Chapter Text
Mikey wasn’t the type to question things. Even when he didn’t understand the point of something, he trusted his brothers, so most of the time it was easier to just go along with what they told him.
With that said, he didn’t understand why Donnie wanted to stick a cotton swab in his mouth.
“You don’t understand, Mikey! With the new DNA analyzing kit I managed to snag from Stockman’s lab the last time we fought, I could learn so much about our unique biological makeup!” Donnie exclaimed, practically vibrating out of excitement.
Mikey just pouted. “What does that have to do with putting a stick in my mouth?”
“That’s how I get the DNA,” Donnie explained, buzzing with anticipation and perhaps a bit of annoyance now as well. “I already did the same to myself, and I’ll be asking Leo, Raph, and Sensei for a sample as well!”
Hearing that this wasn’t a test he alone was forced to undergo, Mikey shrugged and opened his mouth, bracing himself for the unpleasant feeling of a foreign object being stuck down his throat like the one time he’d been sick. Instead, it was rubbed against the inside of his right cheek for a few seconds before removed and placed in a test tube.
“Thanks, Mikey!” Donnie shouted, already speeding off to locate the rest of the lair’s occupants. Mikey blinked for a few seconds, surprised at how simple that had been, before deciding it didn’t matter much and flopping down on his bed, picking up the comic book he’d been reading before Donnie barged in excitedly.
If it made Donnie happy, Mikey didn’t have any complaints.
By the next morning, Mikey had essentially forgotten about Donnie’s actions the afternoon prior. While he was certain his scientifically minded brother would find something to be excited about over some icky mouth germs, it wasn’t exactly high on Mikey’s list of interests. What he was interested in, though, was making breakfast.
“And… voila!” he exclaimed as he masterfully flipped a pancake straight from the pan to Leo’s plate, repeating the action for Raph and Donnie before serving himself. “Gentlemen, I give you my not yet world famous banana mozzarella sausage pancakes!”
Expressions of varying degrees of wariness and disgust stared back at him, which he ignored, opting instead to sit down in front of his own plate and drizzle his breakfast in syrup before taking a large bite.
He sighed happily as the meal met his tastebuds. Yep, he nailed it again. Hesitantly but politely, Leo cut a slice from his own pancakes and brought it to his mouth, his expression morphing into one of confusion and then intrigue, before settling on something positive. Upon seeing Leo’s approval, Raph and Don took bites themselves, and Mikey was beaming when they both seemed to at least tolerate his latest creation.
“I have no idea how you made this work, Mikey, but it’s not half bad,” Leo admitted as they each continued munching away at the atypical breakfast.
Mikey grinned through a mouthful. “Hey, I have my secrets, bro!”
“Clearly those secrets don’t include swallowing before you talk,” Raph grumbled, but even he seemed to be in a good mood that morning. It was shaping up to be a good day, and when everyone had finished eating, they made their way to the dojo together.
Training went well. Mikey actually won a match against Donnie, which, while not unheard of, was definitely less common than Donnie winning against him. Mikey couldn’t hold back an enthusiastic cry of victory, pumping his fist in the air before helping Donnie to his feet. “Did’ya see that? I out-ninja’d you, bro!”
Donnie rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too confident, Mikey. You only won because I was distracted.”
“By what?” Leo asked as he accepted a high-three from Mikey, who was still feeling the adrenaline from his victory.
A long, high-pitched beep sounded from across the lair, in the direction of Donnie’s lab. His brown eyes went wide, and he turned around to face Master Splinter. “By that! Uh, sensei, may I be excused from the rest of training? My samples are ready to be analyzed!”
Splinter stroked his beard thoughtfully. “It is clear that your mind is not fully devoted to training today. You may be excused, but I expect your performance to be back to its normal standards by tomorrow.”
Donnie bowed, gave a quick “Hai, sensei!” and dashed out of the dojo.
“What was that all about?” Mikey asked, confused. It was rare for any of them to be excused from training, and the fact that Mikey had beat him was being attributed only to Donnie being distracted? He’d been training hard lately, ever since the farmhouse, and he’d put his all into the spar against Donnie. Was it so hard to believe that maybe he was getting better?
