Chapter Text
Ava fucked up.
Like catastrophically, end of the world type of fuck up.
And it all started because of a boy.
Some context, Ava’s going through what Mary called, “a dry spell.” By this she of course means that its been embarrassingly long since Ava got laid. Its not that she can’t find someone to have sex with, its rather the fact that there is one person she wants.
One person which she can absolutely, by no means have; Beatrice.
Her best friend since their first year at university. Ava was new to the country, having received this fancy scholarship to the University of Edinburgh in Scotland. Part of the main reason as to why she accepted it is because when she googled it the place looked like a castle or some shit.
She was not let down.
Bumping into Beatrice and almost dropping her laptop bag and spilling an iced latte onto her, was maybe not the best first impression.
She was running late and wasn’t paying attention. Purely her fault, and she said that to Beatrice…after grunting out a very aggressive, “the fuck dude?”
Long story short, Beatrice insisted on buying Ava a new drink and Ava sheepishly apologised. She was so mesmerised by her voice and her eyes and her serious face that she completely forgot about her lecture.
And its not like she became friends with Beatrice just under 3 years ago, with some ulterior motive to sleep with her. She genuinely enjoyed the other girls company, and she maybe didn’t realise until a year into the friendship that she was crushing, hard.
Beatrice is so fucking hot and its slowly driving Ava insane.
It doesn’t help by any means that Beatrice works part time at a local gym, as well as trains there with Lilith. So occasionally whenever Ava sees her in a sports bra and gets a glimpse at the tanned stomach, she has to pretend like she’s not screaming inside.
It’s rough.
But it’s the way that things have to be because there’s no way in hell that Beatrice would be attracted to Ava.
Beatrice is put together. She was probably one of those 12 year olds that had a dream board pinned above their head so that they could stare at it as they fell asleep. She does extra curriculars, volunteers, fuck-she’s studying law for god’s sake.
Ava had burnt toast for dinner last night.
They’re two very different people.
It would ruin things anyway and she’s stupid for being hung up on it but Beatrice just makes it really hard.
So she decides to try and move on, distract herself from Beatrice. A master plan is formed but it goes south far too quickly for her liking.
Ava shuts her laptop with a groan and checks her phone, she bites her lip when she sees the notification JC. He’s a classmate of hers in her computing class. A fuckboy, if you will. He flirts with her relentlessly and recently Ava’s been flirting back, she’s allowed to anyway. It doesn’t hurt anyone, and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to get laid.
She opens the snap and raises her brows at the mirror pic he sent, shirtless, obviously. Showcasing washboard abs. He hasn’t captioned it but it’s a bold, seeing as she’s only snapped him a flirty message prior. No previous sexting had taken place. It seems as though he’s pretty eager to move forward with their “thing.”
About to reply she gets a notification at the top of her screen and smiles when she sees the notification is from Beatrice. She exits from JC’s page and swipes to see what she’s texted.
Bea (18:24)
Hey, I’m at the gym with Lilith and she mentioned you having burnt toast for dinner?
Tell me she’s joking.
(18:25) Ava
Bea shes lying it wasnt completely burnt
Bea (18:25)
Ava.
(18:25) Ava
ok so what? its not a crime, at least it wasnt pop tarts again
Bea (18:25)
Only because I specifically told Camilla to make sure to keep track of your pop tart consumption.
(18:26) Ava
wait thats why my pop tarts have been disappearing
u turned my roommate against me
how dare you
I’m telling Mary
Bea (18:26)
Mary’s here with me
(18:26) Ava
fuck
Bea (18:26)
Mhm.
(18:27) Ava
how the fuck do you manage to sound judgemental over text
bea pls be nice to me
i’m an orphan
Bea (18:27)
Don’t you dare pull the orphan card. You did that on Tuesday so that I would buy you donuts.
You know you can only use it once a week.
(18:28) Ava
your right
Bea (18:28)
*You’re.
(18:28) Ava
istg
Bea (18:28)
Why are your caps off? Why don’t you use correct grammar? It makes it harder to
decrypt your messages.
(18:28) Ava
Bea there are people dying
Bea (18:28)
Like yourself if you continue to eat poorly?
(18:29) Ava
It’s the poor and starving college kid aesthetic bea, im trying to fit in here smh
Bea (18:29)
It’s been three years.
(18:29) Ava
and?
Bea (18:30)
Listen, what I’m trying to get at is that I don’t want you wasting away, so
let me take you out for dinner one night.
A proper one and I’ll pay.
Ava blinks at the text and feels her palms begin to sweat because surely this is a platonic thing right. Friends buy each other dinner.
But why does this feel so different?
The way Beatrice is sounding, “take you out for dinner one night.” Girl? That sounds like a date, but surely it isn’t. Beatrice wouldn’t ask someone on a date over text anyway, would she? Ava feels so torn because her gut is telling her that there is something here, but her brain is telling her that its just wishful thinking. She’s being stupid.
