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PART ONE.
Felix was used to losing people. He’d become an expert in mourning, addressed his grief like a hangnail that would never go away. He knew a dozen wrong ways to grieve, and so long as he sidestepped them, he was doing just fine.
Death was a part of life. Mortality was a bitch. But Sylvain was supposed to be different.
Sylvain treated death like a long-distance beau, wrote love letters in his recklessness, danced tantalizingly close every chance he got, just for a taste of it. But somehow, maybe because he was so used to watching Sylvain deny himself everything he wanted, Felix never expected the day to come when Sylvain and death actually crossed paths.
He was not dead yet. Felix whispered it to himself as he clutched Sylvain’s hand tightly in his own (warm, even now, a comfort for Felix when he was supposed to be here to support Sylvain, how the fuck was he being considerate while unconscious?), laid his head on Sylvain’s hospital bed and listened to the soft rise and fall of his chest.
“You’re not dead yet.”
— x —
They’d gotten cocky. All signs pointed to vampires, and they were good with vampires. The most promising young hunters in years, according to the woman who ran the group they’d wormed their way into. Vampire-hunting had been Felix’s idea to begin with, but Sylvain had been eager to put his whole self into something besides the life his father had chosen for him; and even if he hadn’t, even if he’d been leaving behind a picture-perfect happiness, Felix knew that the allure of danger was too intoxicating for Sylvain to deny. Sometimes, Felix pretended that the feeling wasn’t shared.
But spending their entire teenage years learning about vampires and extracting information from the murderers they did track down hadn’t prepared them for a pack of werewolves masquerading as vampires. Felix had known the instant he broke down their door that they were fucked, that this was going to be his and Sylvain’s last night alive.
But death was a part of life, and Sylvain had taken a back entrance, dropped down from a window. He couldn’t run, and neither would Felix, no matter how much his anachronistic sword felt like a toothpick against the hulking mass of werewolves on a full moon.
The rest was a blur of fur and blood and pain, but Felix knew he’d killed at least one wolf, stabbed them cleanly through the heart mid-leap and watched them slowly shift back into a human shape that looked unsettlingly weak in comparison. And by the time Felix found Sylvain, deep in the warehouse the wolves were using as a base of operations, it was too late– he was injured, teeth grit in a mask of determination, neck and shoulder a bloody mess from a massive bite wound. The one responsible was twice his size, held him up on his knees by his hair. As Felix entered, the werewolf stared him down.
“You kill one of ours, we kill one of your–”
He struck without thinking, his reflexes were used to the inhuman speed of vampires, and his blade sliced through the hand holding up Sylvain in an instant.
The wolf recoiled, but Sylvain was ready as soon as he was released, drew his hunting knife and hacked into the closest limb he could reach. One more strike from Felix– nothing stood a chance against them working together. That quickly, they were alone again.
Felix barricaded the door he’d come in just in case, called for an extraction, and turned around just in time to see Sylvain hit the floor.
“Idiot,” was out in a hiss before he’d even reached Sylvain to pick him up. Felix sat and pulled Sylvain’s upper half into his lap, examining his wounds for anything he could do to help before their medic arrived.
Sylvain was surprisingly still conscious, though barely. His voice was quiet, and Felix leaned closer to hear him, desperately fighting off welling panic.
“You look like shit,” Sylvain wheezed out, and even had the nerve to smile. “You come here often?”
“Shut up.” He curled around Sylvain, hugging him close as his breath got quieter. “I could kill you. You’re the worst hunting partner ever.” Childish, empty words, easy filler when he knew Sylvain understood the underlying meaning. Felix cursed him in what could be his final moments for being so easy to talk to. “I hate you,” he whispered. “I–”
— x —
There was a reason Sylvain didn’t die. He should have, his wounds were far beyond what a mortal man could survive… and therein lied the answer.
Werewolves had deeply insular communities, and typically kept to themselves. They didn’t need to hunt humans to survive the way vampires did, so research into them was minimal at best. The group Sylvain and Felix had stumbled on was using the trappings of vampire mannerisms to hide some other criminal activity, but usually it was a ‘we stay out of your business, you stay out of ours’ situation. So when Sylvain had come back bitten, no one was quite sure what to expect. It was exacerbated by the fact that he didn’t turn for another week.
It wasn’t dangerous, he didn’t go feral or start attacking people– just twisted in pain in his hospital bed as something inside him shifted. Felix had seen Sylvain take any number of blows like they were nothing, call pain ‘kind of annoying,’ but the way he nearly whimpered in his sleep as he turned was haunting.
Byleth told them to take some time off of hunting, and Felix didn’t have the strength to thank her for including him. He just grunted his acknowledgement, and took Sylvain home.
— x —
It had only been a few days of house arrest before Sylvain started going stir-crazy. Felix came out of his room around dinner time (or, their breakfast, whatever), to the familiar smell of a roast in the oven, and lemon-scented cleaning products everywhere else. Felix gave a huff of annoyance, but this was a fight he’d lost before it even started.
Sylvain had always been neat, and had insisted on being the one to do all the apartment cleaning when they moved in together, which suited Felix just fine. When Sylvain was supposed to be on bed rest, though…
Felix sat down at the breakfast bar and watched Sylvain busy himself with a cupboard front for a minute before clearing his throat. Sylvain looked over his shoulder and smiled. “Morning, Felix! How’d you sleep?”
“Fine,” he lied.
“Good to hear!” Sylvain answered, pretending to believe it.
It counted, for them, as effective communication– at least as far as the little things went. They knew each other so well as to bypass small talk entirely, could have (and had) communicated on mood and body language alone. Sylvain could tell by the bags under Felix’s eyes, or the way he slouched a bit more than usual, or the tone of his voice, that he’d been up half the night with anxiety and bad dreams of other ways that night should have ended. Felix could tell Sylvain was granting him the right to not talk about it.
But Sylvain would grant him anything to make things easier. Smoother. He’d suffer in silence if it meant Felix was a little more comfortable.
Sylvain was wearing a loose, low-cut shirt to do his cleaning, something old he didn’t mind getting stained, as if anything he wore was less than impeccable. Normally, the deep neckline would distract Felix, force him to find something else to look at. But today when Sylvain turned towards Felix to use the sink on the island, the bandages around his neck and shoulder were put on full display, and Felix’s heart seized up in an entirely different way.
Sylvain must have noticed something, because he paused to glance up at Felix, and gave a little smile. “You good?”
Felix swallowed. “We should..” He lost his nerve halfway through, but forced the words out anyway, quieter, “...talk about it.”
The flat look that came over Sylvain said he did not remotely want to talk about it. But he would grant Felix anything, wouldn’t he?
— x —
He washed his hands and put aside his cleaning for a moment, giving Felix his full attention– uncomfortable, but perhaps a small revenge for making him talk about it at all. A little discomfort for a little discomfort was the way of Sylvain.
“I don’t blame you.” It was a hell of a way for Sylvain to start, deadly serious, and Felix had to take a steadying breath to weather it.
Still, annoyance came through his voice when he answered, “I didn’t think you did.”
“So stop looking at me like I’m a corpse. Stop acting like my life is over. It’s just different.”
He knew Sylvain’s understanding came from a deep empathy they both liked to pretend they didn’t have, and like many of the things Sylvain said about Felix, he had to take a step back and ask himself if it was true.
“...Did you die, when you changed?”
Sylvain shrugged. “I don’t know about the technicalities. People die and come back all the time, though. Surgery where their heart stops for a few minutes before they get saved, that kinda thing.” He said it so casually, like a temporary death wasn’t a big deal. “But I do know that if you hadn’t saved me, I wouldn’t have come back at all. It wasn’t you that got me in there, we both made our choices. But it was you that got me out.”
The timer on the oven went off, just in time to save Felix from having to come up with an answer for all that. Sylvain turned and busied himself with taking the roast out and preparing their dinner-breakfast. By the time it was served, Felix had decided how to continue, and as he dug in he started, “Stop focusing on my feelings for a second.”
“Uh oh,” Sylvain laughed. “I don’t think I like where this is going.”
Felix rolled his eyes. “You never wanted to be a werewolf.” He took a bite, and added, “This needs more salt.”
Sylvain passed the salt, and sighed. “...You’re right. I’m not gonna pretend this is a good thing. Obviously I’m upset that it happened, obviously it’s a tragedy that my life’s changed irreversibly, without my say. It sucks, Felix.” His voice had taken a slightly manic tone it got when he really was upset and trying to push it down, and it made Felix want to protect him against an enemy long-dead. “But I can’t stand the thought of you being upset about it, or blaming yourself. It’s just.. a bad thing that happened. Nobody’s fault.”
Felix stared down at his dinner, and stabbed idly at a piece of meat. “...Not even yours?”
Sylvain gave a huff of laughter. “Yeah. Not even mine.” And the hell of it was, he meant it.
— x —
The security guard at their ‘office’ building gave them an odd look when they came into work less than a week after being sent home, but didn’t deny them entry. They’d been told to take at least two weeks off, maybe three to get Sylvain’s first involuntary transformation out of the way, but they were ever men of action.
Their first stop was Byleth’s office, who gave them a look akin to a concerned mother, but didn’t say anything against it. Felix liked that about her– she respected their choices, even when she didn’t agree with them. She just worked around them. And this time, her way of working around them was to put them back on information-gathering duty until they’d healed up enough to pass a physical exam.
Considering the physical exam was a one-on-one spar with Byleth herself, they had some time.
Their base of operations was a shell of an office, operated almost entirely at night with a skeleton crew in the daylight hours to give an impression slightly better than ‘blatant money laundering.’ It was just enough to conduct research and hide their weapons in inconspicuous storage rooms, and Felix found it as obnoxious as it was useful. He hadn’t signed up for cubicles with his monster-hunting.
Still, Sylvain made the best of it, the same as he did everything. Felix put up with what he was given, his sparse desk indistinguishable from the next, while Sylvain’s space was a joyful mockery of middle class mediocrity– a motivational poster of a puppy, a fake plant he pretended to be keeping alive, a fancy picture frame that still held a stock photo of a pretty woman with a wispy-haired child that either was or wasn’t Sylvain’s depending on his mood when someone asked.
