Chapter Text
Sirius is in the sitting room when he hears two sets of footsteps racing down the stairs and through the hall. He sighs to himself, knowing what’s coming. He hardens his face and stiffens his body in preparation.
“Sirius Orion Black! How many times do I have to tell you to fill out these goddamn papers?! I told you one too many times that this is your future whether you like it or not!” Walburga screeches, frantically waving crumpled-up naval papers in the air. Sirius looks around behind her to find his father, devoid of any emotion whilst his wife reprimands him. He’s about to respond when he sees what appears to be only a flicker in the curtain but is actually his younger brother slipping into the room’s dark back corner. Walburga follows his eyes and finds nothing but a blank wall. “Sirius? What are you doing staring at the wall? I’m talking to you! When I ask you a question, you respond!”
“And when I give you an answer, mother , I should expect you to stop asking me said question,” Sirius bites back.
Walburga storms over, throwing the papers on the floor, and promptly slaps Sirius across the face. Sirius’s head whips to the side as his cheek begins to sting. A small smile begins to form at the corner of his mouth. As he said, he knew what was coming.
“Do not talk to me like that! You spend your days out gallivanting in the town doing God knows what, when I told you weeks ago that this needed to be filled out!”
“And I told you! I’m. Not. Going.” Sirius stood up. Even three inches taller, Sirius still felt like his mother was looming over him, looking down at him with disgust.
“I don’t care what it is that you told me. You are not in charge of this house or this family. When I say you're going, I mean you’re fucking going,” She stands up straighter, inching closer and Sirius takes a step backward. “You are going into the Navy and you are going to finally do your family duty and bring honor to our sacred name! The Noble Most Ancient House of Black has been in power for centuries and you are not going to mess it up!” With each word, Walburga takes a step further and Sirius takes a step back until he feels his back pressed up against the unlit fireplace. “Well? Are you going to say anything or are you just going to stand there like a fucking idiot? I can’t believe I didn’t have another son to take-”
“You do. Don’t ever fucking say that you don’t have another son again,” Sirius fumes, casting a short glimpse over to the dark corner where Regulus is standing.
“Oh please, we’re not doing this right now. I’ve lost faith in ‘ him’ ,” she says, mockingly, “A long time ago. Now, are you going to fill out these papers or do I have to force you to do it myself? Hmm?” When Sirius doesn’t move, her eyes flick up above the fireplace where the Black family swords are hanging there. “Fine. I gave you the easy option. Now we’re doing things my way.” She reaches up above Sirius’ head and plucks one of the swords off the wall. Walburga takes a step back, extending her arm, and leveling the tip of the sword to Sirius's neck. In the corner of his eye, he can see the glint of the sword reflecting from the candle lit in the corner of the room.
“Really, Mother? What are you going to do, cut my throat? Then where does that leave this family? One son dead, the other one locked away, hidden from the masses because he cut his hair. And two old, shriveling, want-to-be important members of the British Royal Government, with no one next in line to fill your place. Now,” he tutted. “That hardly seems like appropriate Black family behavior. You need me alive, whether you like it or not. And , I’m not going to the Navy. Whether you like it or not.”
“Walburga-” His father’s voice cuts in.
“No, Orion. This boy will sign those papers or he will never get the chance to do another thing ever again. Now, Sign. The. Papers.”
Sirius feels the sword press deeper into his neck and a small nick, as a thin line of blood begins to drip down into his shirt. He knows that he has to choose his next words very carefully as his mother with a sword is not someone to mess around with. He could very well sign the papers and begin his life on the sea with the Royal Navy. He could even likely get a promotion early on in his career because of his name. He’d maybe even be able to pull some strings and get Regulus a position so he’s not locked in the house with them. They could live a life on the sea together, away from their parents and this godforsaken house. They could have some semblance of a life away from home, but… Well, but exactly. It’ll be boring. Sure they can have all the riches that the Navy can offer them, but Sirius would probably be stuck behind a desk, ordering people who don’t like him around, only going from island to island, if that. Maybe they’ll just put him in charge of some seaport town and that’s all he’ll be doing for the rest of his days. No doubt his mother would try to micromanage everything he does. No, Sirius wants something more. He wants an adventure. And he wants to get away from his family. He wants to take Regulus by the arm and the two of them can run away together, as brothers, and have adventures and go all over the world. As long as it means never going back to this house ever again. And so closes his eyes and takes his chance.
“No.”
When he opens his eyes, he’s surprised to see his mother smiling. It’s not a kind smile, no. Walburga wouldn’t know what a kind smile looks like even if it slapped her upside the head. No, this is a fearful, manic, don’t-fuck-with-me smile.
