Immunity Syndrom

by Between_stars_and_Nebula

Summary:

"Hello Spock", whispered Leonard with a teasing smile, "how do you feel this morning?" »
"I don't really know...", he replied with a frown, "but...what are you doing here?", then he added looking at his lover's pale face, "Jim looks sick..."
"I'm here to babysit", Bones replied dramatically

Notes:

Reminder: I am not English. I do my best to write in a language that is not mine. Please be lenient with errors.
Love you

Chapter 1

Jim leaned against the wall in front of Spock's quarters for a moment, to suppress his exhaustion. He felt weak, shaking, and a violent migraine throbbed in his temples. The last dose of stimulant injected by McCoy had allowed him to last the necessary time but it had not been without consequences, and while he would have liked to make his lover his absolute priority once his shift was over, he had simply succeeded to spend the last hour throwing up his guts clinging to the toilet in his private quarters.

When the nausea had receded to a reasonable distance he had taken a shower and rushed to the Vulcan's room.

He regretted his stubbornness a little as the dizziness made the hallway sway around him. If he collapsed now, he would only be adding another load on Spock's back and that was out of the question.

He sighed and shook his head, feeling ready to enter.

 

He knew instantly that his intuition had been correct and that he had done well to come. The room was plunged into a semi-darkness haloed in blue, there was an aura of contained suffering and the figure curled up next to the meditation stone had not moved an inch when he entered. It wouldn't have been alarming if his position didn't indicate an unusual emotional distress.

He approached cautiously and knelt before him:

 

"Spock", he called softly

 

The Vulcan jumped and lifted a haunted face to the captain in a violent struggle to regain control.

 

"Spock", he repeated as he locked his eyes with his lover's, "I am here my love. I am here "

 

Tears filled Spock's eyes and he shook his head, shivers beginning to ripple his shoulders as he swallowed hard to bury the sobs.

 

"I...I can't Jim...", he whispered in a voice so low and shaky the captain barely heard him.

"What can't you?", he encouraged him.

"I...can't...control myself...I..."

"So don't control yourself"

 

Jim spread his arms, inviting his lover to take refuge there without forcing contact. He was familiar with panic attacks and knew that touching could be a problem.

The first officer stood prostrate for a moment, looking completely bewildered, then he lunged forward, knocking Jim backwards in his tracks, both hands gripping the gold uniform tightly.

The distress that poured into the captain, already exhausted from the mission, nearly caused him to groan in pain. He bit his lip and calmed his breathing, hugging Spock to protect him from all the pain.

 

"I'm sorry...", sobbed the Vulcan in his chest, "I'm sorry..."

 

Suspecting that the apology wasn't just for his outburst, Jim tightened his grip and slowly stroked his back:

 

"Sorry about what my love?", he whispered tenderly

"They're all dead and...I gave up...I gave up...I almost lost you..."

 

The anguish in those words echoed everything the captain had been holding back since he had chosen Spock for the mission and he inhaled carefully not to let go.

Death didn't particularly worry Jim, provided he faced it. But he couldn't bear the thought of losing someone. Even less his close friends and... especially not Spock. His duty as commander, however, did not allow him to show favoritism and when the situation demanded it, he had to decide in cold blood. And even if he did his best, he couldn't always choose himself for the suicide missions.

Sending the Vulcan away, hearing his voice weaken and crack from the lack of oxygen, not knowing if he had survived or not... all this while keeping a good face in front of his crew, had been a terrible ordeal for his nerves. Not to mention tired...

 

Spock continued to sob as he muttered a feverish, agitated apology, his whole body constricted with gasps.

An intense nausea rose in Jim's throat and it took him a few seconds to realize that it wasn't his.

In a flash, he grabbed the wastebasket under the desk and straightened his lover just in time for him to spit a trickle of bile into the container.

 

"Spock...breathe," he breathed trying to follow his own advice, "you're with me now."

"I can't...I...I...", he trailed off, coughing, before he managed to resume, "I hear them...again...dying..."

 

Spasms cut him off again and he moaned as he coughed up more stomach acid. Jim, whose stomach was still very unstable, had to make disproportionate efforts not to let himself be overwhelmed by the discomfort. Spock was still clinging to him, gasping and moaning and it was terrifying to see him like this.