Beatrice’s bitmoji stares tauntingly at her, its face peeking out from behind the keyboard, patiently waiting for a response.
Ava licks her lips and types her reply.
Just keep it friendly, she thinks.
Her thumbs smudge on the screen as they type, nervous sweat that’s becoming more and more common in situations involving Beatrice.
(18:32) Ava
dude any chance for free food I’m in
Bea (18:33)
How about Saturday, Café St Honoré, I’ll pick you up?
(18:33) Ava
yeah sounds good
Bea (18:33)
Great, I’ll see you tomorrow at Mary’s?
(18:34) Ava
of course
She exits out of the app and drops her phone onto her bed with a sigh. Her head thumps back against the pillows and the bed creaks nervously as her back thuds back against the mattress.
Fuck me.
The sound of Camilla pottering around their flat catches her attention and she wonders what the girl would make of this. Ava won’t tell her of course, because then Camilla will meddle. She’ll get this gleeful look in her eyes and this small little smirk that makes Ava’s stomach drop in dread every time she sees it. The sly smirk of a mastermind meddler. That smirk that says, “I know something you don’t.
Don’t get her wrong, she loves Camilla (like a sister obviously), but good god the gossip that she spreads. If Ava informed her of her little crush, then suddenly everyone and their mother would know and be in on it.
Its not what she needs right now in her life, if she’s being completely honest.
She’s in her third year here, completing a degree in artificial intelligence and computer science. When she tells people that, there’s often two responses. The “holy shit you make robots?” or “so like Penelope Garcia?” Both of which Ava will confidently say yes to. It began as a hobby when she was bouncing between foster homes, when all she had was her two hoodies, one pair of leggings and a hole poked t-shirt. Of course, she also had her prized possession, her beaten laptop which she won in a bet. She used her skills for good of course, sometimes blacklisting certain foster homes after hearing what they did to some kids she knew.
Maybe she also engaged in some illegal activities for cash. So what? The shitty government chucked her in the system, wouldn’t help her out of it and simply ignored the problems they had. They wouldn’t miss the $100 she’d gather once every few weeks to buy herself some essentials.
But now she can practice her craft at a place that wants her. At the prestigious University of Edinburgh. Where it’s a variety of accents and cultures and expectations.
And the seagulls are fucking massive.
A buzz from her phone makes her head snap up to look at it.
JC again. Ava never replied to him.
She opens it and her eyes scan unfazed over the text, basically him saying how he thinks she’s so hot, how she should come and see him, blah blah blah. The usual.
Gnawing on her lip, she makes the decision and sits up, tugging her jumper over her head and changing out of her sports bra into a lacy one. Not her best, and not a sheer one, but one that pushes her tits up and makes them look fucking fantastic.
Ava reclines back on the bed and arranges herself, arching her back slightly off the bed, jutting her chin up confidently at the phone and biting her lip. The movement makes the swell of her breasts more prominent and the picture cuts off just before it reaches her toned stomach.
Fuck it, she retakes it, instead giving half lidded sex eyes at the camera, trying her very best to feel somewhat interested by JC.
Her free hand is cut off by the frame, but she runs it down her stomach, so its left to the imagination about that its doing down there.
A click fills the room and she grins, checking it over. She looks hot.
Ava writes a caption, thinking of you.
Ok, blue arrow, her contact list, recent snaps. Her thumb quickly selects JC’s Bitmoji and she lets out a puff of air as it sends.
What’s the harm in it, right?
Ava rolls off the bed and throws her jumper back on, skipping through to the kitchen to grab some water and a snack before returning to her room. She steps over a pile of clothes on her floor and tries to not trip up over her converse that half-hazardously strewn across the carpet. An empty red bull can is kicked under the bed, before she flops onto it again.
Her phone.
No reply from JC, which is weird because she replied pretty quickly to his most recent text. She frowns and opens the app, swiping left to look at her contacts and sighs when she sees the little red arrow there.
Unopened.
She’s about to message Beatrice again to bother her when her thumb clicks the second most recent contact and she frowns when she realises that she clicked on JC. Their last conversation is the text her sent her, her snaps not here.
Oh god.
Ava gulps and swipes back to look at the top contact who she sent the picture to, and a loud noise of distress escapes the back of her throat. Beatrice. She sexted Beatrice, her best friend.
“No, no, no, no,” she breathes, refreshing the page as though that will change anything. Blood rushes in her ears, panic rises in her throat and her eye fucking twitches because this is mortifying. This could ruin everything.
She must have selected Beatrice as the recent contact to snap, she didn’t properly look.
The phone is switched off and dropped on the bed as Ava runs her hands down her face in despair, cheeks burning red with embarrassment.
No.
This is fine she can fix this. She can hack things for goodness sake, this is fine. She picks the phone back up and takes a deep breath before opening the app.
