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"Your general hasn't slept in over three days," Kix nonchalantly sing-songed as he checked the medical file of the trooper Snapper was prepping for surgery.
"Is that so?" replied Snapper in a low-pitched voice, hiding his fury. It had been over six hours after they had departed Serenno, and he had been busy doing what he could for the troopers before they arrived at Kamino.
"Yep!" Kix tattled. "He was working so hard he didn't have time to sleep he said. Then, he said you let him get away with it for even longer than that."
"Is that so?" said Snapper, voice even quieter.
"I thought it was odd. But our Jedi do have their quirks. Of course, I can't do anything about Skywalker, but I do not let Ahsoka go without sleep for that long," Kix said, grabbing a hypo from the pile. He squinted at it before grabbing Overtopp. "What's this say, Vod?"
"When's the last time you slept, Kix?" quizzed Overtopp, eyebrow raised.
Kix stopped moving. "I had a power nap."
"When?" murmured Snapper, suddenly standing right behind him. Overtopp circled to his other side, boxing him in.
Kix swallowed. "Yesterday, maybe?"
"You karking di'kut!" snapped Snapper. "Get your kriffing shebs out of my medbay this instant! I will not have your shaky hands fucking up a patient."
Kix twisted around, glanced over at Overtopp, then crossed his arms. "I'm f—"
"If you say 'I'm fine,'" whispered Snapper, "You. Won't. Be."
Kix took a deep breath. "All right – you win. Is there a spare cot in your office? I can take a nice nap and be ready to go in a few hours, deal?"
Snapper took a deep breath. "You will go to the barracks. You will find a brother or two to share a bed with you. Then you will go to sleep for a solid eight hours."
"But—"
"Shut your mouth, dummy," said Overtopp with a dangerous grin.
Snapper continued, "Then you will eat a large meal. When one of my medics clears you, then you may come back to work." He paused, taking a step back. "Was any of that unclear?"
Kix frowned but didn't bother arguing. "No." This ship was a karking nightmare.
"I have an idea," said Overtopp. He leaned over to Snapper and whispered into his ear.
Snapper laughed. "Topper, you are brilliant. Go call for him."
"I said that I'd sleep," protested Kix. "Who are you calling?"
"Go sit over there," said Snapper. "I'm having someone escort you to the barracks."
Kix sighed and decided to change tactics. "Did you forget about Kenobi?"
"Someone is finding him now," replied Snapper vaguely as he checked the anesthesia of the trooper before okaying Overtopp to wheel him into surgery.
"I bet Cody hasn't been sleeping either," said Kix, still trying to shift the attention off of himself.
"That's why we have the Kenobi-Cody Sleep Protocol," explained Snapper. "When Cody's not the one making Kenobi sleep or vice versa, everyone knows to get them both into bed with each other, lots of blankets, and dim the lights. When they both get sleep-stupid, they can only rest with each other. Life is easier when it's just one of them being difficult, because they take care of each other."
Kix chuckled. "Kenobi-Cody," he mused, "Kencody. Kenody. Ha."
Snapper rolled his eyes. "And you wanted to dispense medicine? Di'kut."
"Who are you getting for me, anyway?"
"Just sit there and be quiet. You're distracting."
At that moment, the medbay doors opened, and Feemor walked up to Snapper and Kix. "Switch told me you needed to see me in medical," Feemor said, a question in his voice.
Snapper stood in front of Feemor, looking him up and down. "Have you gotten some rest, Fee'ika?" asked Snapper in full I'm-the-doctor-and-therefore-the-big-brother mode.
"Um, yes, a few hours after we first got on board. Switch showed me a nook in the flight deck for the younger troopers to use when they need more sleep. I slept for six hours and meditated for another two."
"You're my favorite," said Snapper with a broad smile. "Best patient of the week award right here! Gold star for you! Make a note, Overtopp!" he yelled the last bit.
"Feemor wins the gold star!" came the muffled yell of Overtopp from the other room. Other medics throughout the medbay let out a whoop.
"Thank you," said Feemor with a confused but pleased smile.
"All right, Fee'ika, I've got an important job for you," said Snapper, leaning in closer and ignoring Kix's understanding groan. "I've got a reticent patient-slash-doctor here, and I need you to take charge of him."
"Understood," said Feemor with a sharp nod.
"Good." Snapper jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Kix, flushed red. "I need you to take this… 'special person' over to the barracks and lay on him or whatever you have to do to make him sleep for eight or more hours."