 

"Spock", he called again, as quietly as possible, "You have to breathe." These voices are not yours, let them go and come back to me. I'm here, I won't let you go, you risk nothing. It's alright now...it's alright"

 

The words slowly entered the Vulcan's panicked mind and finally, after several laborious minutes of sobbing and muffled screams, he managed to match his breath to his lover's, curling his head in his neck to inhale his scent. .

 

"I don't feel well...", he breathed, his voice weak and shaky but calmer.

"I can see that, my love", Jim smiled as he kissed him, "Come lie down, you need some rest. Can you stand up? »

"I think...", he replied unconvincedly, his face still streaked with tears and looking rather uncomfortable.

"Are you still feeling nauseous?", the captain asked cautiously, reaching out to pull the trash can closer.

 

But Spock shook his head, heaving a long sigh into the golden tunic:

 

"No...not nauseous but...exhausted..."

"All the more reason to put you to bed"

"I'm sorry...for being such a burden..."

"Don't talk nonsense", laughed Jim, "I'm happy to be here for you."

 

When the first officer was lying down, the man passed a cool cloth over his forehead and took his hand.

 

"I love you...so much", Spock sighed sleepily.

"Me too", he replied, pressing his lips to the burning forehead.

 

He stood there for a moment, watching his lover's breathing, the signs of fever and the pale face.

When he was sure he was completely and soundly asleep, Jim decided he had to tell Bones. The crisis that the Vulcan had just suffered was not insignificant and he wanted a medical opinion.

He could very well have called the doctor directly to his quarters, avoided moving when he himself was so fragile, but something urged him to go to the infirmary. Maybe, he thought a little guiltily, he wished he could get away, at least for a few minutes, from all that pain. To be able to breathe for a moment before facing the rest.

 

He shook his head, shaking off the unfair shame he felt and walked to the center to join McCoy.

Chapter 2

The infirmary was deserted, only the light behind the partition indicating that there must still be patients being examined. To his relief, Bones' office was also lit, a sign that the head doctor wasn't in the room with the others. Jim approached and hesitated for a moment on the threshold. His friend was sleeping, his chin resting on his hands. His eyes were red and dark circles, everything about his position showed weariness.

Not wanting to cause him any more trouble, the captain took a step back, ready to leave. But as if he had guessed his presence, Leonard groaned without opening his eyes:

 

"Stay Here Jim"

 

The captain couldn't help but smile:

 

"You impress me Bones, how did you know...?"

" I was waiting for you "

 

He rubbed his lids and fixed his bright blue eyes on the captain's:

 

" Ho are you doing ? »

"Oh, I'm not coming for me", he hastened to clarify, "Spock..."

"Jim", repeated the doctor firmly, "how are you?" »

 

The man wanted to brush the question aside again, not to dwell on himself, but to his dismay, the tears immediately welled up.

Bones sighed and went behind him to close the door.

He filled a cup of tea and walked back to Jim who, stunned at being so exposed, stood there silently, his eyes wide and unable to stop the large drops that were collecting in the corners of his eyes and sliding down his cheeks.

 

"Jim", he said kindly

"I...I was coming f-for Spock...", he tried in desperation.

"I know", the doctor said simply hugging him, "I know."

"For Spock...Bones...", moaned the man with a sob.

"Sh...hh...it's okay Jim »

 

He stops trying to fight. He no longer had the strength. He had been struggling with too many things since the beginning of this story, with too many terrors and demons. He let go of everything, the stress, the fatigue, the fear...everything...and responding to the doctor's embrace, he shed a stream of exhausted tears.

 

When the gasps subsided, Leonard sat him down and placed the steaming cup in his hands. He carefully examined the captain's livid complexion and sighed:

 

"Feel better? »

"Hmmm...yes...a lot...", Jim groaned, trying not to add: I'm sorry for being so pathetic.

 

Bones easily guessed the words and smiled:

 

"It's been a rough day hasn't it?" »

"Hmmm..."

"Jim, I'm sure you told Spock he had nothing to be ashamed of feeling bad. Why not apply these words to yourself? »

 

His friend's insight made the captain laugh:

 

"It's true... Stupid thing pride isn't it? But... and you Bones...? »

" Me ? Have you seen the color of my eyes? I've already cried my heart out, that's why Christine doesn't pick me up to take care of the patients with her...", then he added thoughtfully, "I should give her a medal for her patience. A day "

 

A cramp growled in the captain's lower stomach and he winced slightly, Leonard's attention immediately fell on him and he sat down next to him:

 

"Are you hurt somewhere?"

