total eclipse of the shack

by garygluejeans

Summary:

Wirt and Sara have just moved cross country and find themselves in the seemingly sleepiest town in the Pacific Northwest. Wirt's students bully him into visiting their town's marvel, and he has absolutely no idea what to expect.

Dipper worked his ass off just to get to fuck around as the Mad Scientist of the Mystery Shack. needless to say, he finds a reason to leave the house.

Chapter 1

Wirt squinted from under the shield of his hand, the early September sun glaring in his eyes. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Sara laughed, linking her arm around Wirt’s and trudging forward. “Oh, come on!” she chided her friend, rolling her eyes at his groaning. “You’ll love it. You said yourself you wanted to see more of the town, this is the perfect place!”

Wirt slipped his arm out of Sara’s grasp to cross it over his chest. He did want to see more of this town, especially since they were finally settled. They had moved out to the West Coast just two months earlier, aiming for a place, preferably far from home, with a school district that would hire someone with a gap in Wirt’s resume. After finally finding something, Sara and Wirt, best friends and inseparable since high school, landed in the seemingly sleepiest town in the Pacific Northwest and were still trying to get their bearings.

“What is the Mystery Shack?” Wirt read incredulously off a bumper sticker on a battered pickup truck in the parking lot, shaking his head at Sara’s chuckling. “What does that even mean?”

“Dude, I seriously cannot wait to find out. I’m obsessed with how hokey this is.” Wirt scanned the signs as Sara bought their tickets for what was advertised as “a tour through the strange and unknown”. He shuddered, choosing to ignore the word choice, and moved to eye the crowd forming, mostly obvious tourists. He didn’t see any cars or faces he recognized and breathed out a sigh of relief. Even though school just began, his students had been pressuring him to visit their hometown’s marvel, though he refused to entertain them.

Wirt had only brushed off their comments, repeating them to Sara when he got home, hoping for a laugh. But even worse, his roommate had lit up like a Christmas tree and insisted that they had to go. And now, on one of Wirt’s precious weekends, here they were: waiting to go inside a rickety wooden house that boasted a stone figure of some guy in a fez. He had really screwed this one up.

“Seekers of the weird…Welcome!” A big man in a sharp suit stepped out from behind a curtain with a flourish, throwing his walking stick up into the air and catching it seamlessly. “You know me as Mr. Mystery, and I am proud to show you inside my wondrous shack!” His smile faltered as a camera flash went off, and he leaned in politely to say, “Oh, no flash photography, my dude. Might reveal something you don’t wanna see!”

They found themselves in a garish display of countless filled jars and display cases. Sara and Wirt were unable to control their laughter, even though the other group members were in amazement. At one point, Mr. Mystery showed off what seemed to be a completely ordinary pig, affectionately referring to it as “Waddles”, and held up a jar for people to pay to get their picture taken with it. Sara bit the inside of her cheek as Wirt gaped in awe at the quickly forming line. “I… I don’t understand,” he mumbled. “It’s literally a pig? What am I missing here?” Sara cackled. “I have no idea.”

At the end of the tour, the group was led to the door of the gift shop. “Thank you all for joining us today, it’s folks like you that keep the Mystery Shack running! And if you dudes want to help us out even more, consider our mysterious merchandise!” He opened the door and held his hand out for a high five from a little kid passing through the line. “We put the fun in no refunds!”

“Wow, what a waste of twenty dollars,” Sara said lightly as she breezed through the door to the gift shop. Wirt’s eyes widened as he followed her. “Wait, twenty bucks? Was that total or each?!” Sara only laughed. “Whatever. We have to get you something kitschy to prove you were here and get your kids off your back.”

They wandered into the gift shop, snickering at the sea of snowglobes and bobbleheads before them. Sara turned to a rack of shirts before a crash sounded behind them and Wirt jumped in fear. “Dude, serious- woah!” Sara exclaimed as she turned around to see something somehow both feathery and covered in tentacles climbing up the windowsill. “What the hell is that?”

A thwack sounded against the wall and the creature screeched and fell to the ground, cowering in fear. Tourists murmured and shrank back in apprehension, only for the cashier to pick up a bucket from under the desk and slap it over the creature. She pounded her fist on the wall and stretched out her back leg to keep her foot over the bucket, which was beginning to wriggle around. “It’s up here!”

There was a muffled clattering sound from behind the wall and the sound of footsteps coming upstairs. Wirt watched as the vending machine up against the wall swung open like a door and the hottest man he had ever seen nearly fell through.

“What the hell?” Sara began to mutter. She nudged Wirt’s arm and noticed that he was frozen in place. “Oh my god, are you kidding?”

The man rushed to slide a piece of metal under the bucket, trapping the creature inside. “Thanks, Melody! This hawktopus is the worst, it keeps getting away from me.” The man stood up with the makeshift trap and started back down the stairs, calling behind him, “Sorry folks! Never mind all that!”

There was a brief moment of silence before the shop regained its exact level of chatter as if nothing had happened. Wirt blinked as Sara shook herself off and went back to looking through a rack of t-shirts. “Hey, what do you think of this?”

Wirt looked at his friend in astonishment. “Wait, we’re not gonna talk about that?”

Sara looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do you mean’?” Wirt whisper-screamed. “There was just some kind of murderous hell-born hybrid in here and you wanna know what I think of a t-shirt with a puma on it?”

“Okay, first of all, this is obviously a panther,” Sara mediated. “And second, that was obviously not real. We’re literally in a tourist trap full of fake shit. You good?”

Wirt huffed, cheeks flushing from embarrassment as he reached for a snow globe off the shelf. “That thing looked real.”

“Awww,” Sara cooed. “Don’t worry, I won’t let the big bad hawktopus get you.” She turned back to the shirts, mumbling under her breath. “Man, even I could have come up with a better name than that.”

Wirt let his gaze travel back to the vending machine, safely back up against the wall with no trace of the man behind it. “Where did that guy even come from?”

Sara fell against Wirt’s chest and pretended to swoon. “I know, right? Babe alert!” Wirt immediately pushed her upright. “Okay, that’s enough of that.”

Sara snickered, turning to poke her friend’s shoulder. “Enough of how you froze up at that guy? Don’t think I didn’t notice!” She grinned as Wirt stuck his tongue out at her as they walked to the register to pay. “But seriously, he should be Mr. Mystery because I have no clue what’s going on down there.”

“Who, Dipper?” The cashier looked up from checking out the snowglobe to eye them curiously. “You guys must be really new in town.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Wirt stuttered, allowing Sara to take over.

“We’ve only been here a few months and kept hearing about this place.” Sara nudged Wirt’s shoulder but met the cashier’s gaze, recalling her name from before. “Melody, right? Tell us about it.”

“Well, I wasn’t here when it happened, and the town doesn’t talk about it much- like, seriously, don’t ask the locals,” Melody said. “But twelve years ago, there was some big disaster. The family who owned the Mystery Shack, including Dipper, saved the town. These days, he’s down in his lab or up here helping us out.” She looked up to hand Wirt his change. “He’s a good guy. I’m sure you’ll see him around.”

“I- I mean, uh”, Wirt stuttered before Sara cut in. “We sure hope so! You have a wonderful day.” She tipped an imaginary cap toward Melody and turned to lead a thoroughly wordless Wirt out of the shack.

It wasn’t until they were in the car that Sara addressed Wirt. “What was that?” Wirt laughed shakily, raising his hands to the roof of the car.

“What was that?” he laughed louder. “That was insane! I have literally no idea what just happened or what to do with the information I just learned. That is the stupidest place on earth."

Sara smiled, starting the car. “Not so stupid, after all. I mean, at least it’s got a hot guy in it.” She flashed a glance at Wirt before pulling out of the parking lot. “We gotta get you back here to talk to him.”

“Oh no,” Wirt cut her off. “There is no way in hell I’m coming back here. Especially not for some… I don’t know, mad scientist?”

“Oh my god,” Sara laughed. “He totally is a mad scientist. You should ask him out. A mad scientist would be perfect for you.”

Wirt glared at her as she waggled her eyebrows, staring daggers into the side of her face. “I will seriously kill you.”

Sara only laughed at him. “You will do no such thing.”

They cruised through town, making fun of the ridiculous attractions the Mystery Shack boasted until they reached their apartment building.

Sara looked at Wirt as she stopped the car. “You know I’m right, by the way. About the mad scientist.”

Wirt avoided her eye, fiddling with his seatbelt. “No way,” he mumbled.

“Pfft, you know I’m right,” Sara told him. “I’m always right. You need variety, you need a reason to get out. More importantly, you need to get laid.”

“I can’t stand you,” Wirt groaned, moving to open his door. Sara only flicked on the child lock in response, her cackling drowning out Wirt’s despair.

—

Dipper leaned over to slam a hand over his screaming alarm clock, opening his eyes to peer up at the rafters of the attic. It had come something of a long way since his first summer here, boasting a queen-sized bed instead of two twins, along with a computer set-up in the corner and walls covered in paper-filled bulletin boards. He groaned at the sun shining through the window and rolled over to check his phone. Some email from his college asking for money, some text from Soos about them being out of eggs. He sat up in bed to look out the window, finding the first tour group of the day lining up outside the doors to the museum. "Must be later than I thought,” he mumbled.

Dipper grabbed his hat and snuck out the door as stealthily as he could. He was usually more than happy to greet tourists, but he had other things on his mind. He needed to submit reports on his research, but he had hit a wall in his investigations. Still unable to fulfill Ford’s mission of finding the source of weirdness in Gravity Falls, he had instead devoted himself to further studies of its ecosystem and had even stooped so low as to find creatures he had remembered reading about in Ford’s journals. His own journals lined shelves in the basement lab, but these days he wondered what else there even was to find.

Lost in thought, Dipper ambled through the grocery store, hardly even paying attention to what he was grabbing. It wasn’t until he found himself at the register with the eggs Soos had requested alongside salt and vinegar chips, antifreeze, and a 24-pack of beer that he realized how lost in thought he had been.

He froze before setting his items on the belt to pay, resigning himself to his randomized purchase, until he heard a snicker from behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see a dark-haired woman laughing at him. She noticed and gestured to his cart. “Big night?”

Dipper, startled for a moment, laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “This is what fate has put in my cart. We’ll see where we go from here.”

“Hey, you’re that guy from the Mystery Shack!” she exclaimed.

Dipper smiled good-naturedly, waving a hand. “That’s me. Name’s Dipper. What’d you think of the Shack?”

“Sara,” the woman grinned. “Quite a place you got. I was just there with my roommate this weekend, we’re new in town and heard a lot about it. We loved it.”

Dipper’s chest fluttered with pride. The Mystery Shack had come a long way since he had first stepped foot in it, still more fake paranormal than real, but he was getting there. “Hey, thank-”

“I mean, it was pretty hokey, but I guess you guys know that,” Sara rambled, cutting him off. “We had a good time. And there was that extra thing in the gift shop, that was fun.”

Dipper chuckled, a little embarrassed by his escaped subject. “Yeah, sorry about that. The cryptids always get away from me. Especially the hawktopus, it’s pretty slippery.”

Sara raised an eyebrow, tickled by his response. “Love the commitment, bro. Really.”

Dipper blinked at her before realizing just how new in town she was. “Oh, ha. Right… commitment.” Sara kept talking, oblivious to Dipper’s surprise. “You really got my friend, though. He was freaked out, still thinks it was real.”

Dipper smiled, a little jealous, as he often was, of people who came into Gravity Falls totally blind. “Well hey, I got plenty more stuff that will freak out you and your friend. Come over sometime, I’d be happy to show you the real attractions.”

Sara grinned. “Awesome! Wirt’s a teacher, so it’d have to be a weekend. Wanna say Saturday?”

Dipper grinned, gathering his groceries. “Sounds great!”

"We’ll be there,” Sara promised, smirking a little. “By the way, you might wanna get some more eggs.”

Dipper looked down to see egg yolk seeping through the bottom of his paper grocery bag, not having realized he had piled everything else on top of them. He nodded awkwardly at Sara and heard her laughing as he went back into the store. This will be perfect, he thought to himself, optimistic in spite of the raw eggs dripping onto his shoes. Nothing like paranormal unbelievers to get his interest in his research flowing again.

Notes:

This is the first fic I've ever published, I was obsessed with this ship years ago and a recent gravity falls rewatch made me want to write it. Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 2

Dipper spent his Saturday morning doing his best to clean his lab after some strange insect he had yet to identify but had brought home to investigate screeched so high it shattered the glass of his microscope. Ideally, he had been planning to take his time that morning to prepare for the first real visitor to his lab in several weeks, since Wendy had stopped in to say hi on her way to go camping up north. The only people who really came in were Soos and occasionally Melody; the three of them had briefly considered turning the lab into part of the tour before deciding it would be too dangerous and probably not kitschy enough to get much of a real crowd anyway.

Today, he was a controlled mess. The lab was in shambles, but at least he had cleaned up the broken glass. He hadn’t slept, but he was caffeinated. And maybe he hadn’t shaved, but he had definitely showered. Little victories, he thought to himself, shuffling up the stairs to let himself into the gift shop and dodging tourists to find his way back into the house. Attendance at the Shack had been better than ever, and they had all made the executive decision to not tell Stan.

Lost in front of the open fridge, Dipper was pulled out of his thoughts by a distant voice. “Yo Dipper, there’s some folks here to see you!" He jumped, scrambling to make coffee. “Thanks, Soos, be right there!” He called out, rushing back into the gift shop. He saw Sara and smiled, going over to greet her, but stopping in his tracks after a few steps.

Dipper locked eyes with Sara’s roommate and that was that.

“-anks for having us over! This is Wirt, my friend I was telling you about.” Dipper blinked, coming back to his senses. He cleared his throat and turned his gaze back to Sara. “Oh, um, yeah. I mean, anytime! Happy to, uh, have you here.” He smiled at Sara before carefully facing Wirt and grinning awkwardly. “Hey man, I’m Dipper. Nice to meet you.”

Wirt’s eyes widened, finally realizing what was happening. Sara had told him to “wear something sexy” and get in the car this morning, and of course, it was this. Of course, he was standing in front of the perfect stranger he kept catching himself thinking about, and of course, the stranger was looking him dead in the eye waiting for him to say hello. It was Wirt’s turn to blink owlishly and sound like an idiot. “Wirt. Thanks for having us.”

Sara took over. “We were here last week and had a blast! We can’t wait to see what else you have hiding in what I can only assume is a lab filled with beakers and eyeballs.” Dipper broke out of his stupor at this and laughed. “I mean, you’re not too far off. I’d love to show you around, but I do prefer to wait until the gift shop is empty to avoid anyone else sneaking downstairs. The door to the basement being in the middle of the gift shop is definitely a thing.”

Wirt eyed the vending machine. “Does anyone ever try to get a snack and accidentally open it?”

Dipper chuckled, doing his absolute best to try to school his expression into something flirty instead of outright gawking at the cutest man he’d ever seen. “No, but it is a fear of mine. I usually don’t go in or out while I know there’s people up here, but it happens. I try to make little of it. Also, it has a lot more locks than it used to.”

Sarah smirked. “Used to?”

“Eh, I’ll get into it once I decide if you two are secret government agents or not. In the meantime, can I get you anything? Water, coffee…” he trailed off, praying his hospitality was coming off as genuine. He really hoped Wirt and Sara weren’t up to anything sinister. It was unlikely, but he had grown to have a hard time trusting strangers.

“I’ll take coffee, but only if you have another Sev’ral Timez mug,” Sara grinned. Dipper looked down at his own cup to find it was one of Mabel’s old ones and laughed nervously. “I think we should have some other options.”

—

 

After about a half an hour at the living room table, Dipper had decided that Wirt and Sara were unmistakably not a threat. He had found a couple of slightly less offensive mugs and served them coffee, all while learning a bit more about them. Sara spoke noticeably more than Wirt and told Dipper that they were childhood friends who had just moved out from the East Coast. Dipper nodded as he took in the information- Sara was a dancer, Wirt a schoolteacher. He cracked up when Sara told him her background was being a sports mascot. “Oh man, I love that,” he said. “Does it ever come in handy now?”

Sara took a sip of her coffee. “Not so much. I did ballet for years, I just landed a gig teaching at the dance studio in town. I told them I didn’t do tap, but apparently, they’ve been looking to replace this Toby guy for years?” Dipper nodded seriously, making Sara laugh. “I can pick it up enough to teach it. Anyway, when we watch football I like to do little touchdown dances. There’s a mascot in me still.”

Dipper hummed. “New England, huh? Patriots?” Sarah nodded. “Big time. You?” Dipper smiled good-naturedly. “Alas, I am but a humble nerd. I couldn’t have an opinion if I wanted to. I like watching wrestling sometimes, but that’s kind of it.” He turned his head towards Wirt. “You a sports guy?”

Wirt willed his leg to stop bouncing under the table. “Eh, not really. I think humble nerd describes me as well. I did do marching band, though, so Sara and I could hang out at games.” Wirt inhaled, admittedly nervous to share about himself, but he had made great strides in the art of adult conversation. “I played clarinet for years.”

Luckily, that seemed to resonate with Dipper. “Nice! I was a band kid for a while, but I find that many school bands simply don’t know what to do with a sousaphone. I probably still have that beast around here somewhere.”
“I’d love to hear you play,” Wirt offered, but Dipper shook his head. “I promise you wouldn’t. I have other talents. Speaking of, the gift shop looks like it’s clearing out. You
guys wanna head downstairs?”

Wirt and Sara politely turned their heads as Dipper punched in the code to the vending machine and led them down a rickety set of stairs. To his credit, Dipper did his best to ease their apprehension. “I promise that anything dangerous down here is very carefully contained. And that my goal isn’t to scare you at all. Just… nice to have visitors.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he unlocked the door to the lab. “That being said, please don’t touch anything.”

