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“Well, I haven’t been to Blind Man’s Cove in years,” Calico Jack says at last.
Stede’s chest clenches in a way he has learned to listen to over the past few months. “No.”
Everybody looks at him in surprise. “But you asked…” Calico Jack trails off, and Ed nods along.
“You asked him where he wanted to go,” Ed says. “Man says Blind Man’s Cove.”
The rest of the crew mutter in agreement, and every part of Stede wants to agree in the face of disapproval.
But.
“It doesn’t feel right,” he replies, and that earns him a loud scoff from Calico Jack.
“It doesn’t feel right?” Calico Jack repeats, getting up to get in his face. “What the fuck kind of reason is that? Your fucking feelings? I want to go to Blind Man’s Cove! Let’s go!”
“It’s my ship!” Stede has to speak up over the louder responses from his crew. They’re all gathered behind Calico Jack, and Ed is standing closer to them than he is to Stede. The panic and dread in his chest feels overwhelming. They can’t go. He doesn’t know why, but they cannot go there. “And we’re not going!” He just about keeps himself from stomping his foot.
“Why not?” Calico Jack demands. “What’s wrong with Blind Man’s Cove?”
Stede doesn’t have an argument, he knows that. “Something! And we’re not going!” Stede shouts. He hates shouting, especially at his crew.
“It’s a great place for an ambush.” Ed’s voice is quiet, but it cuts through the loud arguing nonetheless. He turns to Calico Jack. “Blind Man’s Cove was Hornigold’s favourite place for an ambush. Impossible to escape from.”
Calico Jack looks from him to Stede and back to Ed. “Uh. Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess?” He shrugs, laughing at the crew. “So what, right?”
Stede moves forward to stand next to Ed. Now that he knows what to look for, it’s obvious. Calico Jack is too loud. Too boisterous. Especially now. “It’s a trap.”
Ed pulls out his knife and starts cleaning his nails. “Why are you setting a trap for us, Jack?”
“It’s a not trap! Blackie, c’mon, you can trust me. I saved your life.”
“You did,” Ed replies, not looking up from his nails. “From an ambush, if I recall. Pretty weird place to want to go back to.”
Calico Jack gulps. “I, um, just wanted to relive an important moment in our friendship, man.”
“Hmm.” Ed grabs Calico by the front of his shirt to pull him close and brings the knife to his cheek. He traces it down Calico Jack’s face and to his neck.
Stede’s blood runs cold at the ease with which Ed has pulled a knife on his old friend. Yes, Calico Jack wanted to lead them into an ambush, but they caught him. “Ed, I’m sure if we all sit down, Calico Jack will tell us—”
“He won’t.” Ed keeps staring into Calico Jack’s wide eyes. “He’s not gonna tell us why he’s setting us up over a nice cuppa. There’s a lesson for you, Stede. Now, Jack, would you like to help me show how pirates question each other?”
Roach’s hand shoots up. “Oh, oh, is it with torture?”
“Yes.” Ed gives the cook a nod. “Well done.”
Roach grins proudly, elbowing Frenchie. “Do you think Blackbeard will let me use my nail bat?”
“A nail bat?” Calico Jack asks, sounding panicked.
Ed looks at Stede. “I think this could be a useful lesson to your crew in effectively questioning a prisoner. What do you think? Shall we leave them alone with Jack for fifteen minutes? No one’s using that rec room.”
“Torturing prisoners is great recreation,” Roach agrees, grinning happily. “You’re always telling us to use that room to unwind, Captain!”
Stede gulps. Having Calico Jack questioned by his crew is probably less painful to him than having Ed do it. And the thought of Ed hurting Jack doesn’t sit right with Stede. “Very well. We will check on your progress in ten minutes. Ten minutes!” he shouts after them, when Wee John and Roach grab Calico Jack by the arms to drag him with them. Stede grabs Oluwande by his sleeve. “Can you make sure they don’t, y’know…”
“Kill him?” Oluwande asks and sighs. “I’ll keep an eye on it, Captain.” He follows the rest, raising his voice to talk about the value of psychological terror.
Stede watches them go with some concern. “I should go with them.” He’s Captain, after all. But Ed’s hand’s on his arm, and when he looks at Ed, his face is unusually serious.
“Oh no,” Ed tells him. “You’ve got some questions to answer as well, Stede. I might let you have a nice cuppa during, if you cooperate.”
Stede nods and follows Ed to the Captain’s quarters. Ed’s shift in mood makes him nervous. “It must be hard for you, knowing your old friend was trying to lure you into a trap.”
