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We were approached by a Romulan ship a few days ago. They were concerned about how close we were to the Neutral Zone, even threatened to cross the Federation Border to make sure we weren’t doing anything unsavory. We eventually got them to understand that we weren’t doing anything wrong, simply on a rescue mission for a planet near the border.
Everyone’s talking about it. I’m sitting in Ten-Forward and trying my best to block everything out. (I can’t.)
“Did you see how hostile they were?” I hear the Ensigns at the bar across from me talking about it. I want to hide.
“It was crazy! I never want to meet a Romulan in person.” One shudders.
“Do you think they’re born that way? Or is it a taught sort of thing?” The other asks.
“Must be born. Anything with that much hatred has to be natural.” Any…thing. I try not to let it get to me.
I’m not exactly proud to be a Romulan, but it’s…grating to hear all of the things that people say about my mother’s people. I wonder how they’d feel if they knew? I would be thrown out of the Federation, easily, but would any of them care?
Would any of them remember all of the times I’ve saved them? The things my mother did for Starfleet before she was killed? (In a Romulan attack no less! It’s quite obvious we’re not working with any of them.) Would anyone feel bad about turning me in? Getting rid of me?
All of the politeness and subordination I’m shown are because I have a perfect image. Sure, they see me as a Vulcan, but Vulcans are well respected. I can’t help but feel like everything is just a big coverup. Even Niall and Dev don’t know and Dev’s family! I’m never going to have anyone that I know is truthfully my friend. Or that they trust me, the real me. Even with my flaws and my background.
But, when Commander Snow walks in, I know I’m wrong.
He looks over at me, a wide grin on his face. He sits into the seat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. (We were going to keep us a secret, but when Chief Engineer Bunce and Lieutenant Love started publicly dating, we decided it didn’t matter.)
“Hi.” He says, his hand squeezing my shoulder. I give him a small smile.
“Hey.”
“I missed you on the bridge.” He leans into me so I can hear him over all of the ambient chatter.
“I’ve got night-watch.”
“Ah.” He gives my back a couple rubs. “I’m not scheduled for any shifts tomorrow or the day after. What about you?”
I groan. “Captain double shifted me. I’m going to be working morning shift right after night shift. Then, I think I’ll be able to, I don’t know, meet up in your quarters for lunch and a nap?” He smiles brightly at me again. (It feels like he’s always smiling with me.)
“I’d love to.” He gives my forehead a kiss. I lean into it.
We stay there, drinking and laughing until it’s time for my first shift. I kiss him goodbye as I leave.
____________________________________
I’m the highest ranking officer this night shift, so I’m going to be in command.
It always makes me a little giddy when I’m allowed to run the ship all by myself, even if it’s just the night shift. I like it. It gives me a sense of confidence, one I usually lack or fake.
I settle into the captain’s seat, but it doesn’t take long for me to be disturbed. Ensigns are talking again, about the Romulan encounter. One was on duty during it, and they’re having a field day telling their friend all about it. When I look closer, I realize that the friend who is eagerly listening in is none other than…Niall.
My own best friend.
I want to leave. I want to go to Simon. I want to take an escape pod and change my name and move to Romulus to cut all ties with the Federation. I want to scream. I want to yank him out of his chair at con and tell him just how much he’s hurting me but I can’t do any of that. I’m on duty.
“Commander Pitch.” The Lieutenant at tactical says, his voice gruff. “There’s a message coming in for you.”
“From who?” I ask.
“It doesn’t say. It’s coded priority one and personal.” I smile. Must be Simon.
“In the Observation Lounge.” I order, standing from my seat and heading into the lounge. Simon’s face shows up on the screen I’m facing towards. I smile. He’s in his pajamas, his messy quarters in the back. He looks like he just woke up.
“Baz…” He says.
“Simon.” I answer. “What’s going on? Do you need me? Private priority one is for ship’s business, is it not?”
“I know, I know. I didn’t know how else to reach out to you to get your attention.” I can see him twiddling his thumbs under the desk. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’d like me to bring you some food. You probably haven’t eaten in a while.”
I feel my stomach growl. “Please.” I say. “Meet me in the Observation Lounge.”
He smiles and terminates the communication. I lean back in my chair as I wait for him.
When he finally shows up, dressed up in his uniform, he sets my food down on the table in front of me, before sitting down beside me. He grabs one of my hands and gives me his pleading eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. I sigh.
“Is it really that obvious?”
“Well…” He looks away, then he looks back at me. “Baz, I’ve know you for years and I can read you better than I can read myself. I know your tells. Now, talk to me.”
I feel my shoulders deflate as I put my head in my hands. Simon’s hand goes up to my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. I lean into him gratefully.
“There’s been talk about the day the Romulans almost attacked the Watford.” He takes me into his arms, holding me close; his embrace safe and comforting. “There’s just been a lot that’s been said. And I don’t know…I feel terrible. I feel like I’m responsible, even when I’m not. I feel like I am the problem when I know I’m not.” The tears are coming before I can stop them. “And I even overhead Niall saying terrible things.”
I can feel when Simon shifts into his tactical position; the way his shoulders go rigid and his posture straightens out. He holds me closer. I know he feels attacked, especially because Niall is part of security. (I’m sure he feels partially responsible, even though he doesn’t need to.)
“Do I need to have a talk with him?” Simon asks. I shake my head.
“No, it would look weird if you did.” I sigh. “There’s nothing we can do, love. Nothing. Not until Federation and Romulan relations get better.”
“I want to help.” He says. I smile.
“Then stay, please.” His arms tighten around me.
“Okay.”
And he does.