Sara walked into the lab with purpose, Wirt tailing close behind before stopping to peer into one of the many glass cases on the wall. “What… um, what did you say you do?”

Dipper hastily stacked some of the many papers on his desk. “I didn’t,” he admitted. “But, y’know, you’ve made it this far. You guys have probably figured out that Gravity Falls isn’t like a lot of other places.”

Wirt and Sara looked at each other before shrugging. “I mean, my students tell me they see a lot of strange things. And that there are a lot of urban legends. But I don’t think I’ve seen anything concrete for myself,” Wirt said carefully, not wanting to offend Dipper. Sara was just short of brutally honest. “We had pretty quickly assumed that the stuff upstairs was bogus.”

Dipper laughed loudly, which Wirt decided was a good sign. “Completely fair. Most of the stuff upstairs is bogus. My great-uncle started the Shack years ago, and he’s a professional con man. But the reason the Shack fits well with the town is because Gravity Falls is a sort of hot spot for paranormal activity. And I know, I know,” he gestured toward Wirt, who had subconsciously rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t seem real. That’s kind of by design. We wanna keep the town sleepy and unassuming. And I’m supposed to be some ‘man of science’. But things happen here, things live here that don’t exist anywhere else. I started coming here as a kid, and I didn’t believe it myself at first. But I promise you’ll start noticing things you can’t ignore.”

Wirt peered through a window to a separate room and saw arcade games, tables scattered with glowing jewelry and mirrors, and aquariums filled with strange fish. Sara pointed out something to him, but Wirt’s eye was stuck on the enormous heap of scrap metal in the back of the room. He turned back around and eyed Dipper warily. “What do you do down here?”

Dipper shrugged. “Basically, I catalog weird happenings in Gravity Falls. Like I said before, this place is concentrated with the supernatural. The thing is, we don’t really know why. Like, what happened here to result in some little town being susceptible to anomalies like lake monsters, or random zombie uprisings? Computers are constantly glitching or even becoming sentient, there are footprints in the forest and we don’t know what’s making them.” Dipper winked at Sara, who was unable to stop wandering around the lab. “Essentially, I hole up down here trying to figure out what the source of the weirdness is.”

There was a moment of silence. Sara walked up to Dipper’s desk and looked at a drawing on an open page of his journal. “What’s this?”

“It’s a snadger. Half snake, half badger.”

Sara nodded. “Works for me.”

Dipper exhaled, relieved. He knew it sounded unbelievable, but he had a lifetime’s experience proving the existence of anomalies- or, as Stan called them, abominations. He elbowed Wirt gently, who had turned back to look through the window once more. “You good man?”

Wirt jumped at the sudden contact. “Yeah! Just… I don’t wanna be a dick, but I’m not sure if I believe you yet.” Dipper nodded, understanding. “No, I get it. Especially since it often presents itself as borderline cartoony. And I don’t wanna say ‘you’ll get there’, but, like. You’ll get there.”

Wirt laughed, simultaneously intrigued and at his wit’s end. “Okay. Yeah. So, what’s that big hunk of metal in the corner?”

To Wirt’s surprise, Dipper turned away suddenly, not meeting his eye and instead looking at the metal himself. “That’s… a failed experiment.” He stared at it for a moment before clearing his throat and turning back to Wirt. “But there’s other stuff! I can’t let you into the other room because there’s a lot that hasn’t been contained, but you’re welcome to look around here, and I’ll answer any questions you have.”

Sara cackled. “You are the least mad mad scientist I’ve ever met.” Dipper laughed right back. “I get that a lot.” He caught Wirt’s gaze out of the corner of his eye and offered a smile, ignoring his sped-up heartbeat when Wirt smiled back.

—

The three of them spent another hour or so in the lab, and when Dipper could tell they had enough, he brought them back upstairs to the gift shop. “You two have now had an experience that few others have had: you can now truly admire how stupid all the stuff up here is.”

Sara grinned, wandering over to the register. “You’re so right! Like how did I ever think this jar of eyes was real?”

Dipper bit his lip. “Okay, so you did pick out one of the very few things in this room that is actually real.” He and Wirt cracked up as Sara yanked her hand back in disgust, even with a grin on her face. “I’ll be able to tell one of these days.”

“I’m sure you will!” Dipper grinned. “You guys are welcome back any time, and I’m around if you ever wanna tell me about anything strange you see.” He turned towards Wirt, willing himself to be as forward as he could manage. “Or, you know, ever wanna tell me about anything else.”

Wirt swallowed his heartbeat to meet Dipper’s eye and return his smile with one of his own. “Yeah, I- We’d like that. We’ll let you know.” Dipper breathed an internal sigh of relief, snagging a piece of receipt paper to scrawl his number on.

“Well, call me if you ever see anything weird, wanna hang out, et cetera.” He handed the paper to Wirt with a final shaky smile, simultaneously chastising himself for being an overgrown shut-in and congratulating himself for making it through this interaction on like forty-five minutes of sleep.

Wirt smiled back and took the paper. “Your hand is shaking.”

Dipper refused to look. “It’s the caffeine.”

Wirt laughed. “Mad scientist behavior.”

“You flatter me.”

“I’ll call you upon my next spooky encounter.”

“I hope you do, it happens sooner than you think.”

Sara stepped in to grab her friend by the arm. “Thanks for showing us around. We had a blast.”

Dipper smiled, wide and genuine. “Hey, anytime. See you around.”

Wirt took a second too long to follow Sara toward the door. He waved at Dipper on their way out, mentally shutting away how his chest felt when Dipper waved back.

Notes:

Trying to be semi-regular about posting this, but this one was fun to write at least. To quote my friend who beta read this "pffft Dipper play your sensual sousaphone for me"

Chapter 3

Sara teased Wirt about their second visit to the Mystery Shack for days. Teasing, of course, was an enormous part of their communication- for example, Wirt had mere hours ago made fun of Sara for bringing home “pretty rocks she found at the creek”. Hunched over a pizza on Wednesday evening, Wirt grading papers with one hand and holding his slice in the other, he found himself subject to her ribbing once again.

“Oh man, we gotta find a way to get him over here. Do you think there’s any chance this place could be haunted? Or we could go try to find something in the woods, or-”

Wirt cut her off with a glare. “You know that I, as a rule, do not go into the woods.” Sara sucked her teeth in silent apology as Wirt began to speak again. “Besides, we don’t need anything supernatural, really. He said it could be anything. I could just ask him out.”

Sara stared at him for a moment. “But like, would you?”

“Of course not. But, y’know, I could.”

“Well then maybe you should.”

Wirt rolled his eyes, narrowly avoiding dripping pizza grease on a student’s essay. “In another lifetime. He’s out of my league anyway, and who knows if he even likes dudes.” Sara groaned. “We do! You saw the way he was looking at you. He literally gave you his number.”

Wirt sighed, tired of this days-long argument. He and Sara had been going back and forth since the moment they got in the car after their tour of Dipper’s lab, and he had done his best to ignore her meddling even as his heart kept fluttering at the thought of Dipper saying, “or, you know, if you ever wanna tell me about anything else.” But insecurity had already taken hold. “I’ll probably just mess it up somehow.”

Sarah sighed. She knew that Wirt had very little luck in relationships, and hardly any of them really lasted. But she also noticed right away that there was something different about Dipper. The way that Wirt was stubborn, sarcastic, or often obsessive, she could tell Dipper was too. The frustration was that she knew Wirt felt that chemistry and was ignoring her anyway.

“Look, Wirt,” she began. “I know that I’ve steered you wrong before. I won’t act like I haven’t. But we both know that things are already different. There’s a clear mutual interest, an obvious rapport. You’re welcome to ignore me, really, but you know that I wouldn’t push something unless I thought it would go somewhere.”

Wirt eyed Sara, grateful to have someone to look out for him. “No, I know. And it’s HOLY SHIT.”

“What?” Sara whipped her head around, eyes widening as they landed on the stones she had brought home walking around on their own. She stared at the tiny rock creatures and their crystal faces as they made their way over the carpet and onto the couch. “Are you joking?” Wirt groaned behind her. “This is the most ridiculous paranormal experience I could possibly have. Fucking of course I get living rocks.” He turned to Sara, who was grinning a completely unsettling grin. Wirt put his head in his hands as her giggling turned to roaring laughter.

“Wirt!” She wheezed. “This is perfect! Now you have to call him!” She picked up Wirt’s phone off the table, pulled his hands away from his face and forced him to unlock the screen. “This is a sign! And it’s a good one because they’re not even murderous.”

Wirt narrowed his eyes. “We don’t know if they’re murderous.”

Sara caught a glimpse of one of the rocks banging on the TV remote until it smashed. “Okay so they’re potentially murderous. All the more reason to call him sooner rather than later.” A crash sounded from behind her; the stones had apparently teamed up to upturn the coffee table. “Like right now would be good.”

—

Dipper had barely had the mental capacity to slap his hat over what Mabel had called “catastrophic bedhead” earlier that day before making his way over to Wirt’s. For once, he had been close to something of a breakthrough, fiddling with the size altering crystals and managing to change the color of objects. He had been so immersed that he had almost missed the phone call, and had panicked slightly when he saw the caller ID.

How should I answer? What do you say to someone you’ve met once but have had three sex dreams about? Just play it cool.

“Yello?”

And he didn’t even have time to apologize for being a total jackass.

Wirt barely skipped the pleasantries. “Sorry to bug you. We have a situation over here, and we don’t-” Dipper held the phone away from his ear as he heard something break and Sara started swearing. Mental wheels began to turn as he went to his desk to grab a notebook. “What’s going on? Tell me everything you can.”

Wirt took a deep breath. “Rocks in our apartment have come to life and are destroying everything we love.”

“Okay, okay. What do they look like? Like, are they the size of stones, or like a boulder? Are they smooth, or is anything on them?”

“They’re like river stones. With um, crystal shards on them? They have little faces. And oh god now they’re shrieking.”

“Oh, sweet!”

“What?! Did you hide sentient rocks in our house? One bit Sara and drew blood!”

“Oh no, sorry! Just- send me the address. You can literally pick them up and get them out of the way. Or, better yet, light a fire, or hold a match or candle near them. They’ll freak out and run away. I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, um, they’re starting to screech? Like they’re singing a little song?”

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.”

By the time Dipper got there, Sara had successfully corralled the creatures under the couch by laying on the floor with a scented candle. Wirt nearly tripped over her trying to let Dipper in, who was practically vibrating with excitement. He said a quick hello to Wirt and dropped a small duffel bag on the floor before bending down to get to Sara’s eye level. Wirt did his best to focus on being afraid instead of looking at Dipper’s ass.

“Hi Sara!” Dipper said lightly. “Good job getting them under here. I am a little worried about this flame being so close to your couch, though.”

“Dude, forget the couch. Look at this!” She pulled up her sleeve to show a scratch from one of the creatures. Dipper whistled, taking her wrist to get a better look.

“Oof. I mean, you’re fine, don’t worry. I should’ve warned you geodites don’t like fire.”

Sara stared at him. “You told us to light a fire knowing it would make them bite?”

“Yeah. My bad.” Dipper leaned down to help Sara up. “Sounded like a sticky situation over the phone, and they’re afraid of fire, and I know it can be freaky to touch them, so. Yeah.” He cleared his throat and moved behind the couch. “Anyway, I got it.”

“Do you need a ha…” Words died in Wirt’s throat as he watched Dipper crouch, pick up one end of the sofa, and move it back at an angle like it was nothing. He sat down on the floor and laid out his hand for the creatures to walk onto, and then held one up proudly to show them, like a little kid with a frog. “It’s cool! These guys aren’t all that. Can you toss my bag over here?”

Sara looked over at Wirt, still frozen in place after watching Dipper single handedly lift a leather couch, before moving to get the bag. “What are they?”

Dipper flicked his eyes up to see Wirt staring at him, smiling to himself as he twisted his wrist and let the creature crawl up his arm. “They’re called geodites. They’re harmless, really, but sharp, and they know how to use it when they get scared. I don’t know how they got in here, but I’ll bring them back home.” He one handedly dug into his bag for a jar, oblivious to anything but Wirt’s eyes on him. “Did you maybe leave a window open?”

“I found them by the creek and took them home to show Wirt. They weren’t alive then,” Sara admitted, embarrassed. “I didn’t realize, I’m sorry.”

“No, I get it. Trust me, it happens. If I had a nickel for every random thing I brought home without knowing it was sentient.” Dipper picked up the last geodite and dropped it into the jar as if he was cleaning up marbles. At this simple display of what was clearly a daily occurrence for him, Wirt regained the ability to speak.

“Sorry to have made you come all the way out here. I guess we could have dealt with it ourselves.” He saw Sara urging him to say something better out of the corner of his eye and cleared his throat. “But uh- Thanks. We really appreciate it.”

Dipper screwed the lid onto the jar and set it back into his bag. “No man, don’t sweat it. I seriously don’t mind, these guys are fun. And, y’know, so are you.” His cheeks flushed upon realizing what he had just said, but he did his best to power through. “Just- Never be afraid to ask for help with stuff like this. My walk in the park might be somebody else’s nightmare, so I don’t judge.”

Sara harshly elbowed Wirt in the side. “Seriously though, thanks,” Wirt said, casting a sharp glare at Sara. “Do you, um… do you want a slice of pizza? I don’t know how hot it is anymore, but…”

Dipper beamed. “For sure! I hardly ever get paid for my work.” He winked at Wirt as Sara led him into the kitchen, taking mental note of Wirt’s blush. “I mean, helping people is rewarding, and I get to play with critters like that sometimes, so that’s fun. But pizza is definitely a first.”

Sara got him a plate and a can of soda before sitting down. “Do you usually make house calls like this?” Dipper shook his head, mouth already full.

“Not really,” he said, finally swallowing. “Most people around here deal with things like this a lot. They call me out for the big stuff, and that’s not often. That’s why I was so excited to meet people who were new in town. I never get tired of seeing people realize they live with the paranormal. Honestly, thank you for calling me.”

Wirt quirked his lip. “Normal people deal with sentient rocks? What’s next, playing tennis with Bigfoot?”

Dipper choked on his slice. “Bro, I dream of Bigfoot. I’ve looked everywhere. But I meant more stuff like geodites. Most creatures keep to themselves, but little ones like these tend to sneak away. Everybody knows about the little anomalies, but there’s a unspoken boundary between townsfolk and, like, the multibear.”

It was Wirt’s turn to suppress a laugh. “Multibear?”

“Yeah! He’s a cool guy.” Dipper paused to take a sip of his soda. “Look, there’s all kinds of crazy stuff out there that doesn’t want to be found. But some things bleed in, just because we’re all in the same spot. I take care of the big scary stuff when I can, and everybody else learns to just…coexist.” He stared off into space for a moment. “It wasn’t always like that.”

Wirt was surprised. Dipper seemed so flippant about things that completely eluded Wirt, and was more understanding toward his apprehension than anyone had ever been- all while barely knowing him. Wirt leaned in. “Tell me about it.”

Dipper turned his gaze back to Wirt before getting into what the town was like when he first came to it. Sara had since gotten up from her chair and gone into the other room, content to let the two talk.

And talk they did. For hours, Dipper told Wirt about Ford and the journals, carefully avoiding the chaotic evil that had overcome the town. There would be another time for that. Wirt asked him what it was like to get over his fear, something that he himself had always struggled with, and Dipper told him honestly that he hadn’t. The sun had set by the time Dipper finished his one slice of pizza.

“That’s… that’s quite the story.” Wirt said. He could tell that there were specifics missing, but he had heard enough to make him buy what Dipper was selling. He was almost relieved to learn that Dipper, while strong and smart, was far from perfect.

“Yeah man,” Dipper responded, pushing back from his chair to stand. “You’ll have to tell me yours someday.”

Wirt stilled before turning his gaze up to Dipper. “Yeah?”

“Totally. We…” Dipper sucked in a breath. “We should go out sometime.”

Wirt swallowed, heart pounding in his chest. “I’d like that.”

Dipper exhaled, grinning. “Great! This Friday?”

“Works for me.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

There was a moment of silence before both men started laughing, relieved and exasperated. Wirt picked up Dipper’s bag for him as he walked him out, Dipper calling goodbye to Sara as he left. Wirt shut the door behind him and immediately fell against it. “Huh,” he mumbled to himself. “I guess it’s fine?”

Sara’s voice rang out from her room. “Told you!”

Chapter 4

Friday rolled around and Wirt took his time coming home, knowing that Sara would fuss over him the moment he walked through the door. Surprisingly, the opposite happened- Sara was nowhere to be found. He froze for a second, afraid that she was hiding somewhere to help him pick out his clothes, or worse, across town giving Dipper some well-meaning but disastrous shovel talk. Before he could spiral any further, his eyes landed on a note on the fridge.

Back to back classes tonight, won’t be home til late. Good luck! ;)

Wirt exhaled, glad to be safe from her questioning but sad she wasn’t there at the same time. He understood why Sara was overprotective. He was often closed off, afraid to get to know anyone well enough to explain why he was so jumpy and unwilling to share about himself. Even after years of therapy (and therapists who didn’t seem to believe him), he was still haunted by his time in The Unknown.

Maybe that’s why Dipper was different, he mused to himself. This was someone who worked with inexplicable phenomena for a living. Someone fearless, even though Wirt now knew that he was far from it. But that was more impressive: That Dipper had been through hell and kept going, using fear as a motivator instead of a paralyzing deterrent. That was something Wirt had never been able to do. He had a gut feeling that Dipper would truly understand what he had been through, especially since he kept sensing that Dipper was hiding something too. His familiarity with the weird definitely wasn’t an act, but Wirt knew that there was something unspoken between them- and half of it was his own story.

But the possibility of failure was equally frightening. He had been burned before, and moved cross-country to avoid himself. It was too soon to screw himself completely over.