There was a hand on his shoulder, and Mikey was surprised to see it was Raph. “Don’t worry, little bro,” he was saying, “Donnie’s too focused on his science, but we saw how you won that fight.”
Mikey smiled gratefully.
“Michelangelo, Raphael, you will face each other next,” Master Splinter decided, and they took their stances across from each other, Mikey feeling confident.
He didn’t win, but he got close.
“Is Donnie still in his lab?” Mikey questioned as the rest of them headed into the pit to wind down from training around an hour later, noticing a lack of a purple bandana wearing turtle.
Leo shrugged. “I guess not. He was pretty excited about the DNA thing.”
Raph scoffed as he turned on Crognard, the brothers settling on the couch. “He’s always excited about some nerdy shit, why am I not surprised?”
Mikey let out an exaggerated gasp, placing a hand on his plastron and making the best offended look he could manage. “Raph, language! What if Ice Cream Kitty heard you!”
“I couldn’t give a fuck if she heard.”
“Raph! Her poor, innocent ears!”
“Maybe it’s good for her, she can’t stay sheltered forever, right?” Raph smirked, and Mikey playfully shoved at his arm, starting a play fight.
Leo just looked on with a shake of his head, probably letting them get it out of their system. Mikey knew his big brother would intervene if they took things too far or roughhoused too much and risked breaking something. They could get a little bit carried away, he admitted to himself as he and Raph wrestled on the ground, but that’s just how being brothers worked. At the end of the day, everyone would make up and they’d go back to being as close as ever.
Leo must have gotten sick of their fight at some point, though, because he stood up and announced he was making popcorn. “If either of you want some, you better be sitting nicely on the couch when I come back.”
That got the fight to stop pretty quickly, the two of them settling on the couch as the sound of kernels popping from the kitchen met their ears.
“Leo really thinks he’s in charge of us all the time, huh?” Raph said with a small huff, although he didn’t seem particularly upset. “We weren’t even hurting anything just now.”
Mikey shrugged, opening his mouth to respond, but whatever he’d been planning on saying evaporated from his mind immediately when Donnie walked in the room. “Hey, Dee, come watch Crognard with us! Leo’s making popcorn too, so… uh, is something wrong?”
Donnie had entered the room with his head hanging down, which should have been enough of a sign that something was up with him. When he met Mikey’s eyes, though, there was something… off. It was like a shadow had been cast over them. Mikey didn’t get long to tell what it was, because Donnie’s gaze quickly flitted away from Mikey’s after they met for only the briefest of moments, Donnie looking almost as if he’d flinched away.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Donnie insisted, but his tone was off. Too sharp, too guarded. “You said you’re watching Crognard?”
Mikey nodded and patted the cushion next to him. “Come join us!”
Donnie looked between the screen and the couch, his eyes refusing to fall on Mikey again. “Um, that’s okay. I’m going to go find sensei.”
And with that, Donnie left the room in the direction of sensei’s room.
Raph looked at Mikey, his brow creased in confusion. “That was weird, right?”
“What was weird?” Leo asked, holding a bowl of popcorn as he walked back over to his brothers.
Raph and Mikey exchanged a glance before explaining Donnie’s weird behavior, and how something seemed to be bothering him. Leo frowned, and the telltale signs of Leo Worry were visible in the way he crossed his arms and fidgeted with his hands.
“I’ll talk to him when he comes back if he still seems upset. Maybe talking to sensei is all he needs,” Leo told them, but Mikey doubted Donnie was getting away from this without at least having a brief talk with Leo. “Let’s just watch Crognard, okay?”
They each grabbed a handful of popcorn and turned their attention to the show. None of them seemed particularly invested anymore, but no one suggested finding something else to do.
Then a new thought crossed Mikey’s mind, and he broke the silence.
“What if he found something bad in his DNA test?”
“Bad? Like what?” Leo asked, and Mikey shrugged, but Raph’s face grew dark.
“Like a disease? Or maybe he found out that our expected lifespan is only, like, 20 years or something,” Raph mumbled, not taking his eyes off the screen.
“Maybe there’s something wrong with Master Splinter, which is why he went to talk to him?” Mikey suggested, trying not to let his voice shake at the thought. What were they going to do if there was something wrong with sensei?