It was just a bunch of jokes, each of them holding a sharp edge underneath them if they were given a little too much thought, but still they managed to make Sylvain’s workspace feel warmer and more welcoming than Felix’s. More often than not, Felix found himself scooting his chair over to Sylvain’s desk instead, bringing his laptop with him. It made the dreary work of sifting through hundreds of obituaries and police reports and tabloids for evidence of the supernatural a little more bearable.
The downside, however, was that Sylvain was significantly chattier than Felix– at his own desk, he could curl into a corner and put his back to any visitors until they got the idea that he wasn’t ever in the mood to talk, but Sylvain left him open and vulnerable.
Which, honestly, was not all that harrowing as Felix built it up to be in his head. But the point remained. If it weren’t for Sylvain, Dorothea would never have bothered to come over to talk on their first night back, and definitely wouldn’t have moved Felix’s laptop to the side so she could sit on the desk itself.
“Do you mind?” Felix’s bitching was half-hearted, and he was already tossing the laptop aside.
“Well, well, what brings the most beautiful hunter in the world to our humble desktop?” Sylvain shifted seamlessly from his previous joking with Felix to saccharine flirtation, even taking Dorothea’s hand to kiss the back of. It was a sickening display of insincerity on both their parts, playing at scandal where there was none to be found, for an audience of no one.
And Dorothea played her part perfectly, “Who, me?” and batting her eyelashes for a moment before dropping it entirely. “Obviously I’m here to check on you two. Not often we have an accident that bad where people come back.”
Felix tensed a little, eyes subtly seeking Sylvain. The way he shifted, rested his head on his palm, crossed his legs– he didn’t want to talk about it. But Dorothea didn’t drop subjects, she was stubborn as a mule and Sylvain knew he couldn’t dodge anything here.
Felix wanted to help, the same way Sylvain had gotten him out of a hundred conversations over the years, but he didn’t have an answer. This wasn’t his battleground.
“Aww, that’s real sweet of you, but there’s nothing to worry about. You know Felix wouldn’t have let me come back if I wasn’t tip-top shape!” He winked at her, and Felix couldn’t tell if that was to cover the lie or to display it more blatantly so Dorothea wouldn’t call it out.
“Right, because I’m always worried about whether you two can work out enough.” She rolled her eyes. “Obviously your injuries aren’t the problem. Weren’t you away because you became a werewolf?”
Sylvain’s smile twitched– a bigger tell than he’d give on his worst days. “That’s handled, too. I’m nothing if not adaptable. Remember when you called me ten minutes before Edelgard’s party to tell me it was actually black tie instead of casual like you’d thought? I rocked it anyway. And I’m gonna rock this too!”
Dorothea had clearly caught the misdirection, but instead of continue on with Sylvain, she – fuck – turned her attention to Felix. “Do you know the first thing I did after Edie got turned by a vampire?”
Sylvain interjected anyway. “Immediately beg her to bite you?”
A pause, and she shrugged. “Okay, the second thing.” Still, her stare remained firmly on Felix, and he fought every urge to avoid her gaze, or just leave the conversation entirely. “I made sure she was comfortable with her new body. I’ve never been not-human, but I’ve fought plenty of them. And we all know there’s more than sunlight and silver to worry about. Do you even know what all Sylvain can do now?”
He didn’t. Worse, he wasn’t sure if Sylvain did, didn’t know what had changed, if anything. Was it only going to become apparent when the full moon came around again– or was Sylvain already dealing with this on his own?
Felix was so focused on Dorothea’s conversation, he had missed the chance to see Sylvain’s reaction, and just that quick, any signs he didn’t want Felix to see were going to be tucked away again. He was saved the need to answer anyway, as Sylvain smiled again, a sharper edge to his tone. “I appreciate the concern, but it’s really not your business. I said it’s handled.”
If she was upset by the harsher attitude, she didn’t give any sign of it, just giving an exaggerated sigh and sliding off of the desk to leave. “If you want to scare me off you’re going to have to show some real teeth, Sylvie. Just remember you two aren’t the only hunters here– I hear you aren’t even the most beautiful.” She winked at Sylvain at that, and Felix wanted to melt where he sat.
— x —
It was another two hours of working in relative silence, occasionally stopping to show each other a funny obituary or potential lead, before the office had all but cleared out while the rest of the team got to hunting. Byleth gave Felix a silent offhand wave on her way out, and he knew it was time to face another difficult talk.
Sylvain keyed into the fact that Felix had something to say before Felix had even gotten up the nerve to look up at him– how he did that, Felix couldn’t say, but it was nigh psychic. “What’s up?” he asked, and Felix jumped a bit even though he had been about to open his mouth.
“..It’s nothing. No. It’s something.” Eugh. Sylvain was patient, though, leaned back in his chair with his arms behind his head. Casual and unhurried, but listening. “...Has anything.. you know. Changed?”
After a beat, Sylvain gave a heavy sigh of annoyance, but Felix knew it wasn’t at him; more likely Dorothea, for revealing his deception to begin with. Sylvain leaned back even more, pushing his chair up on its back legs and threatening to tip over, thinking about it for longer than he would if anyone else were asking. Sylvain taking his time to answer was, contrary to the obvious, a rare sign of honesty. Lies were always at the tip of his tongue, acting came second nature, but telling the truth was harder than saying what people wanted to hear.
Sylvain being ready to speak was indicated by the thump of his chair legs hitting the floor again, and he slouched forward to lean his elbows on the desktop. “I dunno. I mean, we were already nocturnal, so who knows if that’s different. I might be a little stronger, my hearing’s a little sharper… comparing is hard without going back and forth. Oh, but you know how you keep nagging me to get glasses for driving?”
“Don’t tell me–”
“That’s right, I procrastinated so long that I don’t need them anymore. That’s an argument won!”
“That wasn’t an argument, that was you being reckless! Whatever. Anything else?”
“I… I’ve got more energy than usual.” His tone was odd for something that sounded like it should go in the same category as heightened senses, so Felix just quirked a brow to ask for an explanation. “It’s– I don’t know, I don’t think this is necessarily a werewolf thing as a ‘Sylvain with energy’ thing, but I just.” A little laugh, “I wanna break something. I wanna break something so bad.”
Oh. Well. “Is that all?”
“That’s not all, it’s like, potentially dangerous? Like my temper wasn’t enough of a problem.”
Felix rolled his eyes. “Your temper isn’t half as dramatic as you think it is. It’s normal to want to break stuff, everybody feels like that sometimes.” If it were anyone else, Felix wouldn’t be so ready to assert that fact. If it were anyone else, sure, maybe being a werewolf was causing some destructive instinct to come out or something, but coming from Sylvain it was no different than when he was feeling otherwise self-destructive. Sylvain could dig himself a hole six feet deep, but this was Felix’s battlefield. He was always ready to kick the dirt back down. “So.. don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out. Just take care of yourself, and tell me if you notice anything else different. And.. Sylvain.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re in this together. Don’t you dare forget that.”
— x —
Keeping a secret from Sylvain was ridiculously difficult. It was almost unfair, how Sylvain could keep things to himself just by avoiding Felix seeing a single second of broken composure, while Felix had to fight like hell to stop Sylvain learning about one surprise trip.
Luckily, he knew a girl who prided herself on her surprise parties, and who was also kind enough to not ask any questions when he needed help. Annette’s advice had gotten them all the way to the front door of the building in question with Sylvain only beginning to suspect something was off. Felix didn’t answer his idle questions – “Don’t try to make stuff up, you’re a terrible liar,” Annette had said, and as much as it annoyed him, she wasn’t wrong – just unlocked the front door and lead Sylvain inside.
Finally, Sylvain dropped the politeness and asked point-blank, “Felix, is this a job? Last I checked, Byleth hadn’t cleared us yet.” Sylvain did not give a flying fuck about Byleth’s opinion. But he did care about things being kept from him.
“Have I ever told you you’re impossible to do something nice for?”
“What?”
Felix sighed and flicked on the lightswitch to reveal a building that was in absolute disarray inside, a construction site half-disassembled. “The blue X’s are load-bearing pillars. Don’t touch those.” He gestured to them to make sure Sylvain had seen them, and then crouched down to lift up a sheet covering some tools and a radio. Felix turned the radio on loud, and hefted up a sledgehammer to offer to Sylvain, raising his voice to be heard. “Everything else in this building is going down.”
Sylvain took the hammer with a hesitant hopefulness. “And.. we get to make it that way?”
Felix gave a huff of laughter. “You said you wanted to break something.”
As if testing the validity of the setup, Sylvain kept his eyes on Felix as he moved slowly towards the closest wall, which had a small window of glass between two rooms, and with a light smack of his sledgehammer shattered it, waiting to see a reaction.
Felix rolled his eyes, and tossed him safety goggles before donning his own. “Weak shit.” Sylvain shuffled backwards quickly to avoid Felix’s full-bodied swing that connected to the wall with a satisfying thud, leaving a fist-sized hole that Felix immediately opened further as he pulled the hammer out.
A grin spread across Sylvain’s face almost instantly, a look of real, honest delight.
There it was.
— x —
The whole interior of the building took almost three hours to destroy, radio blaring the whole time, and with the mess they were leaving Felix was glad there was a different crew set to do the clean up. Sylvain hadn’t been kidding about having an excess of energy, and Felix had spent more time than he cared to admit just watching him let loose.
It wasn’t something they did enough, anymore. They’d have to make time for it.
By the time they’d run out of walls, windows, doors, and occasional appliances to dismantle with their blunt objects, they were both out of breath, and Sylvain tossed down his sledgehammer to flop onto a wayward piece of downed wall next to Felix.
Felix glanced over, watched the way Sylvain’s chest rose and fell. Sylvain was alive; maybe even happily so.
Sylvain’s smile wasn’t cruel when he asked, “Whatcha staring at?” like he knew precisely the answer. Felix immediately averted his gaze all the same, and willed himself not to go red.
“...We should do this kind of thing more.”
“Break shit?”
“Uh.. yeah. Yeah.”