Wirt wandered back into the living room to check his phone, eye landing on the coffee table where a single river stone remained. Dipper had assured them that it wasn’t a geodite, and had simply been mixed in with the other rocks Sara had picked up. Wirt smiled to himself, relieved to know someone able to professionally distinguish between the paranormal and the everyday object. It wasn’t something he thought he needed, but as he turned the thought over in his mind, he realized it made perfect sense. Dipper made perfect sense.

—

A heavy hand on his shoulder brought Dipper out of his thoughts as he was sitting on the porch steps to tie his shoes. He jumped, craning his neck to see Soos standing above him with a smile. “Hey, dude! Heading out?”

“Yeah,” Dipper exhaled, staring out into space. “I uh… have a date.”

“That’s great!” Soos exclaimed, sitting down beside him. “Is it that guy from last week?”

Dipper nodded, still avoiding his friend’s eye. He was rusty in the field of first dates. Dipper knew that he came on strong, could be excitable and intense. He often jumped headfirst into things just so he wouldn’t be alone, only to become overly analytical of his relationships and realize too late that they were doomed from the start. Trusting people was hard.

Soos sensed this downward spiral. “Look, dude. I know you’re freaked out, but think of it this way: that guy came to the Shack just to see you. He was interested even before you showed him around, and it didn’t scare him off. If he stuck around after seeing that lab, he’ll stick around to get to know you more.”

Dipper smiled absently. “That’s… true,” he spoke up after a moment. “I guess I just… I think he gets it? I think he wants someone who understands. And I want to understand. I guess I have to reign in the intensity of all this.” He waved his hand to the Shack behind him.

“I mean, wanting someone who understands and someone who wants to understand sounds like a perfect match,” Soos commented. “You’re already in a better place than any other time. Seems to me like it’s at least worth a shot.”

“You’re right, man.” Dipper stood up, offering Soos a fist bump and fishing his keys out of his pocket. “What have I got to lose?”

Soos grinned. “That’s the spirit!” He gave him a thumbs up, which Dipper reciprocated as he made his way to his car.

Dipper did his best to only silently panic once he pulled into Wirt’s building. His breath hitched when he caught sight of Wirt, all baggy sweaters and messy hair. If Mabel were here she would tease him relentlessly about stumbling into someone just his type: tall, wiry, more than a little sarcastic. He had made the executive decision to not talk to her about Wirt until after this first date. He’d rather report back with good news than bad.

“Hey!” Wirt greeted him as he slid into the passenger side of Dipper’s pickup truck. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

“No worries, didn’t want you to get lost trying to find the place.”

“That’s the magic of GPS, though. Truly, not all who wander are lost.”

Dipper laughed, starting the car and pulling into the street. “You’d be surprised. Compasses around here don’t always point north. GPS tends to be more than faulty.”

The two of them quipped and chatted as they made their way through town, sun starting to set behind the trees. Eventually Dipper pulled into the lot of what looked to be an enormous fallen log, hollowed out and turned into a restaurant. “Greasy’s Diner?” Wirt read off the sign.

“Ha, yeah. Not exactly a lot of options for fine dining around here. This is as good as it gets. Although it is pretty good, I promise.” They got out of the car and Dipper held the door to the restaurant for Wirt, who breezed by him and shot him a smirk. “Such a gentleman.”

“We aim to please.”

Dipper had been right about the place being more than casual, but honestly Wirt found himself grateful for that. A place like this took the pressure off, and he could tell Dipper had picked it on purpose. Nicer than a pizza joint, friendlier than a bar, and just homey enough to be welcoming. They talked their way through sandwiches and soda, flirting between sharing personal stories and facts. Wirt was surprised to realize he almost always had something to say, something he wasn’t used to. Dipper picked up on cues to keep the conversation going, never allowing for a dull moment. Not that there was one, anyway.

“Honestly, I was out of work for over a year after grad school,” Wirt admitted when Dipper had asked him how he had landed so far from home. “I spent years student-teaching and knew I wanted to work in a high school. I think my brother would have liked me to stick around, but I couldn’t wait to leave. Even though it took a while to find something, I’m kind of relieved it brought me way out here.”

Dipper nodded, trying not to look at the way Wirt absentmindedly licked ketchup off the corner of his lip. “I didn’t know you had a brother. Older or younger?”

“Younger,” Wirt said after a pause. “We’re pretty close, or at least we are now. We weren’t always. His name is Greg.”

Dipper picked up by his tone that he should do the talking for a minute or two. “I get that. My sister and I were always really close, but we split up for college. I went to school further upstate in Cali from where we grew up, and she went to New York. I think we needed some time away from being in each other’s pockets, but I missed her. I still do.”

Wirt remembered Dipper mentioning his sister the other night. “Where is she now?”

Dipper smiled, a little sadly. “New York still. She works in fashion, so she’s all over the place. I saw her like a month ago though, she came back to visit for our birthday. We’re twins,” he clarified upon Wirt’s questioning look. “I probably won’t see her until the holidays. But like I said, after we split up for school it didn’t make sense to stick around close to home. I was always happier up here. So as soon as I got my PhD, I was outta there.”

“Dr. Dipper, huh?” Wirt teased. “What’d you study?”

“Applied physics.” Dipper took a sip of his drink, glad the conversation was flowing but still feeling the need to calm himself down. “I took a bunch of natural science and chemistry courses in undergrad too, which comes in handy up here, and I had a minor in film. For years the dream was to have my own ghost hunting show.”

Wirt barely stopped himself from snorting. “Can you go to school for ghost hunting?”

Dipper grinned. “I tried my hardest. But fields in science are really specified, which I always thought was stupid because they’re all connected. Originally I wasn’t even going to go for my doctorate, but I ended up finishing undergrad early, and my great uncle told me it would be worth it. I’m still not sure if it was, but now my mail is addressed to Dr. Pines, and I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t tickle my ego.”

Wirt chuckled, fiddling with his napkin. “I get that. My step dad was trying to push for me to get my doctorate in literature, even though I always said that I didn’t want to teach college-level. I’m glad to be in high school, the stakes feel much lower. I liked school, but I’ll never understand wanting to be an academic.”

Dipper nodded. “My dad is the same way. I know I could teach if I wanted to, but if I’m telling the truth, I don’t. Sometimes I give lectures on public safety, like at the library or town hall meetings. A couple of times, I’ve actually spoken at the high school, so maybe you’ll see me there.” He paused to raise his eyebrows suggestively, making Wirt laugh. “But I like being able to focus on my own stuff. Grant money and occasional town stipends keep me going. At this point, I wonder if I’m even cut out for any kind of traditional work.”

Wirt raised his eyebrows. “If you don’t have to be a cog in the machine, don’t. I can’t say I’d recommend living like this.”

Dipper laughed. “Fair enough. Your side has perks, though. Benefits. I’d love to be able to go to the dentist.”

Wirt stared at him. “Dipper. You have to tell me how long it’s been since you went to the dentist.”

Dipper rolled his eyes playfully. “What matters is I still have all my teeth.”

“I promise you that there are other things that matter.”

The back and forth continued long after they had finished their meal, Wirt insisting on paying the bill. “Save your money for a dental cleaning”, he had said. Wirt laughed when Dipper bowed deeply to open the passenger door for him.

“Thanks for taking me out,” Wirt said quietly as he buckled his seatbelt. “I had fun.”

“Thanks for coming out,” Dipper said quickly, relieved his feelings seemed to be reciprocated. “Me too.”

“We should do it again.”

“I agree.”

Tentative plans were made, weeknights still tricky, but Wirt’s classes ended early on Tuesdays so they agreed to see each other then. “We could catch a movie?” Dipper suggested.

“What’s playing?”

“Nothing good.”

“Perfect.”

When they arrived back at Wirt’s building, Wirt thanked him again, and quickly kissed him on the cheek before getting out of the car. Dipper froze, barely having the clarity to wave goodbye when Wirt turned back before going inside. Next time I’ll make a move, he promised himself, turning toward the Shack as the moon shone above him.

—

The next date, a trip to the movies to see some science-fiction abomination, was an objective success. Wirt wasn’t usually one for movies at all, and when he did go, a movie not even attempting to have an original take on humans vs. aliens wasn’t what he’d choose. But it ended up not mattering, because the real attraction was watching his date. Dipper’s eyes lit up at the sight of the spaceships, his leg bounced during the action sequences. He occasionally leaned over to make jokes or tell Wirt what things were references to, and when the humans blew up the last UFO, Dipper took Wirt’s hand in his and squeezed it to keep himself from cheering aloud. Wirt had sat through the whole movie and couldn’t tell you a thing about it.

Wirt and Dipper left the theater and wandered through the mall for a while, hand in hand, and being very careful not to bring it up. “We’ll have to see something that you like next time,” Dipper offered. “I know that wasn’t really your thing.”

Wirt shrugged. “It’s fine. I don’t go to the movies often enough for it to really matter what I see, y’know? It’s kinda just for the experience.”

Dipper laughed, knocking into Wirt’s shoulder. “Aw, come on. You just sat through a terrible movie and you’re still here. What can I do to make it up to you?”

“You…” Wirt swallowed, doing his best to speak without his voice cracking. “You can come up for a drink when we get back to my place. If you want.”

Dipper blinked. He had been doing his best to keep things light and casual to try and distract himself from what he wanted this to turn into. He hadn’t expected things to happen so quickly, but he couldn’t ignore that he wanted them to. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Wirt, god bless him, squeezed his hand and directed them back to banter. “What the hell is Hoo-Ha’s Jamboree? It looks like nightmare Chuck E Cheese.”

Dipper laughed, immediately back at ease. “Dude, let me tell you about this place.”

Dipper came upstairs with Wirt once they got back. Sara was out teaching dance still, it being a weeknight, and Dipper promised not to stay too long so Wirt could get up early to go to work. Neither of them realized how much time had passed until Sara came home, waving to them before going into her room to give them space.

“Well, that’s probably my cue,” Dipper stood and stretched, twisting his cap around on his head to rub his eyes. “I didn’t realize how late it was, either.”

“Usually I’d be asleep by now. It’s definitely past my bedtime,” Wirt joked as he stood to walk Dipper to the door.

“I wish I had a bedtime,” Dipper said. “Maybe that would be the incentive to sleep more.”

Wirt raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you not sleep every night?”

Dipper only grinned. “You’re a funny man, Wirt Collins.”

Wirt laughed. Dipper moved toward the door to leave before pausing and turning back.

“Hey, I know I keep saying it, but thanks for coming out with me. I’ve been having a lot of fun.” He smiled a little awkwardly, heart speeding up when Wirt smiled back.

“Me too,” Wirt said. “I’ll admit, my schedule is getting a little busy, so I’ll have to get back to you about when I can see you again. But, y’know, I’d really like to. See you. Again.”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah, just let me know.”

Wirt leaned in to kiss his cheek. Dipper flushed, smirking as he grabbed Wirt’s hand. “You can do better than that,” he laughed.

Wirt grinned, laughing back. “Yeah, okay.”

He pulled Dipper in by the waist and bent down to kiss him.

Dipper gasped in surprise against Wirt’s lips moving on his, eyes falling closed before tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Wirt’s fingers dug into his hips as Dipper brought one hand up to Wirt’s face, tangling the other in the hair at the nape of his neck. It only lasted for a couple of moments before Dipper broke it, catching his breath as he settled back on his heels.

“That… wow.”

“Were you standing on your toes?”

“I had to, you’re like a tree.”

“Ouch, see if I ever kiss you again.”

“Oh, I will.”

There was a pause before they broke into laughter, genuine laughter that was for once not laced with nervous energy. Wirt took Dipper’s hand to pull him back for another kiss, this one shorter, and he mumbled, “I’ll call you” at the end.

Dipper, blushing and lovestruck, could only nod as Wirt squeezed his hand and then let go. He stumbled as he made his way to the door, waving goodbye as he left. “See ya!”

The door shut and Wirt leaned up against it, chest suddenly heaving. He took a moment to catch his breath before hurrying across the room to the kitchen, watching Dipper leave the building and make his way back to his car. He stopped in the parking lot to run his hand through his hair and look up at the stars, just for a moment, before getting in his car and driving away. Wirt watched him until he couldn’t see his taillights anymore.

Notes:

Me speeding through the early stages because I hardly ever read anything besides established relationship it's just who I am

Chapter 5

In truth, Wirt’s schedule was busier by design. He intentionally doubled down once October rolled around every year, attempting to busy himself with distractions to avoid even thinking about Halloween. What he hadn’t counted on was Gravity Falls’ never ending love of his least favorite day of the year.

‘Gah!” Wirt jumped at the sight of a scream mask a student had put on when his back was turned. The class erupted into laughter as Wirt scrubbed a hand over his face. “Why? Why me? You need to find different ways to prank me.”

His students only booed him. Wirt raised his hands into the air in an attempt to calm them down. “Look, any other holiday is fine by me. Just this one, this literal one, I like to avoid. Speaking of people avoiding things, I want to talk to you about your poetry presentations.”

More booing. Wirt couldn’t win.

It was always like this, although Gravity Falls seemed to be especially big into the Halloween spirit. Nothing he wasn’t used to. Growing up less than an hour from Salem, he was used to kitschy Halloween- well, everything. Just his luck to have started a life somewhere that took that up a notch.

At least Massachusetts had Halloween history. He wondered if the paranormal element to Gravity Falls made Halloween even spookier, and shuddered at the thought of what the upcoming weeks held. Dipper probably knows about that, he thought to himself.

Wirt found himself thinking about the way Dipper had felt pressed up against him more than he would like to admit. There had been a handful of dates, including one where they had met for coffee, but it wasn’t so much of a romantic date as it was a study date. Dipper had asked him to be a sounding board as he organized his thoughts for a research report, having to submit them every now and again to keep his grant. That had changed things.

“Sorry for talking your ear off, I know dating someone like me can be a lot.”

“Dating, huh?”

“Yeah. If you want.”

“Oh, I definitely do.”

Even with the labels, it didn’t feel like enough. Wirt knew that he just had to get through October. After Halloween, they would be able to pick right back up where they left off.

Sara wasn’t thrilled about this decision. “Wirt, he’s already in. You’re not going to scare him away,” she insisted, sitting on the kitchen counter as Wirt did the dishes one night.

“Look, I’m just avoiding the pattern of ruined relationships,” he defended. “I tell people about The Unknown and they leave. If it has to come up, it’s better that it happens when I’m not as close to it.”

“Bro, I love you, but that is a nothing sentence. He’s literally a paranormal expert. If you talk to him about it, he’ll understand and you can finally start healing. And smooching.”

“Sara.”

“Okay fine, just healing.” Sara groaned. “You’re in a relationship with someone who knows what it’s like to be afraid at the hands of something indescribable. You told me that you felt like he wasn’t telling you something, and you wanted to know what it was. I’m betting that he feels the same.”

Wirt narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re the worst.”

“I’m the best. Go call him.”

“It’s 9 pm on a Thursday!”

“It's only getting closer. Maybe you should spend Halloween with him!”

Wirt hummed in thought. “That’s… actually not a bad idea. But what about you?”

Sara grinned, pushing his shoulder playfully. “It’s fine, I’ve been meaning to tell you that some of my coworkers from the studio invited me over for a scary movie marathon that night. Figured it wouldn’t be your thing.” Wirt stared out into space for a moment, but Sara brought him back. “This is even better. I know you don’t wanna be alone. This is a really good opportunity and I think you should take it.”

She looked at him seriously, almost kindly for a moment, before waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Wirt groaned and pushed her off the counter.

—

Dipper was so immersed in writing that he almost missed Wirt’s call. “Hey, sorry! Hi. What’s up?” He bit his tongue before adding I miss you. Mabel was right, he really was gone for this man.

“Hey! Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Nah, you’re good.” Dipper leaned back to swing his feet up onto his desk, sending several empty red bull cans crashing to the floor. “What’s goin’ on?”

Wirt paused. “What was that sound?”

“Ah, nothing.” Off to a great start, Dipstick.

“Um, ok. I was wondering if you were doing anything on Halloween?”

“Potentially,” Dipper mused. “The town has a big party, sometimes I go. Shack gets all dressed up for it. We could go together if you’d like?”

“Uh…”

Dipper froze, fearing he had said the wrong thing. “Or not,” he backtracked.

“Yeah. I mean…”

There was a pause. Dipper spoke up. “Everything okay?”

He heard Wirt exhale over the other line. “Y’know what? I’m gonna be honest. I am anti-Halloween. I was hoping I could spend it with you to avoid the merry making.”

“Oh.” Dipper was not expecting that. He thought briefly about Wirt’s uneasiness toward the strange before he realized he’d been silent too long. “Sorry, yeah! That’s fine. Do you want to come over here? I usually only do stuff for it during the day, Soos and Melody take over at night. We can just hang out and avoid it together.”

Another pause.

“Yeah,” Wirt said, finally. “I’d like that.”

Dipper mentally patted himself on the back. “Okay, sweet! Wanna come over here around 5? Make a night of it?”

“Sounds perfect. Thanks, Dipper.”

His breath caught in his throat. “Of course. See you then.”

He sat back up once the line went dead. As strange as the interaction was, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Wirt liked to listen about the kinds of things Dipper worked with, but he never asked questions. Halloween could be the source of something, some all-consuming fear unknown to Dipper at this point.

Boy, Wirt was gonna hate finding out about Summerween.

His phone rang again, this time with an 8 bit pop song. He rubbed his eyes as he propped the phone up to answer a video call from his sister. “Hey Mabel!”

“What’s up, bro oh my god. Dipper, I am begging you to get a haircut.”

Dipper’s attempt to push his hair back had ended with his watch getting caught in his curls. “I will. Eventually.”

“Broski. You’ve been saying that for like two weeks. You look like Hozier.”