“Stop,” Leo ordered in his leader voice, and Raph’s mouth snapped shut immediately. “Look, we don’t know what’s wrong with Donnie. Maybe he’s just upset because his experiment didn’t work, have we considered that?”
Mikey thought about it and nodded. That did make sense. He knew how much Donnie’s experiments meant to him, and how excited he’d been for this one. It would definitely upset him if it was messed up in some way.
But why had he been looking at Mikey like that? Or rather… not looking?
Maybe he thought Mikey had messed things up somehow? But that didn’t make sense either. If he thought that, he would have gotten mad at Mikey, not avoided him. Something about the situation wasn’t adding up, and it was because of Mikey, he was sure of it. Afterall, Donnie hadn’t avoided looking at Raph like that.
April and Casey arrived shortly after, although Mikey wasn’t entirely sure how long it had been since Donnie had left to speak with sensei. He’d been watching Crognard, but he hadn’t been truly processing the show, too concerned about the Donnie situation.
“We brought pizza!” Casey shouted, leaning the boxed on the back of the couch as the three present brothers stood up to greet their friends.
“Hi, guys,” April waved. “Where’s Donnie?”
“Talking with Master Splinter,” Leo said, but before he could get further, Donnie and their sensei walked into the room.
Donnie smiled. “Hey, April! And Casey. I heard you brought pizza?” He walked over and took a slice out of the top box, biting into it immediately.
It was fake.
Mikey couldn’t explain how he could tell, but Donnie’s smile was fake. His words were fake. His whole attitude was fake, and whatever was bothering him before was clearly still an issue. He was just trying to hide it now.
Everyone gathered in the kitchen, sitting and passing around slices as April and Casey shared about their days. It seemed like any other afternoon in the Hamato home, but Donnie still wouldn’t even look in Mikey’s direction.
When April mentioned something about biology, Leo’s eyes widened slightly and he looked over at Donnie. “That reminds me, Don, how did the DNA project go?”
Donnie immediately stiffened, but seemed to force himself to relax, shifting in his seat in a way that he tried to pretend was simply finding a more comfortable position, but was clearly an attempt to hide his discomfort.
“Ah, well, you see…”
“Did something go wrong?” Mikey asked, trying to make his words sound as sympathetic as possible. Clearly Donnie wasn’t having a good time, no matter what was going on, and maybe if Mikey made it clear that he’d be supported if something had gone wrong was what he needed in order to share what happened.
But Donnie shook his head. “Uh, no, actually th-the testing went perfectly! It was very informative, although I don’t know i-if any of you w-would think it’s interesting—”
“Cut the bullshit, Donnie,” Raph said sharply. “Which one of us is dying?”
Donnie’s eyes went wide. “What? No, no, nobody’s dying! Why did—what, why would you…?”
“Then what’s so messed up about those DNA samples, huh?” Raph demanded, volume rising. “Y’know, maybe we aren’t geniuses like you are, but we aren’t idiots! We know there’s something wrong that you’re not telling us!”
“N-nothing’s wrong!” Donnie insisted, voice rising to match Raph’s. “All of the samples suggested peak health, despite the fact that we’ve spent our whole lives in the sewers, which is actually quite remarkable when you think about—”
“Then what is wrong, Donnie?! If it’s not the DNA, what is it?!”
“I’m telling you, Raph, there’s nothing—”
“Oh, don’t give me that—”
“Why won’t you listen! Everything’s—”
“It’s me,” Mikey said softly, but the arguing continued over him, Leo, April and Casey not seeming to notice he’d said anything, let alone Raph or Donnie.
“You always do this shit! You act like you’re better—”
“Maybe there’s some things you don’t need to know! Have you ever considered—”
“GUYS!”
All eyes were suddenly on Mikey, his outburst startling the whole group. He didn’t want the attention now, the eyes on him seeming to burn into his skin.
Especially Donnie’s.
“It’s me, isn’t it?” he asked in a small voice, looking directly at Donnie. “There’s something wrong, or-or different, about me. Right?”
Donnie looked like he’d been slapped. He took a deep breath and looked around the table, frowning slightly when he saw April and Casey. “Um. April, Casey… thank you for the pizza, but I think this is a personal conversation between us…” He trailed off awkwardly, rubbing his left arm with his right hand.
April nodded and stood up, gently tugging Casey to his feet as well. “We’ll come back tomorrow, okay?”