It’s not fine.
You can delete unopened snaps which are messages, but photos and videos? No.
Why?
Fuck knows, but Ava’s having a meltdown over it.
It only get worse when she sees the arrow change, because Beatrice has opened the snap. Ava bites her fist and squeezes her eyes shut, fully prepared to make a joke about the entire thing. But then Beatrice does the unexpected.
Bea replayed your snap.
Ava’s eyes almost shoot out of her head and she’s pretty sure she’s stopped breathing. Why the fuck would she replay it? Did she like it? Is she re-reading the caption, which was very much not intended for her, maybe she’s-
A red box appears next to Beatrice’s name and Ava’s jaw drops.
She squeaks and hurls the phone across her room, falling to the side to hide her face in her comforter like that’ll make fucking difference.
Beatrice replied with her own snap?
What the fuck.
Slowly, she slides off the bed and cautiously approaches the phone like it’s a wild animal and sits on her floor, staring at it. What the fuck will the snap be? Shaky fingers press on the little red box and Ava’s jaw drops when it opens.
Beatrice is at the gym, which she mentioned in her text.
So why is Ava so surprised to see a picture of her there, in front of one of the floor to ceiling mirrors in her short shorts and sports bra.
Ava gulps at the display of tanned and muscular skin. Beatrice holds the phone casually so that it blocks some of her stomach, much to Ava’s disappointment and her face is cut off the top. Various people mill around in the background or work on different exercise machines but Ava only has eyes for her. Sweat glistening over skin and slipping into dips and curves and Ava might pass out.
Never, has Beatrice been known to send pictures of herself.
So why now?
Ava’s hands hover over the screen because what does she do? The timer runs out and she groans in disappointment when the picture disappears from the screen, but its fine because that image is seared in her mind forever.
She just takes a generic picture of her face zoomed in as a reply and sends it, hoping that Beatrice just won’t look too much into this whole thing.
(19:01) Ava
looking good, gym busy tonight?
With bated breath she waits for a reply, stomach in knots and she jumps when her phone buzzes.
Bea (19:04)
Just a few regulars, did you get that assignment finished?
So, there’s no talk about whatever the fuck just happened. Did they just sext? No, surely not.
(19:04) Ava
i would but someone distracted me ;)
Bea (19:05)
On the contrary darling, I would say that it was the other way around.
Ava’s breath stills at that and her thumbs hover over the keyboard, unsure how to respond. Luckily, she’s saved by another text by Beatrice.
Bea (19:05)
Anyway, I better get back to it, please finish your assignment and eat proper food!
(19:05) Ava
sir yes sir!
Ava closes the app and lets her head smack into her knees and tries to resist the urge to curl up into a ball and die. She pinches her thigh to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming and much to her chagrin, she isn’t.
So, this is real.
And she has to see Beatrice tomorrow at Mary’s.
xXx
Ava stands shoulder to shoulder with Camilla in the kinda dingy elevator.
It looks like a safety hazard and she bets £20 that at least one person has died here. The bumpy metal floor has a weird stain in one corner and the metal walls are scraped and smudged. The mirror behind them is cracked in a few places and the lift shudders every time they pass the third floor.
They could take the stairs, but they never do.
She taps her foot nervously, converse tapping loudly against the sticky floor and Camilla keeps giving her the side eye.
When the lift stops at Mary’s floor, the doors shudder open and Ava practically squeezes through the gap into the hallway before they’re finished opening because there’s no way she’s spending another minute of hell in there.
The hallways not much better, with its scuffed dark green carpet and flickering yellow light, Ava always feels like she’s two seconds away from being victim to some sort of crime.
Her heart pounds as they approach Mary’s door.
Maybe Beatrice isn’t here yet, maybe she’ll have some time to prepare herself for the inevitable awkward conversation, maybe she’ll-
“Ava?”
She hums questionably and turns to look at Camilla, who stares back with concern.
“You stopped,” and she points to Ava’s feet which, surprise surprise, seem to be rooted to the spot of carpet on which she stands. “Is…everything ok?”
What a loaded question.
Ava’s hands curl into a fist and she takes a deep breath, before turning and laying her hands on Camilla’s shoulders.
Her next words come out in a rush before she can stop herself.
“I sexted Beatrice.”
Camilla’s jaw drops and her eyes bulge out of her head. She rapidly swings her head around to check to see if anyone’s near, before leaning in close to Ava, looking up at her seriously.
“What do you mean you, sexted Beatrice?” Her voice is low and her eyes stare suspiciously up at Ava’s. “Did she, reply?”
Ava’s silence speaks about a thousand words and Camilla’s squeal probably cracks more of the mirror in the elevator which sits dormant behind them.
“No listen-”
“God Lilith owes me like 20 pounds, Mary 10 pounds, oh and Yasmine-”
“Camilla,” Ava starts, her voice firm and her hands squeeze her friends shoulders in warning. “It was meant for JC.”
