Life Hates Us

by ZeroShroom

Summary:

Will is struggling to come to terms with his sexuality, so is Mike. Over spring break they start to realize that these feelings don't have to be normal to be okay.

Notes:

I have byler brainrot

Chapter 1: Thoughts

Will Byers hates himself.

He hated his dumb voice and the way he walked. His dumb clothes and his dumb hair. He especially hated his feelings.

Feelings got in the way of everything. They cause problems that he doesn't think could be fixed. Sometimes, he wishes they'd just go away… forever. Unfortunately for him, they never will. He's stuck with these dumb feelings for the rest of his days.

But maybe they aren't so bad because these feelings are magical. They make him smile before they make him wince. Will isn't allowed to feel this way. Especially about… him.

That's what others say; they say it's "unnatural" and "disgusting." Will tries to ignore them, but it's so hard when no one says differently. No one wants to attempt to be different; being different will only get you bullied. Or killed. If Will could, he would banish these feelings, just so he wouldn't be different. That way, he could fit in. Maybe then, he wouldn't get called names. He wouldn't have this anxiety following his every move.

Is someone going to find out? Do they know? What are they going to do to me? Am I being too obvious? They'll hate me…

"Hey, slowpoke, you coming?" Jonathan called. Right, school…

Will dreaded school. He had to catch a ride with Argyle, Jonathan's new friend. At school, not many people talked to him. He was grateful for this. However, he didn't appreciate the stares and whispers whenever he walked down the hallway. Will knew what they were thinking; he had gotten those same stares at his old school. El was his only friend. Some people talked to him in art class, but they avoided him outside of class. 

Will's job was to protect El. She could be a bit oblivious sometimes. He doesn't blame her, of course, she was in a lab for most of her life. Will was glad for this job; it distracted him from…other things.

"Yeah, coming," Will replies. He quickly shoves everything into his backpack and rushes downstairs. Jonathan meets him and El and the front door. Will can see Argyle waving, hesitantly he waves back.

"Are you guys coming, or what?" 

"Yep, we're coming," Jonathan yells.

They're greeted with the smell of weed wafting out of the van. Will sits with El in the back, she has a grin on her face. 

"Why are you smiling?"

"It's almost spring break!"

"Oh…yeah, that's right,"

Shit. 

Will forgot about that. Or at least, he'd been trying to. Will has been obsessing over that fact since it was being planned. So many thoughts and worries have crossed his mind.

What if Mike is completely different now? What if Mike realizes he hates Will? What if it's awkward? What if he finds out Will's secret?

What if... What if… There were too many thoughts that began with "What if," and Will hated them. Why couldn't he just be positive? His best friend is coming soon! Except, his "best friend" hasn't sent any letters, he hasn't even called Will. Mike has done that for El, which makes sense. They're in a relationship. That means you completely forget about your best friend of 10 years… right?

Will doesn't want to be the one to ruin spring break. So, he's decided to ignore all those thoughts and pretend to be as excited as El.

At school today, their class has to present a presentation about our heroes. El did hers about Hopper, Will thought it turned out fantastic. Will did his about Allan Turing. His many kept telling him how great it was, but her opinion doesn't count. She always says that about anything her kids make. It's nice of her, but it doesn't feel real.

As Will and EI are walking to their English class, someone shouts, "Allan Turing? Wasn't he a faggot?" 

Will freezes. He feels people turn their heads to him. They're all staring at him. He wanted to run. He wants to hide. Why'd he have to do the project on him? Couldn't he have done someone generic? 

He feels El's hand touch his shoulder. She whispers something, but Will can't hear her. All he can hear is the deafening sound of people's whispers. He can't take this.

Will sprints down the halls, dodging other students. A million thoughts are going through his head.

Finally, he makes it to English. He beat everyone to English class. His teacher looks at him curiously.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Will pants.

He sits in his seat, already wishing school was over. Will still has to go through 6 more hours. They'll probably feel like 10, especially when he's presenting.

When it's finally El's turn, Angela interrupts. Why now? Why El?

By the time Angela is finished making her point, El is fully in tears. She keeps going with her presentation, however. Even though the teacher said she could sit down. Will felt so bad. El doesn't deserve this, she worked so hard on her presentation.

People are jerks.

"Will Byers, you're up."

Damn it.

This time, Will is almost in tears. Fortunately, no one interrupted him. Mainly because people were still talking about El. Will was also talking so fast so he could get it over with. It worked, once he was done, all he had to do was clap after the other presentations.

That was probably one of the longest English classes he's experienced.

Will went to check up on El after class. When he got outside, he realized he should have gone faster. The first thing he sees is El and Angela, as well as a huge swarm of kids around them. The next thing Will knows, El is on the ground, and her broken project is next to her.

He rushes over and starts helping El pick up the pieces of her project.

Will tries to tell her it's not that bad.

"We can fix it together, okay?" he says through tears of his own. Now, they're both crying.

They go to the office, requesting to go home. Reluctantly, they say yes and call Joyce.

On the ride home, everyone is silent. Joyce attempts to break it by asking how their presentations went, but that didn't work.

If this had happened in Hawkins, the whole Party would be plotting to get back at Angela. However, this isn't Hawkins. It's not like Will misses going to school in Hawkins, he just misses his friends. He misses Dustin's theories, Lucas's eye rolls, and how Max would always tease Lucas and Dustin. Most of all, he missed Mike.

At least Will kind of knows about some things, from Dustin's letters. He told Will all about their new DnD club, and that Lucas is popular now. If Will was being honest, he was hurt that the Party joined a new club. Will promised Mike that he wouldn't join a different party, so why did Mike?

Why couldn't things just stay normal? Why did Will have to mess everything up? It's all his fault. He screwed it all up.

"Is there anything in the mail today?" El asks.

There probably is, it's always either from Mike (for EI) or Dustin. Will wouldn't be surprised if it's Mike. He'd probably write about how excited he is for spring break. Or that he's packing soon. Will was hoping it was Dustin.

"Yep! I think there was something for both of you!" Joyce replied.

Both? That's abnormal.

Once El and Will get home they race to the table, Will almost trips. El quickly grabs the letter for her. He glances over, it's from Max. Will spots the letter for him. Cautiously, he reads who it's from.

It's from him.

After months of not hearing from Mike at all, he finally sends a letter. Will has been sending letters almost once a week. Why has he written back all of a sudden?

El stays at the table to read her letter, but Will rushes off to his room. Will hopes El doesn't notice who the letter is from. The last thing he wants to do is make El upset.