“Sorry,” Donnie said, looking the most awkward Mikey had ever seen him, which was saying something, since most of his interactions with April were almost painful to watch. Everyone shifted awkwardly as the two humans left, and as soon as they were likely to be out of earshot, Donnie slumped forward.
There was ringing in Mikey’s ears. He didn’t know where it was coming from. All he knew was that he’d been right: something was wrong with him, something serious enough that Donnie didn’t think April and Casey needed to know. His heart felt like it was trying to push its way out of his plastron and his lungs felt like they were being squeezed. They were like water balloons filled too far, and the slightest bit of pressure could cause them to burst. He was still in the kitchen, seated at the table with his brothers, but everything felt a little bit fuzzy. Had he fallen asleep? Was he simply dreaming that he was here, waiting a million seconds for Donnie to speak again?
An arm was suddenly around his shell, the comforting weight bringing him back to his senses a little bit. Leo had slid his chair closer to him, although Mikey couldn’t remember when he’d done so.
He was glad that his big brother was there to comfort him.
“Alright, Donnie,” Leo said, his voice low, almost as if they were discussing something forbidden, something that shouldn’t be said aloud. “Now will you tell us what’s wrong?”
Donnie bit his lip and hesitated, but let out a sigh and began speaking slowly. “There’s nothing wrong, per se. No one’s sick or… or dying, everyone’s perfectly healthy, and I expect us all to stay that way.”
“You already said—” Raph tried to say, but Leo held up a hand, cutting him off.
“Go on, Donnie,” Leo encouraged.
Donnie took a deep breath before he continued. “I was mostly hoping to find any potential health risks in our DNA by studying in it, although I must admit that a part of me was simply excited for the fun of it… Uh, the thing is, there was something I found out that…” He paused, seeming to collect his thoughts. “Honestly, it shouldn’t mean anything. It isn’t something that impacts any of our lives, it’s just…” He looked between Raph and Leo, then let his gaze fall to Mikey, before returning to the elder two. “Before we were mutated, not all of us were related. Bio-biologically, I mean. Leo and Raph, the two of you must have come from the same pair of turtles. Mikey and I… we both had different turtle parents.
“That’s not all,” he continued when Raph opened his mouth again, seemingly prepared to cut Donnie off again. “When we were—I mean, well… when anyone or anything is mutated, the mutagen locks onto the DNA of the last living being that the mutated organism came into contact with. For example, April’s dad had been swatting at bats before he was mutated, erm, the first time.” He paused again, taking another deep breath. “I had assumed… reasonably, I would say, that the four of us all obtained our human DNA from Master Splinter. A-and that’s—that’s almost true, but—”
“But I’m different?” Mikey asked, whispered, really. It felt like the water balloons that had replaced his lungs had finally burst, icy water flooding his insides.
Donnie just gave a small nod.
“How, though? Where would it have come from?” Leo was saying, but Mikey wasn’t really listening. It was hard to hear over the rushing water in his ears.
“I’m not certain, but if I had to theorize, it was likely a pet store employee, or perhaps another customer…”
“Why only Mikey, though?”
“I’m not sure, Raph, although it’s possible…”
The words faded away as his brothers—no, wait, they weren’t brothers, were they? —continued speaking around him. He needed… he needed… he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that the cold water inside him felt bad, felt wrong, he needed to do something.
He was standing before he realized he had even moved at all, breathing heavily and leaning against the table, palms flat on the slightly messy surface, lightly coated in crumbs and pizza grease.
“Mikey?” Leo asked gently, and he turned to face his older—no, not brother—the… elder turtle. “Are you okay?”
He blinked a couple of times. Why was he being asked that…? “Uh, yeah, I’m fine! Ha ha, I just got a little bit dizzy!” He pleaded for them to accept it, not to interrogate him. He couldn’t handle that right now…
“Mikey,” Donnie spoke up, “You know this doesn’t change anything, right? The DNA results don’t mean that you’re not still our brother.”
Then why couldn’t Donnie meet his eye earlier? Instead of voicing that thought out loud, he plastered a smile on his face. “Don’t worry, Dee, I know! Jeez, and you had us all worried that you were gonna announce that we were all gonna die tomorrow or something. Psh.”