“Ooor… you mean just do something fun together?” Sylvain laid down on his back, and Felix, pretending it was a coincidence, did the same.
“..That is what I meant.”
He wasn’t looking at Sylvain anymore, but he knew that had gotten another smile, soft and teasing, as if to say ‘you can just tell me the first time.’ “Guess we’ve kinda put all our time into hunting since we got into it.”
“Lot of good it’s done us.”
“I don’t regret it. Worst day with you beats the best day with anyone else.”
Felix scoffed, but only to stop himself from agreeing. He didn’t have a right to not regret it when he wasn’t the one suffering for it.
Instead, he asked, “How do you feel?”
Sylvain’s laugh was soft, gripped Felix’s heart in a way he thought he’d gotten used to, but it sounded somehow different now. “Better. I feel better. And…” It wasn’t like Sylvain to trail off without saying what he wanted to, that had always been Felix’s move, but this time he covered for it by scooting closer, and leaning his head against Felix’s shoulder. “How long have we got left here?”
Felix raised a tired arm to check his phone. “About an hour.”
“Good. I wanna just stay like this a while.”
“..me too.”
— x —
Finding time to meet up with coworkers outside of work was a nightmare, but the next day, Sylvain was determined. He had a problem that was getting harder and harder to ignore.
He texted Dorothea several hours before they were set to go in, and lied to Felix about going grocery shopping when she agreed to meet up at her place. Sylvain’s grocery shopping without a list was an event in itself; the only thing he needed to do to maintain the ruse was occasionally text Felix recipes with a question mark.
“Thanks for having me,” he said as soon as Dorothea opened her door to let him in.
“Roomie driving you crazy?” she asked with a hint of amusement.
“No. Yes? Kind of.”
Her eyebrows raised so high they nearly disappeared. “Oh boy.”
“..Yyyeah.”
She gave a heavy sigh of faux exasperation, as if she wasn’t already abuzz waiting for whatever gossip he was going to drop, and moved to her fridge to bring them back a pair of beers. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need this more than you, but help yourself.”
He did just that, making himself at home on her couch while she curled up comfortably in an armchair. “Okay. I need you to tell me the truth. Like, hurt my feelings.”
“I love hurting your feelings. What’s up?”
“...Do you think Felix is too good for me?”
“Ohhh my god, Sylvain!” she raised her voice and threw a throw pillow at his head, which he blocked to avoid spilling anything. “Is that seriously why you haven’t made a move?”
“I– well– yes! Yes, I think he might be too good for me! And I thought he wasn’t into me.”
“Are you kidding me? I thought you two were already together and just really bad at hiding it. Like, you have this whole playboy persona but when’s the last time you actually went on a date?”
He fought the urge to say ‘last night,’ and instead protested the proper way, “Bad argument, it’s impossible with this job, when’s the last time you went on a date?”
“Don’t try that shit with me, Sylvie.” He frowned very hard to show his displeasure at the nickname. “We are not getting sidetracked. You said you thought he wasn’t into you. Past tense.”
“...Right.” He sunk deeper into the couch cushions, taking a swig of beer and getting up his nerves. “Something happened. The night I got bitten.”
“Okay. What happened?”
“I mean– it could be nothing. People say a lot when they think someone’s dying.” She gave him a look that said to cut the shit again, so he sighed and got to the point. “He was saying his usual stuff, that he could kill me, that I was the worst hunting partner ever… then, after he said ‘I hate you’... he said ‘I love you.’”
He expected her to make fun of him instantly, but Dorothea’s expression had turned to one of a soft surprise. “Whoa. That’s heavy.”
Sylvain’s nerves melted all at once. “Right? He had to think I was knocked out already, he’s not acting like someone who confessed love on my deathbed, so I just– I thought that was it.”
“Oh no.” Ah, the ‘oh no’ of a very supportive friend who knew the horrors of commitment. “It wasn’t?”
“Last night he did something really thoughtful and I know he had to go out of his comfort zone to get it set up and it was amazing and I almost said it back.”
“Sylvie. People date before they start saying that stuff!”
“I know!”
“But I mean… you are already living together. And spend all your time together. And you’re like grossly domestic, it’s adorable.”
“Not helping.”
“Yes it is. I think you guys are already dating and just haven’t figured it out yet.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to avoid thinking of all the reasons she was right. “Back to the issue at hand. Do you think Felix is too good for me?”
Dorothea didn’t answer– instead, she had pulled over her laptop, and before Sylvain could see what she was up to, she was starting a video call that was quickly answered.
On the other side, a bubbly ginger who was in the middle of… doing something with a cauldron. Sylvain waved. “Hey Annette. I see you’re going very old-fashioned today.”
“Oh, hi Sylvain! I wasn’t expecting to see you!” She smiled and waved back, then tilted the cauldron towards the camera to show its lightly glowing contents– and almost spilling them in the process. “Oops! No worries, I saved it. What are you two up to?”
Dorothea laughed, but got right down to business. “Are you alone, Annie? I’ve got a private question, just between us.”
Annette nodded, and then added, “Oh, Mercie’s in the other room, is that okay?”
Sylvain didn’t know what Dorothea was up to, but her casual shrug didn’t bring him much comfort. At least Mercedes was twice as trustworthy as Annette or Dorothea.
“So who’s Felix into?” Dorothea asked.
Annette cheerily piped up, “Oh, Sylvain obviously!”
“Fuck,” Sylvain laughed. “You’re just gonna sell him out that easy?”
“Umm.. well! He never actually told me, so I think it’s fair. Anyway, how’d the demolition go? He was so nervous you wouldn’t like it.”
Though he couldn’t believe the ease with which Annette and Dorothea spoke of his and Felix’s non-existent relationship, the affection in the room was obvious, and he let himself slip into the cheerful gossip for a while as he recounted the last hour spent as good as cuddling in the middle of a construction site, songs neither of them even liked blasting on the radio, sawdust in the air…
Eventually, Annette’s mystery brew started to bubble over and she had to abruptly hang up, which was when Dorothea sat back and looked at Sylvain seriously.
“So. Let’s say, worst case scenario, he is too good for you. Tell me exactly who you’re helping by denying him?” Sylvain opened his mouth to protest, but found himself lacking one. She had a damn good point, and she knew it. “Precisely. If you think he’s too good for you, just be better, dumbass.”
PART TWO.
It started like a fever. Sylvain’s head felt cloudy, a thin haze over every thought, and he couldn’t sleep through the day. He knew there was a significance there, something plucking at his nerves underneath it all, but he just couldn’t place it.
Felix didn’t comment on it, nor on Sylvain’s lack of conversation or that he forgot to make them a proper meal before work or that he was.. twitchy. More red flags he couldn’t place. There was a significance there, to Felix not looking worried in his usual way when Sylvain was having a bad day. He knew something Sylvain.. also knew, but couldn’t reach.
Felix insisted on driving, and Sylvain didn’t think to question it– he could barely focus on a door enough to go through it, let alone keep his eyes on the road. His gaze darted around, following different cars for brief flashes, falling on Felix whenever he tensed up. A pattern there, too. Why was he tense?
Everyone else, too. Sylvain forgot to smile at the security guard, or at anyone else. He tried at some point on their walk into work, a twitch of his lips that felt more like baring his teeth, and was received just as well. Still, it didn’t dawn on Sylvain just what was happening until he got to his desk, and was tugged past it when he tried to sit down.
“Come on, no getting out of the plan now.”
The plan.
There was a plan, of course there was. Sylvain planned everything, even if that planning was only in an instant before it happened.
He felt a little less twitchy with Felix’s hand on his arm, and when he was released, Sylvain stopped in his tracks, silent and unfocused.
“...Sylvain,” Felix’s voice was weak. Unhappy. “We have to hurry. We don’t know when it’ll hit.”
He stubbornly refused to move his feet, until once again Felix lead him physically. Better. He could go along with this. Felix got the idea fast enough, of course he did– they could always talk, even when Sylvain was too low to say a word.
He stumbled down the steps to the basement, and Felix was there, ready to catch him if he fell. In the fog of the room at the bottom, he was all Sylvain could see clearly. But…
“Felix.” His voice came out low and quiet, nearly cracked, the first word he’d spoken all day. “Who here has silver?”
He could feel the breath leave the room, could hear the two– three other people around him. Felix’s frown said he was angry about it, too. And sad. He hadn’t known someone was bringing a weapon specifically tuned to killing Sylvain, but Sylvain could have lifted a hand and pointed directly to it. Felix leaned close, answer meant only for him. “They’re just nervous. Nobody knows what to expect. But I– I won’t let them hurt you. I don’t care what happens.”
Sylvain knew it was true. So when they were separated, he didn’t fight, stumbled backwards and flopped onto the ground as if he meant to be there. He stared down each person who touched him to attach restraints to his limbs, eyes cold and steady. He didn’t see a single one of them, but he could feel their fear.
It felt true in a way he didn’t often experience. He was terrifying. Why had no one ever truly feared him? But he could feel it now, and it twisted, deep in his gut, a sharp, perfect warmth. People were supposed to be afraid of him. Couldn’t they see the way his jaws dripped with the blood of a hundred devoured hearts? Could he show them? Would they ever believe him, if he didn’t?
They were away from him now, iron bars separating them, but their fear wasn’t going anywhere. Safety was a fragile myth he’d break for them soon.
His eyes fluttered closed, and for a while, he just listened. The people watching were speaking amongst themselves, indistinct– no one was talking to him, which was just as well. Sylvain laid on his back and let waves of warmth roll over him, somewhere between nausea and euphoria. A growing static in his ears, numbing needles in his fingers and toes that were creeping further up. He tapped his fingers on the cold stone floor, and wished it was a soft bed.
The heavy restraints around his wrists and ankles were tight. Tighter. Cutting uncomfortably into his skin, but they wouldn’t get any looser, wouldn’t break, he wanted them off. He wasn’t on his back anymore, and as his limbs finished shifting position, he stumbled up onto all fours instead, backing up from the wall to pull away from the constriction.
He nearly filled the cell now, not a bipedal furred man like the one who had bitten him but a proper wolf, covered in deep red fur and straining against the discomfort of too-small manacles. His back hit the door, too small, trapped, and he twisted to gnaw at the metal on his ankles. They didn’t budge.