Now, out of everyone in their friend group, Ava’s not known for her subtlety or her lack of expression. Camilla comes in a close second because her face screws up when she hears the name and gives Ava a doubtful look.
“It was!” Ava exclaims and sighs, glancing at Mary’s door, a couple of feet away. “I just need some-”
“Dick? Because Ava there’s literally anybody else to choose from,” Camilla deadpans and Ava guffaws, pushing her away lightly. Camilla giggles but it fades quickly and she looks serious again and Ava just wants to go home and crawl into bed and watch a borderline homoerotic teen movie from the early 2000’s.
“I know you like Beatrice, and that’s ok,” Camilla starts empathetically and Ava chuckles nervously, sticking her hands in her coat pocket and rocking on her heels, confidently shaking her head.
“Beatrice, our Beatrice? Camilla I think you’re mistaken,” Ava says super smoothly, not at all having a meltdown inside.
The girl is about to open her mouth again when Mary’s door opens and Mary pops her head out, looking around until she finally spots them. She frowns and gestures for them to come closer.
“The fuck you guys doing lurking out here all suspicious?” She says, eyeing them, visibly lighting up when she sees the sixpack of beers in Camilla’s arms. “On second thought, come on in!”
Ava steps through the doorway and sheds her jacket, hanging it up and making her way into the living room. She gets as far as nodding to Lilith and smiling at Yasmine before she sees Beatrice and freezes.
Beatrice in her soft green wool jumper and slacks, speaking in soft tones to Shannon.
She’s so pretty.
And Ava’s so fucked.
She turns her head slightly and sees Ava. Now, to anyone else it would look like she’s giving her a small, reserved smile. Polite or civil, even. But to Ava, she sees the twist of the lips, the crinkle of her eyes where the little smile lines peek out from the corners.
Its special and its between them and Ava’s heart runs a marathon because she doesn’t know what to do.
So, she does what she does best, she bails.
Ava turns and practically snatches the six pack from Camilla and shoots her and Mary a pained smile, “hey, I’ll take these through to the kitchen for you,” and she scurries away.
It’s pathetic.
She leans her hands on the counter and shuts her eyes, breathing in deeply and hanging her head. The six pack now resting safely in the very expensive fridge which in no way matches the rest of Mary and Shannon’s apartment.
Apparently it was one of the few things Shannon brought when she moved in with Mary.
The soft hum of the fridge washes over her and she drowns out the boisterous laughter of her friends in the next room.
Her eyes snap open at the sound of footsteps and her back stiffens when she hears them approaching her. A familiar hand is laid on the counter near hers and she supresses a shudder when she hears the low and husky,
“Hi darling.”
Ava shoots up with an overly enthusiastic smile and leans her hip on the counter, trying so, so hard to ignore how close they are right now. The space between them, or lack thereof, feels painfully obvious.
“Hey Bea!” She grins happily and stares up at her favourite person in the entire world.
The woman very obviously looks Ava up and down.
Is she checking me out?
“How-how’re things?” She asks casually, valiantly keeping her eyes from staring at Beatrice’s neck. Trying to block out the image of kissing the hallow of her throat, nipping at her collarbones, sucking at her pulse point.
Beatrice looks at Ava the way she always does, with gentle hazel eyes, curious in nature, but they always seem to soften when she looks at Ava. It makes Ava’s heart race every time.
“They’re better now that you’re here,” she smiles and Ava’s knees wobble at that because why the fuck is she being so forward. “I was nervous that I’d have to be Mary’s partner for Monopoly.”
Ava snorts at that and nods, “yeah no I can see why that would worry you.”
Beatrice seems to smile wider at that, “she flipped the board last time,” she murmurs and Ava chuckles, reaching into one of the cupboards for a glass.
“She did,” Ava says through her laugh and runs the tap, needing a glass of water because her throat is always dry around Beatrice. Her laugh dies when she meets Beatrice’s eyes and sees the way that the other woman is looking at her.
Soft.
She wants to badly to kiss her, to just close the distance between them. It would be so easy, but she knows deep down that it would ruin their friendship, it would make it awkward. Ava couldn’t bear to do that because then it means that they wouldn’t want to be around each other at gatherings like this. One of them would eventually stop showing up and deep down she fears that it’ll be Beatrice.
Because she’s not like Ava, she doesn’t really choose to hang out with friends, she’s always invited but she never makes the first move. Ava’s the one who invited her to game night for the first time, Ava’s the one who introduced her to Yasmine, where they both bonded over their love for classic literature.
She can’t, by any means, fuck this up.
“…Ava,” Beatrice’s voice breaks through her thoughts and Ava jerks when she feels cold water on her hands and realised that the glass is full and now spilling.
