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The battle with Kaido had left them all more than exhausted. Zoro really didn't understand how most of them had the energy to even continue standing after what had happened. His own body was crying out for him to lay down and not wake up again for another week, if possible, but he supposed that the same need to reiterate that he wasn't dead and simply sitting by a fire, surrounded by happy people, was the ultimate example of being alive.
The heat of war had brought his senses to the surface, making him feel almost invincible. Moments like this, in which Luffy's laughter echoed through his entire being and the clinking of glasses rang on his eardrums, were the ones that really showed him the pleasure of being alive.
The green-haired man didn't remember how many drinks he's had, but he wasn't interested in knowing. The fact that they would continue to come nonstop didn't help much either.
The vivid colors around him were nothing but a blur and the heat provided by the fire worked as a lullaby for his very tired everything.
His plan was to go to sleep without remembering where he was and, as the man of discipline that he was, the swordsman was doing everything he could to make it happen.
However, there was something that kept bouncing around his head, like a ball. Like Luffy doing something really fucking stupid.
He had spent more than an hour trying to figure out what it was, but his functional brain cells were fried after the war event, and if his gut had shown him something was that he could trust it when it came to alerting him of some nearby danger, and this discomfort didn't feel like something he had to break every bone in his body (again) to fight back.
So, he let it be.
The back of his neck itched, though. Like someone was going to drop something on him or was standing right behind him.
Planning on worrying later, continuing to empty bottles for now.
"This looks like it's going to last till dawn" the raspy voice of the man sitting right next to him pulled him out of his mind.
"Yeah, it better" he answered and took a big swig from his mug.
The old man only chuckled in response.
It was nice to see everybody so happy and energetic, he thought. Probably it has been a long time since all of these people felt genuine peace and joy, their eyes shining with gratefulness. All of it resonated in his chest, a small smile curled the corners of his lips.
But the same itching, the same small poke on the back of his neck made him look behind him again.
What the fuck.
"Y'know, she's been making eyes at you this whole time" the same raspy voice spoke to him one more time.
This time, he finally took a look at the owner of the voice.
Old man Hyogoro was sitting next to him. With his own cup in hand, bruises and cuts all over his small arms and torso, but the man seemed more alive than ever, still with energy vibrating throughout his body and like a good experienced man, he let it flow freely through his body, letting the calm and happiness of now consume him.
He deserved it, Zoro thought, if Luffy had let him know something, it was that this man needed peace and seeing him so calm now made him happy.
"Huh?" he turned around, the constant itch making him look all over the place like a magnet hidden somewhere.
She.
Soon, he found himself meeting a pair of sleepy blue eyes that seemed to shine like the light on the water. Hiyori was a couple of feet away from them, from everybody actually, secluded by the remaining red scabbards and sitting next to her brother, who looked beyond happy to have her with him again.
The battle wasn't kind to anyone involved, if the people missing in between their lines told something, the red scabbards had the whole story in their faces, hearts splitted by the joy of avenging Oden but the despair of losing some of them in the process. Zoro thought that it wasn't fair but nothing is during times of war, they knew the risk was big and took it anyways, and because of that he held a grandiose respect for them. He wished their souls could rest at peace now by the knowledge of having the children of their beloved lord and lady with them, kids that also had the same share of sadness in their faces, together with the actual scars and marks from the bloody battle that just ended.
Zoro paid more attention to the blue haired woman, taking advantage of the people in between them to remain covered and not be caught by her, staring like a creep.
She had a few cuts in her forehead and cheekbone, fair skin looking blushed and ripe. The long and silky hair was now tied in a bun at her nape, a few baby hairs roaming her face. The obi and kimono had a few tears here and there. Llegs neatly folded under her and Zoro recalls seeing her limping.
The battle was not forgiving.
But besides that, she was still there, smiling and finally free to show herself.
When the clash ended, his captain expressed loudly that he wanted a feast and to make a toast. The people of Wano, still too stunned to even process what happened, still helped them arrange everything and surrounded by debris, sorrow and a too silent happiness, the celebration began.
The tension that suffocated them to the marrow gradually dissipated, leaving them all in a quite comfortable stupor. The shouts of joy had faded and had become a cooing murmur. The stories and different points of view were told from different mouths and passed from ear to ear. The calm starting to settle, Zoro felt his body almost become one with the trunk he sat on.
Throughout the night Zoro felt a heaviness that accompanied him everywhere he went, his senses still on edge since he and the rest of the crew just got out of a deathly event, but couldn't find the source of the weight that made him look around. Not until Hyogoro pointed out the obvious, at least for everybody except him, that Hyori has been looking at him this whole time.
That made him shiver a little bit.