"No...not really...I don't know...I've been feeling a little uneasy for a while...I guess seeing Spock sick didn't help..."

"Spock has been sick?" »

"Yes... the panic attack was bad for him... he still has a fever that's why I came... at first... But he's sleeping peacefully now"

"Okay...I'll go see him. Jim, have you been sick too? »

"Yes...", he grimaced, "Before I go to see Spock..."

"Did you vomit?" »

" Bones... "

"Jim I'm not kidding! Why didn't you come to see me immediately? That's a sign of intoxication from the stimulant I gave you. It doesn't surprise me but I wish it didn't happen... Lay down! »

 

Jim sighed but didn't protest. He knew from experience that it wouldn't help. He lay down and closed his eyes, lulled by the sound of the tricorder and the muttering of the doctor:

 

" That is what I thought. You have a intoxicate. It's mild and it's easily treatable but you're going to have a few days of discomfort. How do you feel? »

"Not well, I'm sure I'll be sick this night but it's tolerable and I'd like to get back to Spock"

 

*

 

When the first officer opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised to find his beloved curled up on the bed, but he hadn't expected to see Doctor McCoy, quietly sitting beside them. He yawned, feeling oddly rested and completely exhausted at the same time.

 

"Hello Spock", whispered Leonard with a teasing smile, "how do you feel this morning?" »

"I don't really know...", he replied with a frown, "but...what are you doing here?", then he added looking at his lover's pale face, "Jim looks sick..."

"I'm here to babysit", Bones replied dramatically, "you had a violent fever last night that knocked you out completely and threw you into a delirious hellhole and like Jim is a fucking idiot who puts a point of honor to ignore all my recommendations and that he refused to leave you despite his own discomfort, I ended up setting up camp here to watch the two of you."

 

He pointed to the pile of blankets thrown next to the bed, indicating that he had slept near them, then seeing that Spock was trying to analyze the information, he said :

 

 

“He has stimulant intoxication. Therefore, he is in pretty bad shape."

"It's an euphemism...Bones", growled Jim's voice as he turned to snuggle into Spock, "how are you, love?" »

"I should be asking this question...", sighed the Vulcan.

"I'm fine", grumbled the captain, straightening up to check the time, "I just have a stomach ache, not a big deal »

 

He shrugged with a sigh and added :

 

"Besides, it's almost time to go on bridge. Are you ok Spock? Unfortunately, I must be present for the arrival of the Enterprise, the presentations and the first landings. But you're not, so rest if you need to."

"Jim...", Leonard tried to protest.

“Hush Bones, that's an order. If it's my health that worries you, I feel less dizzy than yesterday and I'm quite capable of standing up. Being in action is the best medicine."

"If you say so Doctor Kirk", the doctor replied irritably.

"Come on, don't get mad", Jim coaxed with a flirtatious smile, "it's not for long, three hours at most and I've got a month to rest afterwards."

 

McCoy crossed his arms and gritted his teeth with a strange expression on his face, which Spock deciphered as a warning. He understood why when Jim got up with a lithe jump and the little color he had left drained from his cheeks.

 

"Oh...uh..."

 

He staggered and the Vulcan caught him just before he fell, as Bones put an expert hand on the back of his neck, a half-cruel, half-worried smile on the corners of his lips:

 

"No more dizziness huh?", he says mockingly

"Uh..."

"Maybe you'll listen to me now", he continued, taking advantage of Jim's inability to answer him, "the symptoms of intoxication aren't just your weak stomach and dizziness, you're also prone to drops in blood pressure, tremors and headaches. It turns out, Captain, that you are currently in withdrawal."

 

The man glared at him. And Spock who had stayed away from the conversation so far; interjected softly before the tone rose:

 

"You should listen to the doctor, Jim, you are obviously in no condition. I know it's in the rules that it's the captain who supervises the arrival of his ship, but you're sick and no one will blame you for that »

"You...are no better...", stammered the captain, wiping the sweat from his temples with the back of his hand.

"I'm well. The doctor will be happy to examine me and confirm it. I managed to get over my discomfort and anyway, I'm much better at controlling the pain."