Panic. He couldn’t panic. He had to break them, they hurt, but this cage was too small. He leaned his whole weight against the cell wall, he’d never make it through the door, he had to get away. This place was never built to contain him– it strained, more, if he just kept pushing–
In his peripheral vision he saw Felix darting out of the way just in time to avoid the heavy metal bars detaching from their frame, and the whole front wall fell in a dust of debris. They were afraid again, everyone but Felix was scared of Sylvain, but he wasn’t free of that wretched constriction yet. With more space, he backed up, pulled against the manacles, and could have shouted with frustration when they snapped at the wall instead of granting him any freedom from the pain.
They were yelling now, and Sylvain turned in a tight circle to take in the room outside his confinement. A light thud as his tail hit something– and he looked back to see Felix had been knocked to the floor. But he was fine, got up on his elbows and lifted a hand to assure Sylvain as much. Fine, but vulnerable, and the only one not filled to the brim with fear of Sylvain.
His hackles raised as the shouting quieted, solidified– Felix was vulnerable, and one of these fuckers was prepared to kill. His body was large enough to place firmly between Felix and the large silver knife now drawn and pointed at him. Through the haze he heard Felix’s voice, “Put that shit–” but whoever he was talking to might as well have not heard. Sylvain stared the attacker down, silent as death and teeth bared. Hunters did not need the warning kindness of a growl. Killers could only be met on their own terms.
The attacker hesitated, took a step back, and Sylvain took his opening to snap down on their thin, fragile wrist holding the deadly silver. His teeth dug into flesh and muscle like they were no thicker than water, a messy, ugly ease. They dropped the knife and he released them to scurry away, up the stairs, out of reach. He didn’t pursue a single step, just licked the blood from his jaws and waited for more danger to present itself.
The room was cleared of the fearful onlookers, all ‘escaped,’ and the silence was a welcome relief. Sylvain flopped onto his side on the floor, keeping one eye ever on the dropped knife as he returned to trying to chew at the metal squeezing his limbs to near-numbness.
Felix was still behind him, now stuck between him and the wall, and placed a hand on his back. It was confident, just letting Sylvain know he was there. “–if I hop over?” He couldn’t fully grasp the words, but he did understand the next ones, “Stop gnawing at it.” Slowly, hesitantly, he did as he was asked, and pulled his head away from the metal.
Felix climbed over him, and patted his side as he went, a comfort that started to unwind some of the tension in Sylvain’s core. “–hurt?” Sylvain nodded as well as he could. “Don’t–”
He laid his head on the floor, and once again wished for a soft bed as he watched Felix move around the basement. First to the discarded knife that he kicked into a far corner in frustration, then towards the exit. Sylvain lifted his head, worried Felix was going to leave him alone– but instead, he grabbed a set of keys by the stairs, and returned to crouch down by Sylvain’s hind legs.
A gentle hand placed near the manacle, and whatever he said was lost in the haze, but Sylvain didn’t pull away even as he touched the sensitive bound area, fought the urge to run as the feeling around that ankle tightened with the key… and finally released. Felix tossed away the metal as best he could with the heavy chain still attached, and was careful not to touch the raw skin underneath as he moved to the next.
Once all four were detached, he stood to gather them up and lug them back into the destroyed cell Sylvain had started the night in. Sylvain drifted towards the itching of his wounds and tried to scratch it with his teeth, but Felix was there again, admonishing him and putting his whole weight into pushing Sylvain’s head away. Sylvain gave a low whine, but again, did his best to listen.
He thrummed with energy, but the unpleasant start and the waning adrenaline from their attacker had left Sylvain… not drained, but at least not so energized to be a danger to himself. Not when Felix was the only other person here, was talking in a steady tone Sylvain could only catch a few words of now and then, leaned against him and unafraid.
— x —
Felix hadn’t thought to bring Sylvain extra clothes for when his were destroyed by the transformation – little details had never been his forte, it was the main thing Sylvain was good for – but luckily, Dorothea had. Which made it all the more awkward when, as dawn broke, a newly-dressed Sylvain dragged himself into Byleth’s office and learned just who he’d attacked the night before.
Dorothea’s arm was heavliy bandaged and in a sling, and the sight of it brought a pang of guilt to Sylvain right alongside the memory of bone breaking in his jaw.
Sylvain himself was a mess, too, angry red bruises and skin rubbed raw on his bare wrists, and every brush of his pants and shoes against his ankles sent a searing pain through his nerves. He’d hurt his shoulder pushing down the cell door, too, a muscle strain that he made sure wouldn’t show through as he moved. He wasn’t allowed to be injured by the way they’d chosen to contain him. He was the monster here, after all.
He slumped into the other chair across from Byleth, no energy to put on a face. He knew he looked like death warmed over, but they hadn’t earned any different. “Go ahead. Do your worst.”
Byleth stared him down, unreadable as ever, before looking to Dorothea. “Our first order of business is finding out if your bite will turn Dorothea the way–”
“No.”
“No?”
Sylvain shook his head. “I can’t explain it. But there’s something extra to turning someone. I knew if I wanted to turn the person I bit, there’d have to be some intention to it. The guy who got me apparently did it on purpose.”
Byleth looked to Dorothea, who was trying to read Sylvain for a long, tense moment. He barely looked at her. But still, she finally said, “Okay. I’m safe.” Now that the worry was gone, annoyance quickly took its place. “So. Why me?”
Sylvain’s gaze fell to the bandages again, and he could only offer half a shrug. “Why’d you bring silver?”
Wrong answer. Her exhaustion immediately left her, eyes fiery. “None of us knew what to expect. My first priority was protection. The first thing you did after transforming was break out and attack Felix!”
“I did not–” he snapped, and cut himself off, taking a breath. “I did not attack Felix. He fell, he wasn’t even hurt. I was protecting him from the person who came equipped to kill.”
“You’re welcome, Sylvain. Because if you had hurt him, you’d have blamed every person in that room for not killing you the second you broke out.”
It pissed him off because it was true, of course– but instinct still clouded his brain enough to make the predatory anger win out over reason. His own bad attitude couched it just enough to not snap at her again, soaking in the vitriol instead. He didn’t even want to explain to her that he hadn’t known it was her, that he didn’t want to hurt Dorothea.
Byleth finally cut in again after the silence stretched a little too long. “Obviously our plan this month didn’t work. Your top priority is making sure this doesn’t happen again, Sylvain.”
Of course it was his fault.
He didn’t respond, and Dorothea – he would have to make it up to her later, a little voice in the back of his head said, but later was later – stood to move past him. She stopped at the door, taking a deep breath. “...I trust you, Sylvain. But I’m gonna be pissed at you for a while.”
He gave a non-commital hum. “Me too.”
— x —
Felix drove them home, too, and Sylvain felt the opposite of how he had at the beginning of the night– his head was unpleasantly clear, he was dimly aware of everything, and.. he was overwhelmed.
He trudged into the apartment, limbs heavy, and only offered a glance towards the kitchen. He was acheingly hungry, ravenous, but he could still taste blood on his tongue and the idea of lifting a finger to even put the food in his mouth was devastating.
Sylvain dragged himself to his room, but as he leaned on the doorframe, he stopped. Felix stopped too, looking over to make sure he was okay.
“..Can I.. sleep in your room?”
Felix’s face softened instantly, and his answer was quiet. “Yeah. Of course. Come on.”
They shed their outerwear and climbed into bed, and sleep washed over Sylvain before his head hit the pillow.
— x —
The smell of Felix’s room had been a comfort for Sylvain since they were kids. It smelled like safety, and warmth, and understanding, and– I love you. He could feel himself waking up, but didn’t want to face the world again so quickly. His arms were wrapped around a warm waist, his head tucked neatly into Felix’s neck, and he squeezed his hug a little tighter as he fought his body’s urge to cry at just how hard he’d crashed.
Felix shifted a little, already awake, and Sylvain opened his eyes to the feeling of a hand gently patting his hair. “How’re you doing?” Felix asked, no tip-toeing in his voice, just the usual Felix.
Sylvain’s mouth was dry and he croaked out a barely-audible, “starving.”
“Yeah, your stomach said as much all night. I ordered some food, it’s about..” he checked his phone, “ten minutes out.”
“Get a lot?”
“Enough to feed a ten-foot wolf.”
“No way I was ten feet. Maybe nine.”
Felix snorted. “Next time we’ll measure. You thirsty?”
Sylvain squeezed his eyes shut. “God yes.”
Felix tossed his phone to the other end of the bed, and rolled over the top of Sylvain. As he passed over him, Sylvain absent-mindedly stole a kiss on Felix’s neck– he didn’t realize what had happened until he noticed Felix’s wide eyes.
But Sylvain didn’t say anything, and after a frozen moment, Felix crawled the rest of the way off the bed, snapping up his phone and leaving the room without a word.
If Sylvain had more energy, he’d probably be freaking out. As it was, he just stared at the ceiling, and thought about how little he wanted to leave the safety of Felix’s room.
Felix brought back a tall glass of water just as there was a knock at the door, and while he disappeared to attend to that, Sylvain took several gulps to try to wash away the old taste of.. blood. Shit. He was starting to understand shitty werewolf movies where the wolf in question woke up in the woods confused and upset.
Several minutes passed before Felix returned, and he scowled at the empty glass. “You’re gonna be sick if you drink that fast on an empty stomach, you didn’t eat anything yesterday. It’s like you’re not even trying to take care of yourself.” His exasperation was soft, though, and Sylvain felt his first smile in what could've been twenty years.
“Sorry. It was really good water.”
Felix rolled his eyes, and said, “hold still.” Sylvain furrowed his brow in confusion, but did as he was asked while Felix messed with some of the blankets around him. Before he could fully parse the actions, Felix had neatly wrapped the bed’s comforter around Sylvain, and scooped man and blanket up together to be carried.
On instinct Sylvain’s arms wrapped around Felix’s neck with a little laugh as he was carried out to the living room, where Felix had set up a veritable feast on the coffee table. He crouched down to put Sylvain on the floor next to the table and moved to the other side to sit down.