The letter reads:

Dear Will,                                                            I'm sorry for not responding earlier, there's been a lot on my mind. I like reading your letters. They make me smile. Hawkins is boring without you. We all really miss you. I can't wait to see you for spring break! Are there any cool places in town? If so, we should go check them out. I really like the drawings you've sent me. You've improved so much while you've been gone! I definitely haven't, haha. Is there anything you want for your birthday? I have some ideas of what to get you from what El has told me. My mom keeps nagging me to start packing. Which, I guess makes sense, we're leaving in a few days. And I'm really bad at packing, haha. I'm hoping I can sleep for most of the flight. I can't wait to see you soon. And El.                (P.s write back ASAP, please)                      From, Mike =)

 

Will read it over and over. He wrote back. After all these months. Maybe he does still care. Will's heart was pounding out of his chest. A smile was plastered onto his face. It seemed to be stuck like that. He didn't mind, it felt comforting.

Will rummaged around his room to find some paper and a pen. He had to write back before Mike left for his flight. Otherwise Holly might get a hold of it… Then Mike might never get to read it.

Chapter 2: Family

Summary:

Will has a lot of thoughts going through his mind.
He's glad to have his family by his side. He knows they'd always be there for him.

Notes:

Sorry I've taken so long to update! School is starting soon and I'm very stressed about it.
I hope you like this chapter, I think I like it better then the last one tbh.

What to write… what to write… Will's mind was blank. He has written hundreds of letters before; why can't he do it now? 

Maybe he should ask El what Max wrote about. Will hasn't heard about Max for a while. He's gotten letters, but Max never talks about herself. Even those letters stopped coming, eventually. Her letters started to decrease after the first few months. Maybe it was getting too expensive to keep sending letters every week. 

Will walks in to see El smiling at the letter. And possibly blushing. "Anything new with Max?" El jumps. "Nope, she just wrote that she missed us and how boring Hawkins is," she smiled. Will was suspicious of El, but he let it go. Max seemed to be really special to El. He didn't want to get in the way of that.

"Are you going to write back?"

"Yeah, I will. Could you help me write it again?"

"Yeah, totally."

Now, Will has to write two letters. Thankfully, he only has to think of what to write for one of them. "You start thinking of what to write, then come get me, and I'll help you," Will patted her back, then went off to his room. 

He drops down to the floor after shutting the door. Tears start falling down his face. Everything becomes too much. He claws at his face in hopes that it will stop the tears. Will can hear every sound in almost a mile radius. They're echoing throughout his head. Nonstop. His head is pounding. There's too much. Too many noises, too many thoughts. Couldn't he just be normal? Surely, other people don't do this.

There's a knock at the door. Will tries to gather himself and muster up some words, muster up anything. "It's Jonathan. Can I come in?" It's not Joyce, thank god. 

Whenever Will's mom walked in on him crying, she made a big scene. She'd try to figure out what was wrong, but he never knew how to put his struggles into words. Jonathan was calmer; he would sit with Will and reassure him it was okay.

"Yeah, you can come in," Will says, wiping his eyes and quickly standing up. Jonathan takes one good look at him and pulls him straight into a hug. He wants to stay calm; he doesn't want to break down right now. Not again. He lets out a small "Thanks," to Jonathan.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it…"

"Okay, that's fine. Do you want to be alone?"

"Yes," Will croaked.

Jonathan paused before leaving. Just before he left the room, he looked back at Will. Jonathan and Will didn't talk as much as they used to. Sometimes, Will cries over that fact because he thinks it's his fault. Jonathan tries to reassure him that it's not. He understands that these things happen.

Will was very thankful for his family. They cared so deeply for him. Sometimes, they cared too much, however.

After a few minutes, Will calmed down. At this point, it's almost time for supper. He saves thinking about what to write for after supper. 

"Hey, Jon, why don't you guys go somewhere tonight? Like bowling or roller skating!" Joyce suggests. El responds immediately, "Oh! We should go bowling!" she exclaims. Will nods. "That sounds good." Jonathan agrees to take them, as well as bowl with them. 

-

During the drive, El talked about how they should go roller skating with Mike. Jonathan thought it was a good idea. Will stayed silent. He'll have to write his letter when he gets home. 

"Hey El, could you go get the shoes? I'm a size 10," Jonathan asks. "Yep! I'll be back!"

Uh oh. Will knows what's coming. Confrontation…

"So… Want to talk about what happened? If not, it's okay; I just wanna make sure you're okay. You know? 'Cause you've my brother and-" 

"I was just overstimulated." Will didn't want this to go any further. He's barely processed it yet. "Are you sure? You can talk to me." El comes back with the shoes before Will can answer. Meaning the conversation has been put on hold.

They spend the evening laughing and bowling. The night ends with them getting ice cream from a local restaurant. "This is so good! We should take Mike here!" El suggests. 

Mike this, Mike that. No matter what, Mike won't leave Will's mind alone. That reminds Will that he has to get home and write the letter.

-

Joyce was already asleep by the time they got back. Jonathan was half asleep, so he went straight to bed. El was still a bit hyper. Will was trying to think of how to start his letter.

Hey Mike! Thanks for writing back! No, too many exclamation marks.

Dear Mike, it's nice of you to write back. No, too formal.

Hey Mike. It's good to finally get a response. No, too aggressive.

Why is this so hard? Why is this letter different from all the other letters he's sent?

They're different because Will knows that Mike has been reading them. He knows that they weren't thrown in the trash. 

 

He starts writing.

Dear Mike,                                

it's nice to know you got my letters. El thought we could go roller skating during the break! We went today and had loads of fun! Maybe sometime you could draw something for me. Then, I can judge whether or not you've improved, haha. I'm not too picky about gifts; I'm just happy I get to see you. Besides, I'm sure your ideas will be pretty spot on. They normally are. By the time you get this, I hope you'd be all packed (I hope this arrives on time). I'd recommend taking some melatonin. My mom had to do that so she wouldn't panic the whole time. I'm so excited for spring break! So is El. She won't stop talking about it, haha. It's nice hearing her so excited.         

I miss you, 

Will

 

Will triple checked the letter to make sure there are no mistakes. He puts the letter in an envelope and leaves it on his desk. He'll have to send it in the morning.

Will's door creaks open, and El walks in. "Hey, could you write the letter for me now?" she asks. "Yeah, of course!"

El sits on Will's bed, and Will sits at his desk to start writing. "Alright, tell me what to write."

She begins, "Dear Max, I really miss you. I feel sad that you are sad. You should talk to Lucas more. I think he would like that." She takes a breath. "Maybe in the summer you could come to visit us! I talked to Joyce about it, and she likes that idea. I'm going to write more letters to you. You don't have to write back." A pause. Will stops to look at El. She's staring into space. "Is that it?" Will asks. "No, I'm just thinking. I'm not sure how to say something…" "What is it? I can try to help." She thinks about it. "It's a question; about… girls." Will gets confused. What does that mean? He can tell that El is thinking hard about this.

"I want to ask if… Max likes girls."

Oh.

"Oh, okay. Are you sure? Some people don't like being asked that."

"Yes, I'm sure."