 

Jim flinched and Spock immediately realized he had slipped up but before he could soften his words, his lover pulled away from him:

 

"Do you call me incapable?"

"That's not what I said... "

"That's not what he said!", Confirmed McCoy, worried at the anger on the pale face.

"Shut up Bones!"

"Jim...", Spock tried.

"Last night is not an example of control, Mr Spock!", Jim spat

 

And this time, it was the science officer's face that lost color, deep pain flashing through his dark eyes. Jim immediately regretted his words but an unfair and violent irritation rose in his throat and made him tremble from head to foot. Despite the dizziness he got up.

 

"Alright, take control, do what you want. I don't want to see you anymore. Have a nice stay gentlemen"

 

And he disappeared before those friends could say anything.

Chapter 3

Jim Kirk was completely distraught. He stared at the white ceiling in the living room of the apartment he had been assigned for his off-duty stay on Starbase 6, counting the tiny paint cracks there to try to distract himself from his discomfort and the ball of sobbing that had been stuck in his throat since he had come ashore, forty-eight hours before.

McCoy had come by several times to give him medicine, give him injections, leave him instructions and tried to reassure him, but as Jim persisted in a cold, sulky and guilty silence, he had finally given up trying to relax things.

Jim suspected him of having set up his quarters nearby though, as the room was regularly cleaned while he slept, the blankets put around his shoulders when he didn't have the strength to pick them up, and he sometimes felt, as if in a dream, a cool compress pass over his sweaty forehead.

Spock hadn't come. No wonder when considering the way he had treated him before going down.

Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes along with a violent disappointment in himself. He was so impatiently waiting for this permission to finally be able to spend some time with his lover and now they were angry... and it was his fault.

 

He wouldn't feel so sick, he would have already gone to find the Vulcan to apologize but he couldn't get up without being seized with nausea and for the moment his only companions were the apple green bucket he had managed to drag to the couch and the electrolyte patches the doctor had left for him.

He gulped, trying to swallow both the tears and the bile but failed miserably and let out a muffled sob when he found himself, once again, hanging over the bucket. He had nothing to vomit but the water he was trying to drink so as not to leave his stomach empty, the unproductive contractions being much more painful.

 

"Spock...", he moaned almost unconsciously as distress seeped into his aching body and mind.

 

He must have been pathetic, alone, clutching a bucket, bile clinging to his chin and tears streaming down his cheeks, mingling with the sweat of fever but he didn't care. There was no one to see him and he was too tired to disgust himself with this attitude.

 

"T'hy'la..."

 

The voice landed like a dream along with a deliciously warm hand on the back of his neck and the comfort came over the captain with such force that he curled up on himself. If it was really a dream, he didn't want to wake up

 

"Spock...don't go...don't go..."

"Shh I stay here...sleep"

 

It didn't take much for the exhausted spirit to sink.

 

*

 

When he came to, Jim felt physically much better. Weak and dizzy but without nausea. On the other hand, he was still emotionally unstable and when he realized that he was alone in the apartment, that the warmth brought the day before had only been the fruit of delirium, something broke deep inside him and he began to tremble, clutching his chest to keep from crying like a child, despair obstructing his breathing and he felt like he was drowning. He pulled the blanket tighter against him to try to rid himself of the chill that was creeping into his muscles and focused his mind on the Enterprise, methodically naming each hallway, each room and their contents. His ship was the only element that allowed him to stay attached to this world. At this moment, he would have given anything to be on board, far from the earth and its torments.

 

But as he stood there, panting and sweating to regain control, he saw out of the corner of his eye, through his blurry vision, a figure fast approaching. He didn't recognize him until the familiar comfort of a hug lifted and enveloped him. He couldn't hold back the sobs that broke out:

 

"S...Spock...."

"It's me Jim, it's ok...I'm here..."

"I didn't mean...I'm sorry...I didn't mean...sorry...sorry..."

"T'hy'la, calm down. We'll talk about that later. It's okay, okay? »

 

He nodded weakly and closed his eyes. He had already cried so much that the tears stopped almost immediately, and for the second time he fell into a deep sleep.

 

*

 

This time Spock was close to him. He cautiously reached out to caress the pale cheeks and the eyes as red as his own. He smiled thinking that they were both far too sensitive. Perhaps because there was only together that they could lower the exhausting barrier of appearances. Let go of the rigid pressure to remain strong men in all circumstances...