Ed grunts as he opens the door. “I shouldn’t be surprised.” He runs one hand down his face as he falls down on the couch. “But I should’ve been the one to see it coming. Not you.”
Stede takes the chair next to the couch, letting Ed have his space. “You didn’t expect it. You were so happy to see him again.”
“And you weren’t happy to see him at all.” Ed huffs. “Still, you tried.” He gets up again, taking a bottle of brandy and two glasses from the cupboard and pours one for Stede. “Now, tell me how you know about Blind Man’s Cove.”
Stede sighs, picking up the brandy and swirling it around in his glass. “I don’t. I didn’t know about it being great for an ambush or about Hornigold. Until Calico Jack mentioned it, I didn’t know I didn’t want to go there.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” Ed’s watching Stede like a hawk. “How did you know?”
And there’s that serious tone again. Ed has been betrayed by one friend today already, after all. Stede knows he won’t get out of this without telling Ed the truth. And maybe it’s time that he tells Ed. They’re co-captains, right? It’s not right to keep something this important from him. “With Buttons’ help. And a sea-witch.”
Ed is silent for a long time. “You made a deal with a sea-witch?” He sounds horrified. “When?”
“About a week after setting sail with the Revenge,” he says. “It was just me and Buttons at first. I—I hadn’t really thought beyond that.” All he knew was that he needed to leave, and he had. “I told Buttons I didn’t know where to go and that I needed help to figure that out. So, he arranged a meeting with a sea-witch. She was very helpful,” he adds, when Ed groans.
“Of course she was. Sea-witches always are.” Ed shakes his head. “Everyone knows you don’t make deals with them. It’s never worth it. The price is always too high.”
Stede smiles at the memory of his deal. “Not in my case. Buttons made sure she was a decent sort.”
“There are no decent sea-witches.”
Stede sips his brandy. “Ever met one?”
“No, of course not,” Ed splutters. “I’m not messing with them!”
“Then how would you know there aren’t some nice, perfectly helpful sea-witches out there?” Stede gives Ed a sunny smile.
Ed sighs. “What was the deal?”
“I discussed it with Buttons beforehand,” Stede explains. “I wanted to get it right, you know. The exact phrasing. Fortunately, I’m no stranger to strict and strange rules.”
“The deal?” Ed demands.
Stede smiles. “She gave me a sense of direction.”
Ed frowns at that. “You needed help to navigate?”
“Yes.” Stede swirls his brandy. It sounds silly to explain this to Ed, who never seems to have trouble deciding what he wants and going for it. He puts one hand on his heart. “Not the cardinal directions, but a sense of where I should go next. Where I needed to go next. She—she let me follow my heart.” And his heart wanted to find a crew and adventure.
Ed stares at him. “She what?”
Stede grimaces. “I didn’t have a lot of practice doing that. The marriage, the kids… I worked on my escape plan for so long that once I left, I didn’t know what to do.” He remembers those first days well, and the lonely nights in his cabin. “When I mentioned this to Buttons, he told me about an old friend of his who could let me follow my heart and go where I needed to go. At a price.”
Figuring out how it worked took some trial and error. When Stede knows where he wants to go, the tug is strong and immediate, like when he decided they should go to the Republic of Pirates. If he isn’t sure where to go next, the tug takes a while to settle and it’s weaker, but still there. And when he follows it, he knows everything will work out fine. Eventually.
Ed is quiet for a long time. “And what was her price?”
Stede snorts at the memory. “Oh, she did this whole dramatic spiel about needing to give up my most valuable possession. You’d have appreciated her sense of drama, I think.” He takes another sip of brandy, ignoring Ed’s impatient huff. “She wanted my cock.”
Ed opens his mouth, closes it, then runs one hand down his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. “She. The sea-witch. Wanted your cock?”
Stede shrugs. “I know! Not sure what she wanted it for, but she had an entire collection of them in glass bottles. Maybe it’s a hobby?”
“And you agreed?”
“Well, it wasn’t like I was using it,” Stede replies. “I was glad she didn’t ask for one of the kids, to be honest.”
“Weren’t using it.” Ed frowns. “Wait, so how do you piss?”
“Oh, she gave me a replacement! Would you like to see?” Stede gets up.
“Sure.” Ed’s voice is tentative.
Stede moves to stand in the sunlight streaming in through the portholes. “On the whole, I think it’s an improvement.” He unbuttons his breeches and watches as Ed leans closer, and there’s an excited twitch in his breeches. “Oh, behave.” But he knows it’s pointless. His new appendage has a mind of its own.