“Oh shit,” she hisses, turning off the tap and tipping some water out, avoiding Beatrice’s eyes. “I was thinking about something,” she chuckles nervously, taking a sip and almost wincing at how cold it is.
“I could tell,” Beatrice murmurs, watching her carefully and Ava swears for a second that her gaze drops to Ava’s lips.
This needs to stop before Ava does something she’ll regret.
“So! We gonna kick their asses at Monopoly or what?” She forces a smile, brushing past Beatrice and making her way into the living room, Beatrice close on her heels.
She hears Beatrice mutter her name quietly in protest but Ava ignores her, instead finally greeting Shannon with a big hug and then plonking herself down on the floor, in front of the armchair which Beatrice was previously stood by. She hesitantly sits on it, and Ava can feel concerned eyes on her. Her knee is by Ava’s cheek, so she presses her face into it momentarily, like she always does.
The touch makes Beatrice relax and her muscles loosen.
They’re ok.
Game night goes on with Lilith and Camilla, Shannon and Yasmine, Beatrice and Ava as partners and Mary playing ref, making sure that nobody (Ava) cheats. Pizza arrives at some point and everyone complains because Ava forgets to wipe her greasy hands before grabbing the dice and she feels Beatrice’s hand at the nape of her neck.
It’s perfect.
Insults are hurled at each other and Lilith and Ava at some point start wrestling before Mary pulls them apart and deducts 10 Monopoly’s from each of them. It was a rule established long ago when everyone realised how seriously Lilith and Ava took the game.
The night goes on and eventually Ava is settles between Beatrice’s legs, the woman above her continues to play with her hair absentmindedly, apparently unaware of the silent conversations that Camilla and Ava have.
She keeps making eyes at Ava, knowing eyes, as in “I know you have a massive fucking crush on your best friend,” eyes.
Ava pointedly ignores her and pops another pretzel in her mouth.
Her and Beatrice never bring up the photo.
That is, until it happens again.
xXx
A few days later she’s leaving her class when JC calls out after her.
“Hey, Ava!”
Ava spins and looks up from her phone, sending him a bright smile.
“JC, what’s up?”
He shrugs and looks around them before putting a hand on her elbow, “can we go somewhere quieter?”
She nods and he leads her out onto a bench on a patch of grass. Students still walk around, busy chatting about classes or complaining about teachers. He sits opposite her and has this really fucking smug look on his face that makes her conceal a grimace.
They’ve never really had a proper conversation in person, only polite conversations during lectures or her brushing off his flirty comments.
“So…I’ve been thinking, maybe we could go out some time,” he asks, tapping his hands against the bench and tilting his head at her, squinting at the harsh sunlight.
“Um,” is all she can say. Her instinct says no, but her head is telling her that maybe she needs this. Maybe a date or hook up with someone is all she needs to finally get over this thing she has for Beatrice.
But is JC the right person?
Ava pulls the scarf tighter around her neck and just as she’s about to let him down gently when she sees a familiar figure behind him, across the field.
Beatrice.
With a girl, a pretty girl. Scratch that, a really fucking hot girl.
Ava frowns when she lips her head back in laughter, a hand going to grab Beatrice’s arm and Beatrice lets her. Beatrice who’s funny about personal space with most people. She leans in to say something to the girl, looking quite content.
Nails dig into the wood and Ava turns back to JC, unclenching her jaw and forcing a cheerful smile his way.
“You know what? Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”
He lights up and leans forward, “really?” He says almost in disbelief, but she can see the confidence in his body, he wasn’t worried for a second.
Huffing out a short laugh, Ava nods her head, “really.”
The girl with Beatrice moves in closer and whispers something in her ear, to which Beatrice nods enthusiastically and Ava feels a stab of cold in her chest.
“…so, Saturday?”
She looks back to his gleeful smile and quickly nods her head again. “Yeah, Saturday’s great,” she says absentmindedly, not really paying attention.
JC does a fist pump in the air and Ava tries not to show the face she wants to pull at the sight. He leans over the bench to smack a kiss against her cheek and pulls back with a flirty smile.
“See you then, wear something hot,” and he’s off, jogging to catch up with some friends and Ava’s smile falls into a frown.
She tries to ignore how his stubble scratched her cheeks or how his lips were rough and cracked. How his smile was to wide and cocky and how his eyes were almost always on her chest.
She ignores how awful she feels at the idea of Beatrice being interested in someone.
Now, she doesn’t have high hopes for this date, but she’s going to put in the effort.
So, she’s trying on outfits.
She’s wearing a short, deep red dress which shows off enough cleavage that its not too desperate but not too tame as well. It’s also strapless so her shoulders and collarbones are on show.
Grabbing her phone, she takes a picture of herself in it, in a mirror, to send to JC. To ask him what he thought. She captions it, looking forward to Saturday, that do you think?
They’d been messaging since their talk two days ago, he sent a lot of shirtless selfies, maybe in hopes of Ava replying with one of her own. Which she didn’t, but its not to say that she maybe didn’t tease him with a few snaps herself.