Max wouldn't get angry at El for asking that, right?

Will wrote down El's question and finished the letter with a "Love El." He figured it was okay to do that. That's what El normally signs her letters with.

"Do you want to look over it?"

"No, I trust you," she smiled.

They said their 'good nights' and went to bed.

-

He's at the airport. Waiting on a bench for Mike. El is right beside him; on his other side is Jonathan. Argyle came along with them. He must've been bored. Mike should be arriving soon. Will can hear the tick-tocking of a clock in the background. Soon he will see his best friend of 10 years. He's been imagining how this day would go for months. Now it's finally happening.

In walks Mike, he's taller than Will thought he'd be. Then again, Will's a lot taller now, as well. El rushes to meet him with a smile. They kiss. His heart melts. Why? He knew this would happen. They're a couple, they are going to kiss.

Will goes up to meet him but as soon as he does Mike brushes past him. Completely ignoring him. It hurt his feelings. Weren't they friends? What about the letter he sent? Did he lie? 

The car ride is less than pleasant. Mike and El flirt the entire time. Jonathan and Argyle ignore them and are talking about food or something. Will didn't think Spring break would be this bad. This is going all wrong.

Maybe it'll get better.

He should confront Mike. Tell him it hurt his feelings that he's just ignoring him. They haven't seen each other in a year and Mike is acting like he's unimportant.

When they get home El says we should go roller skating. Mike says yes right away, and Will agrees. This can be Will's chance to take to Mike.

-

"Hey Mike," he starts. "Have you been ignoring me on purpose?"

"Duh." Tick…

Ouch.

"Why? I thought we were friends." Tock…

"I'd never be friends with a fairy," he spits. Tick tock…

What? Why's Mike being such a dick?

"What do you mean?" Will asks.

"I mean just what I said," Mike answers. Tick tock…

Even his best friend, who he thought would always stick up for him, hated him. What about 'crazy together' and all those times when he stood up for Will? 

All he could do is stare in shock. This might be worse than all the bullies calling him slurs or getting beat up. 

"But… You've always been there for me when other people called me things like that," Will was almost in tears now.

"I guess I got some sense knocked into me." Tick tock… tick tock…

"But-"

"Piss off, fag," he said firmly. Tick tock tick tock.

As Mike walked off Will started to cry. His vision got blurry and when he blinked, he was back in the Upside Down.

No. No, not again. Please.

Will starts running and calling out for help. A faint 'tick… tock… tick… tock…' begins again in the back of his mind and-

 

He wakes up. Completely dazed and sweaty, he looks at his surroundings. He's at home; in his bed; safe. He checks the time. It's 5:30, he should get ready for school.

Notes:

To everyone starting school again soon: you're going to be okay! Just take it one day at a time. You are allowed breaks. Have fun and good luck! <3

Chapter 3: Anger

Summary:

This chapter is in Mike's POV because I was bored.

Notes:

This one was a lot easier than the other two for some reason.

"MOM! WHERE IS MY SUITCASE?" Mike yells. He should have listened to his mother and started packing earlier. Now he's running through the house looking for his suitcase. Mike has to be at the airport by tomorrow morning. Instead of packing, he's been working at a store in town to earn some extra money for Will's gift. He has to get everything packed before he can go out and buy the gift. A rule set by his dad. 

Ted has started getting on Mike's case about anything and everything. Didn't pick up his socks? Grounded. Said something too quietly? Vacuum the whole house. His mom tries to reason with his dad, but he's stubborn, always has been.

"I think it's in the basement!" His mom yells back. Of course, it is. 

Mike rarely goes into the basement anymore, not since last year. There are too many memories down there. He'll only go down for a few seconds. 

"Let's make this quick," he mumbles to himself and runs downstairs. He glances around the room, it's not in plain sight. Where could it be? Mike checks under all the tables, but nothing. Maybe it's under the couch. Yes! Jackpot.

Thank god.

He hurries back to his room. His clothes are laid out on his bed, all folded and in neat piles. Mike packs them first, then his hygiene products. Should he bring sunscreen? No, he can just borrow from the Byers. He grabs his notebook and pencil case; so he can write if he gets bored. He'll put a few books as well as his Walkman and cassettes in a separate bag; for the flight. 

"I think that's it," he sighs. Now he can buy Will's gift! Mike has been stressing over what to get him for weeks. He sent a letter and asked what he wanted, but Mike wasn't sure he'd get a letter back in time. That was okay, he kind of deserved it anyway. He knew what Will liked; if he hadn't changed too much in the past year. 

"Hey Mike, come here for a second." Damn it, more interruptions. Mike went to see what was going on. He opened his door to see Nancy holding a letter. "What's that?" Mike knew what it was, he just didn't understand why Nancy was holding it. "It's a letter… From Will. I went out early this morning to get the mail, and I noticed this letter," she paused. "And I know that dad has been more of an ass lately… So I kept it in my bag so he wouldn't see." Shit. Why did she do that? Does she know? Does his dad know? All he could let out was a simple "Thanks," and with that, he grabbed the letter and practically slammed the door.

It came! He didn't send it too late! Mike swiftly opened the letter and read its contents. He could feel a smile growing upon his face. Every time one of Will's letters arrived, Mike had to read them in private. He learned that the first time he had received a letter from him. His dad was fully prepared to hit Mike if it wasn't for Nancy and his mom.

Will's answer doesn't aid Mike in any way. Thankfully Mike still has an idea or two. He enters the living room to tell his mom that he's all packed, except for the gift. Something stops him; arguing. It's his parents. Quietly, he listens to what they're saying from a distance.

"He's just a kid Ted!"

"Not anymore he's not. That boy needs to learn how to be a real man. Instead of playing with boys all day, he should be working."

Mike has been working. He isn't just playing around.

"Maybe he doesn't want to do that! Maybe he likes being a boy!"

"Well, he can't always come crying to you after everything, Karen!"

"There is nothing wrong with that."

Mike doesn't do that, he barely talks to either of his parents.

"Well, there's something wrong with him."

Silence.

Does his Mom agree? Does she think something is wrong with him? Do they know?

He breaks the silence, "Hey mom, I'm going out." Mike doesn't wait for a response, he's already out the door. 

He's panting; running out of breath. Mike had to get out of there. Where could he go? An idea popped into his head… He could go to Eddie's trailer! But first, he should get Will's gift before he forgets.

Mike knows that growing up, Will and his family were pretty poor. Every year Mike would ask him "If you had enough money for anything, what would you get?" He almost always responded with "Something to play my music." So, every year, Mike would gather the other party members and see if they could afford anything like that. They never could, so they always ended up going to the movies and getting a bunch of snacks. The Party loved doing it every year, but they loved Will's reaction better. He'd always tell them that they didn't have to. They'd always ignore him and do it anyway because they knew it made him happy.