His brothers exchanged a look that he didn’t know how to decipher, and then Leo’s hand was on his shoulder. “Look, Mikey…”
He casually shrugged the hand off. “No need to worry, bro! I think I’m gonna go read some comics, though.” He picked up his plate, which still had two slices of pizza. Technically, food wasn’t allowed in their rooms, but that rule had never been enforced as much as it probably should have, and none of his broth—the others made any move to prevent him from doing so.
As soon as he was out of sight, he let the smile drop, his shoulders sagging. He honestly had no idea how he felt. It was as if the freezing water that had been inside of him had warmed up to a neutral temperature, but was still sloshing around, making him feel unbalanced.
Before he was out of earshot, he caught a comment from Leo that clearly hadn’t been meant for his ears. “Give him some time,” the leader’s tone carried out from the kitchen. “He probably needs time to process things, and then he’ll be himself again.”
He didn’t wait to hear what Donnie or Raph might have to say to that. He didn’t want to know. He couldn’t face it, not now. So he rushed to his room and closed the door quickly, abandoning his plate on a shelf before collapsing on his bed.
He didn’t feel like reading comics. He probably wouldn’t be able to, anyway, with the tears blurring his vision.
The next few days passed normally, for the most part. Mikey pretended like he wasn’t more aware of every mistake he made during training, how he couldn’t keep up with the other three, and it seemed his supposed improvements lately had just been a fluke. He pretended that he didn’t notice the looks his brothers the other turtles would send his way when they thought he wasn’t paying attention, how their eyes were full of concern even when their mouths were pulled into unwavering smiles. He pretended it didn’t sting a little more than usual when they were scouting out a new Kraang facility and Mikey was told no less than four times to not touch anything.
Everything was normal. Everything was fine.
And Mikey wasn’t going to do anything to give his—the family any reason to decide he wasn’t worth the effort anymore.
So, he smiled during the day, doing his best to not act any different from before. And if he’d toned down the pranks immensely, or not fought for the last slice of pizza, or gave up TV privileges to the others more easily, what did it matter? He needed to be less annoying anyway.
And if he went to bed earlier than normal, no one had to know that it was because he couldn’t handle being around the rest of them any longer, couldn’t keep up his act. His nights were spent restlessly, his mind plagued with worries about what he would do when everyone got sick of him and he could no longer call the lair his home.
The Mutanimals would likely let him stay for a few nights, but he couldn’t ask them to house him permanently. April would also let him stay temporarily, but staying in a human apartment for a longer amount of time would be too dangerous. Casey wasn’t an option; Mikey knew his home life wasn’t good to begin with, and doubted his dad would be accepting of a giant talking turtle asking to crash there for a while.
He could always hide away at the farmhouse, but he had no way of getting there on his own. Plus, if any of the others decided to visit, they’d find him. That wasn’t an option.
He decided that the best course of action would be to find a suitable part of the sewers on the opposite side of the city to hide in. That way he’d be out of his the brother’s shells, but would be close enough that he didn’t have to worry about moving his stuff too far.
If they let him take it with him.
He rolled over and pulled his blankets tighter around himself, begging his body to finally give in and pull him into unconsciousness. It was almost 9 am; they were expected to be up at noon due to their mostly nocturnal lifestyle. He needed the three hours of sleep he could still potentially get, but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen.
Groaning, he pushed himself out of bed and let the blankets fall in a messy pile on the mattress. Maybe getting some water would help his mind calm down enough to sleep.
Of course, it wasn’t that simple.
Donnie was in the kitchen, facing the wall where the coffee maker was positioned on the countertop. He turned around, mug in hand, and proceeded to spill it all over himself when he jumped at the sight of Mikey, clearly not expecting anyone else this late at night.
“Mikey!” he shouted, and then hissed, dropping the mug and shaking his burned hand. They both winced when the mug shattered as it hit the ground, and Donnie jumped back, trying to avoid the broken shards of ceramic that now littered the ground.
No, no, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen. This was bad. This was so bad!
He knew he should be checking on Donnie to make sure he wasn’t badly hurt, but Mikey felt like he couldn’t breathe. He ran from the room, trying to remember how to make his plastron rise and fall as he took in air, suffocating on nothing. He stumbled back to his bedroom and collapsed on the mattress, fumbling with the messy blankets he’d only just abandoned until they were wrapped tight around himself and pulled over his head.