"Oh."
"Kark, Snapper, he doesn't have to do that. Come on," whined Kix. He stood up and wavered on his feet. Feemor was immediately there to steady him.
"I understand," said Feemor firmly. "I will take care of him." He turned and looked down at Kix. Kix blinked up at him, eyes unfocused. Then, with a smile, Feemor said, "Come on now, Kix. Let's get you settled. You'll feel a lot better after a long rest."
"Kark," muttered Kix. "You have pretty eyes."
Feemor chuckled and wrapped one arm around Kix and the other under his elbow. "Let's get you to bed, my dear."
"Oh," said Kix, flushing bright red. He leaned his head against Feemor as he led him out of the room.
Snapper stood there laughing to himself. "He's a goner."
Table and Ice were on a mission. Getting Kenobi to rest when there were tasks that "only he could do" was always a challenge. Getting Kenobi to relax after a challenging mission was a struggle. Getting Kenobi to sleep when there were people who he could help was an impossibility.
That's when the medics or Cody called in Table and Ice. They were the best.
Really, any shiny could work in a pinch; wide-eyed, lip-trembling worry and Obi-Wan folded like a house made of Sabbac cards. Table and Ice just had the most experience.
But today, Obi-Wan was on his worst behavior, and Table and Ice couldn't find him.
"He's not down here," said Harrm in the weapons cache, "but I will keep an eye out for him." He chuckled at his joke – the di'kut had a fancy, silver cybernetic eye of which he was inordinately proud.
When the Kenobi-Cody Sleep Protocol went into effect, every member of the 212th knew to look for Obi-Wan and keep him engaged, while they sent word to Table and Ice. So it was worrisome that twenty minutes had gone by already. Of course, it was crowded on the Negotiator. Very crowded. And their guests didn't know to look out for Obi-Wan. Obviously, no one had anything bad to say about anyone they had rescued. (But their 501st brothers could be a bit much.)
"Where haven't we checked?" asked Ice, pressed against the corridor wall as Gearshift and Longshot dragged a bundle of sparring mats somewhere.
Table thought and answered, "The bridge and kitchens, but one of ours would have radioed us. Weapons bay, inside the starships, the vents?"
"That's Ahsoka."
"You don't think he's self-isolating, do you?" Ice worried. It had ultimately been a good mission but still emotionally exhausting for Obi-Wan.
"He hasn't done that in ages. He comes and finds one of us when he's hurting now." Table grabbed Ice's arm and tugged him down the hall, continuing their search.
"You're right," conceded Ice with a deep exhale. "Maybe he's just meditating somewhere."
"Yeah, maybe he crawled into a vent and fell asleep," laughed Table.
"That's Ahsoka."
Finally, after a few more minutes of wandering the halls, word came to them passed along from brother to brother. "He's in the craft Margo hole?" reported Sure-Shot with a shrug.
"Aft cargo hold," decifered Ice.
"How'd he end up there?" asked Table.
Sure-Shot shrugged. "That I don't know. I had everything that could fit through the corridors moved from the other cargo holds to clear space for all our guests. The aft hold is packed to the beams."
"Thanks, Sure-Shot," said Table, grabbing Ice and running off towards the aft cargo hold.
Once inside, the pair grimaced at the full-to-the-ceiling hold. "General Vod is in the back," said Busy after seeing them staring at the well-organized mess. "Follow me; I'll take you through."
The trio wove their way through boxes, pallets, and crates. As their Vode told them, Obi-Wan was in the back. He was sitting against a container, head tilted back, and fingers carding through the hair of two shinies, asleep, heads in his lap.
Obi-Wan smiled sleepily up at them. "I got trapped," he mouthed, not wanting to wake Cub and Junior. Table sighed. "Please don't wake them."
Ice knelt in front of them and whispered, "Why didn't you fall asleep too?"
Obi-Wan bit his lip and looked away for a moment. "I did doze for a bit. I feel like I have so much to do, and I'm too stressed to relax fully," he confessed.
"We've got you, beloved," murmured Ice. "We've got you."
Obi-Wan took a deep breath when Busy and Table scooped up Cub and Junior. Being hoisted over their shoulders didn't wake up the pair, though they muttered a bit. Ice took Obi-Wan's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Want me to carry you too?" Ice joked as he wrapped an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders and followed Busy and Table back through the cargo hold.