Listen, she’s a simple girl. Compliments are great to hear, and do amazing things to her ego. So, when JC texts, “your so beautiful,” she tries to enjoy it, but in the back of her mind she thinks of Beatrice and how she’s be so annoyed at how he used the wrong “you’re.”
Just as she takes a picture of herself, she gets a notification from Beatrice which she ignores and presses the blue arrow to send. It opens up her contacts and just as she goes to press on JC’s icon, the door of the flat slams and she jumps.
Her thumb hits the screen, and she switches the phone off, chucking it on her bed and wrenching her bedroom door open. She sees Camilla, with her back against the front door, breathing heavily.
“You good?” Ava asks slowly and Camilla’s eyes widen when she sees her outfit.
“Why are you wearing that?”
“Camilla, door?”
The girl nods and steps away from it, hands in her hair and she sits down heavily, on the couch.
“I kissed Lilith,” she breathes out and Ava’s jaw drops.
“You did what-”
About half an hour is spent dealing with that before Ava can make it back to her room and open snapchat, smiling when she sees a notification from Beatrice, she taps it and frowns at the message.
Bea (16:11)
I’m looking forward to Saturday too, and you look beautiful darling.
What the fuck.
Ava’s eyes widen when she sees the outline of a red box above Beatrice’s message and she can’t believe this has happened again, like what are the fucking odds that she sent another message to Beatrice which was intended for JC.
But what is she talking about for Saturday? Ava has a date with JC.
She scrolls up through their texts over the past few days and her heart stops when she sees the message from Beatrice a few days ago.
Bea
How about Saturday, Café St Honoré, I’ll pick you up?
Oh Silva you fucking idiot.
“No,” she breathes out, staring at the message in complete and utter despair.
(16:30) Ava
hey im such an idiot I need to tell u something
Bea (16:31)
Go on?
(16:31) Ava
so uh that message wasn’t meant for u
it was for jc
he asked me out on a date on Saturday
Bea (16:32)
Oh.
(16:32) Ava
fuck im so sorry
ill cancel it
u planned a thing first and im stupid for forgetting about it
Bea (16:33)
No, Ava please don’t cancel your date. You deserve to have a nice time.
We’ll do dinner another night, I promise.
(16:33) Ava
u sure?
Bea (16:33)
Completely sure, I stand by what I said before.
(16:34) Ava
which is?
Bea (16:34)
That you looked beautiful.
(16:34) Ava
you’re sweet
Bea (16:35)
I’m telling the truth.
(16:35) Ava
do you think you could help me with something
Bea (16:35)
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times.
I’m not helping you hide a body.
(16:36) Ava
har har har
no
its not crime related
I need helping picking lingerie
Bea (16:36)
I thought Camilla was your go-to for this sort of thing?
(16:36) Ava
she’s too busy having a gay panic rn
Bea (16:37)
Because she kissed Lilith?
(16:37) Ava
how tf do u know that
Bea (16:37)
Because I live and work with Lilith and she’s also stress pacing on a treadmill.
Anyway, lingerie?
(16:37) Ava
right!
ill send a snap of them laid out on my bed
Ava takes a snap of her black, white and red lacy sets, laid out on her duvet and sends it to Beatrice, who replies so quick and so sure that something in Ava’s stomach twists.
Bea (16:39)
The red.
But maybe you should try it on first?
This feels like they’re toeing the line, but Ava without hesitation, takes off the dress and pulls the lace pants up her legs and puts on the strapless bra. She takes a mirror pick and sends it quickly to Beatrice, aware that this is probably the most skin Beatrice has ever seen of hers.
Bea (16:43)
Would the bra not show on the dress, because of the dip?
Oh shit, Ava hadn’t considered that.
(16:43) Ava
so no bra
Bea (16:43)
No bra.
Ava’s chest burns and she reaches behind to undo the clasp of the bra, letting it fall and she gulps. She holds her phone up to the mirror and turns her body a little, so she can see her ass and uses her free hand to cover up her tits.
It can barely hold them, and the curve of her breast is obvious in the mirror as she takes the snap.
But this is fine. This is normal.
Friends ask each other for fashion advice all of the time.
(16:45) Ava
so this?
She watches as Beatrice types and then stops. Her bitmoji popping up and hiding again. Pops up and hides again. At one point it disappears completely, and it seems as though she’s exited the entire app. Oh fuck did Ava mess up? She shouldn’t have sent that; Beatrice is probably super uncomfortable and-
Bea (16:50)
Perfect.
xXx
Its Friday and Ava meets Beatrice at the library to study.
Beatrice is serious about her studying and Ava totally is too. But she’s also serious about watching Beatrice study, because that’s far more interesting than coding.
