Chapter Text
Dark curtains billowed out from an open window, the night air sending a chill through the room. Dick huffed in annoyance from where he had thrown himself on the couch at the prospect of having to move. Dragging his hands down his tired face and steeled himself to close the offending window. It was Blüdhaven after all.
It had been a long day. It seemed like every day was a long day recently. He came home from both his day job and his night job tired and sore, but he always had the other to head off to. He was running himself into the ground, and he knew that, but he didn’t exactly have any other choices. He and Bruce weren’t on speaking terms and Blüdhaven was one of the few places that could give Gotham a run for its money in terms of violence.
Okay, close the window first, then shower and change out of his Nightwing suit. Then maybe food. He could do this; it was only three more things and he’d be able to pass out for a few hours before needing to be down at the precinct.
Twenty minutes later and he was standing in front of his depressingly empty fridge. Apparently, it’d been a while since he’d picked up any groceries. He filed that away as a task for his future self and grabbed a box of mac & cheese from a cupboard before filling a small pot with water and setting it on the stove. Something in the back of his mind tingled and he perked up a little. He fiddled with the burner for a second longer before speaking up, “I know you probably consider boxed food blasphemous, but do you want any Little Wing?”
Dick turned after getting no response and peered at his uninvited house guest. Jason Todd was sitting quietly on the couch, staring at Dick but making no attempt to respond to him. Apparently, this night was going to be a quiet one.
Their casual staring contest continued until Dick sighed and turned back to the stove dumping the box into the now boiling water and setting the timer before drifting over to the couch and slumping down on it. “Anything you’ve been wanting to watch?” Dick queried as he booted up the TV even though he knew he probably wouldn’t get a response out of Jason tonight.
Dick settled on Thor: Ragnorok after mindlessly scrolling on Disney Plus for a few minutes. Figuring Jason would appreciate the witty humor that mirrored his own. A beeping interrupted the tired haze Dick had fallen into a few minutes into the movie. He pushed himself off the couch and made his way back into the kitchen to finish up their measly dinner.
He brought two steaming bowls over and set them on the coffee table between the two former Robins and the TV before settling back into the couch.
“You liked red pepper flakes in yours right?” As expected, Dick got no response, so he shrugged and grabbed his bowl.
Dick woke as the credits started rolling, squinting his eyes against the bright screen before glancing over to the other side of the couch. Jason hadn’t moved his position, which wasn’t surprising, but the fact that he was still there at all was. Jason was sticking around for longer than usual tonight.
Despite the personal touch of red pepper flakes, his bowl sat untouched, the food now cold and congealed. With a sigh, Dick gathered both their dinners up and headed to the kitchen dumping the contents of Jason’s bowl into the garbage before placing everything in the sink. Another task for his future self he decided.
“So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this time?” Dick called out glancing over at the seated Jason. Dick knew the answer, and he knew Jason wouldn’t tell him even if he didn’t know, but he felt the need to fill the silence. Usually, when Jason stuck around for longer, he was in a talking mood; he felt uncomfortably like a ghost right now Dick thought with a shiver.
“You uh sure you don’t have anything you want to talk about?” Dick asked as he made his way back over to the couch. “If not, we should probably call it. It’s been a long night and I have work soon.” Jason didn’t move and Dick rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably under his unwavering scrutiny. “Or I guess not.”
They sat in silence for a few more minutes before the weight of it broke through Dick’s resolve. “I’m sorry,” he breathed out. “I’m so sorry. I’m just as sorry as the day I learned about what happened, and I’m even more sorry that I learned what happened after the fact. I should’ve been there for you.” He dropped his head in defeat a few tears escaping his tired eyes.
“I don’t know what to do Little Wing. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’ve lost so much, and I’m trying to stop other people from losing like I have, but it’s just making me lose more and I’m not sure how much longer I can do it.” They sat in silence after that confession Dick lost in his thoughts. When he gathered himself together enough to look back up, Jason was gone.
Dick stood with a shuddering sigh and made his way to his bedroom before collapsing onto his bed. He was too tired to even get under the covers, but at least tonight he had cried before getting into bed so he didn’t have to deal with a damp pillow. More tears slipped out as his heavy lids slid closed; apparently, he had spoken too soon. Oh well, tomorrow was another day and another chance to not cry himself to sleep for once. It was also another chance for things to get worse, but he’d let future Dick deal with that problem. All current Dick was responsible for was getting up when his alarm went off.