“ No ,” she echoes. “Okay then. I gave you your warning. Now you leave me no choice.” And she promptly removes the sword from his neck. For a brief moment, Sirius relaxes, thinking somehow he got out of it this time. Then he feels something cold and sharp puncture his stomach. What was he thinking? He’s never gotten out of it before. He has the scars to prove it. So this must be what they were all for. All of the beatings and the days without food, locked away in the attic. All of it leads up to this point, where his own mother, the person who is supposed to love him more than anything on this planet, drives a sword into his side. Sirius looks down to see the sword being removed from him, the sharp point dripping in blood. His blood. He begins to feel a little nauseous. He looks back at his mother, as she begins to walk away.
“Walburga, really. Was that absolutely necessary?” He distantly hears Orion's voice. Everything begins to fade. His vision gets less precise, blurring at the corners. Everything he hears seems muted somehow like he’s plugging his ears like he used to do as a kid when Mummy and Daddy were yelling at each other, while Regulus did the same with his head in his lap, quiet tears leaking onto Sirius.
“Oh please I barely nicked him he’ll be fine. Maybe this time he’ll learn his lesson.” Walburga exits the room, voice carrying down the hall. “Oh and Sirius, please do try to avoid getting blood on the rug. It was very expensive.” And just like that, she’s gone.
Sirius has no idea how this all escalated so fast. He was sitting on the chair, reading a book, and the next thing he knows he's lying on the floor, blood rapidly pooling out of him. How did he get here? Just this morning Regulus was teaching him how to paint, and now. Now. Now Sirius is dying. Really? Is he dying? Is that what’s happening right now? He had always thought it would hurt less than this. That somehow the actual act of dying would be much more graceful. He’d be old, and just go down for a quick nap, and wake up on the other side. Is there an “other side”? What’s going to happen to him after he’s done bleeding out on his mother's floor? Will God reach down his hand from the heavens and hoist him up into the clouds? What if he doesn't get to go to Heaven? What if he gets dragged down into Hell? Then he’d have to see his mother again. Damn. He really wants to avoid doing that.
Sirius’s mind continues to ramble when suddenly he’s hit with another moment of clarity. Regulus . Where did Regulus go? He was here, wasn’t he? Why isn’t he helping him? Of course the bastard wouldn’t help me. He was probably never even here. Stupid brain. Sirius thought to himself. Just when he feels his last grips of lucidity begin to slip away, he hears a voice.
“Sirius. Sirius, come on you have to wake up. Sirius! Let’s go!”
And suddenly his mind snaps back with alarming focus and he feels the sharp pain again as he feels something tightly wrap around his side.
“Ugh. Dammit. The old bitch really just stabbed me. Did she actually just try to kill me? She can get arrested for that, you know. Attempted murder on her son. Well, attempted as of now. Maybe in a few minutes, I really will be dead and then it’ll be actual murder. Charged with the second degree. Filicide, if you will. You’ll avenge me won’t you Reggie? Will you stab her back?” Sirius looks up at him with wide eyes.
“Will you just shut the fuck up for a second, Sirius? God, you were just stabbed. Now be quiet, I’ve packed us some bags. We have to go. Now . I’ve wrapped the wound with some old gauze I found in your room from-” he cuts off for a moment. From the other cuts and slashes , he silently fills in for him.
“Wait, we're leaving? Reg, I can’t move right now. You go. You go and you live and never come back here okay? I’ll be okay. Go now when you have the chance.”
“Oh stop being so dramatic, Sirius. You’ll be fine. Now let's go!” Regulus hauled him up, carrying two satchels strapped across his body like an x. He raises Sirius’ arm and puts it around his shoulder while he slips his own arm around his brother's waist, hand clamped over the stab wound to apply extra pressure. “The back door is unlocked, so we can go out that way. The docks aren’t too far from here okay? So we’ll just walk down there, quickly , and just hop aboard a boat. Not a Naval boat. They’d just turn us in.”
“Oh yeah, that’ll be easy. Just sneak onto a boat, not knowing whose it is or where it's going.” Sirius mutters as they exit through the back door. It makes a creaking noise and the two of them stop for a second. When no one comes they continue out of the house and down the street making their way to the docks. “You know there really are worse ways to go than out at sea. Better than bleeding out on the floor of the sitting room that's for sure. Hey, do you think that these people on the boat we’re going to board will wrap me up in a sheet and send me to the bottom of the ocean if I die? Because if they tell you that I’m not worth losing the sheet to, you tell them that I’m beautiful and my beauty needs to be preserved. Even in death. Okay, Reg? You have to tell them. I don’t want to get all bloated and gross looking. I need to be beautiful when I go to heaven so all the hot people will think that I, too, am hot. So that me and the hot people can have hot, hot dead ghost se-”
“Okay, really Sirius?! You just got stabbed and we’re running away from home with you bleeding all over the ground, and you’re talking a mile a minute about having dead ghost sex. This is not the time nor is it the place. I thought dying people were supposed to be quiet. But of course you want to listen to the sound of your own voice as you die so I don’t know what I expected.”