Sylvain readjusted, pulling the comforter closer around himself– he wasn’t cold, but he still ached from the night before, and the softness of the blanket and the smell of Felix’s room alike helped dull the pain that threatened to return now that he was out of bed. “Smells good. Thanks for dinner.”
“This week I want that spicy stir fry you showed me. Your cooking’s better than takeout.”
“Whoa, complimenting my cooking? Are you buttering me up for something?” His stomach provided him a few stabs of pain to remind him how hungry he was, and he wriggled out of the blanket just enough to start eating.
They left each other in silence a while as Sylvain ate more and faster than he had in years – silence except, of course, for Felix admonishing him again that he was going to get sick. Felix really had gotten enough to feed a family of five, and by himself Sylvain had devoured almost half of it before he slowed to a more normal pace. Still hungry, but the edge of desperation was gone.
Sensing a little more normalcy, Felix asked again, “How’re you doing?”
Sylvain shook his head. “I wanna know how you’re feeling first. I swear I’ll be honest, but it’s important.”
Felix scrunched his face up in protest, but didn’t actually refuse anything. “I’m fine. I wasn’t ever scared of you. I couldn’t be, it was obvious the whole time that it was still you in there.” His peaceful annoyance turned to a glower, though, when he added, “I’m still pissed at Dorothea for swinging a knife at you.”
Sylvain sighed. “You know, I didn’t even know it was her. Just that someone was trying to hurt– I mean, you, I thought, but obviously I figured I was in danger too.”
“She shouldn’t have fucking brought it. I told her to get rid of it as soon as you were.. inside.”
“It’s okay. I mean.. it’s not okay, I fucked up her arm pretty bad, but.. I’m okay. You and me, we’re okay.”
Felix’s eyes landed on Sylvain’s wrists, and he knew that in itself was an argument, but one that didn’t need to be answered directly. “If we have to go back to hunting on our own, it’s not the end of the world. I don’t want to work with people who can’t grasp the idea of not provoking cornered animals, anyway.”
“Hey, go a little easy on ‘em. It’s my responsibility to make myself safe to be around, not theirs.”
“You were safe, I spent all night with you, if they’d just–” he cut himself off with a huff. He knew Sylvain knew. He knew the argument wouldn’t matter to everyone else. He knew it wasn’t actually worth starting a new life over. Being misunderstood was their specialty; Sylvain was just adding new layers.
— x —
After dinner was finished, Felix made Sylvain stay curled up in his blanket cocoon while he cleaned up, and returned with a jar of ointment.
“Sit up. Give me your wrists.”
“What’s next, ‘shake’?” he joked, but obediently presented them for Felix to start rubbing medicine on. It stung a lot, but the sensation was outweighed by the warmth of Felix’s hands on his.
Felix wouldn’t look at him, though, and Sylvain didn’t push it, just waited. Eventually, when he was almost done with the second wrist, Felix said, “I’m sorry. Binding you was stupid, I shouldn’t have agreed to it.”
Sylvain shrugged. “Nah, we all thought it’d work. It’s what they do in the movies, right? I don’t think anyone expected me to be the four-legged kind, so we’ll call it a learning experience.”
“..Sure. Your ankles are just as bad, right?”
With a sigh, he shifted to unearth his legs and have those tended to as well. It wasn’t the kind of care they usually did, they were more used to haphazardly sewing shut a cut before they could get to the hospital or providing the other a shoulder to lean on while they nursed a hurt leg, and Felix’s application was just as sloppy. It did the trick, though, and the tingling pain running up his nerves put a thought in Sylvain’s head that he couldn’t get out.
“Felix, can I ask you something?”
“I– no. In a minute. Where else is hurt?”
Hmm. Now what did that mean? “...Shoulder. Turns out knocking an iron door off its hinges isn’t comfy.”
“Is that all?”
“Think so. Promise I’ll bring it up if I find anything else.”
“You promise.”
“I do.”
A few beats of silence, and Felix nodded, gaze still focused on applying the medicine. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” he asked.
Oh fuck off. Was he really–? “Yeah, of course.”
“Nothing will change that. I mean absolutely nothing, no matter what, will ever change that.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Okay. Good.”
“...So can I–?” Sylvain tried again.
“No. Shut up. Give me a second.”
He was absolutely doing it. What the fuck.
The requisite second passed, and Felix continued, “I think we should be best friends. And also maybe.. maybe a different thing, too.”
“Felix you are killing me. You can’t interrupt me to ask the same damn question.”
His eyes snapped up to look at Sylvain properly now. “What? I haven’t even asked yet.”
Sylvain grinned. “I think we should date.”
Felix scowled, and grumbled. “...I brought it up first.”
That got a laugh from him. “And my way was going to be way more romantic before you started telling me to shut up!”
“My hands are covered in this gross aloe vera shit and you just ate your weight in pancakes. If this is your move it sucks.”
Sylvain shifted to Felix’s protest, and leaned in to kiss him. Felix froze, uncertain not about the kiss but about the how, but Sylvain’s experience was finally good for something. Gently, he waited for Felix to get comfortable, and after just a moment of being soft and pliant, Felix lifted his hands to pull him in closer, kiss him deeper. The medicine still on Felix’s hands was cold and getting in Sylvain’s hair. It was perfect.
— x —
Felix was silent for a while, and Sylvain let him be. Agreeing to a relationship was nothing to rush through, accepting a shift in how they might interact with each other was no small step– and while it was one Sylvain was used to, Felix had dated exactly twice: an amicable breakup after a boring year-long relationship in high school, and a few weeks with another hunter who’d said Felix was ‘too mean’ after it didn’t go anywhere. Ideally, Sylvain wanted to make this transition an easy one, and also make sure Felix knew he could go back on it whenever he wanted.
When Felix finally spoke again, it was unfortunately to say, “We have to get ready for work soon.”
Sylvain was already laid out flat on his back on the floor, but he somehow managed to deflate even further. “I dooon’t wanna.”
Felix sighed. “I know. We have to at least go in, though. I’ll make sure you don’t have to work.” Sylvain rolled onto his side to look at him. “You can just hang out in my cubicle. I’ll scare off anyone who comes around.”
Sylvain knew that no one would argue if he stayed home. In fact, most of them would probably prefer it after the disaster of the night before. No one wanted to see him right now. Felix was being protective again, but the enemy this time wasn’t everyone else. He was protecting Sylvain from his own mood spiraling, and from being alone when it happened. Sylvain could probably protest, put up enough of a fight to get Felix to let him stay home anyway, but… not worth it.
“Okay, but I’m not doing any work. I’m playing on my phone all day out of pure spite.”
Felix gave a huff of laughter and agreed. “You got it. Can you drive? I hated doing it last night.”
— x —
As promised, as soon as they got to work Felix shoved his desk at an angle to give Sylvain the perfect little corner to curl up in, who gratefully set up with earphones and a movie on his phone. That alone was an improvement from what Felix knew he’d be doing if he was at home alone, which was less likely to involve passing the time and more soaking in his own thoughts until they inevitably turned ugly. It was always just a matter of time with Sylvain– even with such a good thing happening just before work, the bad of the night before was waiting in the wings. He wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t tell Felix he was upset, would just let it eat at him until it was too late and he was strung so tight he was ready to snap.
Here though, under the harsh fluorescent lighting, Felix in arm’s reach, Sylvain wouldn’t have the option of spiraling. He could keep digging, and Felix would keep filling in the hole.
More people than usual tried to stop by Felix’s workspace that evening, but without so much as a glance at who was encroaching on their space, Felix greeted every single one with a monotone, “Fuck off.” There was no real edge to the assertion, but everyone got the idea anyway and, with different levels of annoyance, fucked off.
Even Annette, bless her, didn’t protest when Felix absently met her the same way– she just glanced over at Sylvain with a worried furrow of her brow, and nodded her agreement. Felix cringed as she left, promising himself he’d apologize to her later. It turned out to be unnecessary though, as she reappeared just half an hour later with two lunches in a cute basket that she placed on his desk.
Her voice was hushed when she spoke, clearly trying to not disturb Sylvain, but her sunny disposition couldn’t be quieted. “Heyyy, I thought you guys might be hungry. I’ve, um, I mean there’s not much in the way of real information out there about – you know – but I figure getting that big has to take it out of you!”
Some tension Felix hadn’t known he was holding drained. “...Thanks.” It was a relief that, no matter how everyone else was handling Sylvain, he could still count on Annette’s kindness. “Hey,” he raised his voice a little to get Sylvain’s attention, who took out an earbud and immediately had to catch the bundle of food thrown at him. “Say thank you.”
Sylvain gave a tired smile, and waved. “Thank you, Annette. I owe you one.”
“Ooh, it’s nothing. I’m just glad you’re taking it easy! You’re too hard on yourself, you know?”
Sylvain chuckled softly. “I don’t wanna hear that from you, little miss ‘I would work 26 hours a day if I could just find the right magic spell.’”
After a bit more back and forth, Sylvain put his earphones back in and started on his lunch, and Annette got low next to Felix, perching on her heels and whispering, “Did something happen? I’m not complaining, but it feels, um… less gloomy than I was expecting?”
Felix glanced over at Sylvain, then shook his head. “...I’ll, uh. I’ll text you.”
“Okay!” she agreed cheerily, and bounced up to retrieve her now-empty basket and leave them to eat. “If you need anything else, you guys’ll let me know, right? We’re a team, after all!”
A pit of guilt gnawed at Felix as he recalled just how quickly he was ready to give up on this life and run away with Sylvain again. He just nodded, and picked up his phone as soon as Annette left his sight so he wouldn’t forget to text her as promised.
— x —
[ FF ] something did happen
[ AD ] LOL That isn’t helpful Felix! Was it a good something or a bad something?
[ FF ] uh
[ FF ] good
[ FF ] i think
[ AD ] Well??
He paused to take a steadying breath. Putting it into writing almost felt too permanent, too real, like he was testing fate to take it away.
[ FF ] i guess we’re dating now
[ AD ] FELIX!!!!!!!