He grinned at her, teasing. “You would know. Chicks dig Hozier.”

“Since when do you care what chicks dig?!”

Dipper stuck his tongue out at her upon finally detaching his hand from his hair. With Mabel across the country and in a different time zone, they didn’t get to talk as often as they’d like. It was only natural that most of their infrequent conversations make up for lost time bullying each other. “Whatever. How’s it going over there?”

“Same old, same old,” Mabel waved her hand indifferently. “I never thought I’d say it, but I’m getting tired of runway shows. Watching people is so boring! I want to make things!”

“I hear that,” Dipper laughed. “I keep getting emails inviting me to these, like, academic research conferences? As if anybody gives a shit about what I’ve been doing.”

“I mean, they probably do if they’re inviting you. Plus, it could be good for you to, I don’t know, see the sun, talk to another human being. Maybe even shave.”

Dipper lifted his hand to cover the bottom half of the camera so only his eyes showed. “Rude. This is my thinking beard, all great scientists have one. Besides, I talk to people, and I went outside just the other day.”

“Mmhmm. How long ago was the other day?”

Dipper paused. “Sunday? I saw Wirt on Sunday. I think.”

He was forced to cover his ears at Mabel’s high pitched squeal. “Oh my god! You have to tell me everything. What’d you do, what’d you say, what’d you wear?”

“It was barely anything, just lunch.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “I’m seeing him on Halloween, though. We just got off the phone.”

“Oh my goodness,” Mabel gushed. “A Halloween date! That’s perfect! Are you gonna go to the town party? Oh, I think Pacifica’s having a party too! You should take him.”

Dipper pulled a face to make his sister laugh. “Please, it’s way too soon to let him within a hundred feet of Pacifica. And he called me to ask if I was around to avoid the whole thing. He said he’s ‘anti-Halloween’.” Dipper lifted his hands in air quotes.

“That sucks,” Mabel grumbled. “Halloween is the best!”

“You’re telling me! There’s something going on there and I wanna figure out what. I feel like… Like he’s hiding something? I think this might be it. And I really like him.” He trailed off, staring into space before catching his sister looking like she was about to cry. “Good lord. What.”

“YOU LIKE HIM!” Mabel shrieked. “Oh, it’s been so long since you liked someone! And he trusts you enough for this!” Dipper opened his mouth to stop her obsessing, but he wasn’t quick enough. “Dipper, you have something good going and it’s actually progressing. I’m so proud of you!”

Dipper chuckled softly. “Thanks. It’s very, uh… something.” He didn’t include that he was taken aback by Wirt putting his trust in him to spend Halloween together because it didn’t hit him until Mabel said it. He had sabotaged his past relationships by overthinking and going too fast. For once, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. A relief for sure, but definitely unmarked territory.

“It’s everything! You-” her phone buzzed and her camera went off for a moment. “Ah, crap. I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Dipper smiled. “Don’t sweat it. Whenever you get a chance.”

Mabel beamed. “I love you! Get a haircut!”

“Yeah yeah, love you too.”

Dipper hung up and set his phone down to bury his head in his hands. He had been doing his best to focus on his work while continuing to think sappy and/or unholy thoughts about Wirt in between, and this had shifted the balance. He was grateful Wirt trusted him with something that was clearly personal, and he didn’t want to mess things up. A notification pinged from his laptop for an email about academic journal deadlines. He slammed the laptop shut.

—

Halloween was blessedly on a Saturday, so Wirt only had to work the day before. He had long since fallen into the habit of requesting the day off in any work contract, knowing that being in public would send him spiraling. Of course, working throughout the season before was often just as hard.

Nevertheless, he made it through the day. A day spent struggling to get students back on topic, even stooping so low as to bribe them with candy. If their mouths are full, they can’t talk back, he schemed. Plus, this way I’m engaging with the holiday and avoiding suspicion.

As soon as his classes let out on the 30th Wirt came straight home, going into his room and flopping face first onto his bed. He only had a minute or so to wallow before his phone started to ring. Totoro song- oh shit, Greg! He scrambled up to answer the phone.

“Happy Halloween, brother o’ mine!” Greg smiled wide to show all his teeth, holding the camera up close to his face. Wirt laughed.

“Happy Halloween! How you holding up?”

“I’m okay! Oh, check this out!” He flipped the camera to show what looked like an essay, and Wirt waited for the camera to focus so he could read the grade.

“95! That’s great! Is that the one I helped you with?”

“Sure is! I swear, these teachers don’t know what hits them every time I hand something in. I got my very own writing tutor on my side.”

“Glad I could help,” Wirt laughed. Greg had just started his senior year of high school and Wirt had been assisting him with his papers. Unfortunately, both brothers were lost in the world of math and science. “How’s calc going?”

Greg looked away from the camera and made a face. “We don’t need to talk about how calc is going.”

Greg was finishing up his college applications. At the last minute, he had started looking at schools on the West Coast in an attempt to be closer to Wirt, which made him feel a little guilty. Wirt often felt like he had abandoned his brother, but he also knew to remind himself that Greg was much more well adjusted than he ever was. He thought of how Dipper and his sister had a hard time living apart, but they made it work. And they seemed as close as Wirt and Greg, if not closer.

Dipper could help him with math.

“Ooookay, I won’t ask,” Wirt changed the subject. “Do you have any Halloween plans?”

Greg hummed. “I’m gonna go to the football game, and then this girl in my class is having a party. I don’t know if I’m gonna go, though.”

“Heh, I feel like you’re always telling me about parties.”

Greg grinned. “That’s me, big party guy.” His smile faltered and he looked out into space. “I never know about Halloween parties, though. I think I might sit this one out.”

“I get that,” Wirt smiled sympathetically. “I’m trying to get out of my head again, so I made plans specifically to avoid Halloween tomorrow. I gotta tell you, folks out here seem to love it even more than back home.”

Greg’s eyes widened. “Yikes.”

“I know,” Wirt laughed. “And my… friend, who I’m seeing tomorrow, I think he really likes Halloween, too. I think he’s going out on a limb to help me avoid the whole thing.”

“That’s nice of him. Must be a good ‘friend’.” Greg lifted his hand to make air quotes. “I know ‘friends’ like that can be hard to come by.”

Wirt raised an eyebrow. “I bet you do know. Tell me, is the girl throwing this party the same girl who asked you to homecoming?”

“Why, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Wirt chatted with his brother for a long time, playful teasing coming much easier than it used to. He hated to admit it, but he knew that his and Greg’s shared trauma had been the thing to bond them, and even though he couldn’t stand this time of year, he was grateful for his relationship with Greg. Even when Greg turned the conversation back to Wirt’s new friend.

“So what’s his name?”

Wirt narrowed his eyes. “Whose name?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.” Greg stuck out his tongue. “The guy you’re seeing tomorrow. What’s his name?”

Wirt frowned before giving up. “His name is Dipper.”

Greg laughed. “That’s a fun name.”

Wirt smiled. “He’s a fun guy.”

“I’m glad,” Greg said, wincing as they both heard their mother calling Greg for dinner. “I gotta go downstairs. You have fun with Dipper tomorrow, Captain! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He waggled his eyebrows to make his brother laugh.

You don’t even know what that means!” Wirt chuckled.

“I know everything.”

“Have fun at your party tomorrow. I’m sure it will be great.”

Greg exhaled, visibly nervous. “I hope so.”

Wirt smiled. “I know so. Tell mom hi.”

“Call her yourself.”

Wirt rolled his eyes. “Goodbye, Gregory.”

“Bye, Wirt!”

—

Dipper checked his watch, lifting his other hand to stop the wind from blowing his hat into the woods. 4:47 pm. Nailed it.

He had been running around all day, from the grocery store back to the Shack, from the kitchen up to the roof. Even though he knew there were ulterior motives to Wirt coming over, he was counting it as a date and making damn sure Wirt knew it. He had set work aside- maybe not the smartest move, but he had deemed it a necessary one- to plan out a romantic evening, one hundred percent Halloween-free. That had been the tricky part.

The Shack got trick or treaters, but not really after 5. It was too far out from the rest of the town for anyone to stop by after sunset. Before then was a no-go: not only because of kids, but because self-proclaimed ‘Master of Fright’ Stan Pines had long since staked his claim on the Mystery Shack being the Halloween capital of Gravity Falls. Twice a year, for Halloween and Summerween each, Stan rigged the trees full of hanging ghosts and bats, transformed the entire lawn into a graveyard complete with loose bones and disembodied limbs, and gave all his employees a surplus of fake blood capsules to use whenever they saw fit. “Use them wisely!” He would say, cackling like a madman. Those were the good old days.

Soos took this legacy very seriously, but he did make a few changes. The Mystery Shack at Halloween was much more family friendly than it used to be. The one thing that Soos kept appropriately unhinged was Stan’s after-hours Halloween tour, affectionately called Little Gift Shop of Horrors. Dipper had a whole corner of his lab devoted to the gnarliest shit he could find for this exact event, and Soos worked for weeks before the date to conceive of and hot glue together his own monstrosities. Dipper knew he couldn’t ask Soos to cancel it just so he could bring a date over, so he did the next best thing: he told Soos upstairs was off limits.

Luckily, Soos didn’t tease him for it. At least not until hours later when Dipper burst back into the gift shop, red in the face and trying to explain himself.

A car horn sounded from the parking lot, bringing him out of his thoughts even as he almost fell 15 feet to his death. He moved over to the flat part of the roof, blocking the view to his work from Wirt, who was peering up at him from his car.

“How’s the weather up there?”

“Better now that you’re here!” he called out, shielding his eyes against the setting sun and scrambling back to the ladder. “One second!”

Dipper came out through the gift shop to meet Wirt, frozen in place upon seeing the Shack in all its Halloween glory. Dipper pulled him in by the waist to greet him with a kiss, hoping to distract him. Wirt looked dazed when they pulled apart. Mission accomplished.

“Sorry for the, uh. Everything.” Dipper gestured to the decorations surrounding them as Wirt blinked slowly. “Rest assured, I’ve built a Halloween-free zone that I would be happy to escort you to.” He bowed exaggeratedly, extending on arm for Wirt to take hold of. Wirt laughed, taking it. “Why thank you, my liege.”

Dipper led Wirt up the ladder in the gift shop as quickly as he could. Wirt blinked upon his first look at Dipper’s setup.

An air mattress covered in blankets and pillows took up most of the roof. A bottle of wine was poking out through the top of a cooler, and a covered dinner tray holding something that smelled delicious sat nearby. He looked incredulously at Dipper, who was rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish. “The mattress made sense in my mind, but now that we’re here I realize it’s incredibly suggestive. I was kind of in the mindset that, like, lawn chairs would be too separate, and the roof is too hard to just lay on to watch the stars, and oh my god I’m going to stop talking forever.” He huffed out a nervous laugh, hesitant to meet Wirt’s eye. “If it’s too much, I understand, I can work out something else.”

“No! I mean-” Wirt couldn’t stop his eyes from darting between the food and the mattress and Dipper. “It’s perfect. I- nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” He exhaled shakily, finally meeting Dipper’s gaze. “Thank you.”

Dipper grinned, relief shifting to mischief as he reached forward to grab Wirt’s wrist and pull him back, sending them both toppling onto the mattress. He couldn’t believe he had pulled this off.

“Obviously, nothing needs to happen on this mattress per se," he clarified, winking at Wirt just to see him blush. “I just thought it would be nice. Like, the closest thing to a couch I could haul onto a roof. I hope it’s to your liking.”

“It’s very much to my liking,” Wirt stretched out his legs to lie flat next to Dipper. “As is whatever is over there. It smells great.”

Dipper sat up to reach for the tray and handed Wirt a plate of spaghetti. “One of my very few recipes,” he joked, twisting around to grab the cooler.

Wirt grinned, taking the plate. “You thought of everything.”

Dipper chuckled, pouring two glasses of wine and passing one to Wirt. “The Shack doesn’t exactly take Halloween off, but since we are, I wanted to have anything we might need.”

“All looks great to me,” Wirt said. “And this wine is good. Excellent job. You win dating.” He leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Dipper’s mouth before digging in to his meal, Dipper grinning and doing the same.

They talked and laughed until the spaghetti was gone and the sun had set behind the trees. The conversation kept flowing even as the night grew darker, Dipper flicking on a camping lantern as they huddled underneath the blankets to keep warm. Dipper leaned up to grab more wine only to find the bottle empty and feel Wirt’s hand on his arm, tugging him back down.

Wirt pulled Dipper into a kiss, carding thin fingers through thick curls, cap long discarded by now. Dipper broke it for a moment to straddle Wirt’s hips before bringing their lips together once more, slow and unhurried. Wirt sighed as Dipper’s mouth left his own to trail along his jaw.

“I thought you said nothing was happening on this mattress,” he joked, inhaling sharply as Dipper sucked just behind his ear. Dipper gave a breathy laugh. “I did,” He admitted, leaning back to catch Wirt’s eye. “I don’t…” he petered off, trying to gauge where Wirt was at, but all he saw was the way Wirt gulped at the sight of him. That didn’t do much to stop things from happening on this mattress.

Wirt licked his lips and pulled him down once more, swallowing Dipper’s gasp as he brought a hand up to cup his cheek. “It’s fine, you’re good, so good,” Wirt mumbled between kisses. Dipper’s breath hitched, the praise stoking a fire within him. Maybe this was going to happen. Maybe he was right to bring a whole mattress instead of lawn chairs. He mentally congratulated himself, ducking his head to nibble at Wirt’s bottom lip and relishing the way he arched up against him in response. Man, I’m killing this.

Wirt focused all his faculties on how it felt to kiss Dipper, trying to commit to memory the way his fingers gripped the fabric of his sweater and his tongue swiped against his own. It was perfect. He sighed, subconsciously murmuring against Dipper’s lips.

“Keep distracting me.”

Dipper froze, pulling back slightly to break the kiss. He tried to catch Wirt’s eye, but it was obvious he was trying to avoid looking at him. Wirt sighed, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I’m sorry. I-”

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

Wirt froze, taking a moment before tilting his head to look up at Dipper. Dipper, with kiss swollen lips and mussed up hair and a concerned expression. Wirt’s heart didn’t know whether to jump or sink.

“What do you mean?”

Dipper sighed, looking down and reaching out to take his hand. “Look, I don’t want to pry, but I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. And I don’t… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Wirt’s breath hitched as Dipper moved to look him dead in the eye. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But I really like you, and I don’t want you to feel like there’s something that will change that.”

Wirt held his breath for a moment. He looked past Dipper, watching the silhouette of the trees move with the wind, before bringing himself back and steeling his expression.

“I…” He cleared his throat, doing his best to keep himself grounded. “Yeah. Yes. There is. I’m so sorry, I don’t want you to feel like I’m… I don’t know. Using you as a distraction. Because I really like you, too.” Dipper slid off his lap as Wirt sat up, moving to sit across from him and never letting go of his hand.

“Don’t let me pressure you.”

Wirt laughed out of habit, a sound without anything behind it. “You’re not. I’m the one pressuring you. I’m asking you to accept me and I haven’t even told you anything about myself.”

Dipper hummed. “You’re not asking me to do anything I don’t want to do. I really enjoy spending time with you. Nothing is scaring me off.”

Wirt stilled. Yet.

He closed his eyes and willed that voice away.

“When…On Halloween, when I was 16 and my brother was 9, we almost died.”

Dipper didn’t dare move. He kept holding Wirt’s hand, kept staring right at him in case Wirt looked back. He needed to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“We were with some kids at a graveyard. Sara and our friends. The cops came. Greg and I tried to run away, hopped the garden wall and landed on the other side just as a train was coming on the tracks. We jumped out of the way and landed further down the hill. We had rolled into a lake, and Sara said we were there for a while.”

Dipper squeezed his hand. Wirt squeezed back.

“The EMTs got us out and took us to the hospital. The whole thing lasted like 20 minutes. But Greg… Greg and I went somewhere.”

Dipper sat by Wirt’s side as Wirt told him about The Unknown. How they were there for what passed as days, weeks even, unsure of if they would ever get home. He told Dipper about Pottsfield, Quincy Endicott’s mansion, Miss Langtree’s school for animals. He talked about Beatrice and the Woodsman, and about being stalked by the Beast. Wirt shuddered the first time he mentioned the Beast.

“We only got to leave because we outsmarted him,” Wirt said. “We were there for such a short time, and it felt so long. Other people must have been there for years just… at his mercy.” He realized his hands were shaking. Dipper shifted from sitting beside him to behind him, guiding him down until he was leaning against his chest. “I don’t know if it still exists. If it existed at all. But…” Wirt trailed off, not realizing there was a lump in his throat until he had taken a moment to stop talking.

They were silent for a moment, watching the stars over the tops of the trees.

“I’m so sorry.”

Wirt craned his neck back to find Dipper looking out into space. “What?”

Dipper sighed. “I’m sorry you went through that. I have no problem believing it fundamentally changed who you are. But… I’m glad you told me. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me that.” He looked back down to smile, albeit sadly. “Thank you.”

Wirt blinked, surprised. He didn’t share about the experience often, but he had never gotten a response like that. Not that people were cruel or unforgiving, more that they just flat-out didn’t believe him. Not only did Dipper believe him, he understood how he felt.

Wirt couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“I… yeah.” He breathed out, feeling like he was barely even there. “I mean, thank you.”

Dipper gently cupped Wirt’s chin and tilted his head back to kiss him, briefly, sweetly. When he pulled back, he was smiling. “See? Now you know I’m not going anywhere.”

Words died in Wirt’s mouth.

He’s still here.