Ed raises an eyebrow at that, but his mouth falls open once Stede pushes his breeches down to mid-thigh. “What the fuck, man?” he whispers, then faints and falls on the floor.
Stede looks down at his tentacle dick, which droops against his thigh. “Don’t take it personally,” he says. “He’s probably just impressed.” Because Stede certainly is. His tentacle dick is much prettier than his boring flesh-coloured one was. This dick is a beautiful deep blue at the base and the light blue of a sunny sky at the tip, with smooth skin all over. At the moment it’s flaccid, about five inches long. It’s much easier to control than his old one, meaning it doesn’t get in the way when dressing either. It can twist around his fingers, and stroking it is more intense than a regular hand job has ever been.
Yes, Stede may have spent his first evening having a tentacle dick jerking off feverishly. Can you blame him?
Stede pulls up his breeches first and puts a pillow from the settee under Ed’s head as he blinks slowly. “Hi,” he says, brushing some hair out of Ed’s face.
Ed frowns up at him. “Huh. And why am I on the floor?”
“You had a bit of a shock.” Stede sits back to grab the brandy. “Here you go.”
Ed sits up on the couch, eyeing him suspiciously as he takes the brandy and sips. “Was the shock something you showed me just then?” His eyes dart down to Stede’s groin.
Stede smiles. “Yes.”
“So you…” Ed trails off, clearly not sure if he saw what he saw. “You made a deal with a sea-witch.”
“Yes.”
“In exchange for a tentacle dick.”
“To find what I needed to find,” Stede corrects, face flushing at Ed’s response. “And yes, in exchange for a tentacle cock. And today it’s proven it comes with a warning system as well.”
“Why didn’t it warn you away from the Republic of Pirates, then?” Ed glances at Stede’s groin again.
“Good question,” Stede admits. He’s been wondering the same thing. The tug he’s come to rely on was there even when rowing over with Geraldo. At no point did he get a sense of panic like today. Only the sense that yes, that Spanish ship was where he needed to go and that tug was stronger than he ever felt it. “It felt like the right choice. Like somewhere I had to go. Including the Spanish galleon, and we all know how that ended…” He trails off, wincing at the memory of being stabbed and choking to death.
Ed hums in agreement. “That explains why Buttons insisted on bandaging you. But I think you should go back to that sea-witch and get your own cock back if it can’t even warn you away from almost getting killed.”
“It warned me today, didn’t it?” Stede insists. His new instinct hasn’t been wrong so far. “And it all worked out, didn’t it? You were there. You rescued me, and—” He pauses when the realisation hits him. He doesn’t always know why the tug leads him where it does. He doesn’t know what his heart wants. But it led him to Ed, and Ed is…
Ed is definitely what Stede’s heart wants.
“And I’m fine,” Stede mumbles, feeling his cheeks redden as he sips his brandy.
Ed shakes his head. “You almost weren’t, man. Fuck, does that mean whatever Jack was cooking up was worse than the Spanish?”
“Possibly,” Stede replies, still reeling from the fact that he’s, what? In love with Ed? Wants Ed? His chest feels far too tight suddenly. “I don’t know.”
“You’re the one with the tentacle dick compass!”
“My cock isn’t a compass!” Stede exclaims, frustrated with Ed and all his confusing new feelings. “I feel it in my heart, all right? And today, when Calico Jack mentioned going to Blind Man’s Cove, I felt scared. Panicked. That’s why I said we couldn’t go.”
Ed finishes his brandy in one big gulp. “Let’s check in on the rec room. But then we’re gonna go back to talking about your dick compass.” He puts the glass back on the table, then gets up.
“I don’t have a dick compass,” Stede grumbles, but follows Ed.
It’s what his heart wants, after all.
*
When they reach the rec room, Stede hears arguing voices, but no screaming from Calico Jack. Which is good, probably. He knocks on the door before entering, and Ed rolls his eyes before heading after Stede.
They’ve tied Calico Jack to a chair using one of the jump ropes. “Please, I’ll tell you everything. Just get me away from these idiots.”
Stede looks him over. “You’re not bleeding.” He glances at Oluwande, who gives him a pleased smile.
Roach raises his nail bat. “We can make that happen if you like, Captain!”
“I did my lovely singing,” the Swede says.
“Aye, we did a duet,” Buttons adds. “Man doesn’t appreciate fine culture, does he?”
“I asked him for feedback on our room design.” Frenchie shows Stede some sketches, too briefly for Stede to know what the scribbles mean. “But I don’t think he gets interior decoration.”