[ FF ] stop it it’s not that big a deal
[ AD ] Felix that’s SO great I can’t believe you’re trying to be a cool guy about this!!!!
[ FF ] i am NOT
[ AD ] Who asked?? How did it go?? You have to tell me everything IMMEDIATELY
[ FF ] stop being weird
[ FF ] we both kind of asked
[ FF ] i was going to and then he started so i told him to shut up
[ AD ] LOL
[ AD ] At least you knew he’d say yes!
[ FF ] …yeah
[ AD ] Have you talked about it any?
[ FF ] not really
[ FF ] just kissed and came to work
[ AD ] YOU KISSED!!!!!
[ FF ] STOP
By the time lunch was finished and Felix had calmed Annette to a dull roar of excitement over his relationship developments, he glanced over at Sylvain and found him dozing lightly. The loudest of the hunters were gone for the night again, so Felix gently knelt down next to Sylvain and removed his earbuds, turning off the music playing on his phone and plugging it in to charge. Finally Felix took off his own jacket and tossed it over Sylvain, who mumbled something in his sleep and pulled it closer around him.
Felix could feel the heat start to rise in his cheeks, but luckily there was no one around to witness it.
— x —
By the end of the night, Felix had given up on work altogether, too bored after nearly a month of the same. Byleth passed his desk on her way back in and he waved her down.
“Hey. Can we do our physical soon? I’m sick of desk duty.”
She stopped, and glanced at the pile of jacket curled up in the corner, face unreadable as always. “Are you both ready? You work better as a team.”
“Don’t worry about Sylvain. He can take care of himself.”
She paused, then nodded. “Monday night. I’m taking you both on.”
Felix gave a huff of annoyance. “I can take you by myself. We aren’t codependent.”
The big-eyed look of doubt on her face at that would have been funny if it were aimed at someone else. She clarified though, “Not for you. Just a precaution.”
Right. Because Sylvain was dangerous now. From friendly office flirt to monster overnight. “A precaution. Fine,” he said through grit teeth. “Monday.”
He gave himself a moment to calm his annoyance after she left, and nudged the pile of Sylvain gently with his foot. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Bit late to become a daywalker.” He reached down to take back his jacket, and froze when he pulled it up to see the stretching form of a deep red wolf instead of a man. “...Sylvain?” He was identical to when he’d transformed, but considerably smaller– the actual size a wolf was supposed to be, if Felix had to guess.
Sylvain yawned and stood to shake out the sleep, but jolted when he realized he was on all fours once more. He spun in a circle, and then again, before sitting and staring up at Felix with a low whine.
“...Okay. Where the fuck are your clothes this time?”
Another spin, looking around– Sylvain couldn’t shrug, but the idea was obvious.
“This is fine. It’s fine. Let’s just get home, and we’ll figure it out then.”
A nod. Felix gathered up their stuff from the day and headed for the exit as quickly as he could without making a scene, ducking his head even further when he heard the restrained squeal of joy from Annette at the sight of a dog in the office. Not right now.
At the car, he groaned, but opened the back door for Sylvain to clamber in. “You were supposed to drive tonight,” he bitched idly, but when Sylvain whined an apology he sighed. “I know. Not your fault.” Felix turned on the radio on the way home, and tried to avoid constantly checking the rear-view mirror to make sure Sylvain was okay. He’d been fine as a big dog, he’d be fine as a normal dog. He was fine.
The morning bustle of people leaving their apartment building was annoying on the best of days, but when trying to smuggle a literal wolf in, they had to rely more on stealth than Felix’s ‘I just came off night shift’ face– it took twenty minutes just to get to their front door.
Felix locked the door behind them, took a deep breath, and turned back to Sylvain– and after all that, there he was, a fully human – and fully clothed – man sat on the floor.
“...Hey, Felix? I think I’ve noticed some changes.”
In spite of himself, Felix gave a tired laugh, sliding down to sit against the door. “Maybe we should just pay the pet deposit.”
PART THREE.
Felix had witnessed a half dozen of Sylvain’s relationships– a pittance of the full number he’d heard about, but that was because Sylvain tried to avoid Felix meeting anyone he didn’t think was ‘serious enough.’ But Felix had also witnessed every single breakup, whether Sylvain wanted him to or not, and the differences between the ones he met and didn’t meet were only in how sheepish Sylvain was after.
The conclusion was one that went against every bad rumor about Sylvain that Felix had ever heard– he cared as much about a partner that lasted him a month as he did about one that lasted a year. Felix knew that Sylvain’s affection was bottomless and needy, carefully calculated but only to protect (or, once it went bad, occasionally harm) the other person.
After the fiasco that was the full moon and its immediate fallout, combined with the uncertainty that came with a new relationship, Felix expected Sylvain would be… a lot. Instead, though, he tried to keep it subtle and calm and steady, the same as he did everything else aimed at Felix. He didn’t ask for dates, he blatantly held himself back from buying gifts at every turn, and he stopped himself, time and again, from going for a kiss or a hand-hold or embrace every single time they were alone.
Honestly, it was getting kind of annoying.
So Felix started it by holding Sylvain’s hand while they were on the elevator at work– just grabbing it unprompted, staring straight ahead, refusing to look at Sylvain and pushing down the heat in his face by pure strength of will alone. He could feel Sylvain’s incredulous stare, but the happy little sigh afterwards made walking through a public area attached at the hand worthwhile.
He wanted to tell Sylvain not to expect him to start anything else where others can see, wanted to snip at him about it, but the fact that Sylvain hadn’t even asked for it made that a hard angle to push. Sylvain was a step ahead of him, though, when they got to their desks he kissed Felix’s forehead and leaned back with a wink. “Now I’ll have to one-up you.”
“Like hell you will!”
Byleth chose that moment to round the corner, and tilted her head. “Are you two fighting? I’ll take advantage of any openings you leave.”
Sylvain looked confused, but before he could ask Felix explained, “We’re doing our physical today. Two on one.”
“Thanks for letting me know?” he laughed, and Felix huffed.
“I forgot. You were a dog.”
“Why was he a dog?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Felix snapped. “Can we just get this done?”
— x —
Byleth was clearly worried that they were going to struggle to work together on short notice, but she’d always understood Felix better than she did Sylvain, and without having them both figured out there was no way to guess at just how smoothly they settled into battle together.
Sylvain started the fight by plopping down on his ass on the sidelines, offering a wave at Byleth’s frown. “Don’t worry about it. You can pass or fail me at the end.”
Felix bit back a smirk– part of it was tactical, but Sylvain was also staying back to let Felix have an unfettered spar against a good opponent for a while. He’d have to put on a good show as thanks.
Felix lifted his training sword and Byleth shrugged, perusing the weapons rack a moment before choosing a sword of her own. She was proficient in nearly everything, including some weapons Felix wasn’t sure how she’d gotten ahold of in this day and age, but swordplay was her strongest point, and the choice was a compliment Felix would gladly take.
She took a ready stance and let Felix make the first move. He didn’t keep her waiting. Their swords crossed in a flash of steel as Felix took a full offensive, aiming first for every potential weak point in her defenses and then for the opposite, aiming where she’d expect him to avoid. The less optimally he fought, the more she had to react instead of going through the motions.
Byleth was too good to beat on his own when he was rusty, and Felix had no illusions about that. Most of the time he was just happy to have found another person who knew how to handle a sword that wasn’t bought at a mall, and being able to beat her was a rare secondary prize. Tonight, though, the point wasn’t to win in a spar. It was to get her ready for Sylvain.
Felix ramped up the intensity, hitting faster and harder with each connected strike. He took the first blow, a thrust that would have nicked his side had the blade been sharp. At the sidelines, Sylvain was doing casual stretches, had bounced up to his feet while Byleth was focused. She didn’t let up after one hit though, they would fight to the theoretical death, or until Byleth was satisfied. Felix could afford to take more hits to give him openings on Byleth, to push her harder, and as the seconds passed her calm defense started to falter.
Felix didn’t use the opening to strike, though– he used it to shift their positions, to force her to choose between exposing her stomach to an easy kill, and turning her back to Sylvain.
Sylvain struck in an instant, grabbed Byleth from behind and held his (very real) knife to her throat. She was surprised, but only took a second to recover. She elbowed Sylvain in the gut, though he didn’t flinch, and twisted his wrist with a quick snap that forced him to drop the knife.
Sylvain cursed quietly and shook out his wrist, but now she had them both to contend with. Byleth dodged another hit from Felix, and kicked at Sylvain to push him back, then took aim at Felix as the more dangerous opponent. But as her focus shifted, he tossed his sword at Sylvain instead, and decked her. The hit was solid enough that she’d likely be nursing a black eye to match the bruises she’d given Felix, but she didn’t falter. Her final blow was a heavy two-handed swing directly at Sylvain, who held up Felix’s sword to protect himself. Sylvain pushed back, and before he could overpower her, Byleth twisted the swords so they both went skittering across the floor.
With all of them disarmed, there was a moment of silence before she nodded. The fight was over.
She was staring Sylvain down. “You’re stronger now.”
He smiled, that angry little smile he seemed to save just for her. “Yeah, that was great teamwork, thanks! Good job everyone.” And even that faked cheer was dropped just that fast. “Are we cleared or what?”
“...Yes. Do you have a plan for next month?”
“Yep. None of your business, though.”
She frowned, and looked over to Felix. He sighed, but nodded. It was fine.
Everyone who said Felix was the ruder of the two had never seen Sylvain with a grudge.
Once Byleth had left the sparring room, it was like night and day how Sylvain lit up. “That was awesome, Felix, you could’ve taken her on alone no problem!”
In spite of himself, Felix fought back a smile at the compliment. “What about you? Just how much stronger are we talking?”
“Y’know? Not sure! She’s given me a lot of trouble one-on-one before, and I know she’d still outmatch me no problem, but in a strength contest I think I might finally have Byleth beat.” Felix looked him over, curious, but before he could voice it Sylvain smiled and added, “Wanna taste?”
Felix was darting for one of the discarded swords before the words were out of his mouth.