Notes:

Longer one, ended up combining two chapters bc there's no reason for them to be split up anyway. As soon as I started writing this I was like there WILL be a pivotal moment on the roof of the Shack

Chapter 6

Wirt was relieved to notice how quickly things fell into place once he had gotten his worries off of his chest, even as he fell in over once head once midterms rolled in. He spent a lot of time at the kitchen table, formatting exams and writing essay prompts. When he needed a change of pace, he would call Dipper and work at the Mystery Shack, holed up at the desk in the attic while Dipper sat on the bed and typed away behind him.

Even though Wirt was busy, it was clear that Dipper was on a different level. Wirt’s responsibilities to go to school and teach every day gave him a built-in structure, a reason to get dressed and go outside, not to mention take breaks to go from one place to another. Meanwhile, Dipper had his hands full and nowhere to go. Wirt’s story had gotten him thinking about the mindscape, a topic he had successfully avoided for many years. After reflecting on Wirt’s tale of the Beast and his own experience with Bill, he realized that Wirt had given him a much better research topic than a simple report on the year’s discoveries. The deadline for the journal hadn’t changed, though, so Dipper had to start from scratch on a new paper.

Wirt had assumed that Dipper would prefer he stay away while he was working, to avoid distractions or to not see him in his unkempt state (which was pretty damn unkempt). He was surprised to find himself instead getting texts from Dipper asking if he would be able to come over, even for an hour, just to break up the endless studying.

Wirt got one such text as he was leaving work one day. His phone buzzing snapped him out of his thoughts as he stepped outside of the building, breathing fresh air for what felt like the first time in years.

You able to come over? I don’t think I’ve spoken in like 18 hours.

Wirt frowned, concerned but not at all surprised.

Gimme 20 minutes. Go sing in the shower, I’ll be right there.

Showering had been a frequently needed reminder, as had teeth brushing. Wirt sometimes felt like he was dating a teenage gamer boy. He had let this slip to Dipper, who thankfully thought it was hilarious. “I guess a gamer boyfriend who forgets to shower is cooler than a giant nerd one,” he had laughed. Wirt assured him that if the reason for Dipper’s negligence was gaming, he would be far less sympathetic.

Soos let Wirt in when he got to the Shack, sandwich and gallon of water in hand. Over the past few months, Wirt had come to realize that he was taking over for Soos as the person who took care of Dipper and spent time with him the most. Before Dipper was busy like this, Wirt had often stumbled upon him and Soos hanging out in a manner he was sure had not changed since Dipper was a kid- video game marathons, yard work turned into water balloon fights, cooking with literally whatever was left in the house. Even though they were over ten years apart, it was clear that Soos and Dipper were best friends, a link to each other’s childhood. Wirt made sure that Soos knew he took his newfound responsibility seriously.

“I haven’t seen him at all today,” Soos told Wirt once he came inside. “Like, usually he comes down for something. Coffee, to get to the lab, whatever. I think I heard him use the bathroom a few hours ago, but at this point, who knows if he’s even moved, y’know?”

“I hear you,” Wirt nodded. “I’ll make sure he’s alive.”

“You’re a good guy, Wirt.” Soos patted his shoulder. “Also I don’t know how much of that sandwich he can handle, so I would like to formally call dibs on whatever he doesn’t finish.”

“Of course.”

Wirt ascended the stairs slowly, sighing with relief upon hearing mumbling as he got to the landing. Dipper was notorious for talking to himself when deep in thought, so any sound of speech was a sign of life. He knocked to let Dipper know he was there.

“Wirt?”

“Yep.”

“It’s open.”

Wirt came in to find Dipper sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, sheets and covers entirely on the floor. It was difficult to make anything out, blinds shut and lights off, the only source of light being the glow of Dipper’s laptop on his face as he typed.

“Hey!” Dipper said, not looking up and sounding more than a little hoarse. “Sorry, just- one second."

Wirt carefully moved some of the books covering Dipper’s desk to the side to set down the water and food, unable to keep from glimpsing at the paper scraps and cutouts arranged on the cork boards that composed Dipper’s wall. He saw text that looked like wingdings over photographs of cave paintings, and pages that looked like they were torn out of psychology textbooks. His lab coat was thrown over the back of his desk chair, clear that he hadn't been downstairs in days. Dipper mumbled steadily behind him, clearing his throat as he finished typing.

“Okay!” Dipper exclaimed, pausing to cough harshly. Wirt held up the water jug with a smile and passed it to his boyfriend, who took a swig and promptly set it aside.

“Ah, no.” Wirt pushed the jug right back into his hands. “You will be drinking that whole thing before I leave.” Dipper leveled him with his best puppy dog eyes. Wirt glared at him in response. Dipper mumbled an apology and lifted the jug to his lips, chugging for a full minute and shooting Wirt a grin after he was done. “See? Thanks, by the way.”

Wirt rolled his eyes, glad even though he found himself often frustrated with Dipper’s inability to care for himself. “Anytime. You know you can actually do me another favor and get in the shower. I’m sure we’d all appreciate that.”

Dipper groaned, gearing himself up to argue before Wirt caught his eye in another harsh glare. He shrunk back, nodding. Wirt seamlessly switched his expression to a more pleasant one as Dipper moved to stand.

“How do you do that?” Dipper asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stretching. Wirt winced as he heard his joints crack, popping like a roll of bubble wrap. “Do what?”

“I don’t know. Scare me into doing stuff? Like, I know it’s not healthy, but this has always been the way I roll. I’ve lived with Soos for years and he knows he’s out of his league- honestly, Mabel’s the only one who’s come close to actually pulling me out of focus like this.” He pulled his shirt off and chucked it over his shoulder aimlessly. “You’re like a wizard.”

Wirt snorted. “I mean, I can tell you, but you’re not gonna like it.”

Dipper crossed his arms. “Hit me.”

“I work with obsessive teenagers for a living.”

“Huh.” Dipper was silent for a moment. “Fuck.”

“Yup. At least you know that what I tell you is good for you, otherwise you wouldn’t keep me around. Speaking of, we need to do something about your hair.”

“Nonsense, I keep you around because of your cute face, and I’ll get it cut once I’m done. Anyway, thanks for coming over. And with sustenance, no less! You spoil me.” He dipped down to press his lips briefly to Wirt’s before picking up the sandwich, only for Wirt to swipe it out of his hands. “Not until you shower.”

“But-”

“Go.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

As soon as he heard the water running, Wirt took it upon himself to open the blinds and make the bed. He knew better than to try to clean up anything else, not wanting to disturb what he had heard Dipper refer to as “organized mess”. He wouldn’t have had time to, anyway, since Dipper’s phone began to ring shortly after he left the room.

Wirt went down the hall to poke his head into the bathroom. “Your sister’s calling!”

“Answer it, I’ll be right out!”

“For the love of god, take your time.”

Wirt hesitated before answering the call. He hadn’t actually spoken to Mabel at all yet, even though he knew she knew about him. He steeled himself before answering.

“Uh, hi! This is Wirt, Dipper is-”

“OHMYGOD,” Mabel squealed, cutting him off immediately. The phone buzzed in his hand as Mabel turned the call into a facetime. “Let me see you! Hi! Oh my god I’m so excited.” Wirt held up the phone to turn on the camera, switching on the lights as he came face to virtual face with Dipper’s sister. “Hello!”

“Hi!!! I’m so excited to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you. Where’s Dipper? I don’t want him interrupting.”

Wirt laughed. “He’s in the shower. You don’t want him interrupting?”

“Psh, I talk to that nerd all the time,” Mabel said, waving her hand. “It’s you I’m excited about! Especially since you were able to get him to shower while he was working? I sense greatness in you.”

“Thanks. It’s definitely an uphill battle,” Wirt joked, not really joking at all. “And I’m excited to meet you, too! I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All terrible, I’m sure.”

“Honestly it’s a mixed bag, but mostly good. I have a brother, so I get it.”

“Love someone who gets it. Older or younger?”

“Younger, he’s 18. He’s a lot more fun than me, though.”

“Nonsense. My little brother wouldn’t waste time on someone boring. And again, I know I already said it, but please do not underestimate how impressed I am that you’re keeping him alive and fed. I am the only person who has ever made strides in that field, so welcome to the winner’s club.”

“Ha, it’s the least I could do. He works hard.”

“Too hard,” Mabel rolled her eyes. “Nobody needs to work that hard. I don’t know how much time we have left before he comes back, so let me tell you how grateful I am that you’re there. He’s crazy about you, and being an obsessive workaholic has historically scared people away. You’re in, sweetie.” She winked at him, all smiles even though it was immediately clear how protective she was of her brother.

Wirt’s ears burned as he did his best to ignore the weight of that. He wanted to be in, to be the person to look after Dipper and earn enjoying his company. He just didn’t realize that he was already there. “Hey, happy to help,” he joked, setting his pride aside. “How’s New York? Dipper told me you were out there.”

“It’s good! And by good I mean disgustingly cold and rainy and full of mean East Coast people. No offense.”

“None taken. Trust me.”

“Hey now, Wirt has done wonders to reshape my perspective of East Coast people,” Dipper objected, wandering back into the room with wet hair and a towel tied around his waist. He leaned down behind where Wirt was sitting in his desk chair to get in the frame. “Mabel, can I call you back later?”

“This’ll only take a second. Call mom about Thanksgiving, she wants to know when we’re coming down. I’m flying in on the Tuesday before.”

Dipper blinked, confused. “Are you flying in up here or to Piedmont?”

“Well I could fly to Piedmont, but then I would have to wait until Christmas to meet Wirt in person. Duh doy.”

Wirt froze for a second. He had never had a partner’s family excited to meet him. “Um, yeah. I’m heading back East but I’m leaving on Wednesday. Passing ships, I guess.”

“Then I’ll catch you right in time! Dipper, don’t forget.”

Dipper groaned. “I won’t.”

“‘Uh, I won’t.’ Yeah right. I’ll text you in an hour. And don’t think I don’t see your hair. If it’s not cut by the time I get there I swear I’ll chop it in your sleep.”

Wirt grinned at Dipper. “See? I told you.”

“Would everybody shut up about my hair?” Dipper crossed his arms. “It could be much worse.”

Wirt stifled a laugh. “Let’s hope we never see that.”

Mabel didn’t even try to hide her cackle. “Believe me, he’s right. It could be much worse.”

“Okay, if you two are ready to get off my ass, I'm a little busy.”

Wirt bit his lip to stop laughing. “Sorry, Dipper.”

Mabel’s grin never wavered. “I’m not! Talk to you later, broseph.”

“Yeah yeah, see ya.” Dipper tossed his phone to the side and sat on the bed, pulling Wirt down with him. “Sorry. In my mind that would have been a better first meeting. Everything is just crazy right now.”

Wirt leaned into him. “It’s fine. I’m looking forward to meeting her in person, she seems great.”

“She is,” Dipper said, smiling to himself. “While you’re here, though, some updates. First of all, thank you for coming over. And with food. You’re the best.”

He leaned in to kiss him, just for a moment, before backing up barely an inch.

“All the work is done, I just need a couple days to edit.”

Another kiss, this one slightly more heated. Wirt’s fingers snagged in the sheets as Dipper began to tilt him back.

“The more I hole up the faster it will be done, and it needs to be before Mabel gets here. I don’t know how around I’ll be. So.”

Dipper pushed Wirt back until he was fully lying down, laying a hand over his thudding heartbeat, and leaned in to murmur in his ear.

“I want to give you something to think about in the meantime.”

—

With the exception of the occasional text message, Wirt didn’t hear from Dipper for days. Even though he definitely missed him, Dipper had assured him that once Thanksgiving rolled around, he would have literally nothing on his plate and they would be able to make up for lost time. Wirt let that thought carry him through his own hell week of midterms before Thanksgiving break.

Sara and Wirt barely saw each other these days, Wirt getting home hours after school let out and Sara teaching dance classes until way after dinner. On a rare evening when they were both at home, they flopped on the couch to catch up over Chinese takeout and take advantage of each other’s company for the first time in well over a week.

“I mean, there’s always gonna be shitty kids,” Sara vented, Wirt nodding as she filled him in on how her work was going. “Especially since I’ve been doing mostly beginner classes. Once they get serious about it, they’re a lot easier to work with. But these parents, man. I know ‘dance mom’ is a cliche, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I wish they’d just back off.”

She looked over at Wirt to see him glancing at his phone. “Dude, speaking of backing off,” she teased, nudging him with her elbow. “He’s just busy, he’ll come around.”

Wirt sighed. “Sorry. I know. I don’t wanna be overbearing, I just…I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone throw themselves into a project like that. He literally just sits there and works, and it gets done, but I’m worried about how he’ll come out on the other side.”

Sara hummed. “Probably deathly ill.”

“Awesome.”

She chuckled. “He’ll be fine. Maybe having someone care about him will break the negative habits. It’s been a couple days, he should be done soon. What’s the last thing he said?”

Wirt scrolled through his texts. “This morning he said he was almost done. Said he’ll call me tomorrow.”

“See? It’s fine,” Sara comforted him. “Maybe you should tell him to come over here, or go out somewhere. Lord knows he should leave the house.”

“Dude, you seriously have no idea. His room is scary. Like I know we all joke about mad scientist, but it’s like cartoonishly accurate.”

“Does he have cork boards with pictures connected with string?”

“Several.”

Sara whistled in astonishment. “Holy shit. I was joking, but like. Wow.” She paused before looking over at Wirt, who was picking at his food, and grinned mischievously. “So you were in his room, huh? How was that?”

Wirt choked on his bite. “I liked it better when we didn’t see each other.”

“Pft, you wish.”

—

Wirt was surprised to receive a call from an unknown number during his free period. He had been waiting for a call from Dipper, but the number seemed to be a local one, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. “Hello?”

“Hey dude! It’s Soos. You got a second?”

“Oh! Uh, hey. Yes.”

“First of all, don’t be freaked out. I wanna open with ‘Dipper’s fine.’”

Wirt exhaled. “Okay, that’s good. He had said he was gonna call me, so I was a little worried. Although now I’m more worried because you’re calling me and not him, not that I don’t enjoy talking to you, but oh god I’m rambling. Sorry,” he apologized, breathless. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to tell you that he’s out of commission. He’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Wirt sat up. “What do you mean, out of commission?”

There was a pause as Wirt heard Soos sigh over the phone. “Basically it’s just- y’know when you go really hard on something, and then you’re sick? Like, the kind of sick you only get from, well…”

“Ignoring your health in the interest of sitting awake in the dark for days?”

Soos laughed. “Exactly, man. You get it.”

Wirt chuckled. “Ha, definitely. I can come by the Shack later today, I’ll bring soup or something.”

“That'd be great, dude. He wants to see you. He’s just a little… loopy right now.”

“Can’t wait to see what that’s like.”

“Ah, it ain’t all bad. We’re doing our best over here. No tours today so we can keep an eye on him, so whenever you get over here you can just come right in.”

“Thanks, Soos.”

“Back at ya, dude!”

Wirt hung up, hands stilling for a moment before tapping out a message to Dipper.

Hope you’re doing okay. I’m heading over later, will let you know when. Feel better <3

He went back to preparing for his next class, getting a text notification a while later.

Ur the best ily :)

Wirt’s breath caught in his chest. He’s delirious, he reasoned to himself, doing his best to ignore the grin he couldn’t seem to shake the rest of the day.

By the time he got to the Mystery Shack, it had been nearly four hours since Dipper had texted him. He continued to remind himself that Dipper was sick, likely feverish, and didn’t know what he had said. He let himself in and went upstairs, not knowing what he would find.

The attic was tidier than he had left it, books stacked neatly and redbull cans nowhere to be seen. Dipper stirred upon hearing the door open, peeking out from under the covers and grinning wide when he saw his boyfriend. “Wirt!”

“Hey,” Wirt chuckled, putting his things down and sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. “How’re you feeling?”

Dipper blinked, eyes suddenly watery, before pulling Wirt down roughly to lay with him. “I missed you.”

Wirt kicked off his shoes and twisted around to lay with Dipper, pulling his head into his chest. “I missed you, too.” He wove his fingers through Dipper’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“This is the worst,” Dipper groaned. “I’m so tired, my head is killing me.”

“You worked really hard. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, but you can sleep this off.” Wirt looked around the room as Dipper buried his face in his chest, noticing that the bulletin boards were still full of notes and string.

“I wish I hadn’t written this one,” Dipper mumbled.

“Why?”

“It’s scary. The mindscape is scary. And I don’t even get to talk about it.”

“You… you can talk to me. You know you can talk to me.”

Dipper shook his head against Wirt’s chest. “I can’t. He could be watching. Somehow.”

Wirt froze, the hand in Dipper’s hair stilling. “He?”

“He’s not real. Anymore. But he was. And he sucked.”

Wirt chuckled nervously. “Is he gone?”

Dipper sighed, breath raspy and labored. “I think so? I hope so. But he’s back in my head. I don’t know.” He gripped Wirt’s sweater. “I don’t know.”

Wirt hummed. “You can tell me. It’s okay.”

“What if it isn’t?” Dipper lifted his head to look Wirt in the eye, Wirt’s heart clenching at his pleading expression. “What if he’s here?”

“He… he’s not.” Wirt assured him. “It’s just you and me. You’re okay, I promise.”

Dipper looked at him, frozen in place with fear and distrust. Wirt did his best to shake it off. “Hey, it’s fine,” he smiled, kissing the top of his head. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

Dipper stayed still for a moment before withdrawing his arms and leaning back. “He’s not here,” he said, a question phrased as a statement. Wirt made eye contact as he nodded. Dipper nodded back.

“Okay. Um, there’s this guy. Not really a guy. He’s like a demon,” Dipper began. Wirt nodded again, intent on listening even though he wasn’t sure if he could take Dipper’s word for anything in this state. “Okay.”

“He’s from another dimension, full of horrible weird shit. He tricked us and came over here and let all the weirdness out.”

Wirt did his best to follow, using context clues to piece together what Dipper was saying. “Is that why Gravity Falls is weird?”