“He didn’t even get the concept of a sitting nook,” Wee John scoffs.
“I told him a ghost scary,” Pete says. “It was super scary. The scariest.”
“You totally made him piss his pants,” Lucius assures him.
“Hey!” Calico Jack huffs. “Me pissing my pants is entirely unrelated to his dumb ghost story!”
That leads to another argument between Calico Jack, Pete and Frenchie over the ghost story and whether it was scary enough, and Stede raises his hand. “Crew!” he calls out. “Silence. I believe our guest wanted to tell us everything.”
“Talk,” Roach says, gesturing at Calico Jack with his nail bat.
Calico Jack glares at him, then looks at Stede and Ed. “It was Izzy’s idea,” he says.
Next to Stede, Ed swears, but they all settle in to listen.
*
After an hour of further interrogation, they all lead Calico Jack to the dinghy he arrived in. Ed keeps throwing Stede suspicious looks. “You’re really gonna let him leave? Like that?”
“Yes,” Stede replies. “After all, we’re aware of the trap, aren’t we? And Izzy and Spanish Jackie should know their plan to sell us out to the English didn’t succeed.”
“He’s just selling you out,” Calico Jack tells him, not for the first time. “He’s not selling out Blackbeard.”
Ed snorts. “I’ll ask Izzy to explain the difference to me one day.” He gives Calico Jack a cold smile. “You can tell him I look forward to that explanation.”
They watch as Calico Jack settles in the dinghy. “I trust you’ve learned your lesson,” Stede tells him.
Jack shakes his head as he grabs the oars. “I hope you have!” he shouts back. “Izzy was right. What a bunch of idiots,” he mutters, loud enough for Stede to hear.
“Wee John, can you grab a cannonball and give it to Calico Jack? As a parting gift?” Stede asks.
Wee John runs across the deck to grab one. “This one, Captain?”
Stede nods, and next to him, Ed is laughing. “Yes, that one should do.” He looks down, and Calico Jack has sped up his rowing. “Oh, do you think you can throw it that far?”
“Could try,” Wee John says.
The cannonball sadly doesn’t land in the rowboat, but it hits an oar, breaking it in half. Calico Jack swears loudly.
“Whoops,” Stede says, sharing a grin with Wee John. “Our bad!” he calls out.
“Fucking Izzy!” Calico Jack shouts.
Ed nods. “Fucking Izzy.” He turns to Stede. “Now, is there something you would like to share with the crew, Stede?”
Stede sighs. “Fine.” He takes a deep breath and faces his crew. “A few weeks after I first set sail, Mr Buttons helped me make a deal with a sea-witch and—”
“Captain, no!” Frenchie looks distressed.
“And she gave me some useful instincts in exchange for a—a tentacle manhood,” Stede says, face red.
The crew stares at him, except for Buttons, who has wandered off to talk to Karl.
“I’m sorry.” Lucius raises his hand. “I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that.”
Ed nudges him. “Best show ‘em what you showed me.”
Stede grimaces, and his cheeks are still red as he drops his breeches for the second time that day. His tentacle slithers between his thighs, trying to hide from view.
Roach is the first to move closer and lean in. “Huh. I thought it’d be bigger.”
“That is your problem?” Ed asks. “The size?”
Roach nods and steps back. “Nice one, Captain.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but can I sketch you?” Lucius asks, tilting his head.
“If a sea-witch gave you that, it’s cursed,” Frenchie insists.
“Don’t be besmirching Nereida’s name. She’s a lovely lass!” Buttons calls back.
Frenchie goes to Buttons to argue over sea-witches, Wee John joining them and putting a hand on Frenchie’s shoulder to keep him from panicking. Roach goes back to the galley with the Swede, Pete and Oluwande to make lunch, which leaves Lucius and Ed as the only ones still looking at Stede’s tentacle cock.
“Seriously,” Lucius says. “Can I sketch you? It’s kind of cool.”
Stede nods. “Sure.” He smiles at Ed. “See, Lucius thinks it’s cool.”
“I never said it wasn’t cool,” Ed grumbles as they head back to Stede’s cabin because the light is good there and they won’t get in the way. Lucius has run off to get his sketch book.
“You fainted at the sight of it,” Stede reminds him.
“Are you telling me you didn’t when you first saw it?” Ed demands, once they’re inside Stede’s quarters. Ed pours them more brandy. “I mean. It’s your dick.”
“You seem more upset about that than I was,” Stede says, which he doesn’t understand, because why should Ed care so much about his cock? “I already told you. I think it’s an improvement.”