— x —
Getting a better feel for what he could do was Sylvain’s top priority as they started going on jobs again. Field work was more dangerous, and he couldn’t leave Felix alone with a dog when they were facing down a den of vampires– or at least, that was his thinking. As it turned out, being able to avoid the change wasn’t so useful as being able to use it at will.
Anyone who got a good look at Sylvain when he was quadrupedal would never actually mistake him for a dog, the wolf features were pronounced and he looked every bit a dangerous wild animal. So the name of the game became making sure no one did get a good look at him, that he stayed in the shadows and kept his head down, acted skittish if he ran into any people, and suddenly, he was ten times better at stealth. The reclusive nature of werewolves worked in his favor, as most people, vampiric or otherwise, had no idea this was even an option.
The usefulness of his transformation, though, did not make the act of going to a pet store to buy himself a leash any less humiliating.
— x —
“Alright, Felix!” Sylvain clapped his hands during dinner-breakfast one evening, as if he had only just then made a decision– obviously, he’d made it several days earlier, but showmanship counted. “It’s time I made good on my reputation.”
Felix stared at him blankly for a beat, somewhere between confusion and concern, before saying flatly, “No.”
“Oh, come on.”
“I don’t know what that means but it’s terrifying. Absolutely not.”
Sylvain laughed. “I wanna take you on a date! This is what I’m good at!”
Felix cringed. “Your long line of failed paramours says otherwise. Are you trying to get me to dump you?”
“Okay, mean. Funny, but mean. But you can’t escape affection forever, we’re going out, tomorrow. Find and wear the fanciest clothes you have, and I’ll take care of everything else.”
“Fancy?”
“Trust me. Fancy.”
— x —
Felix delivered, coming out of his room the next night wearing the fanciest item he owned: A tuxedo from their high school prom. It was stiff and uncomfortable and a little tight, and he’d mostly chosen it to be purposefully difficult– but when Sylvain came out in a sparkling pink button-up and matching cowboy boots, he realized this was precisely the intended vibe.
“Yes!!” he nearly shouted with excitement when he saw Felix’s outfit. “Perfect! I knew you’d get it!” His enthusiasm was infectious, and soon Felix was laughing along.
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
“Remember when we were kids and I was always entering those rodeos?”
“I remember that you bring up being Junior Bronco Champion every time a bar has a bull.”
“Uh, two time national champion, thank you. My actual fancy clothes would be way too hot, you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me, so to preserve your dignity I’ve decided to emulate my most sparkly era.”
Felix rolled his eyes hard, “My dignity thanks you,” and Sylvain was already grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the front door.
“Limo’s waiting outside!”
As they clambered into a limo that was way too big for two people, the theme of the night quickly became obvious. Sylvain poured them champagne on the drive and held his glass up for a toast. Felix braced himself for something obnoxiously over-the-top, but the smile Sylvain shifted into was.. soft.
“To my best friend.” Oh no. “To the man who’s been with me through thick and thin. Who’s put up with the worst of me, and let me see me at my best. Who’s saved my life more times than he can possibly know.” He lowered the glass, and leaned back to look at Felix directly. “To the best person to ever walk this shitty, ungrateful planet. He has no idea how hard I’m about to kiss him, or that he actually makes that dollar store tux unspeakably sexy.”
“Shut up. Shut up shut up. Holy shit, shut up.” Felix was laughing, though, thankful as always that Sylvain could joke at the end, give him a buffer against the kind, earnest words before it. He threw his head back and drained his champagne flute in one go– and as soon as he put it down, Sylvain made good on the promise to kiss him.
By the time they got to wherever the limo was taking them, Felix was out of breath and Sylvain’s hair was a mess. It felt like high school again, passionate and exciting and confusing and the last thing he wanted to do was get out of the car and enter a public space. How many times had he let his eyes linger on Sylvain’s bared skin, how often had he thought about Sylvain’s lips on his neck (it felt even better than he’d thought, fuck), how was he supposed to stop now when he’d never allowed himself more than a surface appreciation, pulling away like he’d been burned as soon as he really considered how much he wanted this?
It should have been harder. It should have been so intense it hurt. But Sylvain knew him too well, gave everything a veneer of a joke not for his own benefit but for Felix’s. That distance was a comfort. Permission to not drown himself.
He still had to take a few moments after the car had stopped to calm himself down.
A good thing he did– when Sylvain opened the door for him, he stepped out to see a restaurant where everyone waiting to get in was wearing something worth their monthly rent. Sylvain paid them no mind, though, just grabbed Felix’s hand and lead him towards the front, whispering to the host, who nodded and took them back immediately.
It wasn’t like money was a problem for them. Vampire hunting did not pay well, but while Felix had abandoned his inheritance, Sylvain was self-made before he’d ever cut off his father to follow Felix on his life’s quest. But they’d made a point of living low-profile, and had both always hated the opulence of their fathers, and this kind of display was… a lot.
It was a joke. Like the motivational poster in Sylvain’s cubicle, this was all an elaborate mockery, while still getting to enjoy the trappings of being rich.
More than just an expensive reservation, they were lead to a private room in the back of the restaurant, complete with low lighting and candles all around. There was room enough for a whole party, but after Felix sat down, Sylvain scooched right up next to him, chin in his hand, looking pleased with himself. “What do you think?”
“I think every person in this place hates us right now.”
Sylvain laughed. “Yeah, probably. The feeling’s mutual though, right?”
Felix nodded. “..I like it. Thanks.”
“Ohh, we’re just getting started. Let’s order.” He waved down the server, who showed up ready with more alcohol, and they ordered everything on the menu that looked good– and some that looked terrible, just to see what they were.
With a private room they were free to get rowdy, and they stretched out, Felix’s legs across Sylvain’s lap in the booth, Sylvain trying to hand-feed him until he got to something gross and Felix had to take over, embarrassing behavior that Felix wouldn’t have allowed in a damn Applebee’s. Sylvain had gotten it spot-on, though– they didn’t respect rich people enough to give a shit.
After dessert was served (a surprisingly subtle tiramisu that Felix actually enjoyed quite a bit), Sylvain sighed and stretched. “Okay. One more thing.”
Felix balked. “How is there more?”
“Listen, I’m trying to get railed when we get home, this is pure seduction.”
Felix snorted with laughter, and almost missed when the server re-entered, handing off two items to Sylvain. Felix froze when he saw one was a jewelry box, but Sylvain immediately reassured him, “Chill, not a ring,” and set the other one down to open the box for Felix. “I know you’re not big on jewelry, but I like spoiling people, so… I thought some earrings might suit you.” The pair inside were simple studs in silver, with a deep gray-blue gem inside. “They’re, uh.. alexandrite. I think the color compliments you.”
Felix gingerly took the box, not sure what to say. He could recognize good jewelry when he saw it, and the earrings were gorgeous. Probably, he thought, a bit too pretty for him– but Sylvain was an expert. Choosing these was as much a compliment to Felix as Byleth choosing a sword. “..thanks. I’ll wear them.”
When Felix closed the box, he looked up to see Sylvain had the second gift ready. This one was far simpler, no pomp and circumstance, no faux richness. Just a small, elegant bouquet comprised entirely of snowdrops. Sylvain swallowed, and said, “I have to tell you I’m about to get really cheesy.”
Oh boy. “I appreciate the warning.”
“So.. did you know that snowdrops are the first flowers to bloom once winter’s over? They’re supposed to represent hope. That the winter’s gone, and everything’s gonna be warmer from here on out. It’s not like we’ve ever had any problem weathering the cold, but… spring can be nice, too.”
He could never just say what he meant. But.. Felix got the idea. He took the flowers, staring them down like they owed him something. “...That was pretty cheesy.”
Sylvain smiled. “You ready to go home?”
“Can we take the wine?”
They finished the bottle on the ride home, and barely made it in their front door before they’d started losing clothes.
— x —
The snowdrops found their way to a vase on the coffee table, and Felix’s phone had a new permanent page up on how to keep cut flowers alive as long as possible.
— x —
They had a plan for the next full moon, a simple but foolproof one that they’d discussed at least a dozen times since the first one. It also had become obvious that Sylvain’s transformation into a werewolf had not fully completed until he’d changed that first moon, and they were constantly learning new things about him. His nose, for example, had become more sensitive, and he’d had to throw away half his own cologne for being too offensive to wear comfortably. When Felix had scratched behind his ear as a joke, Sylvain turned bright red, and Felix hadn’t been able to fully quell his laughing fit for hours after. His teeth were even sharper, and that had been a hell of a hickey for Felix to hide.
But while their sights were set on the full moon, they hadn’t considered that there may be another problem: the new moon.
Felix came out of his room that evening to find Sylvain laid out flat on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling with a glazed-over look in his eyes. “...Uh. You good?”
He let out an aimless sound before answering, “I think I’m dying. Figuratively.”
Felix raised an eyebrow, and nudged Sylvain’s side with his foot to see if that was the problem area. “What’s wrong?”
“Exhausted. Took me half an hour to get out here. Can’t even stand up for more than a few seconds.”
“Are you sick? Or is this..?” Felix took out his phone to check the calendar– only to see a series of texts from Annette.
[ AD ] DON’T COME TO WORK!!
[ AD ] I was reading up about werewolves and I think the new moon might make Sylvain sleepy :(
[ AD ] He should relax!! I already told Byleth you called out sick :D
He rolled his eyes, but crouched down to show Sylvain the screen. “Annette says you’re sleepy.”
Sylvain chuckled and slowly tried to sit up, then gave up almost immediately. “That’s putting it mildly. Can you tell her I want to have her babies?”
[ FF ] he says thanks
[ FF ] is there a cure
[ AD ] Ummm
[ AD ] Honestly it was just a guess! Is he okay??
[ FF ] he’s still annoying
[ AD ] You have to be nicer to your boyfriend, Felix!!
[ FF ] no i dont
He put his phone away and sighed. “Take out again?”
The answer ended up being no, Sylvain had prepped some leftovers for an easy meal today, and after a slow, strenuous experience just eating, he collapsed back to the floor and said he ‘couldn’t do anything else, at all, ever.’