“You’d think,” Dipper paused to lean back and cough harshly into his arm, Wirt wincing at the force of it. Dipper took a moment to catch his breath before speaking. “We thought. Ford made a deal. Bill said he knew why it was weird. He tricked Ford. He went into his mind.”

“He went into Ford’s mind.”

“And Stan’s mind. And my mind. He pulled me into the mindscape.”

Wirt furrowed his brow. Mindscape? “Were you dreaming? You were in a dream?”

Dipper shook his head vigorously. “He took my body. He possessed me. When he’s in your body, you’re in the mindscape. You’re a ghost.”

Wirt blinked, brain going a million miles an hour. “Were you…dead?”

Dipper leaned back, staring at the ceiling in thought. “I don’t think so? But he tried to end the world. We had to erase the memory of him. I don’t think about him that much, that’s why. I think. But I had to write about it. I remembered. It sucks.”

Wirt paused, entirely unsure of what to say. “That… that does suck.”

“Bro, I know. And I wanted to write about it. It’s like, low-key fascinating. But I never did because I knew. He’d be there. Even though he’s nowhere.” Dipper sniffed. “Anyway, I did it and now it’s done. And you’re here. I don’t wanna freak you out. I’m like, obsessed with you.”

Wirt smiled. “I’m not freaked out. I’m still here.” He briefly reflected on Dipper sharing this experience with him after he had shared his own, even though he wasn’t entirely sure what Dipper meant. I’m not sure how he’d react if I asked him when he’s better. Wirt pushed the thought aside, grinning wider. “You’re obsessed with me?”

Dipper pressed a kiss to his collarbone. “Totally obsessed. Like, I know I’m a loner, but you gotta know that I’m seriously into you.”

Wirt laughed, stomach fluttering at Dipper’s words and kisses. “I’m seriously into you, too. Did… did you see what you texted me?”

Dipper’s head shot up. “Wha? What’d I do?” Wirt passed him his phone and Dipper took it, staring at their text conversation. “Ur the best ily happy face”, he read aloud. “I mean, yeah.”

Wirt’s heart went from flying to dropping. “What ‘yeah’?”

Dipper placed one hand on Wirt’s chest and lifted his other three fingers. “One: You’re the best, Two: I love you, Three: happy face. All true. No regrets.”

Wirt could only stare at Dipper. He had never had this happen, and couldn’t believe it had happened this quickly. He looked back and forth between Dipper’s three fingers and his smile, even though he could tell that Dipper’s face was flushed and his eyes unfocused. But maybe that’s what made it real. Suddenly, he had no problem believing him.

“Yeah…” he realized. “Me too.”

Dipper lit up. “You, too?”

“Ha! Yeah! Me too!”

“Woooo!”

Notes:

sickfic chapter my beloved

Chapter 7

Wirt was going to be at work when Mabel’s flight got in, so Dipper, fully recovered from his burnout, was forced to go on his own. Tangled together in Wirt’s bed the morning of, Dipper took the time, as he often did, to complain about how much Wirt worked.

“You should just not go, I’m sure Mabel wants to see you sooner rather than later. I know I do.” He curled up against his boyfriend, humming when he felt fingers start to weave through his hair. “Oh man, keep doing that.”

“Good lord. I don’t think I want to be there when Mabel sees how long this is. Do you have time to get it cut before you go pick her up?”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “At this point, it’s the principle of the thing. Maybe I want to have long hair. Nobody ever considers what I want. And it’s not like I make comments on her appearance.”

Wirt hummed. “I think you know better than to do that.” He rolled over slightly to look at his phone. “Okay, I’m really cutting it close. I have to go.”

“Noooo!” Dipper whined, grabbing onto his arm. “It’s the week of Thanksgiving, that’s like the perfect time to call out. There’s nothing to do.”

“True, but I’m taking tomorrow off to go home, so I kind of have to go in today.” Wirt gently pried Dipper’s fingers off of his arm before placing a kiss to the back of his hand. Dipper groaned and flopped onto his back.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” he grumbled. Even though he had known for weeks that Wirt was flying back East for the holiday, now that it was actually upon him it was all he could do to make his misery known. But who could blame him for wanting his boyfriend to stay, especially since he discovered that Wirt hated pet names? “I’m gonna miss you so much, baby.”

Wirt bristled. “Why is this happening to me? I’m begging you not to call me that.”

Dipper grinned. “Is babe any better? Like, oh babe, don’t go, stay here with me.”

Wirt whirled around, scowling. “How would you like it if I called you babe? Or something worse?” Dipper only smiled wider. “I think you know I’d be into that.”

Wirt, slightly rushing at this point after laying in bed too long, hopped on one foot to put on his shoes. “Alright darling, I’m just gonna keep picking pet names until I find one you hate.”

Dipper laughed. “I like darling! By the way babe, your shoes don’t match.”

Wirt looked down at his feet and back up at the clock, deciding there was nothing to be done. “Whatever. I gotta go, lock up when you leave.” He bent down to press their lips together briefly before hurrying out the door. “I love you sweetie, get a haircut!”

Dipper smiled, biting his lip to keep it from wobbling. “Love you, have a good day babe!”

A muffled “goddammit” sounded from the other room and Dipper heard the door shut. He rolled back over to check his phone. He had a couple hours before Mabel landed, and a borderline nightmarish Mystery Shack on his hands. He would have to prioritize.

He got up and started to get dressed, noticing Wirt’s open suitcase in the corner of the room. He found a scrap of paper to scribble a love note on and stuck it between the folded clothes before finishing getting ready and heading into the apartment.

“Morning! Wirt gone?” Sara greeted him on her way to the kitchen. Dipper nearly jumped out of his skin, forgetting someone else lived here. Luckily, he recovered quickly. “Yeah, just left. What’s up? Haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Not much! Crazy busy, but I guess that’s all of us. Coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Dipper sat down at the kitchen table. “Wirt told me you guys keep missing each other. But you’re heading back East together tomorrow, right?”

“Yup. And your sister’s coming in today?”

“Uh huh. Gotta pick her up in a few hours.” He reached out as Sara passed him a mug.

“Do you want anything in there?” She asked. Dipper shook his head, already drinking it. “Weirdo. Speaking of your sister, Wirt told me he met her over the phone. It seems they're in agreement about this situation.” She gestured to his head, hair hanging almost at his shoulders. “It’s not unfixable, y’know.”

Dipper groaned. “Ugh, if I had a time wish I would wish to never have to cut my hair. It would just always be at the same length. Mabel’s gonna kill me when she sees it.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Dude, she doesn’t have to. I’ll cut your damn hair.”

Dipper choked on his coffee. “You really don’t have to do that.”

Sara hummed, rummaging through the junk drawer for a pair of scissors. “I mean, what’s worse: your boyfriend on your case, your sister on your case, or both at the same time?”

Dipper glared at her for a moment before sighing and tossing his cap onto the table. “Do your worst.”

—

Mabel squealed so loud when she first laid eyes on Dipper at the baggage claim he was sure only dolphins could understand how excited she was. He opened his mouth to say so but was derailed by Mabel nearly tackling him to the ground. “Holy shit, how can you be this energetic after a five hour flight?” He griped, hugging her tight enough to lift her off her feet.

His sister only laughed. “I was just so excited to see you!” Dipper set her back down, and she grinned up at him. “And lots of Mabel juice.”

“That explains it.”

She gasped, reaching up to take his hat and fuss over his hair, even as he batted her away. After years of fighting for the title of ‘alpha twin’, Dipper had ended up nearly 5 inches taller- not that it mattered, since it didn’t stop her from getting in his space. “Ack! Mabel, stop!”

“I wanna see the haircut! I swear I would have smacked you if you didn’t do anything about it. It looks good!”

Dipper pushed her away, slapping his cap back on. “Courtesy of Wirt’s roommate, who cut it at the kitchen table this morning. Let’s get your bags.”

“Wow, a true hero.” Mabel teased. “So you were over at Wirt’s last night?”

Dipper rolled his eyes, blushing. “Maybe I was. Leave me alone.” He pulled Mabel’s bags off the belt, knowing her glittery luggage too well after picking her up so many times. “Anyway, he’s working but he’s coming over when he gets out, probably around 4.”

Mabel eyed him suspiciously. “And the Shack?”

“Clean as a whistle.”

“Thank god.” She gave an exaggerated sigh of relief, Dipper snickering in response. “It wasn’t that bad, Soos did a good job after I was si… working. Good as new.”

Mabel leveled him with a glare. “Sick? Were you gonna say sick?”

Dipper averted his eyes. “Maybe. But I’m not sick now, so, y’know. That’s a win.”

“Dipper,” Mabel groaned. “You need to take better care of yourself! You can’t leave it all to everyone else, especially now that I’m not there. Soos is busy, and Wirt-”

“Wirt was a saint,” he interjected. “Without him that paper would have taken twice as long. I took breaks because of him, took showers and ate in between. I was only sick for two days. I’ll be better next time, but give me a break.”

Mabel rolled her eyes, acting annoyed when she was really in awe of what she had just heard. Someone took care of him? She broke herself out of her thoughts to keep up her overprotection. “Well, I’m glad to hear it, but only if you keep up those good habits.”

Dipper chuckled. “Deal. By the way, what do you want to eat? I don’t ha-”

“Pancakes! Pancakes!”

“Okay, damn. Diner it is.”

—

Wirt heard laughter and noise from inside the Shack before he even opened the door. He hesitated before coming in, not quite sure what to expect, but nothing could have prepared him to be knocked on his ass by a full grown pig.

“Waddles, down! C’mere, baby.” Mabel rushed over to pick the pig off of Wirt before helping him to his feet and giving him a bone-crushing hug in one sweep. “Hi! It’s so good to finally meet you!”

“Oof- Uh, hi! You too, I’m glad we’re not missing each other.” Wirt tried to catch his breath once Mabel released him to get a good look at him, straightening his sweater and fixing his hair. “Oh, you are perfect. I’ll have to hook you up with some new sweaters, too. What are you, like a medium?”

“Let him go, Mabel.” Dipper came up behind his sister to pick her up by the waist, ignoring her kicking and shouting to set her aside. She went back into the living room, grumbling the whole way, as Dipper dusted Wirt off and pulled him down for a kiss. “Hi.”

Wirt smiled into it before tugging down the bill of Dipper’s cap. “Hi. Nice hair.”

“Nice face,” Dipper winked. “You can thank Sara, she took care of it this morning.”

“Glad it all worked out. Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

“I heard that!” Mabel shrieked.

“No you didn’t!” Dipper shouted back.

Wirt laughed, shrugging off his coat. “Well I definitely see the resemblance.”

Mabel sat cross legged on the floor, Waddles curling up in her lap. “Aww, I missed you, too,” she cooed, rubbing his belly. “I bet Soos has been taking good care of you.”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Hey, I take care of him, too!”

“Oh yeah? Wirt, have you ever seen Dipper even go near this pig?”

Wirt froze, eyes darting back and forth between them. “I… don’t know how to answer that.”

Mabel leaned back to call into the other room. “Soos, who takes care of Waddles?”

There was a moment of silence before Soos called back. “I mean, we’ve been pretty tight since we switched bodies.”

“Told you!” Mabel taunted. Dipper only pinched his forehead in frustration. “Dammit babe, we’re supposed to be a team! I need you to back me up.”

“I’m sorry,” Wirt laughed, pulling Dipper into his lap as he sat down. “But the only time I’ve seen- Waddles, is it?” He looked to Mabel for confirmation, continuing after she nodded. “Right. The only time I’ve seen Waddles is in the tour I took before I even met you.”

Mabel gasped, appalled. “Dipper, how could you? You’ve been ignoring my precious baby just to spend time on your nerd shit?”

“Don’t call my boyfriend my ‘nerd shit’!”

“Not him, your other nerd shit. You know what I mean.”

Dipper sighed. “Look Mabel, Waddles is getting old. He just sleeps most of the time anyway, and even when he does hang out in the attic sometimes, he prefers Soos and Melody to me anyway. What am I supposed to do?”

Mabel only continued to stare him down. “I know he’s getting old, that’s exactly why you need to spend time with him when I’m not here! I need to know he’ll live out his final days in peace!”

“Okay, okay, fine! I’ll spend time with him,” Dipper conceded, watching Waddles get up and start to nudge Wirt’s legs. “Although it looks like I might not have a choice. Waddles, do you like Wirt? I bet you’d like to hang out with Wirt.”

Wirt froze, entirely unsure of how to interact with an overly friendly pig. He hesitantly reached out his hand, which Waddles sniffed before promptly licking his fingers. Wirt yanked his hand back in disgust as the twins laughed.

“Oh my god, he totally loves you!” Mabel giggled. “I’ll show you how to pet him! He likes getting tummy scratches, and he likes it behind the ears- oh, I know you like it behind the ears!” She gushed over Waddles, who was rolling around happily on the carpet, squealing as Mabel cuddled him. Wirt stared in astonishment, Dipper grinning at his expression.

“Yeah, Waddles doesn’t do much when Mabel’s not around,” he chuckled. Wirt furrowed his brow in thought. “How did you even get a pig?”

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Eh, it’s a long story.”

“A great story!” Mabel chimed in. Dipper narrowed his eyes at her before turning back to Wirt. “Anyways, we’re just hanging here tonight, probably gonna get a pizza or something. I know you and Sara are heading out early tomorrow, so whenever you have to go, we get it.”

“I mean, I’ll definitely stay for dinner,” Wirt said. “As long as I don’t get home too late, it should be fine.”

“Woo!” Mabel cheered, shouting into the other room. “Soos, get the switch! I’m about to destroy your hard-earned Mario Kart records!”

Soos poked his head through the kitchen door. “You got it, hambone!”

Dipper laughed. “Soos, Melody, come hang out!”

They all sat around the TV for hours, eating pizza and playing video games, eventually switching to making fun of local horror movies. Eventually there was a knock at the door. Wirt looked up as a redheaded woman slipped inside only for Soos to tackle her to the floor in a hug before she could get a word out. “Hey, Soos!” she croaked out, weakly waving. Dipper laughed before getting up to add to the dog pile, Mabel right behind him. “Guys, can’t breathe.”

“Alright, alright.” Melody crossed the room to shoo everyone off and help her to her feet. “Thanks, Melody!” Wendy wheezed, catching her breath. Dipper booed her. “No sympathy for people that I know can kick my ass.”

Wendy laughed. “Not unless I have to!” She smiled at Wirt, clearly a little overwhelmed by the display. She stuck out her fist. “Hey, I’m Wendy. Nice to meet you.”

“Wirt,” he said, bumping her fist with his own. “You too.”

Wendy grinned, glancing at the twins. “This the boyfriend?”

Mabel shot her a thumbs up. “Yep!”

“Nice!” She punched his shoulder, light enough to be friendly but hard enough to still hurt, smiling at him with a glint of something dangerous. “You bein’ good to my friend Dipper?”

“I’m trying?” Wirt said, rubbing his arm. Dipper stepped up to his boyfriend’s side and spoke for him. “S’alright, he’s a keeper I think.”

Cheers rang out from across the room.

“Definitely!”

“Great guy!”

“Big fan!”

“Glad to hear it,” she grinned, sitting on the floor. “Yo Soos, grab me a beer?”

Wendy fit in with the dynamic perfectly. It was clear that she had known the family a long time, but Wirt had to wait a while to ask how. She crushed her can with one hand before answering. “I worked the gift shop in high school, met these two their first summer here. Good times. Guess you haven’t met Stan yet?” Wirt shook his head, and Wendy grinned in response. “You’ll pick up some pieces when you do.”

Dipper scoffed. “Shut up, Wirt and Stan will be fine. But babe, Wendy was the coolest person we’d ever met. We hung out all summer, she went on adventures with us and everything. We’ve been friends ever since.”

“Well shucks man, I’m blushing,” Wendy teased. “Anyway, I love the twins, but real friends would come over to visit me at work sometime.”

Dipper shrugged. “Dude, I’ll try whatever you bring me, but I’m not seeking anything out.”

Mabel shoved his shoulder. “You sure you don’t want anything before we spend four days at home?” Dipper froze, face going pale as the reality of going home for the holiday set in.

Wirt looked back and forth between them all. “Wendy, uh, what do you do?”

Wendy flicked her hair over her shoulder. “I run the dispensary in town. All that home grown shit. You should come check it out!”

Wirt bit his lip, trying not to laugh as he turned his eye to Dipper who was still frozen in shock beside him. “You didn’t tell me you smoked.”

“It’s not a common thing, just once in a while, usually with Wendy.” He mumbled. “I haven’t been home in almost a year, though. I definitely need something.”

The chatter in the room resumed loud enough for Wirt to lean into Dipper. “You’ll be fine. And it doesn’t bother me, by the way.”

Dipper huffed out a laugh. “It’s never been anything more than casual. Did you ever…?”

Wirt shook his head. “Never had the desire, even as an adult.”

Dipper kissed the tip of his nose. “Fair enough. Keep it that way.”

“Or what?” Wirt laughed. Dipper grinned and leaned in to kiss him, only to be immediately hit in the head with an empty soda can by Mabel. “Keep it in your pants, Dip Dop!”

—

Dipper had fought hard to get to go home with Wirt the night before. He almost gave up, too. Mabel definitely hadn’t been happy. But he promised he would be back the next morning, and they weren’t leaving for Piedmont until early afternoon. He swore they’d have plenty of time.
Of course, other things took precedence. Dipper had jumped Wirt pretty much as soon as they walked through the door, leading to both of them oversleeping and rushing to leave the next day.

“Oh my god, it’s already 11. She’s gonna kill me in my sleep.” Dipper groaned, trying and failing to button his shirt correctly. “Why. Why are you so sexy.”

Wirt passed behind him, brushing his teeth. “My charm is an elaborate ruse to get you to be late for things.”