Everybody around her was trying to get her attention. Bouquets of flowers, gold and luxurious fabrics were shoved to her face. Zoro saw dozens of men and women trying to get her to look at them but she was only focused on him. Her big doe eyes had an aura of kindness, the kind that only mothers could possess. She treated the swordsman with tenderness and apprehension, hanging from every word he said.
She was beautiful, he was not blind. A beauty that seemed stolen from the sea, like a forbidden gift she wore as if it was a diadem. And if that was not enough, she possessed a strong soul too, she was brave and cunning.
A proud daughter of a samurai.
"Lady Hiyori seems quite affectionate of you," the old man clarified. His small hands holding a cup full to the brim with alcohol.
Zoro knew that, he had been running from those affections since she made them obvious.
"Mhm" and it still feels weird, still feels like it's not suited for him.
"Lord Momonosuke has been asked more than twenty times for her hand in the span of thirty minutes into the feast" The old man laughs entertained, adjusting his glasses "And even then... " he looks at Zoro "She seems to only have eyes for you"
His chest tightened.
Yep, this is not for him.
"Not interested, though" he said, looking everywhere else but her or Hyogoro.
Her stare letting him know she was still waiting for an answer to a question that was never verbally asked. She quietly offered, with her tender hands and kind smile, he didn't respond.
Even if he didnt let it out, he still felt guilty for not responding to her feelings. Zoro was aware that in the love’s battlefield there wasn't something just like fair or unfair, you couldn’t really decide over your own heart but he liked to think that, if he wasn't so caught up with a certain someone, he would think about trying something in here, in Wano, with her.
But even then, he just couldn't imagine a life where he didn't have him .
The edge of the glass looked more interesting than the conversation or the eyes that continued boring holes in him.
"Not interested?" the old man looked at him as if he grew another head.
Probably he had. He shrugged.
"Yup" and took a sip from his mug.
The little man had his mouth hanging open, utter shock displayed on his wrinkled features, his small hands still holding tightly the mug between them. But instead of making Zoro feel annoyed, he felt out of place. So uncomfortable, he felt the need to hide and never show his face again.
Feelings were not his forte.
"Never heard of a man that could not fall for a beauty like hers" Old man Hyogoro looked around "She looks so much like her mother... Lady Toki was a woman to behold"
Zoro remained silent. The man's statement seemed too serious and soulful to only answer with a monosyllable, so he said nothing and also feeling weirded out by the whole thing about seeing the same face of someone he never even met.
This whole thing made Zoro feel like he's impersonating somebody else. Hiyori having feelings for him only reinforced that thought, and it's like he feels he's not deserving of love, at least not from her. It only worked as a reminder that he really could not return her feelings and the mere fact that it made her sad makes him feel weird with himself. Not with her.
Feelings are complicated. But he already knew that.
After a while, Hyogoro sighed happily and looked at him again.
"If you don't mind me asking..." Zoro lifted an eyebrow, locking eyes with his companion "if it's not Lady Hiyori, then... who?
Zoro blushed immediately.
And that's where feelings go beyond any understanding. Who, indeed.
His mind immediately takes him to the grassy deck of the Sunny, where he likes to lay with his head softly cushioned by a pair of tights that could break watermelons. And necks. Gentle fingers massaging his scalp and a raspy but surprisingly lovely voice hums in a low tone.
There was no pint of comparison for him, he never had that idea in mind. No.
Who? if not Hiyori.
She has been nothing but a wonderful ally to have on their side, even when the swordsman showed nothing but annoyance for her, he appreciated her help and the things she did for him before.
Her gentle hands gracing his skin while tending to his wounds, a dedicated look on her face making the lower lip pop out in concentration. But just as he was contemplating before, the swordsman ended up in the same thought.
Who? they may ask, but the only answer was him, the smiling blond sitting across from him and old man Hyogoro.
Who? only him, since in his eyes there was no one else but him.
“It’s complicated” he started with that, since it was nothing but the truth. “We’re not…. together, but we know…. the feeling is mutual"
Because with them there was never something easy and if there was, the blond always found a way to make it difficult.
Ever since they first met, the man only met him with fierce eyes and a bravado that only made Zoro more interested, just like a moth to a light. He liked it rough and there was nothing more rowdy than their cook.
He never told anyone what had started brewing in his heart. Zoro could only look, stare at him from afar, wondering if there was something more beautiful and fulfilling than the cook in a simple morning doing his magic in the kitchen. He decided then, after a while of being on the crew, that he could live like this, enjoying being a regular in the fascinating journey that was falling in love with the love cook.
Until one day he spat it out, after one of their thousands of fights. And against every prediction, the other returned his feelings.
It was heated and harsh, both of them angry for something more serious than their usual bickering, the cook's eyes even looked on the verge of tearing up since he was just like Zoro; hated feelings, but unlike him, the cook had the misfortune of wearing his heart on his sleeve.