Brows furrow when she reaches a certain passage in the book and Ava wants nothing more than to reach across and run her thumb over the crinkle between her eyebrows. She watches as Beatrice runs a finger down the page, muttering under her breath and Ava rests her head on her chin to watch.
Opposite from her, Beatrice shakes her head and skips to the next page, face relaxing as she reads the new passage.
God she’s so pretty.
As though she can hear Ava’s thoughts, her eyes snap up to look at her. Ava’s dreamy smile drops and Beatrice eyes her suspiciously.
“Why are you staring at me?”
“Because you’re hot,” Ava replies unabashedly and revels in the way that Beatrice’s cheeks turn pink and how she ducks her head.
She scoffs and shakes her head, avoiding Ava’s gaze and continues working before glancing up and tapping Ava’s computer.
“Do your work,” her voice is firm and chiding, and Ava crosses her legs at the sound of it.
The concentration lasts about 5 minutes before Ava glances up at Beatrice again. She’s just so bored and Beatrice is so hot and life isn’t fair. She huffs and closes the laptop, rounding the table and plops down in the chair next to Beatrice.
She pulls her knees up to her chest and watches Beatrice work until Beatrice gives her a dirty look. Ava sighs and starts to drum her hands on the table.
10 seconds.
20 seconds.
30 seconds.
“Ok what is it?” Beatrice finally asks, turning to face Ava.
“Bea I’m so bored,” she groans, and the other woman rolls her eyes.
“Well, find something to do.”
I want to do you.
Ava tips her head back and groans, receiving many sharp and dirty looks from various students studying here. She doesn’t even have any cash on her to use at the vending machine, god this sucks ass.
She sits still for another 3 minutes, tops, before she casually starts the conversation again.
“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo.”
Beatrice stills and slowly turns to look at Ava with calculating eyes. However, much to Ava’s delight, she closes her book and looks expectantly at Ava, who just stares back. There’s an intensity to it and an intimacy to it as well.
She raises a single brow, go on, it seems to say, and Ava will, happily so.
Her chair screeches as she scoots closer to Beatrice’s and the librarian glares daggers in her direction because of it. She lays her phone down on the wooden table and opens her gallery to find the sketch she had someone do for her.
Its strands of heather, the flower, intertwined into a circle.
“It was my mom’s favourite flower, I want it on by back,” and she turns on her chair so that her back faces Beatrice. She raises a clumsy hand to reach around and smack the area of her back between her shoulder blades.
The gentle touch of Beatrice’s hands on her back startle her, and goosebumps prickle on her arms. She turns back around and sees Beatrice with an unreadable expression on her face.
“I think it’ll look lovely,” she says softly, smiling a close-lipped smile and Ava beams back at her, bumping their shoulders together.
As she does so, a loud buzz from her phone grabs both of their attention and they direct their eyes to it. Ava once again receives a multitude of dirty looks and she fears that she might be chased out of the building by a hoard of angry Scottish scholars, wielding 18th century literature and cans of Monster.
It’s a message from Camilla, agonising again over her kiss with Lilith, Ava opens the message and replies. Her and Beatrice giggle over it together and Beatrice smacks Ava’s arm, chastising her between huffs of laughter, telling her to not be so mean.
Ava elbows her in retaliation and tries to stifle her giggle when she sees the librarian peek around the corner again, eyeing them suspiciously.
She sends off another message, in hopes of calming Camilla down when she turns her head to look at Beatrice and only then realises how close their faces are.
Their noses pretty much brush and she can feel Beatrice’s warm puffs of breath on her lips. Can smell the lavender of her shampoo.
Their foreheads bump and Ava’s hand rests on Beatrice’s thigh, softly squeezing it. The shudder of Beatrice’s breath is almost deafening, and Ava throws all rationale out the hypothetical window in the clown house that is her mind, and leans in.
“Hi guys! Oh Beatrice, you’ll never guess what I found,” Yasmine speaks in a hushed tone and sits down opposite them, where Ava had previously sat.
Beatrice and Ava jerk away from each other, Ava suddenly very interested in her shoes, and eager to retie them, make sure the laces are tight enough and all. Beatrice clears her throat and straightens up, turning to Yasmine with a polite smile.
They chat about whatever lame old book she’s been given permission to use and Ava tries to stop herself from going into cardiac arrest.
She’s so fucked.
xXx
JC takes her to a three-star restaurant and has his shirt unbuttoned so low that she almost sees his bellybutton.
Its not awful, she just wishes that he wasn’t the person sat opposite her.
She ignores how his cologne is too pungent and an attack on her nose, or how he’s gelled his hair too much. Or how he checks out the waitress that serves them.
She ignores how he talks with his mouth full and stares at her chest unashamed.
She ignores how hesitant he is to pay for dinner.
When they stand outside the restaurant after, its cold and she stupidly didn’t bring a jacket. He doesn’t offer his, but wraps a heavy arm around her shoulders and calls her babe.