Ed huffs as he sips his brandy, and Lucius enters.
“Hello!” he announces cheerfully, bounding over to Stede. “I was thinking if you sit here on your bed, the light’s great. Just get those breeches out of the way, shall we?”
Lucius drags over a chair while Stede makes himself comfortable with his brandy in hand. Ed is standing there with his own glass, frowning at Lucius.
“You’re taking this very well,” Ed comments.
Lucius shrugs as he sketches. “Your shirt’s still in the way,” he tells Stede.
Stede tucks it up. By now, his tentacle dick seems to be used to being out, and is resting against his thigh. “Do you need me to put it in a specific position, or…”
“This is fine,” Lucius assures him. “Unless you’ve got a particular pose in mind? I don’t know what’s comfortable for you.”
Stede looks down at it, frowning slightly. It’s different doing this with other people watching, but his tentacle dick lifts at the tip first, then rises into the air. The tip sways slightly.
“Fuck off,” Ed mutters. “It’s—it can move?”
Stede lowers his hand to show that it can wrap around his finger. “Yes.” He bites back a groan, because even this slight touch is already sending pleasure through his body. He hopes Lucius and Ed just think his flushed cheeks are from embarrassment.
“All right, that is pretty cool,” Ed says.
“Maybe just the tentacle without the hand?” Lucius suggests.
Stede is relieved to let go of his tentacle and nods. He lets it rest against his thigh again. “It’s easier this way.”
“But you don’t regret giving your old cock up?” Ed asks.
Stede shrugs. “Honestly, this one’s much more convenient. You’ve seen how it moves.”
“Yeah.” Ed shifts on his feet, then takes another sip of brandy.
“We sure have!” Lucius grins up at Ed, who glares at him.
“Besides, I wasn’t using the old one for anything.” Stede sips his brandy.
“And you didn’t have any plans for it?” Ed asks. “None whatsoever?”
Lucius huffs a laugh at that as he keeps sketching.
“What plans?” Stede replies. “I have two children. I’m not planning on having any more.”
Ed pulls up a chair to sit next to Lucius, leaning over to take a look. “Did you hear that? No plans.”
“Oh, I heard.” Lucius shares a look with him.
“What?” Stede demands, getting annoyed.
“Nothing,” Lucius says innocently. “Just… I would’ve thought that suddenly having a tentacle cock would give you some… ideas about how to use it.”
“But I am using it,” Stede protests, then realises how that sounds. “I mean, it’s part of the deal. I get new instincts about where to go. And I’m using those.”
Lucius hums in agreement. “All right, but maybe there are other ways you could use it?” He raises his eyebrow pointedly.
“I can think of a few things,” Ed adds, then grins.
Stede sips his brandy. If he’s honest, so can he. The way Ed is watching him, dark eyes darting down to his tentacle dick now and then, is making Stede feel warm. And knowing that meeting Ed was something his heart needed isn’t helping. Now that Calico Jack is gone and they’re just sitting here, it’s impossible not to think about what that means.
He needs Ed. Not just as a friend, or a mentor, or a teacher. But as something more.
“Why is it changing colour?” Lucius asks.
Stede blinks, looking down to see his tentacle dick turn turquoise. “Bugger,” he mutters. It does that as the first stage of arousal. The colour change is first, but next is swelling up, becoming thicker and longer.
“Is it bad?” Ed asks, leaning forward.
“No!” Stede says. “But, um, I think we should continue this sketch some other time! Terribly sorry, Lucius.”
Lucius doesn’t even seem surprised as he closes his sketch book. “Don’t worry, Captain.” He gets up, giving Ed a smirk. “Have fun making plans.”
“Fuck off,” Ed tells him, giving Lucius a glare that doesn’t impress the other man.
Stede is looking out the window instead, hoping that the sight of the sea will calm him down. But now that he’s alone with Ed, there’s a fluttery feeling in his chest. It’s a mixture of joy and panic. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t know what to do. His heart led him to Ed, and now they’re here and alone and Stede isn’t sure what he wants, except for Ed to be with him.
His tentacle dick twitches against his thigh.
Stede starts when the mattress dips and Ed joins him on the bed. He knows his eyes are wide when he looks at the other man.
Ed sips his brandy. “So, tentacle dick, huh?” He nods at it.
“Yes.” Stede’s mouth is dry. The only thing to drink on hand is the brandy, which is making him feel lightheaded. But looking at Ed is also making him feel lightheaded, so drinking more brandy is probably fine. “You don’t like it.”