This year, however, Mike saved up his money and got a job. He's finally able to afford the gift Will has always wanted. 

On Mike's way to the electronics store, he saw the family video store. That's where Steve works. Mike never really liked Steve, but over the years and with all that's happened, the hatred has died down. Now, he will occasionally chat with Steve. Thanks to Dustin talking about him all the time, Mike has realized he's not too bad anymore. 

"Hey, Steve," he waves.

"Oh, hey Wheeler! Watcha doing here?"

"I'm on my way to buy a gift."

"Cool, who for?"

Mike's breath catches. Why? He's always bought gifts for his friends. It's no different now. Right?

"Oh um, just a friend."

Don't say it like that!

"Right…" Steve winks.

Shit, say something!

"It's… It's not like that! It's for Will! My friend Will!"

Steve just stares and smiles, "Okay, no problem Wheeler."

Phew.

"Well, um, I better go now."

"Alright, it was nice talking to you!'' Steve calls as Mike leaves.

His heart was racing. Why did he feel he had to explain, it was none of his business.

Finally, now Mike can buy the present. He enters the stores and immediately spots what he's looking for. A walkman. Mike looks through all the options, which one suits Will the best? 

This one. There is no doubt in Mike's mind that Will would love the yellow walkman. It's perfect. Just like him. 

Mike lets out a little smile.

He goes up to the counter to buy and he bumps into someone. It's Eddie!

"Hey, perfect timing man! Would it be alright if I hang out with you today?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"Thanks, Eddie."

"No problem man!"

Mike buys the walkman and leaves with Eddie.

There's an awkward silence until Eddie speaks up.

"So… Why'd you buy a new walkman? The old one broke?"

"It's for Will, the guy I was telling you about the other day. His birthday is coming up soon and he's always wanted One."

"Oh, cool. Did you use your own money?"

"Uh, yeah actually."

"That's awesome man, you must have saved up a lot, huh."

"Yep, got a job and everything!"

"You're a really good friend for doing that, Wheeler!"

Mike doesn't think so, he's sent one letter. That's it! No calls or anything. Just one letter.

He doesn't reply.

"Hey, are you okay, man?"

"… I overheard my parents fighting. About me. They think something is wrong with me…"

"Why do they think that?"

"I don't know…"

Mike knows why. He just hopes he's wrong. 

"Well… You're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"Thanks, but I'll have to go back tonight. I still have to pack the rest of Will's gift."

"What else are you getting him?"

"A few cassettes with some music I think he'd like and some snacks."

"Cool, man!" Eddie smiled.

Mike was dreading having to go back. He didn't want to face his parents. They'd just act normal; as if nothing happened. Mike would have to do the same, even though he has this burning anger inside. The anger is pushing against his lungs, trying to escape. Maybe he should let it out. Maybe his parents deserve it. Mike can be the asshole this time. He's done with his parents. Done with the arguing. Done with the hurtful comments. Done with the ignoring. Just done. 

Eddie elbows Mike's side to get his attention. "Hey! What was that for?" Mike barked. He just stared, "What are you thinking about?"

If Mike said what he was thinking about, Eddie might judge him. Then again, it's Eddie. He wouldn't do that.

"I'm just so... So enraged! I need to let it out."

"I think I know something to help you," Eddie beamed.

This better be good… And legal.

Chapter 4: Feelings

Summary:

Mike and Eddie bonding <3
Some angst

Notes:

Highschool is very draining =/

"What am I supposed to do with a bat?" 

"Y'know, whack the hell out of shit," Eddie answered.

Right, obviously . Maybe this would help. It does seem kind of fun. Mike started beating the shit out of some dead trees. 

And along with the beating of trees came some unwanted thoughts.

Your parents know.

Whack

Your dad hates what you've become.

Whack

The thoughts he had been trying to avoid.

Why couldn't you just be normal?

Whack

The terrible thoughts.

Your fault.

Whack

It's all your fault.

Crack.

"Holy shit, Wheeler!"

Mike stares, completely bewildered. Holy shit was right. Mike has never been an athlete; he's always been a weak kid. Ever since he could remember, maybe it was because he never tried. Or maybe it was because Mike wanted to piss off his dad to rebel against him. But maybe, if it wasn't for those, he could have succeeded at a sport. Like basketball with Lucas or volleyball. Because, as it turns out, Mike can be strong. If he had the right attitude.

"Four," Mike blurted.

"What was that?" Eddie spun around.

"... It only took four hits to break."

"Yeah, good job, dude," he replied.

Eddie didn't get it. That wasn't what he wanted. Mike wanted more. He still had feelings that needed to get out. There were still many fallen trees; Mike just had to find a stronger one. One that would take longer to break. 

He took a look around; all the trees around them were rotting and full of worms or slugs. Mike strolled around until he found a good-looking tree. A nice oak, not too old, and not fallen recently. It was perfect.

He stared. And stared. Then, he gave it a big strike. Then, a few more. And another. Mike couldn't stop. It felt so… relieving. He didn't feel quite at peace, but he didn't feel stuck, either. He kept going and going. However, the thoughts kept coming and coming…

It should have been you. 

The first hit left no marks.

You're useless.

On the second hit, he heard a crack.

You can't do anything right.

And another.

Everyone is going to leave.

More cracks.

Just like Will.

A tear trickled out of his eye.

Then, you'll be all alone.

The hits keep landing, and so do Mike's tears.

Because that's what you deserve.

He started to sob uncontrollably. Mike can feel his hands trembling as he continues, beating the crap out of the tree. All of his surroundings become unfocused and blurry. He can't see anymore. The only thing he knows for certain at this moment is that his hits are still landing and that he can't stop. He doesn't have control of his actions anymore. His feelings and adrenaline take over. 

Abruptly, he feels a strong hold stop him from bashing the fallen tree. Mike starts to collapse. Eddie catches him just in time. All of the hitting and bawling has tired him. He's exhausted… so exhausted. Eddie says something to him, but it's detached. Mike doesn't understand what he is saying. 

"Huh?"

"...Alright?"

Mike just blinked. He didn't have the energy for anything else.

"Did you hear me, kid?"

"No," he croaked. Mike felt so much pain, there was too much pain.

"I said: I'm gonna take you home, alright?"

That caught Mike's attention, "No!"

Eddie seemed confused. "Where else am I gonna take you?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost 7:30 why?"

Oh, thank god.

"Can we just go for a walk?" Mike asked quietly.

"Um, yeah, I guess. Where to?"

"Just around town, or somethin'."

"Alright, I can handle that," he smiled.

Mike was glad to have met Eddie. He helped Mike and the party. Eddie included anyone who wanted to be. No one was ever left out. We felt cared for. We felt like a real family. Everyone stood up for one another. Mike was so thankful for all of them. Though, he had a hard time showing it. He hoped they understood.