“Taking care of you is a pain,” Felix said half-heartedly, but in no time he’d brought the contents of his bed into the living room again, rolling Sylvain into it so he could be cozier in his exhaustion. “We’re watching my shows tonight.”
Neither of them were particularly good at lazy days. They kept themselves active to chase off any chance of negativity catching up to them, and even as Felix settled comfortably into using Sylvain’s stomach as a pillow, he could feel it coming. Just a few episodes in, and he’d stopped watching entirely, mind wandering where it wasn’t wanted.
“Sylvain. …How are you doing, long-term?”
Sylvain didn’t answer for a while, and Felix thought he might have fallen asleep, but finally he said, “I’m getting more comfortable now. It’ll get easier with time, while I figure out what to expect. This is definitely one of the less problematic side effects, just a free day off every month.”
“..I guess.” Sylvain had to know he was thinking about worst-case scenarios already. They both were.
“I kind of.. don’t hate not being human, you know? It’s like, what did being human ever get me?” It sounded flippant, but there was an underlying edge there. “Being dangerous… feels good. Feels right. I kind of wish I’d always been this dangerous.”
Ah. “When you put it that way.. me too.” How many times had Sylvain pushed himself down to not be too much, hidden himself to avoid threatening people with his intelligence, his natural talent, his charisma? And how many times would being able to rip out someone’s throat have saved him? “I’m still sorry. For getting you into this life.”
Sylvain shifted and curled around Felix, reaching down to kiss his forehead. “Felix, I’ve never been happier.”
— x —
Two weeks seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. As the next full moon approached, Sylvain caught glimpses of worry from everyone, even worse than before now that they knew he was dangerous instead of just suspecting. He saw concerned texts pop up on Felix’s phone, overheard whispered conversations, watched Dorothea try to corner Felix for days. It sucked, that Felix was taking the brunt of all this– like they were blaming him for defending Sylvain.
He never complained, though, at least not about the fact that he was being subjected to an excess of human contact. Instead, every time Sylvain checked in on him he was just bitching about how they were treating Sylvain.
They couldn’t tell anyone the details of their plan because no one would believe them.
The night of the full moon, Sylvain awoke once more feeling like he had a fever. But rather than stumble through a car ride, making Felix lead him everywhere, he just came out to the living room and flopped onto the floor. There were about twenty pillows and blankets in a ring around the room, like the world’s flattest fort, and most of the furniture had been shoved into the kitchen, with the couch against a far wall. No chains. No cages. No silver.
He mumbled nonsense at Felix as he laid in the middle of the soft pile, waiting for that tingling, bad-good feeling to come over him again. No one here was afraid of him. No one here was going to hurt him. Everything was going to be okay.
— x —
[ AD ] SOS
[ AD ] SOS
[ AD ] SOS
— x —
“Sylvain! We have–”
Ah. There was the fear.
Sylvain had been curled up, taking up most of the living room now in his transformed state, just trying to keep down the roiling waves of energy that made him want to hunt prey that didn’t exist. He peeled an eye open, taking in Felix, now holding his phone and full to the brim with a stress he didn’t usually feel around Sylvain.
“–Annette and–” He was looking around, nearly frantic. “Can – smell vampires?”
Sylvain nodded, and started to stand up, sizing up the exits. He wasn’t trapped this time, but nor was he particularly free to go wherever he wanted. Felix was on the phone now, but he saw the problem too, frowning. He paused, and then stooped down for a moment before standing up again. Sylvain got the idea.
Felix left the apartment first, checking the hall for people before waving Sylvain through. Sylvain got down low, scooting along the floor and barely fitting through the front door, only to remember the hallway following it. He sighed heavily, and kept crawling, squeezing through another doorway while Felix helped slide him along from behind.
— x —
“Great idea,” Felix grumbled to himself, every nerve frayed as he watched a giant wolf try to fit through a fucking apartment complex. “Just do it at home! It’ll be easy! Boring, even!”
Behind him, he heard a quiet, “Whoa…” and his blood ran cold.
Slowly, Felix turned to face the source of the sound– a neighbor kid, couldn’t be older than ten, was staring wide-eyed at Sylvain.
Felix stared at him.
He stared at Sylvain.
Hesitantly, Felix made a shooing motion. “G.. Get out of here.”
“How’d your dog get so big?”
“...What, you see a guy with a sword and the dog is your problem? Never talk to a guy with a sword! They’re weird!”
The last of Sylvain squeezed through the door, his wagging tail knocked a generic framed picture off the wall, and Felix darted after him the second the kid’s attention was grabbed.
Once they were out in the night air, Sylvain did a big full-body shake, and Felix complained, “This plan sucked. Anyway, we’ve gotta find a way to get across town quickly. I guess I could drive, but I don’t know about…” he trailed off as Sylvain got low to the ground again, gesturing with his head in a way that implied… “You’re dying to make a joke about riding right now, aren’t you?”
He sighed though– it made sense. Felix gripped the fur on Sylvain’s back and hauled himself up, swinging his leg over like mounting a very large, furry horse. Felix was fucking terrible at riding horses. But as soon as he was on top of Sylvain, it was like all the energy of the night was released at once, and Sylvain bolted.
— x —
Where were they going? Vampires. Sylvain knew vampires, knew the scent of blood slightly off, knew the scent of Annette, a sugar-soaked perfume, and he knew that Felix would figure out how to tell him if he was wrong. He felt a tugging at his fur, and then a light smack on one ear– message received, he turned down a side road.
He knew how to hunt. As a human, too, he’d known how to hunt, how to sink his knife between ribs, how to make sure they didn’t know he was coming. This was a hunt, and though he didn’t yet know why, he wasn’t going to go home without a kill. It wasn’t long before he’d picked up the scent of vampires in earnest, multiple mixed together, and fear alongside it. He turned on a dime, nearly dropped Felix in the process, and his world narrowed to just him and the prey.
Had he been in his right mind, Sylvain maybe wouldn’t have barrelled full-bodied into a wall to knock it down. But doors had been pissing him off tonight, and he felt the light weight of Felix roll off his back just before the impact. It got the job done, too, and instantly the whole warehouse was opened up to them.
The place was crawling with vampires, including some clinging to the ceiling to get away from the hunters. Sylvain locked onto the nearest enemy and snapped at it, dropping a crumpled heap to the floor and just adding to the stench of blood all around.
It was chaos. More bodies than Sylvain could distinguish, human and vampire alike, bullets flying, blades flashing– but still no silver. Free reign, then.
Felix had darted away as soon as the dust cleared from the fallen wall, looking for someone, and Sylvain set to work on his own. He had immediately become the biggest threat in the room, and several of the vampires fighting turned their full attention to him. They folded under his weight, crunched in his jaws, left wounds he would probably feel in the morning but for now, he might as well be immortal.
There was the fear.
When his immediate attackers were thrown off, Sylvain sought a human, any human, and found one cornered by three vampires. She – Dorothea, this was Dorothea – had a gun but it clicked uselessly in her hand, and Sylvain couldn’t quite connect the dots except that she was in danger.
He snarled and skittered across the floor to come to a stop in front of her, growling low in his throat as a warning: The next creature to come at him would make a fine meal.
Dorothea was scared, too. Probably of him. But she was a hunter, and a hunter ran on instincts, and he had to trust his back to her.
The rest of the night blurred into a haze of blood and violence and the prickling pain of injuries that didn’t matter. Violence was his language, and before he knew it, the place was empty of the enemy. Only humans remained, and he prepared for the worst, prepared to defend himself now that the real threat was gone. Sylvain put his back to a wall, pushed against it, not done fighting if he didn’t have to be.
Felix was nervous too, wherever he was in the crowd of hunters, he was wary and waiting to have to go on the defensive again.
“–vain– you.”
Dorothea.
The fear.. was waning. Came from everywhere, but quieter.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, and it took him a moment to register it as a hug.
“You– azing!”
He was…?
— x —
There was a lot of cleanup to do in the aftermath of what had gone from a routine mission to a massacre. Friendly casualties were limited to injuries, though some of them had needed to be rushed to the hospital as soon as the coast was clear. Sylvain’s job, as a thumbless man, was to patrol the edges of the property, keep an eye out for returning vampires. Felix had communicated it effectively enough, but decided to keep him company anyway.
Somewhere in the back of Sylvain’s head, it bothered him that he wasn’t hungry. The rest of his brain drowned it out– if his stomach was full, what did it matter what had filled it?
As the sun peeked over the horizon, the danger had passed, and Sylvain found somewhere inside large enough to hold him while he changed back. The process wasn’t that different from the transformation itself, a little nausea, a lot disoriented, but when he finally sat up, he saw that he wasn’t alone.
Dorothea was there, head wrapped in a bandage that he – right? yeah – hadn’t put there.
She climbed up the bits of downed wall to sit gingerly next to him, arms wrapped around her knees. “Hey, Sylvie. How much do you remember tonight?”
He gave a long, deep sigh, leaning back on his elbows. “Blood. Lots of blood. But I think it was all.. I mean, no human blood?” He looked over at Dorothea, and she nodded. “Was I supposed to be here tonight?”
She laughed. “No, not remotely. Felix promised us you’d be somewhere safe, for you and everyone else.”
“Oh, uh. Yeah. Our living room.”
“Sylvie.”
He shrugged. “Is everyone okay?”
Dorothea sighed, and nodded again. “Mostly, yes. More importantly, you didn’t hurt anyone. Actually, it would’ve been a lot worse without you. So.. now that you can actually understand me: thank you.”
He hummed, noncommittal. She understood– it wasn’t enough.
“And… maybe we shouldn’t have assumed you were a violent killer or whatever.”
“All I can taste is blood.”
“Good point. Truce?”
“Yeah. Truce.”
He laid down in the rubble, and she laid next to him, her head on his shoulder. They laid there a while, before she asked, “What’s going through your head right now?”
The answer was too much to explain. Coming down from his transformation he was thinking about everything, nothing, guilt and anger and relief, but most of all his mind wandered back to the snowdrops. “I’m thinking.. spring can be nice, too.”
“..What?”
“And I’m sorry we’re making up while my dick’s out.”
Dorothea sighed. “This is kinda how I pictured it going, actually.”