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Like clockwork, Mafuyu logged on to Nightcord and joined the voice chat. She was greeted with warm welcomes from all but one of her group's members, this too was regular. Mafuyu responded with a simple hello and began working.
A few silent minutes passed and Mafuyu found the stillness to be unsettling. Normally, Ena and Mizuki bickered a lot. It was typical for them to do so.
Mizuki has said a few statements that would usually be met with a response from Ena but today she didn’t bother to respond at all.
Mafuyu unmuted her mic. “Ena?” She asked in her normal monotone tone. As she expected she was met with no response. Was this purely because of Ena’s so-called resentment for her or something greater?
Kanade seemed to pick up on what was going on. “Maybe she’s taking a break right now?”
“I don’t think so.” Mizuki also joined in on the conversation. “She hasn’t responded to anything I’ve said at all.”
A few silent seconds passed until Mafuyu remembered something. “Sekai.” She said quickly before leaving to head there.
Mafuyu’s speculation turned out to be correct as her eyes met the brown haired girl’s.
“Oh.” Ena quickly turned her head away and began walking elsewhere. Mafuyu wanted to follow her but she didn’t understand why. She had found out where Ena was and that she was fine so why did she want to follow her?
Regardless of the thoughts swirling through her head, Mafuyu didn’t let them delay her and headed after the girl who was causing her this confusion.
Pursuing her was easy, Ena hadn’t realized Mafuyu was following her nor was she running. After walking for a bit the shorter girl sat down still oblivious to Mafuyu’s presence.
Mafuyu sat beside her and Ena’s head immediately turned to face her. Confusion clouded her face and she opened her mouth to say something.
“Ena,” Mafuyu interrupted whatever Ena had planned on saying. “Are you okay?” Ena only looked more confused.
The shorter girl’s confusion melted into anger. “What.” Malice was evident in her voice. “Now you care?” Ena’s voice was steadily getting louder. “Only after I disappear for a while? That’s the only time you express concern for me?” She was yelling at this point.
Mafuyu sat there unmoving, this wasn’t the first time Ena had yelled at her but why did these words make her feel different? Pain blossomed throughout Mafuyu’s chest. Even more puzzled, she looked to Ena in hopes that somehow she could provide the answer she seeked.
“I’m leaving. Don’t follow me this time.” Ena said, giving her what she thought would be her last hateful stare.
What Mafuyu did next surprised not only Ena but also herself.
Mafuyu had jumped up and grabbed Ena by the wrist to prevent her from leaving. Ena’s head snapped back, her eyes somehow displaying even more rage than before.
“What do you want from me?” Ena didn’t shout. Her voice was calm contrary to what was displayed on her face.
Leaving no room for Mafuyu to respond, Ena continued. “When will you understand that me and you are drastically different?” Mafuyu tilted her head in confusion.
“I just want someone to comfort me, not interrogate me on why I feel the way I do.” Ena removed her hand from the taller girl’s grasp. “Frankly, I don’t care that you can’t understand your emotions. Like yea, it sucks but you don’t have to drag that into everything.”
Ena cast her eyes downward. “You know, it’s less that I hate you and that I expect too much from you.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t get what you mean.” Mafuyu was confused. Ena expected something from her? But why?
“It’s just that I would love for you to be the one to reach out to me. I know you won’t but I can’t help but wish.” Ena looked at Mafuyu. It was obvious that Ena was repressing tears, it worried her, but she chose to ignore that.
“And now that you have, I can't help but be angry at you for not doing it sooner.” Ena gave Mafuyu a watery smile. “I’m really selfish, I know.”
“Ena…” Mafuyu didn’t quite know what to say. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Mafuyu.” Ena responded and turned away to leave, but Mafuyu was itching to say more. She wanted to tell Ena how she felt even if she didn’t truly understand her own feelings.
“Ena, I want to help you.”
“Huh?” Ena turned around to face Mafuyu.
“I don’t know why but I want to be there for you.” Mafuyu continued. She didn’t know why she said this, heck, she didn’t know why she did half the things she did today but the look on Ena’s face after she said what she said was worth the confusion.
“Mafuyu…” Ena started, her face softening. “Thank you.”
Mafuyu nodded. “We should head back, the others might be worried.”
“Kay’!” The shorter girl exclaimed and began heading back the way they came. Mafuyu followed, relieved that Ena returned to her typical energetic self.
Once they met up with the other members, Kanade and Mizuki bombarded them with questions. Ena waved most of them away, not willing to answer them.
Ena announced that she would be heading back to her room and waved all of them goodbye. Mafuyu could swear Ena’s gaze lingered a bit and she smiled a bit wider when looking at her, but it was probably her mind playing tricks on her.
Once seated comfortably in her room Mafuyu began working on lyrics again. It was hard for her to focus as thoughts of the day's events filled her mind.
What makes Ena so special? What does she do to make me feel this warmth? Thoughts like this raced through Mafuyu's head. Maybe she could ask Ena about it?
She opened her rarely touched DMs with Ena and began typing.
Ena, I want to ask you about what I’m feeling right now. When we were talking earlier I not only felt relieved that you were alright but I also felt warm when you acted kindly towards me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this feeling. Do you feel the same?
She sent the message and eagerly awaited Ena’s response.
Do you like girls? Mafuyu’s eyebrows scrunched together upon receiving the response.
I am a girl am I not? How could I not like them? Ena’s next response came quickly.
I mean romantically, dumbass.
Are you implying I have romantic feelings for you, Ena?
Yes.
Mafuyu pressed her back against her chair thinking over what Ena had said. She thought back to couples she’d seen at schools and what they did. Most of it seemed like stuff she would be fine doing with Ena, but did that really mean that she liked her in that way?
Mafuyu's thoughts were interrupted by a ping from her laptop. Another message from Ena. It read, Just letting you know even if we both like each other that way that doesn’t mean we have to date or do couple-ly stuff. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.
There was one thing that stood out to Mafuyu about what Ena had sent so she decided to inquire about it.
You said if we both like each other. Do you like me, Ena?
Shit. This message was quickly followed by another.
Just pretend you didn’t see that.
Okay. I’m going to log off now. Thank you for today, Ena.
Kay’ goodnight
Mafuyu said her goodbyes to the others and prepared for bed. It took her a bit longer than usual to drift off to sleep, thoughts of Ena still pestering her. But she was thankful for those thoughts too. It was only because of Ena that she had become one step closer to understanding herself.