They stared at each other dumbfounded. The rushed battle of words made it hard to grasp the last words of the swordsman but once they did, blood came to their faces and suddenly they were not that angry anymore.
They didn't do that much talking About That after but an instant bond that pulled them together every damn time was there to appease their hesitating hearts. None of them could escape it, making them sometimes embrace it when no one was around, standing too close to each other or ending up spending the night talking until one of them fell asleep with their head on the other's lap.
But just as he said, nothing that involved the cook and him could be easy.
It wasn't that long after when they were separated and even after their reunion, there was no more room to talk about what happened between them, he was left wondering if there was still some space in that big heart of his. Even now, he knows that it hasn’t been that long that they still had Kaido’s big fucking mouth trying to blast them all off into oblivion, but he still wonders.
He aches for closure.
“You already have someone waiting for you back home?" the old man inquired, completely unaware of the brainstorm in Zoro’s head.
Zoro pursued his lips, directing his eyes at the other side of the fire.
Home.
Home was not the old village he grew up in. His plans were to return one day finally letting Kuina know that he made it but he never thought of staying there.
No.
In his mind, home was the golden strands of hair that seemed to burn with the light from the pyre. The hoarse laugh that reached the swordsman's ears, a sound so carefree that it pulled the corners of Zoro's lips into a smile.
"Something like that" he answered at the end.
He can always come back to him. Place in his heart or not.
"I see," said the man, smiling wisely "she must be very proud of you, to have a strong warrior as her companion"
That made him snort, already imagining the complaints, the redness of his face fueled with anger and flaming legs aiming at Zoro's everything with violent intent.
"Yeah," he nodded "I like to think I'm enough"
“If she’s willing to wait for you” Hyogoro chuckled, amused "you don't really need to worry about that"
Zoro nodded and settled into his place one more time. The words dedicated to him by the old man settled in his gut and provided a little bit of hope.
Their last separation is still fresh in his mind and heart, since this time the cook left him for something more personal. He didn't have the chance to ask him, and by the look the cook has in his eyes, he's not sure if he wants to know or if the cook would like to let him know.
Either way, they may not have had the time to talk but Zoro was a good observer and liked to look at the blond… probably there was some truth to what Hyogoro said.
"How is she?" the old man asked after a while, making Zoro go back on track and start thinking how he can describe the cook.
Once more he didn't mind the pronouns, thinking that it would be too much trouble explaining that to the old man, too much information for someone that really didn't have to know of the intricacies of their relationship.
How can he describe him? A man so difficult and complex, a whole contradiction, a paradox he tried to understand everyday but silently wished he never could. The time spent with him was too precious, too fragile and short, it felt like it was never enough but like an eternity at the same time.
His chest felt full at just the mere thought of that man, anger and fondness mixing in a strange combination that could only be his.
Sanji's .
His cook.
"Has the worst temper in the whole four seas” he started, lowering his mug and leaning into the old man's space as if he was telling a secret. "The stubbornness personified and has a special talent to get on my nerves"
Hyogoro nodded, amused by the swordsman’s words.
"But... I've been told I too am like that," he held the mug tighter in his hands, "we always fight because of that, we're too alike, always going against each other just for the sake of it… it’s scary"
And Zoro never experienced fear like a normal human being. It was always mixed with thrill and excitement, his hands itching to go into action. But with the cook his hands trembled with nervousness, a strange feeling floating in his chest and made it difficult to actually form coherent words in front of the cook. His heart used to have an irregular beat every time they were together, always going too fast.
There's never a boring moment with the cook.
"I have never met someone so passionate, kind and talented" He's everything , Zoro settles for that. "Has the biggest heart I've had ever seen, always looking out for everyone”
Hyogoro only laughs, loud and hoarse. Pleased to hear about the young quarrels of juvenile love.
“Sounds like quite a catch”
Zoro only smiles a little bit at that.
“And, if you don’t mind me asking… “ the old man was looking carefully into the pyre in front of them. Zoro looked at him, expecting “when do you plan on going back to her?”
Um. Great question.
Is it really possible to return to someone who was never there? And it's not about the physical stuff, because the cook just got back, but more about the whole emotional side. It doesn’t matter if they knew of the other’s feelings because at the end of the day they were never together, never tried to even start something, they just… let things flow whatever way it decided to take.
They were there, but not in the sense that matters.
He looks at Sanji and the cook looks back, probably feeling the same tickling he gets with Hiyori, and they just stare at each other, as if they were having a silent conversation which is at least something, in comparison with the total verbal silence they have going.
The last time they spoke was when the cook suddenly called him and asked him to kill him, which made him feel even more like a stranger but accepted anyways because he just really could not deny him anything.
