is Steel City Sauce Co.'s Jade Jaguar Hot Sauce. It is 3,600 Scovilles.” Parker adds a dollop of the other sauce to the wing and then they all take a bite.
Alec immediately fans his mouth. “Jesus, this is only number two?” He grabs a cup of milk from out of frame and downs half the glass. He sets the glass on the table in front of him, flicking his attention to his laptop. “Alright, the people want to know: W hat did we do in the month of silence?”
“Al- wha- Why'd you pick this qu- que- question?” Eliot fumbles putting his cleaned bone on the tray out of frame.
“It was the most asked question! And I thought you might want to weigh in.”
“Pass.”
“Alrighty. My man invokes his right, I respect that.”
“Our man,” Parker corrects with a small grin.
“Damn right.” They fist bump without looking. Eliot looks disgruntled in a way that's clearly put on. “Okey dokey, back up question: How did we meet?”
“VidCon.”
"Really?"
He points to Alec. “Me- met at VidCon.” He points to Parker. “Met after.”
“Really?”
Eliot nods.
“May I elaborate?”
Eliot makes a ‘go on’ gesture, leaning back to take in Alec’s face.
“I was getting ready for my panel for the 2019 VidCon.” While Alec's distracted, Eliot makes the sign for big head to which Parker laughs. Alec ignores them.
“E was in the creator's lounge, noticed that I was freaking out—I don't do in person events y'all—and started doing some grounding exercises that I hadn't heard of at the time. When that didn't work, he called Park for me without me even asking. That was what did it for me, the using-my-thumb-print-to-unlock-my-phone-and-then-deducing-who-to-contact. After the talk, we ran into each other again in line for coffee in Portland. Park was outside with Meg, none of us had anything to do, so we ended up going to an art museum and um… got to talking.” Alec looks between his partners. “That sound about right to you?”
Eliot grunts his approval, but Parker tilts their head. “That was the museum that we-”
“-Looked at those beautiful paintings, you got it in one Park.” Alec interrupts, nodding his head in exaggeration.
“No, but-”
“Park, stream,” Eliot reminds gruffly.
Parker looks straight on at the camera. “Oh, right.” They press their lips together for a moment, eyes wide . “Next sauce?” They finally suggest.
“Next sauce,” Alec confirms. “Next up at —oh god— twelve thousand four hundred Scovilles is Fresno Sauce Company's Chipotle & Habanero Hot Sauce.” They all dig in, Parker and Eliot remain largely unaffected. Eliot in particular seems to like the taste, as he picks up the bottle to skim through its ingredients.
Alec coughs, eyes watering, but he recovers long enough to ask, “H ow do you get pardison to eat veggies? They only eat junk food on stream. Now, I take offen-”
Alec doesn't finish. Instead, he starts coughing, fanning his watering eyes .
“Careful around the eyes,” Parker adds, clearly more interested in saying the classic words than being helpful.
Eliot finishes clearing the bone then says. “I’m not giving away my secrets. Ask something else.”
Alec puts aside his coughing fit to retort, “El, you said it'd be cool to do an AMA but you’ve barely answered a single question.”
“‘Cause you picked terrible que- questions.”
“People never asked about this stuff before,” Parker adds, reading Eliot's face easily.
The streamer wipes his hands on a napkin futilely. “What did you expect them to ask about?”
“Food or self defense.” Eliot gives a ‘duh’ look to drive home his point. His fans have lovingly termed this the eyebro ws of ‘Are you fucking stupid?’.
Alec seems immune. “Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you are currently about a third of real life polyam rep. People want to know about that.”
“Fine.” Eliot struggles for a moment trying to answer the question. “Small pieces mi- mixed in.”
“I'm… not even going to comment on that.” Alec says at the same time Parker exclaims, “I knew it!”
Eliot looks smug and gestures for Alec to read the next question.
“Alrighty, now we've got Hotter Than El Ghost Sauce at thirty nine thousand Scovilles.”
They eat and this time Parker forgoes the extra sauce.
Alec immediately chugs the rest of his milk, prompting Parker to take over the laptop.