He leans in and kisses her, and she kisses back. There’s too much tongue and his hands are too big and heavy on her hips. He’s fast, impatient and when he breathes hotly in her ear, “yours or mine,” she hates how the first image which bursts into her mind is neither, and actually Beatrice’s apartment.
“Mine,” she whispers huskily, pulling him back in by the collar and kisses him harder, because then she might forget about her.
When they’re at her flat, in her bed and she’s on top of him, she ignores how quickly he cums and doesn’t ask her what she wants him to do.
She tries to ignore the housephone in the living room ring, as she grinds harder on him, but her eyes snap open when the person leaves a voicemail.
“Hey, its me.”
Beatrice.
“I forgot to say earlier this evening, when you sent that photo of yourself before the date.”
JC’s hands are on her hips, guiding her but she imagines that they’re Beatrice’s. Pretends that its Beatrice below her. She lets the English voice sing to her from the phone.
He doesn’t seem to hear the phone, or rather he just doesn’t care.
“But you looked gorgeous.”
Ava whines at that, Beatrice’s husky voice and when she closes her eyes all she can see is Beatrice’s abs in the gym pic she sent. Her voice whispering low in Ava’s ear. Her breath on Ava’s lips. Her eyes on Ava, all of the time.
She feels it build and all she thinks is Beatrice, Beatrice, Beatrice.
When she hits her climax, its hard and long and she hates JC’s cocky smirk because it wasn’t for him. It wasn’t because of him.
“Fuck, fuck B-” She cuts herself off before she moans Beatrice’s name and lets it ring through her room.
JC pulls out and Ava flops on the bed next to him, chest heaving. He apparently is a one and done kind of guy, giving her a sloppy kiss before leaving.
That night she comes three more times with her hands between her legs, thinking of Beatrice.
xXx
“So…how was it?”
Ava turns her head at the whisper, looking away from the giant whiteboard and the professor, to instead look at Camilla. Her friend is biting the end of her table and glancing between Ava and the board, eyebrows raised in question.
“It was fine,” Ava shrugs nonchalantly, and quickly scribbling down notes, side eying Camilla when she hears the girls gasp.
She leans in closer, and Ava can practically feel her warm breath against her ear.
“Bullshit.”
The pencil is dropped, and Ava turns in her seat to face Camilla. She’s glad that they’re near the back of the hall because it means that people are less likely to glare at them or notice their hushed conversation.
“What do you mean, bullshit?”
Camilla sits up in her chair confidently. “You have no filter. If you’ve slept with someone or kissed them, I know all about it.” Well, that’s…that’s actually quite true, Ava doesn’t really have many personal boundaries. “I also never have to ask, so, how bad was it?”
Ava sighs and slumps back in her chair, grabbing her takeaway cup and smudging the condensation on the side with her thumb.
“It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t-”
“Beatrice,” Camilla nods sagely and Ava smacks her arm, shushing her loudly and sinking in her chair when a few heads turn to stare at them.
The cup is smacked onto the small desk and Ava shoots a dirty look at a guy a few rows down, who continues to stare at them.
“I don’t have a thing for Beatrice, honest to god Camilla, I don’t,” Ava swears and it feels physically wrong to say it out loud. Camilla doesn’t buy it of course, instead she rolls her eyes and flicks her rubber at Ava’s head.
Ava’s hand goes up to rub where it hit her head and glares at Camilla.
“It’s nothing, I swear.”
They go back to work and sit in silence for 10 more minutes before Camilla speaks again.
“Hey, were you guys texting on um, Thursday, like at 4 o’clock,” she says conversationally, avoiding eye contact with Ava as she does so. “More specifically, between 16:40 and 16:50?”
“Why…” Ava says slowly, watching as Camilla bites back a smile and scribbles down some numbers.
She shrugs one shoulder, glancing at Ava and pursing her lips. “Its just-Lilith was at the gym that time, and messaged me.”
“So, you two are good now?”
Camilla frowns at Ava’s weak attempt of steering the conversation around.
“Not my point, anyway she was there with Beatrice and they were working out and its funny because she sent me a picture of Beatrice because she found the entire thing hilarious.”
Ava frowns, not quite sure where Camilla is going with this.
“The timestamp of the photo was like 16:45 and I must admit, it was rather funny.”
16:45, what were her and Beatrice talking about at 16:45 on Thursday. She racks her brain and comes up short, so she quickly scrolls through snapchat and freezes when she sees the conversation. The lingerie.
Fuck.
“Apparently, Beatrice received a message, and her face went bright red, and she fell off the treadmill,” Camilla says casually, smiling secretly at her. “Just thought that would maybe be of interest to you.”
Ava slumps back in her chair once again, completely blocking out everything that’s being said by the professor and she stares at the phone in her hands.
That’s what happened during those 5 minutes where Beatrice wouldn’t respond.
Holy shit.