Ed grimaces. “I didn’t—I don’t not like it! I just… I would’ve liked a go at your regular cock, too!” And is that a pout?
“A go?” Stede repeats, and oh, Ed can’t be talking about what Stede desperately hopes he’s talking about, right? He watches Ed’s face, but Ed is staring down at his tentacle cock, and Stede can feel it grow thicker under his gaze.
Ed shifts on the bed. “It’s growing,” he whispers, and his tone is… reverent? It’s not scared, at least. “Why’s it doing that?”
Stede throws back the brandy, then puts the glass on the bookshelf over his head. “Same reason a regular cock grows,” he replies quietly.
Ed’s eyes finally meet his. “Is that so?” His voice is warm.
“Yes.” Stede tries to keep his voice steady, tries not to betray his nerves.
Ed leans over to the chair to put his half-full glass down. “And is that because you’re into being sketched, or…”
Stede laughs, relieved Ed seems to be in need of reassurance as well. “I think it’s because I finally figured out what my heart wants, and it’s sitting right next to me.”
Ed’s eyes, always the window to his soul, turn impossibly soft. “Oh. You sure? I mean, might be something else. Might be my top you’re after.”
“It is a very nice top,” Stede agrees, smiling. “But no.” He reaches out to take Ed’s hand.
Ed twines their fingers together. “I’m not a good man.”
“Neither am I.”
“I’ve done terrible things to people.”
“So have I.”
Ed looks at him. “You’re sure?”
Stede doesn’t reply, focusing inward. There’s still that fluttering inside of him, and it’s moved down to his stomach and the rest of his body. But it’s joy. It’s pure joy. “Yes. I think you’re the thing I needed I didn’t know I needed.”
“Fuck,” Ed says, blinking furiously. “I mean, same.”
Stede can’t stop grinning. “So, do you agree that me making a deal with a sea-witch was a good idea, after all?”
“Hm, I’ll get back to you on that.” Ed reaches for Stede’s tentacle cock, which has turned fully turquoise, darker at the base and lighter at the tip. “Can I touch it?”
“Please,” Stede breathes, and gasps when Ed runs one finger from base to tip. “Ed!”
Ed jerks his hand back. “Does that hurt?”
“No.”
“Oh. So…” Ed trails off, running his finger from base the tip again, and keeps stroking as Stede squirms. “That’s good?”
“Yes,” Stede manages, and his tentacle wraps around Ed’s finger when Ed’s about to pull away. “Don’t. Again. Please?” It’s the first time someone else is touching it, and Stede didn’t expect it to feel so good.
“You’ll have to let me go if you want me to touch you,” Ed says, and the tentacle loosens. Ed hesitates, but then wraps his hand around the base.
Stede shudders, hips bucking up. “Please, Ed.” His hands dig into the blankets underneath. His thighs are trembling and the sensation is almost too much.
Ed watches him as he slowly moves his fist up and down. “It feels warmer now. Is it still growing?”
“Hm-mm.” Stede moans, thrusting up into Ed’s grip. “It—it does that as I get more, mm, aroused.”
Ed moves to sit more comfortably on the bed, one leg stretched out, his other bent with his foot on the floor. “How big does it get?”
Stede looks down, trying to guess. “Not much bigger? I don’t—I never measured it.” He moans again.
Ed licks his lips. “Okay, so a nice, manageable size.”
“Manageable for what?” Stede asks, panting.
Ed grins at him. “My plans. The ones I originally had for your regular dick, but I can adapt.”
“Oh,” Stede replies, mind whirling at the revelation that Ed has apparently been wanting to do this for a while. “I’m sure they’re wonderful plans.”
Ed hums, still stroking Stede’s tentacle cock up and down slowly. Maddeningly slowly. “You might want to get more clothes off.”
Stede’s already shrugging his coat off when he realises he can ask Ed to do the same. “Only if you do.”
Ed nods and lets go of Stede’s tentacle cock to deal with his buckles.
Stede reminds himself that the loss of clever fingers around his tentacle cock is only temporary, and he hastily removes the rest of his clothes, throwing them onto the chair vacated by Lucius earlier. His fingers tremble as he undoes his garters, requiring more swearing than usual. He’s relieved to hear Ed grumble at his own buckles.
And then they’re finally both gloriously naked, and Stede isn’t entirely sure what to do.
Fortunately, Ed is, and he leans over to lie down next to Stede. His hand comes up to cup Stede’s cheek, tilting his head to face him. “Is this all right?” Ed asks.
Stede nods, about to ask why it wouldn’t be, and then Ed kisses him.