Jim sighed. He felt dirty, the smell of sweat and sickness clinging resolutely to his nostrils, a shower wouldn't be too much. Sliding discreetly out of bed so as not to wake his lover who seemed to be in serious need of sleep, he staggered to the bathroom.

 

The hot spray instantly relaxed his aching limbs and he let out another very long sigh, savoring the feeling of breathing something other than grief or illness.

He had been underwater for ten minutes when Spock appeared behind the curtain. The Vulcan undressed in silence and slid close to Jim, taking him tenderly in his arms.

They said nothing for a long moment, strangely reassured by the other's naked body pressed against their skin.

 

"Spock...", Jim breathed, "Spock...I'm sorry...I should never have told you what I said, never...I'm so sorry my love..."

"I know", the warm voice whispered in response, "I too am sorry T'hy'la, I overreacted to you and didn't try to understand. I shouldn't have left you alone"

 

In spite of himself, new tears overflowed and Jim pressed himself a little more against the vulcan.

The latter smiled tenderly and put his lips against his neck, kissing him gently from the lobe of his ear to the birth of his collarbone.

Then very slowly, he slid his hand down the spine, stopping below the loins, tickling the pale skin to ask permission to go lower.

 

Jim shivered under the caresses, sighing in relief as he bent his head to capture his lover's mouth. They exchanged a long, languorous kiss, barely catching their breath before starting again, both of them suddenly trembling with desire and eager for contact.

 

*

 

Leonard heaved an exasperated sigh as he pulled out a chair near the bed where the captain lay, white as a ghost, his head in the lap of his guiltily first officer.

At least he had the decency to look embarrassed:

 

"Spock, that Jim is absolutely unreasonable doesn't surprise me, the reverse will worry me. But you ? »

"We got carried away doctor..."

"Listen, I'm glad you've reconciled, I'm very glad your libido isn't affected by the recent ordeals but fuck it! He is ill ! »

 

Spock didn't answer. Despite his efforts to remain impassive, he couldn't stop his embarrassment and he had to restrain himself from trying to justify the situation, to point out that they had only exchanged kisses and caresses. He knew very well that, in addition to McCoy's real concern, he was also taking advantage of the situation to tease him. He didn't want to give him satisfaction but it was complicated. Especially since the doctor had a very inappropriate intuition for guessing feelings.

 

Jim had passed out in the shower. He had fallen suddenly, without warning, suddenly burning with fever and shivering. Almost panicked by the weak pulse and the impossibility to make it react, Spock had called Bones without taking the time to get dressed. Also when the doctor had arrived, he had found a green vulcan still dripping with water, a bathrobe tight around his waist as he tried to warm Jim with a hot towel.

He didn't have to be a magician to guess what had happened and after put the panting captain in bed, he had turned to Spock and started yelling at him, half laughing, half sincerely angry

 

He was about to continue his sermon when Jim interrupted him with a sigh.

 

"Jim!", exclaimed the doctor, "You finally open your eyes... you're going to worry me to death one day you know... how do you feel?" »

"Um...", muttered the captain while yawning, "pretty good...I think"

 

He blinked and smiled at the two faces bent over him. With effort, he pulled his hands out from under the warmth of the quilt and placed them on those of his guardians:

 

"What would I do without you..."

"You'd be dead by now", Bones replied calmly with a shrug.

"Probably", Jim admitted with a laugh.

 

Then he sighed again, closing his eyes:

 

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" »

"It seems to me", Leonard began, glancing mischievously at the first officer's pale face, "that you made this clear to our dear Vulcan last night."

 

The captain didn't answer, but the thin smile that lit up his face showed that he appreciated the joke. He squeezed Spock's hand a little tighter.

 

"And I'll make it clear to him a hundred more times when I can get up"

"Jim...", stammered the poor Vulcan.

"I don't want to know anything!", exclaimed the doctor, pretending to stand up.

 

But the hand that held his did not let go:

 

"No...don't leave just yet...I feel...so...safe...with you two..."

 

Any desire to joke or get angry slipped from Bones' mind. He exchanged a look filled with tenderness with Spock.

Both sat at the same time on the edge of the bed, smiling.

 

"We won't leave. Never. Sleep Jim. Everything's fine"

 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 7 of Between Classic Episodes