“ Will you join Alec on stream?” they ask.
“No.”
“No?” Alec wheezes.
“No.”
Parker shrugs and doesn't give the boys any recovery time as they introduce the next sauce. “The next one is Hot Ones brand! It's the Los Calientes Rojo Hot Sauce at a forty nine thousand hotness rating.” They happily munch on their wing while Alec takes a tiny bite out of his. Eliot nods in appreciation of the flavor.
Parker reads off the laptop a moment later, mouth full. “Y ou said in an early video that you don't like pets. Are you nice to Meg?”
Eliot wipes his hands off on a napkin. “Mmm… Didn't like Meg at… at first, but she grew on me… Real good at fi- finding you whe- when… when you're having a hard time.”
“A hard- a panic attack is not a 'hard time,' E. A panic attack is a panic attack!” Alec protests. Apparently, Eliot's statement is enough to pull him out of his hot sauce induced haze.
“Th- thanks for telling your au- aud… audience that I have panic attacks.”
“They're your audience too!” Alec shrieks. This is the moment that causes most of the comments in the reupload to be some variation ‘Reply if you’re also an Eliot Spencer audience member!!!’.
Parker ignores their boys and has their attention—and hot saucy fingers—on Alec's laptop again. “Ooo! We're finally at the one I like: Seafire Gourmet Reaper Hot Sauce. It's at seventy two thousand heat.” They grin and dig in. Alec continues to sip his milk and doesn't even bother to try his wing.
Eliot wrinkles his nose at the taste and then looks over at Parker in a way that clearly, yet lovingly, communicates, ‘Of course you like this.’
Parker happily licks their fingers, oblivious, and then asks, “ You reposted the Parker XMas video. Why did you take it down and why did you put it back up?” They smile. “I know this one!"
“‘S not trivia, Park,” Alec comments, blinking hard to try to clear his eyes.
“Eliot, do you wanna answer or can I?”
“Let-" Alec sniffs, trying to keep his nose from running. "- Let El answer,” Alec insists.
The chef rolls his eyes. “Took it… took it down ‘cause Parker signs I love you. Put it back… back up ‘cause Parker signs I love you.”
To prove a point, Parker signs I love you to Eliot again and this time sticks their tongue out. Eliot smiles despite himself and clumsily signs it back.
If Alec weren't fanning his mouth, he would have melted at his partners.
“Next sauce!” Parker decides, immediately moving on from the sweet moment. “At one hundred and twenty one thousand: Volcanic Peppers Thor's Hammer Super Hot Sauce!” They cheer in jest before taking a bite. Beside them, Alec slumps in pain against Eliot.
“And the question is: Why did you post for Trans Day of Visibility and nothing else?”
Eliot looks up in concern from Alec and says distractedly. “I'm trans.” He nudges his partner. “Okay?” he asks.
“‘M dying,” Alec intones. He looks miserable. Eliot and Parker exchange a single look and the video cuts without warning.
On a black screen, white text appears. Soon after the stream ended, Parker and Eliot took me (Hardison) to the ER. Apparently I'm mildly allergic to black pepper.
///\\\
\\\///
Eliot wa s barely through the door when Parker laughed a tad manically.
Their partners looked at them wearily.
“I can't believe you're allergic to black pepper.” Parker commented, poking Alec's cheek.
Alec groaned indistinctly, his hand slipping out of Eliot’s to bat their hand a way.
Parker poked him again any way, easily evading his s wats. They held Megabyte's leash in their non-poking hand. The polycule had stopped at Parker's friend Amy's apartment to pick up the dog on their way back from the ER.
“Stop pokin’, darlin’,” Eliot insisted, making the sign for weak as best he can while carrying their bag of take out in one hand. Taking Alec to the ER meant that he wouldn’t have time to make the potato soup he’d planned.
Parker grinned at Eliot’s sign, remarking back, Big baby as they unclipped Meg's leash. She immediately bounded into the living room, sniffing around the coffee table and everything left on top of it. Thankfully, she managed to avoid knocking any of the cameras or lighting over.
Massive, Eliot agree. He shut and locked the door behind him.