Sirius stopped in place and looked at his little brother, expression shifting from humorous, to something almost heartbreaking. “Reg? Do you really think I’m going to die?” He whispered. All traces of a smile wiped clean from his face.
“No. No Sirius. No, you’re not going to die. You’re going to be fine and we’re going to get to a boat and they’re gonna fix you up and we’re going to see the world. Right?” Regulus' eyes widen with an intensity that Sirius has never seen. He almost believed him.
“Yeah. Okay Reg. Let's go, yeah?” Sirius cocked his head towards the direction of the docks, which were now in sight. Regulus adjusted his grip on Sirius and the two of them continued down to the ships.
Finally down at the docks, they hid behind a stack of wooden boxes. People passed right by them, completely oblivious to the brothers covered in blood.
“Okay look right there,” Regulus pointed to a ship they had never seen before. Sirius could just barely make out the flag on the Admiral's Pennant. It appeared to be a dark blue, almost black with a black circle in the middle. Sirius squinted his eyes and saw that just around the rim of the black circle, was a thin white circle with a gleaming reflection stitched on.
“What a weird flag. What the hell do you think that is?”
“Oh never mind the flag, Sirius. I’ve never seen that ship before.”
“Okay, so?” Sirius shrugged his shoulders.
“ So, that means that whoever owns it probably doesn't know who we are, and everyone in Port Royal knows who we are. And it's the closest ship to us and, forgive me for saying so, but you’re looking kind of shit right now. So the faster we get help the better.” Sirius could feel his brother's arms tug him upwards and they made their way over to the bridge up to the ship.
Sirius knew that Regulus was right. He was losing blood faster than he was producing it, and he was feeling very faint as they made their ascent onto the ship. They make it onto the Main Deck and see the crew of the ship bustle around, getting ready to make their descent from the town. Everything suddenly catches up with Sirius as he looks around the deck. Sirius looks at Regulus and finds that Regulus is looking back at him, and Sirius promptly loses consciousness.
—
As a baby, Regulus missed the “first words” milestone, and at that, his parents immediately rebuffed him.
“She’s a girl and she can’t speak? Great.” His mother would say to his father. “We already have a useless troublesome son, and now this one is mentally slow? Just wonderful.”
Regulus could actually speak, he just chose not to, knowing already the kind of family he was birthed into. If he’s quiet, maybe he’ll get out unscathed. Regulus doesn't remember this because he was too young, but supposedly his first words were, ‘ Dammit Sirius,’ likely overheard by his mother yelling at Sirius for breaking a vase or drawing on the walls.
From that point on, Regulus’s most used phrase became ‘ Dammit Sirius’ .
“Dammit, Sirius! I told you to leave me alone” Regulus slams the door shut on Sirius.
“Dammit Sirius, you couldn’t have just left it, could you?” Regulus patches up a welt on his back.
“Dammit Sirius.” Regulus hugs his brother after he told Sirius that he wasn’t his sister anymore, tears welling up in his eyes.
And now, surprised by the sudden drop of his unconscious brother, he mutters again, “Dammit Sirius.” Regulus looks around frantically, wondering if anyone has noticed their presence. They all keep working quickly and quietly. Regulus feels the ship break away from the dock, creeping its way out into the sea. His plan was originally to sneak into the crew’s sleeping quarters and hide out there until they could find help, but now he was desperate. “Help! Someone help, my brother was stabbed!” He calls out frantically, and everyone stops moving.
Regulus hears a door creak open and the crew’s heads all turn towards the sound. Regulus follows their eyes and sees a tall man step out of the Captain’s Office. It’s dark so Regulus has a hard time getting a good look at this man until he steps closer to him. Regulus can see a few thick, pale scars across his face and down his neck, hair curling down just above his eyes. He, whom Regulus assumes is the captain of the ship, has a slender build that is easily seen underneath his clothes. He doesn’t appear to be much older than Regulus, maybe Sirius’s age. His dark trousers, ever so slightly too short for him, were covered in stains and patches from use. To cover up the space from his feet to his leg, are long thick socks and heavy boots. Underneath his vest is an off-white shirt that flows, almost magically, with the wind. Strung across his body is what appears to be a leather holster, carrying various different kinds of guns and swords. He has a few silver rings decorating his fingers on each hand, the most prominent one on his first finger with a large black jewel in the center. Around his neck is a long, thin silver chain. At the base is what Regulus would suppose is a compass of sorts, but it's closed and he can see the ornate decoration around the edges. In the center, he sees the initials R.J.L . The locket is well loved and is likely polished every day as Regulus can see his face staring back at him, like a mirror. His eyes continue upwards and make it back to the captain's face, just as his own eyes finish looking over Regulus. Regulus knows he can’t look very good right now, what with his dying brother collapsed in his arms and blood all over his shirt. They lock eyes for a few seconds, and without looking away, he calls out a name.