The swordsman looks at him and wonders, not so sure of Sanji’s feelings now. Was there really a place to go back to? Right now he feels like there’s a whole gap in between them, a lot of uncertainty on how things are going to be when there was never a solid base to part from.
Zoro is still looking at him, when Sanji’s eyes meet his. And his insides sink down under the weight of the immense devotion he has for the cook. He feels overwhelmed just by seeing him now, all bloodied and bruised, eyes showing the mental exertion he went through but breathtaking all the way.
Zoro would like to know if this is how Hiyori feels too or with less intensity, and wonders if Sanji feels the same as him, right now.
Staring into each other, suddenly, with no else around.
The swordsman would like to know so many things, there’s so many mysteries about the cook, even after two years of knowing each other, and he wants to know them all.
He was planning on demanding an explanation once Luffy and everybody else returned from Whole Cake but the things at Wano were too tense to comment on that once all of them reunited.
He doesn't know if Sanji already talked to the others. Either to apologize or explain what happened over there. Zoro doesn't want to ask the others.
He knows about the woman though, and the wedding. That, at least.
He wondered if that was fulfilled or if Luffy arrived on time. If Sanji's biological family was there then it must have been the real thing. Something serious. And since it was Big Mom's daughter then they must have made it big and romantic just like the kind of things Sanji liked.
But Luffy fought Big Mom up there and she was not the happiest person when his captain made himself be seen. Probably he succeeded, as always.
The swordsman stole a look at Sanji's hands, he always did, but this time his eyes were looking for something and not admiring.
Searching for a precious metal band or the mark of one being there a while ago.
Hoping the discontent the yonko showed meant that Luffy ruined the wedding and also stole the groom.
Did you do it? Zoro still wants to know. Do you love her? Zoro needs to know.
Does she loves you like I do?
He wouldn't be mad if that was the case. Nope.
He had a lot of time to think about it, and even if the idea of Sanji not being with him made his heart painfully tight, he would let him go. Everything that made him happy.
But it hurts. So much.
He can still be there and annoy him. Zoro can still go with Sanji when he finds his precious sea and Sanji will be there when he fulfills his dream, he has to be, he cannot make it if the cook is not there. And if Sanji lets him, he can take care of whatever restaurant he opens in the All Blue.
He looks at Sanji and he looks at him.
“Oh.” Zoro got slightly startled by Hyogoro’s sudden exclamation and tears away his eyes from Sanji to look at the old man instead, who looks like the kind of amused that got played without knowing “I see.”
What. “What.”
And that response makes Hyogoro laugh wholeheartedly, even making some of the people around them look at them with curiosity. His small shoulders shake with the force of his laughter and a small tear runs down his cheek just to be wiped away by the man’s finger.
Zoro waited for the man to stop, a bamboozled expression on his face. Is he laughing at him?
Once the laugh dies down, Hyogoro looks at him and says “It seems that there’s no going back to your lover since he’s already here”
Oh.
Zoro turns red.
Oh.
He wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was, not when he knew how intensely both him and Sanji were looking at each other a few seconds ago.
They were too obvious.
“In that case, there’s not much to do about Lady Hiyori’s feelings, since yours are held by someone else” Zoro’s swallows a knot he didn’t feel forming in his throat “And if you still have your doubts… I can see, even from here, that he wants you to hold his as well”
Zoro sneaks a glance towards Sanji, who is trying very hard to not look at him but still doing it from the corner of his eye. But Zoro can also see Sanji’s cheeks tinted, probably for the fire but hopes it is for him.
Gods, let it be for him.
“Probably you should go and settle all your doubts” by this point Hyogoro had finished his drink a long time ago and is now dusting himself off, preparing to leave. “I think no one is sitting next to him”
And he leaves with a small wave of his hand, abandoning Zoro with the turmoil of his doubts and feelings doing rounds in his stomach.
He’s not sure if it's excitement, nervousness or everything all together but he prefers going against all kinds of rivals any other day than this.
He sneaks another glance at Sanji and this time he is also looking at him shyly. His face gets impossibly red.
Ok, so it’s not because of the fire.
Taking a deep breath, and convincing himself that there’s nothing to lose (which is an utter lie) he gets up, legs protesting under him but he continues anyway.
Mug long forgotten behind him.
Sanji is following his every step, visibly swallowing with nervousness and something else Zoro would like to know more about.
“Is this seat taken?” he awkwardly asks once he’s in front of Sanji, who looks up at him, making all the fire lights dance on the bruised but soft looking skin of his face. His eyes also shine amazingly, Zoro’s hands form a fist.
Sanji smiles and Zoro relaxes.
“No, mosshead” he says “There’s always room for you”
And he sits down, perfectly fitting in the space Sanji left for him.