"Mmmm, I think I'm good on my own two feet, my blue-eyed darling," said Obi-Wan, happy to lean against Ice. "Will you come with me to my room?"
"We're going to the barracks. Cody needs you," Table explained over his shoulder.
Obi-Wan nodded and leaned heavier than before against Ice. "I'm happy to help."
Cody wasn't happy. Bonus had kicked him off the bridge when there was so much to do. He was going to rest soon, but no, Bonus had gotten bossy. Cody might be the marshal commander, but Bonus was the first mate of the Negotiator, and on very annoying times like this, Bonus could technically pull rank. Bastard.
Fine, he could get work done from his office.
"Hey, bossman!"
Kriffing kark!
Cody tried to hurry down the hall, but Boil and Waxer flanked him. "How's it going?" asked Waxer, casually grabbing his elbow. Cody shook him off.
"I'm fine. I'm going to my office," Cody said, trying not to snap.
"Mm-hm."
"Bonus kicked me off the bridge," Cody snarled. "He said I was 'in the way' and 'not making any sense.'"
"What a jerk," said Boil, interlacing his fingers in Cody's. Cody pulled away and decided to ignore the laughter in Boil's voice.
Boil and Waxer kept a chipper dialogue as they guided him through the halls. It took an effort to stay steady on his feet, especially since Boil and Waxer kept trying to grab him every few moments. Cody didn't even notice as they steered him past his office and to the barracks.
At the entrance to the barracks, the two groups met. Table and Busy moved first through the doorway, carrying their shiny loads. Next, Ice and Boil gave Obi-Wan and Cody gentle and rough (respectively) shoves toward each other.
Cody stumbled, and Obi-Wan caught him. "Hello there, best beloved," said Obi-Wan, peering into Cody's bleary eyes.
"Hey, gorgeous," replied Cody, managing to smile back. "Missed you." He sighed and slumped against Obi-Wan, who held him up in a hug and angled him toward the barracks.
"I'm sorry, my love. I would have come and found you, but I got trapped," Obi-Wan explained. Boil, Waxer, and Ice started herding them into the barracks.
Inside it was more crowded than Obi-Wan had ever seen. While they were planetside, the 212th had stacked bunks even higher – from triples to four and five high. In the center, they had laid spare mattresses and sparring mats on the deck, piling them with all the pillows and blankets were donated by the Temple. With all the bodies, the room was cozy warm, and they had dimmed the lights so that one could see just enough not to step on a brother. The sounds of snoring and murmurs were a calming noise in the background.
"There's a spot over here for you all," whispered Longshot, meeting them at the doorway and guiding them through the sleepers. Then, he led them to the center of the room. There, Table and Busy had laid Cub and Junior down, who were somehow still sleeping. Then, with Truff and Gearshift's help, they quickly shucked off their armor and passed it brother by brother to arrange it under a nearby bunk.
At the other edge of the empty area was Rex, looking disgruntled as Fives and Echo snuggled and snored on top of him. But based on his heavily blinking eyes, Rex was losing the fight against sleep. Hevy, Droidbait, and Cutup were sleeping around them, with O'Niner keeping watch at their backs.
Snug next to him was Kix, with Feemor awkwardly draped on top of him. Feemor was trying to follow the example of the Vode around him and hold Kix down. Fortunately, Kix wasn't resisting and was instead tucked under Feemor's chin, nuzzling and whispering lovesick nonsense. Feemor was a brilliant shade of pink. Obi-Wan grinned at the sight.
As Waxer arranged pillows, Boil and Ice worked quickly. First, Boil snatched Cody away from Obi-Wan as Ice carefully tugged Obi-Wan down next to Feemor. In the next moment, Boil shoved Cody towards Waxer, who guided him down next to Obi-Wan. Before either had time to protest, their troopers had arranged them.
First was Fives and Echo on top of Rex. Next to them were Kix and Feemor, who stopped trying to escape when Obi-Wan gave his hand a comforting squeeze. Then, Obi-Wan was bracketed by Table and Ice, with Cub and Junior curled around his feet and Busy and Truff by his head. He managed to snake an arm out to hold Cody's hand. Finally, Cody was half-squished by Boil and Waxer. Around them, as many Vode as possible cuddled close, winding around and on top of each other – Gearshift, Longshot, Charm, Jesse, Tup, Dogma, Trap, Kosmos, and more.
It was so fabulously cozy that everyone slept for twelve hours. And no one needed to wake them.