“Pandora!” A thin, pale girl with long blonde hair down to her waist comes up from the cabins down below a moment later. She appears to be just as tall as Regulus with wide bright blue eyes looking for why she was summoned. She trots over to where Regulus and the captain are and looks at Sirius.
“Oh!” She looks back up at the captain as if looking for confirmation. He nods his head ever so slightly and he turns back to Regulus and Sirius. “Right okay, well if you’ll just follow me down to the hospital I’ll fix him up in no time.” She starts walking away without checking if they’re following. Regulus hears her rambling on about this and that, but he’s not paying attention. Instead, Regulus is looking around, attempting to get his bearings as to where he is and what’s going on. He follows Pandora down to the cabin where he presumes the crew sleeps. Regulus is dodging cots and hammocks left and right, a few of which have people in them who are asleep. Almost missing it, Regulus’s eye catches a man with caramel skin and crooked glasses sleeping. He feels a slight, sharp tug in his stomach looking at him, and scoffs as he walks away. The idiot forgot to take off his glasses. Regulus fights the urge not to turn around and take them off for him, but he has a bigger problem at hand. Regulus’s arms start to burn with exhaustion as he’s been carrying Sirius because the prat had to get stabbed and can no longer walk for himself.
“Set him here, please. I’ll take a look.” Regulus gently sets him on a cot in the middle of the room. It's dark and cramped, with various chests on the floor open with tools that Regulus has no idea what their purpose is. “I’m Pandora, by the way.” She smiles up at him, briefly, and continues to work on Sirius.
“Regulus. And that’s my brother, Sirius.”
“Regulus and Sirius, lovely to meet you. He’ll be just fine. It doesn’t look like any major organ was impacted. I’m just going to clean his wound and stitch it up and he’ll be good as new!”
Regulus nodded and sat down at a chair next to the cot, staring at his brother. Of course Sirius would get them in this position. Stabbed, near death, on a ship with no one they know, going God knows where. These people could be pirates for all they know! Pirates, maybe, but Pandora was rapidly growing on Regulus. She seemed to be someone who always saw the good in people, and Regulus felt like he needed that. Maybe there was some good in him, deep down, that she could find and bring up to the surface.
Suddenly the door to the hospital opened and he saw the captain walk in, followed closely by a woman with blazing red hair dressed in a similar outfit, with an addition of a long dark coat and a similarly dark hat. The door closed and Regulus abruptly stood up.
“I-”
“No,” he was interrupted by the captain. “Sit back down.” His eyes flickered to the chair Regulus was sitting on. Slowly, Regulus sat back down. This was the first time he’d heard the captain speak. His voice was deep and had a certain raspiness to it. It was certainly commanding, a voice fit for a captain. The four of them exist in silence as Pandora finishes up her work with Sirius.
“He should wake soon,” she said softly and quietly left the room.
After a few awkward, agonizingly quiet minutes, Sirius began to stir.
—
Sirius could feel the remnants of his dream slip away. No , he wanted to say. It was so nice!
His eyes fluttered open and he saw Regulus’s face first.
“Reggie I just had the most bizarre, most amazing dream ever. I had a dog and his name was Padfoot and we were running and then an angel or someone came and-” he cut off, as Regulus looked away from Sirius. Sirius turned his head with his brother and saw two unfamiliar faces staring back at him. “Oh… Um, Hi?”
Everything that happened came rushing back to him, but he had other things on his mind. Sirius thought that this man was likely the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen. His amber eyes bored into Sirius’s steel-gray ones, mousy brown curly hair coming just below his eyebrows. He noticed pale scars across his face, and they made him look so, so cool .
“I- I’m Captain Remus Lupin. What are you doing on my ship?”
“Hi, Remus. Hello.” Sirius smiled up at Remus . His name is Remus Lupin . He heard Regulus clear his throat, prompting Sirius to answer the captain's question. “Oh! Yeah, I’m Sirius. Long story short my bitch of a mother stabbed me and I almost died but I guess I didn't, so. Yay?” He looked back to Regulus whose head fell dramatically in his hands.
“Our mother stabbed him so we ran away, to try to get away from her. I wanted us to get on a ship to get us out of this town. Yours was the first we found. We apologize for the intrusion.”
“Hmm,” Remus looked over to the red-haired woman and they looked at each other for a moment. She raised her eyebrow and he nodded his head. It seemed that they had a whole conversation without saying a single word. “Have you two got a last name?”
Sirius was about to answer when Regulus cuts in, “Not anymore.”
“Right. Well, our next stop isn’t for about a fortnight. We’ll reevaluate then. Until then, welcome aboard The Eclipse.”