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The roaring of the crowd, the microphone enhanced voice of the announcer, the countless aura signatures all around him, filled with so many different emotions it would've fried his brain if he didn't know how to filter them, all of that was very far away right now. Hiding his eyes behind his hat like he had told Cynthia about all those years ago, Ash silently stood up, Pikachu just as silent on his shoulder.
"Ash?" Goh asked worriedly, but Ash ignored him. He didn't want to talk with anyone but Iris right now. But when he felt Goh standing up, he had to. "Stay there Goh."
He felt his friend freeze from his tone of voice, and would've felt guilty if he wasn't holding onto his emotions with the strongest mask he was capable of putting on, but he felt Goh's understanding as he sat back in place, and for the millionth time since they first met, thanked Lugia for bringing them together.
The Alola Champion made his way to the exit of the stands, eyes still hidden behind his hat and ignoring how people started to notice one of the Masters Eight going to battle, their excited voices and clapping merely background noise as they had been since Haxorus fell.
Silently, he pulled out the Mega Gloves, slipping them on followed by the Dynamax Band, and finally the Z-Power Ring, letting his aura flare through all of them and igniting three bursts of light, blue, red and yellow.
For the first time in a while, he wasn't holding back.
Faintly, he heard the crowd's voice go silent, no doubt feeling the agressive bursts of power and realizing the champion wasn't nearly as cheerful as when he had entered the stands, and again, he would've felt guilty if he was paying enough attention.
Ash honestly didn't know whether he was mad or sad, nor why to this extent. Cynthia had completely earned that win, and Iris had given everything she had, putting up a better fight against the Sinnoh Champion than literally anyone he had ever seen. He should be proud, he was proud, so proud he couldn't even describe. This was exactly what that last battle in Unova had led up to, Iris had said it herself.
But he didn't need aura to see how much the loss hurt Iris even from the stands. Why would he, when he knew better than anyone how much a loss like this hurt like fucking hell.
He didn't think he had cried over a loss since Johto. Had learned to roll with it and after a while had even learned to just expect it. And clearly so had Iris, considering how composed she looked walking out of the field. But as soon as he laid eyes on her in the hallway, he had to pull his mask up even tighter.
He could see better than almost anyone that she looked terrible.
"Iris." Was all he said, only to get her to notice him, because she was even more out of it than he had been. Staring at her eyes, seeing the frustration and the disappointment and the held back tears and especially the guilt, oh yes, the guilt, that was always the worst part, it was like looking into a mirror.
After Sinnoh, he had been so used to it he didn't even bother to let anyone see how hard he took it. Brock always knew, because he was Brock, but it became easier to pretend he was fine as always. The last thing he wanted was for Iris to do the same.
"Ash..." Clearly even facing him was too much for her, because almost immediately her eyes filled with tears, but still as incredibly strong as ever, Iris forced a smile. "I lost."
"I know." And he did know. And he knew Iris knew that he knew. For all the differences they had, they were as close as any two friends could be. Which is why she slowly let herself go.
She didn't have to be strong right now. Not with him.
"Cynthia is so amazing!" Still, she tried, because she was as stubborn as he was and just as strong too, and Ash just kept smiling at her, no pity, no judgement, just understanding. "So- so amazing." She was hiccuping now, the tears freely streaming down her face, and took a step forward. A silent question.
She knew he wasn't all that fond of hugs, as weird as that may sound for someone as physically affectionate as Ash. But hugs meant being vulnerable, meant allowing yourself to be held and dropping all your defenses. Ash's journey had given him a million reasons to never ever do that.
But this? There would never be a better reason for it than this.
He stepped forward as well, a silent confirmation, and she immediately gave five more, running straight into his chest and finally letting it all loose.
Arms wrapping around her, he let her wail on his shirt, stroking her hair along with Pikachu and letting his own couple of tears fall on it.
"I- I los- lost!"
"I know."
"I lost in- in the fir- first round!"
"I know."
"I- I know I gave it my all but- god I just feel so weak- I wanted to go so much further!"
"I know."
And that's how it went. He kept repeating it because that's all he could do. She didn't need pity or reassuring of how great she had done, how it wasn't truly a loss if she just learned from it, how this would only make her stronger, she already knew all that and if she didn't then she wouldn't be a Champion.
All she needed was someone who understood.
Slowly, painfully, she composed herself again, her wails becoming sniffles and those sniffles dying as she wiped her nose and eyes, glancing up at him apologetically as she realized the mess she made on his shirt right before his first match. She didn't let him go at any moment, and he made no move to either.
"Sorry. It's all out now. Promise." She grinned shakily at him, and the difference to her forced smile from before squeezed a few more tears from his own eyes, even as he grinned back.
"That's ok. You would've done the same for me." And she would've. If he lost his match against Steven now, he had absolutely no doubt she would, and the notion of letting himself go like this to anyone legitimately terrified him, but he owed her that.
Leaning her forehead against his, she let out a deep breath, calming down for real now, and in the most raw and honest tone he's ever heard from her, said:
"Thank you."
She didn't need to, and Iris knew she didn't, but she wanted to say it all the same, and so Ash accepted it without complaint.
Releasing him and jumping back excitedly, Iris grinned at him, and even though her eyes were puffy and red, she looked perfect. Like herself. "You're up now Ash! Pikachu! I'll be cheering for you with all I've got! You two've got this!"
Pikachu gave a cheerful and powerful cry of agreement, and Ash mimicked her grin, because with partners like him and friends like her at his side?
Oh yeah. He's got this.
"Thanks Iris! Here, do you mind?" He asked, gesturing to his backpack, which the Unova Champion clearly didn't, extending her hands forward for it.
As he gave it to her, their hands brushed, and Iris softened, looking deep into his eyes with the most honest affection and belief one could have. "Give him hell, you two."
And he hoped he matched it when he looked back at hers. "You can count on it."
"Pika!"