-

A long silence pursued for most of the walk. They walked past the video store, the library, and the school. There was some small talk, but nothing more. Mike didn't think he could handle anything more. Despite that, Eddie wanted to know what had happened. "So, did you want to talk about… what happened?"

No, not really. 

"If I have to."

"Um… what were you thinking about? Anything… special?"

Just many many thoughts that he did not want to share.

"Sure, I guess."

"Like what?"

…

"I should go home. Get some sleep before I have to leave in the morning." That was true. Mike didn't want to be cranky tomorrow. Otherwise, the flight would be absolute hell. 

"Oh. Well, I'm here if you want to talk. The whole party is," Eddie looked disappointed. That felt like a punch directly to the gut.

"Thanks," he replied and he took off without a second to lose. Mike couldn't stand to look at Eddie's expression any longer than he had to. 

It was quite hard to run when your legs were previously wobbly. These feelings don't automatically go away. Unfortunately, not many feelings do. 

-

Mike was greeted by his mother, almost sprinting up to hug him. "Where did you go? We were worried about you," she cried. His dad didn't even turn his head. He just sat reading his newspaper, as usual, not giving two shits. It didn't quite seem like he cared at all. Lucky enough, sweet little Holly was second to run and hug Mike. "Yeah! Where were you?" Holly exclaimed with a sad expression. That made Mike let out a small grin, but he immediately went back to a neutral face. Today is just full of sad expressions, first Eddie and now his sister. "I told you I was going out," he looked at his mother. His face was blank. Mike didn't care that his mom was worried. All he cared about at that moment was getting to bed. His mother, however, thought differently.

"There's supper on the table; you should eat something."

"I'm just gonna go to my room."

She gave him a judgemental stare. But Mike did not want to give in.

"Please, Mom, I'm tired."

"...Fine," she sighed.

And with that, he ran up to his room. Mike wrapped up his present for Will and packed it in his bag. He was ready, physically. Mentally, however, he was terrified. This visit felt different from any other time he's seen the Byers, Will especially. Was it because he changed, or because he's afraid Will has?

Mike spent most of the night drenched in sweat. It was happening. Mike was going to see Will again! And El. He couldn't forget about El… could he? 

His dream was filled with memories of Mike's childhood. Things like: D&D, school, bullying, the upside down, the negligence of his parents, and most importantly, Will. Particularly when he was possessed and some of the things he has said to Will. But they didn't seem… exact. There were more red tones. It was all odd; the memories were so aggressive. Mike was overwhelmed, and it felt stuffy, so stuffy that he woke up and immediately clutched his chest. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like he was shaking all over. His breathing was shallow and it felt like his lungs were shrinking by the second. How did that breathing technique go again?

In, hold, two, three, four, out. Again. In, hold, two, three, four, out. That seemed to be helping.

What time is it? 6:45? That leaves enough time for a shower and breakfast. He should ask Nancy to drive him to the airport, it'd be better than his parents. Mike didn't want to be asked a hundred billion questions in only 30 minutes. Besides, Nancy's car was a lot cleaner than his father's. 

He double-checks his bags and prepares for a shower, but he hears something that makes him freeze. Is it his mom or his dad? Maybe Holly had a nightmare. Whatever it was didn't matter, he had to get ready for the flight. 

The shower lasted a tad long, it was nice to reset his thoughts. Sometimes they could get extremely loud.

Mike put on a black band tee with his favourite band "The Smiths" and some black jeans. He thought his blue Converse would go well with his tee. Maybe he should wear a jacket for when he's waiting. He probably won't wear it in California, however, it's not worth it. Mike was ready, so he strolled over to Nancy's room. He felt a sort of energy rising into his throat, but he gulped it down.

"Hey Nance, could you drive me to the airport?" he knocked on her door.

She opened the door, "Uh, yeah. Is there a reason you don't want mom and dad to drive you?"

"No, nothing in particular." That was slightly true, there were many reasons. He was hoping Nancy would be too tired to care to ask questions.

"Alright just let me get dressed and we'll be on our way."

"Okay, thanks."

If Nancy is quick enough they can get out of the house before his parents-

"Hey kiddo, you're up early."

Now, Mike knew who he had heard early this morning, it was his father.

Of fucking course. He just had to jinx himself.

"Um, yeah. I thought I could get a head start."

"Oh okay, good idea."

An awkward silence began. It's as if his dad adored them because they always seemed to happen.

His father stared at him for a bit, "You look like a queer," he spat. He didn't say it to hurt Mike's feelings, he said it in more of a "matter of fact" tone.

Leave it to him to comment on Mike's appearance. It happened often, and yet it still hurt.

"Lovely conversation, dad," Mike responded and stormed off into his room. This is why he wanted to leave early, the drive with his parents would've consisted of rude remarks and questions. Or his mom would be a nervous wreck and obsess over the smallest things. He made a good choice to ask Nancy instead.

Maybe he should just walk to the airport, if he got a head start now, he might get there on time for his flight.

Unfortunately, right as he was thinking that, Nancy knocked on his door to let him know she was ready to go.

Oh well, maybe Nancy isn't that bad, maybe she won't be as annoying as she normally is. He'd rather have an annoying driver than an offensive and ignorant driver. 

Mike can't wait to get his license.

Notes:

Should the next chapter be Will's point of view? I'm quite enjoying writing Mike's perspective rn.

Chapter 5: The Drive

Summary:

Nancy drives Mike to the airport, and the two siblings have a talk...

Notes:

I was a bit slow to write this chapter =/

Nancy and Mike exit the house without saying goodbye. They didn't get anything to eat, so Nancy promised to buy some food for both of them. This morning has gone off with a rocky start, but Mike hopes it'll get better. 

Nancy is staring directly ahead, as she should be, and Mike is staring into his lap. He's picking at the skin of his fingers. The tips of his fingers are always bloodstained, or they have skin peeling everywhere. Most of the time, he'll do it subconsciously; this time, he's doing it to avoid looking at Nancy. 

She was good at minding her business when she thought it was the right time. Sometimes, she would ask about a situation -that Mike wanted to keep a secret from his parents- at the dinner table during breakfast. It was nice to know she was thinking about Mike, but she had horrible timing. 

"Are you excited to see El?" 

Like that.

Mike didn't want to talk about El; he didn't even want to think about her right now. All he wanted was some breakfast. But his sister gave him such a endearing look that made him feel guilty. 

"Uh, yeah. I can't wait…"

Mike hoped Nancy didn't notice the letdown in his voice. He wasn't the best at hiding how he was feeling, but even so, he would never talk about those feelings.

"Can we get something to eat?" He asks before Nancy can question further. 

"Yeah, what do you want? How about some fries?"

"Fries sound good."

The Wheeler siblings shared a smile; this was rare for them. Most of the time, they were arguing (mostly because of Mike). Smiling felt nice; it felt even better that someone was smiling back at him.