“You’re a menace.”

“You love it.” He went back down the hall to the bathroom, words muffled by his toothbrush. “And it’s better this way. If we didn’t do anything you would have just been sad and horny all week.”

Dipper groaned, sitting on the bed to tie his shoes. “Right, now I’m just sad.”

Wirt came back into the room and sighed, sitting by Dipper and slumping into him. “I’m sad, too. But I’ll see you in a few days. We can have a call so you can meet Greg. I think he’s actually gonna come out next month. And I’ll be here all winter, so we’ll have a holiday together after all.”

Dipper stared at the wall. “I’m excited to meet him.”

Wirt smiled. “Me too. I’m a little bit afraid of what will happen.”

“Call me when you land.”

Wirt leaned down to kiss his temple. “Of course.”

Dipper took his face between his hands and tugged it down to have their lips meet, sighing as Wirt put a hand on his chest. Dipper’s hands didn’t move as Wirt leaned back after a moment. “I love you. It’ll be okay.”

Dipper nodded, breath stuck in his throat as he pulled him down again.

—

Dipper had wanted to drive Wirt to the airport but missed the chance by running late to head back to the Mystery Shack. He barely had time to swing by Wendy’s before practically yanking Mabel into his moving car to drive down to California, last minute pre-rolls and luggage in tow.

“I can’t believe you,” Mabel grumbled as they left the town limits. “Y’know, just because you’re in your little honeymoon phase doesn’t mean you get to leave me behind. You can explain to Mom and Dad why we’re getting there so late.”

“As if they care,” Dipper groaned, letting the silence sit for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

Mabel sighed. She knew Dipper had never had a relationship go well like this, and she knew he was afraid he had to get in as much as he could while it lasted. “It’s whatever, I get it. But you don’t have to worry about Wirt, he’s over the moon for you.”

Dipper chuckled. “You think so?”

“I know so. It’s clear you’re both in this for the long haul.” She snuck a glance at Dipper, eyes trained on the road, and smiled. “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

“I think it is? I just… it’s never been like this before. Like I know it’s fast, but it just makes sense. Everything about him makes perfect sense. It’s honestly so refreshing.” He looked over at her for a brief moment, fingers gripping the steering wheel. “But also obviously terrifying.”

Mabel nodded. “Relationships are so scary.”

“Dude, I fucking know. I guess that’s why I’m all over him. I just want it to last, but something is telling me it’s going to fall apart.”

Mabel snorted. “Yeah, I clocked that immediately. But it feels different because it is different. It’s just… better.” She poked him in the side. “Don’t tell yourself to ‘enjoy it while it lasts’. Just enjoy it, and it’ll last.”

“That’s… surprisingly good advice.”

Mabel tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Well, what do you expect from the world’s greatest matchmaker?”

“You weren’t even there to make the match! We made it ourselves!”

“You didn’t make shit!” Mabel scoffed. “You told me from day one that Wirt’s roommate orchestrated the whole thing.”

Dipper grinned. “Well then, I guess for once you don’t get any credit.”

“I will seriously kill you.”

Notes:

A few notes on this, the most fun thing to write:
The "I'll cut your damn hair" line is my most quoted line from the Scott Pilgrim comics. Idk why but it's like the funniest thing in the world to me.
I worked hard to make sure Dipper and Mabel interact exactly like me and my siblings. Nothing drives me crazier than unbelievably written siblings.
Finally, I know in my soul that stoner Wendy and professional nerd loser Dipper are absolute besties. I've been waiting all fic to orchestrate this.
Anyway, I have one more chapter and then an epilogue! Thanks for sticking with me :)

Chapter 8

“Wirt! Sara!” Greg waved wildly from his car, turning heads as he called out for his brother. “Over here!”

Sara pulled an exhausted Wirt with her as she ran toward Greg and crushed him in a hug. “Greg! Thanks for coming to get us.”

“Aw, any ol’ time.” Greg grinned, hauling their suitcases into the trunk. 18 years old and driving his dad’s old station wagon, Greg had quite literally begged to be the one to pick up Wirt and Sara at the airport. Wirt had entertained the idea originally but had forgotten that it was actually in motion. Now he was exhausted from his flight, and while he loved his brother, he didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now.

“Hey, Greg!” Wirt smiled wearily at his little brother, now almost as tall as him, as he was pulled into a hug against his will. “Hiya, Wirt! Why don’t you sit up front and get a look at my mad driving skills?”

“Greg, you’ve had your license for over a year.”

“Perhaps, but now I’ve got a car to call my own. You’ve gotta help me name it!”

“Christ, not again.”

After dropping Sara off at her parents’, Wirt and Greg made their way to their own house. Wirt asked Greg to go in without him so he could call Dipper.

“You just saw him! When do you ever see me, huh?”

“I’m about to see nothing but you for four days! It won’t be long, I just wanna tell him I got here alright. I wanna get you on a call with him one of these days.”

Greg grinned. “Hey, yeah! Alright Captain, I’ll go on ahead.” He shot off a salute before heading into the house with Wirt’s bags.

Wirt chuckled. Spending time with Mabel had definitely helped him ease back into his brother’s brand of absurdity. He could only imagine she and Greg would get on like a house on fire. He sat on the front steps once Dipper picked up.

“Hey, babe!”

“Hi! Uh, hi… ah fuck, I can’t think of one right now.”

Dipper laughed. “Don’t sweat it. You can just call me my name.”

“Oh thank god, I’m right back to where we started. Anyway, we just got back to the house, I have to go inside but I wanted to let you know that I am officially done traveling.”

“Woohoo! Us too!” Mabel cheered. “I’m also here. We’re just pulling up to our parents.”

“That we are,” he heard Dipper grumble.

Wirt chuckled. “Ooookay then. We should be around tomorrow morning if you want to call me and Greg, other than that I’ll have my phone on me. Good luck with, I don’t know, everything?”

“Thank you, sincerely,” Dipper sighed. “We’ll call you then. Love you!”

“Love you too, you’ll be fine.” Wirt assured him. There was some mumbling from Mabel on the other line right before he hung up that he could only assume was teasing. He sat still for a moment before going inside.

—

Dipper and Mabel received about as warm of a welcome as they could expect. They rushed in the door an hour later than they had promised and were greeted by their father watching TV, not looking up from the screen. “Took you two long enough. Traffic?”

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, knowing there was no way for the conversation to improve from here. “Something like that.”

There was a moment of silence before Mabel whined and pulled Dipper along by his arm. “Okay, see ya in a minute, Dad!” She called behind her, steering her brother upstairs. “So this won’t be easy.”

Dipper scoffed. “Is it ever?”

“Okay asshole, you’re really not helping,”

Dipper groaned, opening the door to his childhood bedroom. “Whatever, I’ll just ignore…” he trailed off upon realizing that the room had been completely cleared out. Every poster, book, and video game was packed in boxes in the corner. He stood in the middle of the room in shock until he heard a knock on the doorframe.

“Hi, sweetie.” Their mom slipped past Mabel to put a hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “Something came up and we needed a guest room. We didn’t get rid of anything, just set it aside.”

Dipper flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and noticing even the glow in the dark stars were gone. “Of course you did. Why wouldn’t you? I don’t live here anymore.”

“I’m glad you understand.” She patted his shoulder and left the room. Mabel caught Dipper’s eye and sucked her teeth, trying to make light of the situation. “Damn. I’m sorry, Dip.”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “About what I expected. Anything good in there?”

Mabel rummaged through the boxes. “Mostly nerd stuff. What even is this thing?” She held up an intelligence puzzle to show her brother.

“Oh man, what-the-heck-a-hedron! I couldn’t even solve it, Waddles had to do it when he was smart for like 12 hours.” Dipper got up to look through the box as well, pulling out bits and pieces of his childhood. Mabel found a tech deck skateboard and began running it along the walls. “You should show this to Wirt, I bet he’d have a field day.”

Dipper hummed, digging through a box of awards from various academic ventures. “You’re probably right. I should show him when I call him tomorrow.” He sighed, slumping against the wall. “I know I shouldn’t be mad, but like… This sucks, right?”

Mabel moved next to him and handed him a ratty stuffed animal. “It totally sucks.”

—

Greg was practically bouncing in his seat as they called Dipper. “I can’t wait to meet him! Do you think we’ll get along? I bet it’ll be better when I go out to see you next month. Wirt, dial faster!” He shoved his brother’s shoulder as the phone rang in his hand.

“Greg, relax! I’m just waiting for him to pick up. I have no worries about you getting along. I’m sure you’ll get along all too well.”

“Helloooo?” Dipper’s voice rang out from the phone. “I can hear you, y’know.”

Wirt jumped at the surprise but relaxed upon seeing his boyfriend. “Hey! Sorry, someone is excited to meet you.”

“Shut up, Wirt!” Greg grabbed the phone to angle it toward his face. “Hi! I’m Greg! I’m the one excited to meet you!”

Dipper laughed. “I’m excited too! I’ve heard a lot about you. What’s up, man?”

“Happy Thanksgiving! Everything is good! Wirt’s here!” Greg held up the phone so Dipper could see both brothers. “Say hi, Wirt!”

Wirt rolled his eyes. “Hi, Dipper.”

Dipper grinned. “Hi, yourself. How’s home treating you?”

“So far, so good. Whole big family dinner tonight, so that’ll be…something,” he sighed. “We’re just hanging out. Miss you, though.” He elbowed Greg before he could start teasing, knowing it was coming without even turning his head.

Dipper smiled. “I miss you, too. I won’t say it’s been a total loss over here, but it could be better. My parents packed up my room without telling me, so now all my stuff is in boxes. That’s been fun.”

“Woah, what?” Greg gaped. “I would freak out if my parents did that.”

Wirt groaned. “They never could do that because you have so much stuff.”

“I like stuff.”

Dipper laughed. “I like stuff, too. Honestly, I might take it back up to Gravity Falls since it’s so neatly packed. I’m sure there’s stuff you’d get a kick out of, Greg.”

Greg lit up. “Like what?”

Dipper picked up the phone and settled himself on the floor in front of the boxes. “Let’s see. There’s like a zillion Rubik’s cubes and intelligence puzzles- they’re all solved, but we could mess them up again.”

Wirt scoffed. “Nice humble brag.”

Dipper laughed. “I do what I can. There’s a bunch of school stuff, like notes and textbooks. Mystery novels. This looks like… ancient Shonen Jump. Chewed-up pens, video games, Pokemon cards… It was more exciting when Mabel and I were digging through last night, I guess.”

“How old is the Shonen Jump?” Greg asked. “Like a couple of years, or?”

“Try a decade,” Wirt said. “The school stuff is another thing, I bet Dipper could help you with calc. You said you were having trouble with it.”

“Pfft, calc is for nerds. I wanna read the manga!”

Dipper laughed. “The manga is from 2008 at least, my man. But I didn’t know you were taking calc! Oh, to take calc again for the first time.”

Wirt narrowed his eyes. “No way did you actually just say that.”

“Wirt, I can’t believe you’re dating someone who likes math,” Greg frowned. “How could you do this to me? I thought we were brothers.”

“Okay, okay!” Dipper raised his hands in defeat. “If you don’t want my help, you can just have the manga. It’s like all Fullmetal Alchemist, speaking of brothers.”

Greg grinned in excitement. “I’ve never read it! My friends like the anime.”

“Oh dude, it’s the best! You should watch Brotherhood.”

“Calc,” Wirt coughed.

“Yes!” Dipper snapped out of his thoughts. “Greg, if you would like, I am more than happy to help you with calc. There’s also Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons in this box if you wanna make math even more fun.”

“Even more fun? What does that even mean?” Greg groaned. “I’ll go get my homework.”

“Oh, I don’t know if he meant right now…” Wirt trailed off as Greg left the room to get his homework, turning back to Dipper with a sigh. “Okay, I guess that’s happening.”

Dipper chuckled. “It’s fine by me. That’s a good sign for a first meeting, I guess.”

Wirt smiled. “No, it is. I’m glad. I guess I just wish you were actually here. Y’know, so I could bully you for being a nerd.”

“Wow,” Dipper feigned offense. “This from a guy with encyclopedic poetry knowledge. I guess my doctorate is only good for tutoring high school calculus?”

“Humanities are essential, calculus is but a moment in time. How often do you use heavy math in your day-to-day life?”

Dipper bit his lip. “You do realize I’m a professional research scientist, right?”

Wirt frowned. “Whatever. I like poetry.”

“I know you do, nothing wrong with that. It’s really very cute. You should wax poetic to me sometime.”

Wirt eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t tempt me. And look who’s talking, you left a love note in my suitcase.”

Dipper only grinned back, simultaneously teasing and entirely earnest. “That just means I’ve got one up on you. C’mon, romance me, poet!”

“Are you two done being sappy in here? I need help with this.” Greg busted back into the room carrying an enormous binder and nudging his brother to the side.”’Scuse me, Wirt.”

Wirt handed his brother the phone. “I guess my services are no longer needed.”

Dipper laughed as Greg sat himself on the bed, smiling up at Wirt. “Don’t you worry, brother ‘o mine. I’ll be back when my next history essay is due.”

Wirt fended off his brother to grab his phone back, just for a moment. “Okay, I guess I’ll leave you two to it then.”

Dipper blew him a kiss. “I’ll talk to you later, babe.”

“BABE?”

Wirt ran his hand over his face. “Good lord. Okay, talk to you then. Love you.”

“Love you, too!” Dipper waved as he was handed back to Greg, Wirt slipping out of the room. “Okay, show me these problems.”

—

For the most part, the rest of the holiday week went off without a hitch. Wirt spent every moment with his brother and his parents to make up for lost time. He and Dipper spoke throughout the day through call or text, but the ache was definitely starting to take hold. Across the country, Dipper avoided his parents as much as he could, holing up in his room with Mabel and taking every excuse to leave the house. Once it got dark, he’d sneak out to his car or onto the roof to smoke and look up at the stars. As soon as Sunday came, Dipper scooped up Mabel and all their belongings, including the boxes of his childhood things, and said his goodbyes as quickly as he could.

Mabel was flying out from Oregon so that Dipper could drop her off and pick up Sara and Wirt in one sweep. She hugged him just a few moments too long once they got to the airport. Dipper’s heart broke a little when he heard her start to sniffle against his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s only a month,” he assured her, both of them politely ignoring the way his voice cracked. “It’ll be a better holiday. Sorry I was kind of out of it this week.”

“It’s fine,” she mumbled, pulling back. “I think I’m gonna come out earlier next month, hang out here for longer. It gets lonely out there.”

Dipper sighed. “It gets lonely here, too. You come out whenever you want, I’ll be here.”

They hugged again, both patting each other on the back. Mabel got out, grabbed her bags from the backseat, and waved goodbye to her brother. Dipper waved back, staying put until he couldn’t see her anymore.

Dipper switched gears from melancholy at losing his sister to excitement for seeing his boyfriend, anticipation taking hold as he waited for Wirt to land. He did his best to distract himself with an old puzzle from his box of toys until he got a text from Wirt, at which point he shot himself out of his car and toward the baggage claim.

Wirt and Sara trudged through the airport, exhausted but more than glad to be back and done traveling. Sara caught Wirt on his phone, knocking her shoulder into his. “God, you are so whipped. He’s literally downstairs, you’ll see him in two minutes.”

Wirt rolled his eyes, pocketing his phone and hiking his bag back onto his shoulders. “Leave me alone, I miss him, is that such a crime?”

“No, but it does consistently toe the line between adorable and annoying,” She snorted. “Besides, he’s my friend too. You should bring him around every once in a while. Try not to disappear into it, y’know?”

“Then invite him up once we get home,” Wirt countered, frustration shifting into relief once he spotted his boyfriend. “Here, c’mon!”

Wirt made his way through the crowd to get to Dipper, who was focused on solving a puzzle box until he caught Wirt out of the corner of his eye. Dipper ran to meet him, pulling him down for an immediate kiss as soon as he was within grabbing distance.

Sara let them be for a moment before tapping Wirt’s shoulder, muttering, “Dude, we are fully in an airport.” Wirt pulled back just to roll his eyes. “Whatever, I haven’t seen him in a week!”

Dipper laughed. “A whole week, however did we get by?” He grinned at Sara, hugging her with one arm, his other around Wirt. “How was the flight?”

“Oh my god, it was barely a week.” Sara groaned, hugging back. “Flight was okay, but I am so glad to be back and hopefully in my bed as soon as humanly possible.”

Dipper shifted to grab Wirt’s hand and guide them over to get their bags. “We can do that. Let me get you guys home.”

Dipper drove them toward Gravity Falls, telling them about his Thanksgiving once Sara got into the box of toys in the backseat. “You’ve got some good stuff in here,” she commented. “Even though your car absolutely reeks of weed.”

Dipper glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “Is it that bad?”

Wirt laughed from the passenger side, taking Dipper’s hand to place a kiss on it. “I love you so much. It’s so bad.”

Dipper laughed, chest tightening from Wirt’s affection. “I did what I had to do to get through the holiday. Here.” He lowered the windows and turned up the heat, cranking the radio along with it.

Wirt and Sara invited him up once they got back to their apartment. The two of them tried to stay awake as dinner was ordered and devoured, and Dipper offered to head out to let them get some rest. Wirt only grabbed his arm and held it tight, half asleep on the couch even as Sara cleaned up and said goodnight.

Dipper poked his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Let’s get you to bed, babe.”

Wirt only groaned. “I’m one with the couch. You’ll never take me alive.”

Dipper smirked, crouching in front of him. “Here, get on.”

Wirt eyed him suspiciously. “You’re not serious.”

“Try me.”

Wirt hesitated before deciding he was too tired to care and climbed onto Dipper’s back. Dipper stood up and made his way to Wirt’s room, reminding him to watch his head through the door, and dropped him gently onto the bed. Wirt couldn’t stop laughing as Dipper kicked off his shoes and flopped down beside him.