“Sthop gothiping,” Alec insisted, gently settling himself on the couch when he would normally flop down with no regard for where his long limbs ended up. Meg, who was looking as worried as a dog could, immediately started nosing around him instead.
Alec patted his thighs and Meg jumped on up. Sometimes, Eliot was the only one who recognized the Megabyte wasn’t a lap dog.
He rolled his eyes at his partner and started cleaning up the living room. They had rushed straight to the ER, leaving wings, sauces, and cables everywhere. Meg found t wo of those of particular interest and it wouldn't be long before she started exploring them again. Eliot hoped they wouldn’t have to go to an emergency vet as well tonight.
"Noooooo," Alec whined. "Cuddle now. Clean later." He made grabby hands at the veteran who sighed.
"Wah- wait." He requested, gathering up all the uneaten wings and trash to clear off the coffee table. Parker started expertly wrapping the cables.
Alec was, of course, on his phone when Eliot returned from the kitchen. He held out his hand and raised an eyebrow. The previously tangled cables were all sat on the stairs so they could be taken up to Alec’s office and Parker was perched on the back of the couch. The tripods, cameras, laptops, and lighting fixtures were all packed away as well.
Parker poked Alec to gain his attention.
“Ow, Park!”
“Give E your phone so we can cuddle.” Parker was excellent at enforcing the ‘no technology during intimate times’ rule that Eliot had invented a month into their relationship. Alec’s phone addiction had been cute for about a day.
At first it seemed like Alec was going to ignore them. Parker was already going in for another poke, this time on his cheek instead of his shoulder, but Alec swatted their hand away. He looked up, expression anxious.
“ Firth,” Alec slurred, his mouth still comically swollen. “Read thith.”
He held up his phone. It was a tweet, but he didn't get a long enough look to see who from.
Parker grabbed the device first and read it quickly. Their eyes flicked to Eliot nervously and they wordlessly passed it over. It was from Buzzfeed. About him being trans. His heart pounded in his chest. In the chaos of taking Alec to the ER, he’d forgotten that he’d dropped that little nugget during the livestream.
He’d known that he was going to come out today. That was the whole reason behind the live stream. They’d been prepared too. Had a whole statement written up that was going to go out on his Twitter after the stream.
But Alec had gone all in on the Hot Ones gimmick and Eliot had forgotten why they were there until the question had been asked. And then there hadn’t been time to explain why he was coming out or to talk about his experiences or pronouns or talks with military officials about the treatment of trans people in their organizations.
And now it appeared that Buzzfeed was trying to cash in on his hasty coming out. He clicked on the article linked in the tweet, his eyebrows knitting together at the honest-to-God listicle. He debated ignoring it, making this a tomorrow problem. But then he saw #3: So is Eliot a man or a woman? and scoffed. Some random Buzzfeed reporter really thought they could come out for him. He passed Alec’s phone back and, without giving it too much thought, he typed up a reply to the original Tweet on his own device.
Alec and Parker both gave it a once over and a seal of approval. Eliot hit send. Everything else could be a tomorrow problem. Now, he got to cuddle and tease his idiot partner for being allergic to black pepper of all things with his other partner.
It had been a long couple of months. Now was letting himself be comfortable and open and happy. Now was about letting himself be himself, in all aspects, both privately and not.
///\\\
\\\///
@buzzfeed tweeted: Popular YouTuber Eliot Spencer came out as transgender in a recent live stream. Here's what you need to know: www.buzzfeed.com/eliot-spencer-trans
@eliot-spencer tweeted: @buzzfeed so glad you wanted to do an article on this. To answer your questions, my name is Eliot Spencer, I use he/him pronouns and I'm a trans, queer, poly veteran.
@theparker
tweeted:
[Media Upload: A short gif of Eliot saying “Pardison” on the stream. He looks incredibly annoyed that the word is coming out of his mouth.]
Notes:
And that's all! I sincerely doubt that I will add any more chapters to this, but there is the small chance I am some day inspired to write more of the scenes described in the first chapter.
Thank you for reading and happy Pride!
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