-

"These fries taste like shit," Mike laughed. They had gotten some fries from a sketchy-looking store on the side of the road. No other surrounding buildings, just a random place that sells fresh fries. If Mike was honest, the only bad thing about them was that they were a bit crunchy. But he wanted to get Nancy a tad bit angry like they used to.

"Well, I can eat them if you hate them so much."

"No, it's fine…" he mumbled.

"That's what I thought," she said triumphantly.

It's probably for the better that Nancy stays peaceful for the drive. It would suck arguing right before he leaves. 

Oh right , in like five hours, Mike would see the Byers. The people he's been dreading to see and yet so excited to see again. Even Jonathan. They had never gotten along like Mike and Joyce did, but Jonathan was nice to him. Joyce was so loving to Mike and the whole party. She thought of them as her own.

There was still time to go back, to turn around. All he had to do was ask Nancy, but that would lead to the embarrassment of having to answer the question of "why." Mike wasn't ready to answer that question; he hardly knew why. Maybe it was because he was not excited to see Will; maybe it was that he was excited. Both Nancy and his parents would ask why. And if Mike guessed correctly, his father would call him a name that he got called often. 

Sissy.

Mike was about to come to tears, but Nancy interrupted.

"I miss Jonathan. It's too bad I can't come."

She never talks about her feelings, especially not to Mike. 

"Yeah, but there will be more times," he reassured. 

Nancy looked doubtful, "I guess so…" 

Mike has never been good with feelings, his or others. He wishes he knew how to comfort his sister; she always knew how to comfort him.

Maybe a joke will lighten the mood. "What's red and bad for your teeth?"

"I don't know, Mike," she sighed.

"A brick," he smiled.

"Ha, that's a good one!" Nancy chuckled.

That seemed to work, but it won't stay like that. He should figure out what's going on with Nancy. If he doesn't, he'll feel guilty for not helping.

"Is there something going on? With you and Jonathan?"

There it was, the big question. But, Nancy ignored it and asked an even bigger question, "What about you and El? Is there something going between you guys?"

Mike took a second to think about how he should respond. Should he be truthful? Maybe that would help take Nancy's mind off of her problems. Or should he push an answer out of her and ignore her question?

He decided to be truthful.

"I… I don't know anymore," he started, "I think I'm confused about… some things." Those things being Mike's entire relationship with El and girls. 

"Confused about what?" Nancy questioned further. 

"About myself… "

Mike could feel the tears start to fill his eyes.

This topic has been almost brought up so many times but then pushed aside. Mike thought he still had time. Except he didn't have any time, really. Mike was going to see the "topic" in less than five hours.

"At your age, that's normal! It's okay to feel different, because you are, everyone is!"

That didn't mean anything to Mike; he had heard this speech many times over the years. His situation was different. He was different from the other different kids. Mike just didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah, you're right," he sighed and turned his head to face the window.

"I-I mean, it'll get better! I promise you, when you're older you'll miss being different!" she rambled on.

Yeah, right . When has being different ever been a good thing? People get bullied for it, killed even. Why should I miss this?

"We're almost at the airport, why don't we just listen to the radio?" Mike suggested, cutting his sister off.

"Oh- okay…" she said, hurt. 

It's not her fault. She doesn't know. Nancy doesn't know. Relax.

And that's what they did, it only took five songs until they arrived. None of those songs helped lighten the mood, however.

Mike didn't want to leave his sister for a week without apologizing. He could admit, he was being an asshole. " Hey, Nance," he started. Nancy gave him a hopeful look, "Yeah?"

Deep breathes. You'll be fine, besides you're leaving soon anyways.

"I wanted to tell you something and it could change your entire opinion of me."

"Spit it out, Mike, you're scaring me…"

He gulped, "I don't think I like El… or any girls honestly…"

She looked speechless.

Shit.

"I should go, sorry…" he said as he wiped a tear from his cheek and ran to his waiting area. Mike just wanted to get onto the plane. Unfortunately, he'd still have to wait a while. He would have to sit there, ashamed and heartbroken, until his plane arrived. At least he kind of apologized, but that didn't matter anymore. All he could think about is the fact that Nancy probably thinks he is a horrible person. 

Just then, Nancy comes running over. "Mike! You can't just leave after saying that! I never got a chance to respond," she exclaimed.

He wasn't finished crying, so he didn't respond. Mike felt too guilty to try to explain, anyways.

Once he calmed down he answered, "I'm sorry… Please don't hate me." This conversation might bring him to tears, again. 

Nancy stared at him, she looked at him like he had three heads. "Hate you? Why would I hate you?"

What?  

Mike stood up and for a second, no one around them existed. No one else mattered. He pulled Nancy into a hug and cried into her shoulder. Mike grabbed at her shirt, and in return, she gently squeezed him back. As if to tell him that it'll all be okay. And at that moment, he believed her. It was going to be okay, this week will go all right. He's going to see the Byers again, and he'll talk to El and they'll be okay. 

Mike still didn't know how he felt, he was in denial. Maybe he could still like girls. He forced himself to like El, why couldn’t he do it with other girls?

Because it wouldn't be real. His relationship would end up like his parent's. That's always been a nightmare of his, he could never let that happen to himself or the person he's with. Whoever that might end up being.

"How am I supposed to explain this to El?" He pulled away from Nancy. 

From what Mike has heard from El in her letters, Jonathan and Will have a brotherly bond with El now. They'd probably murder me if I broke up with her. Maybe not Will, but Jonathan definitely would. If he's not too high to understand what's going on.

"Just be honest, she'll understand. It's El," she smiled.

"But what if I hurt her?"

"I'm sure you won't Mike."

I hope so.

Besides, El has matured while she's been in California. Mike can tell from her writing. She's learned a lot from school and Will.

Maybe it will be okay, he just has to be honest. He can be honest with her.

Notes:

Should the next chapter be in Mike's pov an the plane or in Will's pov on the day Mike is arriving?
I'm leaning towards Will's pov tbh

Chapter 6: Finally

Summary:

Mike finally arrives in California, and Will, El and him go roller skating.

Notes:

I make fun of Mike's outfit a lot, because it was absolutely terrible haha.

Today is the day, finally, after waiting for what seemed like half of Will's life. He was going to see Mike again. And so was El. 

El hasn't stopped talking about how excited she is. She'll add the fact that Mike will be here any chance she gets. It's the only thing she likes talking about. 

Sometimes, she'll talk about what they're all going to do. But mostly stuff about Mike.

Joyce thinks it's cute. Jonathan just smiles and nods. Will doesn't even think he knows that Mike is coming for the break. It'll be a hell of a surprise for him.