“You are so ridiculous,” Wirt giggled, catching his breath and trying to ignore his pounding heartbeat. Dipper tossed his cap on the floor and leaned onto his side to look Wirt in the eye, grinning all the way. “You love it.”

Wirt could only grin back as he pulled Dipper down by his shoulders to catch him in a kiss. He sighed, content to lay in bed with Dipper above him, hands roaming over his back to hold him close. Dipper pulled away after feeling Wirt start to lose momentum and chuckled when he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Okay, let’s get you all tucked in,” he joked, moving to undress him to get into bed. Wirt was very little help, taking off his sweater and immediately laying back down. Dipper groaned, fumbling with his pants. “Babe, help me out here.”

Wirt snorted, barely awake. “As if you need any help getting into my pants.”

“I’m not gonna jump you when you’re barely conscious.”

“That’s a first.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, exasperated and completely head over heels. “Wirt, the sooner we get you out of these the sooner you can go to sleep. C’mon, lift your hips.” Wirt complied, cackling as Dipper chucked the pants across the room. “I feel like I’ve been here before.”

Dipper raised an eyebrow. “In your bed?”

Wirt rolled his eyes. “No, you undressing me. It’s like deja vu.”

Dipper leaned up to help him get under the covers. “Well, unlike before, that’s as far as I’m going tonight.”

Wirt frowned, pulling Dipper down by his arm. “You’re no fun.”

“I’m lots of fun,” Dipper murmured, ducking down to kiss him, just for a moment. “And you are very loopy. Go to sleep.”

Wirt scrunched his brow in frustration. “Only if you stay.”

Dipper’s smile turned wobbly, kissing the tip of his boyfriend’s nose before leaning over to turn off the light. He stood for a moment to get undressed before getting back into bed, Wirt curling against him. “Love you,” Wirt mumbled, turning in Dipper’s arms to pull his head under his chin. Dipper grinned, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “Love you, too.”

—

By some minor miracle- or, as Dipper explained, Eastern Standard Time- Wirt had woken up much earlier than he needed to the next morning. Although it would have been nice to sleep in, Dipper took the opportunity to lay in bed with Wirt until he needed to leave without rushing for once. Wirt, head in Dipper’s lap and eyes closed, was happy to oblige.

“What are you gonna do now that your big paper’s done?” He mumbled, barely conscious of anything but the fingers running through his hair.

Dipper hummed in thought. “Well, I don’t have to submit any reports for a while, so I guess I’m just back on my bullshit. I was fiddling around with crystals before I started the paper, so I wanna brush up on my geology and look at rock compositions. I’m wondering if dirt and sediment violate yet another natural law in this godforsaken town.”

“That could be cool. I mean, there’s those little rock guys that destroyed my sense of safety in my own home.”

“Oh, you poor baby,” Dipper teased. “If you want, I’ll give you and Sara my little spiel about safety against anomalies so you’ll be prepared for whatever comes your way.”

Wirt smiled. “I think we’d like that.” He paused for a moment, trying to muster up the courage to ask him something that had been eating at him for weeks. “Hey, Dipper?”

“Yes, Wirt?”

Wirt took a deep breath. “When you were sick, you were telling me about your research. Um, but you were really out of it. You talked about the mindscape, and someone named Bill, but I wasn’t really sure what you meant, even though I could tell that it was something really traumatic.”

Dipper’s fingers froze in his hair.

Wirt steeled himself before continuing. “Look, I don’t wanna make you talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. I really don’t want to do anything to… to drive you away. Just- I love you, and I want you to be able to talk to me if you need to.”

Wirt held his breath. There, it’s all out in the open now.

Dipper took a minute before speaking. “No, I- I do. I do want to talk to you and be open about things. I kind of vaguely remember talking about… Bill.” He paused to clear his throat. “I know I was out of it, and to be honest the thing I remember from that conversation was the ‘I love you’ part.”

Wirt opened his eyes to look up at him, offering a smile, which Dipper returned, albeit nervously. He lifted one of his hands from Wirt’s hair to chew on his knuckle while he thought about what to say.

“There’s definitely a fear that it will scare you away, but I know that’s not fair because you trusted me to talk about The Unknown. Which means a lot to me. Um. The real fear here is… well, what did I tell you about? Like, can you remind me of what I said?”

Wirt blinked, recalling Dipper’s feverish mumblings. “You said he was like a demon. You said he went into your and your family’s minds, and that he possessed your body. And you said that you erased the memory of him. That he’s gone.” He reached up to take Dipper’s hand from his mouth and held it in his own. “I had to remind you that there was nobody else there. You were really freaked out.”

Dipper took a shaky breath. Wirt squeezed his hand. Dipper exhaled, squeezing back.

“Yeah. Okay. So, yes, all of that. Bill Cipher is- was- a chaos god who had absolute power in what’s called the nightmare realm. He had the ability to come into the mindscape, which is where dreams take place and enter people’s minds by making deals with them. But he could also observe anything through the mindscape. At any point, he could be just… watching.”

“Why would he be watching you?” Wirt asked, carefully.

“Well, when my great uncle Ford was first investigating Gravity Falls, he found himself stumped by the source of the weirdness. Bill approached him in a dream saying he knew why. So Ford constructed a portal to the nightmare realm. Ford thought this would give him answers, but Bill was trying to connect the dimensions so that he could wreak havoc over our own.”

Wirt noticed that Dipper was shaking. He took his hand and traced the lines of his palm, trying to ground him. It worked after a few moments, and Dipper began to speak again.

“There was… an accident. Ford got pushed into the portal, and it was destroyed. He was gone for over twenty years, stuck in another dimension. In the meantime, my Grunkle Stan took over his house and started the Mystery Shack. He was trying to make a living while he used Ford’s journals to reassemble the portal and get him back.”

“That explains the Mystery Shack.”

“Pretty much,” Dipper smirked. “Anyway, Stan only had the first journal. This dipshit kid who got mixed up with Bill had journal number 2, and I found journal number 3 in the woods. I spent all summer investigating it, trying to find out who the author was. Because Ford was gone, and Stan was impersonating him to get people off his tail. But shit kept going wrong. Bill… Bill possessed me. He said I was getting too close to what he was planning.” Dipper rubbed his eyes, sighing. “When we reopened the portal to get Ford back, we ripped a hole in our dimension. There was… well, an apocalypse. It was confined to the town. They called it Weirdmageddon.”

Wirt’s breath caught in his throat. “And it… it affected everyone, I guess.”

Dipper nodded. “It was really fucking scary. People were tortured by Bill, the town was overrun with monsters. In the end, Stan pretended to be Ford and let Bill into his mind. Once he was in, we erased Stan’s memory with Bill inside. He was gone.”

Wirt looked up at Dipper to find him blankly staring at the wall. He sat up and carefully guided Dipper forward so his head was on his shoulder.

“I… It’s hard to think about because we practically erased him from existence,” he mumbled. “I’ve regained most of my memory of it because of what I do. Stan got his memory back, too. The mayor passed this mandate that basically just told everybody to forget about it. But I don’t talk about it because the whole thing was that he was- well, everywhere. Ford’s whole thing was ‘trust no one’.” He chuckled, humorless. “I’ve been trying to unlearn that.”

Wirt hummed, running his hand up and down Dipper’s back as he slumped into him. “I can imagine. To an extent, I can relate.”

Dipper sighed. “I know you can. I feel like a dick for hiding it. You have no idea how glad I am that you trusted me to tell me about what happened to you. I’ve wanted to return the favor for so long, I just… I don’t think I ever have.”

Wirt smiled, kissing the top of his head. “Well then, thank you for trusting me.”

Dipper sat up, planting his lips on Wirt’s, just for a moment. “Thanks for being trustworthy. I love you.”

Wirt cupped his cheek. “I love you too.” He leaned in to kiss him again but stopped as he caught sight of the time on his phone. “Shit, I have to go.”

Dipper laughed, pulling him back in. “Ah, it can wait.”

Notes:

I know I copped out on Wirt calling Dipper kitten but tbh it's never been my favorite. Just the epilogue left!

Chapter 9: Epilogue

Christmas Eve

“These are molasses, and there should be peanut butter coming out of the oven soon.” Mabel placed yet another tray piled high with cookies on the living room table.

“Mabel, please. It’s like you’re fattening us up for the damn kill,” Dipper groaned, taking another cookie before going back to fall in Wirt’s lap in the armchair. Wirt laughed, taking the cookie from his hand. “Nobody is making you eat these, y’know.”

Greg leapt up from his space on the floor to grab the cookie from Wirt and cram it in his mouth before he could object. “Yeah!” He exclaimed, mouth full. “The rest of us are more than happy to help out.” Dipper chuckled at Greg scrambling to take as many cookies as he could hold before following Mabel into the kitchen, asking what else she was making. To the surprise of no one, Mabel and Greg had become immediate partners in crime in their mission of bullying their brothers.

Stan wandered in and scrubbed a hand over his face at the sight of more cookies on the table, even as Soos slipped past him to grab his own. “Good lord, someone stop her,” he grumbled.

“You’re telling me,” Dipper commiserated. “Can you pass me one?”

Stan tossed Dipper two cookies. “Way ahead of you.”

Wirt reached out to take one of the cookies only for Dipper to snatch it back. “Get your own,” he teased, licking both cookies to claim them as his own. Wirt, unphased, took one of them and ate it despite Dipper’s disgust. “Seriously? Those were mine!”

Wirt grinned, taking the other cookie. “If you stopped your bitching I wouldn’t need to step in like this. Maybe then you’ll realize that you have the power to not eat them at all.”

Dipper frowned, shoving his shoulder. “Nobody is making you teach me a lesson, either. Gorging myself on Mabel’s baked goods is a time-honored Pines tradition.”

Stan raised his arm, cookie in hand, not looking up from his newspaper. “Amen.”

Wirt only rolled his eyes. “Okay, well you have me and Greg to help so maybe you can stop your moaning.”

“Stan?” Dipper raised his hand, seamlessly catching yet another cookie tossed his way. “See? Never gonna happen, babe.”

Wirt and Greg had spent almost every day of their Christmas vacation at the Mystery Shack since Sara was back East. Wirt had initially been nervous about spending the holiday with Dipper’s whole family and Greg at the same time, but the shift into being part of the Pines’ dynamic had been damn near seamless. Mabel and Greg had clicked right away, teaming up for cookie madness even while Wirt asked why there were cookies in the first place.

"Aren’t you guys Jewish?"

"Any excuse to make and eat mountains of dessert is good enough for us."

While Stan had only begrudgingly accepted newcomers, it was becoming increasingly clear that he had complete trust in Dipper and Mabel to bring those newcomers in. In the same way that Dipper didn’t trust easily, Wirt could tell Stan was the same. They all were. But he came to realize that because Dipper trusted him and so clearly loved him, he really didn’t have all that much to prove. It was true what Mabel had told him all those months ago: He was in.

The one person Wirt hadn’t seen much of was Ford. He had heard a lot about him, and understood that Dipper was carrying on his legacy, but the man himself seemed very reserved. Apart from pleasantries, Wirt hadn’t really had a chance to talk to him at all. So when Ford poked his head into the room to pick Dipper’s brain about his research, Wirt let him go, figuring Dipper would tell him the gist later on. It didn’t matter much anyway, since Mabel and Greg came back into the living room, cookies in hand and demanding that Wirt turn on the TV.

“Ooh, The Duchess Approves! Grunkle Stan, you have to see this,” Mabel jumped up to grab Stan’s arm, not swayed by him shaking her off.

“Kid, please!” Stan scolded, batting her away. “The last thing I need is some stupid movie that’s just gonna remind me that I have a heart no matter how hard I try to swallow it.”

Mabel only rolled her eyes. “Cut the shit, I know it’s one of your favorites.”

“Don’t test me, I swear I’ll put on some Rankin/Bass monstrosity just to spite you,” Stan threatened, reaching for another cookie.

Mabel yanked the plate away. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I’ve never seen it!” Greg piped up. “Wirt, I bet you’d like it. We should watch it!” Wirt had been carefully silent, knowing that an Old Hollywood romance would leave him more vulnerable than he was comfortable being with this group of people. But he also couldn’t hide his intrigue. “Whatever you want, Greg. I’ll watch it if it’s on, but I’m good with whatever.”

“That’s a yes!” Mabel cheered. She plopped back down next to Greg, about to turn up the volume when there was a knock at the door and Wendy slipped in. Waddles, previously asleep in the corner, ran up to greet her.

“Oof, Waddles, down boy,” she gently shooed him away from digging into her pockets before looking up to greet everybody. “Hey guys! Dipper around?”

“I’ll go grab him,” Wirt stood up. “By the way, this is my brother Greg. He’s staying with me for the holidays.”

Wendy sat down on the floor next to Greg and held out her fist. “Nice to meet you, Greg! I’m Wendy.” Greg grinned and bumped her fist with his own. “Hi! We’re watching a movie, you should hang out!”

Wirt went down to Ford’s study and knocked. After a moment, Dipper opened the door. “Hey! Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Wendy’s here and wanted to talk to you.” He raised his eyebrow at Dipper, who chuckled in response. “Tch, I bet she does. Guess I’ll be a while.” Dipper turned back to Ford, who gave him a thumbs up in response, before kissing Wirt on the cheek as he passed him and went back down the hall. Wirt waved after him, lovestruck until Ford cleared his throat.

“Oh- uh, sorry,” Wirt said, blushing and completely unsure how to address the one person he had barely spoken to all week. Luckily, Ford smiled and waved him in. Wirt shuffled in, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the couch.

Ford pushed his glasses onto his nose. “I want to first apologize for being so distant. I often have trouble inviting new people in, but Dipper has told me a lot about you. He’s a big fan of yours.”

Wirt’s ears burned. “No worries, I’m often the same. I’m a big fan of his, too.” He did his best to keep his voice from wavering. “Um, but he’s told me a lot about you too, and your work, and his work. I recognize the gravity of what you both do, even though I’ll admit I don’t always understand it.”

Ford smiled. “It can be a lot. Dipper… Dipper is like me in a lot of ways, but more refined. He’s much more open and approachable than I ever was. Brave, too. He jumps into things in a way that I struggle with. But also like me, he’s very careful and calculated. He told me that you know about Bill, and that you also had a frightening experience, although he didn’t tell me what it was.” He held up his hand as Wirt opened his mouth, prepared to defend himself. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask. I know better now than to ask.” Wirt relaxed, relieved to not have to retell his time in the Unknown even though he was sure Ford would be an understanding listener.

“I just wanted to thank you, I suppose,” Ford mused. “Our experience with Bill… it’s very difficult to describe, and troublesome to recount. I can’t tell you how glad I am that he has someone to listen to him, especially as engrossed as he is in his work. When I was doing what he’s doing, I didn’t have anyone. If he trusts you, so do I. So do we.”

Wirt froze for a moment, unsure of how to respond. “I… Of course. I mean, I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to. I have a lot of respect for him doing what he does. Like, I love him of course, but more than that I’m… I guess in awe of him.” He laughed nervously. “I don’t know if I’d call him refined, but careful and calculated is definitely true. I know how lucky I am.”

“He’s lucky, too,” Ford smiled. “You both are.” They both heard Mabel shouting about cookies from the other room, and Ford laughed, rising from his desk. “I think we’re being summoned. Hopefully you have a sweet tooth.”

Wirt chuckled. “I’m growing to. She’s a bit of a menace with these cookies though.”

“Son, you have no idea.”

Wirt followed Ford back into the fray, glancing at Greg and Stan, both engrossed and weeping at the movie on TV. He smiled to himself before snagging his coat and sneaking into the gift shop, climbing the ladder to the roof. He followed the sound of chatter to find Dipper and Wendy sitting on the edge of the roof, passing a joint back and forth and tossing stray pinecones at the totem pole in the parking lot. Wendy noticed him out of the corner of her eye, elbowing Dipper. “Hey, look who’s here!”

Dipper turned his head, lighting up at the sight of his boyfriend. “It’s Wirt!” He laughed, clearly more than a little stoned as he bumped Wendy with his shoulder. “Y’know this guy? I love this guy.”

Wirt sat down beside them, picking up a pinecone and hitting the bullseye on the totem pole. Dipper cheered, Wendy cackling beside him. “Okay, now I also love this guy.”

“Bummer he’s mine,” Dipper joked. Wendy grinned. “All yours, dude. I should probably head back inside.” She passed what was left of the joint to Dipper before standing, pulling down the bill of his cap and heading back inside with a final wave and wink to Wirt. Wirt waved back before looking up and seeing Dipper take a pull, face burning as he tried to ignore how hot that was.

“Man, I’m so glad you’re here,” Dipper said, exhaling. “Like, in general. I feel like I’ve been spreading the gospel of Wirt all week.”

Wirt laughed, taking what was left of the joint from Dipper’s hand and putting it out. “So I’ve heard. I was just talking to Ford.”

Dipper snorted. “Oh yeah? That guy is so weird. Like, I really admire him, but he’s definitely a weirdo.”

Wirt smiled and laid his hand over Dipper’s. “In the absolute kindest way possible, it takes one to know one. He was telling me about how you two are alike, but you’re like, the better version.”

Dipper chuckled, taking his hat off to run a hand through his hair. “He’s always saying shit like that. And like, I’m flattered, but the older I get, the more I realize how useless it is to just force yourself to be alone. It took him his whole life to get to that point, but I don’t know.” He paused to interlace his fingers with Wirt’s, lean against him, and look up at the stars. “Guess I got lucky.”

Wirt grinned, squeezing his hand and turning his gaze to the sky. “So did I.”

Notes:

Thanks for sticking with me! Like I said, this is the first fic I've ever published, so thanks to everyone who read this outrageously sappy narrative :)

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Down By the Shack