There’s the scratch of Ed’s beard against his skin, so different from the touch of his hand or his lips, and Stede’s eyes are wide in surprise when Ed pulls back.
“Why did you stop?” Stede asks.
“You didn’t kiss me back, I thought…”
“I didn’t… my kissing experience is extremely limited,” Stede argues.
“So is mine,” Ed grumbles. “But I know you’re supposed to kiss back if you like it, and—”
Stede kisses him to shut him up and because he liked that first kiss, and then Ed kisses him back, tongue darting across his lips. Stede opens his mouth slightly and oh, this is so much weirder and better than he expected.
Ed’s hand moves up to run through his hair, pulling Stede closer until their bodies press together.
Which means Stede’s tentacle cock, fully swollen, rubs against Ed’s thigh and the friction is wonderful. Stede can’t stop himself from rubbing against Ed’s thigh, whimpering into the kiss as he wraps his arm around Ed’s waist. Stede’s cock is slithering against Ed’s thigh, and finally finds Ed’s cock.
Ed moans at that, pulling back and looking down. “What’s it doing?” he whispers.
Stede follows his gaze and sees his cock wrap around Ed’s. “Do you want me to stop?”
Ed lets out a whimper as Stede’s cock wraps around the base of his. “I never want you to stop doing that, fuck!”
It’s strange to feel Ed’s cock harden in the grip of his own, to watch it grow before his eyes. “I don’t think I want to stop either,” Stede admits.
“Good,” Ed says, and kisses him again, thrusting into him.
Stede’s clutching at Ed desperately, wanting more but not sure what, and Ed presses forward, rolling Stede onto his back. His thigh slides between Stede’s legs.
“D’you want to try something else?” Ed asks, his eyes wild.
Stede nods, but when Ed doesn’t move, he frowns. “Sure, go ahead?”
Ed glances down. “You’re gonna have to let me go so I can move.”
It takes some effort, but Stede gets his cock to loosen its grip on Ed’s cock. “Sorry. I enjoyed doing that.”
“Yeah, same.” Ed flashes him a grin. “But I think you’ll enjoy my next plan just as much.”
Before Stede can ask what the plan is, Ed is kissing down his neck, teeth scraping across a sensitive spot that has Stede shuddering all over, even if his tentacle cock is sadly neglected.
Ed nips and kisses at the rest of Stede’s chest as well. “Sorry,” he mutters against Stede’s nipple. “In a hurry at the moment.”
“In a hurry to get where?” Stede laughs, feeling giddy at the sight of Ed, naked and willing and happy in his bed.
He won’t hear another bad word spoken against sea-witches ever again.
But then Ed kneels over Stede’s groin, and Stede’s tentacle cock perks up, the tip swaying over to Ed’s mouth. “Oh!” Stede squirms with embarrassment. “That isn’t—I don’t have perfect control over it.”
Ed smiles fondly. “Don’t worry.” And then he carefully licks the tip of Stede’s tentacle cock.
Stede groans at the sudden pleasure and bucks his hips. “Ed!”
One of Ed’s arms presses across his hips as he licks the tip again. “I can’t give you a blow job if you don’t calm down a little.”
“How am I supposed to calm down if you’re down there licking my—licking!”
“I’m not just gonna lick it.” Ed grins up at him, then opens his mouth to take the tip into his mouth.
Stede lets out a loud moan as his cock slides in deeper. He’s going to lose his mind over this, because nothing has ever felt this good and nothing ever will again. He tries to buck up, knows he shouldn’t, and Ed’s arm presses down firmly as Stede squirms. “Please, Ed, you’re too good.” He reaches out to touch Ed, to stroke his shoulders and arms and hair.
Ed hums around his cock, bobbing up and down.
Stede’s panting desperately, hips rocking as much as Ed lets him, and he can feel his tentacle writhe in Ed’s mouth. “I can’t—you can stop if it’s too much,” he manages.
Ed lifts his head. “Nah, it’s kinda fun! I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic!”
Stede laughs when the tip of his cock rubs against Ed’s beard impatiently. He shivers at the sensation—the beard’s rough after Ed’s tongue. “In that case, I love this plan.”
“Told you,” Ed says smugly, then takes Stede’s cock into his mouth again.
Stede hisses, fingers digging into Ed’s biceps. “Ed, I’m gonna—if you keep this up, I’m gonna come!”
Ed hums again and makes no move to let him go.
Stede whimpers, because surely Ed doesn’t want to swallow what comes out? “It tastes like sea water.”
Ed raises his head at that. “What?”