The ride to the airport was so nerve-wracking that it was one of the most anxious things Will had ever experienced. The music was blasting, and it smelt of weed; this did not help Will calm down. His leg wouldn't stop bouncing, and he could feel his breath shorten at every turn. He looked over to see that El might be feeling the same way. That wasn't reassuring…

As soon as Will stepped out of the car, the smell of fresh air filled his lungs. He took deep breaths in and deep breaths out as the school counselor told him to. 

The worst part wasn't the months coming up to the visit; it was the wait in the airport. In a few minutes, Mike's plane would land, and he would walk through the doors in front of Will, El, and Jonathan (and Argyle). It was happening. Will was going to see Mike again. He had gone over this scenario every day for months; now, it was becoming true. Will never imagined the waiting part, mainly the arrival of Mike or the following days.

But as soon as Mike walked through the doors, Will completely forgot about them. He couldn't escape now; he has to face his fears. What did he fear? The real question should be: What didn't he fear? That might be easier to answer.

On the one side of Will, he could see El's face, pure joy. It was overbearing how El's fears weakened away, but Will's fears strengthened. 

On his other side, Jonathan is staring off into the third dimension, Argyle joins him there. He probably still doesn't know what is happening. Jonathan hasn't even noticed Mike is in front of them. 

El jumped right up and ran to Mike, still smiling. They hugged, and El handed Mike the flowers she bought, she spent so much time picking them out in the store. When turned around, she looked disappointed for about 3 seconds, but it quickly faded away when she noticed Will and Jonathan looked concerned. Will was next in line to hug Mike. In his mind, he was covered in sweat and was melting right in front of Mike. Of course, that was just Will's imagination.

Once Mike's face fell on Will's, his face brightened immediately. All of a sudden, Will's fears disappeared as if they were never there, to begin with. The hug was tight and when they let go they almost stumbled, not being used to the looseness. Will realized how much he truly missed Mike's hugs. They always made Will feel better. His hugs were special because he never hugged anyone else like that, not even El or his mom. 

"Will! I've missed you like crazy!" He smiled.

Crazy together.

"I missed you, too! Did my letter arrive on time?"

"Yep, it came the day before I left!"

The conversation consisted of nothing but smiles from both of them. It was too good to be true! Will pinched himself so much that there were marks all up his left arm. There were no signs that Mike had suddenly lost interest in being Will's friend. Or that Mike was a mean person now and hates him. 

Will side glanced and saw Jonathan and Argyle looking at each other as if they figured something out. It could have just been that they realized there was a vending machine behind them. Will doubted that. They knew something about him.

But, there was nothing to figure out, this was a normal conversation. Nothing odd or different about it. Except for Will.

The flowers in Mike's hand reminded Will of something. 

Fuck. The painting.

He frantically looked around for help, "I forgot something at home."

"Oh damn, we'll have to wait till after roller skating. Unless you want me to go get it while you guys skate," Jonathan offered.

He looked very gentle and reassuring, maybe he was sobering up, now. Will wasn't quite sure how that stuff worked.

"No, it can wait," he sighed.

Will was half glad that he forgot it, now he could wait and think about what he'll say.

-

"Hey, Will! Have fun! We'll pick you guys up at 7:00," Jonathan called out from the van. 

Will waved goodbye and headed inside. 

When Will stepped inside a gust of dirty shoes shot up his nose. He's never gone roller skating here. This was going to be his first time. El says she's gone a hundred times with her friends, but Will knows she's fibbing.

El waved him over once he got his skates. Will noticed that Mike didn't have any socks (because of that terrible outfit). 

"Mike, you need socks, so you don't get blisters," Will explained.

"Oh, yeah. Do they sell them here?"

"I could go get some for you!" El offered.

"Yeah, thanks," Mike smiled.

Will thought back to the airport. Mike's reaction was so much happier when he saw Will than when he saw El, his girlfriend. His mood was instantly lifted when he saw him. Will didn't think anyone was expecting that, especially not El and Will. Why did El look so disappointed after she and Mike hugged? Would this be a good time to ask him about it? Whatever… I'll just go for it. Will told himself.

"Hey… Mike, why did El look disappointed after you two hugged?"

"Oh, I didn't know she was upset…"

Mike looked ashamed, he was telling the truth. But, it still doesn't answer why El was upset. 

This might be awkward after all, just not in the way Will thought.

"Here you go! They were the only pair available," El laughed.

"Um, thanks?" Mike said, baffled.

The socks were the worst type of green Will had ever seen. They reminded him of those battery acid drinks that everyone at school liked. Yet, somehow, they still matched Mike's outfit. Will wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He had to stop himself from laughing aloud in front of all these people. So did El. Mike sat there with a disgusted face as he unwillingly put the socks on. It's not like people would notice them, the rest of his outfit is going to steal the spotlight, anyways. 

Even if Mike did look horrendous, Will found it endearing. It was cute and funny that he chose an outfit that he thought would make him fit into the crowd that is California. He failed, but it was still sweet.

Will missed this about Mike, he tried so hard to not get bullied. He would protect the party from bullies, even if it meant he'd get hurt. Mike always did get hurt in the end. But, the party was always there to help bandage his wounds. They were always there for each other.

It's not like that anymore, however. They've drifted apart. Lucas hangs out with the popular kids, Will is too far away, Mike is too angsty, and Dustin has other friends. Will knows that's how life goes, but it still hurts to witness…

Almost immediately once they got onto the rink, Mike fell straight onto his butt. They shared a laugh and Will helped Mike get back up. 

For a split second, it looked like Mike's eyes had stars in them. As if there was a whole galaxy in there, that only Will could see. They were magical and impossible to look away from. However, not wanting to make it awkward and weird, Will looked away as soon as he realized he had been staring. Just because Mike is friendly, doesn't mean Will needs to be like that around him. Especially with El around.

He wanted to make sure tonight went smoothly. Will didn't want to be the person to ruin the week. It was his mission to make this week fun, for El. He wanted things to be as normal as they could be. That means not staring into his best friend's eyes. Normal people don't do that. Not any that Will knew, anyhow.

Notes:

Sorry I took so long to update. This month has been busy for me =/

Chapter 7: Different

Summary:

This chapter is in Mike's pov once he arrives at the airport.

Notes:

Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while! I lost motivation for a while but I recently started try to write more.
This chapter's writing style might be different to my past chapters since it's been a while.
Again, so sorry!
(I also can't promise that I'll be uploading consistently yet)

Mike's flight had finally landed in California. The airport was incredibly busy, it was as if everyone was arriving to see their childhood best friend. He could barely see where he was supposed to be going. Thankfully, his height came in handy.

So close to seeing Will… and El. He had to keep reminding himself that El was his girlfriend still.

When he was coming near where El told him to meet up, Mike saw El running straight for him. She immediately brings him into a hug, but Mike tries to keep it short. El handed some flowers that she picked to Mike, who thanked her with a smile. It doesn't feel the same anymore. Why is it different? Why does it feel… distant? But, then again, hadn't it always kind of felt that way? 