His whole body was shaking as he sobbed, tears wetting the blankets and his pillows as he pulled his limbs into his shell, wanting to disappear. He’d gotten Donnie hurt and caused him to break a mug. If they hadn’t already decided to get rid of him, this was sure to seal his fate.
It couldn’t happen so soon, though! It had only been four days since they’d all learned the truth, he hadn’t had enough time to prepare! He wasn’t ready to lose the only family he’d ever known, to say goodbye to the people who he’d loved with all his heart, and had loved him in return.
The tears fell harder, his eyes stinging, the sobs growing uncontrollable, and he wailed.
“Mikey? Mikey?” He barely registered a voice as he pulled his head into his shell as well, not wanting to face whoever it was, not ready to lose everything. If he hid, maybe he could keep his life a little bit longer, maybe he could pretend it wasn’t all falling apart.
There was a pressure on his carapace, and he shuddered, unable to flinch away from the contact. It began rubbing small circles into his back, and the same voice spoke again. “Mikey, I’m okay. I wasn’t badly burned, and I didn’t get hurt by the mug,” came Donnie’s voice, but surely that wasn’t right. Where was the anger?
Donnie wouldn’t get mad at you for spooking him, a voice said, and he was tempted to believe it, but that was before Donnie knew the truth.
And Donnie was a scientist. If any of them were going to reject Mikey first, it made sense that it would be him.
So why was he here, rubbing Mikey’s shell in that comforting yet awkward way, with just a little bit of hesitancy that Mikey wasn’t sure Donnie noticed in his own motions? Donnie wasn’t good at comfort—although he was better than Raph—but when he tried to offer it, this was how it always went. Those uncertain motions, the calm statement of facts.
He managed to slow his sobbing to a controllable degree and poked his head back out of his shell, still wary that he’d been deceived somehow… but Donnie wouldn’t do that, would he? Donnie was a lot of things, but cruel was not one of them.
And he wanted to make sure Donnie really was okay.
His big brother the older turtle’s eyes lit up almost imperceptibly when Mikey looked up at him, and the first genuine smile Mikey had seen from any of them since they found out the truth appeared on Donnie’s face, even if it was small.
“I’m okay, see?” Donnie repeated, then held out his arm for Mikey to examine. He pulled one of his own arms out of his shell to carefully observe Donnie’s hand, which seemed slightly swelled and irritated, but far from the worst injury any of them had ever received. “It’s first-degree. I’ve gotten burned worse working on Metalhead,” Donnie assured him, and gently patted Mikey on his head as his tears were finally slowing and his lungs learned how to function once more.
“Sorry,” Mikey said in a small voice, wincing as he braced for Donnie’s next words.
“Mikey, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just startled because no one else is usually awake around this time.” Donnie frowned as he seemed to remember something. “Speaking of that, is there a reason why you got up?”
Mikey didn’t want to admit the truth, didn’t want anyone knowing about his fears and his plans.
Why not? A voice in his head asked, and he didn’t have an answer for it.
“Had a bad dream,” he mumbled instead, looking away from Donnie as he eased the rest of his limbs back out of his shell.
Donnie gave him a look of sympathy. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Mikey shook his head.
“Was… was it about the DNA thing? Because if so—”
“I’m tired,” Mikey cut him off, not wanting him to continue whatever he was going to say. “I wanna try to get a little bit of sleep before training tomorrow.”
Donnie looked dissatisfied, but Mikey couldn’t bring himself to care when Donnie dropped the subject and stood up from where he had sat on the edge of Mikey’s bed. “Alright… but you can talk to me, okay?”
Mikey answered with a half-nod, half-shrug before shifting his blankets so they were more comfortable and placed his head on his pillow. He really was exhausted, and he felt his eyes closing heavily, feeling sticky from the now drying tears on his face.
He heard Donnie move towards his door, but the elder turtle paused before leaving. After a few seconds, Mikey was about to open his eyes and ask if Donnie needed anything, but the other turtle spoke up before he had a chance, his voice soft. “Love you, Mikey.”
Then he was alone in his room again, and he let himself be pulled into the darkness of sleep.