“The, um, ejaculate. It tastes like sea water.”
“Oh.” Ed pulls a face at that. “Thanks for the heads-up. Wait.” He tilts his head. “You tasted your own come?”
“Yes! I was curious. I don’t recommend it,” he adds.
“To be fair, not a lot to be recommended about the regular stuff.” Ed sits up. “Okay, third and final plan.” He eyes Stede’s tentacle cock. “Yours is more slippery, and the tip is pretty narrow, so I don’t think we’ll need to prepare. Let’s just try it.” Ed lies down next to him, turning his back to Stede.
It takes Stede a moment to figure out what Ed wants to try, then he rolls onto his side. His tentacle cock presses between Ed’s cheeks with no input from Stede. “Are you sure?” His hand is on Ed’s waist. “It’s, well, you’ve seen how thick it is…”
“Yes.” Ed sounds eager, and that does things to Stede, making his tentacle cock quiver in excitement. “Try it. I’ll tell you if it hurts too much.”
Stede isn’t too impressed with that. He looks down, sliding his hand down to Ed’s cheek, spreading them so he can see where his tentacle cock needs to go. His heart races in his chest, both with concern and excitement. Because yes, everything they’ve done so far has been amazing, but the thought of pushing inside Ed is rather overwhelming.
His cock doesn’t share his nerves. The tip seeks Ed’s hole, circling it once before prodding at it, and Ed hisses when the tip pushes in.
“Slow and steady,” Ed tells him, voice wavering. “Slow and—yeah.”
“I’ll try,” Stede replies, and he grabs hold of his cock because he can sense the urge to thrust in and claim. “Not yet. No hurting him.” His cock throbs in his hand, but Stede holds on as it slowly pushes in deeper.
Ed tells him to pause now and then, shifting to get more comfortable, but mostly Ed is too busy moaning and swearing and pushing back. “Go faster!”
“You said slow and steady!”
“That was before I knew how fucking amazing it felt! Get it all in there!” Ed demands.
Stede wraps his arm around Ed’s waist again, pressing closer and kissing Ed’s shoulder. “Happily.” If he’s honest, holding back from thrusting into the heat wrapped around his tentacle cock is a struggle, and he’s glad he can give into his urges.
His cock slides deeper, wrenching a moan from Ed, and Stede runs his hand up and down Ed’s stomach. “Fuck, that’s good,” Ed manages, eyes fluttering shut. “Fuck. You’re ruining me for regular cocks, man.”
Stede smiles against Ed’s shoulder. “Good,” he says, a touch possessive. Once his cock is fully buried inside Ed, it takes a moment before he figures out how he can best move. He starts out with gentle thrusting sensations, making himself and Ed moan in pleasure.
He tries a few different things, fast and slow, but it’s hard to stay in control when the feeling is overwhelming. Ed is shivering against him.
“Stede, please, keep doing that,” Ed pants, eyes closed.
Stede moves his hand so he can wrap it around Ed’s cock. It’s strange to hold someone else’s cock in his hand, and especially weird now that he’s used to his own tentacle. But he remembers how to jerk off, so he tugs his fist up and down until Ed is moaning with every breath.
He comes with a loud shout, back arching as Stede strokes him through his orgasm. Ed sags against him eventually, and Stede knows he’ll have to finish soon before it becomes too much for Ed.
It’s only a few more thrusts before his cock swells up, making Ed whimper and Stede groan, and then Stede comes inside of him, groaning and whimpering at how amazing it feels. He presses close to Ed, never wanting to let him go.
But the feeling fades, as it always does, and Stede’s cock shrinks to its usual size. Stede pulls back and out of Ed, and sees some turquoise fluid drip out. His come now has the same colour as his cock when it’s erect, and it’s less sticky. Another improvement.
He rolls onto his back, and eventually Ed rolls over to face him. “Well,” Stede says, rather lost for words at the soft smile on Ed’s face.
Ed squirms to get more comfortable against him. “Same,” he says, kissing Stede’s cheek.
Stede wraps an arm around Ed again, stroking his hair and back. “Glad you’ve come round to my tentacle dick.”
Ed huffs, warm breath across Stede’s chest. “It’s very persuasive.”
Stede closes his eyes, feeling tired and content. He’s almost asleep when Ed shifts against him.
“Where is it telling you to go now?”
Stede opens his eyes, frowning as he focuses on the tug in his chest. “Nowhere,” he replies. There’s a warm glow in his chest, satisfied and content. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”
Ed wraps an arm around Stede’s stomach. “Same.”