He notices how different El is now. Her hair has grown out, she got a little taller (shorter than Dustin, though), and her outfit is more like her personality. It's nice to see that she's her own person now. 

Maybe it should stay that way. Mike shook the thought away. His implications were wrong. So wrong. 

El tried to kiss Mike, but he turned his head to scan for Will. He wanted to see if Will had changed as much as El, or not at all. It would be amusing to see the height difference…

As soon as he spotted Will, it was like the rest of the world vanished. He looked like a portrait hung up in a museum. There was no way this could all be real. Finally, after months, Mike had seen his best friend. However, this was not how he imagined him. At that moment, Will looked like the sun as it rose in the morning. He had definitely grown over the past few months. Almost the same height as Mike, but he's still just a bit shorter. He still had that same haircut he's always had. That was nice to see, something familiar. Will looked so… mature.

Nothing could have prepared Mike for this, for the feeling in his chest that said, "It's him, he's the one. Always has been."

Will smiled at him, and the feelings got more intense. He tried to ignore their screams of joy, he can't ruin this.

He smiled back and hugged him as tight as he could, just like he always has. This hug didn't feel normal, though. It didn't feel like it had before, but it didn't feel like El's hug. Mike and Will's hug felt remarkable, as if there was something more to it. Something the both of them felt but couldn't explain.

I want this to last forever. 

"Will! I've missed you like crazy!" Mike said, remembering that Halloween in his basement. Crazy together. 

They were both smiling like a bunch of lunatics. 

"I missed you, too! Did my letter arrive on time?"

"Yep, it came the day before I left!" 

Mike and Will talked non-stop about everything that's happened. He noticed that Will kept pinching himself. Maybe this was a new stim of Will's. Either way, he didn't want to mention it in case it was personal. Maybe he could ask about it later when they were alone. 

That reminded him, whose room would he sleep in? He's never actually slept over with El before, and Joyce might not like the idea of them sleeping in the same room. Even though nothing would happen. So, he'll probably end up sleeping in Will's room, just like old times. In a bed… with Will. 

Suddenly, Will started frantically looking around for something, which brought Mike out of his train of thought. He said he forgot the painting. Who was the painting for?

Jonathan and Will were talking when Mike noticed that there was one extra person there. He had never seen this guy before; it must be one of Jonathan's new friends. Now that Mike had taken a look at Jonathan, he looked different, too. He looked like a stoner now. Definitely not the Jonathan Mike remembered. He must have taken the move pretty badly compared to the others…

At least he still seems like a good brother.

After Will said it could wait until they got home, they headed to the Roller Rink.

-

The Roller Rink was bigger than the arena back in Hawkins. Mike was surprised to see so many people, as well as how bright the place was. Not to mention the smell; sweaty feet flooded the room.

Now that Mike thought about it, he had never gone roller skating. Whenever his family went, he'd just go to the arcade. Hopefully, El or Will knew how. Otherwise, he might completely embarrass himself. 

Holding hands with Will. The thought made him shiver. It seemed like the only thing on his mind was Will. He should start thinking about how he's going to tell El. But, he really doesn't want to. Maybe he can just fake it? No, then he would end up like his father in a loveless marriage. El doesn't deserve that. But maybe I do.

"You look nervous, Mike. Is something wrong?" El asked.

Think of something quick! "It's just that…" He paused, "This is my first time roller skating," Mike chuckled.

Not completely a lie, but it's not the biggest thing he's worried about. 

El smiled, "It's okay! I can help you, I've been here hundreds of times with my friends." Mike noticed a slight twitch on Will's face. Is something wrong?

As Mike was staring at Will's face (again), Will commented that he would need socks while roller skating. So, El offered to get some, leaving Will and Mike alone. 

Maybe I should tell him about El. He might know what to do, he's always had good advice. 

"Hey… Mike, why did El look disappointed after you two hugged?" He interrupted the silence (and Mike's thoughts).

Shit. Is it that obvious? Do I suck at faking this?

"Oh, I didn't know she was upset…" That was almost a lie, he had kind of noticed. Though, he was a bit distracted after seeing Will for the first time. El completely slipped his mind for a good 15 minutes.

Will looked at Mike as if he was concerned. He couldn't tell if it was because he thought Mike was lying or something else.

Thankfully, El barged in before it got overwhelmingly awkward.

"Here you go! They were the only pair available," El laughed.

"Um, thanks?"

They were the most disgusting green in the world. It looked like they killed a leprechaun and used its blood as dye. 

I'd rather get blisters.

He could see Will try to hold in a laugh. To be honest, he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry about how horrible they were. Either way, he put them on but did it in the most dramatic way he could. In hopes of getting a real laugh out of Will. 

He missed the way they used to spend hours hanging out and laughing at the dumbest things. It was his favourite part of the day. He always knew how to brighten Mike's day. He hoped he made Will's day better, too. Maybe he had always been a bad friend. It got worse once Mike and El started dating because Mike tried to do what kids in movies did. Spend all their time with their girlfriend, kiss their girlfriend, and sneak around with their girlfriend. He always felt bad after ignoring Will. Mike thought that was what he was supposed to do.

However, he's now realized his and El's relationship could never be like the movies. Especially since Mike didn't feel the same way about El as she did about him. In all honesty, he felt much stronger feelings about Will.

I wish I was normal.

Mike was too busy thinking to notice that they had gotten onto the rink and fell straight on his butt. 

God, this is so embarrassing.

Mike looked up at Will and noticed he was laughing, like actually laughing. All it took was Mike's humility to make him laugh. Mike started to laugh, too. He had really missed this.

Once the laughter started to calm down, Mike looked up at Will again. He was hoping to sneak a peak at him laughing, but instead, he saw Will already staring at him.

The world was on pause, and the noise quieted. All he could hear was the beating of his own heart. And his heart was telling him things that only he might be able to understand. Thankfully, he was the only one who could hear it. 

Will's eyes were still just as capturing as he remembered. It was like he was stuck in a trance that he didn't want to ever escape. He would be fine staring at those eyes for the rest of time. Then he looked a bit further down to his lips. He noticed a slight shine to them. Like there was something pulling him to them.

His lips look so… soft. Mike blinked the thought away as Will extended his hand to help him up. His hands were so warm and delicate. Mike wished he could hold them til the end of the world.

After staring for a bit too long, Will quickly looked away. He's going to find out. Will is going to hate me. That must be why he looked away so fast. I bet if I told him, he would say I'm disgusting. Mike tended to overthink…

Why can't I be normal for once?

When they let go, he got really disappointed. Mike was hoping they could hold hands as they both tried to figure out how to skate. Unfortunately, that would get loads of stares from others skating and spectators.

I don't want to draw more attention than I already have with my outfit and falling flat on my ass.

This week can't get any worse than it is right now.

Right?